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1
00:00:12,664 --> 00:00:17,626
♪
2
00:00:17,669 --> 00:00:19,628
Top of the morning
to you, little dude!
3
00:00:19,671 --> 00:00:21,673
Hey, eat shit and die
of eating shit.
4
00:00:21,717 --> 00:00:24,241
Whoa, that's no way
to treat your friends.
5
00:00:24,285 --> 00:00:25,242
You're not
my friends.
6
00:00:25,286 --> 00:00:27,070
We're the only ones
that know what
7
00:00:27,114 --> 00:00:28,550
you're going through,
little dude,
8
00:00:28,593 --> 00:00:30,030
and where
you're going to.
9
00:00:30,291 --> 00:00:32,728
You can't escape
your destiny, loser.
10
00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:34,860
It's either us
or no one.
11
00:00:34,904 --> 00:00:36,123
I've got
real friends!
12
00:00:36,166 --> 00:00:38,081
Ones that will stick
by me no matter what!
13
00:00:38,125 --> 00:00:38,908
Not for long.
14
00:00:38,951 --> 00:00:39,996
Is that a threat?
15
00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:41,867
Whoa, whoa,
far be it for us
16
00:00:41,911 --> 00:00:43,913
to threaten
the destroyer of worlds.
17
00:00:43,956 --> 00:00:45,871
But a shitstorm
is brewing, bro.
18
00:00:45,915 --> 00:00:48,222
And you're the asshole
at the center of it.
19
00:00:48,918 --> 00:00:49,875
And your friends?
20
00:00:49,919 --> 00:00:51,660
They're just gonna
be swept aside.
21
00:00:51,703 --> 00:00:53,705
and casually fucked
into nothingness.
22
00:00:55,707 --> 00:00:57,013
He's saying they're
all gonna die
23
00:00:57,057 --> 00:00:59,102
if they keep hanging
with you, loser.
24
00:00:59,146 --> 00:01:00,669
Yeah, I got that,
asshole.
25
00:01:00,712 --> 00:01:02,932
Rob: Whoa,
not the finger!
26
00:01:02,975 --> 00:01:04,586
You're too
hard-core for us!
27
00:01:04,934 --> 00:01:06,327
[laughing]
28
00:01:06,675 --> 00:01:08,677
What are we gonna do
about Todd's problem?
29
00:01:08,720 --> 00:01:10,157
You know he shaved
his nutsack
30
00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:11,897
and now it's super itchy
and in-grown?
31
00:01:11,941 --> 00:01:13,029
Guys do that?
32
00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:14,683
Well, not me.
I rock the dick beard.
33
00:01:15,162 --> 00:01:17,686
It makes my porksword
look like a wise old wizard.
34
00:01:17,729 --> 00:01:18,991
Curtis:
And I mean old.
35
00:01:19,035 --> 00:01:20,428
That sounds
far worse--
36
00:01:20,471 --> 00:01:22,125
I'm talking about
Todd's bigger problem.
37
00:01:22,169 --> 00:01:24,127
We need to find out
what happens if
38
00:01:24,171 --> 00:01:25,868
he really is
the Pure Evil One.
39
00:01:25,911 --> 00:01:27,609
It means he's gonna
destroy the world.
40
00:01:27,652 --> 00:01:29,045
Or something.
41
00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:31,134
I for one think we need
to keep him from doing that.
42
00:01:31,178 --> 00:01:32,614
Jenny: Uh, yeah!
He could be
43
00:01:32,657 --> 00:01:34,616
more dangerous than
the Book of Pure Evil.
44
00:01:34,659 --> 00:01:35,834
Curtis:
Whoa, you guys--
45
00:01:35,878 --> 00:01:37,445
You're talking about
my best friend here.
46
00:01:37,488 --> 00:01:39,969
Maybe all he needs is
for us to tell him
47
00:01:40,012 --> 00:01:41,101
we love him.
48
00:01:41,144 --> 00:01:42,754
Jenny: Can't we
tell him we like him?
49
00:01:42,798 --> 00:01:44,016
It's sorta
the same thing.
50
00:01:44,060 --> 00:01:44,756
Love's
more powerful.
51
00:01:44,800 --> 00:01:45,931
Love conquers all.
52
00:01:45,975 --> 00:01:46,932
That's so sweet.
53
00:01:46,976 --> 00:01:48,456
Can we get
back on track here?
54
00:01:48,499 --> 00:01:50,022
My dad was researching
the Book
55
00:01:50,066 --> 00:01:51,328
when those Satanists
kidnapped him.
56
00:01:51,372 --> 00:01:53,156
He must know something
about that Prophecy
57
00:01:53,200 --> 00:01:54,244
they were
talking about.
58
00:01:54,766 --> 00:01:56,768
Too bad he's
in a coma-
59
00:01:56,812 --> 00:01:59,336
But he could snap out
of that any day now.
60
00:01:59,597 --> 00:02:01,295
Like right now.
61
00:02:01,338 --> 00:02:02,426
Thanks, Curtis.
62
00:02:02,470 --> 00:02:03,471
Look!
63
00:02:06,387 --> 00:02:08,389
Dad, what are you
doing here?
64
00:02:10,782 --> 00:02:12,480
"Dear Jenny, your father
is a vegatable.
65
00:02:12,523 --> 00:02:14,003
"Which is why
I'm leaving him.
