Original subtitles

-[airplane engine droning] -[birds chirping]

["Free Ride" by Edgar Winter playing]

♪ The mountain is high The valley is low ♪

♪ And you're confused ♪

♪ Ahout which way to go ♪

♪ So I flew in to give you a hand ♪

♪ And lead you into the promised land ♪

♪ So, come on and take a free ride ♪

♪ Free ride, come on ♪

♪ And take it hy my side ♪

♪ Come on and take a free ride ♪

[pig squeals and snorts]

[Nixon] There are no American comhat forces in Laos.

♪ All over the country I'm seeing the same ♪

♪ Nobody's winning at this type of game ♪

♪ We gotta do better, it's time to hegin ♪

♪ You know all the answers Must come from within ♪

♪ So, come on.. . ♪

At the present time, we are concerned hy the North Vietnamese move into Laos.

♪ Come on and take a free ride ♪

[coldier shouting in Vietnamese]

There are 50, 000 North Vietnamese there at the present time.

[coldier shouting in Vietnamese]

[inaudible]

[coldier shouting in Vietnamese]

♪ Free ride ♪

♪ Come on and take a free ride ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Come on and take a free ride ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Come on and take a free ride ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.. . ♪

As you know, the American participation in Laos

is at the request of the neutralist government,

which was set up in accordance with the 1962 accords,

which were agreed to, incidentally, hy Hanoi, Peking, and the Soviet Union.

We have heen, uh, providing logistical support and some training

for the neutralist government

in order to avoid, uh, Laos falling

under Communist domination.

As far as American manpower in Laos is concerned,

there are none there at the present time on a comhat basis.

[Ioud explosion]

[Nixon talking on Tv] Finally, consider the situation in Laos.

I think President Kennedy...

[Ioud rumbling overhead]

[loud crash]

[Gene] Jecus!

[gasps]

[mutters]

-Come on. Come on ! -[0roaning]

[Ioud explosion]

-[0roaning] -[indistinct chattering]

[Ioud explosion]

[hooter honking]

[siren blarin9]

[Gene panting]

[man shouts]

[fireman] Get over here!

[man shouts]

-Gene, no. -[gasps]

It's too late. No chance. Get back! Get back!

-[officer] Yes, sir! -[man] Let the trucks through.

-[indistinct shouting] -Son of a bitch.

[Gene sighs]

-Gene. -[man] Get in here!

[man] The hell with the cargo!

[Rob] Is he dead?

Well, Rob, if he's not dead , he's very, very calm.

Jesus, I'm sorry.

Gene, listen. .. Hey.

Hey, Gene.

We're not here right now.

-Yeah, I saw N ixon on Tv. -Yeah.

So, if we're not actually here,

then, of course, this didn't happen.

Well , maybe it didn't happen for you and maybe it didn't happen for N ixon,

-but... I think it happened for Doug . -[man] Come on.

[Rob groans] We sure are 0oing through pilots.

-Hey, Gene, you will remember what I said . -[man] Come on!

Shh.

[Gene] Well , the problem is, Rob,

since you and I aren't here, this conversation didn't happen ,

so I can't remember what the fuck you didn't tell me.

[Rob] Damn it, Major.

These pilots are such head cases.

Yeah. And the worst part of it is we need more of 'em.

[aircraft en0ine roaring]

["Pushing Too Hard" by The Seeds playin0]

♪ Better listen, girl To what I'm telling you ♪

♪ You hetter listen, girl Or we are through ♪

♪ You better stop All your foolin ' around ♪

♪ Stop your runnin ' all over town ♪

♪ You're pushing too hard Uh, pushing on me ♪

♪ You're pushing to hard Uh, what you want me to he ♪

♪ You're pushing too hard ♪

♪ Pushin' too hard on me ♪

♪ Too hard ♪

♪ Too damn hard ♪

♪ Well, I know There's a lot of fish in the sea ♪

♪ I know some would, uh, stay by me.. . ♪

Now, let's 0o to our Eye in the Sky traffic report,

with our Eye in the Sky pilot, Billy Covington.

Billy, how you doin' up there?

[Billy] Well , I gotta say, I think the music speaks for me, Stevie.

All I want is to just a-be free,

live my life the way I want a-be.

[Stevie] Hey, how's the traffic, Billy?

Well, northbound traffic is kind of depressing , kind of sad.

Real congested , kind of bumsy-looking there,

to tell you 1 Ü0o/o there, Stevie.

[Stevie] Well, we understand that there's, uh, one whale

of a traffic jam out there on the 103, Billy.

Yeah , you 0ot that right.

You know why?

[Stevie] Yeah, that's why we go to you, Bill.

[Billy] Yeah, I guess so. I'll tell you why.

Because most normal drivers turn into complete pa0an rubbernecks

'cause they think they might see a fatality,

and that creates a gawker's block,

blocks things up for a couple of miles back there.

Kind of not unlike this complete moron here,

in the brown 18-wheeler from Rubio Moving and Hauling.

Excuse me, Stevie.

Hey! Move your truck.

There'c an ambulance trying to get to the site of an accident.

[driver] Hey! Fuck you, Eye in the Sky!

-[Billy] Fuck me? What-- -[driver] Yeah. Fuck you!

-[Billy] What did you say? Can't hear you . -[driver] I said , fuck you!

Man, you want a convertible?

-I don't think so. -Come down here,

you little fuckin' punk! Come down here.

I'll kick your whirlybird ass,

you little airborne piece of shit!

All right. Well , this is Rock 108Ü.

And where else are you 0onna get that kind of in-depth look

at the LA traffic situation?

[driver] You little worm!

You should be arrested ! This is very dangerous!

[Billy] I got your "Eye in the Sky" right here.

I'm gonna bust that whirlybird!

["Love Me Two Times" by Aerosmith playing]

♪ Love me twice today ♪

♪ Love me two time girl ♪

♪ I'm going away ♪

♪ Love me two time girl ♪

♪ Once for tomorrow Once just for today ♪

♪ Love me two time, I'm going away.. . ♪

[sighs]

[gruntc]

[gentle music playing]

-Hey, Billy. -Who are you?

Sorry to hear about your fall from grace.

You're an adventurer without an adventure. Somethin0's wrong, really wrong.

Well , nothing lower than a grounded pilot.

Who are you?

Let me ask you a question.

Why did you fly down so low into that accident site?

'Cause there was an ambulance trying to get to the scene of an accident.

All ri0ht. I'm tired of flyin0 a thousand feet above the action.

-I wanna be down in it. -Just what I thought.

Now, the same thing that got you fired off the radio can get you hired in Laos.

-'Cause there's a war going on over there? -In Vietnam , not in Laos.

You saw the president on TV.

Come on. I saw Heckle and Jeckle on Tv.

That doesn't mean that I believe that birds really talk.

-Give me a break. -Your point's well taken.

But there is no war in Laos.

You can take that to the bank.

Who'd be signing my checks?

Our outfit's called Air America.

Strictly civilian. American pilots. Men like yourself.

Wild men , if I may say so, Billy,

flying cargo and refugees in the wild , wild East.

FAA pulled my ticet.

Get you a new one out of Taiwan. No sweat.

Who the hell are you , man?

I'm your big0est fan.

[upbeat music playing]

[engine humming]

[aircraff engines roaring]

[music fades out]

-[9unfire rapidly goin0 off] -[people shouting and screaming]

-Ah ! -[Gene] That's nice, Rob.

What's that supposed to be?

[Rob] That is the sound of the torment of war.

See, when the enemy hears those sounds coming from your planes,

they're gonna be crazed.

The North vietnamese,

they're pouring into Laos.

They're heading into Saigon on the Ho Chi Minh Trail

and they're hooking up with their little Commie buddies.

So, we blast them with this stuff, they panic, they scatter.

And I admit. I admit. It's a dan9erous mission.

-The point is-- -Whoa! It ic worse than dangerous.

All right, this is embarrassing , man.

I mean, they're gonna point up at us and Iaugh at thic shit.

[Rob] Pirelli, this tape was decigned by experts

-for maximum psychological effect. -[Gene Iaughs cynically]

-You got no idea who you're fightin9 here. -[Rob] Oh, no. Abso--

You know more about it than American Intelligence, Gene.

Rob, I wish you wouldn't use the words "American Intelligence"

-to describe what it is that you do. -[men laughing]

-[Billy] Rob Diehl? -Yeah.

Hi. I'm Billy Covington.

-[Rob] Oh, yeah. Yeah. Welcome. -Thans.

-Yeah. Do you have some, uh, paperwork? -Yeah.

-Nice bat. -Billy's, uh ...

-Billy's one of you guys. -All right?

[Rob] Yeah. Thanks. So, uh , talk to 'em.

-Hi, guys. -[man] Hey. What's happening, man?

What brings you here, Billy?

Well, I hear there's some good flying here, huh?

[Neely] Good flying?

That's a thought.

It depends on where you're comin0 from, man.

Where are you coming from?

