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1
00:00:09,977 --> 00:00:12,080
[ silenced gunshots ]
2
00:00:22,656 --> 00:00:24,492
[ gunshots continue ]
3
00:00:30,798 --> 00:00:31,965
[ gun cocks ]
4
00:00:32,032 --> 00:00:33,367
[ chamber clicking ]
5
00:00:33,434 --> 00:00:34,235
[ gunshot ]
6
00:00:34,302 --> 00:00:36,537
Little kids?
Are you serious?
7
00:00:36,604 --> 00:00:38,906
The junior officers program
Is the chief's priority.
8
00:00:38,972 --> 00:00:41,942
It encourages children
To explore a career
In law enforcement.
9
00:00:42,009 --> 00:00:43,444
Okay, but they're 10.
10
00:00:43,511 --> 00:00:47,081
They're probably also exploring
Careers as superheroes.
11
00:00:47,148 --> 00:00:48,982
Okay, bailey, look,
I've got work to do, okay?
12
00:00:49,049 --> 00:00:50,484
So please go now
And be inspired
13
00:00:50,551 --> 00:00:52,253
By, you know,
The light in their eyes.
14
00:00:52,320 --> 00:00:54,222
With all due respect,
15
00:00:54,288 --> 00:00:58,159
Are you absolutely sure
You want dan stark --
16
00:00:58,226 --> 00:01:01,395
Dan stark --
Dealing with children?
17
00:01:01,462 --> 00:01:02,530
No offense.
18
00:01:02,596 --> 00:01:03,631
None taken.
19
00:01:03,697 --> 00:01:04,732
Jack, don't ask me how,
20
00:01:04,798 --> 00:01:07,301
But junior officers
That work with dan stark
21
00:01:07,368 --> 00:01:10,104
Become cops at a rate
That can only be described as...
22
00:01:10,171 --> 00:01:11,739
Alarming.
23
00:01:11,805 --> 00:01:13,407
Really?!
Really.
24
00:01:13,474 --> 00:01:14,642
It's easy.
25
00:01:14,708 --> 00:01:17,111
See, you deal with kids the same
Way you deal with adults.
26
00:01:17,178 --> 00:01:18,879
It's just, they're, you know,
Short and broke.
27
00:01:18,946 --> 00:01:20,781
Come on, partner.
28
00:01:20,848 --> 00:01:22,850
Let's go shoot the crap
Out of some damn destinies.
29
00:01:22,916 --> 00:01:23,951
Come on.
30
00:01:24,017 --> 00:01:26,154
[ gunshot ]
31
00:01:46,006 --> 00:01:48,809
I'm not gonna lie to you,
Little dudes, little dudettes.
32
00:01:48,876 --> 00:01:52,012
Being a cop is just about
The best thing...
33
00:01:52,079 --> 00:01:53,514
In the whole world.
34
00:01:53,581 --> 00:01:55,149
Now -- aaah!
35
00:01:55,216 --> 00:01:56,650
Son of a bitch!
36
00:01:56,717 --> 00:01:57,785
Jack!
Jack: yeah?
37
00:01:57,851 --> 00:01:58,919
Get me down.
38
00:01:58,986 --> 00:02:00,621
Oh! Stiff.
39
00:02:00,688 --> 00:02:01,489
You all right?
40
00:02:01,555 --> 00:02:03,056
I'm good.
Uh...Where was I?
41
00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:04,392
Being a cop rules.
42
00:02:04,458 --> 00:02:05,526
You got that right,
Kingley!
43
00:02:05,593 --> 00:02:07,695
Here's the deal,
Little mini-peoples.
44
00:02:07,761 --> 00:02:10,998
When you're a cop, you get to
Drive a car as fast as you want,
45
00:02:11,064 --> 00:02:12,666
You get to shoot
A real gun,
46
00:02:12,733 --> 00:02:15,002
You get to see a movie
For free if you want to!
47
00:02:15,068 --> 00:02:16,404
You just walk up
To the theater,
48
00:02:16,470 --> 00:02:18,105
You say,
"Hey, I'm following a perp."
49
00:02:18,172 --> 00:02:19,173
Uh, dan --
50
00:02:19,240 --> 00:02:20,508
Uh, kids,
That is not true.
51
00:02:20,574 --> 00:02:22,576
The police officers
Want to go to the movies,
52
00:02:22,643 --> 00:02:25,379
They have to pay,
Just like everybody else.
53
00:02:25,446 --> 00:02:27,548
Kid #1: aw, man!
Kid #2: boo!
54
00:02:27,615 --> 00:02:30,451
Yeah, okay, maybe the uniformed
Officers pay for movies,
55
00:02:30,518 --> 00:02:33,354
But I myself, I'm a detective.
I do not pay for movies.
56
00:02:33,421 --> 00:02:36,156
I want a coke
With that popcorn -- bam!
57
00:02:36,224 --> 00:02:37,358
Flash my badge.
58
00:02:37,425 --> 00:02:38,992
Dan, can I speak with you
For a moment?
59
00:02:39,059 --> 00:02:41,262
Hang on one sec.
[ grunts ]
60
00:02:41,329 --> 00:02:45,399
Uh, I don't think
Encouraging these, uh...
61
00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:50,070
...Uh, adorable, little tykes
To commit fraud is really the --
62
00:02:50,137 --> 00:02:52,340
The good example
That we want to set today.
63
00:02:52,406 --> 00:02:53,607
Learn from me, jacko.
64
00:02:53,674 --> 00:02:55,709
Women love a guy
Who's good with kids.
65
00:02:55,776 --> 00:02:57,778
So, you play
Your cards right here,
66
00:02:57,845 --> 00:02:59,980
You could get back sack-side
With lizzie.
67
00:03:00,047 --> 00:03:01,582
Yeah, okay.
Okay?
68
00:03:01,649 --> 00:03:02,583
Uh, hey, kids.
69
00:03:02,650 --> 00:03:06,153
So, my partner,
Detective dan, is right.
70
00:03:06,220 --> 00:03:09,523
Being a police officer
Can be rewarding.
71
00:03:09,590 --> 00:03:13,494
But it can also be
Really challenging, okay?
72
00:03:13,561 --> 00:03:17,298
Police officers need to know
About the law,
73
00:03:17,365 --> 00:03:19,300
About science, math --
74
00:03:19,367 --> 00:03:21,435
Okay! Detective jack,
Thank you, thank you.
75
00:03:21,502 --> 00:03:22,670
You know, that's good.
76
00:03:22,736 --> 00:03:25,205
He is warning you,
There are some boring parts.
77
00:03:25,273 --> 00:03:27,040
But mostly, being a cop,
78
00:03:27,107 --> 00:03:28,609
It-it's just --
It's like being a kid!
79
00:03:28,676 --> 00:03:31,579
Except the guns are real,
The cars are fast!
80
00:03:31,645 --> 00:03:33,914
You're getting paid
To do it!
81
00:03:33,981 --> 00:03:36,484
We don't have a lot of time,
Cadets, so, uh, take a knee.
82
00:03:36,550 --> 00:03:38,118
Here's the dealio.
[ groans ]
83
00:03:38,185 --> 00:03:39,553
You want to be a cop,
84
00:03:39,620 --> 00:03:42,390
You got to avoid...
I'll call them the "Bad roads."
85
00:03:42,456 --> 00:03:44,692
Now, what do I mean
By "Bad road"? Crime!
86
00:03:44,758 --> 00:03:47,227
There's the road of crime
Over there. Avoid it.
87
00:03:47,295 --> 00:03:48,729
What's another bad road?
88
00:03:48,796 --> 00:03:51,532
Stay away from the drugs.
Avoid.
89
00:03:51,599 --> 00:03:53,967
But there is one road that most
Adults won't warn you about,
90
00:03:54,034 --> 00:03:55,469
And it's this --
91
00:03:55,536 --> 00:03:57,638
Working in an office!
92
00:03:57,705 --> 00:03:58,972
Your entire life
93
00:03:59,039 --> 00:04:02,376
Filling out forms,
Dealing with files and whatnot.
94
00:04:02,443 --> 00:04:04,144
Take it from me, kids --
95
00:04:04,211 --> 00:04:06,980
Do not become
A paper-pusher.
96
00:04:08,982 --> 00:04:10,083
[ gun cocks ]
97
00:04:10,150 --> 00:04:11,685
Man:
Come on, perry.
98
00:04:11,752 --> 00:04:14,054
I asked for a printout of
That database over an hour ago.
99
00:04:14,121 --> 00:04:17,325
Is there a reason I had
To leave the comfort
Of my ergonomical chair
100
00:04:17,391 --> 00:04:19,760
To come down here
And beg for it again?
101
00:04:19,827 --> 00:04:22,463
I'm sorry, sir.
Uh, the system is buggy.
102
00:04:22,530 --> 00:04:24,231
Really? 'cause it's
Working fine in my office.
103
00:04:24,298 --> 00:04:26,867
[ telephone ringing ]
104
00:04:32,306 --> 00:04:34,174
Records office.
Perry speaking.
105
00:04:34,241 --> 00:04:35,476
[ sighs ]
Good.
106
00:04:36,910 --> 00:04:39,212
It's I.T.
[ chuckles ]
107
00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:41,081
I should probably
Take this.
108
00:04:41,148 --> 00:04:42,483
By all means.
109
00:04:42,550 --> 00:04:45,252
But, perry, I like my chair.
It's got lumbar support.
110
00:04:45,319 --> 00:04:46,987
Make me
Get out of it again...
111
00:04:47,054 --> 00:04:48,722
You fired.
112
00:04:48,789 --> 00:04:49,890
[chuckles]
113
00:04:52,793 --> 00:04:56,029
What are you doing, vic?!
I told you not to call me here.
114
00:04:56,096 --> 00:04:57,865
I'm in enough trouble
As it is.
115
00:04:57,931 --> 00:05:00,934
If they find out what
We're doing, I could get fired.
116
00:05:01,001 --> 00:05:02,269
Hell, I could go to jail!
117
00:05:02,336 --> 00:05:04,438
I got to go.
118
00:05:04,505 --> 00:05:06,940
People
Are getting suspicious.
119
00:05:13,113 --> 00:05:14,782
I'll call you
When it's done.
120
00:05:24,224 --> 00:05:25,993
Oh. Hey, liz.
What brings you by?
121
00:05:26,059 --> 00:05:29,129
I just had to drop off some
Witness statements to vice desk.
122
00:05:29,196 --> 00:05:31,899
It's like five feet away,
So I thought I'd say hi.
123
00:05:31,965 --> 00:05:34,902
You always...Know
The exact thing to say
124
00:05:34,968 --> 00:05:36,136
In any situation.
125
00:05:36,203 --> 00:05:37,237
Etiquette school.
126
00:05:37,304 --> 00:05:38,439
Ah, sure.
127
00:05:38,506 --> 00:05:40,808
So, jack,
I was driving by the park,
128
00:05:40,874 --> 00:05:44,044
And I could have sworn
That I saw you and mr. Dan
129
00:05:44,111 --> 00:05:45,979
Playing
With a bunch of kids.
130
00:05:46,046 --> 00:05:49,383
They're the junior officers
Of the dallas police department.
131
00:05:49,450 --> 00:05:51,552
Ruiz wants us to --
132
00:05:51,619 --> 00:05:53,821
But why
Are you smiling?
133
00:05:55,423 --> 00:05:56,724
Am I smiling?
134
00:05:56,790 --> 00:05:59,393
You are.
