Original subtitles

GUYS DON'T CALL WOMEN WHO SLEEP AROUND SLUTS.

UNH-UNH. WE JUST CALL THEM. YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?

THIS IS THE COOLEST SHOW I'VE EVER BEEN ON.

THIS IS MY FANTASY.

LIKE, IF I HAD A DREAM ABOUT

DOING COMEDY, THIS IS IT.

I HAVE TO DO STAND-UP COMEDY,

AND I'M JUST NOT SURE HOW IT'S

GONNA TURN OUT.

IF I MEET A WOMAN AND SHE HAS

A NICE ASS, SHE HAS A BOYFRIEND.

I FEEL LIBERATED WHEN I GET NAKED,

SO IT'S BEEN A GREAT EXPERIENCE.

BUT IF I MEET A WOMAN AND SHE HAS AGREATASS,

SHE IS IN HIGH SCHOOL.

AS YOU CAN CLEARLY SEE,

IF I WASN'T WEARING THESE, I WOULD BE NAKED.

I HAVE NEVER WORKED WITH SHANNON ELIZABETH BEFORE.

[ Elizabeth ] I'M YOUR HOST, SHANNON ELIZABETH.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

WELCOME TO "LIVE NUDE COMEDY"!

JITTERS ARE GONE. EXCITEMENT'S KICKING IN.

ENERGY, YOU CAN FEEL IT.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

I'M TAKING A NAP.

IT'S FUN TO GET NAKED.

[ LAUGHS ]

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, SHANNON ELIZABETH.

[ UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYING ]

- [ Elizabeth ] UH, GUYS! - [ MUSIC STOPS ]

WHAT THE HELL? WHERE'S THE WATER?

UH, YEAH. SHANNON, WE COULDN'T AFFORD TO

HOOK UP THE WATER GAG.

[ LAUGHTER ]

[ Elizabeth ] YOU KNOW, YOU COULD HAVE TOLD ME THIS!

THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT OF THIS DANCE.

I MEAN, YOU CAN'T JUST SPRING THAT ON ME.

UM... HANG ON. I GOT AN IDEA.

STAY RIGHT THERE.

[ Elizabeth ] [ SIGHS ]

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

WELCOME TO "LIVE NUDE COMEDY"!

I'M SHANNON ELIZABETH.

TONIGHT, YOU'RE GONNA SEE COMEDIANS, BURLESQUE PERFORMERS,

AND APPARENTLY TWO VERY COLD BOTTLES OF WATER.

THIS NEXT DANCER'S GONNA DAZZLE

YOU WITH THE ART OF BELLY DANCE.

PLEASE WELCOME AMELIE.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

HOLD ME CLOSELY

TOUCH MY BODY

COME ON WITH ME

LET'S GET FREAKY

SHAKE IT DOWN, DOWN, DOWN, DOWN, DOWN, DOWN

IF YOU WANT TO BE WITH ME TONIGHT

YOU LOOK THE BEST, BUT DO YOU HAVE THE REST

TO KEEP ME BY YOUR SIDE?

SHAKE IT DOWN, DOWN, DOWN, DOWN, DOWN, DOWN

IF YOU WANT TO BE MY MAN TONIGHT

LET LOOSE THE FIRE BUT YOU WON'T BE MINE

TILL YOU KEEP ME SATISFIED

OW!

I SEE YOUR EYES ALL OVER ME

TELL ME, ARE YOU READY FOR WHAT YOU SEE?

IT LOOKS TO ME YOU'RE A BROTHER WHO'S GOT IT MADE

YOU'VE HELD US HERE

AND YOU SHOW ME, BABY, WHAT IT TAKES

SHAKE IT DOWN, DOWN, DOWN, DOWN, DOWN, DOWN

IF YOU WANT TO BE WITH ME TONIGHT

YOU LOOK THE BEST, BUT DO YOU HAVE THE REST

TO KEEP ME BY YOUR SIDE?

