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1
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[ominous music]
2
00:00:05,048 --> 00:00:07,485
Lana: So, again,
I just want it on record
3
00:00:07,529 --> 00:00:10,097
I'm 100% against this.
4
00:00:10,140 --> 00:00:12,838
Pam: Aw, you're 100%
against everything cool.
5
00:00:12,882 --> 00:00:14,623
Lana: No, I'm not.
Shut up.
6
00:00:14,666 --> 00:00:17,321
Like what?
Pam: Um, Ranch Tub.
7
00:00:17,365 --> 00:00:18,888
Lana: Oh, for the--
Krieger: Come on, man.
8
00:00:18,931 --> 00:00:20,672
Cheryl: Everybody
was against Ranch Tub!
9
00:00:20,716 --> 00:00:22,979
- Seriously, Pam, quit trying
to make Ranch Tub happen.
10
00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:25,112
Malory: Do I even want to know what that is?
11
00:00:25,155 --> 00:00:27,288
- Only if you neverwant to eat ranch again.
12
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Malory: I meant ranch.
Lana: What?
13
00:00:29,377 --> 00:00:30,682
Malory: That's a food?
Lana: It's not important.
14
00:00:30,726 --> 00:00:32,119
- I wouldn't go that far.
- Can we please--
15
00:00:32,162 --> 00:00:33,946
- Cyril, shut up.
Lana: Seriously.
16
00:00:33,990 --> 00:00:35,687
Come on, if we're gonna
do this, let's do it already.
17
00:00:35,731 --> 00:00:37,341
We're sitting ducks
with you two out there.
18
00:00:37,385 --> 00:00:39,822
- Well, whose fault is that?
Lana: What? Yours!
19
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You made us stop on the way
to Earth for the damn thing.
20
00:00:41,780 --> 00:00:44,392
- Exactly, and everybody
remember that
21
00:00:44,435 --> 00:00:46,263
when it's time to
divvy it up.
22
00:00:46,307 --> 00:00:47,656
Malory: Do you think
it's worth anything?
23
00:00:47,699 --> 00:00:50,528
- Hmm, hard to say.
24
00:00:50,572 --> 00:00:52,008
[blooping]
25
00:00:52,052 --> 00:00:53,357
I've never seen anything
like it.
26
00:00:53,401 --> 00:00:54,967
- So you just jam itwith my new pen?
27
00:00:55,011 --> 00:00:56,839
- This is new,
this pen right here?
28
00:00:56,882 --> 00:00:58,841
- Yes, as a matter--[scoffs]
29
00:00:58,884 --> 00:01:00,103
You know...
Cheryl: Ooh.
30
00:01:00,147 --> 00:01:01,235
Maybe it's ambergris.
31
00:01:01,278 --> 00:01:02,888
- How could it be ambergris?
32
00:01:02,932 --> 00:01:04,847
Cheryl:
If a whale puked it up, duh.
33
00:01:04,890 --> 00:01:06,414
- Oh, a space whale?
34
00:01:06,457 --> 00:01:08,329
Cheryl: I don't know
all the types of whale!
35
00:01:08,372 --> 00:01:10,418
- And yet somehow you know
about ambergr--
36
00:01:10,461 --> 00:01:12,072
Pam: Oh, maybe its mithril!
37
00:01:12,115 --> 00:01:13,290
Malory:
Is that some other food?
38
00:01:13,334 --> 00:01:15,249
- No!
And it's not mithril.
39
00:01:15,292 --> 00:01:16,728
Pam: Just checking.
40
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Lana:
Whatever the hell it is,
41
00:01:17,860 --> 00:01:18,904
just box it up
42
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and let's go already!
43
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- All right!
Jesus!
44
00:01:21,342 --> 00:01:22,908
So what do you think, Cyril?
45
00:01:22,952 --> 00:01:24,649
- [sighs]About what?
46
00:01:24,693 --> 00:01:27,435
- Is it firm enough
to shove in the box?
47
00:01:28,523 --> 00:01:31,091
[chuckles]
Nobody?
48
00:01:31,134 --> 00:01:32,657
Pam:
What, like "space phrasing"?
49
00:01:32,701 --> 00:01:35,312
- [sighs]
No. Never mind.
50
00:01:37,401 --> 00:01:40,361
[main title theme]
51
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♪
52
00:02:15,483 --> 00:02:16,310
[Geiger counter crackling]
53
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- And radiation levels are...
54
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normal...
across the spectrum.
55
00:02:21,402 --> 00:02:24,361
- Well, keep testing.Radiation's just one danger.
56
00:02:24,405 --> 00:02:26,189
That thing could be carryingdeadly bacteria
57
00:02:26,233 --> 00:02:27,712
or some kind of virus.
- First of all--
58
00:02:27,756 --> 00:02:30,019
- Bacteria and virus
are the same thing, dummy.
59
00:02:30,062 --> 00:02:31,281
- No, they're not.
- Shut up.
60
00:02:31,325 --> 00:02:32,935
Krieger?
- They are not.
61
00:02:32,978 --> 00:02:34,763
- Oh, well,
what am I thinking of?
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00:02:34,806 --> 00:02:36,678
- Space whores,presumably.
63
00:02:36,721 --> 00:02:38,375
- Well, right then, I was,
but--
64
00:02:38,419 --> 00:02:40,203
- Hey, nobody gets out of thereuntil I'm sure
65
00:02:40,247 --> 00:02:41,770
that thing's not a hazard
to the ship,
66
00:02:41,813 --> 00:02:43,337
so the longer you dick around,
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00:02:43,380 --> 00:02:45,208
the longer you're gonna stay
in quarantine.
68
00:02:45,252 --> 00:02:47,471
Any questions?
- What the--
69
00:02:47,515 --> 00:02:48,777
Pam: Yeah, are you doinks
done yet?
70
00:02:48,820 --> 00:02:50,909
'Cause I wanna checkthat crazy thing out.
71
00:02:50,953 --> 00:02:52,476
- Pam!
- What?
72
00:02:52,520 --> 00:02:54,261
- You just broke quarantine,
dumbass.