Y-you were, yeah.
135
00:05:59,460 --> 00:06:00,994
Well, I guess
I just, um --
136
00:06:01,061 --> 00:06:03,597
I never knew
That you liked kids so much.
137
00:06:03,664 --> 00:06:04,565
I did.
138
00:06:04,632 --> 00:06:08,301
I-I mean I do.
I love kids.
139
00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:10,003
Hm, 'cause when I think
About you and kids,
140
00:06:10,070 --> 00:06:11,772
I think about that time
We were in mexico
141
00:06:11,839 --> 00:06:13,541
And you berated that child
In broken spanish
142
00:06:13,607 --> 00:06:14,642
For quite some time.
143
00:06:14,708 --> 00:06:16,109
That's only because
I found out
144
00:06:16,176 --> 00:06:18,679
How much he was trying to charge
Me for a puka-shell necklace.
145
00:06:18,746 --> 00:06:21,415
Puka shells!
I forgot.
146
00:06:21,482 --> 00:06:24,017
All right.
I like kids. I do.
147
00:06:24,084 --> 00:06:25,953
They're, uh, our future.
148
00:06:26,019 --> 00:06:28,255
They are?
Yeah, no.
Someone wrote a song about it.
149
00:06:28,321 --> 00:06:29,857
I did not know that.
It's true.
150
00:06:29,923 --> 00:06:31,024
My only problem is,
151
00:06:31,091 --> 00:06:34,261
Is that kids have never really
Seemed to like me.
152
00:06:34,327 --> 00:06:35,796
So when they take over,
153
00:06:35,863 --> 00:06:38,966
I'm just a little worried
That I might be screwed.
154
00:06:39,032 --> 00:06:41,902
Jack, I'm sure
That they like you just fine.
155
00:06:41,969 --> 00:06:42,936
Hmm, well, maybe.
156
00:06:43,003 --> 00:06:45,238
You know
Who they love?
Who?
157
00:06:45,305 --> 00:06:46,774
You're sitting
In his chair.
158
00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:47,775
No.
159
00:06:47,841 --> 00:06:48,842
Yeah.
160
00:06:48,909 --> 00:06:52,580
Detective dan
Has a way with the mini-people.
161
00:06:52,646 --> 00:06:54,181
[ whistle blows ]
162
00:06:54,247 --> 00:06:56,984
We are at war with crime!
163
00:06:57,050 --> 00:06:59,052
And you need to be
Prepared for battle.
164
00:06:59,119 --> 00:07:01,655
Move! Move! Move!
165
00:07:03,056 --> 00:07:04,391
[ whistle blows ]
166
00:07:04,458 --> 00:07:06,860
All right, cadets,
Fall in!
167
00:07:06,927 --> 00:07:09,296
In formation!
168
00:07:09,362 --> 00:07:11,364
It's gut-check time,
Randy!
169
00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:13,567
Do you want it?!
Do you want it?!
170
00:07:13,634 --> 00:07:15,936
My name's brian.
That's the spirit!
171
00:07:16,003 --> 00:07:18,972
All right. [ clears throat ]
Let me ask you a question.
172
00:07:19,039 --> 00:07:21,274
We don't rest
Till the bad guys do.
173
00:07:21,341 --> 00:07:22,976
When do
The bad guys rest?
174
00:07:23,043 --> 00:07:24,044
Kids: never!
175
00:07:24,111 --> 00:07:26,213
Internal affairs
Comes snooping around,
176
00:07:26,279 --> 00:07:29,116
Asking questions about
Your partner, what do you say?
177
00:07:29,182 --> 00:07:32,319
I know nothing about
The incident to which you refer!
178
00:07:32,385 --> 00:07:33,353
And why is that?
179
00:07:33,420 --> 00:07:35,022
Blue sticks with blue!
180
00:07:35,088 --> 00:07:36,256
I can't hear you!
181
00:07:36,323 --> 00:07:37,791
Blue sticks with blue!
182
00:07:37,858 --> 00:07:39,660
All right!
Get down, give me 20!
183
00:07:39,727 --> 00:07:44,498
Live fire! Live fire!
There you go! All right!
184
00:07:44,565 --> 00:07:45,866
[ whistle blows ]
185
00:07:45,933 --> 00:07:48,068
Nice work!
Mandatory hydration break!
186
00:07:49,570 --> 00:07:50,671
What is this?
187
00:07:50,738 --> 00:07:51,605
Hey!
188
00:07:51,672 --> 00:07:53,907
Hey, uh, uh,
Junior academy training.
189
00:07:53,974 --> 00:07:57,244
Got to make sure these kids
Are ready when the time comes.
190
00:07:57,310 --> 00:07:58,979
When what time comes?
Puberty?
191
00:07:59,046 --> 00:08:00,548
I'm building futures
Here, jacko.
192
00:08:00,614 --> 00:08:02,015
Get out of the way,
Follow, or lead.
193
00:08:02,082 --> 00:08:03,684
I'm glad you're here, though.
We got a case.
194
00:08:03,751 --> 00:08:05,152
[ whistle blows ]
195
00:08:05,218 --> 00:08:07,955
[ in cadence ] Cadet teddy,
Present, front and center!
196
00:08:08,021 --> 00:08:08,856
Teddy: yes, sir.
197
00:08:08,922 --> 00:08:11,124
What do you mean,
You have a case?
198
00:08:11,191 --> 00:08:13,060
Kid's got a lead.
199
00:08:13,126 --> 00:08:14,995
Are you -- a lead?
200
00:08:15,062 --> 00:08:16,830
Yeah.
He's a rambly little guy.
201
00:08:16,897 --> 00:08:19,232
But he's solid,
So hear him out.
202
00:08:20,167 --> 00:08:21,334
At ease, cadet.
203
00:08:21,401 --> 00:08:23,704
Now, I want you to tell
Detective jack what you told me
204
00:08:23,771 --> 00:08:25,305
About the neighborhood
Lurker.
205
00:08:25,372 --> 00:08:27,140
Oh, yeah.
This guy was real bad.
206
00:08:27,207 --> 00:08:28,542
[ gun cocks ]
207
00:08:28,609 --> 00:08:29,843
[ chamber clicking ]
208
00:08:29,910 --> 00:08:31,945
[ gunshot ]
209
00:08:34,615 --> 00:08:37,250
[ pencil scratching ]
210
00:08:57,638 --> 00:08:59,272
[ hawks ]
211
00:08:59,339 --> 00:09:00,874
[ spits ]
212
00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:11,018
[ marker squeaks ]
213
00:09:11,084 --> 00:09:12,119
[ gun cocks ]
214
00:09:12,185 --> 00:09:13,654
[ chamber clicking ]
215
00:09:13,721 --> 00:09:15,723
You hear that, jack?
He stole mail.
216
00:09:15,789 --> 00:09:17,157
No good punk.
...Punk.
217
00:09:18,425 --> 00:09:20,661
I waited till he left,
Then collected the evidence.
218
00:09:22,529 --> 00:09:23,764
Is this a joke?
219
00:09:23,831 --> 00:09:25,633
No.
Check it out.
220
00:09:25,699 --> 00:09:27,300
Should all be
In there, sir.
221
00:09:31,739 --> 00:09:33,741
Okay,
What's with the leaf?
222
00:09:33,807 --> 00:09:35,676
It's the loogie.
It's dried up.
223
00:09:35,743 --> 00:09:38,211
Oh.
Yeah, there it is.
224
00:09:39,379 --> 00:09:41,281
You know
Who, uh, steals mail?
225
00:09:41,348 --> 00:09:43,116
Yeah.
Psychotic mailmen.
226
00:09:43,183 --> 00:09:44,251
Identity thieves.
227
00:09:44,317 --> 00:09:46,419
They steal pre-approved
Credit-card applications,
228
00:09:46,486 --> 00:09:48,055
Fill them out,
Send them in, and then
229
00:09:48,121 --> 00:09:50,590
They rack up a mountain of debt
Under someone else's name.
230
00:09:50,658 --> 00:09:52,092
This is pretty good
Police work, kid.
231
00:09:53,493 --> 00:09:55,428
I just want to wrap him up
In tin foil
232
00:09:55,495 --> 00:09:56,964
And slip him
In my pocket.
233
00:09:57,030 --> 00:09:58,565
Pretty sure
That would be illegal.
234
00:09:58,632 --> 00:10:00,133
Where'd you get
This credit-card receipt?
235
00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:02,402
It was inside
The bag from the beer.
236
00:10:02,469 --> 00:10:03,737
See that?
237
00:10:03,804 --> 00:10:05,605
Light beer.
That is a crime.
238
00:10:05,673 --> 00:10:07,641
No, the name.
"Jeffrey eastin."
239
00:10:07,708 --> 00:10:09,910
Do you think
You can give me a description
240
00:10:09,977 --> 00:10:12,079
Of the guy you saw
Stealing this mail?
241
00:10:12,145 --> 00:10:16,149
He had a mullet, pointy nose,
Stupid shoes, muscle shirt,
242
00:10:16,216 --> 00:10:17,685
No muscles to speak of.
243
00:10:17,751 --> 00:10:19,286
Isn't he precious?
244
00:10:19,352 --> 00:10:23,090
Mullet, pointy nose, everything.
It's all there, man.
245
00:10:23,156 --> 00:10:27,294
That little dude
Is a born crimefighter.
246
00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:28,628
Hey, you know, um,
247
00:10:28,696 --> 00:10:31,364
Hodges has been doing some work
With the fbi
248
00:10:31,431 --> 00:10:32,666
On some fraud cases.
249
00:10:32,733 --> 00:10:35,168
If I could sneak a look
At his computer,
250
00:10:35,235 --> 00:10:38,405
I could run eastin's
Credit cards on his database.
251
00:10:38,471 --> 00:10:40,473
What's a database?
252
00:10:40,540 --> 00:10:41,975
Don't worry about that.
253
00:10:42,042 --> 00:10:45,145
Just, uh...Just distract
Hodges while I do this.
254
00:10:45,212 --> 00:10:46,714
You know, cover me.
255
00:10:46,780 --> 00:10:49,116
Oh, yeah.
That, I can do.
256
00:10:52,119 --> 00:10:54,054
Hodges, my man,
What's happenin'?
257
00:10:54,121 --> 00:10:57,224
I'm, uh...
On my lunch break?
258
00:10:57,290 --> 00:10:59,126
Lunch.
259
00:10:59,192 --> 00:11:00,493
What is lunch...
260
00:11:00,560 --> 00:11:02,295
For detective hodges?
261
00:11:02,362 --> 00:11:03,731
Tell me about it.
262
00:11:03,797 --> 00:11:05,032
What's this about,
Stark?
263
00:11:05,098 --> 00:11:06,633
What's it about?
Nothing. I'm just talking.
264
00:11:06,700 --> 00:11:07,835
Just 'cause
I don't respect you
265
00:11:07,901 --> 00:11:09,036
Doesn't mean
We can't be friends.
266
00:11:09,102 --> 00:11:10,070
Tell me
About your lunch.
267
00:11:10,137 --> 00:11:12,706
It's a doublicious
From kfc.
268
00:11:12,773 --> 00:11:16,309
It's kind of a sweet,
Savory chicken sandwich.
269
00:11:16,376 --> 00:11:17,577
Hm.
270
00:11:17,644 --> 00:11:19,446
And I got a ginger ale
From the swift mart,
271
00:11:19,512 --> 00:11:20,680
And I picked up
Some aspirin.