I'm from LA, from the West Coast of the US, man. Where you coming from?

I'm coming from the dark side of the moon.

[men Iaughing]

And I'm going back there too, soon.

[men cheering]

-Golden BB's coming for me. -Can I have my bat back, please?

-No. -[indistinct chattering]

Nomenclature, BB, golden . Ordnance, Personnel , Neely.

-[whistlin0 , crashing sound] -[indistinct chattering]

And what about the four rounds you can't see between ...

Pilot high jinks. It's their way of copin0.

-"Pilot high jinks"? -Yeah.

Thic ic psychotic behavior, man.

-Uh-- -[Gene] Well, here at Air America,

what's considered psychotic behavior anywhere else is just company policy.

-Gene Ryack. -Hi.

Gene. Gene, how'd you feel about taking Billy on his orientation flight?

Sure. It's okay with me if it's okay with you.

-Is it okay with you? -Good.

-Yeah. Let's get in the wind . -Yeah. Good , good.

Okay, just give him the bat.

-[Billy] This is Long Tieng , right? -[Gene] That's right.

[Billy] See, I put us right about here, but the map doesn't show a town here.

[Gene] Well , then I guess, as old Rob says, "We're not here."

Which means you're not actually seeing the second biggest city in Laos,

built from scratch, incidentally, by the US government.

And we don't really run 4Ü0 flights a day out of here

or ship a hundred tons of cargo, medicine, weapons,

platoons of Iocal troops, like, like those guys over there.

"Anything, anywhere, anytime," that's our motto.

Mainly, we fly C-123s, Helio Couriers, and Caribouc. Fairly normal machines.

But, uh , the real fun is playin0

with these freaky little aircraff here.

They're not even legal back in the States.

[Billy] Yeah? Well , this ain't the States.

Damn right.

Hey, what do you got today?

Peanut butter and mayo, salami. What do you got?

-Wife cchedule. -Better not be.

[feel-good music playing]

[Gene] You don't seem to be having much trouble with her.

Yeah. Well , I do all right up in the air.

It's down on the ground that I tend to fuck up.

Hey, you mind if I , uh , look at your logbook?

Nah.

Fourteen months of bush flying up in Canada.

-[Babo] Bush flying? -Yeah. Bush flying.

Two months of crop dusting outside of Fresno.

Fresno? How borin0 . What a fucking hero you are.

[Gene] Flew traffic for Eye in the Sky? You flew a chopper?

Excuse me. Is that an Uzi?

Hey, you know, that would make a great TV commercial , wouldn't it?

"Excuse me. Is that an Uzi?"

-"Why, yes, it is." -Fucking recruiter.

-I can't believe this guy. -Hey.

-"Self-defense is no laughing matter." -He says it. He says, "No war in Laos.

-You can tae that to the bank." -"That's why, when it comes to number one,

-He even told me that. -I pack an Uzi. Accept no substitutes."

-Show him your amulet, Gene. -Look at that.

Yeah? What's in there?

To be honest, the ashes of my left big toe.

Got it shot off right through the floor of the cockpit.

-Not far from here, as a matter of fact-- -You've been shot?

-You get shot here? -Yeah.

-Me and Babo had to crash-land. Was ugly. -They shoot at you here?

-Yeah . -He takes the toe home, cremates it,

puts it in that little jar around his nec.

[Billy] Wait a second.

No one told me anythin0 about losing toes.

I remember the whole conversation . He never mentioned toe loss.

-Who? -[Billy] The recruiter. He never--

Why didn't you get it sewed back on? They have doctors here.

[Gene] Well, I could have, I suppose,

but I figured once a piece of me gets shot off, I don't really want it back anymore.

[Babo] Besides, it's still with us in spirit.

-Yeah . -You understand?

[Gene] Yeah. I n spirit.

Toe-ism.

[Gene chucles]

[car engine humming]

[woman over PA] Royal Asian Airlines flight 704 now arriving at Gate 12.

-[man] Guys, get over here. -[Rob] Morning.

[Rob] Glad you could make it, sir.

A United States senator? I n my backyard?

On a goddamn fact-finding mission , no less?

He's not 9onna find out any facts, I promise.

He's certainly not 0onna find out about our little deal.

Besides, he's a dimwit.

He had a tractor dealership before he got elected.

Hey. Harry Truman sold cheap suits in Missouri,

and he wound up dropping an atomic bomb, okay?

[inaudible]

[triumphant military music playing]

-[Barlow] Welcome to Vientiane, Senator. -Thank you, Ambassador Barlow.

Senator Davenport,

this is, uh , Major Lemond . I'm sure you've heard of him.

Oh , of course. Where's the uniform , Major?

Too hot for all those ribbons and braids, huh?

You , uh, going civvy on us?

Well, I am civilian now, sir,

but I'm still air force at heart.

[Davenport chuckles]

Ah. Thank you very much . Uh , put bag in big car.

-No, no, Senator-- -Oh, I know. I know. Uh ...

Sorry. Uh, no have local dinero. [chuckles] Give tip later, okay?

Senator, this is General Lu Soong,

the supreme commander of our Iocal allied forcec.

[indistinct chatter in background]

[Davenport chuckles] Hello.

Anybody home?

[chucles]

[Davenport] Get a load of Senator Tact here. [lau0hs]

When you 0o to France, you have General de Gaulle carry lug0age?

Rob, get the senator's bag.

I'll just tae that, sir.

-Would you like me to take your jacket? -Oh. Thank you. Thank you. Uh...

[bright music playing]

All right, better Ii9hten up on that stick. We're comin0 in for a landing.

[Billy] Landing? Where?

[Gene] I guess I better show you.

[Billy] Show me what? Landing where?

Oh , come on. That's not a strip, that's a mountain.

Give me full flap. Three crans.

[inaudible]

[Billy] Please don't do this.

-[sighs] -[Gene] Damn. That was great.

-How was it for you? -[all chuckle]

[engine buzzing]

[Billy, indictinct]

[Gene] Yeah.

[relieved 0asp]

Whoo!

There's people in the woods! Guyc!

Hey. Hey. No. I know them. I know them.

[Billy] Who are they?

Well , ac a matter off act, they're friendc of my wife.

The little one'c, uh, my brother-in-Iaw with a business proposition.

Don't do that.

[indistinct chattering]

-[Gene greets in Lao] -[man mutters]

Gentlemen.

-[bright music playing] -[laughing and chattering]

[man, in Lao] We have six crates of guns. We'll make you a great deal.

[man, in Lao] The Russians dropped them for the Pathet Lao.

-[in Lao] We stole them . -[Gene speaks in Lao]

[man , in Lao] Brand new.

[man , in Lao]

[Gene, in Lao] I'll pay you 40Ü kip.

[man and Gene speaking in Lao]

[in Lao] Four hundred? Go buy a slin0shot.

[in Lao] Eight hundred.

Okay.

[Gene, in Lao] Six hundred.

[in Lao] Take it.

[in Lao]

Brother-in-Iaws are the same all over the world, huh?

He's bleeding me dry, but...

deal.

[engine roaring]

This is supposed to be my initiation fli0ht.

You use it to run some private scam.

Welcome to the Orient.

This is not a scam . It's a retirement plan.

I've been flying 15 years and I haven't got a pot to piss in

and I want my chunk of the American dream, okay?

[thunder crashin0]

[Billy] Running guns.

Okay, this is the hard part.

[Billy] Yeah , I notice. No radar.

[Gene] That's ri0ht. Just dead reckoning.

I can handle it.

Good.

[sighs]

[Babo] Hey, Gene, sit down . Hey, chec this out.

[Gene] It's pretty 0ood , huh?

[dramatic music playing]

[Billy shouts]

Well , hey!

[shout of relie

Okay, we almoct hit that at 3,I0Ü feet.

There any hi9her peas than that around here?

[Babo] Wait till you see this.

[Billy] We're at 3,700 feet.

There any hi9her peas than 3,700 feet around here?

-Yeah . -[Babo] I need a green.

-[Gene] Don't use mine. -Yeah.

-Use yours. -[Babo] Gimme that.

Listen, guys, we're gonna have to establish a new safety elevation.

I was going for that.

-You did that on purpose. -No way. I'll tell you the reason why.

The last time you colored the sky

-all flesh-colored and it looked stupid . -I can't see shit up here.

Are we south or east of the Atlantic here? Guys!

-Are we south or east of the Atlantic? -[Gene] What the hell have you been using?

-[indistinct] -Hey! South or east of the Atlantic?

[Gene] East! Don't bother me when I'm colorin0 , all right?

[Gene] I'm gonna draw a line here. You stay on your side.

[Babo] It's my book.

You wanna draw in my book, you stay there.

You're drawing over the lines.

[indistinct chattering]

♪ Baby, I need your loving. .. ♪

[hooter honking]

Hey, Senator, let us show you the real Laoc.

-Sir, he's getting out. -Uh ...

Senator. Senator, wait a minute.

Uh, Senator. Uh , Senator, sir, those pilots are drunk.

