Original subtitles

I'll declare it here and now.

I've never once experienced a truly fulfilling summer.

Summer is generally thought of as a season of growth for humans.

"Deal carefully with boys and girls after a summer apart," they say.

To show off your metamorphosis to classmates in a moment of glory,

one must be early to bed, early to rise, and follow a strict itinerary,

while refining your body and polishing your mind.

By my third summer of dormitory life, however, I had withered from desperation.

Summertime in Kyoto.

My 4.5 tatami room's climate changes into climate as arid as the Taklamakan Desert.

In this severe environment unfit for all organic life,

my lifestyle follows a one-way descent into chaos.

My careful plans become mere scraps of paper,

and the heat saps me of all urge to exercise or study.

In these conditions, even the Great Buddha couldn't achieve personal growth.

Alas, though my dreams perish, my 4.5 tatami room remains.

The period of ascetic training that is my college life had crossed its halfway point

and yet, I still had not enjoyed the true fruits of summer.

I had failed to build myself into a man fit to join society at large.

If I don't do something, society itself will coldly shut its gates in my face.

The tool that was to enable my rebirth

was that great achievement of civilization, the air conditioner.

However...

What?

Senpai!

What? Is something wrong?

Hey!

I see you came prepared.

I'm surprised that you're up for this.

What? Who said you could use that!

Senpai?

Are you really going to do this?

What? Do what exactly?

You know, what they talked about...

Now, then! We're ready for that dance.

-Wow! -Dance?

What dance?

A naked dance, of course!

A naked dance? Why?

It's too late to play dumb.

There's nothing lamer than backing out in the moment of truth.

We'll be your captive audience, so...

Excuse me, but I have no idea what you're talking about.

Unbelievable... You just have to use this and go like this, okay?

-Oops. -The remote!

-Hey! Move! -No!

How could you be so clumsy?

Forgive me.

What the hell

is going on?

Hey, Ozu.

You called?

Are you alive?

Don't worry about me. I'll die soon enough.

The room where I reside is in a boarding house called Shimogamo Yuusuisou.

Such a dull name might seem an ill fit for student housing,

but it supposedly stems from the fact that this used to be a swamp.

Perhaps that's why the summer sunlight

renders the entire building into a bamboo steamer.

Without an air conditioner, the discomfort level of my humble room 209

had reached its maximum index.

Man, what I wouldn't do for a mango Frappuccino.

I'm tired of these Edo-era mineral replenishment methods.

Shut up and drink.

Man, that's gross. Just disgusting.

The man drinking lukewarm barley tea like a diseased toad slurping muddy water

was Ozu, a student in the same year as me.

Tyrannical to the weak, obsequious to the strong, selfish, arrogant, contrarian...

A man without a single complimentary virtue.

Had I never met him, I'm sure my soul would be purer than it is now.

Are you the least bit sorry?

What do I have to be sorry about?

You broke the remote, you idiot!

This is a case of collective responsibility.

First, there's Akashi, who suggested that we shoot a movie here.

Then there's Jogasaki, who used the remote without permission.

Hanuki's at fault too, for leaving a half-empty bottle of cola around.

But the worst of all is you for trying to perform a naked dance here!

I still don't know what that's about!

And after you offered to be our entertainment.

Not to mention, the lack of a button on the main unit is inexplicable.

It's a total design flaw.

The nurarihyon yokai had a point.

In the first place, this air conditioner

was a legendary unit that had been installed in this room long ago.

Presumed to have been installed without permission,

it was a living relic of the room's first heroic settlers

and the envy of all current residents.

In the summer of my freshman year,

a long-time student, who had his name written on his briefs,

introduced himself as Seitaro Higuchi

and shared the rumor about room 209.

Are you aware, young one?

An air-conditioned 4.5 tatami room exists here in Shimogamo Yuusuisou.

It was as if he spoke of a magical land,

as distant as the Isle of Avalon pursued by King Arthur in his dying days.

I had no idea that just two years later, I would be given the honor

of moving to room 209.

However, despite moving from the first to the second floor,

I only enjoyed the benefits of the air conditioner for a few days.

If I'd known it would be like this, I wouldn't have moved.

The heat on the first floor was more tolerable than this.

The bearer of all responsibility is him, Ozu!

Besides, can you really achieve personal growth by relying on an air conditioner?