73
00:02:54,304 --> 00:02:55,784
So if there's anything
deadly on it,
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00:02:55,827 --> 00:02:57,655
now the entire ship's infected.
75
00:02:57,699 --> 00:02:59,744
- Yeah,
but you wouldn't have been.
76
00:02:59,788 --> 00:03:01,398
- What?
- Helmet, genius.
77
00:03:01,442 --> 00:03:03,226
- [sighs]
God damn it.
78
00:03:03,270 --> 00:03:05,359
[warbling]
79
00:03:05,402 --> 00:03:07,448
- I'm gonna call him Cubert!
80
00:03:08,884 --> 00:03:11,582
Krieger:
Okay, that was the last test.
81
00:03:11,626 --> 00:03:14,150
And I can confidently say
that the object poses
82
00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:16,283
no nuclear, chemical,
or biological threat
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00:03:16,326 --> 00:03:17,545
to the ship or crew.
84
00:03:17,588 --> 00:03:19,024
- [sighs]Not that we could've
85
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done anything about itif it did,
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thanks to Pam.
87
00:03:21,418 --> 00:03:22,419
- You are welcome.
88
00:03:22,463 --> 00:03:24,073
- Hey, can we take a second?
89
00:03:24,116 --> 00:03:25,857
Isn't it crazy that
that little scanner
90
00:03:25,901 --> 00:03:28,382
can do all those
wildly different tests?
91
00:03:28,425 --> 00:03:31,385
I mean, come on.
- Yeah, pretty great.
92
00:03:31,428 --> 00:03:34,301
- Yes, hooray for everything.
Now, what's it worth?
93
00:03:34,344 --> 00:03:36,041
- Well, that, I can't say.
94
00:03:36,085 --> 00:03:37,260
I don't even know
what elements it's made of...
95
00:03:37,304 --> 00:03:39,393
[laughs] Assuming
they're even known to us.
96
00:03:39,436 --> 00:03:41,046
I'll have to do
many more tests to--
97
00:03:41,090 --> 00:03:42,744
- Ooh, here's a test.
98
00:03:42,787 --> 00:03:44,398
Cut the damn thing open and--
99
00:03:44,441 --> 00:03:46,008
[all gasp]
Krieger: Whoa, hey!
100
00:03:46,051 --> 00:03:48,053
- Cool!
- Holy shit! It's magnetic!
101
00:03:48,097 --> 00:03:49,707
- No, I don't think so.
102
00:03:49,751 --> 00:03:51,666
There's metal all overthe place in here, so--
103
00:03:51,709 --> 00:03:53,537
- Oh, my God!
Our fillings!
104
00:03:53,581 --> 00:03:55,496
- What are you talking about?
- [groans]
105
00:03:55,539 --> 00:03:57,541
- A, fillings are nonferrous,
so--
106
00:03:57,585 --> 00:03:59,326
- [muffled yelling]
107
00:04:00,588 --> 00:04:04,374
- So--
- [muffled yelling]
108
00:04:04,418 --> 00:04:05,897
- So even if it were magnetic--
109
00:04:05,941 --> 00:04:07,986
- It's not gonna eatyour damn fillings.
110
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- [muffled muttering]
111
00:04:14,297 --> 00:04:16,560
- But I don't thinkit is a magnet.
112
00:04:16,604 --> 00:04:19,128
See?
- Well, then how...
113
00:04:19,171 --> 00:04:21,913
- Okay, um,pick up another scalpel.
114
00:04:22,784 --> 00:04:24,394
- And?
- Huh.
115
00:04:24,438 --> 00:04:25,830
Well, I had a theory--
116
00:04:25,874 --> 00:04:27,876
- [muttering mockingly]
117
00:04:27,919 --> 00:04:29,573
- Damn it, woman!If you don't--
118
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Ah!
Lana: Oh, shit.
119
00:04:31,401 --> 00:04:32,576
Krieger: [clears throat]
120
00:04:32,620 --> 00:04:34,230
That it was reactingto a weapon.
121
00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:36,406
- [gasps] Then let's kill it!
Kill it!
122
00:04:36,450 --> 00:04:37,668
Kill it before--
[screams]
123
00:04:37,712 --> 00:04:38,800
Lana: Whoa!
Krieger: Aah!
124
00:04:38,843 --> 00:04:40,280
- Oh, shit.
- Uh...
125
00:04:40,323 --> 00:04:42,543
- Hmm, or maybejust aggression.
126
00:04:42,586 --> 00:04:43,587
- What?
- Huh.
127
00:04:43,631 --> 00:04:44,588
- Come on, you're saying
128
00:04:44,632 --> 00:04:45,502
it can read our emotions?
129
00:04:45,546 --> 00:04:47,461
- I'm not sayinganything...yet.
130
00:04:47,504 --> 00:04:49,201
[thudding]
131
00:04:49,245 --> 00:04:50,942
- How 'bout now?
- Oh, no.
132
00:04:50,986 --> 00:04:54,381
Sorry, need to do a whole bigseries of tests before I can...
133
00:04:54,424 --> 00:04:55,947
[thudding]
134
00:04:56,948 --> 00:05:00,517
- Huh, still interrupting.
- Typical.
135
00:05:00,561 --> 00:05:03,128
- But we shouldprobably...uh...
136
00:05:03,172 --> 00:05:05,435
- Carol, come on.
Let's get out of there.
137
00:05:05,479 --> 00:05:06,654
[grunts]
138
00:05:06,697 --> 00:05:10,048
Wow, that's--
[groaning]
139
00:05:10,092 --> 00:05:11,963
Somebody give me a hand here.
- I can help.
140
00:05:12,007 --> 00:05:13,965
- Somebody strong.
- [sighs]
141
00:05:14,009 --> 00:05:17,752
- Ready?
[both groaning]
142
00:05:17,795 --> 00:05:20,798
- I mean--I mean,
that's crazy, right?
143
00:05:20,842 --> 00:05:23,410
All right, Jesus.
I'm doing it.
144
00:05:23,453 --> 00:05:25,455
Okay, Pam, you're up.