SHAKE IT DOWN, DOWN, DOWN, DOWN, DOWN, DOWN

IF YOU WANT TO BE MY MAN TONIGHT

LET LOOSE THE FIRE BUT YOU WON'T BE MINE

TILL YOU KEEP ME SATISFIED

OH

OH

OH, OH, OH

OH, OH, OH

OH

OH

OH, OH, OH

OH, OH, OH

TOUCH THERE, MY HIPS AND EVERYWHERE

EYES STARE

THE REST, WELL, I DON'T CARE

LOST CONTROL, SO CAUGHT UP IN THIS FEELING, OH

WE BOTH KNOW IT'S ALL NIGHT, BABY, LET'S GO

SHAKE, SHAKE

OH

SHAKE, SHAKE

OH

SHAKE, SHAKE

OH

SHAKE, SHAKE

OH

HOLD ME CLOSELY

TOUCH MY BODY

COME ON WITH ME

LET'S GET FREAKY

SHAKE IT DOWN, DOWN, DOWN, DOWN, DOWN, DOWN

IF YOU WANT TO BE WITH ME TONIGHT

YOU LOOK THE BEST, BUT DO YOU HAVE THE REST

TO KEEP ME BY YOUR SIDE?

SHAKE IT DOWN, DOWN, DOWN, DOWN, DOWN, DOWN

IF YOU WANT TO BE MY MAN TONIGHT

LET LOOSE THE FIRE BUT YOU WON'T BE MINE

TILL YOU KEEP ME SATISFIED

SHAKE IT DOWN, DOWN, DOWN, DOWN, DOWN, DOWN

IF YOU WANT TO BE WITH ME TONIGHT

YOU LOOK THE BEST, BUT DO YOU HAVE THE REST

TO KEEP ME BY YOUR SIDE?

SHAKE IT DOWN, DOWN, DOWN, DOWN, DOWN, DOWN

IF YOU WANT TO BE WITH ME TONIGHT

LET LOOSE THE FIRE

BUT YOU WON'T BE MINE

TILL YOU KEEP ME SATISFIED

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

SO YOU'VE MOVED AROUND YOUR WHOLE LIFE.

YES, MY DAD WAS IN THE MILITARY.

YEAH? HOW WAS THAT?

IT WAS AWESOME.

I MOVED, I THINK, AT LEAST EIGHT

TIMES BY THE TIME I WAS 8.

AND I GOT TO SEE THE WORLD AND

TOUCH HISTORY AND CASTLES AND STUFF.

THAT'S WHY I'M LIKE THIS RIGHT NOW.

[ LAUGHS ]

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

[ Elizabeth ] ALL RIGHT!

NOW, THIS NEXT PERFORMER IS FROM BOSTON, MASSACHUSETTS,

AND HE IS A BIG RED SOX FAN, AND I KNOW THIS FIRSTHAND

BECAUSE BACKSTAGE HE TRIED TO SHOW ME HIS GREEN MONSTER.

YEAH.

OKAY, GIVE IT UP FOR MIKE FAVERMAN!

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

GOOD-LOOKING --

GOOD-LOOKING CROWD. HOW YOU GUYS FEELING?

YOU DOING ALL RIGHT?

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

I WAS GONNA PUT MY HAIR IN CORNROWS THIS MORNING.

I FOUND A CROP CIRCLE.

[ LAUGHTER ]

LOOKS LIKE I WAS WEARING A BURNING YARMULKE, DOESN'T IT?

ASSHOLES.

GAVE A HOMELESS GUY A BAG OF MY OLD CLOTHES TODAY.

HE LOOKS THROUGH THEM AND GOES, "NAH, I'M GOOD."

[ LAUGHTER ]

WHAT A DICK, HUH?

THIS GUY'S WEARING A FedEx BOX.

I DON'T FEEL BAD FOR ALL THE HOMELESS.

I SAW AN 18-YEAR-OLD HOMELESS KID TODAY -- 18, YEAH.

GAVE UP A LITTLE BIT EARLY, HUH, FUCK FACE?

[ LAUGHTER ]

WHAT? YOU GET A "C" IN ENGLISH? "IT'S OVER!

THAT SHIT'S HARD!"

SAW A HOMELESS GUY WITH A GIRLFRIEND TODAY.

DUDE, YOU GOT TO BE A SMOOTH MOTHERFUCKER

TO BE PULLING ASS WITH NO HOME.

[ LAUGHTER ]

WHAT'S THE PICKUP LINE?

"HEY, COME BACK TO THE DUMPSTER, HUH?

I'VE GOT LEFTOVER LEFTOVERS."

