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1
00:00:01,827 --> 00:00:04,917
My name is Chip. Life's been
knocking me on my butt lately.
2
00:00:04,961 --> 00:00:06,223
My best friend died
out of nowhere.
3
00:00:06,267 --> 00:00:08,704
Oh, I'm really
gonna miss you, Ray.
4
00:00:08,747 --> 00:00:11,707
And my wife, well...
Your girl's pregnant.
5
00:00:11,750 --> 00:00:13,361
I hadn't opened a Bible
in 20 years,
6
00:00:13,404 --> 00:00:15,841
but it's helped so many,
and I needed help.
7
00:00:15,885 --> 00:00:17,234
I've decided to live my life
8
00:00:17,278 --> 00:00:19,454
100% by the Bible.
9
00:00:19,497 --> 00:00:21,456
To the letter.
[laughs]
10
00:00:21,499 --> 00:00:22,805
I get that reaction a lot.
11
00:00:22,848 --> 00:00:25,025
But with the help
of my God Squad,
12
00:00:25,068 --> 00:00:27,592
I'm becoming a better man,
one verse at a time.
13
00:00:27,636 --> 00:00:30,726
I am living biblically.
14
00:00:33,642 --> 00:00:35,470
Morning.
15
00:00:35,818 --> 00:00:38,342
Enjoying that nice,
hot mug of coffee?
16
00:00:39,865 --> 00:00:43,695
Cheryl, did you call security
because I used your mug?
17
00:00:43,739 --> 00:00:45,262
What else was I supposed to do?
18
00:00:45,306 --> 00:00:46,916
[sighs]
19
00:00:46,959 --> 00:00:49,614
I don't know, say, "Hey, Chip,
you know that promotional mug
20
00:00:49,658 --> 00:00:51,660
"from the company
that repairs our copier?
21
00:00:51,703 --> 00:00:54,706
I weirdly consider it
my personal property."
22
00:00:55,620 --> 00:00:57,361
Wash the lady's mug, Chip.
23
00:00:58,710 --> 00:01:00,799
With soap. Not one of
those half-assed rinse-offs
24
00:01:00,843 --> 00:01:02,801
your generation
loves so much.
25
00:01:02,845 --> 00:01:05,369
We're from
the same generation, Cheryl.
26
00:01:05,413 --> 00:01:08,242
Different planets,
but the same generation.
27
00:01:09,504 --> 00:01:10,679
Oh, what planet
are you from?
28
00:01:12,637 --> 00:01:14,596
Okay, everybody.
29
00:01:14,639 --> 00:01:16,076
It's that time
of year,
30
00:01:16,119 --> 00:01:17,990
when the staff of the Arrow
31
00:01:18,034 --> 00:01:19,731
takes on a charity project.
32
00:01:19,775 --> 00:01:23,170
And I'm not talking
about Cheryl's wardrobe.
33
00:01:23,213 --> 00:01:24,649
You're not happy
when I wear clothes,
34
00:01:24,693 --> 00:01:26,608
you're not happy
when I don't wear clothes.
35
00:01:26,651 --> 00:01:28,479
So, once again,
36
00:01:28,523 --> 00:01:30,829
we are going to Six Flags
37
00:01:30,873 --> 00:01:31,830
and we're gonna
raise money
38
00:01:31,874 --> 00:01:33,789
with Koaster Rides 4 Kidz.
39
00:01:33,832 --> 00:01:35,834
Yeah, we are![cheering, applause]
40
00:01:35,878 --> 00:01:37,140
It's coaster time!
41
00:01:37,184 --> 00:01:38,489
Click, click, click,
click, click, click.
42
00:01:38,533 --> 00:01:41,840
Oh, no, no...
[yelling]: Oh!
43
00:01:41,884 --> 00:01:44,713
Well, nobody sit behind me,
I plan on throwing up a lot.
44
00:01:44,756 --> 00:01:46,715
Click, click, click,
click, click, click.
45
00:01:46,758 --> 00:01:48,717
[imitates retching]
46
00:01:50,545 --> 00:01:52,503
Oh, this is great.
This is exactly
47
00:01:52,547 --> 00:01:55,158
what my Bible journey's
been lacking-- charity.
48
00:01:55,202 --> 00:01:57,029
I love it that we're
gonna make a difference
49
00:01:57,073 --> 00:01:58,292
in the lives of, uh...
50
00:01:58,335 --> 00:02:00,946
What's the deal
with these kids again?
51
00:02:00,990 --> 00:02:04,820
I assume they're needy
in some way.
52
00:02:05,560 --> 00:02:07,083
Every time
we ride
53
00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:11,043
a coaster, we are raising cash
for these little bastards.
54
00:02:11,087 --> 00:02:12,697
We really are such good people.
55
00:02:12,741 --> 00:02:14,830
[chuckles]
Hey-- freeze frame high five?
56
00:02:17,920 --> 00:02:19,922
♪
57
00:02:20,052 --> 00:02:22,185
So, I pay money
and you ride roller coasters?
58
00:02:22,229 --> 00:02:23,230
Yeah.
59
00:02:23,273 --> 00:02:24,709
Well, what kind of charity
is that?