66
00:02:14,046 --> 00:02:15,570
"With you.
Forever.
67
00:02:15,613 --> 00:02:16,614
"Love, Mom."
68
00:02:18,225 --> 00:02:19,269
Curtis: Yeah but there's
something on the back.
69
00:02:19,313 --> 00:02:22,316
"P.S. Forever means
I'm not coming back."
70
00:02:22,794 --> 00:02:23,795
Harsh.
71
00:02:49,647 --> 00:02:51,083
Hi!
I'm Leslie!
72
00:02:52,433 --> 00:02:53,869
You wanna trade
sandwiches?!
73
00:02:55,262 --> 00:02:57,220
Why would I want
to trade sandwiches?
74
00:02:57,264 --> 00:02:58,700
Maybe you eat
my sandwich
75
00:02:58,743 --> 00:03:00,180
and I eat
your sandwich
76
00:03:00,223 --> 00:03:01,572
and we become
friends?
77
00:03:05,315 --> 00:03:17,022
♪
78
00:03:17,066 --> 00:03:19,416
[energy pulsing]
79
00:03:19,460 --> 00:03:33,822
♪
80
00:03:33,865 --> 00:03:39,480
"Expello... Meus...
Solitudo... Eternus!"
81
00:03:52,493 --> 00:03:53,972
Okay, listen up,
you old geezers.
82
00:03:54,016 --> 00:03:55,713
I've got an important
announcement to make.
83
00:03:55,757 --> 00:03:57,715
I too have an important
announcement to make.
84
00:03:57,759 --> 00:03:59,239
Are you telling me
your announcement
85
00:03:59,282 --> 00:04:00,457
is more important
than mine?
86
00:04:00,501 --> 00:04:01,719
Most assuredly.
87
00:04:03,721 --> 00:04:05,549
Get on with it.
Make it snappy.
88
00:04:06,507 --> 00:04:07,812
My fellow brethren--
89
00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:11,294
our ancient society
recently suffered a terrible
90
00:04:11,338 --> 00:04:14,123
and painful loss
when our beloved Minion Bob
91
00:04:14,166 --> 00:04:16,473
died at the hands
of the Book.
92
00:04:16,517 --> 00:04:18,475
You're not
being snappy!
93
00:04:18,519 --> 00:04:19,737
Fine!
94
00:04:19,781 --> 00:04:22,479
Now that he's gone,
we need to replace him!
95
00:04:23,524 --> 00:04:25,961
So please welcome
our new fourth minion--
96
00:04:26,527 --> 00:04:27,528
Fred.
97
00:04:29,747 --> 00:04:32,707
[clapping]
98
00:04:32,750 --> 00:04:34,709
Minion Bob's
ceremonial robe.
99
00:04:34,752 --> 00:04:36,928
Sorry we didn't
get a chance to wash
100
00:04:36,972 --> 00:04:38,495
the blood
and feces off it.
101
00:04:38,539 --> 00:04:40,149
Atticus: Yeah,
welcome to the family,
102
00:04:40,192 --> 00:04:41,368
Minion Fred.
103
00:04:41,411 --> 00:04:43,413
I'm sure you'll be just
as mediocre a minion
104
00:04:43,457 --> 00:04:44,675
as the rest
of them.
105
00:04:44,719 --> 00:04:46,938
Now onto the real
important announcement.
106
00:04:49,201 --> 00:04:50,202
[clears throat]
107
00:04:51,029 --> 00:04:52,857
I'm the Pure Evil One.
108
00:04:56,383 --> 00:04:58,646
At least I will be,
once you deliver me
109
00:04:58,689 --> 00:05:00,778
the Book of Pure Evil.
Questions? Comments? Praise?
110
00:05:01,388 --> 00:05:02,867
Yeah, let's start
with Minion George.
111
00:05:02,911 --> 00:05:05,174
If this is a joke,
I don't get it.
112
00:05:05,217 --> 00:05:06,480
No.
Not a joke.
113
00:05:06,523 --> 00:05:08,743
Okay, you're trying
to set up a bigger joke.
114
00:05:08,786 --> 00:05:10,048
Yeah, like a prank!
115
00:05:10,092 --> 00:05:13,182
Look, I just told you guys
I'm the Pure Evil One.
116
00:05:13,225 --> 00:05:14,749
That's...big news!
117
00:05:14,792 --> 00:05:19,362
I thought somebody...
would be excited by that?
118
00:05:19,406 --> 00:05:21,538
Did you just say
you want us
119
00:05:21,582 --> 00:05:23,758
to get you
the Book of Pure Evil?
120
00:05:23,801 --> 00:05:25,368
Because we haven't
been outside
121
00:05:25,412 --> 00:05:27,762
of this home
in almost twenty years.
122
00:05:27,805 --> 00:05:30,242
[laughing]
You're all so useless!
123
00:05:30,808 --> 00:05:32,636
That includes you,
Minion Fred.
124
00:05:33,028 --> 00:05:34,638
Atticus: I'll find
the book myself!
125
00:05:37,946 --> 00:05:39,251
What a dipshit!
126
00:05:39,295 --> 00:05:41,384
[laughing]
127
00:05:41,428 --> 00:05:43,821
You'll fit in
just fine, Minion Fred!
128
00:05:46,433 --> 00:05:47,782
So our goals
should be:
129
00:05:47,825 --> 00:05:49,392
get the Book before
Atticus does.