You'd better take life more seriously.

I'm putting maximum effort into ruining it for you, after all.

Are you enjoying this?

I'll leave it to your imagination.

This Mephistopheles leading me to damnation.

This jerk who whets his appetite on the unhappiness of others.

The least you could do is fake regret!

Regret is an emotion I do not possess.

What's wrong? Do you give in? Do you?

Stop, already! It's a temporary truce.

We have a guest, you moron!

Idiots of a feather, flock together, I suppose.

Akashi was one year our junior and a member of the Misogi Film Club...

And, action!

She churned out student films from her own unique perspective.

According to Ozu, who was also a club member,

her works get mixed receptions from other members, but...

At a rate of three films for everyone else's one,

no one could deny her professionalism.

The heat has made us lose our senses!

Don't give her the wrong idea! It's nothing, really.

For a moment, I thought I was witnessing sexual gratification.

I figured I should look away, but the door was open.

Well, it was an act of love. That's for sure.

Just forget what you saw, Akashi! I'm begging you!

Very well. I'll forget.

I've forgotten.

Akashi was making the most of her summer vacation.

She arose at 7 A.M. to greet the morning sun.

After which, she ate a nutritious breakfast

and studied for two full hours at the school library.

Then she wrote the script for her next film

and spent the evening breeze at the Shimogamo Used Book Fair.

USED BOOK FAIR

While Akashi spent her days productively,

all we managed to produce was body oil from fighting all the time.

The summer time of our lives was melting away like ice.

So you ended up spending the night here, Ozu?

We held a wake for the air conditioner until morning.

The Master even read a Heart Sutra.

Something, something, nothingness, blah, blah, blah.

When the worldly self has been eliminated, this 4.5 tatami room too

shall be like Karuizawa!

Of course, for worldly beings like us, the temperature of the room only rises.

But I was cooled by the chill of his wordless rage.

That's because you're a pervert.

That's my little-sister apprentice! You catch on fast.

Higuchi. Seitaro Higuchi from room 210. I know you're in your room.

Come pay your rent, immediately.

Is the Master still asleep?

When waking up, be an immovable mountain.

When avoiding rent, be as swift as the wind.

That's impressive.

As hard as it is to believe, both Ozu and Akashi served as apprentices

to that long-time student Higuchi

and began frequenting our complex at the end of last year.

I had no idea what Higuchi was a "master" of.

And while I prayed that Akashi didn't waste her precious youth at his expense,

I couldn't help but welcome her presence at this dump of an apartment.

By the way, Akashi. Is there a chance of fixing the remote?

I visited every electrical appliance shop, but my condolences.

No good then?

I did leave it with one of the shops, but it seems there's little hope.

Akashi, you disappoint me.

Shut up, you! For all eternity!

It's as Ozu says. I've failed.

My fate of spending the remainder of summer vacation in a 4.5 tatami furnace

appeared to be sealed.

At this rate, we really should do as the Master said

and eliminate our worldly selves. How about it?

The master already consented to making you an apprentice too.

I didn't ask for that!

It's fine. Don't hesitate.

It's fun, actually. Will you join us?

Yahoo!

Such sweet words from her lips nearly enticed me,

but I held back in the moment of truth.

I refuse to be anyone's apprentice.

Darn. Too bad.

If you'd agreed, I'd had invited you to see the Gozan no Okuribi bonfire.

But, whatever. You'll just have to watch it on KBS Kyoto.

Akashi, make sure you keep your schedule open.

No, I'm not going.

Why? What for?

I already have plans to go with someone else.

You didn't mention that yesterday! Who are you going with?

And why must I report that to you, Ozu?

What?

Seeing Ozu's stunned silence, I wanted to say, "Serves you right."

But in truth, it was secretly a gut punch for me too.

Akasahi had plans to see the Okuribi bonfire.

But with who?

Her profile remained as cool as if she were standing

in the sacred groves of Tadasu no Mori in mid-winter.

Akashi.

Yes?

Aren't you hot?

Extremely hot.

Yesterday, August 11, shooting had begun from morning for a new movie.

"A tale of cowards at the fall of the Shogunate. Samurai Wars."

That's right!

It was the fall of the Shogunate, during the Keio era.

A student named Susumu Ginga had traveled in time from the 21st century

and now wandered into the hideout of the Imperial rebels.