WENT UP TO A WOMAN TODAY TO CONGRATULATE HER ON HER

PREGNANCY, AND SHE WASN'T PREGNANT.

MAN, I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. I PANICKED AND JUST SMACKED HER

AND SCREAMED, "RACIST!" AND JUST TOOK OFF.

THAT'S THE ONLY SHIT YOU CAN DO AT THAT POINT, RIGHT?

THAT'SHERPROBLEM.

I SAW A LADY BEATING HER KID TODAY.

THAT'S SOME DISTURBING SHIT, TOO, RIGHT?

YOU EVER SEE A LADY BEATING HER KID?

THIS IS WHAT YOU DO, SNEAK UP RIGHT NEXT TO THEM, AND YOU

START BEATING THE FUCK OUT OF THE KID, TOO.

THEY'LL BE LIKE, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

"MOVE OVER, BITCH, I'M HELPING!

YOU MUST EMBARRASS HIM FOR HIM TO LEARN!"

SHE STARTS LOVING THE KID AGAIN.

IT'S LIKE REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY, RIGHT?

THIS IS MY MOM'S FAVORITE JOKE. I WAS ON A DATE THE OTHER DAY,

WENT BACK TO HER HOUSE.

SHE WAS LIKE, "WOULD YOU LIKE TO COME INSIDE?"

I WAS LIKE, "SURE, IF YOU'RE ON

THE PILL, BUT I PREFER THE FACE AND THE TITS."

[ LAUGHTER ]

OH, MOM.

WHEN GAY MEN MASTURBATE, DO THEY EVER GET THE URGE TO SHOOT IT IN

THEIR OWN FACE OUT OF INSTINCTS?

SIR, I'M ASKING YOU.

DUDE, IF I WAS GAY, EVERY MORNING -- BOOM!

GOOD MORNING!

PROTEIN SHAKE, GOOD FOR THE SKIN.

JUST RUB THAT SHIT IN. YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?

WENT TO KENTUCKY FRIED CHICKEN TODAY.

THAT'S SOME GARBAGE, HUH?

THEIR MOTTO IS, "WE DO CHICKEN RIGHT."

I THINK THEY SHOULD KEEP THAT, BUT SAY IT DIFFERENTLY.

THEY SHOULD SAY IT LIKE THIS,

"WE DO CHICKEN...

RIGHT?"

[ LAUGHTER ]

OH, THANK YOU.

USED TO WORK FOR A HOTEL.

LADY COMES UP TO ME AND GOES, "CAN I HAVE A WAKE-UP CALL?"

I SAID, "YOU'RE FAT, AND YOU'RE LUCKY TO EVER GET MARRIED."

[ LAUGHTER ]

SHE WAS. SHE WAS DISGUSTING.

I STILL FUCKED HER, THOUGH.

WE ALL HAVE AN UGLY FRIEND. AM I RIGHT? YEAH.

IF YOU DON'T, IT'S PROBABLY YOU.

[ LAUGHTER ]

DUDE, MY UGLY BUDDY CALLED ME UP THE OTHER DAY.

HE TOLD ME HE HAD SEX WITH TWO WOMEN AT THE SAME TIME,

BOTH OF THEM OVER 400 POUNDS.

DUDE, HOW SWEET IS THAT?

IT'S LIKE BEING IN ONE OF THOSE MOONWALKS WHERE YOU'RE LIKE...

PFFT!

PFFT!

PFFT!

PT!

HERE'S WHERE IT GETS DISGUSTING.

HE SAID, AS SOON AS HE GOT THEM IN THE ROOM,

THEY IMMEDIATELY WENT DOWN ON EACH OTHER.

YEAH. THAT'S NOT A 69.

THAT'S A 6,996.

[ LAUGHTER ]

SEESAW STYLE, TOO.

LIKE...

[ LAUGHTER ]

CAN YOU IMAGINE THE SMELL IN THAT ROOM?

SMELL LIKE A BAG OF SALT-AND-VINEGAR POTATO CHIPS

BLEW UP.

HOW TO DESCRIBE THAT EVENING --

GOOD FOOD, GOOD LAUGHS, GOOD GOD.

SINGLE NOW. IT'S GOOD. I WENT TO THE BAR THE OTHER DAY.