130
00:05:49,436 --> 00:05:51,873
And destroy the Book
before Todd becomes--
131
00:05:52,264 --> 00:05:54,049
[whispering]
The Pure Evil One.
132
00:05:54,092 --> 00:05:55,529
Thanks for the reminder,
Hannah.
133
00:05:56,617 --> 00:05:58,009
I think
he heard you.
134
00:05:58,053 --> 00:06:00,490
Sorry, Todd, but it's something
we have to deal with
135
00:06:00,534 --> 00:06:01,796
before you hurt
anyone else.
136
00:06:01,839 --> 00:06:03,014
OW!
137
00:06:03,058 --> 00:06:04,799
Your arm's made
of metal, idiot!
138
00:06:04,842 --> 00:06:06,235
You shorted out
my arm!
139
00:06:06,278 --> 00:06:07,584
Okay,
careful where you--
140
00:06:07,628 --> 00:06:08,629
WHACK!
141
00:06:09,847 --> 00:06:10,935
CURTIS!
142
00:06:11,414 --> 00:06:12,589
Aim that.
143
00:06:12,633 --> 00:06:14,809
Sorry, I didn't mean
to fist your dad.
144
00:06:14,852 --> 00:06:17,464
That metal arm is dangerous!
It could kill somebody!
145
00:06:19,074 --> 00:06:20,510
I'm the one
that's dangerous.
146
00:06:21,076 --> 00:06:23,252
I mean, I almost killed
my best friend.
147
00:06:23,295 --> 00:06:25,950
After I tried
to kill you, dude.
148
00:06:26,647 --> 00:06:27,952
Let's call it even.
149
00:06:27,996 --> 00:06:29,693
No you were under
the book's power.
150
00:06:29,737 --> 00:06:31,042
I wasn't.
151
00:06:31,086 --> 00:06:34,611
Look, even if we get
the Book before Atticus,
152
00:06:34,655 --> 00:06:36,265
there's no way
to destroy it.
153
00:06:36,308 --> 00:06:38,702
And if I really become
the Pure Evil One--
154
00:06:39,442 --> 00:06:41,618
I don't want you guys
around when that happens.
155
00:06:41,662 --> 00:06:44,055
Maybe if we find out
more about the Prophecy
156
00:06:44,099 --> 00:06:45,579
we can stop that
from happening.
157
00:06:46,884 --> 00:06:49,234
It's time for me
to be my own dude.
158
00:06:53,325 --> 00:06:54,936
I need
to do this alone.
159
00:06:55,676 --> 00:06:56,677
Todd!
160
00:06:57,112 --> 00:06:58,330
Todd, wait!
161
00:06:59,331 --> 00:07:00,507
We love you!
162
00:07:05,512 --> 00:07:07,383
Did Todd just
break up with us?
163
00:07:18,133 --> 00:07:19,395
[Brody whistling]
164
00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:21,658
Nice robe,
sweater dude!
165
00:07:21,702 --> 00:07:23,660
Oh, I keep forgetting
to take this off--
166
00:07:23,704 --> 00:07:25,488
It looks great.
Really.
167
00:07:25,532 --> 00:07:26,837
Totally flattering.
168
00:07:29,927 --> 00:07:30,885
Really?
169
00:07:30,928 --> 00:07:31,929
Loser.
170
00:07:33,148 --> 00:07:35,150
I'm getting mixed messages
from you guys.
171
00:07:35,542 --> 00:07:36,891
He's not easily
impressed.
172
00:07:36,934 --> 00:07:38,458
Oh, you'll be
impressed soon enough.
173
00:07:38,501 --> 00:07:40,460
You all will
when I lay my hands
174
00:07:40,503 --> 00:07:42,940
on the Book Of Pure Evil
and complete my ascendence
175
00:07:42,984 --> 00:07:44,507
to become
the Pure Evil One.
176
00:07:45,160 --> 00:07:46,596
Brody:
Just remember--
177
00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:48,990
Only the Pure Evil One can
control the power of the book.
178
00:07:49,381 --> 00:07:50,861
Yes, me.
And only me.
179
00:07:51,732 --> 00:07:53,168
Who is who I am.
180
00:07:54,386 --> 00:07:56,345
Yeah, you might want
to lose the robe
181
00:07:56,388 --> 00:07:57,912
before you go
into the school.
182
00:07:59,391 --> 00:08:01,568
Fuck! Keep forgetting
to take this thing off!
183
00:08:02,830 --> 00:08:05,485
[laughing]
184
00:08:14,755 --> 00:08:16,147
Hi. I'm Leslie!
185
00:08:16,191 --> 00:08:17,540
What's your name?
186
00:08:17,584 --> 00:08:20,282
Uh, my name is "Get out
of my face, fannypack."
187
00:08:21,675 --> 00:08:23,677
Would you like
to be my friend?
188
00:08:28,682 --> 00:08:31,162
Yeah! I'm like so glad
we're friends now!
189
00:08:31,989 --> 00:08:34,209
You and I are gonna
be very close.
190
00:08:37,212 --> 00:08:39,040
Would you like
to be my friend?
191
00:08:39,606 --> 00:08:40,607
What?
192
00:08:46,613 --> 00:08:47,527
Hello, Todd.
193
00:08:47,570 --> 00:08:48,397
Oh great--
194
00:08:48,440 --> 00:08:49,746
So glad
I bumped into you.
