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1
00:00:02,544 --> 00:00:06,174
No. Coordinate with Rome,
then get me the latest intel...
2
00:00:06,340 --> 00:00:09,344
...then tell Rodney they need
travel documents an hour ago.
3
00:00:09,843 --> 00:00:12,266
Then bring me the file I asked for.
4
00:00:12,429 --> 00:00:15,182
Why don't I shove a broom up my ass
and sweep the floor?
5
00:00:15,349 --> 00:00:16,692
What was that'?
Nothing.
6
00:00:16,850 --> 00:00:20,024
Good. Saves you the embarrassment
of an incredibly homophobic remark.
7
00:00:20,187 --> 00:00:21,439
Aww!
8
00:00:21,605 --> 00:00:23,107
Ew! Ow!
Go.
9
00:00:23,273 --> 00:00:24,365
Ow!
10
00:00:24,525 --> 00:00:25,947
Sorry.
What's going on?
11
00:00:26,109 --> 00:00:29,283
Where?
Uh, this new place called here?
12
00:00:29,446 --> 00:00:30,914
Nothing.
13
00:00:31,281 --> 00:00:32,783
What--? Malory.
14
00:00:34,117 --> 00:00:35,710
Good luck.
She just had an electro--
15
00:00:38,372 --> 00:00:43,970
Electromagnetic lock installed.
Are you serious?
16
00:00:44,127 --> 00:00:46,175
Malory?
Because I'm seriously asking.
17
00:00:46,338 --> 00:00:48,466
Did Krieger give you robot hands?
18
00:00:48,632 --> 00:00:51,431
Not yet, but you just say the word.
The--
19
00:00:53,804 --> 00:00:55,397
Out.
20
00:00:56,098 --> 00:00:57,941
Can't have anything nice.
21
00:00:58,559 --> 00:01:01,813
Krieger!
Jazz hands.
22
00:01:01,979 --> 00:01:04,152
Should have never taken him
to see The Wiz.
23
00:01:04,314 --> 00:01:06,066
The Broadway show
or the movie?
24
00:01:07,693 --> 00:01:09,946
Jazz hands.
25
00:01:10,112 --> 00:01:11,364
Both.
26
00:01:11,530 --> 00:01:13,624
Jazz hands.
27
00:01:13,782 --> 00:01:15,955
I-- Whatever.
Look, obviously there's--
28
00:01:16,118 --> 00:01:17,961
Nothing is going on, Lana.
29
00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:19,997
If there were, I would tell you, but--
30
00:01:20,163 --> 00:01:22,837
There's a
Cardinal Core/Ii on Line 1 for you.
31
00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:25,491
Something about a faction
of the Swiss Guard
32
00:01:25,504 --> 00:01:28,006
assassinating the
pope tomorrow night?
33
00:01:29,464 --> 00:01:31,512
You need to get that?
34
00:02:08,503 --> 00:02:11,006
Do you need to get that?
35
00:02:11,173 --> 00:02:12,720
No. I'm sure whoever it is--
36
00:02:12,883 --> 00:02:16,729
it's the Vatican, Line 1. Jesus!
37
00:02:16,887 --> 00:02:18,560
Ah! Shit, I hope he didn't hear that.
38
00:02:18,722 --> 00:02:20,395
Ah! Or that. Shit.
39
00:02:20,557 --> 00:02:23,310
Just put him through, you idiot.
Okay. Jesus.
40
00:02:23,477 --> 00:02:25,730
Ah! Shit.
Uhh.
41
00:02:25,896 --> 00:02:27,614
Ha, ha. Giancarlo.
42
00:02:31,234 --> 00:02:33,032
Now that I see your eyes...
43
00:02:33,195 --> 00:02:35,573
...your lips, your...
Ha, ha. Giancarlo.
44
00:02:37,491 --> 00:02:39,118
And you are the only woman...
45
00:02:39,284 --> 00:02:42,379
...who ever made me regret
taking the holy orders.
46
00:02:42,537 --> 00:02:44,960
And you are the only man
who ever made me--
47
00:02:45,123 --> 00:02:46,716
Come on!