BARTENDER WAS HITTING ON ME

'CAUSE SHE WANTED THE TIP, RIGHT.

LITTLE DID SHE KNOW I WAS GONNA

GIVE HER THE WHOLE THING.

- YEAH! - YEAH!

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENED. I WAS AT THE BAR, A GIRL COMES

UP TO ME AND GOES, "MY FRIEND THINKS YOU'RE CUTE."

I WAS LIKE, "WELL, TELL HER SHE'S RIGHT."

I LOOK OVER. NOT TOO GOOD-LOOKING.

BODY, FIRST CLASS. FACE, COACH.

COACH CARTER.

MUSTACHE, WHISTLE.

SHE WAS ALL FUCKED UP, ALL RIGHT?

GOD MADE HER WHEN HE WAS DOING JAGER BOMBS IN TIJUANA.

TRUE STORIES ARE ALWAYS THE BEST, RIGHT?

I WENT TO VISIT SOME FRIENDS THE OTHER DAY -- YOUNG COUPLE.

MY BUDDY ANSWERED THE DOOR LIMPING,

AND HIS GIRLFRIEND HAD A NECK BRACE ON.

I ASKED THEM WHAT HAPPENED.

THEY SAID, "CAR ACCIDENT," WHICH

IS BULLSHIT 'CAUSE THEY TAKE THE BUS.

HERE'S WHAT REALLY HAPPENED.

THEY WERE HAVING SEX DOGGIE

STYLE, AND THE CAT WAS IN THE ROOM.

THE CAT ATTACKED THE GUY'S BALLS DURING SEX.

HE FREAKS OUT, PUSHES HER,

AND SHE SNAPS HER NECK ON THE HEADBOARD.

DUDE, HOW AWESOME IS THAT?

THOSE ARE MY FRIENDS WE'RE TALKING ABOUT!

I WOULD HAVE LOVED TO HAVE SEEN THAT SHIT LIVE!

YOU CAN SEE THE CAT LOOKING UP, LIKE...

LOOKING UP AT THE UGLIEST BALL OF YARN.

LOOKS LIKE A FAT MOUSE WITH LEUKEMIA, RIGHT?

AND HE'S JUST PARRING THAT SHIT!

IT'S LIKE TETHERBALL FOR HIM, RIGHT?

GUY'S UP THERE HAVING A BLAST.

FINALLY, THE CAT WAS LIKE, "FUCK IT!"

[ SCREECHES ]

AND HELD ON TO IT!

HE WAS LIKE, "HOLY SHIT!"

GIVES A WHOLE NEW MEANING TO LETTING THE CAT OUT OF THE BAG.

MY BUDDY HAD TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL

TO GET STITCHES ON HIS SHIT.

IF I WAS A DOCTOR, I WOULD HAVE HAD A FIELD DAY WITH THAT.

"CAN YOU TELL MEONEMORE TIME HOW THIS HAPPENED?"

YOU KNOW, THE CAT RULED THE HOUSE.

HE'D WALK IN THE ROOM LIKE, "WHAT'S UP, BITCHES?"

GOT A LOT OF TIME ON MY HANDS AS A COMEDIAN.

YOU EVER HAVE TIME, GO TO A COFFEE SHOP,

SIT NEXT TO A STRANGER. SAY, "HEY, MAN.

CAN YOU WATCH MY STUFF?" THEN YOU GO OVER TO YOUR BUDDIES

AND SAY, "HEY, CAN YOU GO OVER THERE AND GRAB MY STUFF?"

AND YOU WATCH THEM BEAT THE FUCK OUT OF EACH OTHER.

OR YOU WANT TO MESS WITH A REALLY BEAUTIFUL WOMAN,

WALK UP TO A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN, TAP HER ON THE SHOULDER.

SAY, "EXCUSE ME."

WHEN SHE TURNS AROUND, GO, "UGH, FORGET IT."

[ LAUGHTER ]

USED TO WORK IN THE RESTAURANT BUSINESS.

I DIDN'T WORK FOR A TGI FRIDAY'S.

I WORKED FOR THEIR COMPETITOR, OH, FUCK, IT'S MONDAY.

[ LAUGHTER ]

WORKED IN THE KITCHEN WITH 10 MEXICAN BROTHERS.

THEY USED TO CALL ME THE WHITEBACK.

