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GARAGE MUSIC PLAYS
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00:00:09,670 --> 00:00:11,510
Whack one up there, Steves.
3
00:00:12,470 --> 00:00:15,510
This program contains some strong
language.
4
00:00:16,910 --> 00:00:20,470
That lamppost there, Steves,
quick time, quick time.
5
00:00:20,470 --> 00:00:21,830
All right, go.
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00:00:27,390 --> 00:00:29,030
Fuck it. Fuck it. That'll do.
7
00:00:29,030 --> 00:00:31,830
That'll do, Steves, that'll do!
Right, let's go.
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00:00:45,590 --> 00:00:47,830
You lot have got to hold it down,
yeah?
9
00:00:47,830 --> 00:00:50,790
Like, I cannot get caught
on this moped, like.
10
00:00:50,790 --> 00:00:54,150
Since my driving ban,
Roche gets very weird about it.
11
00:00:55,430 --> 00:00:59,070
Oh, fuck, what's he doing up?
12
00:00:59,070 --> 00:01:00,910
He tells his mum everything.
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There's no man code,
do you know what I mean?
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There should be a man code.
15
00:01:06,190 --> 00:01:09,190
If I want to watch pornos, let me,
don't tell your mum.
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00:01:09,190 --> 00:01:12,550
If I want to drive the moped,
let me, don't tell your mum.
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Them ones.
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Little snake.
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00:01:21,870 --> 00:01:24,510
Here you are, Craig,
made you a breakfast.
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Cheers. Want the ketchup?
Yeah, just put it there.
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Ah, he's a man of hidden talents,
isn't he?
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00:01:28,470 --> 00:01:29,750
I'm not hiding anything,
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00:01:29,750 --> 00:01:34,190
so just making sure that Big Man
gets a decent breakfast, like.
24
00:01:34,190 --> 00:01:35,710
What time did you get in last night?
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I heard you creeping about like a
pervert in the middle of the night.
26
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About two.
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More like four.
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Yeah, maybe it was four, actually.
Thank you, Craig.
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So are you trying to work out
a man code with Craig?
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Yeah, but it's a bit weird
cos it's not like a mate man code,
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so I'm just trying to...
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I'm trying to pally it up
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00:01:55,630 --> 00:02:01,910
until we're proper connected,
and then I'll bring the code in.
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00:02:01,910 --> 00:02:04,830
Be good, Craig, catch you later.
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00:02:19,790 --> 00:02:21,750
Weapon X? Here.
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Fantasy? Here.
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Beats? Here.
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Decoy?
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Decoy?
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I drove you here.
41
00:02:32,710 --> 00:02:35,470
Yeah, but just say here, then,
don't...
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00:02:35,470 --> 00:02:37,830
try and overrule everything
constantly.
43
00:02:39,830 --> 00:02:43,950
Right, so obviously today's
a very special day. Yeah.
44
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It is the day of the live caller
competition! Competition.
45
00:02:46,870 --> 00:02:50,710
So, I've got everyone here today
basically to come up with
46
00:02:50,710 --> 00:02:54,630
the question that one of our number
one fans would be able to answer,
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00:02:54,630 --> 00:02:57,030
like, someone who's worthy
of it, do you know what I mean?
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00:02:57,030 --> 00:02:59,910
Not just trying to get a bit of free
perfume and that. Yeah, exactly.
49
00:02:59,910 --> 00:03:03,310
So, everyone needs to think, yeah,
let's think of a question.
50
00:03:03,310 --> 00:03:04,350
Steven?
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00:03:06,310 --> 00:03:07,870
You all right?
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00:03:07,870 --> 00:03:09,950
Fucking hell, it's the bear people.
53
00:03:09,950 --> 00:03:12,590
Yeah, Kurupt FM is so popular, like,
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00:03:12,590 --> 00:03:15,950
if you go anywhere in this area,
then there's a few places that
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00:03:15,950 --> 00:03:18,470
play it. Like, there's
a cafe down there that sometimes
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00:03:18,470 --> 00:03:21,350
when I pop in there they're playing
Kurupt and I think
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00:03:21,350 --> 00:03:24,110
he's just out there and everyone's
listening to his voice, like,
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00:03:24,110 --> 00:03:25,230
it's amazing.
59
00:03:25,230 --> 00:03:27,710
See, it's very, very big
in Brentford area.
60
00:03:27,710 --> 00:03:30,710
We should probably base it around
someone, someone on this station...
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00:03:30,710 --> 00:03:33,550
Hmm. I don't know, maybe one of the
main ones or something like that.
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00:03:33,550 --> 00:03:35,150
What do you lot think?
Like, who's...
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00:03:35,150 --> 00:03:36,670
who's one of the main ones on the...
64
00:03:36,670 --> 00:03:38,590
I'm just trying to think,
do we...do we do...
65
00:03:38,590 --> 00:03:40,310
Probably you. Huh? Probably me?
66
00:03:40,310 --> 00:03:42,750
Yeah, yeah, that's... That could
work, couldn't it? Yes.
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00:03:42,750 --> 00:03:45,310
What if we did a thing, yeah, how do
crop circles get formed?
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00:03:45,310 --> 00:03:47,390
No, just come on, think about
something, think.
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00:03:47,390 --> 00:03:49,510
That is interesting, like,
cos I don't even know.
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00:03:49,510 --> 00:03:51,350
That's proper good.
That's interesting.
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00:03:51,350 --> 00:03:52,510
Yeah, I mean we've always
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done competitions, really. Yeah.
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00:03:54,150 --> 00:03:55,910
Like, it's a part of the whole
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00:03:55,910 --> 00:03:57,790
sort of pirate radio culture,
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do you know what I mean?
Yeah, it's a standard thing.
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00:03:59,990 --> 00:04:02,830
It's like our way of giving back
something to the fans,
77
00:04:02,830 --> 00:04:05,030
you know what I mean?
Like, that's why...
78
00:04:05,030 --> 00:04:09,070
But this time we've got a special
little surprise in store for them.
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00:04:09,070 --> 00:04:12,510
Yeah, we normally give 'em, like,
a £5 phone credit and that,
80
00:04:12,510 --> 00:04:16,510
but this time, erm, they're
getting designer perfume, so.
81
00:04:16,510 --> 00:04:19,550
Yeah, well, that's...that's what
they think anyway, innit?
