Original subtitles

Find your secret sweetheart at Degrassi.

Thanks.

Declan! Do you want one?

All proceeds go to the musical!

Oh, yeah, I booked the music atrium after school.

Songwriter showcase.

Yeah, I saw that. I moved it to lunch.

All bookings go through "la presidenta."

That would be me.

Punishment for disobeying protocol?

Is Degrassi a dictatorship?

Holly J.: A benevolent one. If you come after school,

you're double-booked with the steel drum band.

See ya.

Now that's a girl worth fighting for.

Holly J. Sinclair?

You have health insurance, right?

-What you got? -Matchmaker forms!

Fill in your profile and find your soul mate.

Best two bucks I'll ever spend!

So, would I pick a penny up off the floor?

Yes, no, or only if no one saw me.

Um, yes?

Me too!

Why are you all filling them out

if you're already a couple?

To see if we're destined to be together?

Come on, Danny!

You're just picking "C" for everything!

'Cause I have an actual standardized test!

I still can't figure out noun declensions.

Latin AP? Killing me, too.

Who needs a dead language, anyway?

I don't know, everyone who's pre-law?

(School bell rings)

Okay. Lex tempus!

Later, dudes.

Pay two dollars for matchmaker results this Friday,

a.k.a. date night!

Speaking of, if any of you have little brothers or sisters,

the Premium Babysitting Agency's date night drop-in

offers child-care for moms and dads looking for a night out.

Degrassi gym Friday, 40 dollars a head.

What the?

The Tessas are giving a private concert this Friday.

I've got two backstage passes.

What do you say?

They just played "SNL", and it's their last small venue gig

before the stadium tour.

Strings were pulled!

Thanks, but I'm busy.

What?

Earth to planet Declan, I hate the Tessas.

And I'm working Friday so that everyone else can go on a date!

Don't you listen?

Couldn't you get someone to cover?

Please, Declan. You barely know me.

I'm not your type.

Is that a challenge?

More of an observation.

Your so-called girlfriends have either been attached like Jane,

or ditzy.

Hey! Trish is very sweet.

She's a house plant.

You like low-maintenance.

Date a Honda!

(Lock clicks on stall door)

Did you hear how Danny talks to me?

I'm sure he's just stressed about the test.

(Sighs)

Do you think I'm losing him?

Uh, why would you say that?

We have nothing in common!

We go for coffee and just sit there, mute.

Sounds like he takes you for granted.

It's like I'm not even there sometimes.

But I bet he'd miss you if you were gone!

I was just reading in "Sizzle Teen."

Where is it?

A-ha!

"10 ways to re-ignite the spark!"

Number three- "the pre-emptive strike."

What's that?

It's where you break up with a guy first

to show him who's boss.

But then I'll have no boyfriend!

Only 'til he sees what he's missing.

You really think that'll work?

It's a classic move, trust me.

Pre-emptive strike, huh? I'll give it a try.

Thanks, Chantay!

911 text?

You have to help me.

I need the deets on Holly J. Sinclair.

The dragon lady of Degrassi?

Why?

Because she says I don't know her.

(Scoffs) Whatever that means.

I have her on Facebook, her Twitter ID.

You're digging up info on the Internet?

Bit pathetic for you.

What? She's amazing, Fi.

-(Computer beeps) -Look.

She's a yellow belt in Taekwondo!

Oh, no. This never ends well for you.

Remember Sophie?

(Scoffs)

Gimme some credit.

You were a wreck for six months!

I can't listen to any more Coldplay.

Please, Fi?

I know you girls like to share. What have you heard?

No! I just- I think we're better off as friends.

Hey, how'd it go?

Uh, it was hard, but I did it.

Perfect. Now, you just wait for him to come crawling back.

(Laughs)

Who can tell me the rhyme scheme of a Spenserian love sonnet?

This better work!

(Sighs)

I am blowing your minds, folks.

An M.I. class outside.

Okay, form a line!

Quickly, let's form a line!

Okay, since it is matchmaker week,

we're gonna learn how computers use binary sets

to create unique user profiles.

Okay, step forward if you are male.

And another if you are 17 and older.

And once again if you have a sibling that's younger than you.

All right.

And once again if you watch

guitar solo tutorials on YouTube.

(Class mutters)

See? We just created a profile for Sav.

All right, who wants a shot?

Declan. Floor's all yours.

All right, back in line.

Step forward if you're female.

Step forward again if you love mushroom pizza.

Step forward again if you've won a public speaking competition.

