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1
00:00:12,600 --> 00:00:13,600
Common' common'.
2
00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:15,000
Salam Aleikum.
3
00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:18,000
Let's get inside.
4
00:00:18,001 --> 00:00:19,200
Hello my beautiful darling.
5
00:00:20,700 --> 00:00:22,150
Salam Aleikum, let's
hurry up inside.
6
00:00:23,700 --> 00:00:26,800
Thank God, finally
our own mosque!
7
00:00:26,801 --> 00:00:29,700
No more shifting from one
basement to another.
8
00:00:30,150 --> 00:00:31,400
Well done Yasir.
9
00:00:32,100 --> 00:00:35,600
- We can hold our head high
- Yes, let's get inside ...
10
00:00:39,300 --> 00:00:40,300
Parish Hall
11
00:00:40,700 --> 00:00:43,400
As muslims, we
must realize,
12
00:00:43,401 --> 00:00:45,800
the ennemy is not
only out there,
13
00:00:45,801 --> 00:00:48,450
the ennemy is much
closer than you think.
14
00:00:48,950 --> 00:00:51,000
The ennemy, is
in your kitchen.
15
00:00:51,001 --> 00:00:53,500
Maybe while the ennemy's in
here, he could do the dishes.
16
00:00:53,501 --> 00:00:55,600
Shhh, he may have a point.
17
00:00:55,650 --> 00:00:57,400
Dad, Baber never has a point.
18
00:00:58,100 --> 00:00:59,300
My point is this:
19
00:01:00,200 --> 00:01:01,700
Wine gums!
20
00:01:02,800 --> 00:01:04,000
Dry bread!
21
00:01:04,600 --> 00:01:05,800
Liquorice !
22
00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:10,200
Western traps designed
to seduce Muslims
23
00:01:10,201 --> 00:01:11,800
to drink alcohol!
24
00:01:12,250 --> 00:01:14,200
His sermons are going to
drive me to drink alcohol.
25
00:01:14,201 --> 00:01:16,500
Patience daughter,
this is his last sermon.
26
00:01:16,501 --> 00:01:18,600
The new imam will be
on his way very soon.
27
00:01:18,801 --> 00:01:21,700
American Idol!
Canadian Idol!
28
00:01:22,500 --> 00:01:25,400
I say all idols must
be smashed!
29
00:01:26,200 --> 00:01:27,600
Desperate Housewives ...
30
00:01:28,100 --> 00:01:30,050
why should they
be desperate
31
00:01:30,051 --> 00:01:33,500
when they're only performing
their natural womenly duties?
32
00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:35,700
Hey did you take
last night's episode?
33
00:01:35,701 --> 00:01:37,200
- It was so good
- Yeah
34
00:01:51,300 --> 00:01:53,900
Allah is great ...
35
00:02:10,250 --> 00:02:12,000
Sorry ... I thought
this was ...
36
00:02:13,050 --> 00:02:14,300
I'm in the wrong place!
37
00:02:16,400 --> 00:02:17,500
Excuse me, wait, just ...
38
00:02:25,400 --> 00:02:26,900
Yes is this the terrorist
attack hotline?
39
00:02:27,700 --> 00:02:28,700
You want me to hold ?
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00:02:30,201 --> 00:02:34,700
s01e01 : Little Mosque
vost english
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transcript : [dx]
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synch : [dx]
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00:02:43,602 --> 00:02:47,602
vidsrc : DSRip.XviD-aAF
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00:02:47,603 --> 00:02:54,205
Freelance Subtitles
[spread it, respect the credits]
45
00:02:54,206 --> 00:02:56,206
enjoy!
46
00:03:06,700 --> 00:03:08,100
Mom, stop it with the guilt ...
47
00:03:09,200 --> 00:03:10,800
No, don't put dad on ...
48
00:03:11,200 --> 00:03:12,400
I've been planning
this for months,
49
00:03:12,401 --> 00:03:14,000
it's not like I dropped
a bomb on them ...
50
00:03:15,800 --> 00:03:17,600
If dad thinks it's
suicide, so be it!
51
00:03:17,601 --> 00:03:19,500
This is Allah's
plan for me.
52
00:03:19,501 --> 00:03:20,501
Oh my ...
53
00:03:21,350 --> 00:03:23,100
I'm not throwing
my life away,
54
00:03:23,101 --> 00:03:25,000
I'm moving to the prairies.
55
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To run a mosque!
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00:03:29,950 --> 00:03:34,100
Step away from the bag, you're
not going to paradise today.
57
00:03:34,101 --> 00:03:35,450
Excuse me, what's going on?
58
00:03:35,451 --> 00:03:36,800
You must have
the wrong person.
59
00:03:38,650 --> 00:03:40,900
I saw 'em bowing you
know, just like on CNN.
60
00:03:40,901 --> 00:03:42,800
They're Muslims, they
pray five times a day.
61
00:03:43,300 --> 00:03:45,500
You rented the Parish Hall
to a bunch of fanatics?