- Mm-kay.
145
00:05:25,499 --> 00:05:27,805
One, two, three, go.
146
00:05:27,849 --> 00:05:29,677
[all groaning]
147
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Son of a--
148
00:05:30,765 --> 00:05:34,551
Go!
[all groaning]
149
00:05:34,595 --> 00:05:36,510
[all panting]
150
00:05:36,553 --> 00:05:38,033
I just thought of something.
151
00:05:38,076 --> 00:05:40,340
- Oh, my God,
if you say "Ranch Tub"...
152
00:05:40,383 --> 00:05:41,428
- No, shut up.
153
00:05:41,471 --> 00:05:43,734
Look, I can bench, like,
500 kilos,
154
00:05:43,778 --> 00:05:46,433
so I can keep pulling
on her, but...
155
00:05:46,476 --> 00:05:47,695
- Eventuallysomething's gotta give.
156
00:05:47,738 --> 00:05:50,567
- Like her birdy
little neck bones.
157
00:05:50,611 --> 00:05:52,221
Because whatever
this thing is,
158
00:05:52,264 --> 00:05:54,397
I mean, it's obviously
supernatural.
159
00:05:54,441 --> 00:05:56,138
- Well, since when
is it supernatural?
160
00:05:56,181 --> 00:05:57,879
- Well, it's not a magnet.
- Oh, come on.
161
00:05:57,922 --> 00:06:00,185
- So those are
our only two options,
162
00:06:00,229 --> 00:06:01,970
ghosts or magnets?
163
00:06:02,013 --> 00:06:03,537
[thudding]
164
00:06:03,580 --> 00:06:04,494
- I mean...
- Oh, come on.
165
00:06:04,538 --> 00:06:06,191
This is just some bullshitof yours
166
00:06:06,235 --> 00:06:07,584
to put off going back to Earth.
167
00:06:07,628 --> 00:06:09,151
- [laughs]
What?
168
00:06:09,194 --> 00:06:11,022
So, what, Lana,
I conjured up
169
00:06:11,066 --> 00:06:13,634
some kind of...
telepathic ghost cube?
170
00:06:13,677 --> 00:06:16,463
- I didn't say youconjured it up, dickwrap.
171
00:06:16,506 --> 00:06:18,029
I said that...
172
00:06:18,073 --> 00:06:19,988
[eerie tone]
173
00:06:20,031 --> 00:06:21,903
- Huh.
- [sighs]
174
00:06:21,946 --> 00:06:22,947
[foot thuds]
175
00:06:22,991 --> 00:06:24,819
Well, I hope you're all...
176
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[body thuds]
- Jeezy Petes.
177
00:06:26,995 --> 00:06:28,953
- Happy.
- Is she breathing?
178
00:06:28,997 --> 00:06:31,216
- No.
- So she's...
179
00:06:31,260 --> 00:06:32,696
- I mean...
- Oh!
180
00:06:32,740 --> 00:06:35,177
If only we had access
to some sort of device
181
00:06:35,220 --> 00:06:36,744
which could tell us!
182
00:06:37,571 --> 00:06:39,355
Krieger!
- What's that?
183
00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:41,792
Oh, right, the scanner!
Doy.
184
00:06:41,836 --> 00:06:43,577
Hang on, let me reset it for...
185
00:06:43,620 --> 00:06:44,578
- [gasps]
186
00:06:44,621 --> 00:06:46,362
[all shout]
187
00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:48,669
- Are you okay?
- [coughing]
188
00:06:48,712 --> 00:06:50,453
I think so.
- What was it like?
189
00:06:50,497 --> 00:06:52,455
What did you see?
- I don't know. It...
190
00:06:52,499 --> 00:06:54,065
I can't explain it.
191
00:06:54,109 --> 00:06:55,545
[gasps]
Oh, my God!
192
00:06:55,589 --> 00:06:57,155
- What?
- I just remembered.
193
00:06:57,199 --> 00:06:59,767
- Remembered what?
- I don't even have fillings.
194
00:06:59,810 --> 00:07:02,204
[laughs]
195
00:07:02,247 --> 00:07:05,207
[eerie tone]
196
00:07:05,250 --> 00:07:08,863
♪
197
00:07:11,256 --> 00:07:12,562
[dramatic music]
198
00:07:12,606 --> 00:07:14,477
Pam: So that whole time
you're in there,
199
00:07:14,521 --> 00:07:16,523
you didn't see anything?
200
00:07:16,566 --> 00:07:19,047
- [mouth full] No, I mean,
it's hard to explain.
201
00:07:19,090 --> 00:07:21,919
It was kind of like I was
nothing...
202
00:07:21,963 --> 00:07:23,181
and everything.
203
00:07:23,225 --> 00:07:24,444
If that makes any sense.
204
00:07:24,487 --> 00:07:25,662
- About as muchas what normally
205
00:07:25,706 --> 00:07:27,098
comes out of your mouth.
206
00:07:27,142 --> 00:07:29,884
- And speaking of your mouth...
207
00:07:29,927 --> 00:07:31,494
- What about it?
208
00:07:31,538 --> 00:07:32,756
- You're really
packing it away there.
209
00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:34,497
- Um, I'm hungry.
Sue me.
210
00:07:34,541 --> 00:07:35,890
- I will if it turns out
you ate
211
00:07:35,933 --> 00:07:37,761
all the priceless filling
out of that cube.
212
00:07:37,805 --> 00:07:41,330
- Oh, my God.
[muffled muttering]
213
00:07:41,373 --> 00:07:44,289
- What?
- [muffled mumbling]
214
00:07:44,333 --> 00:07:45,639
- [sighs]Pointless.
215
00:07:45,682 --> 00:07:46,683
- You really think
it's worth something?
216
00:07:46,727 --> 00:07:47,684
- It's gotta be,
217
00:07:47,728 --> 00:07:49,251
I mean, to somebody.
218
00:07:49,294 --> 00:07:51,253
- And whom might
that somebody be?