272
00:11:20,748 --> 00:11:22,182
Are you happy?
273
00:11:22,249 --> 00:11:23,283
Let me see.
274
00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:31,058
They named it right.
It's not single-licious.
275
00:11:31,124 --> 00:11:32,760
Okay, now, come on.
Give me that.
276
00:11:33,794 --> 00:11:35,328
This has been fun.
277
00:11:35,395 --> 00:11:37,330
Has it? Okay.
278
00:11:37,397 --> 00:11:38,766
Jack: hey!
Oh! Whoops!
279
00:11:38,832 --> 00:11:40,167
Hodges.
Sorry about that.
280
00:11:40,233 --> 00:11:41,735
Anything good?
281
00:11:41,802 --> 00:11:44,704
Yeah. Very good. Turns out
That this eastin guy
282
00:11:44,772 --> 00:11:46,239
Hasn't just been buying
Watery beer.
283
00:11:46,306 --> 00:11:48,842
He's been buying drugs online
From overseas --
284
00:11:48,909 --> 00:11:52,379
Amphetamines, vicodin,
Uh, oxycontin.
285
00:11:52,445 --> 00:11:55,515
I mean, it's big stuff --
Stuff that landed him
On the d.E.A. Watch list,
286
00:11:55,582 --> 00:11:58,251
Which means we can get a warrant
And bust this punk.
287
00:11:58,318 --> 00:11:59,787
All right!
288
00:12:05,258 --> 00:12:07,727
[ doorbell chimes ]
Hey, come on, jacko.
289
00:12:07,795 --> 00:12:09,930
The guy knocked over
A kid's bike.
290
00:12:09,997 --> 00:12:11,731
I think the time
For being polite's over.
291
00:12:11,799 --> 00:12:13,000
[ raps on door ]
292
00:12:13,066 --> 00:12:15,769
Eastin, open up,
Or we're comin' in!
293
00:12:15,836 --> 00:12:18,371
[ thump, clatter ]
294
00:12:18,438 --> 00:12:20,707
Got a runner!
295
00:12:20,774 --> 00:12:21,809
Dan:
We got a runner!
296
00:12:21,875 --> 00:12:23,210
We got a runner!
297
00:12:23,276 --> 00:12:24,477
Aah!
298
00:12:25,779 --> 00:12:27,214
[ grunts ]
299
00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:29,649
[ coughs ] How's that
For an open-field tackle?
300
00:12:29,716 --> 00:12:32,152
Let's see, here.
301
00:12:32,219 --> 00:12:34,087
[ sighs ] That does not
Look like jeffrey eastin.
302
00:12:34,154 --> 00:12:35,122
Oops.
303
00:12:36,256 --> 00:12:37,490
My bad.
304
00:12:40,894 --> 00:12:42,996
Uh, we apologize,
Mr. Eastin.
305
00:12:43,063 --> 00:12:45,665
You are obviously the victim
Of, uh, identity theft,
306
00:12:45,732 --> 00:12:47,000
Credit-card fraud.
307
00:12:47,067 --> 00:12:49,870
Yeah, and now I can add
Police brutality to that list.
308
00:12:49,937 --> 00:12:51,805
Oh, give me a br--
"Police brutality"?!
309
00:12:51,872 --> 00:12:53,106
That was
A love-tap, baby.
310
00:12:53,173 --> 00:12:55,675
If you're so innocent,
How come you were running?
311
00:12:55,742 --> 00:12:57,510
'cause I thought
You were debt collectors!
312
00:12:57,577 --> 00:13:00,580
Whoever's doing this,
They've run me up
More than 10 grand.
313
00:13:00,647 --> 00:13:01,681
Last week,
Some guys came by,
314
00:13:01,748 --> 00:13:03,416
Threatened to rough me up
If I didn't pay.
315
00:13:03,483 --> 00:13:05,485
Did you call
The police?
Of course I did!
316
00:13:05,552 --> 00:13:07,654
They've been "Looking into it"
For about eight months.
317
00:13:07,720 --> 00:13:09,156
You know
The worst thing?
318
00:13:09,222 --> 00:13:11,424
I went online
To cancel my credit cards,
319
00:13:11,491 --> 00:13:13,894
And this bastard
Changed all my passwords!
320
00:13:13,961 --> 00:13:15,362
Oh, my god, jacko.
It's happening.
321
00:13:15,428 --> 00:13:17,998
We're becoming numbers.
The machines have taken over.
322
00:13:18,065 --> 00:13:19,799
Okay, relax, dan.
Relax.
323
00:13:19,867 --> 00:13:20,868
I hear you.
324
00:13:20,934 --> 00:13:22,235
Relax.
[ snaps fingers ]
325
00:13:22,302 --> 00:13:23,570
Relax.
326
00:13:23,636 --> 00:13:25,772
Uh, t-the statements,
The credit-card statements,
327
00:13:25,839 --> 00:13:26,840
Do you still
Have them?
328
00:13:26,907 --> 00:13:27,908
Oh, yeah.
329
00:13:27,975 --> 00:13:29,376
Every month,
I get a list
330
00:13:29,442 --> 00:13:31,979
Of the great crap this
Low-life's buying with my money.
331
00:13:35,615 --> 00:13:36,816
[ gun cocks ]
332
00:13:36,884 --> 00:13:38,451
[ gunshot ]
333
00:13:40,020 --> 00:13:42,355
Well, whoever stole
Jeffrey eastin's identity
334
00:13:42,422 --> 00:13:44,925
Has charged $1,000
Worth of pizza at this place
335
00:13:44,992 --> 00:13:46,159
In the past month.
336
00:13:46,226 --> 00:13:47,027
$1,000?
337
00:13:47,094 --> 00:13:48,361
His arteries must be
338
00:13:48,428 --> 00:13:51,131
As clogged as a toilet
At the state fair.
339
00:13:51,198 --> 00:13:53,600
Man, we should have brought
The kids here.
340
00:13:53,666 --> 00:13:55,068
I don't think
It's appropriate
341
00:13:55,135 --> 00:13:56,870
To bring
The junior officers along
342
00:13:56,937 --> 00:13:58,371
On an actual
Investigation.
343
00:13:58,438 --> 00:13:59,472
Come on, jacko.
344
00:13:59,539 --> 00:14:01,508
They love fightin' crime
And eatin' pizza.
345
00:14:01,574 --> 00:14:02,475
Uh, excuse me, sir?
346
00:14:02,542 --> 00:14:04,444
Detective bailey.
This is detective stark.
347
00:14:04,511 --> 00:14:05,478
Dallas p.D.
348
00:14:05,545 --> 00:14:07,981
Have you seen
A man who looks like this?
349
00:14:08,048 --> 00:14:10,650
He stole a bunch of credit cards
And...Spit on a bike.
350
00:14:10,717 --> 00:14:12,652
Yeah, yeah, yeah --
We deliver a couple of pizzas
351
00:14:12,719 --> 00:14:14,021
To him
Damn near every night.
352
00:14:14,087 --> 00:14:16,223
He says the second one
Is for breakfast.
353
00:14:16,289 --> 00:14:18,091
That's our man.
We got him dead to rights.
354
00:14:18,158 --> 00:14:19,960
Yeah, unless
Cholesterol gets him first.
355
00:14:20,027 --> 00:14:21,594
Do you have
A delivery address?
356
00:14:21,661 --> 00:14:23,030
Yeah, yeah, sure.
Let me check.
357
00:14:23,096 --> 00:14:24,631
Think he's over
At vista view apartments.
358
00:14:24,697 --> 00:14:25,999
Yeah, here we go.
359
00:14:26,066 --> 00:14:27,734
You know, for using
Someone else's credit card,
360
00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:29,903
He sure is
A lousy tipper.
361
00:14:29,970 --> 00:14:32,105
There's evil...
In this world.
362
00:14:32,172 --> 00:14:35,375
Some people
Are just rotten to the core.
363
00:14:35,442 --> 00:14:37,477
But I thank you
For your service, citizen.
364
00:14:40,113 --> 00:14:41,581
Come on, jacko.
365
00:14:41,648 --> 00:14:45,185
First thing in the a.M.,
We take this punk down.
Thanks.
366
00:14:45,252 --> 00:14:47,154
Vic: [ with mouth full ]
These identities are fool-proof!
367
00:14:47,220 --> 00:14:48,788
My guy works
For the government!
368
00:14:48,855 --> 00:14:50,023
I mean, all he has to do
369
00:14:50,090 --> 00:14:51,858
Is, like, type a name
Onto a piece of paper,
370
00:14:51,925 --> 00:14:53,126
And bang! --
You exist.
371
00:14:53,193 --> 00:14:54,661
It's, like,
Totally official.
372
00:14:54,727 --> 00:14:56,930
And while he's getting you
All your official papers,
373
00:14:56,997 --> 00:14:57,998
I do the fun stuff --
374
00:14:58,065 --> 00:14:59,732
You know, your
Girly-mag subscriptions.
375
00:14:59,799 --> 00:15:01,101
No, there's no need
For all that.
376
00:15:01,168 --> 00:15:02,936
Just the identities,
Please.
377
00:15:03,003 --> 00:15:05,438
Yes, and you will get
Your 20,000 american dollars
378
00:15:05,505 --> 00:15:06,339
For each one.
379
00:15:06,406 --> 00:15:08,008
Whatever floats
Your boat, amigo.
380
00:15:08,075 --> 00:15:10,077
Just call me
When you get over the border.
381
00:15:11,011 --> 00:15:12,479
Everything is in place.
382
00:15:12,545 --> 00:15:15,715
By this time tomorrow,
We will be americans --
383
00:15:15,782 --> 00:15:17,450
Matt clark
And phil hardage.
384
00:15:17,517 --> 00:15:19,786
Tico: but I worry
About the cartel.
385
00:15:19,852 --> 00:15:21,888
You know
They will stop at nothing
386
00:15:21,955 --> 00:15:23,323
When they find us gone.
387
00:15:23,390 --> 00:15:27,127
Not if we kill our bodyguards
Before we leave.
388
00:15:27,194 --> 00:15:29,162
That way,
They will think
389
00:15:29,229 --> 00:15:31,931
That they took us also
And killed us.
390
00:15:31,999 --> 00:15:33,700
This is an excellent plan,
Alfredo,
391
00:15:33,766 --> 00:15:36,769
Yet also...Very sad.
392
00:15:36,836 --> 00:15:39,906
Don't think of it
As the ending of their lives.
393
00:15:39,973 --> 00:15:42,342
Think of it
As the starting of ours,
394
00:15:42,409 --> 00:15:43,876
As americans.
395
00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:45,979
[ gun cocks, chamber clicking ]
396
00:15:46,046 --> 00:15:47,314
[ gun cocks, gunshot ]
397
00:15:47,380 --> 00:15:49,782
Okay, we're looking
For apartment 204.
398
00:15:49,849 --> 00:15:51,784
[ scoffs ]
Will you put the --
399
00:15:51,851 --> 00:15:54,054
What are you doing?
Put your gun away.
400
00:15:54,121 --> 00:15:56,156
Hey, last time
I chased this punk,
401
00:15:56,223 --> 00:15:58,025
I practically
Pulled a hammy.
402
00:15:58,091 --> 00:15:59,792
That's not
Happening again.
403
00:15:59,859 --> 00:16:02,996
Yeah, well, last time,
This punk...
404
00:16:03,063 --> 00:16:04,797
Wasn't this punk.