I LOVE MEXICAN MEN 'CAUSE THEY LOVE WOMEN WITH BIG ASSES,

AND THEY'RE LITTLE GUYS.

YOU JUST PICTURE THEM MAKING LOVE LIKE...

YEAH!

"OH, ME GUSTA!"

LOOK LIKE A KOALA BEAR HUGGING A REDWOOD, YOU KNOW?

I HAD A GAY BOSS, TOO.

HE TOLD ME HE WAS HAUNTED BY A GAY GHOST IN HIS HOUSE.

DUDE, HOW GAY IS THAT?

WHAT, HE HAUNTS YOU FROM THE CLOSET AT FIRST?

CAME OUT LATE AT NIGHT, WAS LIKE, "BOO!

BOO!"

YOU WOKE UP. YOUR ROOM'S ALL REDECORATED.

HE HAD GUCCI SHEETS AND GUMMY BRACELETS ON.

I GOT FIRED FROM THAT JOB. I THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD REASON.

YOUNG COUPLE MAKING OUT AT THE TABLE, DISGUSTING.

I DON'T WANT TO SEE THAT SHIT. YOU EVER SEE TWO PEOPLE MAKING

OUT IN PUBLIC, MAKES YOU FEEL

UNCOMFORTABLE, AND YOU WANT THEM TO STOP?

JUST WALK RIGHT UP TO THEM AND GO LIKE THIS.

[ LAUGHTER ]

MMM-MMM!

YOU GUYS ARE HOT!

SMACK HER ASS! SMACK HER ASS!

ALL RIGHT. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. MY NAME'S MIKE FAVERMAN.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

[ Elizabeth ] SO...

SO, I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY GIRLS

WEAR CLOTHES WITH WORDS ON THEM

BECAUSE WHEN A GIRL HAS A SHIRT

ON THAT SAYS "PORN-STAR SLUT,"

IT'S USUALLY NOT IRONIC.

IT'S REDUNDANT.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

GIVE IT UP FOR THERESA AND KAVITA.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

[ INDUSTRIAL MUSIC PLAYS ]

I'M

MOVING ON

I'M

MOVING ON

MOVING ON

SO LONG

I CAN'T TAKE IT NO MORE

LOS ANGELES

A LONELY TOWN OF BROKEN HEARTS

AND BROKEN DREAMS

NOTHING'S AS IT SEEMS UNLESS

YOU'RE LOOKING IN THE MIRROR

AND EVEN THEN YOU CANNOT WIN

WHEN DREAMS HAVE FADED AND

YOU'VE GOTTEN JADED

DON'T EVEN RECOGNIZE

YOURSELF

I'M

MOVING ON

SO LONG

I CAN'T TAKE IT NO MORE

IF YOU'VE GOT THE MONEY

HONEY, ROLL THE DICE

YOU'RE SURE TO WIN

WHERE THE SUN IS ALWAYS

SHINING

EMPTY SOUL

EMPTY BED OR EMPTY POCKETS

FILLED WITH GIANT HEARTACHE

LIKE MINE

I'M

MOVING ON

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

YEAH, THEY THOUGHT WE LOOKED ALIKE,

BECAUSE WE'RE BOTH DARKER.

SO WE GET THE WHOLE LESBIAN, SISTER-ISH KIND OF TWIST.

[ Elizabeth ] NOW, I ACTUALLY HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THIS NEXT

PERFORMER'S GONNA BE DOING.

IT'S A COMPLETE MYSTERY, AS IS HIS SEXUALITY.

LET'S HEAR IT FOR ANDY DICK!

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

THANK YOU SO MUCH.

GOD BLESS YOU. I LOVE YOU.

YOU'RE NICE. YOU'RE SO NICE.

I WANT TO TELL YOU ABOUT MY PREDICAMENT.

WE WROTE A SONG LITERALLY YESTERDAY.

I'M GONNA HAVE A CHEAT SHEET, PLEASE.

[ GUITAR MUSIC PLAYS ]

LONG STORY SHORT, I TOLD THE OFFICER...

WELL, I ASKED HIM, "TRULY, IS IT ILLEGAL TO BE DRUNK IN PUBLIC?

WELL, HIS HARD BOOT HEEL ON MY NECK TOLD ME YES,

AND NOW...