219
00:07:51,296 --> 00:07:53,690
- Well, obviously we need
to do some market research,
220
00:07:53,734 --> 00:07:55,605
but it's--
- It's gone.
221
00:07:55,649 --> 00:07:56,693
- What?
- Wait, what?
222
00:07:56,737 --> 00:07:58,826
- Gone?
- [choking]
223
00:07:58,869 --> 00:08:01,568
- What are you doing?
- What's the matter?
224
00:08:01,611 --> 00:08:03,483
Hey, the food ain't
that bad, baby.
225
00:08:03,526 --> 00:08:06,355
- [coughing and retching]
226
00:08:06,398 --> 00:08:08,052
- What's wrong?Are you choking?
227
00:08:08,096 --> 00:08:10,794
- Typical.Cyril: W-w-w-what's the matter?
228
00:08:10,838 --> 00:08:13,362
- This is serious.
- Get a spoon in her!
229
00:08:13,405 --> 00:08:14,624
- Space phrasing!
[clears throat]
230
00:08:14,668 --> 00:08:17,061
No.
- Plus, that's a collectible!
231
00:08:17,105 --> 00:08:19,847
- [coughing]
- Get that spoon in her!
232
00:08:19,890 --> 00:08:22,806
- I'm trying.
- [retching]
233
00:08:22,850 --> 00:08:27,594
[guttural howling]
234
00:08:27,637 --> 00:08:28,638
[coughs]
[food squelches]
235
00:08:28,682 --> 00:08:29,639
Cyril: Oh, God.
Malory: Ugh!
236
00:08:29,683 --> 00:08:30,727
Krieger: Gross.
237
00:08:30,771 --> 00:08:32,686
- What the shit with the spoon?
238
00:08:32,729 --> 00:08:33,730
- I--
- We thought you were--
239
00:08:33,774 --> 00:08:34,992
- What, "She's choking,so let's shove
240
00:08:35,036 --> 00:08:36,603
a goddamn spoondown her throat"?
241
00:08:36,646 --> 00:08:38,692
- Yeah, Cyril.
- Hey, you know what?
242
00:08:38,735 --> 00:08:39,910
- I know the stupid cube
is gone.
243
00:08:39,954 --> 00:08:41,564
all: Yeah.
- Yeah, what happened?
244
00:08:41,608 --> 00:08:43,523
- Yeah, what the shit, Krieger?
245
00:08:43,566 --> 00:08:46,656
- It was right here on--well,
six inches above the table.
246
00:08:46,700 --> 00:08:49,529
I needed some more
sterilizing wipes, so I--
247
00:08:49,572 --> 00:08:50,965
- Why would you need
sterilizing wipes?
248
00:08:51,008 --> 00:08:53,402
- I...
- Oh, Krieger, buddy.
249
00:08:53,445 --> 00:08:54,621
Please tell me you didn't try
250
00:08:54,664 --> 00:08:55,709
to have sexwith the ghost cube.
251
00:08:55,752 --> 00:08:57,188
- Krieger!
- That's nasty, Krieger!
252
00:08:57,232 --> 00:08:58,625
Cheryl: Ew!
- No, of course I didn't.
253
00:08:58,668 --> 00:09:00,191
- We can check
the security footage.
254
00:09:00,235 --> 00:09:02,063
- There isn't any.
The camera was off.
255
00:09:02,106 --> 00:09:03,412
- Oh, how convenient.
256
00:09:03,455 --> 00:09:04,674
- I did not have sex
with the cube.
257
00:09:04,718 --> 00:09:07,198
- Because first of all,
with what?
258
00:09:07,242 --> 00:09:08,765
- Oh, okay, okay.
259
00:09:08,809 --> 00:09:11,333
You wanna make your stupid
little Ken Doll jokes?
260
00:09:11,376 --> 00:09:12,769
- Would they be warranted?
261
00:09:12,813 --> 00:09:14,118
- I--
- Focus, people.
262
00:09:14,162 --> 00:09:15,293
There's
a million credits' worth
263
00:09:15,337 --> 00:09:16,730
of ghost cube missing.
264
00:09:16,773 --> 00:09:18,645
[chuckles]
What happened, Ken?
265
00:09:18,688 --> 00:09:20,951
- [sighs annoyedly]
As I was saying...
266
00:09:20,995 --> 00:09:22,692
I needed
more sterilizing wipes.
267
00:09:22,736 --> 00:09:25,303
I need more sterilizing wipes.
[scatting]
268
00:09:25,347 --> 00:09:28,176
So I walked out the door, and after it closed behind me,
269
00:09:28,219 --> 00:09:30,004
I keyed in
the alphanumeric code
270
00:09:30,047 --> 00:09:31,005
to lock it.
271
00:09:31,048 --> 00:09:35,618
[keypad beeping]
272
00:09:35,662 --> 00:09:37,315
I walked down
to the supply room,
273
00:09:37,359 --> 00:09:39,535
got the wipes,
and walked back.
274
00:09:39,579 --> 00:09:42,886
I keyed in the code to unlock
the aforementioned door.
275
00:09:42,930 --> 00:09:47,630
[keypad beeping]
276
00:09:47,674 --> 00:09:49,023
[door clangs opens]
277
00:09:49,066 --> 00:09:50,241
I walked in...
278
00:09:50,285 --> 00:09:51,242
What the--
279
00:09:51,286 --> 00:09:52,809
The cube was gone.
280
00:09:52,853 --> 00:09:55,812
So obviously
one of you took it.
281
00:09:55,856 --> 00:09:56,987
- No, we did not!
- That's bullshit.
282
00:09:57,031 --> 00:09:58,728
- Nobody took
your new girlfriend.
283
00:09:58,772 --> 00:10:01,601
- Yeah, plus, we wereall together in the mess, so--
284
00:10:01,644 --> 00:10:02,993
- So how did it leave
a locked room?
285
00:10:03,037 --> 00:10:04,691
- Plenty of ways.
286
00:10:04,734 --> 00:10:06,127
Here, hold this.
287
00:10:06,170 --> 00:10:08,433
[shimmering tone]
288
00:10:08,477 --> 00:10:10,435
All right,let's go find that thing.