405
00:16:04,864 --> 00:16:06,533
You know what?
Don't get technical.
406
00:16:06,599 --> 00:16:09,402
This guy makes a run for it,
I'm clipping him in his knees.
407
00:16:09,469 --> 00:16:11,704
That's what he gets
For being a crappy tipper.
408
00:16:11,771 --> 00:16:13,440
This is it.
409
00:16:15,542 --> 00:16:17,477
Hello?!
410
00:16:20,180 --> 00:16:22,049
Sir, will you open up
The door?!
411
00:16:22,115 --> 00:16:24,784
We're with
The dallas police department!
412
00:16:24,851 --> 00:16:26,886
Oh, he just
Turns it up louder!
413
00:16:26,953 --> 00:16:29,222
I got a bad feeling
About this, jacko!
414
00:16:29,289 --> 00:16:31,158
The only reason
To turn the music up
415
00:16:31,224 --> 00:16:32,792
Is to cover
The sound of something --
416
00:16:32,859 --> 00:16:34,727
[ gunshots ]
417
00:16:34,794 --> 00:16:37,064
...Even louder!
418
00:16:39,366 --> 00:16:41,134
Hup!
419
00:16:41,201 --> 00:16:42,769
Yeah, he jumped!
420
00:16:42,835 --> 00:16:44,003
[ engine revving ]
421
00:16:44,071 --> 00:16:45,605
[ tires screech ]
422
00:16:45,672 --> 00:16:47,340
Damn it!
423
00:16:47,407 --> 00:16:49,509
Okay, I'm gonna
Call it in!
424
00:16:49,576 --> 00:16:50,910
Okay, you call it in!
425
00:16:50,977 --> 00:16:53,480
I'm gonna find
A place to sit down!
426
00:16:57,384 --> 00:16:58,885
Hey!
427
00:16:58,951 --> 00:17:02,655
Don't you think it'd
Be a good idea to turn
The music down?!
428
00:17:02,722 --> 00:17:03,723
Oh.
429
00:17:03,790 --> 00:17:05,192
[ gunshot ]
430
00:17:05,258 --> 00:17:06,526
[ electricity crackles ]
431
00:17:06,593 --> 00:17:07,760
Good call.
432
00:17:11,064 --> 00:17:12,599
Aw, come on, darlin'.
433
00:17:12,665 --> 00:17:14,501
You don't need to do that
To yourself.
434
00:17:14,567 --> 00:17:15,835
This is amazing.
435
00:17:15,902 --> 00:17:18,605
This guy vic's been collecting
Workers'-comp benefits
436
00:17:18,671 --> 00:17:21,441
Under the name "Barney rivers"
For the past six months.
437
00:17:21,508 --> 00:17:23,810
How you know
His name's vic?
438
00:17:23,876 --> 00:17:26,546
I thought you said he was using
A whole bunch of names.
439
00:17:26,613 --> 00:17:28,448
Yeah, well, I just don't think
That the break-up letters
440
00:17:28,515 --> 00:17:30,483
From three different
Ex-girlfriends
441
00:17:30,550 --> 00:17:32,719
Would be written
To the fake name.
442
00:17:32,785 --> 00:17:34,254
Take a look at this.
443
00:17:34,321 --> 00:17:38,658
The quality on these I.D.'s
Is the best I've ever seen.
444
00:17:38,725 --> 00:17:39,626
Holy --
445
00:17:39,692 --> 00:17:42,595
It's even got
Those little 3-d homo-ero--
446
00:17:42,662 --> 00:17:45,432
Uh...Uh,
Heliographic dealios on it.
447
00:17:45,498 --> 00:17:46,266
Wow.
448
00:17:46,333 --> 00:17:47,367
That's a good fake.
449
00:17:47,434 --> 00:17:48,901
I don't think
It's a fake.
450
00:17:48,968 --> 00:17:50,370
Somehow
He managed to get
451
00:17:50,437 --> 00:17:53,072
A real driver's license
Tied to a fictional identity,
452
00:17:53,140 --> 00:17:54,741
But y-you'd have to have
A birth certificate
453
00:17:54,807 --> 00:17:56,343
In order to do that.
454
00:17:56,409 --> 00:17:59,412
Now, this guy, he's warming up
Slices of pizza in a toaster.
455
00:17:59,479 --> 00:18:02,582
I don't think he's
Smart enough to forge
Identity documents.
456
00:18:02,649 --> 00:18:04,817
Yeah, anybody knows, when you
Heat up pizza in a toaster,
457
00:18:04,884 --> 00:18:06,119
You turn the toaster
On the side.
458
00:18:06,186 --> 00:18:07,687
Hey,
I found something, too.
459
00:18:09,789 --> 00:18:10,857
That's good, dan.
460
00:18:10,923 --> 00:18:12,024
No, no, no, no, no, no.
461
00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:13,560
Right there.
Check that out.
462
00:18:15,962 --> 00:18:17,264
I know this place.
463
00:18:17,330 --> 00:18:19,566
Uh, t-they're a-an industrial
Printing house.
464
00:18:19,632 --> 00:18:21,434
They've got the contract
For the city of dallas
465
00:18:21,501 --> 00:18:22,935
To do all their
High-end printing.
466
00:18:23,002 --> 00:18:24,337
Well, you know
A lot of things.
467
00:18:24,404 --> 00:18:26,072
You're like
A computer machine
468
00:18:26,139 --> 00:18:27,940
With just a touch
Of hair gel on top.
469
00:18:28,007 --> 00:18:29,409
Yeah, thanks.
470
00:18:29,476 --> 00:18:31,244
I didn't...
Mean that as a compliment.
471
00:18:31,311 --> 00:18:33,313
Yeah. I know.
472
00:18:33,380 --> 00:18:34,581
[ piano music plays ]
473
00:18:34,647 --> 00:18:36,849
[ humming ]
474
00:18:40,453 --> 00:18:43,423
Vic!
What are you doing here?!
475
00:18:43,490 --> 00:18:46,025
First thing I'm gonna do
Is turn off this teacher music
476
00:18:46,092 --> 00:18:47,860
And put on
Something that doesn't suck.
477
00:18:47,927 --> 00:18:49,929
[ heavy metal music plays ]
That's more like it.
478
00:18:49,996 --> 00:18:51,731
Cops showed up
At my place!
479
00:18:51,798 --> 00:18:55,502
I'm gonna have to
Crash here for a while
Till it cools down!
480
00:18:55,568 --> 00:18:57,237
I thought you said
We wouldn't get caught!
481
00:18:57,304 --> 00:18:58,671
Why were the cops
Looking for you?
482
00:18:58,738 --> 00:19:00,607
And how do you know
They didn't follow you here?
483
00:19:00,673 --> 00:19:02,041
How are they
Gonna track me, man?
484
00:19:02,108 --> 00:19:04,611
I was like a ghost.
I was like an invisible ghost.
485
00:19:04,677 --> 00:19:07,046
Now, what's to eat
In this dump?
Hold on.
486
00:19:07,113 --> 00:19:09,015
Y-you know, uh,
Y-you staying here --
487
00:19:09,081 --> 00:19:10,217
Maybe not the best idea?
488
00:19:10,283 --> 00:19:11,984
T-t-that's
An aged gouda!
489
00:19:12,051 --> 00:19:13,686
What are you
Talking about?
490
00:19:13,753 --> 00:19:16,122
We're partners.
That's how it works.
491
00:19:16,189 --> 00:19:18,458
You scratch my back,
I eat your cheese.
492
00:19:18,525 --> 00:19:20,693
Maybe sleep in your bed.
Now, come on.
493
00:19:20,760 --> 00:19:22,929
Give me your car keys.
I got to get some booze.
494
00:19:22,995 --> 00:19:25,064
Oh, geez.
495
00:19:25,131 --> 00:19:27,300
You know what?
Let me get some cash, too.
496
00:19:27,367 --> 00:19:28,668
I had to ditch
All my plastic.
497
00:19:28,735 --> 00:19:30,703
Hey, now, what about
The printing order?
498
00:19:30,770 --> 00:19:32,505
You're supposed to
Pick it up at 2:00.
499
00:19:32,572 --> 00:19:34,474
No can do, perrier.
You're gonna have to get it.
500
00:19:34,541 --> 00:19:35,575
No!
I have to work!
501
00:19:35,642 --> 00:19:37,176
You promised
You would take care of it.
502
00:19:37,244 --> 00:19:38,545
I don't have
Anymore sick days, vic.
503
00:19:38,611 --> 00:19:39,779
I mean,
If I lose this job --
504
00:19:39,846 --> 00:19:41,614
Yeah, that sounds like
A "You" problem.
505
00:19:41,681 --> 00:19:43,716
Can I at least get a ride
To the printer?
506
00:19:43,783 --> 00:19:44,784
Huh.
507
00:19:44,851 --> 00:19:46,052
You know...
508
00:19:46,118 --> 00:19:48,120
I think that's gonna be
A little tight,
509
00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:50,022
What with my schedule
And such.
510
00:19:50,089 --> 00:19:51,691
[ with mouth full ]
Here's an idea --
511
00:19:51,758 --> 00:19:55,061
Be a lamb and cab it for me,
Okay, partner?
512
00:19:55,127 --> 00:19:56,162
Later.
513
00:19:56,229 --> 00:19:57,930
Don't slam it!
[ door slams ]
514
00:20:04,537 --> 00:20:07,307
There you are.
What took you so long?
515
00:20:07,374 --> 00:20:08,475
What the hell?
516
00:20:08,541 --> 00:20:09,976
Am I supposed to
Walk in there and say,
517
00:20:10,042 --> 00:20:12,144
"Excuse me, do you mind
If I plant a listening device
518
00:20:12,211 --> 00:20:13,446
"In your
Printing establishment
519
00:20:13,513 --> 00:20:14,947
So I can overhear
Your illegal doings?"
520
00:20:16,449 --> 00:20:18,117
And then I -- I...
521
00:20:18,184 --> 00:20:19,519
Got a burger.
522
00:20:19,586 --> 00:20:22,789
Well, did you at least
Get me something?
523
00:20:22,855 --> 00:20:25,292
Well, of course I did.
524
00:20:26,326 --> 00:20:28,295
No, thanks.
All right.
525
00:20:29,262 --> 00:20:31,298
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Check it out.
526
00:20:32,832 --> 00:20:34,534
Check out that dude.
527
00:20:34,601 --> 00:20:36,336
He's walking
Pretty constipated
528
00:20:36,403 --> 00:20:38,271
For someone
Who's just gonna make copies,
529
00:20:38,338 --> 00:20:39,572
Wouldn't you say?
530
00:20:39,639 --> 00:20:42,709
I don't know, dan.
Maybe he is constipated.
531
00:20:42,775 --> 00:20:45,645
That's the "I'm about to do
Something bad" walk.
532
00:20:45,712 --> 00:20:48,781
Something about that guy's
Not right.
533
00:20:48,848 --> 00:20:49,949
Crimey.
534
00:20:50,016 --> 00:20:53,353
Okay, dan...That man
Looks nothing like our suspect.
535
00:20:53,420 --> 00:20:55,221
And we can't just go around
536
00:20:55,288 --> 00:20:57,690
Arresting people
Who look "Crimey."
537
00:20:57,757 --> 00:21:00,192
Our suspect just had
His door kicked in
By a couple of cops.
538
00:21:00,259 --> 00:21:01,561
You don't think
It's possible
539
00:21:01,628 --> 00:21:03,463
He might send someone else
To do his dirty work?