No, son, they're not just drunk. They're drunk Americans.

Hey, fellas.

Hey, fellas, pitchin' a little woo, are ya? [laughs]

Now, don't be embarrassed , fellas.

I know I may look like an old stick-in-the-mud ,

but back before I found the Lord ,

I partook of wine, women , and song on a number of continents.

-[laughs] -[men mutterin0]

[everybody laughing]

But on a serious note, fellas,

even though none of you'll ever wear any shiny medals,

or be mentioned in the history books,

there's a few of us back in Washington

who know exactly what you're doing for the war effort.

-That's great. -[Davenport] Yeah.

-Could you explain it to uc? -[Davenport laughs]

["Long Cool Woman in a Black Dress" by Charlie Sexton playing]

[laughing and chattering]

Yeah , yeah , yeah , yeah.

♪ Saturday night I was downtown ♪

-♪ Working for the FBI.. . ♪ -[inaudible]

-It's just ac heavy as Vietnam . -No, no, no, no.

You never compare the two.

Now, now, Vietnam is a war for ni9gers and no-necks.

Excuse the language. It's the Mai Tai talking.

But this, this is a gentleman's war. Huh?

This is a thinking man's war.

Hello.

[Rob grunts]

Corinne Landreaux, this is Billy Covington.

She doec all sorts of noble humanitarian things

for our little Asian brotherc up in the hills.

-Thans. -Honey, I kid becauce I care. Okay?

You know what the whole problem with the Vietnam War is, Billy? Huh?

It's too public.

See, a secret war is the way to go.

No reporters, no TV. You black out the war.

Like a... Like a pro football game.

And you know what?

Do you know what? Hmm?

We can't lose.

-Can I ask you one thing? -[Rob] Yeah , sure.

Is it like a kinky turn-on for you to brin0 your girlfriend

-to a whorehouse with you? -[Corinne chuckles]

[Lemond] This is not just a whorehouse, friend.

-Thic ic a place where men talk business. -[Billy] Business?

I was just getting used to this being a war.

Excuse me. [clears throat]

Who told you they were two different things?

Rob, I need you outside now.

And I need you clear-headed , goddamn it.

Ha-ha.

[indistinct chattering]

[Lemond] Something on your mind , Rob?

I was just wondering what the Pepsi-Cola people would think

if they knew what was happening here now that they're gone. [chuckles]

Well , don't you ever wonder about that?

No, Rob, I don't.

I wonder how many pilots already know about this place.

[men speaking in Lao]

Hmm.

[Soong] This stus good . Really good , Major.

Do you want to try some?

With all due respect, General , I'm not here for a tacte test, okay?

I am here to ask you again.

Please,

let's shut this Iab down for one week only, just while the senator is here.

Why don't you just tell baggage man senator

to go home now? Kick out?

[chuckles] Well, I wish it was that easy, General.

And in a civilized country like yours, it would be.

But in this case, it's just easier to shut down this Iab.

Then you and me be poor men and cannot pay for war.

If we don't sell heroin, no money to feed my soldiers.

No, Major. Better you and me stay good friends.

You take care of silly suitcace man. Yec?

Of course, General.

As always, you are thinking more clearly than me.

-[upbeat cong playing] -[laughing and chattering]

[inaudible]

[man cheers]

Is there something wrong?

Just that I'm uced to being the weirdest guy in the room,

and all of a sudden , I'm not even in the running.

Don't sell yourself short. You can be as weird as anyone here.

-Sure, kid. All it takes is a little time. -[0lass shatterc]

I just feel like I'm on thic roller coaster

of bar girls and strange, cquiggly signs and weird vehiclec

and more bar girls and Mai Tais

and what the fuck am I doing here?

Hey, I ask myself that question all the time.

-"Why am I here?" -[men] "Why am I here?"

[men] "Why am I here?"

[feel-good music playing]

There you are. A little taste of the States. You feel better?

Yeah. Everything's back to normal now.

Good.

[men Iaughing and chatterin0]

[squawks]

[indistinct chattering]

Nice silencer.

[Neely] I am a very conciderate person.

If I wanna go out all ni0ht on my miniature golf cource and shoot Iizards,

well , no reason to keep the neighbors awake. You follow me?

Huh? You follow me, punk?

-Yeah. At a distance. -[laughs]

-You're all ri0ht. Fuckin' punk. -[men laugh]

[Billy] Thanks.

Bet Jack's the only man you ever met

who built his own personal miniature golf course, huh?

[Saunders] Hey, I 0ot a concept.

What do you say you open this place up to the public

and charge admission , Jack?

You guys can do that after I'm gone. I'm leavin0 it to y'all in my will.

Come on now. Save it, will ya?

[Saunders] No, wait. Jack's got a point here. Come on. Let's face it.

The old-timers aren't in line for any government pension.

I mean , each pilot has to work out his own retirement scam.

-[Pirelli] Hey, Gino. -Yo.

[Pirelli] How's your floating guns and ammo shop doing?

You building up some inventory or what? Ain't you ever gonna sell?

Never make a move too soon , Nick.

-[Pirelli] I got a foolproof scam . -[pilot] Oh, yeah?

Yeah. I'm gonna take my money--

[Neely] You're gonna wind up back in Coney lsland ,

flying a Coppertone banner over the beach

and telling war stories in bars.

[pilots chatting indistinctly]

♪ The golden BB ls coming up to Neely now ♪

♪ Coming up to Neely now ♪

[dog barking]

Why you do that?

-Huh? Why the fuck did you do that? -Hey, Jack!

-Take it easy! -[Pirelli] You fucking moron!

-[Pirelli] Jack. -[Babo] Hey, hey, hey.

-[indistinct] -Nick. Nick!

-[Gene] Professionalism. -[Billy] Two shot.

How offen do you guys go on a bender like this?

[Babo] Bender?

Nah , this isn't a bender. This is just nighttime.

[everyone Iaughin0]

[critters chirping]

[snoring]

[sighs]

[snoring]

[aircraff engine droning above]

[Ioud whirring]

O.V. ,

wake Billy up. I 0otta take him to work.

U p and at 'em, Junior. Come on . Get up! Get up!

It's okay. The kid Iikes to fly.

[chucles]

["Rescue Me" by Fontella Bass playing]

-♪ Rescue me, take me in your arms ♪ -[gasps]

-♪ Rescue me ♪ -[shouting]

♪ I want your tender charm ♪

♪ Cause I'm lonely and I'm blue ♪

Fuck you, Gene!

♪ I need you and your love too ♪

♪ Come on and rescue me ♪

♪ Come on, baby, and rescue me ♪

♪ Come on, bahy ♪

[Gene] Good morning!

-♪ Cause I need you hy my side ♪ -[speaking in Lao]

♪ Can't you see that I'm lonely? Rescue me ♪

♪ Come on and take my heart ♪

-♪ Take your love and conquer every part ♪ -Crazy American.

-[laughs] -Ah.

♪ And I'm hlue ♪

♪ I need you and your love too Come on and rescue me ♪

♪ Come on, baby, and rescue me ♪

♪ Come on, baby, and rescue me ♪

♪ 'Cause I need you hy my side ♪

♪ Can't you see that I'm lonely? ♪

♪ Rescue me ♪

♪ Come on and take my hand ♪

♪ Come on, bahy, and be my man ♪

♪ Can't you see that I'm lonely? ♪

♪ Take me, bahy Take me, bahy ♪

♪ Love me, bahy Love me, bahy ♪

♪ Need me, haby Need me, haby ♪

♪ Can't you see that I'm lonely? ♪

[indistinct chattering]

-Gene. -[Gene] Morning , Rob.

-[door slams shut] -Morning.

You pick up one Senator Davenport at the VI P Iounge at the Vientiane Airport

and you take him up to the refugee camp at Bien Luc.

'Course you keep your lip completely zipped

on the subject of this air base,

and if he's dying for a bit of Iocal action ,

you just, you just dazzle him with bullshit.

Well , we got nothing else to dazzle him with.

And it is such dazzling bullshit, Rob. See you Iater.

[Lemond] Gene. Gene.

Listen, uh , don't fuck around with the senator, okay?

-I don't know what you mean , Major. -Keep things on a need-to-know basis.

Oh, you mean treat him like a mushroom . Keep him in the dar and feed him on shit.

[aircraft en0ine humming]

[Billy] Hey, Gene, what's that guy doing to your plane, man?

He's purifying it.

-It's a Buddhist ritual . -[monk humming]

[speakin0 in Lao]

[Gene speakin0 in Lao]

[aircraft en0ine humming]

Gene.

-Senator. -Is the secret air base around here?

Which secret air base would that be, sir?

Why do I get the feeling I'm being kept out of the Ioop?

What do I know? I'm only boy for carrying Iugga0e bags.

Oh , now, please, General , don't pout about that.

I apologized.

If anything , I chould be carrying your Iuggage.

That's how much the United States government values your support.

I hear talk that maybe America stop war and leave Southeast Asia,

not take any suitcase with them.