195
00:08:49,790 --> 00:08:51,574
I've got a big
surprise for you.
196
00:08:51,618 --> 00:08:53,663
But I can't tell
you what it is,
197
00:08:53,707 --> 00:08:55,665
because I want it
to stay a surprise,
198
00:08:55,709 --> 00:08:57,667
so you'll be surprised
when you hear it.
199
00:08:57,711 --> 00:08:58,799
What?
200
00:08:58,842 --> 00:08:59,930
I'm gonna destroy
your little Gang!
201
00:09:01,802 --> 00:09:03,194
There is no
Gang anymore.
202
00:09:03,238 --> 00:09:04,456
It's just me and you.
203
00:09:04,500 --> 00:09:06,676
And I'm gonna find
the Book before you do.
204
00:09:06,720 --> 00:09:08,199
Then I'm gonna
kick your ass.
205
00:09:08,243 --> 00:09:09,244
Believe me,
206
00:09:09,287 --> 00:09:11,159
my ass can take
a lot of pounding.
207
00:09:12,247 --> 00:09:14,684
I didn't say pound.
I said kick.
208
00:09:15,032 --> 00:09:16,468
Same thing.
209
00:09:16,512 --> 00:09:18,906
No, it--
It really isn't.
210
00:09:18,949 --> 00:09:20,560
Yeah--
It is.
211
00:09:21,256 --> 00:09:22,779
Fine.
Have it your way.
212
00:09:22,823 --> 00:09:25,216
I'm still gonna find
the Book before you do.
213
00:09:25,260 --> 00:09:27,610
Oh, I'll find the book
before you, Todd Smith!
214
00:09:27,654 --> 00:09:30,178
And I'll be waiting
with anticipation!
215
00:09:30,744 --> 00:09:32,484
For that
ass-pounding.
216
00:09:36,271 --> 00:09:38,099
Atticus:
Who has the book this time?
217
00:09:39,056 --> 00:09:41,189
Is it the makeup face
children?
218
00:09:43,060 --> 00:09:44,975
Is it the pornographic
fantasy ladies?
219
00:09:48,283 --> 00:09:50,285
Is it the preppy bags
of douche?
220
00:09:50,677 --> 00:09:52,026
You were so right,
Leslie!
221
00:09:52,069 --> 00:09:53,593
Trading sandwiches
makes them taste better!
222
00:09:54,071 --> 00:09:56,030
I like it when there's
too much sandwich!
223
00:09:56,073 --> 00:09:57,684
Double-meat
sandwiches, wow!
224
00:09:58,075 --> 00:10:00,251
I make fancy sandwiches
for my dog!
225
00:10:00,295 --> 00:10:01,905
Would you people
keep it down?!
226
00:10:03,298 --> 00:10:04,734
Curtis: I'm really worried
about Todd.
227
00:10:04,778 --> 00:10:06,736
What if he is
the Pure Evil One?
228
00:10:06,780 --> 00:10:08,346
What if he can't
control himself?
229
00:10:08,390 --> 00:10:10,914
I saw him lose control
and almost kill you.
230
00:10:11,654 --> 00:10:13,438
You know, Hannah,
you look really sexy
231
00:10:13,482 --> 00:10:14,309
when you're scared.
232
00:10:14,352 --> 00:10:15,702
I'm not scared,
I'm just--
233
00:10:17,312 --> 00:10:19,053
What?
You think I'm sexy?
234
00:10:20,532 --> 00:10:21,533
Totally.
235
00:10:22,883 --> 00:10:25,276
I've never been
called sexy before.
236
00:10:25,320 --> 00:10:26,930
I don't know how
to react.
237
00:10:26,974 --> 00:10:28,279
So many
new emotions.
238
00:10:28,323 --> 00:10:29,672
Say it again?
239
00:10:29,716 --> 00:10:30,717
You're sexy.
240
00:10:33,328 --> 00:10:35,286
I could get used
to that word.
241
00:10:35,330 --> 00:10:36,331
Sexy--
242
00:10:37,549 --> 00:10:39,856
How about
super-sexy?
243
00:10:39,900 --> 00:10:42,337
Oh...that's
even better.
244
00:10:43,904 --> 00:10:46,123
How 'bout...
ultra humpable?
245
00:10:46,558 --> 00:10:48,517
Let's stick
with super-sexy.
246
00:10:48,560 --> 00:10:49,561
Hey guys!
247
00:10:51,912 --> 00:10:53,565
Do you wanna be
my friends?
248
00:10:55,742 --> 00:10:57,657
Friends
to the end!
249
00:10:58,570 --> 00:10:59,746
Ahhhhhhhh!
250
00:11:04,315 --> 00:11:05,882
Todd:
First, I had the Book--
251
00:11:05,926 --> 00:11:07,710
Then Hannah
had the Book--
252
00:11:07,754 --> 00:11:09,581
Then there was
Tiny Todd--
253
00:11:09,886 --> 00:11:10,757
And then--
254
00:11:10,800 --> 00:11:12,759
Oh, right!
Sexy twins.
255
00:11:16,937 --> 00:11:19,200
Were the sexy twins
before or after Tiny Todd?
256
00:11:19,243 --> 00:11:20,941
Male: Who wants
to eat a hoagie?!
257
00:11:20,984 --> 00:11:22,203
Female: I do, I do!