540
00:21:03,530 --> 00:21:04,997
That's a good point.
541
00:21:05,064 --> 00:21:06,366
That's all I'm saying.
542
00:21:06,433 --> 00:21:08,501
Perry:
Are you roger?
Roger: sure am.
543
00:21:08,568 --> 00:21:10,337
What can I
Do you for?
544
00:21:10,403 --> 00:21:12,639
I'm, uh, picking up
A special order.
545
00:21:13,606 --> 00:21:15,475
I'm with
The records office.
546
00:21:15,542 --> 00:21:17,977
I thought a fella named vic
Was supposed to pick it up.
547
00:21:18,044 --> 00:21:19,479
What did I tell you?
Crimey.
548
00:21:19,546 --> 00:21:21,814
Shall we apprehend
Our constipated friend?
549
00:21:21,881 --> 00:21:23,883
After you.
550
00:21:30,423 --> 00:21:33,159
Can I help you boys?
We got a special on cardstock.
551
00:21:33,225 --> 00:21:34,661
Where's the guy
Who was just here?
552
00:21:34,727 --> 00:21:37,196
Uh, guy? What guy?
There's no guy in here.
553
00:21:37,263 --> 00:21:38,798
We heard
The whole thing, roger!
554
00:21:38,865 --> 00:21:42,068
You want us to take
You in or you want to
Tell us where he is?
555
00:21:42,134 --> 00:21:44,270
Perry! His name's perry.
He went out the back door.
556
00:21:44,337 --> 00:21:46,773
A cab was waiting for him
In the back lot.
557
00:21:51,911 --> 00:21:54,280
You said you did a search
Of the perimeter!
558
00:21:54,347 --> 00:21:55,582
I did something better.
559
00:21:55,648 --> 00:21:57,517
Prairie dog,
This is bloodhound.
560
00:21:57,584 --> 00:21:59,318
Do you have eyes
On the perp?
561
00:21:59,386 --> 00:22:00,820
I got him, sir!
562
00:22:00,887 --> 00:22:02,489
Suspect's in a taxi,
563
00:22:02,555 --> 00:22:04,724
Headed across the freeway
On griffin.
564
00:22:04,791 --> 00:22:05,925
Roger that!
565
00:22:09,028 --> 00:22:11,063
[ tires screech ]
566
00:22:11,130 --> 00:22:14,000
I can't believe you brought
A kid on a stakeout.
567
00:22:14,066 --> 00:22:16,102
Hey, I didn't bring him.
He rode his bike.
568
00:22:16,168 --> 00:22:17,670
Teddy:
He just went down maple.
569
00:22:19,672 --> 00:22:23,910
Is "Down" west,
Or is "Down" east?
570
00:22:23,976 --> 00:22:26,345
I don't know.
It's towards the mall, dude.
571
00:22:26,413 --> 00:22:28,448
Okay, you see?
This is what I mean.
572
00:22:28,515 --> 00:22:30,383
You can't just -- left! Left!
Towards the mall!
573
00:22:30,450 --> 00:22:31,951
[ engine revving ]
574
00:22:34,754 --> 00:22:38,357
Oh! You see that?
We got him.
575
00:22:38,425 --> 00:22:39,826
What do you say?
576
00:22:41,528 --> 00:22:42,662
Thanks, teddy.
577
00:22:42,729 --> 00:22:44,063
Teddy:
Roger that, sir.
578
00:22:44,130 --> 00:22:46,733
Hey, you think you can get
A clear shot off here?
579
00:22:46,799 --> 00:22:48,601
I-I'm not gonna shoot
A taxi, all right?
580
00:22:48,668 --> 00:22:50,236
We'll just see
Where it goes,
581
00:22:50,302 --> 00:22:51,771
And we'll get him
When he gets out.
582
00:22:51,838 --> 00:22:54,641
Good point.
Teacher moment.
583
00:22:54,707 --> 00:22:57,744
Prairie dog, this is hound dog.
Do you copy?
584
00:22:57,810 --> 00:22:58,645
Yeah.
585
00:22:58,711 --> 00:23:02,348
Never shoot
A defenseless taxi.
586
00:23:02,415 --> 00:23:04,016
Roger that,
Bloodhound.
587
00:23:08,955 --> 00:23:11,257
Okay.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
Wait. Wait a minute.
588
00:23:11,323 --> 00:23:13,460
We don't know what's going on
In that house, all right?
589
00:23:13,526 --> 00:23:14,661
We need to call in
For backup.
590
00:23:14,727 --> 00:23:16,463
Backup? It's a pudgy guy
With glasses.
591
00:23:16,529 --> 00:23:17,930
What the hell
We need backup for?
592
00:23:17,997 --> 00:23:20,066
Oh, so, you can call in
An 11-year-old
593
00:23:20,132 --> 00:23:21,601
To help us
With a stakeout,
594
00:23:21,668 --> 00:23:24,070
But as soon as I call in
The grown-ups for backup,
595
00:23:24,136 --> 00:23:25,071
I'm the bad guy, okay.
596
00:23:25,137 --> 00:23:26,105
What is it with you?
597
00:23:26,172 --> 00:23:27,907
You have had it in
For these junior officers
598
00:23:27,974 --> 00:23:29,676
Ever since we took them
Under our wing.
599
00:23:29,742 --> 00:23:31,611
I don't have it in
For the junior officers.
600
00:23:31,678 --> 00:23:34,280
Why do you hate kids?
I don't hate kids.
601
00:23:34,346 --> 00:23:35,815
We're gonna sit
In this car
602
00:23:35,882 --> 00:23:37,917
Until you tell me
Why you hate kids.
603
00:23:41,053 --> 00:23:42,922
What'd you bring me?
604
00:23:42,989 --> 00:23:43,990
What have you done?
605
00:23:44,056 --> 00:23:46,092
You've only been here
A couple of hours!
606
00:23:46,158 --> 00:23:47,794
What are you
Talking about?
607
00:23:47,860 --> 00:23:50,262
I'm just making our house
Feel lived-in.
608
00:23:50,329 --> 00:23:51,864
Our house?
609
00:23:54,366 --> 00:23:55,702
What is this?
610
00:23:55,768 --> 00:23:58,538
It's the birth certificates
I said I was gonna get.
611
00:23:58,605 --> 00:24:00,106
Where's
The rest of it?
612
00:24:00,172 --> 00:24:01,974
The passports and
Social-security cards and crap.
613
00:24:02,041 --> 00:24:03,610
Well, those
Are federal documents.
614
00:24:03,676 --> 00:24:05,578
I can't get those things.
I never said that I could.
615
00:24:05,645 --> 00:24:07,514
You trying
To cheat me, boy?
616
00:24:07,580 --> 00:24:09,215
W-what? No.
617
00:24:09,281 --> 00:24:10,650
I-I-I-I-I just don't --
618
00:24:10,717 --> 00:24:12,819
I-I don't have access
To the -- to the --
619
00:24:12,885 --> 00:24:14,754
You don't have
Access?
620
00:24:14,821 --> 00:24:15,788
Huh.
621
00:24:15,855 --> 00:24:17,790
Well,
You better listen up.
622
00:24:17,857 --> 00:24:22,094
You figure out how to get
Access to that stuff,
623
00:24:22,161 --> 00:24:26,232
Or this is how
I'm gonna access your brain --
624
00:24:26,298 --> 00:24:27,767
Through your stupid face!
625
00:24:27,834 --> 00:24:29,101
No.
[ glass shatters ]
626
00:24:29,168 --> 00:24:30,469
Aah! No!
627
00:24:30,537 --> 00:24:32,238
[ screaming ]
628
00:24:36,208 --> 00:24:37,276
Okay, hey, look.
629
00:24:37,343 --> 00:24:40,046
We are not having this
Conversation, dan, all right?
630
00:24:40,112 --> 00:24:40,947
I don't hate kids.
631
00:24:41,013 --> 00:24:42,949
Yeah,
I want to believe that,
632
00:24:43,015 --> 00:24:46,352
But when I see the way
You keep little teddy
At -- at arm's length,
633
00:24:46,418 --> 00:24:48,220
I just -- I don't --
I don't know.
634
00:24:48,287 --> 00:24:50,823
[ screaming ]
635
00:24:50,890 --> 00:24:53,593
[ sobbing ]
636
00:24:53,660 --> 00:24:56,028
Now get out
Of my sight!
637
00:24:56,095 --> 00:24:59,599
And don't come back
Until you got my papers!
638
00:24:59,666 --> 00:25:00,900
I-I-I don't hate kids.
639
00:25:00,967 --> 00:25:02,769
I just don't like them
Very much. Can we go now?
640
00:25:02,835 --> 00:25:04,103
That breaks my heart.
641
00:25:05,204 --> 00:25:07,439
All right.
Thank you.
642
00:25:07,506 --> 00:25:09,441
[ perry screaming ]
643
00:25:09,508 --> 00:25:11,911
Help! Help! Help!
Call the cops!
644
00:25:11,978 --> 00:25:13,546
Uh, w-we are the cops.
645
00:25:13,613 --> 00:25:14,714
Oh, thank god!
646
00:25:14,781 --> 00:25:16,716
You mind
If I get in your car?
647
00:25:16,783 --> 00:25:18,017
Uh, no, no.
Not at all.
648
00:25:18,084 --> 00:25:20,352
In fact, we were
Just coming to arrest you,
649
00:25:20,419 --> 00:25:21,487
So, yeah, hop in.
650
00:25:21,554 --> 00:25:23,790
Oh, for the, uh --
Uh, yeah, yeah.
651
00:25:23,856 --> 00:25:25,658
Well, thank god
You're here.
652
00:25:25,725 --> 00:25:27,459
Seriously, I've been doing this
A long time.
653
00:25:27,526 --> 00:25:28,795
I-I-I've never seen this
Before.
654
00:25:28,861 --> 00:25:30,496
I'm really in
Over my head.
655
00:25:30,563 --> 00:25:32,832
This guy vic --
H-he's completely lost it!
656
00:25:32,899 --> 00:25:35,134
Okay, whoa, whoa,
Whoa. Wait a second.
How do you know vic?
657
00:25:35,201 --> 00:25:37,870
Look, just get me to
The station -- I'll
Tell you everything.
658
00:25:37,937 --> 00:25:39,972
Well,
This is different.
659
00:25:43,309 --> 00:25:44,744
Dan:
Okay, that's it!
660
00:25:44,811 --> 00:25:45,878
Enough about
The train sets
661
00:25:45,945 --> 00:25:47,013
And the messy
Refrigerators.
662
00:25:47,079 --> 00:25:49,115
We get it.
Vic's a bad roommate.
663
00:25:49,181 --> 00:25:50,717
Now's the time you tell us
About your operation.
664
00:25:50,783 --> 00:25:51,918
Hurry up, fudgey!
665
00:25:51,984 --> 00:25:54,687
Or...Maybe we could go
Back to the house,
666
00:25:54,754 --> 00:25:56,956
Pick up vic,
Bring him back here,
667
00:25:57,023 --> 00:25:59,892
And throw you two in a nice,
Tiny, little jail cell.
668
00:25:59,959 --> 00:26:01,928
No, no, no, no!
I'll talk.
669
00:26:01,994 --> 00:26:04,463
I just --
I can't lose my job.
670
00:26:04,530 --> 00:26:06,966
We'll worry
About that later.
671
00:26:07,033 --> 00:26:10,737
Right now I want to know
How you got connected with vic.