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00:04:19,550 --> 00:04:22,470
Oh, are they not getting the perfume?
No, they are, but... Oh.
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00:04:22,470 --> 00:04:25,430
Got an extra little twist
this time, yeah.
84
00:04:25,430 --> 00:04:27,470
Yeah, me and Grindah are going
to surprise 'em.
85
00:04:27,470 --> 00:04:28,790
Don't say it when I've...
86
00:04:28,790 --> 00:04:32,470
Cos there's a video, yeah,
on YouTube where the Crost...
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00:04:32,470 --> 00:04:35,750
What's it called? Roswell, where the
thing landed, crashed down,
88
00:04:35,750 --> 00:04:38,550
and they had a dead one,
they actually did a autopsy on it.
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00:04:38,550 --> 00:04:41,190
Right, can we just... And it's all
there, like, it's all proof.
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00:04:41,190 --> 00:04:43,430
Can we just focus now, yeah?
Focus on the question.
91
00:04:43,430 --> 00:04:46,430
Ah, what about what was Grindah's
old MC name?
92
00:04:46,430 --> 00:04:48,710
That's... I don't know, could
that...? Is that...?
93
00:04:48,710 --> 00:04:50,510
Do you think anyone
would know that or...?
94
00:04:50,510 --> 00:04:52,670
Do I think everyone...?
Of course they'd know it.
95
00:04:52,670 --> 00:04:53,830
Everyone knows who I am.
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00:04:53,830 --> 00:04:55,390
Don't you think it's too easy, mate?
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00:04:55,390 --> 00:04:57,950
I could think of a harder one
if you like. Don't... Just sshh.
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00:04:57,950 --> 00:04:59,510
Stop getting in his head, all right,
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00:04:59,510 --> 00:05:02,270
cos you're making it all about you
again when it's actually about
100
00:05:02,270 --> 00:05:04,470
giving something back to one of the
fans, all right?
101
00:05:09,150 --> 00:05:10,750
Here we go.
102
00:05:10,750 --> 00:05:11,790
This is the prize
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00:05:11,790 --> 00:05:13,150
that I've kindly donated.
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It is Sean Paul Gaultier,
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world exclusive.
106
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Only available from Chabuddy's
Worldwide Internet Cabin Cafe.
107
00:05:22,350 --> 00:05:24,150
Um, they've started to go
a bit stagnant
108
00:05:24,150 --> 00:05:25,790
so I thought might as well shift a...
109
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VACUUM CLEANER HUMS
110
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Ho-ho-ho!
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There we go. What every man needs,
a bloody good woman, isn't it?
112
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Aldona!
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I missed you!
HE LAUGHS
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Move. All right.
115
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She, er... Big day today for Aldona.
116
00:05:45,230 --> 00:05:47,430
Her brother's coming over from Poland
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and she's just doing a bit of
cleaning.
118
00:05:49,630 --> 00:05:52,390
Um... She doesn't
clean like this for me.
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00:05:52,390 --> 00:05:54,710
SHE SPEAKS POLISH
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00:05:54,710 --> 00:05:55,830
Ah, I forgive you.
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00:05:57,070 --> 00:05:58,430
Very good, very good.
122
00:06:03,950 --> 00:06:06,910
What's it like on competition days?
123
00:06:06,910 --> 00:06:09,750
It's tiring and you've got to
put in a lot of energy,
124
00:06:09,750 --> 00:06:12,070
and also you're blazing all day,
so... Kevin?
125
00:06:12,070 --> 00:06:14,670
..don't want to get a headache.
126
00:06:14,670 --> 00:06:18,950
Huh? I could've sworn that moped was
facing the other way yesterday.
127
00:06:18,950 --> 00:06:20,910
Is it? Really?
128
00:06:20,910 --> 00:06:23,470
Yeah. No-one's been using it,
have they?
129
00:06:23,470 --> 00:06:24,870
No. Sure?
130
00:06:26,030 --> 00:06:29,590
Oh, yeah, er... Cos I must've
131
00:06:29,590 --> 00:06:32,950
moved it cos the sunlight's
hitting one side
132
00:06:32,950 --> 00:06:37,870
and so the colour was fading, so I
turned it round so that it's even.
133
00:06:37,870 --> 00:06:39,030
Forgot about that.
134
00:06:39,030 --> 00:06:41,230
You do remember our little deal,
though, don't you?
135
00:06:41,230 --> 00:06:43,790
Yeah, yeah, of course. Do you want
to tell these lot about it?
136
00:06:43,790 --> 00:06:45,630
Yeah, man's on a driving ban
right now,
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00:06:45,630 --> 00:06:48,030
so I can't really drive the moped,
like. And?
138
00:06:49,070 --> 00:06:52,190
And we've got a deal where I can't
drive the moped. And?
139
00:06:53,750 --> 00:06:57,470
And if I do drive the ped, then I've
got to pick up all the hard tissues
140
00:06:57,470 --> 00:06:58,830
from under Craig's bed.
141
00:06:58,830 --> 00:07:01,790
I don't even want to think about how
many there must be under that bed
142
00:07:01,790 --> 00:07:04,910
right now.
It's probably like papier-mache.
143
00:07:06,230 --> 00:07:07,590
Sorry, mate.
144
00:07:12,590 --> 00:07:15,470
What? Nothing, mate, you just eat
your ham. Nothing.
145
00:07:15,470 --> 00:07:17,230
All right.
Take it up, take that with you.
146
00:07:17,230 --> 00:07:18,590
Get your strength up, love.
147
00:07:21,190 --> 00:07:23,790
Do you enjoy spending time
with the family, then?
148
00:07:23,790 --> 00:07:25,630
Yeah, I really... I've start...
149
00:07:25,630 --> 00:07:29,350
At first I, like, just come in
to see Roche, just checking her
150
00:07:29,350 --> 00:07:33,550
every now and then, do you know what
I mean? No strings attached, simple.
151
00:07:33,550 --> 00:07:38,550
But then I met the little man and it
all changed. I felt passion.
152
00:07:38,550 --> 00:07:42,950
And, er... Do you, er,
do you like older women?
153
00:07:42,950 --> 00:07:44,230
Who me? Yeah.
154
00:07:46,150 --> 00:07:47,990
I get whatever I can,
to be honest with you,
155
00:07:47,990 --> 00:07:50,670
and it just so happened that Roche
liked man,
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00:07:50,670 --> 00:07:52,590
so I just went true on it.