But he also happened to have a special talent.

Everyone who dealt with him succumbed to total laziness.

Under his influence, the men of that turbulent era lose their ambitions

and both the Shogun's men and the revolutionary groups fell apart.

Though they were soon found dancing in a circle, screaming "Why not?",

the space-time continuum collapses under the weight of massive historical change

and the entire universe is destroyed.

The end.

Are you sure this is okay?

It's great.

The screenplay already had the rich stench of a b-movie,

but unfortunately, the ridiculous story came from Ozu and myself.

These apartments aren't fit for human habitat.

The man who carried himself so haughtily among the amateur filmmakers

was the club's boss, Jogasaki.

This room smells like crap.

As the electric meter spun at heretofore unseen speed,

it became the barometer of my rage!

I don't think this is going to work.

This man of polite contempt who couldn't resist pointing out

all the flaws of the screenplay was Aijima, an upperclassman.

There are too many holes in the story.

With that attitude, you'll never make anything entertaining!

It's been bothering me for a while now, but who are you, anyway?

Just a helper passing through.

Well, no one asked for your opinion.

I also wrote the story!

Is that so?

Amateurs should leave the filmmaking to us.

With that, my rivalry with Misogi was set in stone.

From now on, I'll think only of ways to hold them back.

And in the slimiest ways possible!

While admiring Akashi's steely profile as she flitted around like a honey bee,

I swore to protect the film's lovingly trashy qualities.

I'd prefer it if you didn't move that.

It's a statue of the Kappa Lord who ruled the swamp that was once here.

We don't really want it...

If you don't treat it with care, you'll be cursed!

What?

Doesn't it kind of look like Jogasaki?

You're right.

Hey! Who turned the heat on in here?

It's hot enough as it is!

You fools... Are you trying to kill me?

And, action!

It's the dawn of a new Japan!

Indeed, indeed.

Without a doubt!

Don't come near me! People who get close to me

all lose their willpower and become losers!

-A new dawn. -Indeed.

No, don't! Stop! Please stop!

Just as every beach is covered in sand, movie sets are full of trouble.

Jogasaki wanted to change every line in the script,

Aijima constantly called for more takes,

Ozu, couldn't tolerate shooting in white makeup,

-and Higuchi... -A new dawn!

...wouldn't say anything other than that one line.

Sword fights ensued over lunch,

lighting and sound launched into a lover's quarrel...

Hey!

the landlord's dog Ketcha invaded,

and the assistant director disappeared, leaving a note behind.

Take this!

No!

Oops.

What have you done?

Even then, Akashi pushed to continue filming.

Whether the movie was headed for collapse or completion

was anyone's guess.

For everyone except Akashi, that is.

The set descended further into chaos

when dental hygiene student Hanuki arrived to show support.

As a friend of Higuchi and Jogasaki, she made demands about their acting,

ignored continuity by giving Ozu Kumadori makeup,

and gave the exhausted staff cups of lukewarm cider.

-Why not... -Why not...

-Cut! Okay! That's a wrap! -What?

Even when Akashi called the shoot to an end, no one believed it.

You mean we're done?

We're done. Good work, everyone.

It feels like we've left a lot out.

No. I got everything I need.

The rest can be solved in editing.

Was that really possible? Was the movie really finished?

I thought of saying something but soon sealed my lips.

As she gazed up at the sky, she looked more satisfied than I'd ever seen her.

Let's move to the hallway. It's the least affected by the heat.

Shall we seek the Master's advice?

Indeed. I'm sure the Master's having trouble too.

What are you talking about?

Nothing.

Master, bad morning.

Eliminate the worldly self and this 4.5 tatami room too shall be like Kamikochi!

Sounds like he's in meditation.

What?

This lovable mutt had made digging holes everywhere his life's work.

Whenever I saw him, it reminded me of my life in this 4.5 tatami room

and I couldn't help but call out.

Hey! Ketcha!

Would you like to see yesterday's footage?

What? Which part?

Hey! Don't screw with my bathing tools!

Don't worry. My feet are as pure as a baby's.

And action!

It's the dawn of a new Japan!

Indeed, indeed.

Without a doubt!

-Don't come... -This is awful. Truly awful.

It has its own eccentric charm. Master's performance is top-class too.

A new dawn!

Isn't that all he says, though?

No!