672
00:26:10,803 --> 00:26:13,505
I work at the county
Records office.
673
00:26:13,572 --> 00:26:16,843
It's probably...
The worst job in the world.
674
00:26:16,909 --> 00:26:19,378
I'm pretty sure
That the walls of my cubicle
675
00:26:19,445 --> 00:26:20,780
Are made of asbestos.
676
00:26:20,847 --> 00:26:23,616
And I'm about five feet
From the men's crapper,
677
00:26:23,683 --> 00:26:25,852
Which means that
All day long, in and out,
678
00:26:25,918 --> 00:26:28,120
Guys with
The folded sports page --
679
00:26:28,187 --> 00:26:29,288
We get it.
680
00:26:29,355 --> 00:26:31,290
Now, I-I'd quit,
But I can't.
681
00:26:31,357 --> 00:26:32,659
I got bills, you know?
682
00:26:32,725 --> 00:26:34,694
Then this guy vic came in
683
00:26:34,761 --> 00:26:37,964
And tried to apply
For retirement benefits.
684
00:26:38,030 --> 00:26:41,067
That's pretty bold
For a 38-year-old male.
685
00:26:41,133 --> 00:26:42,268
Exactly.
686
00:26:42,334 --> 00:26:44,704
A-a-and I was just about to blow
The whistle on him,
687
00:26:44,771 --> 00:26:49,141
When he...Placed $500
On my desk.
688
00:26:49,208 --> 00:26:51,343
You bribey bastard.
689
00:26:51,410 --> 00:26:52,712
"Bribey"?
690
00:26:52,779 --> 00:26:55,114
He sometimes adds "Y"S
To the end of words.
691
00:26:55,181 --> 00:26:57,283
Don't let it throw you.
Continue.
692
00:26:57,349 --> 00:26:59,719
I thought it was gonna be
Just a-a one-time deal.
693
00:26:59,786 --> 00:27:01,754
Then, six months later,
He came back.
694
00:27:01,821 --> 00:27:04,023
And let me guess --
You were strapped for cash?
695
00:27:04,090 --> 00:27:06,625
It was my wife.
She'd just left me.
696
00:27:06,693 --> 00:27:09,561
Said that I wasn't
Sexually satisfying her.
697
00:27:09,628 --> 00:27:11,463
Yeah, never mind
That she left me
698
00:27:11,530 --> 00:27:12,932
For another civil servant
699
00:27:12,999 --> 00:27:15,501
Who had the same
Glandular disorder I have!
700
00:27:15,567 --> 00:27:16,736
A coincidence?
701
00:27:17,770 --> 00:27:19,839
I don't think so.
702
00:27:19,906 --> 00:27:22,641
Now they're tromping around
With half my money.
703
00:27:22,709 --> 00:27:23,743
We get it.
704
00:27:23,810 --> 00:27:26,746
Now get back
To the part about vic.
705
00:27:26,813 --> 00:27:29,782
He offered me 10 grand
To forge some identities
706
00:27:29,849 --> 00:27:31,851
For him
And two foreigners.
707
00:27:31,918 --> 00:27:34,353
What kind of foreigners?
Swedish chicks?
708
00:27:34,420 --> 00:27:35,421
No -- mexican.
709
00:27:35,487 --> 00:27:37,123
Chicks?
Men.
710
00:27:37,189 --> 00:27:40,526
Look, perry, this is
A very serious crime, okay?
711
00:27:40,592 --> 00:27:44,430
Now, we need to know everything
We can about these guys.
712
00:27:44,496 --> 00:27:46,966
All I know is...
713
00:27:47,033 --> 00:27:49,635
They're on
Their way here...
714
00:27:49,702 --> 00:27:51,370
Right now.
715
00:27:51,437 --> 00:27:54,306
[ gun cocks, gunshot ]
716
00:27:56,743 --> 00:27:58,845
[ brakes squeal ]
717
00:28:00,046 --> 00:28:03,850
We have arrived, tico.
We are in the promised land.
718
00:28:03,916 --> 00:28:05,852
Can you smell that?
719
00:28:05,918 --> 00:28:07,419
Smells like chickens.
720
00:28:08,855 --> 00:28:10,622
[ truck door opens ]
721
00:28:10,689 --> 00:28:13,025
[ speaking spanish ]
722
00:28:15,728 --> 00:28:17,596
[ chuckles ]
Por nada.
723
00:28:17,663 --> 00:28:19,966
[ silenced gunshot,
Chicken squawks ]
724
00:28:20,032 --> 00:28:22,869
Why did you pay him
Before you shot him, alfredo?
725
00:28:22,935 --> 00:28:25,604
I wanted him to be happy
When he died.
726
00:28:25,671 --> 00:28:27,940
You are very thoughtful,
Alfredo.
727
00:28:28,007 --> 00:28:30,209
[ sighs ]
I am no longer alfredo.
728
00:28:30,276 --> 00:28:32,745
We have to get
Our new identities,
729
00:28:32,812 --> 00:28:34,213
Build our empire,
730
00:28:34,280 --> 00:28:37,216
Crush any rival
That challenges.
731
00:28:37,283 --> 00:28:40,853
Soon, we will be
Known and feared as...
732
00:28:40,920 --> 00:28:44,023
Matt and phil...
733
00:28:44,090 --> 00:28:46,425
Lords of the drug trade.
734
00:28:46,492 --> 00:28:48,094
So, you know
Where this guy is.
735
00:28:48,160 --> 00:28:50,029
Why haven't you arrested
This vic?
736
00:28:50,096 --> 00:28:52,598
Lieutenant, $20,000
Is a lot of money.
737
00:28:52,664 --> 00:28:55,567
Now, you don't spend
That kind of cash on
An illegal identity
738
00:28:55,634 --> 00:28:57,003
Unless you're
Up to no good.
739
00:28:57,069 --> 00:28:59,171
Now, I don't know about you,
But I'm wondering
740
00:28:59,238 --> 00:29:01,707
What kind of "No good"
These foreign clients are up to.
741
00:29:01,774 --> 00:29:03,109
Okay,
Just so I'm clear --
742
00:29:03,175 --> 00:29:06,078
All I asked you to do
This week was work
With junior officers,
743
00:29:06,145 --> 00:29:08,647
And now you're asking me
To authorize a sting operation.
744
00:29:08,714 --> 00:29:09,715
I don't think so.
745
00:29:09,782 --> 00:29:11,717
Oh, come on, ana.
We can do both.
746
00:29:11,784 --> 00:29:13,685
W-we'll just
Bring the kids along.
747
00:29:13,752 --> 00:29:15,254
No. Dan is joking.
Right, dan?
748
00:29:15,321 --> 00:29:17,790
Oh, yeah, of cour--
No, we're not gonna
Bring the kids.
749
00:29:17,857 --> 00:29:19,959
[ chuckling ] I mean,
Jack doesn't even like kids.
750
00:29:20,026 --> 00:29:22,494
That's not true.
Look -- everything
Is already set up.
751
00:29:22,561 --> 00:29:23,930
We got our guy
On the inside.
752
00:29:23,996 --> 00:29:26,132
The d.A.'s office
Is ready to sign off on it.
753
00:29:26,198 --> 00:29:28,901
We just need you to authorize it
So we can pull the trigger.
754
00:29:28,968 --> 00:29:31,137
And your guy on the inside --
He's trustworthy?
755
00:29:31,203 --> 00:29:33,873
Oh, please, ana.
Solid. Solid as a rock.
756
00:29:33,940 --> 00:29:36,008
Where are
All my bagel dogs?
757
00:29:36,075 --> 00:29:39,111
I-I-I just bought a family pack
Of bagel dogs from costco.
758
00:29:39,178 --> 00:29:41,447
They were supposed to last me
For a month. [ sniffles ]
759
00:29:41,513 --> 00:29:45,985
What is with you, man?
Will you stop complaining? God!
760
00:29:46,052 --> 00:29:48,420
This is why I always hated
Having roommates.
761
00:29:48,487 --> 00:29:51,290
Do I complain
When you don't do the dishes
762
00:29:51,357 --> 00:29:52,491
Or my laundry?
763
00:29:52,558 --> 00:29:53,559
No, but...
764
00:29:53,625 --> 00:29:54,994
"No, but" nothin'.
765
00:29:55,061 --> 00:29:58,030
Just tell me about these extra
Guys you want to bring in.
766
00:29:58,097 --> 00:29:59,798
They're just like me.
They're like me.
767
00:29:59,866 --> 00:30:01,400
Only t-they're
Federal, see?
768
00:30:01,467 --> 00:30:03,836
And w-whatever we want,
They can get us.
769
00:30:03,903 --> 00:30:06,138
Great. More paper-pushers.
Sounds like a party.
770
00:30:06,205 --> 00:30:08,807
I don't understand
Why you can't do this yourself.
771
00:30:08,875 --> 00:30:10,642
I mean, this
Is what I bought you for.
772
00:30:10,709 --> 00:30:12,111
Just trust me, vic.
773
00:30:12,178 --> 00:30:15,214
The paperwork f-for foreigners
Is a lot more complicated --
774
00:30:15,281 --> 00:30:16,715
A lot more complicated.
775
00:30:16,782 --> 00:30:18,985
And they can give us
Whatever we want.
776
00:30:19,051 --> 00:30:21,487
What do you say?
Just meet them.
Fine.
777
00:30:21,553 --> 00:30:24,156
But we're going somewhere
Where I can get nachos.
778
00:30:28,127 --> 00:30:29,828
Vic:
So, you guys work
779
00:30:29,896 --> 00:30:31,597
In some butt-stinkin'
Cubicle all day,
780
00:30:31,663 --> 00:30:32,899
Like perry here?
781
00:30:34,200 --> 00:30:36,235
Man, I swear to god,
I think I'd shoot my face off.
782
00:30:36,302 --> 00:30:38,905
[ chuckling ]
Oh, god. Tell me about it.
783
00:30:40,206 --> 00:30:42,674
Oh, it's -- it's hell on earth.
It's trying.
784
00:30:42,741 --> 00:30:44,643
So, I still
Don't understand
785
00:30:44,710 --> 00:30:48,180
How come I need so damn many
Of you paper-pushers.
786
00:30:50,349 --> 00:30:52,684
This isn't identity theft
Anymore, vic.
787
00:30:52,751 --> 00:30:54,253
This is
Identity creation.
788
00:30:54,320 --> 00:30:56,355
And none of these "Citizens"
Have a past --
789
00:30:56,422 --> 00:30:59,091
No report cards,
Medical documents,
790
00:30:59,158 --> 00:31:01,527
Tax histories,
Past employers.
791
00:31:01,593 --> 00:31:02,694
We provide that.
792
00:31:02,761 --> 00:31:03,963
Yeah.
793
00:31:05,397 --> 00:31:06,698
I don't get it.
794
00:31:06,765 --> 00:31:08,700
We really need
These guys, vic.
795
00:31:08,767 --> 00:31:10,869
Uh...I'll pay for them
Out of my cut.
796
00:31:10,937 --> 00:31:13,539
Whatever.
Let's just do this thing.
797
00:31:13,605 --> 00:31:14,606
[ chuckles ]
798
00:31:14,673 --> 00:31:15,641
Fantastic.
799
00:31:15,707 --> 00:31:16,943
And who knows?
800
00:31:17,009 --> 00:31:18,477
If you fellas
Work out good,
801
00:31:18,544 --> 00:31:21,347
Maybe we do it again sometime
For some real coin.