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00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:47,600
Don't be paranoid,
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00:03:47,601 --> 00:03:49,700
many churches rent
spaces to businesses.
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00:03:51,700 --> 00:03:53,150
This is simply
a pilot project.
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00:03:53,900 --> 00:03:55,900
Pilot? They're
training pilots!
66
00:03:56,050 --> 00:03:58,050
Calm down Joe, there's
nothing sinister
67
00:03:58,051 --> 00:03:59,700
about Yasir's
construction company.
68
00:04:00,800 --> 00:04:03,300
Osama Bin Laden runned a
construction company too!
69
00:04:07,100 --> 00:04:10,600
I will not eat cucumber
sandwiches during Ramadan!
70
00:04:11,100 --> 00:04:13,400
And I will not fill
my stomach with lead
71
00:04:13,401 --> 00:04:15,800
after a really long
day of fasting.
72
00:04:15,801 --> 00:04:17,700
Goat is traditionnal.
73
00:04:17,701 --> 00:04:21,000
A goat is a bearded
garburator!
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00:04:21,600 --> 00:04:22,600
Just like your husband.
75
00:04:24,500 --> 00:04:26,500
You like my cucumber
sandwiches, don't you?
76
00:04:26,501 --> 00:04:28,600
I like all the food my
beautiful wife makes.
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00:04:28,950 --> 00:04:31,050
Yasir, would you please
explain to Fatima
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00:04:31,051 --> 00:04:33,400
that the stove here
is not big enough
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00:04:33,401 --> 00:04:35,050
to cook a whole goat in ...
80
00:04:35,051 --> 00:04:38,050
And would you tell your
wife I won't need a stove,
81
00:04:38,051 --> 00:04:40,500
I will roast it on
a spit outfront!
82
00:04:40,501 --> 00:04:42,200
Outfront, outfront, no no no !
83
00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:45,200
We do not break
the fast outfront!
84
00:04:46,400 --> 00:04:47,500
Why not?
85
00:04:49,150 --> 00:04:50,150
Too many people.
86
00:04:50,800 --> 00:04:52,000
We'll never get a permit.
87
00:04:52,400 --> 00:04:53,400
No goat!
88
00:04:53,301 --> 00:04:54,800
Yasir you love goat!
89
00:04:54,801 --> 00:04:57,400
Why don't we break the fast
in our basement as usual?
90
00:04:58,001 --> 00:04:59,800
Why having a new
mosque then?
91
00:04:59,801 --> 00:05:01,500
It's just Ramadan,
92
00:05:01,501 --> 00:05:03,300
why are we making a
big meal out of it?
93
00:05:03,301 --> 00:05:05,900
Yasir, what do you think?
It stands out yes?
94
00:05:05,901 --> 00:05:07,400
Why do we need a sign?
95
00:05:07,401 --> 00:05:09,750
Everybody already
knows it's a mosque!
96
00:05:10,900 --> 00:05:12,000
It's beautiful.
97
00:05:12,100 --> 00:05:13,100
Ok, we have to leave,
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00:05:13,101 --> 00:05:14,600
everyone please
I have a customer.
99
00:05:14,601 --> 00:05:15,601
Please!
100
00:05:18,400 --> 00:05:22,250
Hello, it's so nice of you to come
back, how can I help you?
101
00:05:22,800 --> 00:05:24,700
My shingles, my roof.
102
00:05:24,701 --> 00:05:25,900
Yes let's get
inside my office.
103
00:05:25,901 --> 00:05:29,250
So what was happening
in there earlier?
104
00:05:29,251 --> 00:05:31,950
That? Imprompt to worship.
105
00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:34,300
Praying, for business
to pick up.
106
00:05:34,701 --> 00:05:36,750
Yasir! I have
had a brainstorm,
107
00:05:36,751 --> 00:05:39,650
we can use a laundry room to
wash and shred the dead bodies.
108
00:05:49,650 --> 00:05:50,750
What's the charge?
109
00:05:51,250 --> 00:05:52,501
Flying while Muslim ?
110
00:05:54,800 --> 00:05:56,400
No, that's not the charge.
111
00:05:56,401 --> 00:05:57,850
I was joking.
112
00:05:58,700 --> 00:06:00,200
Muslims around the
world are known
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00:06:00,201 --> 00:06:01,500
for their sense of humour.
114
00:06:02,200 --> 00:06:03,500
I did not know that.
115
00:06:04,050 --> 00:06:05,050
That was another joke.
116
00:06:08,450 --> 00:06:10,600
What is that? Some
kind of signal?
117
00:06:11,050 --> 00:06:13,000
No, that's because
you didn't get the...
118
00:06:16,250 --> 00:06:20,000
You lived for over a
year in ... Afghanistan.
119
00:06:20,001 --> 00:06:22,801
I was volunteering with
a development agency.
120
00:06:23,200 --> 00:06:24,900
Why did you leave your
father's law firm?
121
00:06:26,400 --> 00:06:29,100
While I was in Egypt, doing
my Islamic studies,
122
00:06:29,101 --> 00:06:30,600
I found my true calling.