Step forward if you're afraid of spiders.

Once more if you know all the words to "Mamma Mia."

Think you're in love!

(Giggles)

And that's what we call niche marketing!

P.A. announcement: Attention, Degrassi!

Bring an instrument or lift your voice.

Would the lady care to join me?

I can't believe you went to the trouble

to find all that out.

Well, I do have government intelligence contacts.

But (Whispering) it was mostly Fiona

bribing all your friends for me.

So, I don't know much about you.

Oh, you know, just your average nomad childhood

on four continents.

Boo-hoo! Sounds amazing.

It has its down side. You know, moving all the time,

malaria pills, not speaking the language.

No wild beach nights in Capri?

Uh, not so much. (Chuckles)

But when we lived in Thailand, I did meet the Dalai Lama.

The Dalai Lama?! Seriously?

Yeah, I was about 8.

-Declan? -Trish!

We're still on for tonight?

(Chuckles) Let me guess.

"I met the Dalai Lama when I was 8-years-old."

Uh, yeah, actually.

Next he'll tell you he made lifelong friends

with an elephant he rode.

It's a tearjerker.

And here I thought this was a conversation, not a script!

Holly J., wait.

I almost fell for it.

Holly J.!

(Surprised chatter and laughter)

(Sighs)

Come on! It's our anniversary!

Spill! What's the big surprise?

No way! I'm not telling!

Helen of Troy, she of "the face that launched a thousand ships."

We're gonna start what I call a class discussion!

And I'm expecting some pretty engaging-

A whole year, huh?

Maybe it is just finding the right girl.

You mean Holly J.?

There's someone for everyone, I guess.

Small problem, I kind of-

Messed up.

Yeah. She doesn't trust me at all.

Well, maybe talk to her. Just tell her how you feel.

Girls love that.

Mr. And he was also the ruler of Mount Olympus.

Listen, HJ, about the caf thing?

Honestly, it wasn't what it sounded like.

Yes, I still had plans with Trish, but-

Dude! You're still with Trish?

Mr. (Clears throat) Okay, let's begin

our little chat here.

But plans were to break up with her face-to-face.

Mr. The abduction of Helen by Paris.

Silent treatment? Seriously?

Let's go for the top!

Nice pass!

(Indistinct chatter)

Why are you being so helpful?

You're not the only one with a nose for gossip.

I saw Leia and Mr. Danny Van Zandt earlier,

and something was up!

Mind your own business, Dave.

Oh, come on. You've had a crush on this guy forever!

Shut up! I have not!

Chantay, did I imagine that you bedazzled

the initials C-V-Z on your backpack in grade six?

(Laughs) Oh, my God.

(Giggling)

I told Leia to dump Danny!

Mm!

Totally sly, cuz! I'm impressed.

Why? I'm a terrible person!

Yeah, but you got yourself in there!

So you gonna go out with him?

No! I can't go out with him ever!

Leia would kill me!

You gonna tell him that?

Hey! Uh, what are you up to Friday night, condiscipulus?

Condiscipulus?

Fellow student.

Latin A.P. test?

Uh, the dot's serving lava cakes.

What do you say we meet up and go over some new verbs?

Uh, just to study, right?

Of course. Yeah. Chocolate and translation.

See you at00?

Great.

Inside your result form

is a sticker with your name on it.

Stick it to your best match!

See? I knew we were a perfect fit!

(Laughs)

You didn't fill one out?

Why would I? How about you?

Please, let this be anyone but-

Number one match, Declan Coyne. Dammit!

If you need a friend to pick up the pieces afterwards,

I will be there.

Hey, he can't help being popular.

Holly J.: I have to let him into the sound booth

after lunch.

(Key clicks in lock)

I'm recording three solo musicians'

alienation theme.

Holly J., we need to talk.

(Scoffs) I'm just here to unlock doors.

Did someone leave a sandwich in there?

Bloody glee club!

(Door thuds shut, lock clicks)

Let me out!

(Inaudible through glass)

And just let me out!

I thought you weren't talking to me anymore!

I'm still not talking to you!

And I'm not gonna listen to your crap either way,

so you better save US some time

and just let me ou-

(Inaudible)

(Intercom clicks on)

Are you done?

(Sighs)

You're right, I'm a player.

Or have been.

I've never lived anywhere long,

and the one time I had an actual girlfriend,

I got my heart smashed.

It got ugly.

(Chuckles)

I wrote a poem called "Melancholy Turtle."