289
00:10:10,479 --> 00:10:11,872
And let's all split up.
290
00:10:11,915 --> 00:10:13,830
We can cover a lot more groundthat way.
291
00:10:13,874 --> 00:10:17,834
- So individually go bumblingaround this big ole spaceship
292
00:10:17,878 --> 00:10:18,966
looking for a ghost.
293
00:10:19,009 --> 00:10:21,359
- To bumble or notis up to you,
294
00:10:21,403 --> 00:10:24,188
but whoever finds itgets to keep it.
295
00:10:24,232 --> 00:10:25,929
- Wait, what?
Malory: Findies keepies!
296
00:10:25,973 --> 00:10:26,974
- Wait a minute, what?
- Huh?
297
00:10:27,017 --> 00:10:28,279
- [laughs]
298
00:10:29,846 --> 00:10:31,848
Cyril: Out of my way!
Cheryl: No, no, no, no!
299
00:10:31,892 --> 00:10:34,416
Get out of my way! No!
[all groaning]
300
00:10:34,459 --> 00:10:35,852
- And bumble it is.
301
00:10:35,896 --> 00:10:37,767
- Get out of my way, meathead.
- I saw it first!
302
00:10:37,811 --> 00:10:39,856
[all grunt]
- Wait a minute.
303
00:10:39,900 --> 00:10:42,293
Now, look, before you all
go running off half-cocked--
304
00:10:42,337 --> 00:10:43,686
- Krieger, we don't have timeto pile on you
305
00:10:43,730 --> 00:10:45,209
with a bunch of no-dick jokes.
306
00:10:45,253 --> 00:10:46,863
- I knew it
right when I said it.
307
00:10:46,907 --> 00:10:48,256
- I call bridge!
- Well, I'm coming with you.
308
00:10:48,299 --> 00:10:49,823
Lana: No, you're not.
- Uh...
309
00:10:49,866 --> 00:10:51,302
well, then I-I get
the crew quarters.
310
00:10:51,346 --> 00:10:53,087
- You better not
go in my boudoir.
311
00:10:53,130 --> 00:10:54,741
- Okay, I call dibson the--aah!
312
00:10:54,784 --> 00:10:57,657
- Dibs on them ribs, sucka!
- Oh, holy shit.
313
00:10:57,700 --> 00:10:58,875
That really hurt.
314
00:10:58,919 --> 00:11:01,965
- Well, if you thinkthat hurt...
315
00:11:02,009 --> 00:11:03,880
[laughs hysterically]
316
00:11:03,924 --> 00:11:05,490
- That's disconcerting.
317
00:11:05,534 --> 00:11:07,841
- Yeah, ya think?
318
00:11:07,884 --> 00:11:09,277
- Yes.
319
00:11:10,234 --> 00:11:11,714
Ray:
I said no, God damn it!
320
00:11:11,758 --> 00:11:12,846
- [groaning]
321
00:11:12,889 --> 00:11:13,890
- Get out!
- Hey!
322
00:11:13,934 --> 00:11:15,065
- I won't have you
manhandling
323
00:11:15,109 --> 00:11:16,501
my beautiful things.
324
00:11:16,545 --> 00:11:17,894
- Well, how do I knowit's not in there?
325
00:11:17,938 --> 00:11:20,941
- Because we said so.
- Who's "we"?
326
00:11:20,984 --> 00:11:22,333
[gun clicks]
327
00:11:22,377 --> 00:11:24,292
[scoffs]Is that supposed to be funny?
328
00:11:24,335 --> 00:11:26,076
[menacing music]
329
00:11:26,120 --> 00:11:27,687
[gun zaps]
Cyril: [yells]
330
00:11:27,730 --> 00:11:29,906
- [chuckles]
Hope it was his dick.
331
00:11:29,950 --> 00:11:31,908
Cyril: Right in the foot!
- Eh.
332
00:11:33,301 --> 00:11:34,737
Lana: Any luck?
- No, Lana.
333
00:11:34,781 --> 00:11:37,784
And this is my area, so...
334
00:11:37,827 --> 00:11:39,350
[eerie music]
- So...
335
00:11:39,394 --> 00:11:42,919
- So--so talk
about space whores, huh?
336
00:11:42,963 --> 00:11:45,356
- Excuse me?
- I, um...
337
00:11:45,400 --> 00:11:48,142
Uh, nothing.
Uh, ne--never mind.
338
00:11:48,185 --> 00:11:50,013
- I'll never your mind.
339
00:11:50,057 --> 00:11:51,362
- Um, airball.
340
00:11:51,406 --> 00:11:53,495
Lana: I'll...air your balls.
341
00:11:53,538 --> 00:11:55,018
- [chuckles]
Yeah, yeah, you will.
342
00:11:55,062 --> 00:11:56,803
Lana: God damn it!
343
00:11:56,846 --> 00:11:58,500
- [sighs] Holy shit,
I think I'm seeing things.
344
00:11:58,543 --> 00:12:00,328
I maybe need to get
some sleep, huh?
345
00:12:00,371 --> 00:12:03,418
[chuckles]Or at least my balls aired out.
346
00:12:03,461 --> 00:12:04,941
- Yeah, right?
- [screams]
347
00:12:04,985 --> 00:12:06,769
man: Hey.
- Who the hell are you, man?
348
00:12:06,813 --> 00:12:09,729
man: What are you--
I'm TV's Michael Gray.
349
00:12:09,772 --> 00:12:11,600
- TV's Michael Gray who?
350
00:12:11,643 --> 00:12:14,995
Michael: Uh, TV's Michael Gray
says quit being a dick
351
00:12:15,038 --> 00:12:16,387
and open the door?
352
00:12:16,431 --> 00:12:18,085
Seriously, quit being a dick.
353
00:12:18,128 --> 00:12:21,131
- Okay, um, h-hang on.
354
00:12:21,175 --> 00:12:22,829
Okay, on three.Ready?
355
00:12:22,872 --> 00:12:24,004
Michael:
Can we not do it on one?