123
00:06:31,100 --> 00:06:32,300
Explosives?
124
00:06:32,301 --> 00:06:33,550
Yeah, explosives.
125
00:06:34,400 --> 00:06:37,000
Look, I am going to
the town of Mercy
126
00:06:37,001 --> 00:06:38,500
to work as an Imam.
127
00:06:39,200 --> 00:06:40,800
You know? Like a priest?
128
00:06:40,801 --> 00:06:42,000
Hold on, I can prove it.
129
00:06:44,700 --> 00:06:47,100
I have the ad, that I
answered for the job.
130
00:06:54,950 --> 00:06:56,700
You can call the
mosque if you like.
131
00:06:57,000 --> 00:07:00,001
If the story doesn't check out,
you can deport me to Syria.
132
00:07:00,200 --> 00:07:04,200
Hey, you do not get to chose
which country we deport you to.
133
00:07:07,450 --> 00:07:08,450
Could you just call?
134
00:07:09,900 --> 00:07:11,000
Allright Mr Rachid,
135
00:07:11,650 --> 00:07:14,100
I am going to give you the
benefit of the doubt.
136
00:07:14,500 --> 00:07:15,800
If this checks out,
137
00:07:16,350 --> 00:07:19,600
you are one tiny step closer
to getting out of here.
138
00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:27,500
Hello, you've reached Yasir's
construction contracting
139
00:07:27,501 --> 00:07:31,250
at our new location, we'll
blow away the competition.
140
00:07:34,100 --> 00:07:36,650
Let's get back to your
time in Afghanistan.
141
00:07:39,350 --> 00:07:43,000
This is Fred Topper and you're
listening to Wake up people !
142
00:07:43,950 --> 00:07:47,380
Joe, reverend Magee
claims that he rented
143
00:07:47,381 --> 00:07:49,800
the Church Hall to a
construction company.
144
00:07:50,200 --> 00:07:51,400
So he claims.
145
00:07:51,900 --> 00:07:53,800
But you know otherwise.
146
00:07:54,450 --> 00:07:56,900
I'm no expert Fred, but
when you walk into a room
147
00:07:56,901 --> 00:07:58,800
and see a mullah with a
beard talking about
148
00:07:58,801 --> 00:08:01,400
blowing up Canadian Idol, you've
got to figure he's not a roofer.
149
00:08:01,900 --> 00:08:03,500
I mean, what's wrong
with Canadian Idol ?
150
00:08:03,900 --> 00:08:07,900
Well it's not Canadian Idol
they hate Joe, no it's freedom !
151
00:08:10,101 --> 00:08:11,650
I just wanted to redo
my shingles like
152
00:08:11,651 --> 00:08:14,700
any average normal
hardworking Canadian.
153
00:08:15,050 --> 00:08:16,050
Yasir ...
154
00:08:16,400 --> 00:08:19,200
Don't construction
companies build things Joe ?
155
00:08:19,201 --> 00:08:21,050
I mean these
people, destroy.
156
00:08:23,200 --> 00:08:24,600
Man I heard some of
them were washing
157
00:08:24,601 --> 00:08:26,300
dead people in
their laundry room.
158
00:08:27,350 --> 00:08:28,400
But it gets even worse,
159
00:08:28,900 --> 00:08:32,600
apparently Muslim kingpin Yasir
Hamudi and his wife Sarah
160
00:08:32,601 --> 00:08:34,200
just work for the mayor,
161
00:08:34,201 --> 00:08:37,500
I mean the scepticals are
everywhere, wake up people !
162
00:08:38,250 --> 00:08:41,250
Sarah, you're supposed to spin
the news, not be the news !
163
00:08:41,251 --> 00:08:43,300
This has got Yasir
written all over it,
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00:08:43,301 --> 00:08:44,301
he's up to something.
165
00:08:44,302 --> 00:08:46,900
Call the police, they'll put
you on whitness protection.
166
00:08:47,700 --> 00:08:50,850
Anne, Yasir is
not a terrorist.
167
00:08:51,450 --> 00:08:53,400
Oh I cant ... of
course not !
168
00:08:53,850 --> 00:08:55,300
I can't believe
you think that,
169
00:08:55,301 --> 00:08:58,200
I mean Yasir's even a card
carrying conservative.
170
00:08:58,201 --> 00:08:59,900
You're right it's ridiculous.
171
00:09:00,500 --> 00:09:01,500
Thank you.
172
00:09:02,150 --> 00:09:03,900
Or really elaborate cover.
173
00:09:05,750 --> 00:09:07,700
I'm joking.
174
00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:10,800
Nevertheless, you
better find out
175
00:09:10,801 --> 00:09:12,150
what the hell is going on.
176
00:09:12,350 --> 00:09:14,200
I will get the truth
out of him.
177
00:09:14,600 --> 00:09:15,750
I can work with the truth ...
178
00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:19,200
but only as our last resort.