258
00:11:22,246 --> 00:11:23,204
Male: Love meat fries!
259
00:11:23,247 --> 00:11:24,292
Female: Me too!
260
00:11:24,335 --> 00:11:25,815
Hey, will you people
keep it down!
261
00:11:25,859 --> 00:11:27,861
Female: I love meatballs!
Meatballs are the best!
262
00:11:33,780 --> 00:11:36,130
Me again, Hannah.
Where are you guys??
263
00:11:36,173 --> 00:11:37,392
Call me!
264
00:11:41,788 --> 00:11:43,398
Something's
not right.
265
00:11:45,356 --> 00:11:46,183
EW!
266
00:11:46,227 --> 00:11:48,185
Knock it off,
assholes!
267
00:11:50,187 --> 00:11:51,449
Mr. Gunderson:
Okey dokey,
268
00:11:51,493 --> 00:11:53,060
Yesterday we left off
discussing palm reading
269
00:11:53,103 --> 00:11:55,540
and I thought, uh--
270
00:11:55,584 --> 00:11:57,325
What the hell is that?
271
00:11:57,368 --> 00:11:59,370
This is my Dad,
Mr. Gunderson.
272
00:11:59,414 --> 00:12:00,763
Yeeeah...
I don't wanna know.
273
00:12:00,807 --> 00:12:02,983
I just want you
to take the old man
274
00:12:03,026 --> 00:12:04,767
in the wheelchair
out of this classroom.
275
00:12:04,811 --> 00:12:06,508
I have nowhere else
to put him.
276
00:12:06,551 --> 00:12:07,291
Not my problem!
277
00:12:07,335 --> 00:12:08,945
He's creeping...me out.
278
00:12:08,989 --> 00:12:10,425
Anyone else
feel the same?
279
00:12:13,210 --> 00:12:14,211
I'm sorry, Jenny.
280
00:12:14,646 --> 00:12:16,039
Democracy
has spoken.
281
00:12:16,997 --> 00:12:18,650
Stupid democracy--
282
00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:21,828
That's not even
a fucking subject!
283
00:12:25,614 --> 00:12:28,182
Hannah: Whoever invented the
sandwich is a very smart person
284
00:12:28,225 --> 00:12:30,706
Curtis: What if we put
a sandwich inside a sandwich??
285
00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:32,752
I've been looking
everywhere for you guys!
286
00:12:34,971 --> 00:12:36,451
Wanna be friends?
287
00:12:37,017 --> 00:12:39,410
Oh my...fuck--
288
00:12:40,237 --> 00:12:42,239
Ahhhhhhhh!
289
00:12:52,641 --> 00:12:54,208
You look a little
frazzled, dude.
290
00:12:54,251 --> 00:12:55,209
What's up?
291
00:12:55,252 --> 00:12:57,254
Oh--
Hey, Jimmy.
292
00:12:57,646 --> 00:12:59,213
I'm just looking
for the Book.
293
00:12:59,866 --> 00:13:01,824
Isn't that what
that Gang is for?
294
00:13:01,868 --> 00:13:03,913
I sort of...
broke up with the Gang.
295
00:13:04,871 --> 00:13:06,002
How come?
296
00:13:06,046 --> 00:13:07,438
Well, they're
afraid of me,
297
00:13:07,482 --> 00:13:09,397
and maybe
they should be.
298
00:13:09,440 --> 00:13:12,226
They don't wanna hang out
with you anymore, I get it--
299
00:13:12,269 --> 00:13:14,228
No, no, they wanna
hang out with me.
300
00:13:14,271 --> 00:13:15,272
They do--
301
00:13:15,316 --> 00:13:16,578
Alright, then what's
the problem?
302
00:13:16,621 --> 00:13:18,928
I'm afraid that if they
keep hanging out with me
303
00:13:18,972 --> 00:13:20,625
they're gonna like--
304
00:13:21,278 --> 00:13:22,366
Die.
305
00:13:22,410 --> 00:13:24,325
So I'm thinking it might
be better for me
306
00:13:24,368 --> 00:13:26,240
to just kinda
go off on my own.
307
00:13:26,283 --> 00:13:28,329
You know,
like a lone wolf.
308
00:13:28,372 --> 00:13:30,026
Alright, lone wolf
sounds cool.
309
00:13:30,070 --> 00:13:32,159
Yeah, but it's
actually kinda lonely.
310
00:13:32,202 --> 00:13:34,030
Well, you'll get
used to it, though.
311
00:13:34,074 --> 00:13:36,119
And jerking off
a lot, right?
312
00:13:37,468 --> 00:13:40,036
Alright lone wolf,
I'm gonna let you be--
313
00:13:40,080 --> 00:13:41,864
Hey, uh, if you're
not doing anything
314
00:13:41,908 --> 00:13:44,867
maybe you and I
could...hang out.
315
00:13:46,477 --> 00:13:47,957
Aren't we friends?
316
00:13:48,001 --> 00:13:49,002
Yeah.
317
00:13:50,481 --> 00:13:51,482
Oh--
318
00:13:53,310 --> 00:13:54,877
Yeah, the--
[clears throat]
319
00:13:54,921 --> 00:13:57,749
I guess the best thing
for you Jimmy is to--
320
00:13:58,750 --> 00:13:59,839
Stay away from me.
321
00:14:00,970 --> 00:14:02,102
Alright,
suit yourself.