157
00:07:52,590 --> 00:07:54,270
What?
158
00:07:54,270 --> 00:07:56,790
TANNOY: The next train to arrive on
platform one will be...
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00:07:56,790 --> 00:07:57,870
He should be coming now.
160
00:07:59,270 --> 00:08:01,150
Excited?
161
00:08:01,150 --> 00:08:05,630
Is that him? No, that's just
a black woman. It's OK.
162
00:08:05,630 --> 00:08:08,030
Dalek! That's him.
163
00:08:12,270 --> 00:08:13,910
That's nice.
164
00:08:13,910 --> 00:08:16,830
They are really affectionate,
you know, that's the thing.
165
00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:18,270
How are you doing, you all right?
166
00:08:18,270 --> 00:08:19,310
SHE SPEAKS POLISH
167
00:08:21,030 --> 00:08:23,910
You came on train, yeah?
Train, yeah.
168
00:08:23,910 --> 00:08:24,950
Yeah.
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00:08:27,870 --> 00:08:29,470
All right, jump in the Merc.
170
00:08:35,230 --> 00:08:38,270
MC'ING
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00:08:42,790 --> 00:08:45,390
Right about now we're running
a competition, yeah.
172
00:08:45,390 --> 00:08:47,630
Live callers, come through.
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00:08:47,630 --> 00:08:51,670
Come through. So the question is,
what is my old MC name?
174
00:08:51,670 --> 00:08:55,470
So that is, what is
MC Grindah's old MC name?
175
00:08:55,470 --> 00:09:00,350
Phone line number to get you
through will be... 07700 9001 108.9.
176
00:09:00,350 --> 00:09:04,270
So to get your hands on some
exclusive perfume
177
00:09:04,270 --> 00:09:07,070
you know what to do. Call us.
178
00:09:07,070 --> 00:09:10,310
Don't say it, they already know,
just... All right.
179
00:09:10,310 --> 00:09:13,870
So, OK, next up we're just going
to run a little message
180
00:09:13,870 --> 00:09:16,630
from one of our sponsors
letting you know that
181
00:09:16,630 --> 00:09:19,070
if you want to be winning yourself
something, something,
182
00:09:19,070 --> 00:09:21,590
tonight, tonight then you'd better
get to know.
183
00:09:21,590 --> 00:09:25,110
RECORDING: If you are one of our
lucky competition winners today,
184
00:09:25,110 --> 00:09:27,270
you can collect your prize,
an exclusive bottle of
185
00:09:27,270 --> 00:09:29,190
limited edition Sean Paul Gaultier
perfume
186
00:09:29,190 --> 00:09:31,310
from Chabuddy's Worldwide Internet
Cabin Cafe.
187
00:09:31,310 --> 00:09:33,310
But wait, that's not all...
No, no, that is all.
188
00:09:34,550 --> 00:09:35,790
Did you lot hear that?
189
00:09:37,230 --> 00:09:38,630
HE LAUGHS
190
00:09:38,630 --> 00:09:41,710
Oh, it's just me on bloody radio
again, isn't it?
191
00:09:41,710 --> 00:09:43,350
Bit of advice for you actually,
mate,
192
00:09:43,350 --> 00:09:45,150
I know you're fresh off the boat
and that,
193
00:09:45,150 --> 00:09:49,470
ladies love a disco jockey, mate.
A DJ? Yeah, a DJ.
194
00:09:49,470 --> 00:09:51,270
No, I like man in kitchen.
195
00:09:52,710 --> 00:09:55,550
I like when I hear you cook. Yeah?
196
00:09:55,550 --> 00:09:57,790
Mm. OK.
197
00:09:57,790 --> 00:09:59,390
I think I know what you want.
198
00:10:05,630 --> 00:10:07,990
Aldona, I'm chopping stuff.
199
00:10:07,990 --> 00:10:11,950
Mmm. You like that, yeah? Mmm, nice.
200
00:10:11,950 --> 00:10:15,390
Did you hear that? I'm chopping.
I was chopping stuff just then.
201
00:10:15,390 --> 00:10:17,590
Yes, it's, er... You heard it?
202
00:10:17,590 --> 00:10:19,590
..very sexy. Yeah?
203
00:10:19,590 --> 00:10:22,070
You chop more? More? Mm.
204
00:10:22,070 --> 00:10:23,510
You're greedy.
205
00:10:26,830 --> 00:10:29,870
THEY SPEAK POLISH
206
00:10:31,350 --> 00:10:32,670
I'm marinating.
207
00:10:34,310 --> 00:10:37,270
You can't hear it,
but I'm marinating.
208
00:10:50,990 --> 00:10:52,790
They're his moped keys.
209
00:10:52,790 --> 00:10:54,830
Craig!
210
00:10:54,830 --> 00:10:57,590
Have you seen Kevin on his moped?
211
00:10:57,590 --> 00:10:59,630
Yeah, why? When?
212
00:10:59,630 --> 00:11:00,670
Last night.
213
00:11:01,990 --> 00:11:03,750
Right, then.
214
00:11:03,750 --> 00:11:05,470
What use is he to us in prison?
215
00:11:07,710 --> 00:11:10,510
"What use is he to us?"
is more the question.
216
00:11:13,910 --> 00:11:16,270
Who's going to be my selector
on point?
217
00:11:16,270 --> 00:11:18,230
Don't know, don't know.
218
00:11:18,230 --> 00:11:20,710
Ladies and gentlemen, if you're
listening, this is one of
219
00:11:20,710 --> 00:11:24,590
the famous Kurupt FM giveaways,
yeah. Make sure you dial the number.
220
00:11:24,590 --> 00:11:27,670
Exactly. Do not miss out!
It's a competition, yeah?
221
00:11:27,670 --> 00:11:30,350
Exactly. So, and the question is...
222
00:11:30,350 --> 00:11:32,990
What is my old MC name?
223
00:11:34,470 --> 00:11:36,230
PHONE RINGS
224
00:11:36,230 --> 00:11:41,470
Ah, shh, everyone quiet, be quiet.
Come on, turn it down.
225
00:11:41,470 --> 00:11:44,590
Caller, you're live. What's your name
and where do you come from?
226
00:11:44,590 --> 00:11:47,230
Ah, yeah, it's Ben from Isleworth.