179
00:09:21,800 --> 00:09:24,600
I can't believe you lied to
reverend Magee and ... to me.
180
00:09:25,650 --> 00:09:27,000
- Darling ...
- Hi sweetie.
181
00:09:27,001 --> 00:09:28,001
Hello beautiful.
182
00:09:28,002 --> 00:09:31,150
Honey, I'm a contractor,
contractors don't lie.
183
00:09:31,250 --> 00:09:34,000
I don't understand why you didn't
just tell them about the mosque.
184
00:09:34,270 --> 00:09:35,500
Yes, this is a good one.
185
00:09:35,501 --> 00:09:38,180
Reverend, I would like
to run a mosque
186
00:09:38,181 --> 00:09:39,181
out of your Parish Hall,
187
00:09:39,182 --> 00:09:40,700
would you like to
tell Jesus or shall I?
188
00:09:40,701 --> 00:09:42,900
So you said nothing,
that's just great!
189
00:09:42,901 --> 00:09:44,901
Because I thought
you'd be angry.
190
00:09:45,300 --> 00:09:47,800
Look, ladies, beautiful women,
191
00:09:47,801 --> 00:09:50,500
I called a hundred places,
192
00:09:50,501 --> 00:09:53,100
no one would
rent to a mosque.
193
00:09:53,101 --> 00:09:54,850
They aren't one hundred
places in Mercy.
194
00:09:54,851 --> 00:09:55,851
How many times
do I have to tell you
195
00:09:55,852 --> 00:09:57,800
that lies only work when
they are half true?
196
00:09:58,100 --> 00:10:00,200
What would work
for you darling, fifty?
197
00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:02,500
- No
- Thirty?
198
00:10:02,501 --> 00:10:04,500
- No
- Twenty two!
199
00:10:05,700 --> 00:10:06,700
Yes twenty two is great.
200
00:10:06,701 --> 00:10:08,550
Am I adopted? Please
tell me I'm adopted.
201
00:10:08,700 --> 00:10:10,500
I can't believe you drive
the whole town to this,
202
00:10:10,501 --> 00:10:11,800
including the mayor.
203
00:10:11,801 --> 00:10:13,900
What's the new imam
going to think of all this?
204
00:10:14,300 --> 00:10:16,200
The new imam ! I was supposed
to pick him up at the mosque.
205
00:10:16,500 --> 00:10:18,800
Oh hey dad, did you called
a hundred imams
206
00:10:18,801 --> 00:10:20,250
before you found this guy?
207
00:10:20,500 --> 00:10:22,000
You're both going to love him:
208
00:10:22,001 --> 00:10:25,050
honest, upright ... ex-lawyer.
209
00:10:30,800 --> 00:10:32,750
What is your relationship
with this mosque?
210
00:10:32,751 --> 00:10:34,100
Hang on, let me pay ...
211
00:10:34,101 --> 00:10:35,500
I just need to ask you
a couple of questions.
212
00:10:36,400 --> 00:10:38,100
What is your comment
on the scandal?
213
00:10:38,600 --> 00:10:39,750
What scandal?
214
00:10:39,700 --> 00:10:41,400
What do you have to say about
the terrorists allegations?
215
00:10:41,401 --> 00:10:43,650
Look, the cops had no
evidence against me.
216
00:10:43,850 --> 00:10:45,650
The cops? Who are you?
217
00:10:46,100 --> 00:10:48,200
I'm Amaar Rachid,
I'm the new imam
218
00:10:48,800 --> 00:10:51,000
It's like a priest or
a rabbi, only browner.
219
00:10:52,050 --> 00:10:53,800
So are you denying that
you're a terrorist?
220
00:10:55,250 --> 00:10:58,100
- You hired a terrorist?
- I did not hire a terrorist.
221
00:10:58,101 --> 00:10:59,101
A very good looking one.
222
00:10:59,102 --> 00:11:01,150
Good looking terrorist,
isn't that an oxymoron?
223
00:11:01,350 --> 00:11:02,950
Who are you people?
Where is Yasir?
224
00:11:02,951 --> 00:11:05,251
Salam Aleikum, I am
Yasir Hamudi.
225
00:11:05,350 --> 00:11:06,900
And this is my wife Sarah
226
00:11:06,901 --> 00:11:08,200
and my beautiful
daughter Rayyan.
227
00:11:08,950 --> 00:11:11,700
Welcome to our little
mosque on the prairie.
228
00:11:12,100 --> 00:11:13,650
Yasir we need to
talk that message
229
00:11:13,651 --> 00:11:16,000
on your machine about
blowing people away.
230
00:11:16,400 --> 00:11:19,200
Oh I know I told him to,
you've gotta change that!
231
00:11:19,201 --> 00:11:20,500
People love the message.
232
00:11:20,501 --> 00:11:23,500
Blowing people away? Are
you part of a sleeper cell?
233
00:11:23,950 --> 00:11:25,000
Don't answer that!
234
00:11:25,001 --> 00:11:26,250
What is your connection
to Al Quaeda?