60
00:02:24,753 --> 00:02:26,407
You know, I mean, uh...
Here, I'll make up a charity.
61
00:02:26,450 --> 00:02:28,583
Golfing for Gil, all right?
62
00:02:30,280 --> 00:02:31,325
You pay, I golf.
63
00:02:33,196 --> 00:02:35,198
No. No, no.
It-It's for the kids.
64
00:02:35,242 --> 00:02:37,200
That's why "koaster" has a "K."
65
00:02:38,680 --> 00:02:40,029
For the kids.
66
00:02:40,072 --> 00:02:42,249
What exactly are you doing
for the kids?
67
00:02:42,292 --> 00:02:44,120
Koasting.
68
00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:46,166
With a "K."
69
00:02:46,209 --> 00:02:48,037
To raise cash with a "C,"
70
00:02:48,080 --> 00:02:50,692
but for kids with a "K."
71
00:02:50,735 --> 00:02:54,130
That's a no with an "N."
72
00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:57,351
Why don't you just give
the cash directly to the kids?
73
00:02:57,394 --> 00:02:58,961
Then who would ride
the roller coasters?
74
00:03:00,267 --> 00:03:01,224
Hey, guys.
75
00:03:01,268 --> 00:03:03,270
CHIP:
Hello, baby.Hi.
76
00:03:03,313 --> 00:03:05,402
Look at you, you popped.
77
00:03:05,446 --> 00:03:07,361
What, this?
78
00:03:07,404 --> 00:03:08,623
Did she not pop?
79
00:03:08,666 --> 00:03:10,190
Let me peek.
Oh, you popped.
80
00:03:11,408 --> 00:03:12,888
Mary Poppins over here.
81
00:03:12,931 --> 00:03:14,237
Snap, crackle, pop.
82
00:03:14,281 --> 00:03:16,631
Oh, my God. You guys,
that's actually a myth.
83
00:03:16,674 --> 00:03:18,241
Pregnant women's tummies
don't "pop."
84
00:03:18,285 --> 00:03:20,374
It was gradual,
you just hadn't noticed.
85
00:03:20,417 --> 00:03:21,462
Nah, she popped.
86
00:03:21,505 --> 00:03:23,028
Girl popped,
and she can't stop.
87
00:03:24,552 --> 00:03:28,164
Honey, the guys are skeptical
about Koaster Rides 4 Kidz.
88
00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:30,079
Because of the name,
and what it is?
89
00:03:31,080 --> 00:03:33,038
Yes.
Yes.
90
00:03:33,082 --> 00:03:35,302
Well, ask your co-workers
to switch causes.
91
00:03:35,345 --> 00:03:37,913
I mean, we donate bone marrow
at my office.
92
00:03:37,956 --> 00:03:39,480
That is perfect, Les.
93
00:03:39,523 --> 00:03:40,785
Yes, we'll do that.
94
00:03:40,829 --> 00:03:41,960
Yeah, it's easy.
95
00:03:42,004 --> 00:03:43,179
They just make an incision,
96
00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:44,789
insert a needle
into your pelvic bone
97
00:03:44,833 --> 00:03:46,226
and then withdraw the marrow.
98
00:03:51,361 --> 00:03:54,364
What else could we do?
99
00:03:54,408 --> 00:03:56,540
Well, uh, a family
from our church
100
00:03:56,584 --> 00:03:58,934
had their home badly damaged
in a fire, and I'm trying
101
00:03:58,977 --> 00:04:00,979
to get parishioners together
to rebuild it for them.
102
00:04:01,023 --> 00:04:03,112
You want to run that
by your office?
103
00:04:03,155 --> 00:04:05,636
[short exhale]
That sounds way more charitable,
104
00:04:05,680 --> 00:04:08,335
and, uh, I get to avoid
a needle to the pubic bone.
105
00:04:08,378 --> 00:04:09,510
[chuckles]
106
00:04:10,772 --> 00:04:12,861
Pelvic... pelvic bone.
107
00:04:15,429 --> 00:04:17,344
You know, I love this.
I am in, too.
108
00:04:17,387 --> 00:04:20,564
You know, we could be extra
charitable and fix the house
109
00:04:20,608 --> 00:04:22,262
anddonate the bone marrow.
110
00:04:25,439 --> 00:04:27,049
House is good.
House is good.No, I'm good
111
00:04:27,092 --> 00:04:28,616
with just the house.Just the one.
Yeah, house is good.
112
00:04:34,099 --> 00:04:35,710
Are you kidding, Chip?
113
00:04:35,753 --> 00:04:37,494
What's wrong
with Koaster Rides 4 Kidz?
114
00:04:37,538 --> 00:04:39,975
It's the only charity
where we benefit, too.
115
00:04:40,018 --> 00:04:42,325
And I think
that we could do more
116
00:04:42,369 --> 00:04:44,371
than just ride roller coasters.
117
00:04:44,414 --> 00:04:46,503
You mean like hit
the water park, too?
118
00:04:46,547 --> 00:04:49,985
Oh, I'd love to show off
my new three-piece bathing suit.
119
00:04:50,028 --> 00:04:50,986
Three-piece?