356
00:12:24,047 --> 00:12:25,832
- Shut up, okay.
357
00:12:25,875 --> 00:12:27,007
One...
358
00:12:27,050 --> 00:12:27,790
two!
359
00:12:29,009 --> 00:12:30,967
[chilling music]
360
00:12:31,011 --> 00:12:33,361
[gulps]
Disconcerting.
361
00:12:37,278 --> 00:12:38,235
- [whispering] Michael.
362
00:12:38,279 --> 00:12:39,933
TV's Michael Gray.
363
00:12:39,976 --> 00:12:41,543
Mikey-Mike, where are you?
364
00:12:41,586 --> 00:12:43,023
Pam:
Who the hell's Mikey-Mike?
365
00:12:43,066 --> 00:12:45,155
- Exactly, that's what I'm--
[screams]
366
00:12:45,199 --> 00:12:46,809
- 'Cause you think he'd like
some of this?
367
00:12:46,853 --> 00:12:48,724
[grunting]
368
00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:49,856
- What? No.
369
00:12:49,899 --> 00:12:51,814
Stop that.
What--what are you doing?
370
00:12:51,858 --> 00:12:54,077
- [munching]
371
00:12:54,121 --> 00:12:55,949
[mouth full]
I'm hungry. Sue me.
372
00:12:55,992 --> 00:12:57,254
[gulps]
373
00:12:57,298 --> 00:12:58,778
And then get up to the bridge.
374
00:12:58,821 --> 00:13:00,518
Her Lanaship has
some big announcement.
375
00:13:00,562 --> 00:13:01,911
- Whoa, what,did somebody find it?
376
00:13:01,955 --> 00:13:04,174
- [burps]
Find what?
377
00:13:04,218 --> 00:13:06,394
- [gulps]
What cube?
378
00:13:06,437 --> 00:13:08,091
- Mother, I am extremely
not in the mood,
379
00:13:08,135 --> 00:13:10,093
so seriously, where is it?
380
00:13:10,137 --> 00:13:13,836
- You mean like an ice cubeor something in a Rubik--
381
00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:15,925
- Quit dicking around already!
- Hey, whoa.
382
00:13:15,969 --> 00:13:17,448
- I'm talking about
the mysterious
383
00:13:17,492 --> 00:13:19,581
and possibly haunted
ghost cube
384
00:13:19,624 --> 00:13:21,409
that Carol got
her head stuck in.
385
00:13:21,452 --> 00:13:22,976
- I think I'd remember that.
386
00:13:23,019 --> 00:13:24,978
- And I'd be the first one
to believe
387
00:13:25,021 --> 00:13:26,718
she got her head
stuck in something.
388
00:13:26,762 --> 00:13:28,111
- Thank you.
389
00:13:28,155 --> 00:13:29,852
- But you are just
sounding insane.
390
00:13:29,896 --> 00:13:32,115
- You sound insane!
All of you!
391
00:13:32,159 --> 00:13:35,727
Oh, oh, and I all know
what you're trying to do.
392
00:13:35,771 --> 00:13:36,903
- You wanna
393
00:13:36,946 --> 00:13:39,427
maybe walk usthrough that?
394
00:13:39,470 --> 00:13:40,820
- [chuckles]Oh, my God.
395
00:13:40,863 --> 00:13:43,039
I know somebodyfound the cube
396
00:13:43,083 --> 00:13:44,432
and that it'sfindies keepies.
397
00:13:44,475 --> 00:13:46,042
- You mean finders keepers.
398
00:13:46,086 --> 00:13:48,001
- But don't stand thereand lie to me.
399
00:13:48,044 --> 00:13:49,698
- Nobody's--
- Plus, you dressing
400
00:13:49,741 --> 00:13:51,569
like a whore?
- Excuse me?
401
00:13:51,613 --> 00:13:54,007
- And how is Cyril's foot okay?- Uh, what, now?
402
00:13:54,050 --> 00:13:55,660
- You got shot in the foot,
asshole.
403
00:13:55,704 --> 00:13:58,402
And, oh, my God,
TV's Michael Gray?
404
00:13:58,446 --> 00:13:59,490
- TV's Michael who?
- Huh?
405
00:13:59,534 --> 00:14:00,970
- All right.
406
00:14:01,014 --> 00:14:03,146
I don't know if you got
in the meds locker
407
00:14:03,190 --> 00:14:07,020
or if this is just the onset
of tertiary syphilis, but--
408
00:14:07,063 --> 00:14:08,630
- He better not have syphilis.
409
00:14:08,673 --> 00:14:10,327
- Why had he better not
have syphilis?
410
00:14:10,371 --> 00:14:13,374
- I--wh--because syphilisis bad, dude.
411
00:14:13,417 --> 00:14:15,028
- Listen to me, God damn it!
[glass shatters]
412
00:14:15,071 --> 00:14:16,377
- Oh!
- Easy!
413
00:14:16,420 --> 00:14:17,378
- Whoa, whoa, whoa,whoa, whoa, man.
414
00:14:17,421 --> 00:14:19,119
- And speaking of meds,
415
00:14:19,162 --> 00:14:23,123
don't you think you could use
a bit of a...relaxer?
416
00:14:23,166 --> 00:14:24,907
- No!
- Oh, now...
417
00:14:24,951 --> 00:14:27,910
Krieger, don't you havesomething to take the edge off?
418
00:14:27,954 --> 00:14:29,564
- As a matter of fact...
419
00:14:29,607 --> 00:14:31,261
- You and your pills
keep away from me, you--
420
00:14:31,305 --> 00:14:33,002
you dickless fish!
[gun clicks]
421
00:14:33,046 --> 00:14:34,047
- Wha--
Ray: He's got a gun!
422
00:14:34,090 --> 00:14:35,396
- Sterling!
423
00:14:35,439 --> 00:14:37,528
Sterling, look at me.
424
00:14:37,572 --> 00:14:39,139
Now, I don't knowwhat's wrong,
425
00:14:39,182 --> 00:14:43,099
but I promise you,whatever it is, we'll fix it.