235
00:11:26,500 --> 00:11:28,150
What is your connection
to journalism?
236
00:11:28,151 --> 00:11:30,000
All right, you know what?
Show's over, let's go?
237
00:11:30,001 --> 00:11:31,050
Are you from Saudi Arabia?
238
00:11:31,051 --> 00:11:32,650
No, I'm from Toronto!
239
00:11:33,200 --> 00:11:35,550
Toronto? Even better!
240
00:11:36,400 --> 00:11:37,600
This story is huge.
241
00:11:37,601 --> 00:11:40,500
Ok let's go, everyone in
the car, please common'.
242
00:11:42,500 --> 00:11:43,700
Oh you know what ?
My eyes were shut.
243
00:11:44,350 --> 00:11:45,650
Ok that's right.
244
00:11:45,651 --> 00:11:46,651
Throw the bags
in the back.
245
00:11:48,650 --> 00:11:50,850
Sarah please, in the
car, get in the back.
246
00:11:54,650 --> 00:11:55,650
Holy Terror
247
00:11:56,400 --> 00:11:57,500
This is awful.
248
00:11:57,800 --> 00:11:59,300
You haven't
even tasted it.
249
00:11:59,600 --> 00:12:01,550
No, not your food, this!
250
00:12:01,551 --> 00:12:02,700
How do I prepare
for ramadan
251
00:12:02,701 --> 00:12:04,200
when the whole town
is in an uproar?
252
00:12:04,201 --> 00:12:05,401
What were you
people thinking?
253
00:12:05,402 --> 00:12:08,050
This is that converted
Sarah's fault.
254
00:12:08,700 --> 00:12:13,400
Tell me, aren't goats more
traditionnal than cucumbers?
255
00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:16,400
You've lost me.
256
00:12:16,401 --> 00:12:18,900
I thought you were supposed
to be the big shot imam!
257
00:12:19,900 --> 00:12:21,500
You don't even
look like an imam.
258
00:12:21,800 --> 00:12:23,000
You look like a kid.
259
00:12:23,001 --> 00:12:24,700
Can I get a low-fat cappucino?
260
00:12:24,701 --> 00:12:26,900
We don't make
low-fat cappucino.
261
00:12:26,901 --> 00:12:28,450
Ok I'll take a
regular one.
262
00:12:28,700 --> 00:12:29,900
We don't make regular.
263
00:12:30,200 --> 00:12:31,750
You don't make capuccino?
264
00:12:36,250 --> 00:12:38,200
There is your cappucino.
265
00:12:39,600 --> 00:12:41,130
What am I doing here?
266
00:12:41,131 --> 00:12:43,600
Who is this Amaar Rachid?
267
00:12:43,601 --> 00:12:46,500
What is he really doing here?
This is Fred...
268
00:12:46,501 --> 00:12:48,250
Well maybe he has
your answer...
269
00:12:48,251 --> 00:12:49,600
...to Wake up, People!
270
00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:52,200
It will all blow over,
I promise.
271
00:12:52,201 --> 00:12:54,350
You only want to fit
in with one culture,
272
00:12:54,351 --> 00:12:56,350
that's why you rented
a church isn't it?
273
00:12:56,351 --> 00:12:58,200
So you can turn us
all into christians.
274
00:12:58,600 --> 00:12:59,610
You're just upset
275
00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:02,350
because you don't get
to play imam anymore.
276
00:13:03,050 --> 00:13:06,200
You think I'm too orthodox? That
I scare the right folks?
277
00:13:06,800 --> 00:13:08,850
Who got us on the frontpage
of the newspaper?
278
00:13:09,700 --> 00:13:11,500
Non other than
Mr secular Yasir,
279
00:13:11,780 --> 00:13:13,500
and his hot shot
Toronto imam.
280
00:13:13,800 --> 00:13:16,100
If he had the guts
to show his face I...
281
00:13:17,350 --> 00:13:19,900
- Salam aleikum
- Aleikum salam
282
00:13:20,901 --> 00:13:21,901
You were saying...
283
00:13:22,500 --> 00:13:24,400
I was saying that
this is a mess!
284
00:13:25,200 --> 00:13:26,800
The church is going
to evict us any day.
285
00:13:27,500 --> 00:13:28,700
Let me take a look
at the lease,
286
00:13:28,701 --> 00:13:30,100
I used to practice
law you know,
287
00:13:30,101 --> 00:13:31,800
maybe I can find a loophole,
288
00:13:31,801 --> 00:13:34,000
in the meantime our real
problem here is optics.
289
00:13:34,400 --> 00:13:36,700
Oh a lawyer and an eye
doctor, very good.
290
00:13:37,100 --> 00:13:39,550
Trust me, I can handle this.
291
00:13:40,900 --> 00:13:42,000
Are you a terrorist?
292
00:13:42,800 --> 00:13:44,700
- No I...
- You object to the term?
293
00:13:44,701 --> 00:13:46,000
Of course I do!
294
00:13:46,001 --> 00:13:48,050
Oh you prefer Moudjahiddin?