120
00:04:51,029 --> 00:04:52,596
There's a vest.
121
00:04:54,119 --> 00:04:56,034
I need to know
if we're doing water slides,
122
00:04:56,078 --> 00:04:56,992
so I can shave my body.
123
00:04:58,385 --> 00:04:59,864
If I'm not slippery as a seal,
124
00:04:59,908 --> 00:05:01,213
I'm not getting
my money's worth.
125
00:05:01,257 --> 00:05:04,173
No, guys, we could roll up
our sleeves
126
00:05:04,216 --> 00:05:06,349
and, you know,
do some real, tangible good
127
00:05:06,393 --> 00:05:08,569
for a family
that really needs it.
128
00:05:08,612 --> 00:05:09,700
Now, wouldn't that feel better
129
00:05:09,744 --> 00:05:11,528
than just going
to some amusement park?
130
00:05:11,572 --> 00:05:12,747
No.
131
00:05:14,139 --> 00:05:15,445
Hold up a second.
132
00:05:15,489 --> 00:05:18,318
I know Chip said it,
but maybe it's not stupid.
133
00:05:19,971 --> 00:05:23,061
Every year, those do-gooders
over at the Daily News
134
00:05:23,105 --> 00:05:24,411
make us look bad
135
00:05:24,454 --> 00:05:27,718
with their "curing childhood
obesity" charade.
136
00:05:27,762 --> 00:05:29,024
[scoffs]
137
00:05:29,067 --> 00:05:31,069
Fat kids are cute.
138
00:05:31,113 --> 00:05:33,028
But this house-building thing?
139
00:05:33,071 --> 00:05:35,987
We are gonna own their asses.
140
00:05:36,031 --> 00:05:38,425
See, that's what charity
is all about.
141
00:05:38,468 --> 00:05:41,515
Charity is actually not at all
about owning asses.
142
00:05:41,558 --> 00:05:44,344
But, guys, come on, we're gonna
build a house, huh?
143
00:05:44,387 --> 00:05:45,432
This is great.
144
00:05:45,475 --> 00:05:46,998
Freeze frame high five.
145
00:05:47,042 --> 00:05:48,913
No.
146
00:05:54,702 --> 00:05:56,878
I got to say,
I'm impressed, Chip.
147
00:05:56,921 --> 00:05:58,880
I didn't even have
to find people.
148
00:05:58,923 --> 00:06:01,535
You filled up the whole
signup sheet with your crew.Oh, yeah. Yeah.
149
00:06:01,578 --> 00:06:02,927
You're making me proud.
150
00:06:02,971 --> 00:06:05,016
All right, man, well, yeah,
happy to hear it.
151
00:06:05,060 --> 00:06:08,063
Everybody's really psyched to do
something selfless, you know?
152
00:06:08,106 --> 00:06:09,891
Welcome, everyone.
153
00:06:09,934 --> 00:06:11,675
Uh, thank you very
much for being here.
154
00:06:11,719 --> 00:06:13,808
We have a big day
ahead of us, so I hope
155
00:06:13,851 --> 00:06:15,984
you all ate your spinach
this morning.
156
00:06:16,027 --> 00:06:17,420
We were supposed
to eat spinach?
157
00:06:18,421 --> 00:06:19,988
I didn't get an e-mail.
158
00:06:20,031 --> 00:06:22,904
I also did not receive
the spinach e-mail.
159
00:06:22,947 --> 00:06:25,907
No, no, I just mean that
you'll have to use your muscles.
160
00:06:25,950 --> 00:06:28,866
Did you send that
to my CompuServe address?
161
00:06:28,910 --> 00:06:29,998
Check your spam folder.
162
00:06:30,041 --> 00:06:31,478
I don't have spam,
I have junk.
163
00:06:31,521 --> 00:06:32,696
Is that the same thing?
164
00:06:32,740 --> 00:06:34,002
No, on mine, it's on...
165
00:06:34,045 --> 00:06:35,351
There is no spinach e-mail.
166
00:06:36,831 --> 00:06:38,006
Ah, look at Vince.
167
00:06:38,049 --> 00:06:39,573
Already firing up the nail gun.
168
00:06:39,616 --> 00:06:42,184
Oh, I'm just snapping
a Tinder pic.
169
00:06:42,227 --> 00:06:45,448
A shot of me being charitable
could really pump up my profile.
170
00:06:45,492 --> 00:06:47,015
[nail gun fires][all shouting]
171
00:06:48,277 --> 00:06:52,020
Uh, let-let's start you
with a regular hammer.
172
00:06:53,717 --> 00:06:56,590
Oh, oh! Check out the
baby bump on Leslie.
173
00:06:56,633 --> 00:06:58,026
My girl popped.
174
00:06:58,069 --> 00:06:59,506
She sure did.
175
00:06:59,549 --> 00:07:00,811
Gross.
176
00:07:02,073 --> 00:07:03,945
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
177
00:07:03,988 --> 00:07:06,251
You can't be doing that
in your delicate state.
178
00:07:06,295 --> 00:07:08,297
Can we get this
woman some pillows,
179
00:07:08,340 --> 00:07:10,299
maybe a glass of lemonade?