48
00:02:46,875 --> 00:02:48,843
- I'm right here, you know?
- Why?
49
00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:50,720
Getting new carpet in my office.
50
00:02:50,879 --> 00:02:52,756
Which, speaking of, uh--
Ron.
51
00:02:52,923 --> 00:02:55,676
Malory, you have married?
Uh...
52
00:02:55,842 --> 00:02:58,436
You are a fortunate man, signore.
53
00:02:58,595 --> 00:03:01,018
- Oh, blow it out your cassock.
- Ron!
54
00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:05,186
Malory, we don't have much time.
Your agents of ISIS, they are ready, no?
55
00:03:05,352 --> 00:03:07,855
Or they are confused, verging on angry.
56
00:03:08,021 --> 00:03:11,946
Lana, it's an undercover mission.
At the Vatican?
57
00:03:12,109 --> 00:03:15,363
Heh. What,
they don't have black nuns?
58
00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:20,285
Although, granted, I've never seen one.
But that's not, like, a rule. Is it?
59
00:03:20,450 --> 00:03:22,748
Ehh...
Well, since you're not sending me...
60
00:03:22,911 --> 00:03:25,289
...and I assume
you're not sending Ray--
61
00:03:25,455 --> 00:03:29,301
To the Vatican? You think all those
Catholic priests wouldn't peg him...
62
00:03:31,044 --> 00:03:33,593
...as American
with that hillbilly accent?
63
00:03:33,755 --> 00:03:36,304
Malory, I must go now.
Please, hurry.
64
00:03:36,466 --> 00:03:39,595
So not Ray and not me, which leaves...
65
00:03:46,518 --> 00:03:49,488
Et cetera, et cetera.
66
00:03:49,646 --> 00:03:52,741
You can't. No one is gonna
believe Archer is a priest.
67
00:03:52,899 --> 00:03:55,402
For your infor-- I'm in.
Turn it off.
68
00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:56,695
Okay, Jesus. Oh! Shit.
69
00:03:58,071 --> 00:04:00,790
For your information, Lana,
I have prepared for this mission.
70
00:04:00,949 --> 00:04:01,996
Well, there's a--
71
00:04:02,159 --> 00:04:05,663
First thing I did was watch every episode
Daughter of the Devil...
72
00:04:05,829 --> 00:04:08,833
...which, by the way, was grossly--
Inadequate preparation...
73
00:04:08,999 --> 00:04:12,253
...for an undercover mission
protecting the pope from assassination.
74
00:04:12,419 --> 00:04:14,217
I was gonna say "underrated" but--
75
00:04:14,379 --> 00:04:17,508
But even if you were prepared--
Which I truly feel that I am.
76
00:04:17,674 --> 00:04:21,099
But which you're not. Who's your
backup if Ray's not going? Cyril?
77
00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:23,810
Ha, ha. No.
No, it turns out Cyril--
78
00:04:23,972 --> 00:04:26,191
Aah! How about
a little warning?
79
00:04:26,349 --> 00:04:28,693
--Has a thing
about church stuff.
80
00:04:28,852 --> 00:04:31,822
Since when?
Since-- None of your beeswax and--
81
00:04:31,980 --> 00:04:33,823
Aah!
Ooh!
82
00:04:33,982 --> 00:04:35,029
Well...
83
00:04:35,192 --> 00:04:40,540
And I think I need a spanking
because I have been a very naughty--
84
00:04:45,827 --> 00:04:47,374
I guess that explains that.
85
00:04:47,537 --> 00:04:50,461
It doesn't explain how Archer is
gonna run this mission himself.
86
00:04:50,624 --> 00:04:54,379
Well, if you were confused,
verging on angry, before--
87
00:04:54,544 --> 00:04:57,172
Aah!
What? Jesus Christ.
88
00:04:57,339 --> 00:04:59,888
Ah! Shit. Ah! Goddamn it. Ah!
89
00:05:00,050 --> 00:05:01,176
Pam.
What?
90
00:05:01,343 --> 00:05:02,515
What? Pam'?