295
00:13:48,051 --> 00:13:50,051
Yes...No! I mean look Fred,
296
00:13:50,600 --> 00:13:53,200
I came here to clear the air,
you know, to get a word in.
297
00:13:53,400 --> 00:13:55,650
Oh please, feel free to
give as good as you get,
298
00:13:55,651 --> 00:13:58,500
that's the privilege of living in
a country with freedom.
299
00:13:58,700 --> 00:14:02,050
Freedom? To do what? Fan
the flames of hatred?
300
00:14:02,500 --> 00:14:05,100
Isn't that muslim preachers like
yourself that would do that?
301
00:14:05,600 --> 00:14:07,400
I got news for you,
Johnny Jihad,
302
00:14:08,050 --> 00:14:10,500
folks around here will not sit
back and let that happen.
303
00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:12,030
You can bet your
falafel on that.
304
00:14:12,900 --> 00:14:16,850
I call on reverend Magee
to turn you and your gang
305
00:14:16,851 --> 00:14:19,250
out of the church
hall by sundown.
306
00:14:19,251 --> 00:14:22,250
Yasir, this is reverend
Magee again,
307
00:14:23,200 --> 00:14:24,900
we need to talk
about this lease.
308
00:14:25,400 --> 00:14:28,200
Sundown? What is this?
The Wild West?
309
00:14:28,201 --> 00:14:30,750
You count that well my
little bedouin buckaroo,
310
00:14:31,600 --> 00:14:33,200
you're not in the
big city anymore.
311
00:14:33,700 --> 00:14:35,400
Oh I've noticed, does
anyone in this town
312
00:14:35,401 --> 00:14:36,700
knows how to make
a cappucino?
313
00:14:36,701 --> 00:14:38,240
Oh you're saying
we're ignorants?
314
00:14:38,241 --> 00:14:40,000
Some of you yes, in fact,
315
00:14:40,001 --> 00:14:42,250
I've never seen so much small
town ignorants in my life.
316
00:14:42,550 --> 00:14:43,650
Oh if he hates it here so much,
317
00:14:43,651 --> 00:14:45,420
why doesn't he go
back to Toronto?
318
00:14:46,100 --> 00:14:47,900
Yes a one-way
ticket to Toronto?
319
00:14:48,800 --> 00:14:50,700
Amaar Rachid.
320
00:14:50,850 --> 00:14:52,500
Yes, I'll hold.
321
00:14:53,500 --> 00:14:55,100
Can a muslim book a one
way flight these days
322
00:14:55,101 --> 00:14:57,250
without someone has
to call his supervisor?
323
00:14:57,700 --> 00:15:01,000
Oh you poor thing,
racial profiling,
324
00:15:01,500 --> 00:15:05,000
making it very difficult
for you to run away.
325
00:15:05,650 --> 00:15:06,730
What am I supposed to do?
326
00:15:06,731 --> 00:15:09,000
I don't know, wait let
me ask the imam...
327
00:15:09,001 --> 00:15:11,750
oh wait, he's running away!
328
00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:13,700
Look, I screwed up, ok?
329
00:15:14,200 --> 00:15:18,400
No, it is not ok, you
were supposed to...
330
00:15:19,200 --> 00:15:21,200
well, you were the guy
I dreamed about
331
00:15:23,050 --> 00:15:25,900
Ryyan, it's not really
appropriate for me.
332
00:15:25,901 --> 00:15:27,200
Get over yourself,
333
00:15:27,201 --> 00:15:29,400
I dreamed about
you for a mosque,
334
00:15:29,800 --> 00:15:32,800
you know, a progressive imam,
born here in Canada.
335
00:15:33,150 --> 00:15:35,150
I thought you'd dragged us
into the modern world,
336
00:15:35,151 --> 00:15:36,900
or at least the
eleventh century.
337
00:15:36,901 --> 00:15:39,300
Yes, so did I, that's why
I gave up being a lawyer.
338
00:15:39,301 --> 00:15:41,900
Oh, I figured you just
sucked at that too.
339
00:15:43,700 --> 00:15:45,100
You can't leave Amaar,
340
00:15:45,600 --> 00:15:48,001
not when your congregation
is in there right now,
341
00:15:48,002 --> 00:15:49,850
having it's annual
cage match
342
00:15:49,851 --> 00:15:51,400
to figure out when
to start ramadan.
343
00:15:52,700 --> 00:15:54,900
I'm sorry, I'll miss that, you
know when I was a kid,
344
00:15:54,901 --> 00:15:57,800
my parents never
fasted, they're huge.
345
00:15:59,850 --> 00:16:01,000
They hung up on me!
346
00:16:01,001 --> 00:16:04,000
See? that's a sign!
347
00:16:04,001 --> 00:16:06,400
You get in there
an be the imam.
348
00:16:08,500 --> 00:16:09,507
Ok.
349
00:16:12,500 --> 00:16:16,000
The crescent of the new moon
must be observed with the eye,
350
00:16:16,001 --> 00:16:17,500
just as the prophet did.