322
00:14:13,504 --> 00:14:15,463
[laughing]
323
00:14:15,506 --> 00:14:18,292
Hey you guys, you know
what we should all do tonight??
324
00:14:18,335 --> 00:14:19,771
Have a sleepover!
325
00:14:20,120 --> 00:14:21,643
That sounds like
so much fun!
326
00:14:21,686 --> 00:14:23,471
We should do it
at Leslie's house!
327
00:14:23,514 --> 00:14:24,907
Everybody bring
their pajamas!
328
00:14:24,951 --> 00:14:25,995
Or, not--
329
00:14:27,649 --> 00:14:29,912
It's been really great having
all these new friends and all
330
00:14:29,956 --> 00:14:32,697
but I think I might need
a little time to myself.
331
00:14:32,741 --> 00:14:34,177
Why would you
want that, Leslie?
332
00:14:34,221 --> 00:14:35,483
We're all here
for you!
333
00:14:35,526 --> 00:14:37,485
No really,
I just need some space--
334
00:14:37,528 --> 00:14:40,096
Why would you go anywhere
without your friends, Leslie??
335
00:14:40,140 --> 00:14:41,706
Yeah, we're here
for you, Leslie!
336
00:14:41,750 --> 00:14:42,969
We're always here
for you!
337
00:14:43,012 --> 00:14:44,579
Friends to the end!
338
00:14:44,622 --> 00:14:46,233
Curtis: I'm hungry!
Can we get some corn chips?!
339
00:14:46,276 --> 00:14:47,843
How about we
order a pizza?!
340
00:14:47,887 --> 00:14:49,323
With pineapples
on it!
341
00:14:49,366 --> 00:14:50,846
And ham!
342
00:14:50,890 --> 00:14:52,326
That sounds good!
You should patent that!
343
00:14:52,369 --> 00:14:53,849
It's called
a Hawaian pizza!
344
00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:55,198
Jenny:
I like sausage!
345
00:14:55,242 --> 00:14:57,505
You can't put sausage
on a Hawaian pizza!
346
00:14:57,548 --> 00:14:59,768
You people are
driving me crazy!!!
347
00:15:00,769 --> 00:15:01,857
Holy Jupiter Shit!
348
00:15:02,553 --> 00:15:05,165
Mr. Murphy!!!
I need your help!
349
00:15:05,556 --> 00:15:07,341
Let me guess,
you have the book.
350
00:15:07,384 --> 00:15:08,995
Here!
Take it!
351
00:15:10,997 --> 00:15:12,302
Well, that was easy.
352
00:15:12,346 --> 00:15:14,217
Come on, Atticus,
be friends with us and Leslie!
353
00:15:14,261 --> 00:15:16,741
Now that I have the book
you wanna be friends?
354
00:15:16,785 --> 00:15:18,395
That ship has sailed,
bitchface!
355
00:15:19,570 --> 00:15:22,965
I mean friend-face!
Hahahahaha!
356
00:15:25,794 --> 00:15:26,795
Todd: Hello?
357
00:15:28,536 --> 00:15:29,885
Is anyone there?
358
00:15:31,582 --> 00:15:32,714
Curtis: Hey Todd!
359
00:15:32,757 --> 00:15:34,194
Come and join
The Student Body!
360
00:15:34,585 --> 00:15:35,760
Look, a new friend!
361
00:15:35,804 --> 00:15:37,066
Hannah: We always
need more boys!
362
00:15:37,110 --> 00:15:38,372
Jenny:
And I like sausage!
363
00:15:38,415 --> 00:15:39,808
Hannah:
I like pineapple!
364
00:15:40,809 --> 00:15:42,811
Holy...shit.
365
00:15:43,377 --> 00:15:45,553
I'm surprised that
this doesn't surprise me.
366
00:15:45,596 --> 00:15:47,990
Atticus: Look, it's my favorite
nemesis, Todd Smith!
367
00:15:48,034 --> 00:15:49,296
And you've
got the book.
368
00:15:49,339 --> 00:15:51,298
I'll show you
the power of Pure Evil
369
00:15:51,341 --> 00:15:52,299
after our
pizza sleepover!
370
00:15:52,342 --> 00:15:53,953
We're still doing that,
right?
371
00:15:54,605 --> 00:15:55,563
Leslie:
Help me!
372
00:15:55,606 --> 00:15:57,130
All I wanted
was some friends!
373
00:15:57,173 --> 00:15:58,566
But they're
smothering me!
374
00:15:58,609 --> 00:16:00,307
You don't mean that,
do you Leslie?
375
00:16:00,350 --> 00:16:01,830
That's what
I love about Leslie!
376
00:16:01,873 --> 00:16:03,440
She's such
a kidder!
377
00:16:03,484 --> 00:16:05,703
Curtis: Leslie, you really
have a great sense of humor!
378
00:16:05,747 --> 00:16:06,356
[flesh tearing]
379
00:16:06,400 --> 00:16:07,401
Leslie: Ahhhhhh!
380
00:16:07,444 --> 00:16:08,793
And a great scream.
381
00:16:08,837 --> 00:16:09,925
So true!
382
00:16:09,969 --> 00:16:11,318
You know, you guys
are really making
383
00:16:11,361 --> 00:16:12,797
a great case
for membership.
384
00:16:14,060 --> 00:16:15,583
All:
Join The Student Body, Todd.