91
00:05:02,677 --> 00:05:06,056
What?!
Pam!
92
00:05:06,223 --> 00:05:08,521
Heh. I don't know.
What are we doing?
93
00:05:11,061 --> 00:05:12,904
Aw, man,
we have to learn Latin?
94
00:05:13,063 --> 00:05:14,906
Ew. Yeah. That's a deal breaker.
95
00:05:15,065 --> 00:05:17,067
You were speaking Latin
when you walked in here.
96
00:05:17,234 --> 00:05:20,363
Mm, no.
Whereas I was just speaking Italian...
97
00:05:20,529 --> 00:05:24,159
...which neither of you speak
nor even understand, obviously, so--
98
00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:28,329
So? Lana, the assassination plot
is being hatched by the Swiss Guard.
99
00:05:28,495 --> 00:05:30,748
So...
So it's an eight-hour flight...
100
00:05:30,914 --> 00:05:33,884
...so we get some tapes and
brush up on our-- Swiss?
101
00:05:34,042 --> 00:05:36,670
Duh.
Well, since Swiss isn't a language...
102
00:05:36,837 --> 00:05:40,683
...maybe you should get some tapes
on German, French, Italian and Romansh.
103
00:05:40,841 --> 00:05:43,640
Maybe I will.
All right. Lana, pack a bag, you're--
104
00:05:43,802 --> 00:05:45,600
No. Mother, come on,
we don't need to--
105
00:05:45,762 --> 00:05:48,515
Lana is going.
Ha!
106
00:05:48,682 --> 00:05:51,561
And, Pam, if you keep your eyes open
and your big mouth shut...
107
00:05:51,726 --> 00:05:54,354
...you just might learn something from her.
Ha!
108
00:05:54,521 --> 00:05:57,274
Why are you going "ha"?
I don't know. What are we doing?
109
00:05:57,440 --> 00:06:01,991
I'll tell you what we should be doing.
So who does the pope remind you of?
110
00:06:02,153 --> 00:06:04,121
- Ha!
- What?
111
00:06:04,281 --> 00:06:06,409
- Ha!
- Shut up.
112
00:06:06,575 --> 00:06:09,044
And you, also shut up.
Yes, sir.
113
00:06:09,202 --> 00:06:11,955
Ha!
Why are you still going "ha"?
114
00:06:12,122 --> 00:06:14,216
Pink Panther is on.
115
00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:17,378
Father Guido Sardouchebag.
116
00:06:22,424 --> 00:06:24,051
Oh, really?
117
00:06:24,217 --> 00:06:26,720
Because she didn't specify
an agent in command, Lana.
118
00:06:26,887 --> 00:06:28,639
So I would argue--
With a fence post?
119
00:06:28,805 --> 00:06:30,648
I wouldn't argue with a-- Oof!
120
00:06:30,807 --> 00:06:33,401
Move, idiot.
I'm going as fast as I can.
121
00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:35,278
Not you, the--
The fence post?
122
00:06:35,437 --> 00:06:37,064
Ha!
It was a bollard.
123
00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:39,198
And my point was--
Fine.
124
00:06:39,357 --> 00:06:41,655
You're agent in command.
Shut up, brief Corelli...
125
00:06:41,818 --> 00:06:44,162
...and get the access code
to the pope's apartment.
126
00:06:44,321 --> 00:06:47,825
I will because I command me to.
127
00:06:47,991 --> 00:06:51,837
And you should eat. This could be
a long night and you're so teeny.
128
00:06:51,995 --> 00:06:54,839
Hmm?
Seriously, eat. You're like a slow loris.
129
00:06:54,998 --> 00:06:58,468
Ugh. No.
Uh, bit off my feed, I'm afraid.
130
00:06:58,627 --> 00:06:59,924
Woodhouse, you need to--
131
00:07:00,086 --> 00:07:02,384
Oh, come on, you need to fix?
Mm.
132
00:07:02,547 --> 00:07:05,767
Is there some amount you can shoot up
to get right for the mission...
133
00:07:05,926 --> 00:07:08,554
...without getting all trainspotty?