But about what happened in the caf, you're wrong.

You have to trust me, Holly J.

I don't normally try this hard, and I am terrified right now.

So could you please give me another chance?

I'm here to record for the musical.

Sure, let's do it.

(Lock clicks)

So?

You wanted me to listen.

I listened.

(Chuckles)

Ama-

Amos-

Amat!

(Sighs) There you are! You have to help me!

This isn't working at all!

He, uh, hasn't come crawling back?

Not even close!

He looks happy!

This was your idea, Chantay!

I know.

(Sighs) I miss him so much!

I didn't know what I had until I dumped him.

I'm sorry. I'll talk to him, okay?

Come by the Dot tonight.

We're studying for the Latin A.P.

Alone? On a Friday night?

Look, do you want my help or not?

Whatever! You have to fix this!

(Bathroom door slams)

Sav! Help a guy out?

Holly J.'s not like the usual girls I date.

She's a big fish. I need big ideas.

And keep in mind, I have access to a helicopter.

Um, big gestures freak girls out.

You should just try and find a way to spend time with her.

Like, uh, pick her up from the bus stop

or walk her to school.

Are you taking notes, honey?

-Mm-hmm. -Mm-hmm.

Speaking of big gestures,

what's the anniversary surprise?

A homemade "Sanya" scrapbook.

For a one-year anniversary?

Yeah, I'm screwed.

Yeah. (Laughs)

How about two backstage passes to the Tessas private concert?

You don't want these?

I got somewhere to be tonight.

Man! Thank you!

Ah!

Hey!

P.A. announcement: Attention, Degrassi.

The sixth annual international-

Oooh!

Aww!

Well, thanks for being here tonight.

Well, a work-date's better than nothing at all!

I agree!

Ab imo pectore.

Uh, what's that, "from under my pecs"?

(Laughs)

"From the bottom of my heart."

So, next verb- Abstineo!

(Sounding out) Ab-stin-eo.

Uh, what's Leia doing here?

Here's the thing.

You need to get back together with her.

But why? She dumped me.

It was my idea. Sort of.

I convinced her to break it off with you

so you'd miss her and come back.

Who does that?

"Sizzle Teen" magazine readers.

She didn't really want to dump you,

and she's really sorry and so am I.

(Clatter of toys, kids shouting)

Holly J.: Bye!

Okay, uh, so we've got two ADHDs,

three peanut allergies,

and one sugar-buzzed game of duck-duck-goose.

We're on it, boss.

(Kids shouting)

Okay! Everyone in a circle!

(Scuffling noises)

Ready?

Tyler, go!

Duck, duck, duck, duck,

duck, duck, duck, duck,

duck, duck, duck, duck,

duck, duck, duck, duck-

Got room for one more duck?

What are you doing here?

I thought you were supposed to be at the Tessas concert.

I couldn't wait.

For what?

To spend every possible moment with you.

Duck, duck, duck, duck-

Little kid: Goose!

Duck, goose!

Ahoy Matey! I'm gonna get ya!

(Kids laugh and shout)

Who wants to climb on me?

(Kids shrieking and laughing)

(Door squeaks, bells jingle)

I should mind my own business, huh?

Yes, you should.

Are you guys gonna be okay?

Uh, no.

What? I'm so sorry!

It's probably better.

Leia and I weren't working out.

I just couldn't get it together to end it.

Really?

I feel relieved, like a-

a huge weight's off my shoulders.

Danny, tonight, was this-

Not just a study date?

(Laughs)

So what does "Sizzle Teen" magazine

have to say about the girlfriend cross-fade?

It says a guy should wait to date another girl

for at least a month.

Make it two weeks, and you've got a deal!

(Giggles) Okay.

(Both laugh)

(Laughing) So, do you think pirate kid

was trying to kiss the Princess girl?

No, I think he was trying to slay her.

But that's what Sammy told me.

Oh! the kid who talked in burps?

Your table is ready, Mr. Coyne.

(Light jazz music plays)

Sources tell me it's the best mushroom slice

in all of Toronto.

Your pizza quattro fungi, as you ordered.

Can I get the lovely lady a brio?

Mm-hmm.

Mmm!

(Sighs)

Know what?

This is a good first date.

First date, huh?

Does this mean I'm in?

(Chuckling)

(Cellphone rings)

(Groans)

Just a sec.

(Beeps)

Who's that?

-(Button beeps) -It's nobody.

Now, where were we?

I think you were about to do something spontaneous.

Sounds about right.