Oh, man, this is bad. I'll be cursed by that Kappa Lord.

What?

What is it?

Excuse me...

You all are residents of Shimogamo Yuusuisou, yes?

An indescribably shabby man had appeared.

Shabby hairstyle, shabby shirttail tucked into shabby trousers,

and a shabby crossbody bag.

A missionary of shabbiness.

His appearance inspired nothing short of fondness.

Did you just move in or something?

No, that's not quite it.

Are you looking for someone?

That's not quite it either...

Higuchi. Seitaro Higuchi from room 210! I know you're in your room.

Come pay your rent, immediately.

Your landlord sounds so young and vibrant.

Howdy, everyone. Today's as hot as all the rest.

Master Higuchi! How did you get here?

I just drifted along with the tide.

Drifted along?

In my own way. Now then, who are you, young one?

Oh, I... It's nothing. Excuse the intrusion.

Do you know him?

No. Never seen him before.

On another note, which one of you snuck off with my Vidal Sassoon?

Vidal Sassoon?

The shampoo?

Correct. It's suddenly missing from my bathing set.

If you confess like a good boy, I'll let it go.

Why would I steal your damn shampoo?

Well, it's a truly extraordinary shampoo. Watch me run fingers through my hair.

I don't care about your hair texture! Ozu! Was it you?

Like I'd ever betray my master.

Master, you went to the bathhouse yesterday, right?

Did you have your shampoo when you came back?

Well... Now that you mention it, my kit seemed lighter than--

In that case, you must have left it at the bathhouse.

I'm sure it's at the lost and found.

You've matured, my young apprentice.

Being clothed with a false accusation felt even worse in the heat.

It made me truly uncomfortable.

Now, then. Shall I go pay my rent?

Master, do you even have money?

I do not. But I will go pay my rent, nonetheless.

Profound words.

I'm gonna follow him!

The generous Ozu will likely pay his master's rent

and the landlord always treats everyone to tea and snacks when they come to pay.

In other words, Higuchi and Ozu wouldn't be back for a while.

Now it really feels like summer vacation.

I can't help but feel a little nostalgic.

Time, stop where you are!

There should be no question why I'd make such a prayer.

And yet, I could see dark clouds brewing beyond the summer sky.

Akashi had plans to attend the Okuribi bonfire with God knows who!

Let us turn back the clock hands to yesterday.

When the shoot was finished, we made our way to the Oasis bathhouse.

True to its name, it really was an Oasis for lost 4.5 tatami dwellers.

Man, that's gonna be one interesting movie.

You can't be serious.

Are you unsatisfied, Jogasaki?

It was b-movie trash. I'll never acknowledge it.

Well, it's an amateur film, after all.

In the first place, why did Higuchi play Ryoma Sakamoto?

I couldn't turn down a request from my apprentices.

That's the part that I can't accept! What makes you a master?

The movie will undoubtedly be a masterpiece!

The likes of you could never understand.

ELECTRIC BATH

Higuchi! Jogasaki!

Is that you, Hanuki? Well, this is a rare occurrence.

A public bath can be nice from time to time!

What? Leaving already?

I have things to do.

Why don't you just relax?

While walking near Mt. Yoshida last year,

I discovered a secret spot where one could view the bonfire in peace.

I had sworn to one day bring the object of my affection there.

It was my lethal weapon. If I didn't use it now, then when would I?

My plan was to invite Akashi to view the Gozan no Okuribi fire there.

Akashi said she was going to the used book fair.

USED BOOK FAIR

There were bound to be many books on the ceremonial fires there,

and it was natural that Gozan no Okuribi would be a topic of conversation.

In that case, inviting Akashi to Gozan no Okuribi was a gentleman's duty.

But in the final conclusion, I couldn't manage to ask her.

First off, she walked way too fast.

Second, she was so intent on looking at books, that I couldn't interrupt.

Third, a bit of clear thinking reminded me that to her,

I'm merely Ozu's friend or Higuchi's neighbor.

Would you like to see Gozan no Okuribi with me?

And why must I do that?

Just imagining her icy tone sent me into convulsions.

That's enough for today.

If not today, there's always tomorrow.

If not tomorrow, then the day after that.

Relationships between men and women should progress carefully at their own pace.

They're not to be rushed just to keep time

with the schedule of annual tourist events.

Okay.