[Davenport] General , if things get

too hairy for us politically and we do have to bu0 out,

we'll bring you back to the States with us.

-We take care of our buddies. -You take care of shit.

[Davenport] I beg your pardon.

We've made Marshall Ky in Vietnam a very nice offer.

-Marshall Ky? -Yes, sir.

I know Marshall Ky. He's small-time.

He want to have liquor store in America when ending war.

I not going from being warlord to being liquor store owner.

Why don't you tell the senator what you really want, General?

Go ahead. Don't be bashful.

Holiday I nn. Southern California.

Own and operate.

-That might be difficult. -[Gene laughs]

-You find all this amusin0 , do you? -I sure do.

But hell, Senator,

if you can't lau0h at war, what's the use of fightin0 , huh? [Iaughs]

[Davenport] You got a good point there. [Iaughs]

[birds chirping]

-[indistinct chattering in Lao] -[gong ban0ing]

Uh , excuse me. Wanna tell me what that tin horn general is doing in my camp?

Corinne, have you met US Senator Davenport?

Welcome, Senator.

I'm , uh, Corinne Landreaux, USAI D.

May I show you around?

Bosses picked a hell of a cpot to put you , right in the heart of opium country.

My first choice was Kansas, but apparently, it's unavailable.

-This is all mountains and poppy fieldc. -Yeah.

What do you figure you 0ot here? Two, three weeks?

Yeah. At best. And then we fold up tents and leave.

Hmm.

Noble work, Micc Landreaux.

-This is truly noble work. -Thank you , Senator.

[sighs] Senator, I'll meet you back at the plane. I'll see you later, Corinne.

Thanks, Gene.

[Davenport] Look at that little devil operate.

General Soong's come here to shanghai all these men and boys for his private army.

Well , now, shanghai's an ugly word.

Well , how would you describe what he's doing?

Oh , well , I'd say he's showing a lot of charisma.

"Charisma"?

What you got to remember, Miss Landreaux,

is these people have different values than you and I.

But the nice part is,

we're all pulling together for the same cause.

"The same cause".

General Soong's only cauce is General Soon0.

Don't you get it, Senator? The CIA flies drugs for him.

I n return , he loans us his troops. Plus, he's kickin9 money back into the CIA.

You know what?

You've been working your little fanny off

in this hot sun for a darn good cause.

And God bless you for it.

But you're startin0 to rave.

I think you need a little air conditioning.

Have a nice day, Senator.

Thankc for coming.

You do me great honor for come to Nino's, Excellency.

-Thank you , Nino. -Thank you. Thank you.

[gentle music playing]

Now, frankly, gentlemen , I'm concerned. Uh...

We're not children in Congress. Now, we know General Son0--

-Soong . -Soong.

...ic up to some kind of hanky-panky with opium and whatnot.

Now, nobody's perfect, not even our allies.

But seriously...

when we hear rumors of Americans lining their own pockets with dope money,

gentlemen , that endangers this entire war.

Now, I wanna know the truth.

I'm afraid we've been eeping the truth from you , sir.

We have reason to suspect

that our planes are being used to fly opium from the hi0hlands

down here to Vientiane,

where it is processed into heroin.

[Davenport] Dear God. Christ.

Why wasn't I told about this before?

[Lemond] Senator,

we've made a grave mistake.

We were trying to protect the good name of our pilots, sir.

[Davenport] You mean our pilots...

are involved in smugglin0 narcotics?

Not all of them , sir.

Just a few rotten apples.

They know we can't inspect every piece of cargo,

and so, they take advantage of our trust.

-Do you know who they are? -[Lemond] We'll find out.

I pledge to you , sir...

we'll find those rotten apples.

["Right Place Wrong Time" by BB King playing]

♪ I been in the right place ♪

♪ But it must've heen the wrong time ♪

♪ I've said the right thing ♪

♪ But I must've used the wrong line ♪

♪ I been in the right place ♪

♪ But it must've heen the wrong time ♪

♪ My head was in a bad place ♪

♪ But I'm having such a good time ♪

♪ I been running trying to get Hung up in my mind ♪

♪ Just got to give myself A good talking-to this time ♪

-♪ Need a little brain salad surgery ♪ -[speaking in Lao]

♪ I got to cure my insecurity ♪

♪ But I've been in the wrong place ♪

♪ lt must've been the right time ♪

♪ I been in the right world ♪

♪ But it seems wrong Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong... ♪

[Billy] Hey, General, what's the car0o?

[Soong] None of your business.

[Rob] Covin9ton, your cargo's loaded.

Here's your, uh, co-pilot.

Enjoy the animals, fellas.

What?

I got a bad feeling this morning.

Don't worry about it. We're not gonna run into any golden BB's, okay?

-I'll be your good-Iuck charm. -Right.

No BB's, no bulletc, no bombs.

♪ I been in the right place ♪

♪ But it must've heen the wrong time ♪

♪ I'd have said the right thing ♪

♪ But I must've used the wrong line ♪

♪ I'd have took the right road ♪

♪ But it must've been the wrong turn ♪

♪ My head was in a good place And I wonder what it's bad for ♪

Rice drop's coming up first, then the three little pigs.

Uh , there's no desi0nation on thic last cargo.

That General Soong guy wac supervising the on-Ioad.

[pi0s squealing]

What kind of cargo would that be?

Coming up to a twelve o'clock.

All right, first drop zone's coming up.

[alarm beeping]

Stand by.

All right, comin0 up on it.

[machine buzzing]

Lookin9 good.

Airspeed's good.

Altitude's good.

Three,

two,

one.

Now.

[alarm beeping]

[man screams]

Ka-- Kash-- Ka-- Kwa-- Ka--

-Kwahn? -Yeah. He went out the back.

What do we do? Did he have a chute on?

-[Neely] No. -What do you mean , no chute on?

So, what do we do? We gonna go back for him?

No. You never go back. Never 0o back.

What?

What do you mean? You juct lost your kicker, man.

-You never go back. -Don't you get it?

-He just went out the back. -Keep it steady.

[Billy] You meet someone, and then they die, you know...

They should wear chutes all the time.

Hey! Come on!

That's not funny. Okay? That's not funny.

Hey, Billy, how's it going?

It's great.

[Neely Iaughs]

[Gene] Now, listen , Nino's serving up some Iobster tonight,

but you gotta order it in advance.

-You up for some of that, Jack? -[Neely] Lobster again ?

Yeah , if I'm still alive, I'd like some Iobster.

[Gene] Good , good. I'll radio on ahead to make some reservations,

have N ino chill a bottle of Mácon-Villages.

N ine o'clock okay for you guys?

Yeah. Great.

-Roger that. -[Billy] Peachy.

It'c a hell of a war, man.

Yeah.

Three-four-zero.

Twelve o'clock coming up.

-Stand by. -[alarm beeping]

[grunting]

[pi0s squealing]

[Neely] Comin0 up on it.

Three,

two, one.

Now.

[pi0s squealing]

-[loud explosion] -[squealing]

[loud explosions]

Shit!

[shouts] Jesus Christ!

[Billy] Hey! Ouit it!

Jesus!

Who the hell's chooting at us?

[Neely] Over here, everybody shoots at us.

All right, I'm not gonna die droppin0 pigc from the sky. That's not gonna happen.

-[Billy] No! -The 0olden BB.

I knew it. I knew it.

Just a question of when.

The golden BB. I new you were coming for me,

you son of a bitch. I told you.

I saw it in the mirror this mornin0 when I cut myself shavin0 ,

bright as the sun , coming right at me.

[indistinct shouting]

[alarm blaring]

We're hit in number two! Jack, we're hit in number two!

-Pull the extinguishers! -There goes an engine. Of course.

[dramatic music playing]

Hey, wake up, man!

Check the oil pressure.

-Oil pressure. -Check the oil pressure. Oil pressure!

-Oil pressure dropping . -Okay,

check number one.

N umber one's okay.

[Gene] Hey, is 9:30 okay at Nino's? He said he can't get us a tahle--

Gene, we're hit. We're badly hit. We're throwing fuel. We're going down.

[Gene] Are you still in gun range ?

[Billy] Yes!

Well, change your altitude and heading every few seconds.

Jack, give me a Iocation.

Jack! Got a minute? Location! Help him out.

Stop cnoozing.

Uh ...

Two miles south of Tango Seven.

There's an old Jap airstrip just the other side of Tango Seven.

Can you make it?

[Billy] Doubt it.

Come on , man. You can make it.

-[loud explosion] -Geez!

I'll make it.

Come right ten degrees.

Welcome back. Where you been?

Did I leave?

Wild Do0 to Bace. Wild Dog to Base.

Pilots in jeopardy over near Tango Seven.

Am heading over there now.

[dispatcher] Maintain course, Wild Dog. We'll send a recon plane.

Base to Wild Dog, do you copy?

Wild Dog to Base, fuck off.

[exhilarating music playin0]

Okay, where we at?

You cee it?

-[Billy] No, I don't see it. -Right there.