426
00:14:43,143 --> 00:14:44,709
But first you have to trust us.
427
00:14:44,753 --> 00:14:46,407
- Oh, no.
- Suit yourself.
428
00:14:46,450 --> 00:14:48,061
Krieger?
Krieger: Yep, yep, yep!
429
00:14:48,104 --> 00:14:49,062
Archer: No, no, no, no--
[dart thwacks]
430
00:14:49,105 --> 00:14:50,628
[groans]
431
00:14:50,672 --> 00:14:52,674
[moans]
432
00:14:52,717 --> 00:14:54,241
You dick.
[gunshot]
433
00:14:54,284 --> 00:14:55,242
- Jesus!
- [screams]
434
00:14:55,285 --> 00:14:56,765
[Cyril wails painfully]
435
00:14:56,808 --> 00:14:58,375
- [chuckles weakly]
436
00:14:58,419 --> 00:14:59,681
[body thuds]
437
00:14:59,724 --> 00:15:02,162
- [sighs] All right.
438
00:15:02,205 --> 00:15:04,077
Krieger, take him down
to the med lab
439
00:15:04,120 --> 00:15:07,123
and try to find out what inthe hell's the matter with him.
440
00:15:07,167 --> 00:15:08,995
Cyril [whining]:
Him? What about me?
441
00:15:09,038 --> 00:15:10,648
- We know
what's wrong with you.
442
00:15:10,692 --> 00:15:12,520
- Yeah, foot hole.
443
00:15:12,563 --> 00:15:14,087
Malory: Well?
444
00:15:14,130 --> 00:15:15,305
Krieger: Well, it's really
kind of weird.
445
00:15:15,349 --> 00:15:17,177
Lana: Uh, no shit.
446
00:15:17,220 --> 00:15:18,743
Krieger: The scanner
shows normal vitals
447
00:15:18,787 --> 00:15:20,093
and doesn't show anything
448
00:15:20,136 --> 00:15:22,269
physicallyor neurologically unusual.
449
00:15:22,312 --> 00:15:24,140
No drugs in his systemand...
450
00:15:24,184 --> 00:15:27,143
just what I assume isa therapeutic level of bourbon.
451
00:15:27,187 --> 00:15:29,580
- And...no syphilis?
452
00:15:29,624 --> 00:15:31,974
- No venereal diseaseof any kind.
453
00:15:32,018 --> 00:15:33,323
Or judgment, by the way.
454
00:15:33,367 --> 00:15:34,977
- Don't care.
- Eh.
455
00:15:35,021 --> 00:15:37,110
- How does that thing
know all that?
456
00:15:37,153 --> 00:15:38,676
- I know. Pretty great.
457
00:15:38,720 --> 00:15:40,852
- All right, keep scanning
or whatever,
458
00:15:40,896 --> 00:15:42,202
and keep him down here
459
00:15:42,245 --> 00:15:44,117
until you find out
what's wrong with him.
460
00:15:44,160 --> 00:15:46,206
[ice cubes rattle]
My therapeutic levels are low.
461
00:15:46,249 --> 00:15:48,556
- And I could actually usesome sterilizing wipes.
462
00:15:48,599 --> 00:15:50,558
- I'll bet.Keep an eye on him?
463
00:15:50,601 --> 00:15:52,299
- Mm-hmm.
464
00:15:52,342 --> 00:15:54,257
[keypad beeping]
465
00:15:54,301 --> 00:15:56,999
[lock clicks]
Uh...hello?
466
00:15:57,043 --> 00:16:00,307
Is there a reason you locked
the door from the outside?
467
00:16:00,350 --> 00:16:02,787
Krieger? Hello?
468
00:16:02,831 --> 00:16:04,659
[sighs annoyedly]
Super.
469
00:16:04,702 --> 00:16:06,226
Archer: Is it?
- Oh!
470
00:16:06,269 --> 00:16:07,618
Jesus Christ, Archer!
471
00:16:07,662 --> 00:16:09,577
What are you doing?You scared the shit out of me!
472
00:16:09,620 --> 00:16:10,578
- Oh, I'm sorry.
473
00:16:10,621 --> 00:16:11,579
Pam: Well...
474
00:16:11,622 --> 00:16:13,276
what'd ya expect, nerfnuts?
475
00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:15,017
It's alcohol.It's gonna hurt.
476
00:16:15,061 --> 00:16:16,366
- Well, if you think
that hurt...
477
00:16:16,410 --> 00:16:18,281
- Yes! Yes, I do
think it hurt!
478
00:16:18,325 --> 00:16:20,414
- You'd better not
be wasting that.
479
00:16:20,457 --> 00:16:23,634
- Um, guess it kind of dependson how you mean.
480
00:16:23,678 --> 00:16:25,462
- I mean, we've really
only got
481
00:16:25,506 --> 00:16:27,203
two options here, Lana.
482
00:16:27,247 --> 00:16:30,250
One is that this is all
some sort of ruse,
483
00:16:30,293 --> 00:16:32,817
and the other
is that I'm crazy.
484
00:16:32,861 --> 00:16:35,037
- You're kind of acting crazy.
485
00:16:35,081 --> 00:16:37,170
- I don't think
I'm acting crazy.
486
00:16:37,213 --> 00:16:39,476
- That's kind ofone of the symptoms.
487
00:16:39,520 --> 00:16:42,001
- Ah, the old catch-21.
488
00:16:42,044 --> 00:16:45,961
- [chuckles nervously]21, 22, whatever it takes.
489
00:16:46,005 --> 00:16:47,441
[hair rips]
Ow! Shit!
490
00:16:47,484 --> 00:16:50,009
Jesus Christ, you arecrazy!
491
00:16:50,052 --> 00:16:52,315
- Yeah?
Would a crazy person do this?
492
00:16:52,359 --> 00:16:54,404
- No, no, no, no, wait!
- [grunts]
493
00:16:54,448 --> 00:16:56,232
- Oof.
[weakly] Yes.