Hold tight, Ben.
227
00:11:47,230 --> 00:11:50,190
Ah, big up the Isleworth mandem.
I sees ya.
228
00:11:50,190 --> 00:11:52,470
What's the question?
What, are you...
229
00:11:52,470 --> 00:11:54,310
What is my MC name?
230
00:11:55,230 --> 00:11:56,430
Which one are you?
231
00:11:56,430 --> 00:11:58,070
Oh, for f... Cut him, cut him off.
232
00:12:00,070 --> 00:12:01,950
Well, that was pointless, wasn't it?
233
00:12:01,950 --> 00:12:04,310
Big up all the pointless ringers,
like, make sure...
234
00:12:04,310 --> 00:12:05,830
No, let me illiterate, yeah?
235
00:12:05,830 --> 00:12:08,950
If you call up, make sure
you've got the right answer.
236
00:12:08,950 --> 00:12:10,070
Caller, you're blocked.
237
00:12:10,070 --> 00:12:12,310
Yeah, you're blocked, mate,
your number's blocked.
238
00:12:12,310 --> 00:12:14,670
You can't even get no shout-outs,
no relays.
239
00:12:14,670 --> 00:12:17,150
So, you've made your bed,
now sit in it. You lose.
240
00:12:17,150 --> 00:12:19,270
We always have, like,
a little sort of VIP party
241
00:12:19,270 --> 00:12:21,430
when there's something special
going on at radio.
242
00:12:21,430 --> 00:12:24,230
Having mocktails, aren't we, Ange?
243
00:12:24,230 --> 00:12:25,830
There you go.
244
00:12:25,830 --> 00:12:28,630
I tried to put, like, a bit of salt
round the edge so that, you know,
245
00:12:28,630 --> 00:12:31,630
it'd be like a proper cocktail,
but it all just sort of fell in.
246
00:12:31,630 --> 00:12:33,870
Here's to a big night, hey? Yeah.
247
00:12:35,030 --> 00:12:36,190
Down it in one.
248
00:12:36,190 --> 00:12:37,350
Or you don't have to.
249
00:12:41,710 --> 00:12:43,870
Little bit more sugar?
250
00:12:43,870 --> 00:12:44,910
Yeah, all right.
251
00:12:47,150 --> 00:12:50,190
THEY SPEAK IN POLISH
252
00:13:05,790 --> 00:13:08,430
Ah, this is so much fun, guys.
253
00:13:08,430 --> 00:13:10,750
Er, what shall we do tonight?
254
00:13:10,750 --> 00:13:12,390
I'll tell you what,
255
00:13:12,390 --> 00:13:15,190
I'll get the CDs out, have a little
disco party, DJ party,
256
00:13:15,190 --> 00:13:17,510
what do you reckon, huh?
257
00:13:17,510 --> 00:13:19,790
HE SPEAKS POLISH
258
00:13:19,790 --> 00:13:20,830
He's bang on it.
259
00:13:23,590 --> 00:13:25,310
Baby? Yes, baby?
260
00:13:26,510 --> 00:13:28,670
Yes? Get me more beer?
261
00:13:28,670 --> 00:13:32,070
OK, OK, I can do that.
Drinking games? I like that.
262
00:13:32,070 --> 00:13:34,350
Go hard or go home
back to bloody Poland.
263
00:13:34,350 --> 00:13:36,590
Can you go now? Now?
264
00:13:36,590 --> 00:13:37,830
OK, OK, all the way,
265
00:13:37,830 --> 00:13:40,110
if you tell me to. You know
I like to be bossed around.
266
00:13:40,110 --> 00:13:41,630
OK, go now or I hit you.
267
00:13:41,630 --> 00:13:43,150
OK, OK.
268
00:13:43,150 --> 00:13:44,750
I like that, I like that.
269
00:13:44,750 --> 00:13:48,230
Treat me mean, keep me keen.
Keep me erect, more like.
270
00:13:50,310 --> 00:13:53,190
It's alL right,
he doesn't understand.
271
00:13:53,190 --> 00:13:55,630
Me and Aldona like to role-play,
you know,
272
00:13:55,630 --> 00:13:58,310
she'd call me, like, these
funny racist names and things,
273
00:13:58,310 --> 00:14:00,510
like "you dirty, curry-eating
bastard"
274
00:14:00,510 --> 00:14:02,750
and "get back into the lorry that you
climbed out of"
275
00:14:02,750 --> 00:14:03,910
and stuff like that.
276
00:14:03,910 --> 00:14:06,990
I bloody love it, to be fair.
I really like it, you know.
277
00:14:06,990 --> 00:14:10,910
She'll say things like, er, that my
penis is like a really weird colour
278
00:14:10,910 --> 00:14:13,270
and that it's tiny and stuff
like that, you know.
279
00:14:13,270 --> 00:14:14,350
Sexy, you know.
280
00:14:15,750 --> 00:14:17,790
Maybe we should change the question.
281
00:14:17,790 --> 00:14:20,510
No, we're not going to change
the question until someone
282
00:14:20,510 --> 00:14:24,750
gets it right, and then there's no
point to change it anyway, so, no.
283
00:14:26,310 --> 00:14:28,550
Actually, you know what it is,
just one last...
284
00:14:28,550 --> 00:14:30,870
Let me use your phone?
285
00:14:32,510 --> 00:14:34,910
I mean give it a bell,
see if it works.
286
00:14:34,910 --> 00:14:36,070
Cos it might not be...
287
00:14:36,070 --> 00:14:38,390
It might be signal
cos of the cameras and that. Yeah.
288
00:14:40,830 --> 00:14:41,950
PHONE RINGS
Hello.
289
00:14:41,950 --> 00:14:43,790
Oh, for... No, it's working.
290
00:14:43,790 --> 00:14:46,030
Pointless, then, innit?
291
00:14:46,030 --> 00:14:48,630
Ah, you know what?
Whatever, leave it.
292
00:14:54,710 --> 00:14:57,750
MUFFLED DANCE MUSIC PLAYS
293
00:14:58,790 --> 00:15:00,510
MUFFLED LAUGHTER FROM INSIDE
294
00:15:02,270 --> 00:15:03,870
Aldona!
295
00:15:06,550 --> 00:15:07,910
Sweetie face.
296
00:15:09,910 --> 00:15:11,030
Sugar tits.