134
00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:10,347
Back in a tick.
135
00:07:10,513 --> 00:07:13,858
Oh, for the-- And thanks for making me
carry your bag through customs.
136
00:07:14,017 --> 00:07:15,735
No. Thank you.
137
00:07:20,315 --> 00:07:23,535
Your Italian is, how you say, shit?
138
00:07:23,693 --> 00:07:25,661
Then you are not gonna like my Romansh.
139
00:07:25,820 --> 00:07:29,199
Mio Dio, you think this is funny?
I thought that was.
140
00:07:29,366 --> 00:07:33,371
Assassins plan to kill the Holy Father
in his own bed on this very night.
141
00:07:36,373 --> 00:07:38,876
Whoa, whoa.
Take it down a notch, St. Louis.
142
00:07:39,042 --> 00:07:40,840
His head is not up his ass.
143
00:07:41,002 --> 00:07:43,255
How'd you know what he said?
It was an eight-hour flight.
144
00:07:43,421 --> 00:07:47,722
Wow. Did you learn Romansh?
Who am I, Cypher, the gayest X-Man?
145
00:07:47,884 --> 00:07:48,976
I don't know.
146
00:07:49,135 --> 00:07:51,183
Gambit looks like he knows
his way round a pair of--
147
00:07:51,346 --> 00:07:54,976
Basta! Here is the access card
to the Holy Father's private apartment.
148
00:07:55,141 --> 00:07:58,315
I assume you have
a plan once inside?
149
00:07:58,478 --> 00:08:01,402
We call it the old switcheroo.
150
00:08:01,564 --> 00:08:03,783
We absolutely do not call it
the old switcheroo.
151
00:08:05,944 --> 00:08:08,914
I know, right? Trope alert.
152
00:08:14,661 --> 00:08:17,164
Feeling better?
Sound as a pound, my dear.
153
00:08:18,373 --> 00:08:20,091
Where the hell are we?
154
00:08:20,250 --> 00:08:22,503
Uh, this new place called Italy?
155
00:08:23,420 --> 00:08:25,514
How did I get all the way downtown?
156
00:08:25,672 --> 00:08:27,970
Wha--? Not Little Italy,
"ltaly" Italy.
157
00:08:28,133 --> 00:08:30,261
Bloody hell.
What are we doing here?
158
00:08:30,593 --> 00:08:34,939
Thwarting an assassination attempt
on the pope, using you as a decoy.
159
00:08:35,098 --> 00:08:36,270
Back in a tick.
160
00:08:37,183 --> 00:08:39,026
With Ken and your weekend weather.
161
00:08:39,185 --> 00:08:43,531
And you may need an umbrella because
it's gonna be raining dead-ass popes.
162
00:08:44,107 --> 00:08:46,075
Aw, crap, he's already dead.
163
00:08:46,234 --> 00:08:47,577
No, he's not. He's just old.
164
00:08:47,736 --> 00:08:49,738
That's how Woodhouse looks
when he's asleep.
165
00:08:49,904 --> 00:08:51,326
I'm gonna get a mirror.
166
00:08:51,489 --> 00:08:53,662
Heh. Until he wakes up
and sees me staring at him...
167
00:08:53,825 --> 00:08:57,204
...with night vision goggles
and literally pisses himself.
168
00:08:57,370 --> 00:08:59,464
Hey, does Woodhouse seem
unhappy to you or--?
169
00:08:59,622 --> 00:09:03,343
- What the hell are you doing?
- Gonna see if his breath fogs it up.
170
00:09:03,501 --> 00:09:06,630
Put the stupid mirror back. He's not--
Ah!
171
00:09:07,839 --> 00:09:11,264
Dead. Nice job, Oliver Cromwell.
I killed the pope.
172
00:09:11,426 --> 00:09:13,428
Yeah. That's why I said Oliver Crom--
173
00:09:13,595 --> 00:09:16,644
Jesus Christ, I'm going to hell!
I'm going to hell.
174
00:09:16,806 --> 00:09:18,479
I'm go--
175
00:09:18,641 --> 00:09:20,985
Pam?