802
00:31:21,413 --> 00:31:22,881
[ glasses clink ]
Jack: great.
803
00:31:22,949 --> 00:31:26,118
And next time, uh,
Can we get swedish chicks
804
00:31:26,185 --> 00:31:28,320
Instead
Of mexican dudes?
805
00:31:28,387 --> 00:31:32,124
Tico: after we get our names,
Maybe we can see the town.
806
00:31:32,191 --> 00:31:34,226
I've always
Wanted to see
807
00:31:34,293 --> 00:31:37,029
Where president jfk
Was assassinated.
808
00:31:37,096 --> 00:31:39,431
I never believed
The lone-gunman theory.
809
00:31:39,498 --> 00:31:42,034
Uh, perhaps on saturday
Would be better.
810
00:31:42,101 --> 00:31:45,237
We're going to be busy
Disposing of the bodies.
811
00:31:45,304 --> 00:31:47,006
Bodies?
812
00:31:47,073 --> 00:31:49,008
The hombres
Who sell us the papers.
813
00:31:49,075 --> 00:31:50,742
We cannot
Leave them alive.
814
00:31:50,809 --> 00:31:52,544
What if the cartel
Finds them?
815
00:31:52,611 --> 00:31:53,412
Of course.
816
00:31:53,479 --> 00:31:56,082
I don't know
What I was thinking.
817
00:31:56,148 --> 00:31:58,850
No matter. New city --
You were very excited.
818
00:31:58,917 --> 00:32:00,652
I was excited.
819
00:32:00,719 --> 00:32:03,956
But with the killing
And disposing and cleaning,
820
00:32:04,023 --> 00:32:05,958
We're going to be
Very busy.
821
00:32:06,025 --> 00:32:09,761
So...We are ending their lives
To start our lives again?
822
00:32:09,828 --> 00:32:13,699
No. No, we are just killing
Them. It makes it simpler.
823
00:32:16,935 --> 00:32:18,604
All right, cadets,
Listen up.
824
00:32:18,670 --> 00:32:21,140
The d.P.D. Junior academy
Is very fortunate
825
00:32:21,207 --> 00:32:23,275
To have
A guest speaker today --
826
00:32:23,342 --> 00:32:25,877
A special friend of mine,
Name of perry.
827
00:32:25,944 --> 00:32:27,646
He's gonna tell
All you shorties
828
00:32:27,713 --> 00:32:30,416
About the horrors
Of leading a life of crime.
829
00:32:30,482 --> 00:32:31,850
Have at it.
830
00:32:31,917 --> 00:32:34,120
W-w-well, kids, uh,
831
00:32:34,186 --> 00:32:37,056
I've made a-a few mistakes
In my life.
832
00:32:37,123 --> 00:32:38,657
Get straight to the horrors.
Nobody cares.
833
00:32:38,724 --> 00:32:40,759
Everybody makes mistakes.
Not everybody's a criminal.
834
00:32:40,826 --> 00:32:42,094
All right.
Okay.
835
00:32:42,161 --> 00:32:44,396
Well, when you lead
A life of crime,
836
00:32:44,463 --> 00:32:47,566
It -- it's easy to fall in,
Uh, with the wrong people.
837
00:32:47,633 --> 00:32:49,068
A-a-and you're starving
838
00:32:49,135 --> 00:32:52,038
Because somebody ate
All your bagel dogs,
839
00:32:52,104 --> 00:32:53,472
And then you wake up
One morning
840
00:32:53,539 --> 00:32:55,341
And there's a guy
Peeing in your sink.
841
00:32:56,442 --> 00:32:58,477
I swear to you --
Uh, okay.
842
00:32:58,544 --> 00:33:01,313
So, kids, as you can see,
Crime is bad.
843
00:33:03,815 --> 00:33:05,151
What did you do?
844
00:33:05,217 --> 00:33:08,520
I falsified 1099 forms
And aided in the forgery
845
00:33:08,587 --> 00:33:11,457
Of illegal
Identification documents.
846
00:33:13,359 --> 00:33:15,194
He stole mail
From old people.
847
00:33:15,261 --> 00:33:16,795
You make me sick!
Boo!
848
00:33:16,862 --> 00:33:19,131
Boo! Boo!
849
00:33:19,198 --> 00:33:22,334
Nice talk, perry.
Good talk.
850
00:33:24,170 --> 00:33:27,005
Hey, teddy.
Everything all right?
851
00:33:27,073 --> 00:33:28,740
Yeah.
852
00:33:28,807 --> 00:33:31,110
Are you sure?
853
00:33:31,177 --> 00:33:33,045
When you get to be
A cop...
854
00:33:33,112 --> 00:33:35,681
Can you arrest
The people who were mean to you
855
00:33:35,747 --> 00:33:36,882
In the sixth grade?
856
00:33:36,948 --> 00:33:40,052
[ chuckles ]
No. No, teddy. You can't.
857
00:33:40,119 --> 00:33:42,788
Unless they
Turn into criminal low-lifes,
858
00:33:42,854 --> 00:33:44,390
Which they probably will.
859
00:33:44,456 --> 00:33:45,457
[ chuckles ]
860
00:33:45,524 --> 00:33:48,360
You know, you're a good guy,
Detective jack.
861
00:33:48,427 --> 00:33:49,895
Really?
862
00:33:49,961 --> 00:33:51,597
Yeah.
863
00:33:51,663 --> 00:33:52,698
Hm.
864
00:33:52,764 --> 00:33:55,567
Kids usually
Don't like me.
865
00:33:55,634 --> 00:33:57,969
Never have,
Even when I was a kid.
866
00:33:58,036 --> 00:33:59,571
Yeah, I get it.
867
00:33:59,638 --> 00:34:01,840
My problem was,
I knew I wanted to be a cop
868
00:34:01,907 --> 00:34:03,242
When I was 8 years old.
869
00:34:03,309 --> 00:34:05,511
That didn't go over too well
In the third grade.
870
00:34:05,577 --> 00:34:09,181
Or any grade, for that matter,
Especially high school.
871
00:34:09,248 --> 00:34:11,617
Look, you're gonna hear
Words "Narc" and "Snitch."
872
00:34:11,683 --> 00:34:13,685
Don't pay attention
To those people, okay?
873
00:34:13,752 --> 00:34:15,053
But you know what?
874
00:34:15,121 --> 00:34:17,223
I'm a grown-up now,
And I'm living my dream.
875
00:34:17,289 --> 00:34:19,525
So I guess the joke's on them,
Right, teddy?
876
00:34:20,959 --> 00:34:22,094
Yeah.
877
00:34:22,161 --> 00:34:24,130
I guess.
878
00:34:25,831 --> 00:34:27,065
[ gun cocks ]
879
00:34:27,133 --> 00:34:28,800
[ marker squeaks ]
880
00:34:28,867 --> 00:34:30,702
[ gun cocks, gunshot ]
881
00:34:30,769 --> 00:34:32,904
Tell me again
Why I can't be wearing my piece.
882
00:34:32,971 --> 00:34:34,240
I hate
Not wearing my piece.
883
00:34:34,306 --> 00:34:35,674
I feel naked
Without my piece.
884
00:34:35,741 --> 00:34:38,009
Because we're supposed to be
Civil servants, dan.
885
00:34:38,076 --> 00:34:39,878
We're supposed to be
Guys from an office
886
00:34:39,945 --> 00:34:41,280
Who process files,
All right?
887
00:34:41,347 --> 00:34:43,549
If the mexicans frisk you
And you're holding a weapon,
888
00:34:43,615 --> 00:34:45,884
It's gonna look
Kind of weird.
889
00:34:45,951 --> 00:34:47,919
Geez, this cover's
Depressin'.
890
00:34:47,986 --> 00:34:49,488
Hi.
891
00:34:49,555 --> 00:34:51,623
You guys got
The real goods?
892
00:34:51,690 --> 00:34:52,758
Yep, right here.
893
00:34:52,824 --> 00:34:54,226
I knew
I liked you guys.
894
00:34:54,293 --> 00:34:56,362
S-s-so, how are we
Gonna handle this?
895
00:34:56,428 --> 00:34:58,597
Uh, I thought maybe
W-we introduce ourselves
896
00:34:58,664 --> 00:35:00,299
And I hand out
Some gum or something.
897
00:35:00,366 --> 00:35:01,867
It's real simple --
898
00:35:01,933 --> 00:35:05,704
I do all the talkin',
You do all the shuttin' up.
899
00:35:07,306 --> 00:35:09,208
Promise me
This is gonna work.
900
00:35:09,275 --> 00:35:10,942
It will work, okay?
901
00:35:11,009 --> 00:35:12,378
Now we just need
To find out
902
00:35:12,444 --> 00:35:14,146
Who these guys are
And what they're up to.
903
00:35:14,213 --> 00:35:16,114
You just need
To try and relax.
904
00:35:16,182 --> 00:35:17,283
You don't understand.
905
00:35:17,349 --> 00:35:19,285
I got to get vic
Out of my life now.
906
00:35:19,351 --> 00:35:21,220
I did not sign up
To be a roommate.
907
00:35:21,287 --> 00:35:22,788
Per,
You have my word --
908
00:35:22,854 --> 00:35:23,955
Anything goes south,
909
00:35:24,022 --> 00:35:26,258
Y-you can always stay
With jack for a couple nights.
910
00:35:26,325 --> 00:35:27,859
No, he can't.
911
00:35:29,060 --> 00:35:30,296
Why not?
912
00:35:30,362 --> 00:35:32,931
Jack: now, here are your
Social-security cards,
913
00:35:32,998 --> 00:35:35,201
Which are
100% authentic.
914
00:35:35,267 --> 00:35:37,269
All right. So we're done here.
Time to get paid.
915
00:35:37,336 --> 00:35:39,471
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hold on. Hold on. Not yet.
916
00:35:39,538 --> 00:35:42,408
Perry needs to take
Their fingerprints,
And then we'll be set.
917
00:35:42,474 --> 00:35:43,575
Perry?
918
00:35:43,642 --> 00:35:46,478
I-I just need y-your thumb
And y-your forefinger.
919
00:35:49,948 --> 00:35:52,984
It's a nice place you got here.
Who's your realtor?
920
00:35:53,051 --> 00:35:54,720
Oh, this is just
A vacation rental.
921
00:35:54,786 --> 00:35:57,189
We're moving to a mansion
Further back from the street,
922
00:35:57,256 --> 00:35:58,424
With marble pillars
923
00:35:58,490 --> 00:36:00,626
And enough space in back
For a live alligator.
924
00:36:02,093 --> 00:36:03,094
Yeah.
925
00:36:03,161 --> 00:36:04,930
That should be fine.
926
00:36:07,366 --> 00:36:11,537
I, um -- I-I-I just have
One last question.
927
00:36:11,603 --> 00:36:13,439
And, uh,
There's no chance
928
00:36:13,505 --> 00:36:15,874
That your, uh, fingerprints
Might show up
929
00:36:15,941 --> 00:36:19,110
On, I don't know, say,
A federal...Database?
930
00:36:19,177 --> 00:36:20,679
Why do you ask that?
931
00:36:20,746 --> 00:36:21,947
Uh...
932
00:36:22,013 --> 00:36:24,750
Just...Due diligence,
Really.
933
00:36:24,816 --> 00:36:26,685
Fingerprints are the one thing
That we can't fake,
934
00:36:26,752 --> 00:36:28,287
So if yours are on file
Anywhere,
935
00:36:28,354 --> 00:36:29,655
We need to know
And know why.