180
00:07:10,342 --> 00:07:11,518
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
she can't drink lemonade,
181
00:07:11,561 --> 00:07:12,823
now that she popped.
182
00:07:12,867 --> 00:07:15,826
There's no such thing
as "popped," people.
183
00:07:15,870 --> 00:07:17,219
Everyone, please.
184
00:07:17,262 --> 00:07:18,350
I know it's a long day,
185
00:07:18,394 --> 00:07:20,004
and it's easy to get distracted,
186
00:07:20,048 --> 00:07:22,267
especially when you've
been here...
187
00:07:22,311 --> 00:07:23,704
almost a minute.
188
00:07:25,227 --> 00:07:27,142
But we got to get the frame
finished today.
189
00:07:27,185 --> 00:07:29,274
I need each of you
to sign this release.
190
00:07:29,318 --> 00:07:31,015
Oh, I'll need my lawyer
to read it.
191
00:07:31,059 --> 00:07:33,670
Can you fax this
to 1-800-Accidentes?
192
00:07:35,324 --> 00:07:37,282
Now, there's breakfast,
193
00:07:37,326 --> 00:07:38,501
if you're hungry.
194
00:07:39,937 --> 00:07:41,591
DunkingDonuts?
195
00:07:41,635 --> 00:07:43,854
With a "G"? There's not
supposed to be a "G."
196
00:07:43,898 --> 00:07:45,726
Sorry, they're knock-offs.
197
00:07:45,769 --> 00:07:48,163
We're a church,
we can't afford name brands.
198
00:07:48,206 --> 00:07:50,513
Get your complaining out now,
because for lunch,
199
00:07:50,557 --> 00:07:52,515
we're having Jack in the Bag.
200
00:07:52,559 --> 00:07:54,299
Jack in the Bag?
201
00:07:54,343 --> 00:07:56,214
That place sucks.
202
00:07:56,258 --> 00:08:00,044
I'd rather have Hamburger King
than Jack in the Bag.
203
00:08:00,088 --> 00:08:03,047
I could have my wife pick
us up some Merkdernalds.
204
00:08:04,658 --> 00:08:06,181
Ooh, can I get
some chicken merknerggets?
205
00:08:06,224 --> 00:08:08,488
With herney merstard?
206
00:08:10,185 --> 00:08:12,100
Hey, guys, listen, we're...
207
00:08:12,143 --> 00:08:14,189
we're kind of missing the point
here, all right?
208
00:08:14,232 --> 00:08:17,235
It's not about bad donuts
or cheap lunch, or...
209
00:08:17,279 --> 00:08:21,065
ugh, a portable toilet
from a Stephen King novel.
210
00:08:21,109 --> 00:08:24,068
It's about helping out
a family in need, okay?
211
00:08:24,112 --> 00:08:26,027
[gasping]
212
00:08:26,070 --> 00:08:28,072
Air!
213
00:08:29,900 --> 00:08:31,598
How... how
I've missed you.
214
00:08:31,641 --> 00:08:34,557
All the beauty
of God's creation...
215
00:08:34,601 --> 00:08:37,691
[sniffs]
...is returning to me.
216
00:08:37,734 --> 00:08:41,564
I inhaled death
through the nose,
217
00:08:41,608 --> 00:08:45,394
and I shall never
complain about life again.
218
00:08:45,437 --> 00:08:48,179
DunkingDonuts?
Seriously?
219
00:08:53,968 --> 00:08:56,318
Man, we're not even close.
220
00:08:57,580 --> 00:09:00,191
This house is gonna have
walls on all sides, huh?
221
00:09:00,235 --> 00:09:02,542
Yes. It's going to be
one of thosehouses.
222
00:09:05,153 --> 00:09:07,285
Your people really got to pick
up the pace here, Chip.
223
00:09:07,329 --> 00:09:09,766
I mean, Cheryl just
told me it was her naptime.
224
00:09:09,810 --> 00:09:12,029
Oh, I am so sorry, Gene.
225
00:09:12,073 --> 00:09:13,335
That is embarrassing.
226
00:09:13,378 --> 00:09:15,685
But that said, don't
wake her-- she bites.
227
00:09:17,295 --> 00:09:20,385
Hey, uh, Vince, you want to
help me brace this joist?
228
00:09:21,430 --> 00:09:22,649
Vince?
229
00:09:22,692 --> 00:09:25,347
Uh, sorry, Rabbi,
I got a girl in Williamsburg
230
00:09:25,390 --> 00:09:26,609
that wants me
to brace herjoist.
231
00:09:28,698 --> 00:09:31,179
[groans]
Leslie.Hmm.
232
00:09:31,222 --> 00:09:32,484
Looks like you're doing
a ton of work
233
00:09:32,528 --> 00:09:33,790
and not getting any credit.
234
00:09:33,834 --> 00:09:35,270
Thank you for noticing.
235
00:09:35,313 --> 00:09:36,314
Everyone thinks that just
because I'm pregnant,
236
00:09:36,358 --> 00:09:37,751
I'm too delicate to help.
237
00:09:38,621 --> 00:09:39,927
Yeah, I'm in the same boat.