Yes?
176
00:09:21,144 --> 00:09:23,317
Get off the pope.
177
00:09:25,065 --> 00:09:27,568
Hey, Your Holiness.
178
00:09:27,734 --> 00:09:29,828
Is he dead'?
I don't know. Shut up, I'm--
179
00:09:29,986 --> 00:09:33,331
Should I get another mirror?
But, like, a much, much smaller one?
180
00:09:33,490 --> 00:09:36,334
- No. You're half heroin already.
- Unh.
181
00:09:36,493 --> 00:09:38,871
Okay, here's Junkie Brewster.
Let's--
182
00:09:39,037 --> 00:09:40,505
Where's the pope?
183
00:09:40,663 --> 00:09:42,836
Here's the thing--
Promise you won't get mad?
184
00:09:42,999 --> 00:09:46,469
I actually do not promise I won't get mad.
Because here's what thing?
185
00:09:46,628 --> 00:09:49,973
Um...
What? Why is there a giant mirror on the--?
186
00:09:50,131 --> 00:09:51,678
Oh, my God, you crushed the pope?
187
00:09:51,841 --> 00:09:55,345
Don't just stand there, idiots,
help me get it off and-- Pam! Woodhouse.
188
00:09:55,512 --> 00:09:56,604
Huh? Oh.
189
00:09:58,014 --> 00:09:59,186
Oh.
Ow!
190
00:09:59,349 --> 00:10:02,228
What the--? Is that a needle?
Ha, ha.
191
00:10:03,686 --> 00:10:04,983
Oh, thank God.
192
00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:09,818
We're-- Your Holiness,
do you speak English?
193
00:10:09,984 --> 00:10:11,452
Yes, of course.
194
00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:14,956
But-- Ha! Way to waste your
time learning Italian, Pam.
195
00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:19,711
And could you...?
Sorry.
196
00:10:19,869 --> 00:10:24,124
Dio mio, he look just like me.
Yes, Your Holiness, he's a decoy.
197
00:10:24,290 --> 00:10:26,577
We believe a faction of
the Swiss Guard will
198
00:10:26,590 --> 00:10:28,887
make an attempt on your
life tonight, so--
199
00:10:29,045 --> 00:10:31,924
So if you don't mind hopping out
of those pope-jamas--
200
00:10:32,090 --> 00:10:34,718
Archer. We'll hide you,
put him in your place...
201
00:10:34,884 --> 00:10:38,104
...wait for them to come in, and then--
Then what? You are only two.
202
00:10:38,263 --> 00:10:39,310
Well, three, so--
203
00:10:39,472 --> 00:10:40,724
Better make that two.
204
00:10:40,890 --> 00:10:43,734
Think I might have grabbed the tail
of the dragon here.
205
00:10:43,893 --> 00:10:45,987
Ooh. Then you're in
for a treat.
206
00:10:46,146 --> 00:10:50,242
Shut up. And with all due respect,
Your Holiness, it's the Swiss Guard.
207
00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:54,405
I think we can handle a few court jesters
with, whatever, halberds.
208
00:10:54,571 --> 00:10:57,575
Which you realize are just ceremonial.
209
00:10:57,740 --> 00:11:01,916
Obviously they're ceremonial, Lana.
They were made obsolete by the arquebus.
210
00:11:02,078 --> 00:11:05,423
Which is why, now, they use MP5s.
Oh.
211
00:11:05,582 --> 00:11:08,802
Which is why, where's the gear bag
with all of our automatic weapons?
212
00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:11,509
- Well, I assume in the hotel room, but--
God-- Ugh!
213
00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:14,925
I thought they just had halberds.
Do you at least have a sidearm?
214
00:11:15,091 --> 00:11:17,344
It was ruining the lines of my cassock.
Damn it.
215
00:11:17,510 --> 00:11:19,183
Again, I honestly thought
they just had...
216
00:11:20,555 --> 00:11:22,182
Shit stacks.
...halberds.
217
00:11:22,348 --> 00:11:24,851
Although, technically,
I think they're called voulges.