351
00:16:17,501 --> 00:16:20,500
I don't think the prophet
had a telescope from Costco.
352
00:16:20,850 --> 00:16:26,200
Look, we do this every year.
Now I'm no expert...
353
00:16:26,201 --> 00:16:27,600
Which is clear to
us every year.
354
00:16:28,400 --> 00:16:31,500
...but why don't we just
log to mooncycle.com
355
00:16:31,501 --> 00:16:33,200
and let the starvation begin.
356
00:16:33,201 --> 00:16:34,780
Why don't we do what
the christians do,
357
00:16:34,781 --> 00:16:36,300
pick up a month and stick to it,
358
00:16:36,301 --> 00:16:37,700
I mean what's wrong
with December,
359
00:16:37,701 --> 00:16:41,050
shorter days for fasting and
way way better shopping.
360
00:16:41,300 --> 00:16:42,700
Unfortunately for you mom,
361
00:16:42,701 --> 00:16:45,150
Islam is not based on
the shopping cycle.
362
00:16:45,650 --> 00:16:47,800
Traditionnally,
ramadan begins
363
00:16:47,801 --> 00:16:50,215
when the new moon is
seen in Saudi Arabia.
364
00:16:50,216 --> 00:16:51,850
The Saudis couldn't
find the moon unless
365
00:16:51,851 --> 00:16:53,131
there was oil sparkling
out of it.
366
00:16:53,800 --> 00:16:55,200
We must call Saudi Arabia!
367
00:16:55,201 --> 00:16:57,150
No no no no one's calling
Saudi Arabia on my phone!
368
00:16:59,600 --> 00:17:01,900
Can I jump in here please?
369
00:17:03,400 --> 00:17:05,050
After all, I am the imam, right?
370
00:17:06,200 --> 00:17:07,900
Ok, brother Amaar,
so what do we do?
371
00:17:08,100 --> 00:17:12,500
Well, in Toronto ... forget.
372
00:17:12,601 --> 00:17:16,500
No no no, tell us how
they do it, in Toronto.
373
00:17:16,501 --> 00:17:20,200
Does ramadan begins when the
bell rings at the stock exchange?
374
00:17:20,600 --> 00:17:22,800
You know what, forget
Toronto, this is Mercy,
375
00:17:22,801 --> 00:17:25,100
and in this mosque, I decide
how ramadan begins.
376
00:17:25,101 --> 00:17:26,900
Baber, it's time to give
up this telescope.
377
00:17:26,901 --> 00:17:28,800
- I am going to give you a hand.
- Good.
378
00:17:29,500 --> 00:17:31,900
So we're going with the
telescope, I win.
379
00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:34,400
Oh you're so lame.
380
00:17:39,601 --> 00:17:41,500
For the love of god, is the
sun ever going to set,
381
00:17:41,501 --> 00:17:42,901
we've been waiting
here since eight thirty
382
00:17:42,902 --> 00:17:44,750
You're in the middle
of the prairies,
383
00:17:44,751 --> 00:17:46,000
it's going to
take a while.
384
00:17:47,250 --> 00:17:49,000
This could have been
such a nice mosque.
385
00:17:49,900 --> 00:17:52,150
We fought too hard,
we can't turn back,
386
00:17:52,151 --> 00:17:53,500
you have to find a loophole.
387
00:17:55,900 --> 00:17:58,400
Oh, reverend Magee is coming,
you have to do something.
388
00:17:59,300 --> 00:18:01,450
- What?
- Sue him!
389
00:18:01,800 --> 00:18:03,980
You can't just sue
people for no reason.
390
00:18:04,750 --> 00:18:06,900
Well, allright, you can, but
I'm not doing that anymore.
391
00:18:07,500 --> 00:18:09,800
I can't loose my office ...
392
00:18:11,800 --> 00:18:13,050
... or the mosque.
393
00:18:19,500 --> 00:18:20,500
Reverend Magee...
394
00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:23,100
I heard you on the
radio the other day,
395
00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:25,950
you sure sounded
like a horse's ass.
396
00:18:26,900 --> 00:18:27,900
Thank you.
397
00:18:27,901 --> 00:18:29,850
Oh, I've been trying
to give this to Yasir.
398
00:18:32,300 --> 00:18:36,100
I know Yasir misrepresented
the community,
399
00:18:36,101 --> 00:18:38,150
but no, please,
wait, let me finish...
400
00:18:38,900 --> 00:18:40,200
I was hoping you
let us stay,
401
00:18:40,750 --> 00:18:43,700
cuz religious and racial hatred
will destroy the world
402
00:18:43,701 --> 00:18:46,200
if men of spirituality,
men like ourselves...
403
00:18:46,201 --> 00:18:48,750
Amaar, will all do respect ...
404
00:18:49,300 --> 00:18:50,300
shut up!
405
00:18:51,850 --> 00:18:54,400
I'm not evicting you,
this is a new lease
406
00:18:54,401 --> 00:18:59,050
that reflects the true nature of
your multi-purpose activities.