385
00:16:15,626 --> 00:16:17,585
It's so nice
in here.
386
00:16:17,628 --> 00:16:19,413
We're getting along
so wonderfully.
387
00:16:19,456 --> 00:16:21,023
No one has
to be alone.
388
00:16:21,067 --> 00:16:23,243
If being alone is
what it takes to keep
389
00:16:23,286 --> 00:16:25,506
my friends safe,
then I have to be alone.
390
00:16:25,549 --> 00:16:28,944
All: Resistance is futile.
You will be friended.
391
00:16:29,640 --> 00:16:32,078
Really?
All of you guys are friends?
392
00:16:32,121 --> 00:16:33,601
All: Friends
to the end.
393
00:16:34,863 --> 00:16:36,821
How can all
of you guys be friends?
394
00:16:36,865 --> 00:16:38,214
I mean--
395
00:16:38,258 --> 00:16:40,042
Do you guys even know
anything about each other?
396
00:16:40,477 --> 00:16:42,305
How well can anybody
know anybody?
397
00:16:42,653 --> 00:16:45,395
Yeah, your friends say
that they're there for you.
398
00:16:45,439 --> 00:16:48,050
and that they understand
what you're going through, but--
399
00:16:48,094 --> 00:16:49,704
They don't really know.
400
00:16:50,574 --> 00:16:52,924
At the end of the day...
we're all alone.
401
00:16:53,664 --> 00:16:55,623
Or in Elliot's case,
alone under the bleachers
402
00:16:55,666 --> 00:16:57,625
jerking off to Wanda doing
her cheerleading routine.
403
00:16:57,668 --> 00:16:59,496
What?!
Gross!
404
00:17:00,106 --> 00:17:01,411
You know
what's gross?
405
00:17:01,455 --> 00:17:02,847
The smell after Curtis
leaves the washroom!
406
00:17:02,891 --> 00:17:04,197
That's true.
407
00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:05,850
Hey, that's my boyfriend
you're talking about!
408
00:17:05,894 --> 00:17:07,896
You actually got somebody
to go out with you?!
409
00:17:07,939 --> 00:17:09,376
Hannah: Shut up!
That's so rude!
410
00:17:09,419 --> 00:17:11,117
At least they don't
call her margarine.
411
00:17:11,160 --> 00:17:12,031
All: Huh?
412
00:17:12,074 --> 00:17:13,075
Because she
spreads easy.
413
00:17:13,119 --> 00:17:16,078
[laughing]
414
00:17:16,122 --> 00:17:18,254
You suck!
You all suck!
415
00:17:18,298 --> 00:17:19,995
You know who's
the worst? Leslie!
416
00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:21,214
All: YEAH!!!
417
00:17:21,257 --> 00:17:22,215
She acts like she's
friends with everyone,
418
00:17:22,258 --> 00:17:23,999
we don't even know
who she is!
419
00:17:24,043 --> 00:17:25,087
Yeah--
420
00:17:25,131 --> 00:17:28,003
[students talking]
421
00:17:28,047 --> 00:17:29,700
Leslie: Oooooow!!!
422
00:17:29,744 --> 00:17:30,745
Aw--
423
00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:35,097
[students grumbling]
424
00:17:35,141 --> 00:17:37,230
No, no!
Please, no!!!
425
00:17:39,145 --> 00:17:41,843
[students groaning]
426
00:17:41,886 --> 00:17:43,801
I hate teenagers!!!
427
00:17:44,150 --> 00:17:46,674
[flesh tearing]
428
00:17:46,717 --> 00:17:48,502
You're tearing me apart!
429
00:17:48,545 --> 00:17:50,634
LITERALLY!
430
00:17:50,678 --> 00:17:52,245
AHHHHHHH!
431
00:17:52,288 --> 00:17:56,945
[blood spraying]
432
00:17:59,078 --> 00:18:06,128
[students groaning]
433
00:18:06,172 --> 00:18:07,782
Holy Jupiter Shit--
What just happened?
434
00:18:12,569 --> 00:18:15,050
Let go of the Book, Atticus!
It will destroy you!
435
00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:17,313
No, you will be the one
who is destroyed.
436
00:18:17,357 --> 00:18:18,184
By me!
437
00:18:18,227 --> 00:18:19,707
You can't control
its power!
438
00:18:19,750 --> 00:18:21,535
That's what you think
but you're wrong!
439
00:18:21,578 --> 00:18:23,667
I feel the Book's power
pulsating through me--
440
00:18:24,581 --> 00:18:25,713
Me too--
441
00:18:25,756 --> 00:18:27,889
Pulsing!
It's not just you--
442
00:18:27,932 --> 00:18:29,325
I think I can--
443
00:18:29,369 --> 00:18:31,153
I think I can
control it--
444
00:18:31,197 --> 00:18:32,720
Yes...
445
00:18:32,763 --> 00:18:34,548
[Evil Todd]
Yes, I know I can--
446
00:18:34,591 --> 00:18:35,723
[energy pulsing]
447
00:18:35,766 --> 00:18:36,854
No, it is me!
448
00:18:36,898 --> 00:18:38,813
I am the one
who controls it!
449
00:18:40,989 --> 00:18:42,512
They're getting
all Pure Evil-ey--
450
00:18:42,556 --> 00:18:44,471
Todd's a bit more
convincing.