936
00:36:29,721 --> 00:36:31,557
I mean, we can make
Arrangements, of course,
937
00:36:31,623 --> 00:36:33,859
And very discre--
[ whimpers ]
938
00:36:33,925 --> 00:36:37,095
You ask too many questions.
I don't like too many questions.
939
00:36:37,162 --> 00:36:41,099
Phil, you are making
Way too much of this.
940
00:36:41,166 --> 00:36:43,735
Seã‘ores,
Forgive my associate.
941
00:36:43,802 --> 00:36:45,036
The fact is,
942
00:36:45,103 --> 00:36:47,973
It's possible that
Our fingerprints are on file.
943
00:36:49,341 --> 00:36:51,843
We're in the drug trade.
We deal drugs.
944
00:36:51,910 --> 00:36:55,414
Cocaine, mostly,
But we do dabble in others.
945
00:36:55,481 --> 00:36:58,417
Ecstasy.
That's no problem
At all. All we got to do
946
00:36:58,484 --> 00:37:01,553
I got a bad feeling about this.
Is get you set up
With some new handprints,
947
00:37:01,620 --> 00:37:03,555
We just got 'em.
Lickety split,
And we're good to go.
948
00:37:03,622 --> 00:37:06,425
He was awfully forthcoming
With all of that information.
949
00:37:06,492 --> 00:37:08,327
I-I-I don't know.
It just feels like he's gonna --
950
00:37:08,394 --> 00:37:10,429
[ silenced gunshots,
Vic screams ]
...That!
951
00:37:10,496 --> 00:37:12,197
Aah!
Aah!Aah!
952
00:37:12,264 --> 00:37:13,665
Perry:
They shot vic!
953
00:37:13,732 --> 00:37:15,367
Bonnie and clyde,
Thelma and louise,
954
00:37:15,434 --> 00:37:16,902
Butch cassidy
And the sundance kid?!
955
00:37:16,968 --> 00:37:18,870
What?!
They all died!
You got that right.
956
00:37:18,937 --> 00:37:20,339
[ doorknob rattles ]
957
00:37:20,406 --> 00:37:22,374
[ silenced gunshots ]
958
00:37:22,441 --> 00:37:24,676
Perry: oh, god!
There's a pool!
959
00:37:26,044 --> 00:37:28,280
Not a good call!
Not a good call!
960
00:37:28,347 --> 00:37:30,349
Good call!
961
00:37:30,416 --> 00:37:31,817
[ silenced gunshots ]
962
00:37:31,883 --> 00:37:34,320
[ glass shatters ]
963
00:37:48,400 --> 00:37:50,436
I bet they're gonna have
A real hard time
964
00:37:50,502 --> 00:37:51,670
Getting their
Security deposit back!
965
00:37:51,737 --> 00:37:54,005
Move! Move! Move!
[ perry panting ]
966
00:37:56,542 --> 00:37:58,977
[ engine revs, tires screech ]
967
00:37:59,044 --> 00:38:00,111
[ engine turns over ]
968
00:38:00,178 --> 00:38:02,348
[ tires screech ]
969
00:38:10,088 --> 00:38:11,623
[ horn blares ]
970
00:38:23,469 --> 00:38:25,471
Aah!
Aah!
My car!
971
00:38:25,537 --> 00:38:28,774
The hell with your car!
They just shot my ear!
972
00:38:28,840 --> 00:38:30,041
Ears grow back!
973
00:38:30,108 --> 00:38:33,244
That window was
Factory-original!
Son of a bitch!
974
00:38:33,311 --> 00:38:34,580
Blood!
[ gurgles ]
975
00:38:35,481 --> 00:38:37,182
[ silenced gunshots ]
976
00:38:37,248 --> 00:38:39,585
Okay, dan, you know
How I'm always wanting
To call in for backup?
977
00:38:39,651 --> 00:38:40,986
Yeah, I think
I'm gonna do that now.
978
00:38:41,052 --> 00:38:42,320
I got it covered.
979
00:38:42,388 --> 00:38:43,889
What do you mean,
You've got it covered?
980
00:38:43,955 --> 00:38:45,857
[ gun cocks ]
981
00:38:45,924 --> 00:38:47,025
[ chamber clicking ]
982
00:38:47,092 --> 00:38:48,159
[ gunshot ]
983
00:38:48,226 --> 00:38:49,695
Teddy:
There's the bad guys' car.
984
00:38:49,761 --> 00:38:51,530
Okay, people.
Move! Move! Move!
985
00:38:54,366 --> 00:38:56,001
[ gun cocks, chamber clicking ]
986
00:38:56,067 --> 00:38:57,068
[ tires screech ]
987
00:38:57,135 --> 00:38:58,970
Hang on, jacko!
988
00:39:00,439 --> 00:39:01,973
[ tires screech ]
989
00:39:17,188 --> 00:39:18,690
How'd you do that?
990
00:39:18,757 --> 00:39:20,759
I didn't do it.
The junior officers did.
991
00:39:20,826 --> 00:39:22,728
That was actually
Kind of awesome.
992
00:39:22,794 --> 00:39:25,096
It was just kind of
A "In case" sort of deal.
993
00:39:25,163 --> 00:39:26,998
[ tires screech ]
994
00:39:27,065 --> 00:39:29,535
Dan: police!
995
00:39:29,601 --> 00:39:32,037
Freeze, muchacho!
996
00:39:32,103 --> 00:39:35,507
All right!
Nice and easy.
997
00:39:35,574 --> 00:39:37,609
All right.
Give me your paws back here.
998
00:39:37,676 --> 00:39:39,377
Yeah,
We're gonna have to get
999
00:39:39,445 --> 00:39:42,247
Those j.O.'s
Some root beers, celebrate.
1000
00:39:42,313 --> 00:39:44,483
Am I no longer
Phil hardage?
1001
00:39:44,550 --> 00:39:48,019
This is the downside
Of the american dream, tico --
1002
00:39:48,086 --> 00:39:49,154
Law enforcement.
1003
00:39:51,156 --> 00:39:52,257
How you doin'?
1004
00:39:52,323 --> 00:39:53,592
Perry:
How you think I'm doin'?
1005
00:39:53,659 --> 00:39:56,294
I'm covered in glass,
I'm missing half my ear,
1006
00:39:56,361 --> 00:39:58,063
And my house
Is a hazmat site.
1007
00:39:58,129 --> 00:40:01,166
That's what you get
For turnin' to a life of crime.
1008
00:40:02,434 --> 00:40:03,802
Ruiz:
Well, gentlemen,
1009
00:40:03,869 --> 00:40:05,704
Two major figures
In the mexican drug cartel
1010
00:40:05,771 --> 00:40:08,507
Are going down for attempted
Murder and identity fraud,
1011
00:40:08,574 --> 00:40:10,008
Not to mention
Vic and perry,
1012
00:40:10,075 --> 00:40:13,445
Who are also on hold
For identity theft and forgery.
1013
00:40:13,512 --> 00:40:16,281
I got to admit --
This was a nice one.
1014
00:40:16,347 --> 00:40:18,817
Well, you're welcome, lieu.
We're just doing our job.
1015
00:40:18,884 --> 00:40:20,952
I said,
"Was a nice one."
1016
00:40:21,019 --> 00:40:21,820
[ sighs ]
1017
00:40:21,887 --> 00:40:24,155
This little matter
Of yours,
1018
00:40:24,222 --> 00:40:26,558
Of using grade-schoolers as a
Part of your sting operation --
1019
00:40:26,625 --> 00:40:28,727
Yeah, the d.A.
Wasn't a fan of that.
1020
00:40:28,794 --> 00:40:31,329
I know nothing about
The incident to which you refer.
1021
00:40:31,396 --> 00:40:32,564
Exactly, dan.
1022
00:40:32,631 --> 00:40:34,733
In order to save ourselves
The embarrassment
1023
00:40:34,800 --> 00:40:37,569
Of subpoenaing 10-year-olds to
Testify in a major drug trial,
1024
00:40:37,636 --> 00:40:39,738
The d.A. Has decided
To turn this case over
1025
00:40:39,805 --> 00:40:41,707
To the mexican
Government.
1026
00:40:41,773 --> 00:40:43,909
Oh, so they're going to prison,
But in mexico?
1027
00:40:43,975 --> 00:40:44,910
Sã, seã‘or.
1028
00:40:44,976 --> 00:40:46,678
And as far as
The dallas p.D. Is concerned,
1029
00:40:46,745 --> 00:40:48,313
We know nothing
Of this incident.
1030
00:40:48,379 --> 00:40:50,616
Fine.
1031
00:40:50,682 --> 00:40:53,652
[ voice breaking ]
But those junior officers
Still get their trophies.
1032
00:40:58,056 --> 00:40:59,224
Hey.
1033
00:40:59,290 --> 00:41:01,292
Hey.
1034
00:41:01,359 --> 00:41:03,228
[ chuckles softly ]
1035
00:41:03,294 --> 00:41:04,796
You okay?
1036
00:41:04,863 --> 00:41:06,331
Fantastic.
1037
00:41:06,397 --> 00:41:07,999
Yeah, it's not every day
You find out
1038
00:41:08,066 --> 00:41:09,768
That the biggest bust
Of your career
1039
00:41:09,835 --> 00:41:11,069
Officially never happened
1040
00:41:11,136 --> 00:41:13,605
And you've wasted a week
Of your life in the process.
1041
00:41:13,672 --> 00:41:16,007
That's one way
Of looking at it.
1042
00:41:16,074 --> 00:41:17,676
What does that mean?
1043
00:41:17,743 --> 00:41:19,611
[ chuckles ] Well,
After we sorted that mess out,
1044
00:41:19,678 --> 00:41:21,246
I got to sit down
With the junior officers.
1045
00:41:21,312 --> 00:41:22,480
[ groans ]
1046
00:41:22,548 --> 00:41:24,616
They told you everything,
Didn't they?
1047
00:41:24,683 --> 00:41:26,918
Oh, yes. Yes, they did.
And guess what.
1048
00:41:26,985 --> 00:41:30,288
Every single one of them
Wants to be a cop.
1049
00:41:30,355 --> 00:41:32,457
Wow.
1050
00:41:32,524 --> 00:41:34,626
Well,
I guess ruiz was right.
1051
00:41:34,693 --> 00:41:37,295
Detective dan
Has a way with children.
1052
00:41:37,362 --> 00:41:38,363
Mm, no.
1053
00:41:38,429 --> 00:41:39,931
One of them
In particular
1054
00:41:39,998 --> 00:41:42,300
Said detective jack
Had a lot to do with it.
1055
00:41:42,367 --> 00:41:43,702
Really?
1056
00:41:44,770 --> 00:41:46,605
Hm.
1057
00:41:46,672 --> 00:41:48,607
How 'bout that.
[ chuckles ]
1058
00:41:48,674 --> 00:41:51,677
Guess you're not so bad
With the kids, after all.
1059
00:41:51,743 --> 00:41:55,013
Tell the truth -- you've
Never been more attracted
To him in your life.
1060
00:41:56,782 --> 00:41:58,850
I'll catch you later,
Jack.
1061
00:42:00,318 --> 00:42:04,489
How do you do that --
Just show up out of nowhere?
1062
00:42:04,556 --> 00:42:06,424
It's a gift.
1063
00:42:06,491 --> 00:42:08,259
I can smell lust.
76965
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