Remember that I have my air conditioner.

If I'm early to bed and early to rise, plan carefully, and develop step by step,

I can become a man worthy of Akashi.

Then things will progress appropriately and naturally.

Or so I thought, but what awaited me back at Shimogamo Yuusuisou

was that cursed cola disaster.

Akashi's face was unusually severe.

Perhaps she was worried about editing,

but either way, this was no time to ask her who her date was.

Senpai.

What?

There's something bothering me.

Take a look at this.

Well, there's lots of things that stand out.

Here.

What?

Right here. On this balcony.

Is that Ozu? Wait a second...

It's strange.

There are two Ozus?

I noticed it just now.

Does Ozu have a twin?

No, I don't think so.

Look at you two! Getting along so well...

Hey!

Is Higuchi here?

That probably means to keep the secret about Ozu to ourselves.

He left with Ozu to pay his rent. They should be back soon.

I thought the three of us could grab dinner.

You two can join us if you like!

Thank you very much.

Is the remote fixed?

There's no hope, it seems.

Oh, my condolences.

-Whoa! -Hey!

What the... are you okay?

-What the hell is this? -The closet has a fragile equilibrium!

Outsiders should keep their hands off!

Will the movie turn out well?

Thanks to everyone's help, I got a lot of good shots.

I can't wait! Higuchi was Ryoma, right? How did he do?

As you witnessed, he gave a legendary performance.

What? As I witnessed?

An actor who only repeats the same lines can't be called a legend.

I'll bet your Takamori Saigo was even worse!

-You'll bet? -What?

Everyone seemed to be on a different page.

Just like when I returned from the book market yesterday.

What the hell is this?

-What? -Where'd that come from?

It was leaning against the wall here.

Is that...

No, I've never seen it.

Is it a vehicle of some kind?

I'll bet it's a prop.

Why would something like that be...

Maybe Higuchi found it somewhere.

That does seem possible.

But then, it's...

A strange object with what appeared to be a chair in the middle...

Atop the board were a lever and control panel,

while in the middle was a seat for one.

Everyone present at the scene thought of one thing.

But we all stared at each other to see who would be the first to put it in words.

Maybe it's a time machine.

Howdy, everyone. You're all assembled, I see.

Higuchi, do you know about this time machine?

I know about time machines, but I don't know about this time machine.

One of Ozu's practical jokes?

No way. I'd do something way more nefarious.

You have a point.

Still, whoever built it did a good job.

It even has dials for the date.

It's true! They spent a lot of time on it.

The dial allowed you to choose a year and date.

while the plus and minus switches seemed to indicate past or future.

If you do this, you can go back a day.

-Ozu! Get ready to travel! -Yes?

To the far reaches of time!

You got it, boss!

Master! Everyone!

Thank you for your long years of support.

Though we may be separated by space-time,

I, the unworthy Ozu, will never forget my gratitude.

Have a good life.

Goodbye! Be well, everyone!

All set.

What just happened?

He disappeared... right?

Was it the real thing?

-No way! -No way!

You know that can't be.

It's not possible!

Then tell me, where did he go?

Well, let's look around. Ozu might have planned this.

Right.

I'm sure he's laughing somewhere.

Ozu?

Ozu!

Ozu!

Hey, Ozu!

I wonder... What?

Well, well, everyone. This is really something!

Where did you go?

To yesterday!

Yesterday?

The moment I pulled the lever, the scenery warped like crazy.

When I came to, I was in the hallway

and none of you were here.

Confused, I walked out onto the balcony

and heard excited voices from the garden.

It was right during the film shoot.

A tale of cowards at the fall of the Shogunate!

Akashi, you, Master, and Jogasaki were all there.

The one in white makeup being cut down was me.

I spun in mid-air, returned to the time machine,

rolled the dials to today and pulled the lever.

That's when I came back here.

This is terrifying. It's a real time machine!

Cut the crap, you jerk.

Senpai! The footage!

What?

What's this about?

It's the footage from yesterday.

The part with clone Ozus.

Look!

Right? Look here! It's me!

The one in white makeup was yesterday's me

and the one watching is the me from today.

Just like I said, right?

Which means that there were two of you there, yesterday?

That's right. You can see it with your own eyes.

Then that means...

In other words, this thing here is a real, actual time machine.

Translated by: Bradley Plumb