238
00:09:39,970 --> 00:09:42,190
You know, I know I don't
exactly exude machismo,
239
00:09:42,233 --> 00:09:43,800
but, uh, I can build.
240
00:09:45,149 --> 00:09:48,413
What do you say we joist forces
and school these trolls?
241
00:09:48,457 --> 00:09:49,414
Oh.
242
00:09:49,458 --> 00:09:50,546
[sighs]
243
00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:51,982
Hey, you guys good here
for a half hour?
244
00:09:52,026 --> 00:09:53,201
I got to make a run
to the lumberyard.
245
00:09:53,244 --> 00:09:54,463
Oh, yeah.
246
00:09:54,506 --> 00:09:56,291
Take all the time you need, man.
We got this.
247
00:09:56,334 --> 00:09:58,815
Here's my impression of you when
you come back in a half an hour:
248
00:09:58,859 --> 00:10:01,252
"Uh, what happened
to the construction site?
249
00:10:01,296 --> 00:10:03,254
All I see is this
fully-built house."
250
00:10:03,298 --> 00:10:05,256
[chuckles]
251
00:10:05,300 --> 00:10:07,650
I feel I need to be
real clear here, Chip.
252
00:10:07,694 --> 00:10:10,000
If you build a house
in a half hour,
253
00:10:10,044 --> 00:10:11,611
it will be a very bad house.
254
00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:18,574
Hey, guys. Guys.
255
00:10:18,618 --> 00:10:20,794
Gene is really counting on me,
and we're dragging.
256
00:10:20,837 --> 00:10:23,492
We got to
pick up the pace, okay?[snaps fingers]
257
00:10:23,535 --> 00:10:24,580
MEADOWS:
Heads up, people!
258
00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:26,321
These pics are going
259
00:10:26,364 --> 00:10:27,931
into the company
press release,
260
00:10:27,975 --> 00:10:30,934
so everybody pretend like
you're really building a house.
261
00:10:30,978 --> 00:10:32,544
No. Don't pretend.
262
00:10:32,588 --> 00:10:34,851
Actually build the house.
263
00:10:34,895 --> 00:10:36,548
Get a picture of me
with this saw.
264
00:10:36,592 --> 00:10:37,680
[shutter clicking]
265
00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:40,509
Hey. Get my Tinder shot.
266
00:10:40,552 --> 00:10:42,032
Let me get the nail gun.
267
00:10:42,076 --> 00:10:43,512
Look out. Whoa.
268
00:10:44,644 --> 00:10:46,384
[shutter clicking]Okay, but...
269
00:10:46,428 --> 00:10:47,908
can we make this
quick, guys?
270
00:10:47,951 --> 00:10:51,085
We're here building a house,
not posing for Playgirl.
271
00:10:51,128 --> 00:10:52,652
I appeared in Playgirlonce.
272
00:10:54,218 --> 00:10:56,264
November '94 issue.
273
00:10:56,307 --> 00:10:59,484
I was butt-naked eating
a turkey leg on a leather couch.
274
00:11:01,486 --> 00:11:04,315
That's terrific, Warren.
275
00:11:04,359 --> 00:11:06,361
Untwist your panties, Chip.
276
00:11:06,404 --> 00:11:08,363
A little PR? There's
nothing wrong with that.
277
00:11:08,406 --> 00:11:10,017
Well, there is
something wrong with it
278
00:11:10,060 --> 00:11:11,496
when it's all you care about.
279
00:11:11,540 --> 00:11:12,672
Charity isn't about you.
280
00:11:12,715 --> 00:11:14,456
All right?
And we're letting Gene down.
281
00:11:14,499 --> 00:11:16,110
And we're letting
this family down.
282
00:11:16,153 --> 00:11:18,155
Hey, you should be grateful
we're here at all.No, no.
283
00:11:18,199 --> 00:11:20,767
All right.We could be at Six Flags
right now,
284
00:11:20,810 --> 00:11:23,334
eating funnel cake,
drinking beer.
285
00:11:23,378 --> 00:11:25,162
You know, for the kids.Hey!
286
00:11:25,206 --> 00:11:27,512
For the love of God,
put the nail gun down!
287
00:11:29,036 --> 00:11:30,428
You know what? Fine.
288
00:11:30,472 --> 00:11:32,909
If you'd rather be lazy
and go ride roller coasters
289
00:11:32,953 --> 00:11:35,477
instead of building a house
for a family in need,
290
00:11:35,520 --> 00:11:37,392
be my guest, there's the door.
291
00:11:37,435 --> 00:11:38,741
Or there would be
292
00:11:38,785 --> 00:11:41,439
the door,
if anyone had built it.
293
00:11:41,483 --> 00:11:43,528
I'd be much happier
riding roller coasters.
294
00:11:43,572 --> 00:11:44,442
Me, too.
295
00:11:44,486 --> 00:11:45,661
I'm out of here, too.
296
00:11:45,705 --> 00:11:47,532
Especially if I'm just
gonna get yelled at
297
00:11:47,576 --> 00:11:49,099
by Ned Flanders
over here.