297
00:15:23,150 --> 00:15:25,030
Ah, it's all steamed up.
298
00:15:27,350 --> 00:15:29,430
They must've found my Wii dance mat.
299
00:15:35,110 --> 00:15:36,550
Authentic Polish beers.
300
00:15:45,950 --> 00:15:48,270
Absolutely pointless.
301
00:15:49,750 --> 00:15:53,270
PHONE RINGS
302
00:15:54,950 --> 00:15:58,070
Hello and welcome to the
Kurupt FM hotline.
303
00:15:59,110 --> 00:16:02,310
What's your name and that?
It's Joe from Brentford.
304
00:16:02,310 --> 00:16:04,230
Yes, Joseph. Erm...
305
00:16:05,550 --> 00:16:06,670
What's the answer?
306
00:16:08,030 --> 00:16:11,630
Er, did he used to be
called MC Sniper?
307
00:16:11,630 --> 00:16:14,310
Oi! Oh-h!
308
00:16:14,310 --> 00:16:15,670
Sound! Sound!
309
00:16:15,670 --> 00:16:17,310
Ho! Ho! Ho!
310
00:16:17,310 --> 00:16:20,430
Ah, mate! It's going absolutely...
They're going absolutely...
311
00:16:20,430 --> 00:16:22,670
..wild inside! Yeah.
It's like rampage.
312
00:16:22,670 --> 00:16:25,870
Everyone inside's going mental, like.
It's like rampage, a carnival here.
313
00:16:25,870 --> 00:16:27,710
It is, mate. How are you feeling,
Joe, mate?
314
00:16:27,710 --> 00:16:31,030
Good, yeah, cheers, guys, yeah.
Sounds over the moon, doesn't he?
315
00:16:31,030 --> 00:16:33,470
Can I get the perfume posted
just cos I'm working?
316
00:16:33,470 --> 00:16:35,230
Er, sorry, mate,
you can't get it posted.
317
00:16:35,230 --> 00:16:37,670
You're going to have to go down
Chabuddy's internet cafe.
318
00:16:37,670 --> 00:16:38,870
We'll text you the address.
319
00:16:38,870 --> 00:16:41,150
Ah, God, you're going to have
such a great time.
320
00:16:41,150 --> 00:16:43,510
All right, no worries. Cheers, guys.
All right. Uh-uh.
321
00:16:43,510 --> 00:16:45,230
Any final words, mate?
322
00:16:45,230 --> 00:16:47,870
Er... No, he's been cut off.
He's probably overexcited.
323
00:16:47,870 --> 00:16:50,670
Yeah, probably smiling too much
the cheek pressed the button.
324
00:16:50,670 --> 00:16:53,270
Yeah, uh-huh. Big up Joe.
325
00:16:53,270 --> 00:16:58,750
That was so nerve-racking, like,
such an amazing day for Joe, though.
326
00:16:58,750 --> 00:17:02,510
Ah, little lightweight.
She can't party like her mum can.
327
00:17:04,590 --> 00:17:06,070
Shall we get a couple of beers in?
328
00:17:06,070 --> 00:17:07,310
Yeah, let's get the beers in.
329
00:17:07,310 --> 00:17:09,550
Wepster, up with you, mate,
let's get a few beers.
330
00:17:09,550 --> 00:17:12,270
You boys up for a few beers? Yeah.
Let's go, mate, come on.
331
00:17:12,270 --> 00:17:15,910
Er, mate! Jesus, that is...
And we're going to surprise him.
332
00:17:15,910 --> 00:17:18,910
Whoo! Boys, I've been sick, bruv.
Huh? I've been sick, bruv.
333
00:17:18,910 --> 00:17:21,270
Er, we'll get him to clean it up
himself in the morning
334
00:17:21,270 --> 00:17:23,030
since it's part of his morning
clear-up.
335
00:17:23,030 --> 00:17:25,990
Ah, that's a fucking success.
That is a fucking success, mate.
336
00:17:25,990 --> 00:17:27,030
Grindah...
337
00:17:28,830 --> 00:17:30,430
Graffiti style, so.
338
00:17:30,430 --> 00:17:32,950
I might even do a little...
339
00:17:32,950 --> 00:17:34,670
headphone sign there as well. Yeah.
340
00:17:34,670 --> 00:17:37,870
Er, it looks like a penis, mate.
Just don't...
341
00:17:37,870 --> 00:17:39,070
We'll go...
342
00:17:40,830 --> 00:17:42,870
We turned it into a K, so...
Oh, yeah.
343
00:17:42,870 --> 00:17:44,830
Kurupt. It's like our logo.
344
00:17:44,830 --> 00:17:46,270
Kuruption.
345
00:17:47,830 --> 00:17:49,350
MUFFLED DANCE MUSIC PLAYS
346
00:17:50,910 --> 00:17:53,670
I'll probably just wait in the Merc,
it's a bit warmer in here.
347
00:17:59,790 --> 00:18:02,390
They're obviously having some
kind of dance-off tournament
348
00:18:02,390 --> 00:18:03,990
or something, you know.
349
00:18:03,990 --> 00:18:07,070
It's lucky I'm not involved, bro,
I'd probably win every round.
350
00:18:18,430 --> 00:18:21,670
Probably... Probably call it a night,
yeah, lads, yeah?
351
00:18:33,750 --> 00:18:36,070
Quite a lot this time, yeah? Yeah.
352
00:18:36,070 --> 00:18:38,310
You know how I like it, don't ya?
Yeah, I know. Loads.
353
00:18:38,310 --> 00:18:40,950
No, don't have it all sticking up
and that, I'm not in a boy band.
354
00:18:40,950 --> 00:18:41,990
No, that's just...
355
00:18:41,990 --> 00:18:44,590
Just make sure your head's straight.
OK. Thank you.
356
00:18:44,590 --> 00:18:46,950
Make sure it's all forward
with the bits, like...
357
00:18:46,950 --> 00:18:49,830
Yeah, no, I know how to do it.
I invented this one for you.
358
00:18:49,830 --> 00:18:52,310
It's one of the things I like most
about the job actually,
359
00:18:52,310 --> 00:18:56,230
is the, er... If I'm honest, is the
public appearances, innit? Yeah.
360
00:18:56,230 --> 00:18:57,550
It must be, like, so exciting,
361
00:18:57,550 --> 00:18:59,870
like, meeting your real-life
heroes in real life.