407
00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:01,750
But if you're planning to
open a bowling alley,
408
00:19:01,751 --> 00:19:03,100
give me a heads up.
409
00:19:05,600 --> 00:19:07,100
Thanks ... but why?
410
00:19:07,950 --> 00:19:09,650
When the Fred Topper Show
tells me to do something,
411
00:19:09,651 --> 00:19:10,900
I tend to do the opposite.
412
00:19:11,200 --> 00:19:13,580
There was never an issue
with your congregation?
413
00:19:14,600 --> 00:19:16,500
Come to my Sunday
sermon this week,
414
00:19:16,900 --> 00:19:18,900
I'm lucky if I can fill
the first two rows.
415
00:19:19,600 --> 00:19:22,300
May have been god who said :
let there be light.
416
00:19:23,200 --> 00:19:24,700
But it's me who pays
the electric bills.
417
00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:28,400
Thanks
418
00:19:30,850 --> 00:19:33,300
In this 9th month of
the muslim calendar,
419
00:19:33,800 --> 00:19:36,480
we are asked to examine ourselves
with a critical eye,
420
00:19:37,550 --> 00:19:40,500
and if we can't, there are lots
of people around to do it for us,
421
00:19:42,550 --> 00:19:44,500
I may not be the best
imam in the world,
422
00:19:45,450 --> 00:19:47,600
but I've learnt a lot about
humility this week.
423
00:19:48,850 --> 00:19:51,900
And I've done a pretty excellent
job of it if I do say so myself.
424
00:19:56,700 --> 00:19:59,800
I was a game waker at
ramadan, I'm starving.
425
00:19:59,801 --> 00:20:01,650
Cucumber sandwiches
coming through...
426
00:20:04,300 --> 00:20:06,000
- Hi Sarah.
- Hi Anna,
427
00:20:06,001 --> 00:20:07,450
do you want a cucumber
sandwich?
428
00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:10,180
Hell, I thought, you know,
429
00:20:10,181 --> 00:20:13,050
ramadan meal would be
a little more ... exotic.
430
00:20:13,051 --> 00:20:16,850
Goat curry is ready,
excuse me.
431
00:20:17,400 --> 00:20:19,700
What is that
wonderful smell?
432
00:20:21,550 --> 00:20:25,850
It's tradition, and tradition
always smells better.
433
00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:31,650
Mayor Popowitz, I'd like to
introduce our new imam, Amaar.
434
00:20:32,050 --> 00:20:33,050
Pleased to meet you.
435
00:20:33,200 --> 00:20:36,650
Hi, my first few days in office
were no picnic either.
436
00:20:37,450 --> 00:20:39,850
Fred Topper kept referring
to me as the "she-mayor".
437
00:20:44,500 --> 00:20:45,930
Sorry ... goat?
438
00:20:46,650 --> 00:20:47,650
Thank you.
439
00:20:49,150 --> 00:20:50,150
Hi.
440
00:20:51,500 --> 00:20:54,750
You know when I pictured you
coming back to the church,
441
00:20:55,400 --> 00:20:57,400
this isn't exactly what
I had in mind.
442
00:20:57,401 --> 00:20:59,300
Well reverend, you
can't win 'em all.
443
00:20:59,900 --> 00:21:01,200
Well if you ever
change your mind,
444
00:21:01,201 --> 00:21:02,201
please let me know,
445
00:21:02,850 --> 00:21:05,000
cuz I really miss these
little sandwiches.
446
00:21:06,600 --> 00:21:09,000
I'm so glad, I
have hundreds.
447
00:21:09,001 --> 00:21:13,100
Well Yasir, I hope you've learnt
that honesty is the best policy
448
00:21:13,101 --> 00:21:16,000
Hush, hush, that brings
me to your salary.
449
00:21:16,750 --> 00:21:17,850
I'm going to be flexible.
450
00:21:17,851 --> 00:21:19,100
Good cuz we don't
have much money.
451
00:21:19,101 --> 00:21:20,500
- How much money?
- We're broke.
452
00:21:20,501 --> 00:21:21,501
I'm not that flexible.
453
00:21:22,056 --> 00:21:25,930
Well if you must leave, I'm
sure they will understand.
454
00:21:25,931 --> 00:21:28,600
But it seems to me you've become
attached to our little community.
455
00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:31,750
Why don't you tell me
before I left Toronto
456
00:21:31,751 --> 00:21:32,751
that you hadn't
any money?
457
00:21:32,752 --> 00:21:34,600
I'm being honest now.
458
00:21:35,450 --> 00:21:37,250
Yasir, you have to
learn the difference
459
00:21:37,251 --> 00:21:39,550
between honesty and
emotional blackmail.
460
00:21:40,150 --> 00:21:43,000
And who better to teach me
than you brother Amaar?
461
00:21:43,001 --> 00:21:44,400
Who better?
462
00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:48,500
Transcript and Synchro :
[dx]
463
00:21:48,501 --> 00:21:51,350
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