298
00:11:50,013 --> 00:11:51,319
Hell, we got
all the pictures we need,
299
00:11:51,362 --> 00:11:52,973
so, mission accomplished.
300
00:11:53,930 --> 00:11:57,238
And how dare you call us lazy.
301
00:11:57,934 --> 00:11:59,327
Vince.
302
00:11:59,370 --> 00:12:02,547
Go wake up Cheryl.
We're getting out of here.
303
00:12:02,591 --> 00:12:05,072
Wait, you guys are
actually leaving?
304
00:12:05,115 --> 00:12:08,466
Fine. Fine.
Enjoy riding roller coasters.
305
00:12:08,510 --> 00:12:10,599
I hope you fall off!
306
00:12:11,643 --> 00:12:13,384
No, I don't.
Have a safe time.
307
00:12:13,428 --> 00:12:16,300
But...
I hope the lines are long!
308
00:12:17,562 --> 00:12:19,434
Oh, don't worry about it.
309
00:12:19,477 --> 00:12:21,479
We got this, okay?
And, hey,
310
00:12:21,523 --> 00:12:23,046
more donuts for us.
311
00:12:27,268 --> 00:12:30,488
Heck of a job
on the wall, Warren!
312
00:12:36,320 --> 00:12:37,887
[electric tool whirring]
313
00:12:45,112 --> 00:12:46,983
Where are my workers?
314
00:12:47,027 --> 00:12:48,463
Oh, they went to Six Flags.
315
00:12:49,856 --> 00:12:51,553
What? Why?
316
00:12:51,596 --> 00:12:53,816
I told them if they'd
rather be at Six Flags,
317
00:12:53,860 --> 00:12:55,731
then they should go,
thinking they wouldn't go.
318
00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:57,733
Long story short, they went.
319
00:12:59,126 --> 00:13:02,607
Chip, everyone in the world
would rather be at Six Flags.
320
00:13:02,651 --> 00:13:04,566
I'd rather be at Six Flags.
321
00:13:04,609 --> 00:13:08,222
How am I gonna build a house
with one guy helping me?
322
00:13:08,265 --> 00:13:10,702
[clearing throat]
323
00:13:10,746 --> 00:13:13,009
Oh, honey,
you need water?
324
00:13:13,053 --> 00:13:16,056
You got to stay hydrated
now that you've... [pops mouth]
325
00:13:16,099 --> 00:13:18,449
There's no such thing
as "popped."
326
00:13:18,493 --> 00:13:21,322
I was saying that Gil and I
are here working, too.
327
00:13:21,365 --> 00:13:23,715
Yeah. We cut and installed
all the soffits.Yeah.
328
00:13:23,759 --> 00:13:26,414
Soffits?
329
00:13:26,457 --> 00:13:28,720
Gil, you don't have
to make up words.
330
00:13:28,764 --> 00:13:30,679
Soffits are real.
331
00:13:30,722 --> 00:13:33,943
They're prepped and ready
for the electrician.
332
00:13:33,987 --> 00:13:35,336
Oh, Gil.
333
00:13:37,164 --> 00:13:39,122
I appreciate you guys
trying to help,
334
00:13:39,166 --> 00:13:41,429
but without the others,
we're not gonna be ready
335
00:13:41,472 --> 00:13:42,909
for the roofers
tomorrow.
336
00:13:42,952 --> 00:13:45,737
Well, look,
they just didn't get it, Gene.
337
00:13:45,781 --> 00:13:47,391
They made it all about
showing off
338
00:13:47,435 --> 00:13:49,524
how charitable they could be
for their own selfish reasons.
339
00:13:49,567 --> 00:13:52,048
But if you're gonna be here,
be here for the right reasons.
340
00:13:52,092 --> 00:13:53,223
Am I right?
341
00:13:53,267 --> 00:13:54,268
No.
342
00:13:55,660 --> 00:13:57,140
It's great when people do
343
00:13:57,184 --> 00:13:58,881
the right thing
for the right reasons.
344
00:13:58,925 --> 00:14:01,623
But almost as great
is when they do the right thing
345
00:14:01,666 --> 00:14:03,146
for the wrong reasons.
346
00:14:03,190 --> 00:14:05,845
Because the right thing
gets done anyway.
347
00:14:05,888 --> 00:14:08,064
The man's correct.
348
00:14:08,108 --> 00:14:09,326
Look at the Bible.
349
00:14:09,370 --> 00:14:11,459
You know, Samson
was a womanizer,
350
00:14:11,502 --> 00:14:13,853
David an adulterer,
Noah a drunk.
351
00:14:15,071 --> 00:14:17,334
They were all
flawed people,
352
00:14:17,378 --> 00:14:19,771
but they all
did God's work.
353
00:14:19,815 --> 00:14:21,469
Hmm.Oh, okay.
354
00:14:21,512 --> 00:14:23,079
So...
355
00:14:23,123 --> 00:14:26,909
if God had only got
perfect people to do stuff,
356
00:14:26,953 --> 00:14:30,478
no stuff would have
ever got done.
357
00:14:33,350 --> 00:14:36,919
We phrased it a little more
eloquently than that, but yes.
358
00:14:36,963 --> 00:14:38,486
Aren't you a writer?