I CAN'T DRINK IN THE CITY OF RIVERSIDE

IN FACT, COME TO THINK OF IT, I CAN'T DRINK LEGALLY ANYWHERE.

BUT LORD KNOWS I'VE TRIED

THEY'RE KEEPING A BROTHER DOWN

FIBER-OPTICALLY TETHERED TO THE GROUND

[ LAUGHTER ]

IT'S THE FIRST TIME I'M BRINGING HER OUT.

TALKING ABOUT MY NEW FANDANGO GIZMO GADGET HERE.

ELECTRONICAL.

STRAPPED AROUND MY ANKLE HERE BETTER THAN A...

BETTER THAN AN iPod.

BETTER THAN AN iPhone. I CALL IT THE "I FUCKED UP."

[ LAUGHTER ]

I KNOW. I KNOW. IT LOOKS LIKE...

IT LOOKS LIKE ONE OF THOSE PAGERS AT BENNIGAN'S.

ALSO KNOWN AS THE "SECURE CONTINUOUS REMOTE ALCOHOL

MONITORING ANKLE BRACELET."

[ LAUGHTER ]

THAT'S REAL STUFF. REAL STUFF.

S.C.R.A.M. ANKLET, FOR SHORT.

S.C.R.A.M. ANKLET

IT'S DAMN SHAMEFUL

I GOT MY HOLIDAY GIFT A LITTLE EARLY FROM UNCLE SAM

YOU KNOW THAT LITTLE RED, WHITE, AND BLUE CRACKER

HE DON'T GIVE A DAMN

HE SLAPPED IT 'ROUND MY SHIN

IT'S NOT LIKE IT IS CONSTRAINING OR ANYTHING

IT IS CUTTING OFF THE PERCOLATIONS TO MY FEET.

IF THEY HAD ANY SMARTS,

THEY WOULD HAVE WRAPPED ONE AROUND MY NECK.

FA-FA-FA-FA-FA

I AM PERMANENTLY WI-FI'ed,

ANKLED ONLINE TO THE MAN,

OFFICER NOT-SO-FRIENDLY,

MONITORING MY BLOOD-ALCOHOL

LEVEL FROM A REMOTE LOCATION IN

WHO GIVES A GOOD GODDAMNSVILLE.

FA-FA-FA-FA

IT'S GPS MONITORING AT ITS FINEST.

GLOBAL POSITIONING IS SUCKING!

AND MY GLOBAL POSITION IS DOGGIE

STYLE 'CAUSE I'M THE ONE GETTING SCREWED!

FA-FA-FA-FA-FA-FA-FA-FA

BUZZING MY SORRY ASS EVERY HALF-HOUR.

I AIN'T KIDDING. EVERY HALF-HOUR.

BZZT!

"WE'RE WATCHING YOU."

BZZT! "YOU CAN'T DRINK."

BZZT! "THAT ONE WAS JUST FOR FUN."

MOTHERFUCKERS!

FA-FA-FA-FA

FA-FA-FA

KEEP THE HORN SECTION DOWN!

FA-FA-FA-FA-FA-FA-FA!

WHOA-WHOA-WHOA-WHOA!

WHOA-WHOA-WHOA-WHOA-WHOA

THEY'RE KEEPING A BROTHER DOWN

FIBER-OPTICALLY TETHERED TO THE GROUND

I GOT THE SECURE CONTINUOUS REMOTE CONTROL ALCOHOL MONITOR

ANKLE BRACELET BLUES

THAT'S A MOUTHFUL. LET'S TRY THAT ONE AGAIN.

I GOT THE SECURE CONTINUOUS

REMOTE ALCOHOL MONITOR ANKLE

BRACELET BLUES

YES, I DO

NICE AND SLOW. LET'S DO IT.

I GOT THE SECURE CONTINUOUS REMOTE

ALCOHOL MONITORING ANKLE BRACELET

BLU-U-U-U-U-U-U-U-U-ES

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

[ Elizabeth ] [ LAUGHS ]

- HOW ARE YOU? - GOOD!

- THAT WAS AWESOME. - THANK YOU.

[ Elizabeth ] WELL, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THAT WAS OUR SHOW.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR JOINING US.

I'M SHANNON ELIZABETH.

GOOD NIGHT!

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]