362
00:18:59,870 --> 00:19:02,870
Yeah, it is. It's, yeah,
in our industry, yeah,
363
00:19:02,870 --> 00:19:05,870
we have to give back to the fans,
do you know what I mean? Yeah.
364
00:19:05,870 --> 00:19:10,390
It's like, one little moment
in my life will change a fan's life
365
00:19:10,390 --> 00:19:12,590
forever, probably, so. Yeah.
366
00:19:12,590 --> 00:19:14,750
No, I don't really get jealous,
cos, like,
367
00:19:14,750 --> 00:19:17,630
I understand what it takes to be in
this sort of industry, like.
368
00:19:17,630 --> 00:19:19,510
I read a lot of celeb magazines.
369
00:19:19,510 --> 00:19:21,670
Like, obviously I'm going to have to
get used to,
370
00:19:21,670 --> 00:19:24,230
like, girls chasing after Grindah
and that kind of thing,
371
00:19:24,230 --> 00:19:27,150
but you just have that
trust between you.
372
00:19:27,150 --> 00:19:29,670
And anyway, like, if anything was
going on I'd know about it
373
00:19:29,670 --> 00:19:32,070
cos I look through all his e-mails
and texts.
374
00:19:32,070 --> 00:19:34,230
That's perfect, that is.
Looks good, doesn't it?
375
00:19:34,230 --> 00:19:36,550
Yeah, looks really nice.
What hat shall I wear with it?
376
00:19:36,550 --> 00:19:38,350
Oh, no, you don't need a hat,
like, no.
377
00:19:38,350 --> 00:19:40,950
Sshh... I'm an MC, I need a hat, OK?
378
00:19:42,310 --> 00:19:43,350
Get me a hat.
379
00:19:44,830 --> 00:19:45,870
There you go.
380
00:19:52,390 --> 00:19:54,150
Spot on. Yeah.
381
00:19:56,670 --> 00:19:57,710
Now get the jeans.
382
00:20:10,230 --> 00:20:14,310
Quite nervous actually.
Erm, about to meet a fan,
383
00:20:14,310 --> 00:20:17,950
so never done that before,
it's real exciting. You going out?
384
00:20:21,350 --> 00:20:23,590
Huh? Where are you going?
385
00:20:23,590 --> 00:20:25,550
Just got this, this radio thing...
386
00:20:25,550 --> 00:20:27,110
All right, I was just wondering,
387
00:20:27,110 --> 00:20:29,350
um, what's better out of Nuts
and Zoo magazine?
388
00:20:30,950 --> 00:20:33,830
Nuts, more posters. Why?
389
00:20:33,830 --> 00:20:37,590
Well, I was just thinking I'd get
Craig a bit of afternoon reading.
390
00:20:38,670 --> 00:20:41,390
Are they...? They're my moped keys,
yeah?
391
00:20:41,390 --> 00:20:43,790
Yeah, they are.
392
00:20:43,790 --> 00:20:45,510
Look, Roche, I'm really sorry, yeah,
393
00:20:45,510 --> 00:20:47,990
but I had to, like, ride it
the other night.
394
00:20:47,990 --> 00:20:49,430
It didn't mean anything, though.
395
00:20:49,430 --> 00:20:51,550
Well, it does mean something,
doesn't it?
396
00:20:51,550 --> 00:20:53,230
It means you've broken the deal.
397
00:20:53,230 --> 00:20:54,590
Is Roche the boss?
398
00:20:54,590 --> 00:20:58,230
Nah, not of me. I'm my own boss.
399
00:20:58,230 --> 00:20:59,950
I control my own chakra.
400
00:20:59,950 --> 00:21:02,510
Looked like you'd been in a bit
of trouble recently, though.
401
00:21:02,510 --> 00:21:05,510
Yeah, yeah, I've been in a bit
of trouble recently but, still,
402
00:21:05,510 --> 00:21:08,070
it doesn't make me not the boss of my
own life.
403
00:21:09,230 --> 00:21:11,150
Nah, she is in charge,
though, to be fair.
404
00:21:11,150 --> 00:21:13,750
Realistically, yeah,
she's in charge.
405
00:21:13,750 --> 00:21:16,790
Cos you know, she'll be seeing this.
Yeah, exactly, that's why I said it.
406
00:21:16,790 --> 00:21:20,190
All right, well, I'm really sorry.
I'll do it when I get back, yeah?
407
00:21:20,190 --> 00:21:23,590
Mm-hm. All right, sweet.
408
00:21:23,590 --> 00:21:26,030
Well, you might want to pick up some
gloves on your way back
409
00:21:26,030 --> 00:21:28,430
to stop the fresh ones from sticking
to your hands.
410
00:21:34,270 --> 00:21:36,070
Disappointed in you, son. Why?
411
00:21:44,350 --> 00:21:47,310
So, brother, nice one. Easy, boys.
412
00:21:49,030 --> 00:21:52,550
You're ready for fan signing, yeah?
Wah-hey! Good balls! He loves it.
413
00:21:52,550 --> 00:21:56,150
Both of them are. So this is our,
um, our little fan day,
414
00:21:56,150 --> 00:21:58,950
do you know what I mean? They're
going to love it, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
415
00:22:00,430 --> 00:22:03,470
Chabsy! Chabsy!
Let me do it first. OK.
416
00:22:05,110 --> 00:22:07,470
Think he's in the van. Chab... Oh.
417
00:22:07,470 --> 00:22:10,910
Is that him? Oh, he's asleep.
Sh-sh.
418
00:22:10,910 --> 00:22:13,230
Pranked him. Shall I?
Classic prank.
419
00:22:13,230 --> 00:22:14,430
I'll prank him as well.
420
00:22:15,750 --> 00:22:17,510
WHISPERING
421
00:22:17,510 --> 00:22:18,990
Chabsy!
422
00:22:20,470 --> 00:22:23,630
Where the fuck have you been?
You look fucked, mate.
423
00:22:23,630 --> 00:22:25,390
Yeah...
424
00:22:25,390 --> 00:22:27,950
I had a bit of a mental one
last night in the Portakabin,
425
00:22:27,950 --> 00:22:29,190
a little party.
426
00:22:29,190 --> 00:22:31,430
Er...I must've drunk about eight
or nine beers.