One o'clock.

[Billy] Okay, I got it.

Let's 0et the landing gear down. Let's go.

Coming down.

-[Neely] Shit. -What?

It's not going down.

Don't worry about it. Go to manual.

[Neely] Got it.

-[Billy] What do we 0ot? -Nothing so far.

Okay, for0et it. We're gonna jump. Kwahn!

Put your chute on.

You too, Neely.

Neely, let it go. Put on your parachute, man. Come on.

-I'm riding in with you . -No, you're not.

You're gonna listen to what I say. Put on your parachute. I want you off.

Kwahn , when I level out, you gotta jump, okay?

-I'm taking it in with you . -No, you're not.

The only thin9 God intended to drop from the sky is bird chit.

[Billy] Yeah, I know. You and bird shit, okay?

Bird shit and you. That's a new amendment.

Bird shit and catatonic pilots. Jump!

Okay, he's off. You're next.

They say you're most vulnerable when you're floating down in a parachute.

Just my luck I'll 0et a golden BB right up my acc.

Jump with it, if it doesn't open,

use your reserve. Suppose I don't have a recerve?

Get off! Get off, man , please!

-[Neely] Okay, my ass. -See you down there. Good luck.

I have never, ever, ever had to jump out of an airplane before.

I'm a fucking den mother.

Okay, can you run , man? Let's go.

What the fuck are you doing back here?

-I forgot my Nikon . -Yeah? Here it is. You want it?

-Yes. -You gonna stop fuckin0 with me?

-Give it to me. Yes. -You gonna get off the plane? Go!

You put on your parachute!

I'm afraid of heights.

[sighs]

[Billy] Okay.

Jump!

Jump!

Bye now.

[chouts]

[loud scraping]

[cows bellowin0]

[Billy shouts]

Shit!

Shit!

Come on. Come on!

Come on! God.

[gruntc]

[bellowing]

Come in , Billy.

Billy, come in. Give me voice, please.

[birds squawking]

Hey, Neely, are you satisfied or disappointed that we're still alive?

Hey. The jungle is full of Communist soldiers

and bandits and tribes of fucking headhunters, okay?

-We're not alive yet. -Okay.

-Want a piece of Juicy Fruit? -No, I do not.

-You sure? -Yec, I'm sure.

-We goin0 home. -Okay.

-Soon, Kwahn . -[aircraft engine humming]

No. We going home now. Look.

Look. We going home.

[Neely Iaughs, cheers]

[Neely cheers, Iaughs]

[Iaughs]

Hey.

[Neely cheers]

Good afternoon.

Yep.

Hi there, General.

[Billy Iaughs]

[cheers]

Yeah , I guess you missed us back there, huh?

Sure is nice to see some friendlies around here.

I'll tell you , man.

Got a couple dings on it.

Sure hope they don't take it out of my paycheck, you know. [scoffs]

Yeah. Nothing a couple days in the shop won't fix, I guess.

[whistles]

Let me 0ive you a hand here.

Guess you're in a hurry, huh? Wouldn't wanna stick around here too long.

[groans] God , these are heavy.

Gonna be a tight squeeze, huh?

Hey, man.

Come on , guys.

Hey, what about us?

Hey. Hey. Hey, you! Hey!

You're not taking us?

-Let it go, Billy. -Goddamn it!

[chouts]

We no 0o home now.

Opium go home now.

What?

There was opium on that?

[Neely] You said it. Opium.

And he took his opium inctead of us?

You helped him Ioad it, pal. [chuckles]

[chucles]

[exhilarating music playin0]

[Gene] Hey, fellas, when we 9et to the strip,

you go north and I'll search this side.

We'll find 'em.

And if we hurry, we can still make that 9:30 table at Nino's.

[Pirelli] Sounds good, Gene. We'll see you there.

Come on. Where is everybody?

-[sighs] -[shutter clicking]

[scoffs] Ouit it, okay?

[scoffs]

[aircraft en0ine humming]

[mysterious music playing]

There's a little trouble off your right wing

down there in the jungle, boys.

We got the other team moving in on our buddies,

crawling with black pajamas.

[men shoutin0 in Lao]

[rapid gunfire blasting]

[tense music]

Billy, move!

[Neely] Hey, Pirelli!

I'm quitting.

-Got any extra holec in you? -No.

[Gene] Wild Dog to Base.

Unfriendlies near Tango Seven.

[Billy] Unfriendly? Unfriendlies?

Everyone'c unfriendly here! Even the friendlies are unfriendly.

Why is everyone so unfriendly?

Well , they haven't gotten to know us yet.

Why are they shootin' at us?

[Gene] Because they're unfriendly.

[rapid gunfire blasting]

[Billy] You're locin0 oil pressure in the gearbox.

That's nothing. I lost tail rotor response.

Put your belt on.

I don't wanna crash twice in one day!

Don't worry. I crash better than anyone I know.

Oh ! Gene! You're at 40!

Yup.

-You're redlining! -Yup.

[Billy] Gene, watch the controls!

-You're redlining! -Yeah.

[Billy] Gene, you 9otta auto rotate now!

Wild Dog to Base!

We're goin0 in , approximately 3I4 of a mile southwest of Tango Seven.

[alarms blaring]

[shouting]

[grunting , coughs]

[helicopter creaking]

[sighs]

[chucles]

Hell of a rescue, huh?

I thought you had this helicopter blessed this morning.

I did. I had a feeling the monk wasn't concentratin9 that well.

There's no two ways about it, you know? We gotta drop.

-[Billy] No, man . -[Gene] Yeah.

[Gene] We gotta drop. We're sniper bait.

[Billy] What's the procedure? Who goes first?

[Gene] There's not really any hard and fast rules

about crashing strai0ht throu0h a cockpit.

-Why don't you go first? -No, I don't wanna go first.

-Okay. I'll 0o first. -No, I don't wanna go second.

All right. Okay. We'll tocc a coin . [gasps]

Call.

-[coin clinks] -Tails.

[Gene] Yeah. Is that heads? Tails?

-[Gene] What is that? -[Billy] Tails.

-That's heads, isn't it? -That's tails.

I'll go and look, okay?

[Gene chouts]

[groaning]

Come on.

Pretty soft.

[Billy] I hate going second.

[plane creaking]

[shouting]

[grunting and groaning]

[both groan]

That fall seemed to 0o pretty well, all things considered.

[groans]

[Billy moaning and groaning]

-[stammers] We should 0et moving . -Okay.

Okay.

-Can you walk? -[grunts]

-Walk? What do you mean, walk? -Yeah. Walk. Out of here.

We're in the middle of the goddamn jungle.

[rapid gunfire blasting]

[loud crash]

[tense music]

[rapid gunfire blasting]

[helicopter engine whirring]

["Run Through the Jungle" by Creedence Clearwater Revival playing]

Give me voice. Gene, Billy, 9ive me voice.

Gene, Billy, it's Jack. Come in.

Come on, 0uys. Let me hear from you . Over.

♪ Lord, it was so true ♪

♪ They told me don't go walking slow ♪

♪ The devil's on the loose ♪

♪ Better run through the jungle ♪

♪ Better run through the jungle.. . ♪

[Pirelli] Pirelli to Gene. Pirelli to Billy. Where are you?

Over.

[Babo] Billy, Gene.

Do you read me?

♪ Calling to my name ♪

♪ Two hundred million guns are loaded ♪

♪ Satan cries, take aim ♪

♪ Better run through the jungle ♪

♪ Better run through the jungle ♪

♪ Better run through the jungle ♪

[gunfire and explocions in bacground]

[Billy] You know, I swiped some things when I was a kid.

You know, whiffle balls, model airplanes, stuff like that.

I've uced a fake I. D. to drink underage. I've smoked a little reefer.

I've performed oral sex in states where it's against the Iaw.

But until I worked for my own government,

I never, ever, smuggled dope.

Hey, we're not smugglers. We're juct pack mules.

Look, no one's ever won a war in this part of the world

without the control of the opium trade.

Now, we just help General Soong get his local crop to market,

and he helps us fight the war. It's as simple as that.

Don't give me that cooled-out Buddhist cowboy shit!

Our government's running a war with drug money

and over there, across the border, in Vietnam,

our G. I .s are getting strung out on this stuff.

You know, you might as well be dropping rattlesnakes in a schoolyard , man!

You tell me that it doesn't bother you in your soul?

Hey, leave my soul out of this, will you?

Anyway, we don't officially work for the US government, remember?

Well , everybody knows who's running the show here.

What's the big secret? What happens if we say CIA?

Does the whole cky fall in?

[Ioud explosionc, rapid gunfire blasting]

Let's change our course. Uh ...

With some luck, we'll be out of here by the morning.

[Billy] How many more miles?

♪ I've been through the desert On a horse with no name ♪

♪ lt felt good to be out of the rain ♪

♪ In the desert You can't remember your name ♪

♪ 'Cause there ain't no one For to give you no pain ♪

♪ La la.. . ♪

[Lemond] Now, look. When that sales rep from Bell Helicopter 0ets here tomorrow,

don't clobber all over him right from the get-go

the way you did with that asshole from Dow Chemicals.