218
00:11:27,353 --> 00:11:28,855
I got him. Just toss him down.
219
00:11:29,022 --> 00:11:31,571
I'm not tossing the fricking pope.
220
00:11:31,733 --> 00:11:33,451
Somehow, this is all your fault.
221
00:11:34,777 --> 00:11:36,905
Oh, for the-- This is the pope.
222
00:11:37,071 --> 00:11:39,073
- Oh. Then...
- Aah!
223
00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:42,915
Ow! Oh, for shit sake already.
Ha, ha!
224
00:11:43,077 --> 00:11:45,125
Archer, shut up and find us some--
225
00:11:48,625 --> 00:11:50,798
--Transport. Are you shitting me?
226
00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:52,883
Well, it was this
or the Vespas.
227
00:11:53,046 --> 00:11:54,798
It's not my fault Italy's so gay.
228
00:11:54,964 --> 00:11:57,058
Which, by the way, pope, on the gay thing--
229
00:11:57,217 --> 00:12:00,141
La sacra Bibbia
says it is a mortal sin.
230
00:12:00,303 --> 00:12:03,978
But get me out of here alive
and I will pardon you for it, my son.
231
00:12:04,140 --> 00:12:07,360
What? No, I--
Ha!
232
00:12:11,773 --> 00:12:15,403
So why are you scared of church stuff?
233
00:12:15,568 --> 00:12:20,324
Did the unspeakable happen to your
slender, hairless, adolescent body?
234
00:12:20,490 --> 00:12:21,912
What? No.
235
00:12:22,075 --> 00:12:23,327
Ew!
Ugh.
236
00:12:23,493 --> 00:12:25,495
Right?
First of all, I'm not--
237
00:12:25,662 --> 00:12:29,166
I'm not scared of priests or nuns or--
Bishops?
238
00:12:29,332 --> 00:12:31,175
No, I--
Bishop the android from Aliens?
239
00:12:31,334 --> 00:12:34,964
No. I told Miss Archer that because
I didn't wanna go on another mission...
240
00:12:35,129 --> 00:12:38,429
...with the world's worst colleague.
Bishop the android from Aliens.
241
00:12:38,591 --> 00:12:43,267
Archer. You think he's a dick here?
On a mission, he's 10 times worse.
242
00:12:44,597 --> 00:12:45,644
That's impossible.
243
00:12:45,807 --> 00:12:48,230
- Oh, really?
- Yes, really.
244
00:12:48,393 --> 00:12:51,192
A, I was a race car driver, and B--
245
00:12:51,354 --> 00:12:52,856
Archer.
Holiness, a little help?
246
00:12:53,022 --> 00:12:55,741
--The pope could drive better than you.
No, no.
247
00:12:59,445 --> 00:13:01,698
Why are you taking her side?
She's Lutheran.
248
00:13:01,864 --> 00:13:04,083
Eh. Luther had
some valid complaints.
249
00:13:04,242 --> 00:13:07,166
- Archer! Drive the fricking car.
- Ow!
250
00:13:07,328 --> 00:13:10,707
Okay, Lana! What is your problem?
251
00:13:10,873 --> 00:13:13,467
Well, there's you and also that.
252
00:13:13,626 --> 00:13:17,051
Why aren't they on horseback?
Because why would they be?
253
00:13:17,213 --> 00:13:20,433
Oh, right, right.
Halberdsmen are foot soldiers.
254
00:13:22,051 --> 00:13:25,225
The bigger question is,
if they really are the Swiss Guards.
255
00:13:25,388 --> 00:13:29,109
Why are they wearing Swiss Guard uniforms,
driving a Swiss Guard car?
256
00:13:30,643 --> 00:13:35,820
Holy shi-- It's a false-flag operation.
To make it look like the Swiss Guard.
257
00:13:35,982 --> 00:13:38,826
Who told you I was to be assassinated?
258
00:13:38,985 --> 00:13:40,532
Cardinal Corelli. He--
259
00:13:40,695 --> 00:13:45,451
He wouldn't, by any chance,
be next in line for the papacy, would he?