427
00:22:31,430 --> 00:22:33,270
I fell asleep in the van
by accident.
428
00:22:33,270 --> 00:22:35,070
Is that Aldona's brother, yeah?
Yeah.
429
00:22:35,070 --> 00:22:37,990
They're a bit close, aren't they?
Hey, don't judge, mate, all right?
430
00:22:37,990 --> 00:22:40,550
If you haven't been to Poland,
then you don't understand it,
431
00:22:40,550 --> 00:22:43,790
it's different. All right, see that.
I might just go and help him pack.
432
00:22:43,790 --> 00:22:46,390
He's got to catch a train or
something. All right there, mate?
433
00:22:46,390 --> 00:22:48,550
Have a shower or something, yeah?
All right, mate.
434
00:22:48,550 --> 00:22:50,750
Is it all right to use your van?
The van? Oh, the Merc?
435
00:22:50,750 --> 00:22:52,470
Yeah. All right, nice one. Ah-h!
436
00:22:52,470 --> 00:22:55,390
Now we can burst out like a music
video, like get out the way!
437
00:22:55,390 --> 00:22:58,950
BOTH: Get out the way,
someone's getting shot, wah-hey!
438
00:22:58,950 --> 00:23:00,590
So if you hadn't been in music,
439
00:23:00,590 --> 00:23:02,590
where would you be now,
do you think?
440
00:23:02,590 --> 00:23:04,990
Probably in a slammer, like,
you know, the street life
441
00:23:04,990 --> 00:23:07,310
technology, like,
do you know what I mean?
442
00:23:07,310 --> 00:23:10,030
When you're in that,
life-street mentality, yeah,
443
00:23:10,030 --> 00:23:11,870
when you're raised in this, yeah,
444
00:23:11,870 --> 00:23:16,550
you've got either music or jail,
like, do you know what I mean?
445
00:23:16,550 --> 00:23:18,510
Yeah. I'd probably work
in Megabulb, Felton,
446
00:23:18,510 --> 00:23:20,710
cos my cousin's got a little job
there, so... Yeah.
447
00:23:20,710 --> 00:23:22,950
..he'd probably hook me up
with that.
448
00:23:22,950 --> 00:23:26,150
Right, so basically, yeah, you're
going to be standing there... Yeah.
449
00:23:26,150 --> 00:23:28,950
..and then all you do is,
it's simple, you just say,
450
00:23:28,950 --> 00:23:30,150
"I ain't got the perfume
451
00:23:30,150 --> 00:23:33,590
"but maybe Grindah can help you out
with that," yeah? Yeah.
452
00:23:33,590 --> 00:23:36,550
And I'm just like, bang,
boot the door open, like.
453
00:23:36,550 --> 00:23:37,990
you know what I mean, yeah? Yeah.
454
00:23:37,990 --> 00:23:40,750
Ah, it's going to be mental,
I'm going to love this.
455
00:23:40,750 --> 00:23:42,230
And they will as well, so.
456
00:23:46,350 --> 00:23:48,190
You lot filmed fan stuff before?
457
00:23:48,190 --> 00:23:51,310
It's pretty... It can get a bit...
458
00:23:51,310 --> 00:23:52,350
on top.
459
00:23:54,230 --> 00:23:56,350
It's started raining out here now,
so.
460
00:23:58,030 --> 00:24:00,430
Are you talking to me? Yeah.
461
00:24:00,430 --> 00:24:01,470
Well, I'm in the van.
462
00:24:03,230 --> 00:24:05,750
Obviously it ain't always
about the glamorous lifestyle,
463
00:24:05,750 --> 00:24:08,070
do you know what I mean?
But we'll probably eventually
464
00:24:08,070 --> 00:24:12,630
have our own merchandise, raves,
er...aftershave line.
465
00:24:12,630 --> 00:24:13,830
I Am Kurupt.
466
00:24:13,830 --> 00:24:15,510
That's the name of it.
467
00:24:15,510 --> 00:24:18,110
Yeah, we actually spoke to
someone at Debenhams about it
468
00:24:18,110 --> 00:24:21,030
and they seemed... Said they was
going to get in contact, so.
469
00:24:21,030 --> 00:24:23,630
She wasn't really sure,
the girl on the perfume bit.
470
00:24:23,630 --> 00:24:26,710
Obviously we need to speak to
people higher up.
471
00:24:26,710 --> 00:24:29,750
I should've just gone round the back
of the van.
472
00:24:29,750 --> 00:24:33,710
Just walked out.
This is a bit of a piss-take now.
473
00:24:33,710 --> 00:24:36,030
Let me ask if he can see him.
474
00:24:36,030 --> 00:24:37,590
Any sign of him or what?
475
00:24:37,590 --> 00:24:39,510
Nothing yet, mate. Dead up.
476
00:24:40,830 --> 00:24:43,430
Hold on.
HE WHISTLES
477
00:24:43,430 --> 00:24:45,910
I can see him now.
Don't forget the signal.
478
00:24:45,910 --> 00:24:48,430
No, I won't.
479
00:24:48,430 --> 00:24:50,430
You all right, mate? Hi there.
480
00:24:50,430 --> 00:24:56,510
You all right? Er, we were going to
give you perfume, but we've run out.
481
00:25:00,630 --> 00:25:02,790
What? Yeah, we've run out,
482
00:25:02,790 --> 00:25:05,390
but maybe...
483
00:25:05,390 --> 00:25:06,790
just maybe...
484
00:25:07,870 --> 00:25:09,230
Huh?
485
00:25:09,230 --> 00:25:12,150
You've locked the door, fuck's sake!
Beats! This is a fucking joke.
486
00:25:12,150 --> 00:25:16,470
Oh, for fuck... That's not it, for
fuck's sake, you've ruined it!
487
00:25:16,470 --> 00:25:19,510
You fucked up the whole thing!
That's not how it was meant to go!
488
00:25:19,510 --> 00:25:21,630
You've completely ruined it!
489
00:25:21,630 --> 00:25:24,390
Should we go again? Do you want to
just... Well, we can't go again,
490
00:25:24,390 --> 00:25:25,950
he's seen me now, look at him.
491
00:25:25,950 --> 00:25:28,350
He's not going to be surprised,
it's a waste of time now,
492
00:25:28,350 --> 00:25:29,910
the whole vibe's been ruined, so...