359
00:14:44,100 --> 00:14:45,710
Aw, dang it!
360
00:14:45,754 --> 00:14:48,539
I got to get
those guys back here.
361
00:14:48,583 --> 00:14:51,586
[sighs]
I'm such a tool sometimes.
362
00:14:51,629 --> 00:14:54,154
I know, babe.[sighs heavily]
363
00:14:57,984 --> 00:15:00,725
Man, that Nosedive Nightmare
ride was so fun,
364
00:15:00,769 --> 00:15:03,467
I finally got close
to living out my fantasy
365
00:15:03,511 --> 00:15:05,905
of plummeting
from an airplane to my death.
366
00:15:06,993 --> 00:15:09,212
Cheryl, you were
screaming your balls off
367
00:15:09,256 --> 00:15:10,387
in the front row.
368
00:15:10,431 --> 00:15:12,389
[laughs, snorts]
I saw your gum
369
00:15:12,433 --> 00:15:13,825
fly out of your mouth.
370
00:15:13,869 --> 00:15:15,131
[laughing]
371
00:15:15,175 --> 00:15:17,394
I caught it in mymouth.
372
00:15:18,656 --> 00:15:20,615
Would you like it back?
373
00:15:20,658 --> 00:15:22,704
Yes, I would.
374
00:15:29,493 --> 00:15:31,843
Best part:
it's all for a good cause.
375
00:15:31,887 --> 00:15:34,237
Look how many likes
my coaster pic is getting.
376
00:15:34,281 --> 00:15:37,501
These are "skinny girl
with a huge ass" numbers.
377
00:15:37,545 --> 00:15:39,590
Chip was so snotty about it,
378
00:15:39,634 --> 00:15:41,810
like this house thing
is so important.
379
00:15:41,853 --> 00:15:44,508
[scoffs] I mean, we're
raising awareness.
380
00:15:44,552 --> 00:15:48,469
Awareness is way more valuable
than some stupid house.
381
00:15:48,512 --> 00:15:51,124
That's right. Because of us,
now people know about kids.
382
00:15:52,473 --> 00:15:53,909
And roller coasters.
383
00:15:53,953 --> 00:15:55,867
VINCE:
Huh.
384
00:15:55,911 --> 00:15:58,392
Chip just posted a picture
from the construction site
385
00:15:58,435 --> 00:16:00,089
with his arm
around two little kids.
386
00:16:00,133 --> 00:16:03,092
Caption says, "Building a house
for these sweet little angels.
387
00:16:03,136 --> 00:16:05,703
Hope to put a roof
over their heads by tonight."
388
00:16:05,747 --> 00:16:07,140
Hmm.
389
00:16:07,183 --> 00:16:08,576
I feel guilty.
390
00:16:08,619 --> 00:16:10,534
My therapist says
I'm a sociopath,
391
00:16:10,578 --> 00:16:12,710
so we must have done
something reallybad.
392
00:16:15,061 --> 00:16:17,672
Look at that
adorable little girl.
393
00:16:17,715 --> 00:16:19,891
I'll bet she even has a lisp.
394
00:16:20,936 --> 00:16:22,590
That's nice.
395
00:16:22,633 --> 00:16:24,070
Good for Chip.
396
00:16:24,113 --> 00:16:27,464
We're all doing good today.
397
00:16:27,508 --> 00:16:29,640
Yeah.
398
00:16:31,729 --> 00:16:33,340
Are we?
399
00:16:34,428 --> 00:16:36,604
I'll bet she says "Chrithmath."
400
00:16:37,648 --> 00:16:39,041
Stop lisping,
Warren.
401
00:16:39,085 --> 00:16:41,043
Thorry, Mith Meadowth.
402
00:16:56,102 --> 00:16:58,669
[exclaims] All right,
that's done. What's next?
403
00:16:58,713 --> 00:17:01,716
Well, that didn't need
to be nailed, so...
404
00:17:03,674 --> 00:17:06,634
I guess next would be taking
all those nails out.
405
00:17:07,678 --> 00:17:09,419
It's okay, Chip.
406
00:17:09,463 --> 00:17:12,031
I'm canceling the roofers.
We're not gonna make it.
407
00:17:12,074 --> 00:17:13,293
Oh, no, Gene.
408
00:17:13,336 --> 00:17:15,295
Come on. Hey, we're
making progress.
409
00:17:15,338 --> 00:17:16,861
We can do this.[sighs]
410
00:17:16,905 --> 00:17:19,168
Look around, Chip,
what do you see?
411
00:17:19,212 --> 00:17:21,649
Well, I see a...
412
00:17:21,692 --> 00:17:23,433
I don't know.
413
00:17:23,477 --> 00:17:24,608
Vince!
414
00:17:24,652 --> 00:17:26,567
Ah!
[laughs]
415
00:17:26,610 --> 00:17:28,917
They came back!Of course we came back.
416
00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:32,312
Did you think we were gonna
let you do this on your own?Well, yes. You left.
417
00:17:33,661 --> 00:17:35,402
Well, that's fair.
But now we're back.
418
00:17:35,445 --> 00:17:37,665
Everyone but Cheryl.