260
00:13:46,492 --> 00:13:50,247
Well, there would be an election.
Right. With the smudge pot.
261
00:13:50,413 --> 00:13:53,758
But Corelli would be sure to win.
Pretty good motive.
262
00:13:53,916 --> 00:13:56,010
Yeah. You must make a shitload.
263
00:14:03,801 --> 00:14:05,348
Go. What are you doing?
264
00:14:05,511 --> 00:14:07,684
- I'm letting them catch up.
- Why?
265
00:14:07,847 --> 00:14:11,021
Can I finish?
He asked, agent-in-commandingly.
266
00:14:11,184 --> 00:14:12,936
Take the wheel and maintain speed.
267
00:14:13,102 --> 00:14:16,697
Woodhouse, lighter.
I'm only 90 pounds wet, sir.
268
00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:19,951
What? No, you idiot, your spoon cooker.
269
00:14:20,109 --> 00:14:22,908
Oh, right.
Like pulling teeth with you people.
270
00:14:23,071 --> 00:14:25,369
Lana, head toward Swiss Guard HQ.
271
00:14:25,531 --> 00:14:27,454
What? While you request "Free Bird"?
272
00:14:31,371 --> 00:14:33,965
Actually, that was pretty good,
for you, at least.
273
00:14:34,123 --> 00:14:35,921
But no, while I do--
274
00:14:36,084 --> 00:14:38,428
Shit, I had a pun about flares.
275
00:14:38,586 --> 00:14:41,385
Fake dynamite?
That's your plan?
276
00:14:41,547 --> 00:14:43,675
So, hey,
can I squeeze in a confession?
277
00:14:47,470 --> 00:14:51,270
Fine. I'll buy a damn indulgence.
Oh, wait.
278
00:14:51,432 --> 00:14:54,481
Wait until they're right beside us,
then swerve into them.
279
00:14:54,644 --> 00:14:56,146
What, so you're crushed between the--?
280
00:14:58,147 --> 00:14:59,820
Should have seen that coming.
281
00:15:00,983 --> 00:15:03,987
- Hey, I can see St. Peter's from here.
- Archer, look out.
282
00:15:04,153 --> 00:15:08,499
Goddamn it, quit telling me what to do.
I'm the goddamn agent in command.
283
00:15:08,658 --> 00:15:11,002
Figo. He really drops the GD bombs.
284
00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:13,083
Plus, he's a whoremonger.
285
00:15:13,246 --> 00:15:16,420
Cough.
Oh, please. Who hasn't paid for it?
286
00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:18,843
Still talking about
indulgences.
287
00:15:19,001 --> 00:15:22,505
Lana, now!
He said, last-wordsingly. Hang on.
288
00:15:25,925 --> 00:15:28,769
What the--? Pam, what did he say'?
289
00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:33,354
What do you think he said, dick nuts?
Pay attention to the fricking context.
290
00:15:33,516 --> 00:15:36,360
Well, sorry,
I don't have your language nerd skills.
291
00:15:36,519 --> 00:15:38,362
Hang on, Pambit.
292
00:15:38,521 --> 00:15:41,695
Wrong X-Man, dumb-ass.
Still, though.
293
00:15:45,695 --> 00:15:48,118
- Oh!
- Oh, shit!
294
00:15:48,281 --> 00:15:49,624
Pam!
Get down!
295
00:15:51,617 --> 00:15:53,961
Aah!
Lana!
296
00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:56,214
Mm. I'm fine.
297
00:15:56,372 --> 00:15:58,500
Yeah. Me too, asshole.
298
00:15:58,666 --> 00:15:59,838
Yeah, good.
299
00:16:00,001 --> 00:16:01,628
Is the pope hit?
300
00:16:01,794 --> 00:16:04,468
Uh, no. He's-- They're both good.
301
00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:09,970
Really wish I hadn't focused so heavily
on the Romansh.
302
00:16:11,345 --> 00:16:12,688
Lesson one.
303
00:16:16,225 --> 00:16:18,819
Context. They're reloading.
304
00:16:18,978 --> 00:16:21,447
Oh. That's what you mean by context?