493
00:25:29,910 --> 00:25:31,790
Let's do a photo,
let's do a picture.
494
00:25:31,790 --> 00:25:33,830
Sure. Steves. I've got a camera.
495
00:25:33,830 --> 00:25:35,070
Whatever, come on, just...
496
00:25:35,070 --> 00:25:36,430
I've got to shoot off in a second
497
00:25:36,430 --> 00:25:38,110
cos I'm just on my lunch break,
so...
498
00:25:38,110 --> 00:25:39,750
Yeah, well,
I'm in a rush as well, so.
499
00:25:41,550 --> 00:25:43,150
That's it.
500
00:25:43,150 --> 00:25:45,990
Actually, have you got one without
all the writing on it?
501
00:25:45,990 --> 00:25:48,750
That's signed by us,
that's the whole point.
502
00:25:48,750 --> 00:25:50,590
Well, it's actually a present.
503
00:25:50,590 --> 00:25:52,670
Go in there afterwards,
he'll sort you out one.
504
00:25:52,670 --> 00:25:54,950
Have you lot got a signing
cos this is a joke, right?
505
00:25:54,950 --> 00:25:57,990
What's the point without us
signing anything, like?
506
00:25:57,990 --> 00:26:00,310
What about the shirt,
like a footballer?
507
00:26:02,350 --> 00:26:04,030
Fuck it, yeah,
let's just use my shirt.
508
00:26:04,030 --> 00:26:05,910
Yeah? Sign the shirt, yeah?
Huh? His...
509
00:26:05,910 --> 00:26:09,270
Said we can sign his shirt.
Sign his shirt? Yeah.
510
00:26:09,270 --> 00:26:12,110
Celebrity fan signing, do you know
what I mean? It's... It's...
511
00:26:12,110 --> 00:26:15,070
This is what happens, part and parcel
of the business, really, innit?
512
00:26:15,070 --> 00:26:17,710
Yeah, pass the parcel. Ah, see now,
come on, let's go, let's go.
513
00:26:17,710 --> 00:26:19,990
Aargh. Ah.
514
00:26:19,990 --> 00:26:22,270
Do the... Smiling yeah?
515
00:26:22,270 --> 00:26:23,350
Do Kurupt K. Yeah.
516
00:26:23,350 --> 00:26:27,750
So, nice one, mate, see you later.
Pop yourself off, yeah?
517
00:26:27,750 --> 00:26:29,630
He loved it.
Did you lot get that, yeah?
518
00:26:29,630 --> 00:26:31,230
Signed his shirt and everything.
519
00:26:31,230 --> 00:26:33,750
It does happen quite a lot,
doesn't it? See you later, mate.
520
00:26:33,750 --> 00:26:34,950
Yeah, I got one, so.
521
00:26:34,950 --> 00:26:36,590
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
522
00:26:36,590 --> 00:26:38,430
Cheers, see you.
See you later, mate. Yeah.
523
00:26:38,430 --> 00:26:40,390
That was really draining,
though, wasn't it?
524
00:26:40,390 --> 00:26:42,990
Yeah, no, it is. You'll have to get
used to it, actually, yeah.
525
00:26:42,990 --> 00:26:46,030
MUSIC: "Neighbourhood"
by Zed Bias
526
00:26:53,710 --> 00:26:57,670
I just love the way that she
kind of treats me like shit.
527
00:26:57,670 --> 00:26:59,030
That's real, you know.
528
00:26:59,030 --> 00:27:01,070
I'd rather be with someone like that
529
00:27:01,070 --> 00:27:03,990
than be with some bloody bimbo bitch,
cos, let's be honest,
530
00:27:03,990 --> 00:27:05,590
most of girls are like that with me.
531
00:27:05,590 --> 00:27:07,870
They see the money,
they see the moustache,
532
00:27:07,870 --> 00:27:10,750
they see the Gucci, the Prada,
Versace and that, yeah.
533
00:27:10,750 --> 00:27:13,310
They're like, "He's obviously got
money," isn't it, yeah?
534
00:27:13,310 --> 00:27:15,190
But I don't want that.
I don't get that.
535
00:27:15,190 --> 00:27:18,070
I want a real bitch, you know,
a real tom needs a real bitch,
536
00:27:18,070 --> 00:27:20,390
and she's a real bitch.
537
00:27:20,390 --> 00:27:21,550
She's my bitch.
538
00:27:30,190 --> 00:27:31,710
Ah-h!
539
00:27:31,710 --> 00:27:34,230
Absolutely bloody mental.
540
00:27:34,230 --> 00:27:36,710
Oh, my God. How did it go?
541
00:27:36,710 --> 00:27:38,190
Yeah, good, actually.
542
00:27:38,190 --> 00:27:41,750
I ended up signing his shirt,
so just standard for me, really.
543
00:27:41,750 --> 00:27:42,990
What, his actual shirt?
544
00:27:42,990 --> 00:27:45,350
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Got you something as well.
545
00:27:45,350 --> 00:27:46,950
What did you get me?
546
00:27:46,950 --> 00:27:50,230
Nothing, just a little
Sean Paul Gaultier perfume.
547
00:27:51,310 --> 00:27:52,870
What?
548
00:27:52,870 --> 00:27:56,190
For free as well. Don't even worry
about giving me any money.
549
00:27:56,190 --> 00:27:57,670
Amazing. Yeah.
550
00:27:57,670 --> 00:27:59,670
Actual Sean Paul Gaultier?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
551
00:27:59,670 --> 00:28:03,430
Aw, thank you so much. Cool, just...
552
00:28:03,430 --> 00:28:04,750
Aw.
553
00:28:05,870 --> 00:28:08,270
It's lovely. Love you.
554
00:28:08,270 --> 00:28:09,310
Huh?
555
00:28:09,310 --> 00:28:10,630
Come on, give me a kiss.
556
00:28:12,270 --> 00:28:14,550
Love you. You too.
557
00:28:16,070 --> 00:28:17,990
And Beats signed it, too,
that's nice.
558
00:28:19,150 --> 00:28:20,190
WHISPERS
559
00:28:20,190 --> 00:28:21,230
BEATS RETCHES
560
00:28:21,230 --> 00:28:22,750
That smells like crab.
561
00:28:26,950 --> 00:28:29,230
Not putting this on the telly.
562
00:28:29,230 --> 00:28:30,390
Stop.
47538
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