419
00:17:37,708 --> 00:17:39,275
She's hiding
in the park overnight
420
00:17:39,319 --> 00:17:41,973
so she can be the first one
there when it opens.
421
00:17:42,017 --> 00:17:44,628
Hey, listen, I'm just
glad you guys are back.
422
00:17:44,672 --> 00:17:46,543
I knew if you searched
your hearts...
423
00:17:46,587 --> 00:17:48,284
Hey, Chip,
a little less yammering,
424
00:17:48,328 --> 00:17:49,677
a little more hammering.
425
00:17:49,720 --> 00:17:51,287
Warren's right.
426
00:17:51,331 --> 00:17:53,202
Let's dive back in, people.
427
00:17:53,246 --> 00:17:54,769
The family's
coming by soon.
428
00:17:54,812 --> 00:17:56,901
Let's give them
a front door to walk through.
429
00:17:56,945 --> 00:17:58,860
Oh, you mean thisdoor?
430
00:17:58,903 --> 00:18:00,383
That's right, baby.
431
00:18:00,427 --> 00:18:02,994
See what happens when you
underestimate a pregnant woman?
432
00:18:04,213 --> 00:18:07,086
And a rabbi who sells
homemade birdhouses on Etsy?
433
00:18:07,129 --> 00:18:08,913
[sniffs]
434
00:18:10,785 --> 00:18:12,265
Freeze frame high five.
435
00:18:12,308 --> 00:18:13,657
Hey!
[laughs]
436
00:18:15,616 --> 00:18:17,879
You can put your hand
down now, Gil.
437
00:18:17,922 --> 00:18:19,185
Um...
438
00:18:19,228 --> 00:18:22,362
actually, I can't.
My back went out. Um...
439
00:18:22,405 --> 00:18:24,451
How about you guys
work around me?
440
00:18:24,494 --> 00:18:26,496
I'm gonna be here
for a while.
441
00:18:26,540 --> 00:18:27,758
All right.
Oh.
442
00:18:31,762 --> 00:18:33,764
♪
443
00:18:45,689 --> 00:18:48,518
Mmm. Hey, Gene,
thanks for the beer, man.
444
00:18:48,562 --> 00:18:51,913
I've never had a, uh,
Spudweiser before.
445
00:18:51,956 --> 00:18:54,829
You can really taste the potato.Mm.
446
00:18:54,872 --> 00:18:57,310
The family
is blown away
447
00:18:57,353 --> 00:18:59,529
by all we've
accomplished today.
448
00:18:59,573 --> 00:19:01,531
You should all
feel really good.
449
00:19:01,575 --> 00:19:03,838
I do. Except for this blister.
450
00:19:03,881 --> 00:19:06,667
Then I got a splinter
inmy blister.
451
00:19:06,710 --> 00:19:08,625
I hate wood.
452
00:19:08,669 --> 00:19:10,061
We get it.
You're a lesbian.
453
00:19:12,890 --> 00:19:15,676
Oh, hey! Guys, this is one
of the little munchkins
454
00:19:15,719 --> 00:19:17,678
that we were building
the house for.
455
00:19:17,721 --> 00:19:20,594
It's taking long enough.
456
00:19:21,638 --> 00:19:23,074
Now, sweetie, you know,
457
00:19:23,118 --> 00:19:24,728
these people
all gave up their weekend
458
00:19:24,772 --> 00:19:26,687
so that they could
help you out.
459
00:19:26,730 --> 00:19:29,298
[scoffs] Like they had
anything else going on.
460
00:19:29,342 --> 00:19:30,995
Look at these dorks.
461
00:19:34,216 --> 00:19:35,261
Wait a minute.
462
00:19:35,304 --> 00:19:37,045
She's mean.
463
00:19:37,088 --> 00:19:40,135
And she doesn't have
a lisp at all.
464
00:19:40,179 --> 00:19:42,485
Your Instagram said they were
sweet little angels.
465
00:19:42,529 --> 00:19:45,445
Well... all of God's
children are angels.
466
00:19:45,488 --> 00:19:47,186
Aah!
467
00:19:47,229 --> 00:19:48,839
Why?!
468
00:19:50,276 --> 00:19:53,975
Anybody else kind of
loving this kid? [laughs]
469
00:19:54,018 --> 00:19:56,717
All right, so, yeah,
I fudged the truth a little bit.
470
00:19:56,760 --> 00:19:57,892
Which was wrong.
471
00:19:57,935 --> 00:20:00,547
But I got the right thing done.
472
00:20:02,026 --> 00:20:03,245
Well done, buddy.
473
00:20:03,289 --> 00:20:04,725
Thanks, man.
474
00:20:04,768 --> 00:20:07,075
So which one's gonna
be your room, sweetie?
475
00:20:07,118 --> 00:20:08,772
You're fat.
476
00:20:09,817 --> 00:20:11,384
No, I'm not.
477
00:20:11,427 --> 00:20:13,777
I just popped.
478
00:20:13,821 --> 00:20:17,085
There's no such thing
as "popped," chubs.
479
00:20:17,128 --> 00:20:20,871
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
480
00:20:20,915 --> 00:20:22,873
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
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