305
00:16:23,065 --> 00:16:24,908
What else could she possibly mean?
306
00:16:25,067 --> 00:16:26,785
Who am I, William Safire?
307
00:16:26,944 --> 00:16:29,743
Oh, and speaking of, in the hole!
308
00:16:29,906 --> 00:16:31,158
What?
309
00:16:31,324 --> 00:16:34,703
Safire in the hole, Lana. It's a--
310
00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:38,840
Lana, look out!
311
00:16:42,126 --> 00:16:43,673
Ow.
312
00:16:46,589 --> 00:16:51,095
Ah. So the good news is, my men
have apprehended Cardinal Corelli...
313
00:16:51,260 --> 00:16:55,265
...who immediately confessed to the plot.
Hey, hey, that is good news.
314
00:16:55,431 --> 00:16:58,935
You know how the whole
"the good news is" thing works, right?
315
00:16:59,101 --> 00:17:00,478
The bad news is...
Oh, right.
316
00:17:00,645 --> 00:17:03,364
...the men you killed
were camorra.
317
00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:05,992
What are they, like, the Mafia?
Ha, ha, ha.
318
00:17:06,150 --> 00:17:08,448
The camorra
is like your Mafia, like--
319
00:17:08,611 --> 00:17:12,411
SEAL Team 6 is like the Girl Scouts.
Exactly.
320
00:17:12,573 --> 00:17:15,292
So equally sexy?
321
00:17:15,451 --> 00:17:17,249
- Ow!
- Ow!
322
00:17:17,411 --> 00:17:18,958
But the real good news-- Ow!
323
00:17:19,121 --> 00:17:20,122
Dick.
324
00:17:20,289 --> 00:17:22,291
--Is that we saved the pope's life.
325
00:17:22,458 --> 00:17:24,552
For which we are grateful.
326
00:17:24,710 --> 00:17:27,805
However,
we cannot tell these two apart.
327
00:17:27,964 --> 00:17:30,717
$0...
So I actually have an idea about that.
328
00:17:30,883 --> 00:17:33,762
Is it, take them both home,
see which one's a better butler...
329
00:17:33,928 --> 00:17:35,503
...and give the other
one back to the church?
330
00:17:35,516 --> 00:17:37,102
Uh, never mind.
331
00:17:37,265 --> 00:17:39,939
Then why don't we leave them
both here until they come to.
332
00:17:40,101 --> 00:17:42,320
I'm sure Woodhouse
never gets a vacation.
333
00:17:42,478 --> 00:17:45,652
Are you kidding? I didn't even let
him go to his brother's funeral.
334
00:17:45,815 --> 00:17:47,237
What?
Oh, my--
335
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:49,778
You asshole. Was he crushed?
336
00:17:49,944 --> 00:17:52,663
Probably would have been
if I had told him about it.
337
00:17:52,822 --> 00:17:57,623
Ugh. But wait, why did Corelli hire ISIS
to prevent the assassination?
338
00:17:57,785 --> 00:18:00,880
To show the cardinals
he was trying to prevent it...
339
00:18:01,038 --> 00:18:04,838
...all the while assuming--
What? That we'd totally blow--?
340
00:18:05,001 --> 00:18:07,504
My God, he assumed we'd totally blow it.
341
00:18:07,670 --> 00:18:11,174
Well, ISIS has a certain reputation.
342
00:18:11,340 --> 00:18:13,968
Hey. Whoa, not cool,
Payne Stewart.
343
00:18:14,135 --> 00:18:16,433
Ugh. My God,
if Malory ever hears about this--
344
00:18:16,596 --> 00:18:19,645
Which she won't. Because, Pam...
What?
345
00:18:19,807 --> 00:18:22,686
...promise you'll never tell Mother.
Okay, I promise.
346
00:18:22,852 --> 00:18:24,729
Swear to God.
347
00:18:26,522 --> 00:18:27,569
What?!
348
00:18:27,732 --> 00:18:28,824
Pam!
349
00:18:28,983 --> 00:18:31,862
Ha!27635
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