Nice and easy.

You bring him here, vintage wine, blah , blah , blah ,

ele0ant dining . Get him blown at the White Roce.

Then, at the end of the night, brandy, espresso.

Then you hit him up for the two free choppers.

I'm a little nervouc about it. I mean, if we--

[speaking Italian]

-I hear about your pilots shooted down . -Oh yeah.

I hope they safe. I pray for them.

Thank you, Nino. Every little prayer helps.

♪ For to give you no pain ♪

♪ La la la la la la.. . ♪

I have to have coffee with Davenport.

What should I do? Vamp for a little more time?

I tell you what. I'll do what you say.

I'll tae him to the White Rose, get him blown ...

-[Lemond] No! -No, what?

Davenport runs the Senate prayer 9roup.

With a 0uy like that, you don't bring up the subject of blowjobs.

You wait for him to bring it up.

[tires squeal]

Jesus!

Again?

Restaurant closed ! Health violation!

-All go home now. All finished ! -[mutters]

Everybody go now.

Free dinner!

Nobody pay!

[indistinct]

I do business

with round eyes all my life!

What you doing?

For sure, no Corsican fuck me!

-[clattering] -You crazy!

I picked up stuff from crashed plane, in bad danger!

You men in Vientiane don't want to pay same as last time?

Stop!

No more break things, General.

You understand?

Now, I tell you something.

I talk to Marseilles. I talk to New York.

They say opium not so good thic year.

They say heroin been cut with baking powder.

So, who fucking who, eh , General?

No, no. I no gonna pay you same-same, you give me shit!

[Lemond] Nino!

You Iicten to me. Oay?

N ino, you pay same-same...

or you will never use any of my airplanes a0ain.

Okay.

Okay.

Pay same-same.

-[gentle music playing] -[birds squawking]

[water rushing]

[gasps]

[dramatic music playing]

[gasps]

[speakin0 in Lao]

So this is the face of modern Communism?

Wrong again. A devout Communist carriec an AK-47,

and these guys have got the oldest weapons known to man.

Look at 'em.

No, these are hillbillies, kind of like Kentucky moonshiners.

And they're pissed about something.

They don't cotton to outsiders, I guess.

[indinstinct chattering]

[Billy] How's the conversation coming?

Well , I'm surprised they haven't knocked us off yet.

Surprised , huh?

-[Gene] Yeah. -How come you're so relaxed , man?

Maybe you don't get this, but when you die, that's it. All right? It's over.

-End of story. BIackness. -[Gene] Yeah.

They stick you in a box, cover you up with dirt,

and don't even let you out of it for weekends.

-It's really depressin0 . -Right. Nothing.

-Buddha sayc that-- -Stop with the Buddha thing, all right?

I juct don't believe that a true Buddhist would be in the 0un-running business,

okay?

You're a hustler, man. All right, you cover it up with a little jasmine incense,

you call it Eastern reli0ion, but you're a hustler.

I didn't say I was a good Buddhist.

They're gonna do it.

-No need to speed things up. -[speaking in Lao]

Look, those guns are all wron9 for rainy conditions.

What you need is come good, all-weather weapons.

[speakin0 in Lao]

[in Lao] The French desi0ned those guns for desert warfare.

[in Lao] Get back.

[in Lao] I hope you didn't pay more than two pigs for them.

[in Lao] A cow.

[in Lao] A cow. I know.

[in Lao] A cow?

[in Lao] A cow? For that lousy flintlock?

[in Lao] You got ripped off, man.

Oh. Can you believe it? This guy swapped a cow for this gun.

-Don't you find that hysterical? -[both laugh]

[in Lao] Have you tried it in the rain?

-[gun clicks] -[gasps]

[sighs]

My point exactly.

[in Lao] Uh. .. For all-weather guns at rock-bottom prices,

we'll go see my brother-in-Iaw. Huh?

[speakin0 in Lao]

[in Lao] Two days walk.

What do you say?

Gentlemen, these guns are cherry.

[Gene panting]

[in Lao] Deal.

-[gentle music playing[ -[birds squawking]

[Gene] Hello!

Hello, May Ling!

-Hello? -Gene!

-[delighted gasp] -[speaking in Lao]

[both chuckling]

[both speaking in Lao]

-I miss you . -Oh , I couldn't tell.

[moaning]

-[in Lao] Where are the kids? -[speaking in Lao]

Oh yeah?

[speaing in Lao, Iaughing]

Oh. Uh , Billy, May Ling.

-My wife. -[speaking in Lao]

Come on into civilization and get cleaned up.

[chucles]

You don't look like the kind of guy that'd Iive in a place like this.

-[Gene] Hmm? -No.

Well , never look at looks. Lookc will fool you every time.

What the fuck are you doin' here, man?

Do you believe in this war?

You know, I used to believe in all these wars.

See, I had this theory once.

[inhales] I believed in the politics of Saturday ni9ht. [sighs]

Yeah?

[Gene] I rated all 0overnments and countries

by how good or bad their Saturday nights were, and I ...

I knew that Moscow and Peking

had to be a stone drag at that time of the week.

So, I was flyin' for a cause.

I was fightin' to defend chicken barbecues

and weenie roasts and Ray Charles songs

and drinkin' Southern Comfort till you pass out behind the bar.

Politics of Saturday night.

I can relate to that theory.

[Gene] Yeah, it's not bad , is it?

Just not particularly true, that's all.

I hear they party pretty hard in Moscow.

No need to give up a good theory just because it icn't true.

Yeah.

So, why don't you go home?

Hmm? I ...

Look at me. Look at Neely, the rest of us. We're all a bunch of trouble junkies,

and we've been mainlining danger

and adrenaline for so long that nothing else gets uc off.

It'c kind of sick.

Ouit before you pick up the habit. And you will.

You'll pick up the habit. You'll 9et to like it.

Go bac to LA and be the weirdest guy in the room again.

-What do you think? -[clicks tongue]

Just gonna take care of a couple of things first.

You wanna get even. You wanna get even.

With who? Rob? General Soong?

[chucles]

Hey, forget it, will you? This is the Orient.

What Soong did to you was nothing. Nothing.

I've seen things here that I could never possibly have imagined.

And I'm a guy with a pretty broad ima9ination.

Why don't you just go home?

[Rob] What we have here, Senator, ic one of the most famous temples in Laos.

[Davenport] Gentlemen , I've been here four days.

I've seen 19 Buddhas, three tailor shops, a silk factory,

but you haven't told me one new thing about the dope trade.

Now, I'm leaving soon , and I'm not going back empty-handed.

I'd better go back to D.C. with a couple of heads on the platter.

Otherwice, the rumors alone would kill you on the Hill.

Rumors? Who are you hearing rumors from, sir?

You heard the man , Rob.

Heads on a platter.

[pilot] Okay. Pick them up.

All right.

[indistinct]

Easy now!

Move it!

[chuckling]

That looks like Paul Bunyan's condom.

-[Iaughter] -[man] Hey!

That is the whole point of air-dropping them, Pirelli.

Penis size is very important to Acian people.

So, if we can convince them

that Americans use this jumbo size,

then , their men will start to fear us.

Okay?

Okay.

You're excused.

Oh , guys. Guys. One more thing, guys.

The body of Jack Neely was recovered last night

-by AIlied soldiers on patrol . -[men] What?

Apparently, he was shot down by Pathet Lao soldiers

while on rescue recon for Covington and Ryack.

[comber music playing]

I understand how you guys must feel ,

but in the interest of base security,

I have to remind you to be absolutely quiet about this.

[Gene] Rob!

Before you tell us to keep quiet again , could we please have a moment of silence?

[Davenport] "Visit colorful native village."

That's what my schedule reads, Gene,

but we've been here nearly six hours.

I think we could safely say I visited it.

I'm sorry, Senator. They're nearly finished.

What is that thin0 , Gene? A boat?

[aircraft hummin9 overhead]

Sort of.

Gene, you're strange man.

Thank you for noticin0 , General.

You love old ways, Acian ways.

But, uh, General Soong love tomorrow ways.

Modern world.

Yes.

[gentle music playing]

I think our friend here is a little tipsy.

Yeah.

He's high on America too. I've seen it before.

That's a... ctronger high than whiskey. It's a big9er hi0h than opium.

Our friend is stoned on dreams of the USA.

Gene,

a moment ago, you mentioned opium.

So, now, tell me, and just let the chips fall where they may.

Is it true Jack Neely was flying dope when he went down?

[indistinct chattering]

[Gene and men speaking in Lao]

Let's take this back to the plane. Gentlemen.

You takin' that kayak with you?

It's not a kayak, Senator. This is Jack Neely's coffin.

I promised him I'd mae sure they didn't send him home back to Texas in a body bag.

And no, he wasn't flying dope.

-[snoring] -General , wake up!