451
00:18:44,775 --> 00:18:46,386
Jenny:
Todd, listen to me!
452
00:18:47,996 --> 00:18:49,563
You don't need
that Book.
453
00:18:49,606 --> 00:18:51,652
What else do I have
going for me?
454
00:18:51,695 --> 00:18:53,958
None of you trust me.
And why should you?
455
00:18:54,002 --> 00:18:56,396
I'm always getting you into
danger, risking your lives--
456
00:18:57,005 --> 00:19:00,139
The Book Of Pure Evil...
is my only true friend.
457
00:19:00,791 --> 00:19:03,620
NO, the Book
is my friend!
458
00:19:03,664 --> 00:19:05,970
That's not true Todd.
You have us.
459
00:19:06,014 --> 00:19:07,755
You don't have
to do this.
460
00:19:07,798 --> 00:19:09,060
Hannah:
We'll save you, Todd!
461
00:19:09,104 --> 00:19:10,714
Curtis:
All of us, together!
462
00:19:13,021 --> 00:19:14,762
I can't
stop destiny.
463
00:19:17,243 --> 00:19:18,200
THUD!
464
00:19:20,811 --> 00:19:25,468
[energy pulsing]
465
00:19:28,254 --> 00:19:29,342
TODD, NO!!!
466
00:19:37,437 --> 00:19:38,438
Ugh!
467
00:19:40,831 --> 00:19:42,572
You haven't heard
the last of me!
468
00:19:43,660 --> 00:19:45,009
I still work here!
469
00:19:45,053 --> 00:19:46,837
Every day,
eight AM!
470
00:19:46,881 --> 00:19:48,839
I'm here to make
your lives hell!
471
00:19:49,927 --> 00:19:50,928
Uhhh!
472
00:19:56,064 --> 00:19:57,196
Are you okay, dude?
473
00:19:58,849 --> 00:20:00,590
I was gonna use
the Book again.
474
00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:03,811
I couldn't
stop myself.
475
00:20:03,854 --> 00:20:05,421
Jenny: That's
why you have us.
476
00:20:05,465 --> 00:20:06,901
To save you
from yourself.
477
00:20:10,078 --> 00:20:11,079
I guess--
478
00:20:12,515 --> 00:20:14,648
I can't really fight the Book
without you guys, huh?
479
00:20:14,691 --> 00:20:15,562
Nope.
480
00:20:15,605 --> 00:20:17,041
And you
don't have to.
481
00:20:19,870 --> 00:20:21,829
Hey, it's like we're
The Student Body.
482
00:20:21,872 --> 00:20:23,483
But in a good way.
483
00:20:26,877 --> 00:20:28,139
Now that we're
back together,
484
00:20:28,183 --> 00:20:29,880
what do you guys
want to do?
485
00:20:29,924 --> 00:20:31,186
Throw rocks
over the overpass?
486
00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:32,448
Todd: Yeah!
487
00:20:32,492 --> 00:20:34,189
Uh...shouldn't we be
looking for the book?
488
00:20:35,886 --> 00:20:37,192
What was up
with Atticus?
489
00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:39,020
He's just doing
what he always does--
490
00:20:39,063 --> 00:20:40,848
Trying to get
the book and stuff.
491
00:20:40,891 --> 00:20:43,851
Why do I feel like
I'm forgetting something?
492
00:20:43,894 --> 00:20:45,287
[Pat groaning]
493
00:20:45,331 --> 00:20:46,375
Jennifer!
494
00:20:47,202 --> 00:20:48,203
Dad?!
495
00:20:48,899 --> 00:20:49,900
Ugh--
496
00:20:51,685 --> 00:20:52,642
Blasphemy!
497
00:20:52,686 --> 00:20:54,557
He thinks he's
the Pure Evil One!
498
00:20:54,601 --> 00:20:56,255
Either he's insane
or else he's
499
00:20:56,298 --> 00:20:58,300
an even bigger idiot
than we ever imagined.
500
00:20:58,344 --> 00:21:00,433
Could be 50/50,
Dave.
501
00:21:00,476 --> 00:21:04,088
We cannot allow
this farce to continue
502
00:21:04,132 --> 00:21:05,960
even if he is our
Hooded Leader!
503
00:21:06,352 --> 00:21:09,006
Drastic measures
must be taken.
504
00:21:09,311 --> 00:21:10,443
Sodomy!!!
505
00:21:10,486 --> 00:21:12,575
Let's not be
too hasty.
506
00:21:12,619 --> 00:21:15,361
He's still the only one who
can deliver us the Book.
507
00:21:15,404 --> 00:21:17,580
My knees can't keep up
with all this running around.
508
00:21:17,624 --> 00:21:19,365
If he delivers it.
509
00:21:19,408 --> 00:21:22,455
He has before.
I'm certain he will again.
510
00:21:22,498 --> 00:21:24,544
And then what do
we do with him?
511
00:21:24,587 --> 00:21:25,936
Sodomy!
512
00:21:25,980 --> 00:21:27,590
Fred, give it
a rest.
513
00:21:28,722 --> 00:21:31,899
Once Atticus brings
us the Book
514
00:21:31,942 --> 00:21:34,858
he will be
of no further use to us.
515
00:21:34,902 --> 00:21:38,949
Which means...
death to all false prophets.
516
00:21:40,516 --> 00:21:42,431
And then sodomy?
35249
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