494
00:16:56,276 --> 00:16:58,234
[static crackling]
495
00:16:58,278 --> 00:17:00,367
- [roars]
- [groans]
496
00:17:00,410 --> 00:17:02,282
- [roars]
- [grunts]
497
00:17:02,325 --> 00:17:04,806
[menacing music]
498
00:17:04,849 --> 00:17:06,808
[groaning]
499
00:17:06,851 --> 00:17:10,072
- [scatting]
500
00:17:10,116 --> 00:17:11,639
[keypad beeping]
501
00:17:11,682 --> 00:17:12,857
Lana: No, no, no, no, no, no!
502
00:17:12,901 --> 00:17:14,163
- Hey, what the--
503
00:17:14,207 --> 00:17:16,165
- [muffled screaming]
- [gasps]
504
00:17:16,209 --> 00:17:18,167
[alarm blaring]
female voice: Emergency.
505
00:17:18,211 --> 00:17:19,255
Med lab.
506
00:17:19,299 --> 00:17:20,822
- What emergency?
507
00:17:20,865 --> 00:17:22,128
- Well, it has been
almost a minute
508
00:17:22,171 --> 00:17:23,477
since Archer got
some attention.
509
00:17:23,520 --> 00:17:25,261
- You're just a mess.
510
00:17:25,305 --> 00:17:26,393
- Holy shit! Look!
511
00:17:26,436 --> 00:17:29,135
- Oh, my God! Come on!
512
00:17:29,178 --> 00:17:31,354
- Come on, come on,
come on, come on!
513
00:17:31,398 --> 00:17:32,355
[negative beep]
514
00:17:32,399 --> 00:17:33,661
Argh!
515
00:17:33,704 --> 00:17:37,447
- [grunting]
- [muffled screaming]
516
00:17:37,491 --> 00:17:39,014
- Come on, come on,
come on, come on,
517
00:17:39,058 --> 00:17:40,059
come on, come on,
come on, come on!
518
00:17:40,102 --> 00:17:41,843
- Why the hell is it so long?
519
00:17:41,886 --> 00:17:43,497
- [coughing] Space phrasing.
- That's just how it comes!
520
00:17:43,540 --> 00:17:44,715
- [coughing] Twofer.
- Oh, my God,
521
00:17:44,759 --> 00:17:46,326
just reset it,Dr. Science!
522
00:17:46,369 --> 00:17:48,589
- [yelling] Will you shut up?
523
00:17:48,632 --> 00:17:52,114
If I mess up, I have to start
all over again!
524
00:17:52,158 --> 00:17:53,550
- [grunting]
525
00:17:53,594 --> 00:17:55,117
- Sterling, stop!
526
00:17:55,161 --> 00:17:56,466
Do you hear me?
527
00:17:56,510 --> 00:17:58,294
[static crackling]
Stop it this instant!
528
00:17:58,338 --> 00:17:59,339
- What are you doing?
529
00:17:59,382 --> 00:18:00,949
[both grunting]
530
00:18:00,992 --> 00:18:03,256
My frickin' tit!
531
00:18:03,299 --> 00:18:04,474
- [muffled screaming]
532
00:18:04,518 --> 00:18:05,562
- Sterling! [yelps]
533
00:18:05,606 --> 00:18:07,390
- A Tennessee titty twister?
534
00:18:07,434 --> 00:18:08,913
[grunts]
all: Whoa!
535
00:18:08,957 --> 00:18:11,829
- Well, how do ya likethese titties?
536
00:18:11,873 --> 00:18:13,222
[grunts]
- [yelps]
537
00:18:13,266 --> 00:18:16,399
- [panting]
Lana? Are you all right?
538
00:18:16,443 --> 00:18:17,661
- I...
539
00:18:17,705 --> 00:18:19,533
[groans] I think so.
540
00:18:19,576 --> 00:18:21,274
- Ugh, my magazine's not.
541
00:18:21,317 --> 00:18:25,234
- Shut up.
And, Pam, Gillette...
542
00:18:25,278 --> 00:18:27,454
throw his ass in the brig.
543
00:18:27,497 --> 00:18:28,455
[dramatic music]
544
00:18:28,498 --> 00:18:30,065
- [yelling] Yeah, well...
545
00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:32,415
I guess we'll see about that!
546
00:18:32,459 --> 00:18:33,851
Huh?
547
00:18:33,895 --> 00:18:36,115
Pfff.
The brig.
548
00:18:36,158 --> 00:18:37,551
Like, where do they get off?
549
00:18:37,594 --> 00:18:39,640
They're the ones running aroundchanging clothes
550
00:18:39,683 --> 00:18:41,772
and shooting people in the neckwith darts
551
00:18:41,816 --> 00:18:44,862
and...eating
perfectly good magazines.
552
00:18:44,906 --> 00:18:46,690
You know?
I mean, that's crazy.
553
00:18:46,734 --> 00:18:48,301
I mean, right?
554
00:18:49,824 --> 00:18:51,217
- Yes, sir.
- Yeah.
555
00:18:51,260 --> 00:18:53,349
Thank you.Mmm.
556
00:18:53,393 --> 00:18:55,046
God, that's good.
557
00:18:56,047 --> 00:18:59,964
Wait, are...are--are yousupposed to be here?
558
00:19:02,010 --> 00:19:03,446
- No, sir.
559
00:19:03,490 --> 00:19:07,146
- Huh.Now, that's disconcerting.
560
00:19:07,189 --> 00:19:08,364
- Yes, sir.
561
00:19:42,268 --> 00:19:45,662
- Made in Georgia.
562
00:19:55,281 --> 00:19:57,239
LANA:
And that'’s gonna help you
catch this thing how?
563
00:19:57,283 --> 00:19:58,980
ARCHER:
All of this is necessary.
564
00:19:59,023 --> 00:20:01,417
[grunts] Actually,
let'’s see where it is.
565
00:20:01,461 --> 00:20:03,419
I only have another
seven, eight steps in me.
566
00:20:03,463 --> 00:20:05,595
ANNOUNCER: Archer 1999.
567
00:20:05,639 --> 00:20:08,207
All new,
Wednesdays at 10:00 on FXX.
39336
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