[Gene] Hey, I'm here to drink to Jack Neely. ls anybody gonna join me?

-Here you go. -Yeah , all right.

-To Jack. -To Jack.

He wouldn't want it any other way.

He'd been real pissed to die in bed.

[glasses shatter]

-[indistinct chattering] -[Iaidback music playing]

-[Gene] I'm leavin0 , guys. -Oh, cut it out, Gene.

I'm sending May Ling and the kids on ahead. I'm gonna join up with them later.

What the fuck you talkin' about? Where you gonna go?

Well , I got a buyer for all my guns.

I'm gonna go around , pick up all my stashes

and get rid of 'em in one hit.

What are you gonna do then , Gene?

Become some fuckin' gentleman farmer in Thailand?

-[men] Yeah . -Yeah.

What about the rest of us, Gino?

Are we supposed to 0o back to Dry Crotch , South Dakota,

and sell aluminum siding?

-Really? -[O.V.] Shit.

They're 0onna shut this war down anyway.

There'll be another new war opening soon in a theater near you.

-You can bank on it. -Promise?

I promise.

I heard that.

[lau0hter and chattering]

More champagne, huh? You want more champagne?

[Gene] Gentlemen, I just spent the day with the senator

and, uh, the spooks. They're lookin' for some fall guys,

so, be careful, huh?

See you tomorrow.

[Gene] Hey.

Hi.

Where you been?

-Just around . -Yeah?

Oh , we did some shopping on the black market.

Got some 0renades.

Now I'm gonna go have some fun.

-Fun? -[Billy] Yeah.

I'm gonna have some big fun . Serious fun.

Lots of noise.

Hey, this doesn't sound like well-planned fun.

No.

Like I said , down on the ground is where I tend to fuck up.

I wouldn't do this if I was you.

Yeah , I know.

But then , you wouldn't do anythin9. Hmm?

See you Iater.

It's Pepsi time.

Can I have a soda?

[vendor cpeaking in Lao]

[indistinct chattering, Iaughin0]

[whimsical music playing]

[Billy sighs]

[Billy sighs]

[tense music playing]

[glass clinking]

[man shoutin0 in Lao]

[Ioud explosion]

[glass clinking]

I know who doing this. That fucking new kid doing this!

The guard saw him running away.

Word on the street, Major, is it's Communist sabotage.

[Lemond] Gentlemen, right now,

I don't give a rat's ass who tried to blow this place up.

The point is, this whole operation

is about to blow up in our faces right when the senator is here.

We need to 0ive Davenport a head on a platter, right now.

[sighs]

General.

If I might beg your indulgence.

Could I have the use of two kilos?

Here you go.

These two kilos are for the cause.

Yes, sir.

[Gene] That's right, Charlie. C-123 just for me, personal use here.

[Charlie] That's a hell of a big plane for personal use.

[Gene] Exactly.

Guess you got a buyer for all your weapons, huh?

Oh, nail on head , Charlie.

-Hi , Charlie. -Hey. How's it goin'?

-Hey. How you doin'? -Very well.

Good. What are you takin' today?

I'm taking flour cacs over to Viengthong in the Porter.

-Right. -That's right near Tango Seven.

Planning on crashing any more airplanes on the runway today?

-Uh, not today. -Nope? That's good.

You already cost this company enough as it is.

-Thank you , Charlie. -Sure.

I don't know quite what you're talking about.

What does that mean?

Feel better now?

So much better.

Yeah , there was a cloud of opium smoke over the town last night,

got everybody stoned.

And they actually shut that plant down for three whole hours.

Didn't start again till early thic morning.

That's the way it ic.

[speakin0 in Lao]

-Okay, Gene. -Okay.

Oh. [speaking in Lao]

[speakin0 in Lao]

-How we doin'? We set? -Oay. All set.

Viengthong, huh?

[vibrant music playing]

[man shouts]

[indistinct chattering]

You ! You ! Move truck out. Quick!

[truck engine starts]

Keep moving , Audrey. Come on.

[Soong] Come on! Get going! Hurry up!

-Hey! Wait a minute! Hey! -You get truck out!

Calm down. You'll get your opium fieldc.

Now, we're gonna need a few more hours to move 'em out of here.

[Soong] Get them out!

Easy. Hurry up! Come on!

[dispatcher] Base to Stagger Lee. Come in.

Stagger Lee to Base. Over.

Slight change in your flight plans, Stagger Lee. Hold off on the drop.

We want you to take her down to LS-13 for a routine inspection.

[Billy] Routine inspection?

That's affirmative, Stagger Lee.

We don't make 'em up. We just read 'em.

Check. Heading towards LS-18.

Hey, Babo, I'm goin0 over to LS-18 for routine inspection.

-Routine inspection? -Yup.

Never heard of it.

[tense music playing]

Then it ain't routine.

-Babo, check your car0o. -What's up?

I don't know. Something's up. Check the cargo, will you?

[Babo] Yeah.

Well , I hope to God our information is wrong, Senator.

It would break my heart if we found heroin on that plane.

On the other hand, sir, the pilot is a young man from California.

Oh , I see.

Caught up in all that doggone youth culture bit, huh?

Boy, all those yearc of rock and roll.

Still and all, he is only one young man.

How come we need all these fellas helpin' out?

Well , pilots are tough men, Senator.

This one might resist, with force.

If our information is correct, he is a cool and ruthless customer.

[tense music playing]

Hey, Billy, I 0ot nothing back here.

Listen , man. We're being set up, okay? Keep Iooking.

-Are you serious? -Yeah, I'm serious. Cut 'em open.

What do you got?

[Babo] Nothing.

[airplane humming overhead]

[Billy] Come on. Hurry up!

[Babo] Got it.

Ha!

God , I knew it! I knew it.

Look at those bastards down there, just waitin' for us.

[Babo] Damn . Looks like they want us busted.

Dead and busted.

[alarm beeping]

Oh, no.

[Babo] Somebody mecced with that fuel gauge, 'cause we're runnin' out.

[Billy] Forget this. I'm gonna 90 for that abandoned airstrip

over by Tan0o Seven.

Wait a minute, Billy.

If they're waitin' for us down here, they can follow us to Tango Seven.

-We'll figure something out. -No, no. Don't say "we", man,

'cause I'm 43 years old

and I never figured out anything in my whole fuckin' life.

[alarm beeping]

[engine accelerates]

[Lemond] He's not landing , Rob.

[Rob] He's 0ot to, sir. He's only got enou9h fuel to--

Start 'em up.

-Let's 0o after 'em. -[man shouting in Lao]

[alarm beeping]

[Babo sighs]

We're VSF, man. We're VSF!

-[Billy] What? -[Babo] Very Severely Fucked!

[alarm beeping]

[soldiers speakin0 in Lao]

[alarm beeping]

[Babo] Good flying , Covington . Ever do any valet parking?

[Billy] Looks like we're gonna make it.

[Babo] But what the hell are we gonna do once we get on the ground , huh?

I'm workin' on it.

[engine chugging]

[Billy] Come on.

Come on!

-You're going pretty fast, Covington . -Hold on!

Hold on?

-[Billy] Hold on . -[Babo] Pull up! Pull up!

Goddamn it! What are you doing?

Shut up!

[Babo] What are you , nuts?

[Billy] Get your head down , now!

-What are you , fucking nuts? -Get down!

[Billy and Babo Iaughing]

[Babo cheers, Billy Iaughs]

-See, I never would have thought of that. -Yeah, it just came to me.

[Babo sighs]

-I'm gonna buy you some beers. -Ow.

[sighs] Lousy week, man.

-Lousy week. -[puffs] Gene.

Come in , Gene.

[men speaking in Lao]

[Babo] Come in, Gene.

-[Gene] Bullshit. -[Babo] Gene, come in.

-Excuse me for a minute. -[Babo] You there ?

[Babo] Gene, this is Baho.

Gene, come in.

Yeah , this is Gene. What? What do you want?

He what? He what? He did it a0ain?

Son of bitch ! Can't he keep the thin0 in the air?

Well , I'll think about it.

[speakin0 in Lao]

Come on. [speaking in Lao]

-No. No more money. Speak English . -[speaking in Lao]

[engine whirring]

[tense music playing]

[growlin0]

Where did he go, Rob?

I don't know!

Senator, I'm afraid we've lost him.

Well , maybe my trip hasn't been a complete loss.

Maybe I found those rotten apples, after all.

[Lemond] Beg your pardon, sir?

You know, I may wear short pants in the jungle,

say things like "gosh darn" and "deep doo-doo",

but I sure know a frame-up when I see one.

Unless my eyes deceive me--

Oh , they probably do!

Now, look here, pal.

I now you were a hi9hly decorated soldier--

Senator, kiss my highly decorated ass!

I've been trying to make it easy for you,

but there's just no way to please you people.

I tell you what. You go back to Wachington ,

you take a cab from the airport, ride ctraight to the White House,

and you just pour your heart out about what you think you saw over here.

And then you stand back and watch the slow, painful death

of your political career.

You can't touch me without cutting your own throat!

You know why?

Because the president loves my ass!

You really are second-level , Rob.

[Lemond] We go home now!

[vibrant music playing]

Hey. Glad you could make it.

Where's your bus?

It's a... long story.

Well , it's my last stop, boyc.

One more pickup, then I off-load . Home free.

It's gravy from there on in.

Hey, I had a map around here some place where the stops were marked in crayon.

-You seen it? -Yeah , here it is.

Oh.

Navigate me to sky blue, please.

[Babo] Whoa! Did you check all the friendlies down there?

[Gene] Yeah, that's Soong's troops. I've been listening to them all morning.

They're marching in to take over the poppy fields.

He's shittin' kittens 'cause he thinks someone else is gonna get there first.

It's right by that refugee camp too.

Yeah, that's where the poppies are.

[clamorin9 , shouting]

-[Ioud explosionc] -[triumphant music playing]

Corinne, there's no more truckc. There's no more choppers.

-You get on. Go ahead . -Come on!

No, you 0o ahead. I gotta call.

-Corinne! -Go! Go!

[Corinne] Mayday! This is Scout Camp One.

Enemy troops are moving in on General Soong

and we 're caught in the cross fire.

Request immediate assistance.

Mayday! This is Scout Camp One.

Scout Camp One requesting assistance.

Mayday. We're under heavy mortar fire. Do you read?

-[radio static] -Uh, this is Pirelli.

We're 15 minutes away.

Is anyone closer?

We 're gonna head in if nobody is closer. Call us, please.

Anyone nearby?

[Corinne] Mayday. We're out to all aircraft.

Heavy mortar fire

at Scout Camp One.

Do you read? All aircraft.

Saunders and Pirelli are nearly as close as we are.

They can get her.

Yeah , we're only about five minutes closer.

Five minutes at most.

-Seriously, I looked-- -Shut up, will ya?

-What? -Look, I planned this day for a lon0 time.

-I got it all worked out. -I was agreein9--

I haven't got time to pick up lost social workers in the jungle, okay?

She chose to be there.

I'm not sayin0 you have to take care of her.

I did my Boy Scout shit when I picked you two 0uys up.

I appreciate it.

-Well, thank you ! -[Billy] I appreciate it.

She knew what she was doin' when she got--

Oh , goddamn it!

Five minutes isn't gonna kill us.

She's sinny. We can fit her in the back with the machine 0uns.

Give me a heading , will you?

One-six-zero.

Are you sure? It's a tight squeeze back there.

Shut up!

[mid-tempo music playing]

And keep your hands off the wheel . We know what happens when you fly.

[Pirelli] Uh, we haven't heard. Is anybody gonna go in ?

Please, come in.

Sorry, Pirelli. I was in a phone booth , changing clothec.

We'll 9et her.

[shouts in Lao]

["Gimme Shelter" by the Rolling Stones playin9]

♪ A storm is threatening ♪

♪ My very life today ♪

Jesus.

Yeah, this was a 0ood idea of yours, wasn't it?

♪ War, children ♪

♪ It's just a shot away ♪

♪ It's just a shot away ♪

♪ War, children ♪

♪ It's just a shot away ♪

♪ It's just a shot away ♪

♪ Ooh, see the fire's sweeping ♪

♪ Our streets today ♪

♪ Burns like a red coal carpet ♪

♪ Mad hull lost its way ♪

♪ War, children ♪

♪ It's just a shot away ♪

♪ It's just a shot away ♪

♪ It's just a shot away ♪

♪ It's just a shot away ♪

I knew you guys would make it.

If you give me a hand , I think we can get everybody on board.

No, no. We just came back for you.

He can't bring thece people. He's fully loaded back there.

Well , dump the fucking cargo!

No, that's a big problem.

Billy, I brought all these people here. I'm not leaving without them.

Well, let's get this kid and get out of here. Come on!

[indistinct]

[loud explosions]

Come on.

Come on!

Hey. Let's go. Get on the plane!

I'm not leavin9 without thece people.

We came here to get you . Now, get on the fuckin' plane.

Dump your cargo.

[loud explosions]

[babies crying]

Jesus.

One minute.

-Gene, I got a crazy idea. -What?

-Let's just dump the cargo -Oh , really?

-And take the refu0eec instead . -Oh , great.

-Great! -Come on. Do me a favor.

We'd better hurry.

You've 0otta do it

or you're just another version of Major Lemond

with a slightly hipper rap.

Knock it off, will ya?

[Billy grunts]

[Ioud explosion]

Goddamn it.

Hey, Mother Teresa!

I was gonna do it anyway. I just hate being Iectured.

[gruntc]

-[feel-0ood music playing] -[Gene sighs]

Okay. That's it. [grunts]

[groans]

[chouts]

Ah...

[Gene] "SIightly hipper rap"?

Slightly...

[shouting in Lao]

[speakin0 in Lao]

Let's go. Come on. Quicly.

-Quickly. -[Gene and Corinne cpeaking in Lao]

You better hop up the front and give it some stick.

Those shells are getting accurate.

[exhilarating music playin0]

[engine rumbling]

[music subdues and ends]

Afternoon , ladies and gentlemen . Welcome about Air America fli0ht number 1.

-On behalf of our flight crew.. . -[speaking in Lao]

We'll turn off those fasten seat belt signs after we get out of gun range.

We 'd like to apologize for that ground delay.

Captain Ryack was experiencing some material turhulence.

We'll be serving some Iight refrechments and entertainment on Channel 3

by that new group, Gene Ryack and the Redemption ,

tops in rock and roll.

Currently, our captain is figuring out

how to tell his family that he misplaced their nest eg0.

Meanwhile, our flight plan today

taes us over the Plain of Jars,

Anaheim, Azusa, and the Mekong Delta,

leading us down into...

Where are we goin'? What are we 0onna do?

You're gonna help me get the cash back I lost when you made me dump off my cargo.

-[Billy] Made you dump your cargo? -Yes.

I didn't make you dump your cargo. I merely sug0ested.

Do not blame me

for the sin0le decent act of your adult life, okay?

Besides, where are we gonna 0et that kind of money? You out of your mind?

Down here, at Crazy Gene's Used Airplanes, people think we're out of our minds

since we slashed the prices on our used C-123s.

You got a private army to get into a battle--

Forget it. Or you wanna rent some guns,

you find you're hassled by those pesky border guards.

Gene! You can't sell the plane. It's US government property.

The US government doesn't exist in Laos.

And neither does this plane.

-[Iaidback music playing] -Good point.

[Gene Iaughs]

So just sit back, relax, and , uh , we'll do what we do best.

We fly.

["Come Fly With Me" by Frank Sinatra playing]

♪ Come fly with me Let's fly, let's fly with me ♪

♪ If you can use some exotic hooze ♪

♪ There's a bar in far Bomhay ♪

♪ Come on and fly with me Let's take off in the blue ♪

♪ Once I get you up there ♪

♪ Where the air is rarefied ♪

♪ We'll just glide, starry-eyed ♪

♪ Once I get you up there ♪

♪ I'll be holding you so very near ♪

♪ You might even hear ♪

♪ A whole gang of angels cheer Just because we 're together ♪

♪ Weather wise It's such a cool, cool day ♪

♪ You just say those words ♪

♪ And we'll take our birds Down to Acapulco Bay ♪

♪ Come fly with me Pack up, let's fly away ♪

♪ And don't tell your mama ♪

["Right Place Wrong Time" by BB King playing]

♪ I heen in the right place But it must've have been the wrong time ♪

♪ I'd have said the right thing ♪

♪ But I must've used the wrong line ♪

♪ I heen in the right trip But I must have used the wrong car ♪

♪ My head was in a had place But it must have been the wrong time ♪

♪ And I been in the right place But it must've been the wrong time ♪

♪ My head was in a had place But I'm having such a good time ♪

♪ I heen running Trying to get hung up in my mind ♪

♪ Just gotta give myself A good talking-to this time ♪

♪ Just need a little brain salad surgery ♪

♪ I got to cure my insecurity ♪

♪ But I heen in the wrong place Must've heen the righ time ♪

♪ And I been in the right place But it must've been the wrong song ♪

♪ I heen in the right vein But it seems like the wrong arm ♪

♪ I heen in the right world But it seems like a wrong, wrong, wrong ♪

♪ Slipping, dodging, sneaking, creeping Hiding out down the street ♪

♪ I see my life shaking With every ho' I meet ♪

♪ Refried confusion ls making itself clear ♪

♪ Wonder which way Do I go to get on out of here ♪

♪ I heen in the right place But it must've been the wrong time ♪

♪ I'd have said the right thing But I must've used the wrong line ♪

♪ I'd have took the right road But I must've took a wrong turn ♪

♪ Would've made the right move But I made it at the wrong time ♪

♪ I heen in the right trip But I must have used the wrong car ♪

♪ My head was in a good place And I wonder what it's bad for ♪

[exhilarating music playin0]