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1
00:00:03,671 --> 00:00:07,131
So there's your
breast-cancer tumor, and the portacath...
2
00:00:07,299 --> 00:00:09,884
...through which you take
cyclophosphamate intravenously.
3
00:00:11,345 --> 00:00:13,096
And you're taking
tetraphenol orally, right?
4
00:00:19,603 --> 00:00:21,938
I don't know, Krieger,
maybe it's because I'm a badass...
5
00:00:22,106 --> 00:00:23,690
...but chemotherapy is a breeze.
6
00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:24,899
Yeah, that's my point.
7
00:00:25,067 --> 00:00:28,778
Two weeks of chemo with no hair loss,
and you're not experiencing any nausea?
8
00:00:32,449 --> 00:00:34,283
Which, I gotta tell you, huge fan.
9
00:00:34,451 --> 00:00:36,869
Oh, yeah?
Yeah, and I advocate its use.
10
00:00:37,037 --> 00:00:39,038
As a potential role model, I advocate it.
11
00:00:39,206 --> 00:00:41,332
To combat
chemotherapy-related nausea...
12
00:00:41,500 --> 00:00:46,546
...or for cannabidiol's clinically proven
ability to inhibit cancer cell growth?
13
00:00:46,714 --> 00:00:50,174
It does that?
Yep, and if you need more, let me know.
14
00:00:50,342 --> 00:00:51,801
I got a guy.
15
00:00:51,969 --> 00:00:53,845
Me too, Krieger.
He's called a pharmacist.
16
00:00:54,012 --> 00:00:57,640
Yeah, and is he the same pharmacist
who gave you all these chemo drugs?
17
00:00:57,808 --> 00:00:59,392
He damn sure didn't give it to me.
18
00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:02,061
You would not believe
how much cancer medicine costs.
19
00:01:02,229 --> 00:01:04,480
Those pills are like 80 bucks each...
20
00:01:04,648 --> 00:01:06,899
...and the IV stuff
is literally 2 grand a bag...
21
00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:10,153
...so why the hell are you poking a hole
in my bag, Krieger?
22
00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:11,988
Because I want to run a few tests.
23
00:01:12,406 --> 00:01:15,658
And so, if the reagent turns blue...
24
00:01:15,826 --> 00:01:17,577
But what does that mean, is that good?
25
00:01:17,745 --> 00:01:21,289
No. It means this $80 pill
is 100 percent sucrose.
26
00:01:21,457 --> 00:01:22,749
What?
Sugar?
27
00:01:22,916 --> 00:01:25,835
I know what sucrose is, idiot.
But there's medicine in there too, right?
28
00:01:26,003 --> 00:01:28,087
Uh, no, not a trace.
What...?
29
00:01:28,255 --> 00:01:31,174
Wait, so I've been treating
my breast cancer with sugar pills?
30
00:01:31,341 --> 00:01:34,260
You didn't think it was weird
your chemo drugs were chewable?
31
00:01:34,428 --> 00:01:37,180
No, little kids get cancer.
Oh, they do.
32
00:01:37,347 --> 00:01:41,100
Well, what about the intravenous drug?
Right, yes, the cyclophosphamate.
33
00:01:41,268 --> 00:01:43,519
Hm.
"Mm" what, Krieger?
34
00:01:43,687 --> 00:01:46,022
"Mm" no, this isn't cyclophosphamate.
35
00:01:46,190 --> 00:01:48,065
Well, what the...? Krieger.
36
00:01:48,233 --> 00:01:49,442
What the hell is it?
37
00:01:49,610 --> 00:01:53,529
Well, this is just an educated guess,
but, um...
38
00:01:53,697 --> 00:01:55,823
Zima?
What...?
39
00:02:32,736 --> 00:02:34,570
Oh, my God, are you serious?
40
00:02:34,738 --> 00:02:38,741
Counterfeit cancer drugs?
Yeah, basically candy corn and Zima.
41
00:02:38,909 --> 00:02:42,078
Jesus.
Probably why I've been in a great mood.
42
00:02:42,246 --> 00:02:43,579
But, Sterling, your tumor.
43
00:02:43,747 --> 00:02:45,915
All this time, it's been...
Growing, I guess.
44
00:02:46,083 --> 00:02:47,583
Oh, Sterling.
45
00:02:47,751 --> 00:02:50,586
Plus God knows how many cancer
patients have been taking that stuff.
46
00:02:50,754 --> 00:02:53,548
- Huh, like Ruth.
- Here you go, folks.
47
00:02:53,715 --> 00:02:56,050
A week's supply of breast-cancer
chemotherapy drugs...
48
00:02:56,218 --> 00:03:00,263
...and, uh, your medical marijuana.
Oh, you poor thing.
49
00:03:00,430 --> 00:03:02,849
Does someone you love
have breast cancer?
50
00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:04,225
Yeah. Me.
51
00:03:04,393 --> 00:03:05,893
Um, name's Archer.
52
00:03:06,061 --> 00:03:08,563
Ruth. And don't
you worry, dear.
53
00:03:08,730 --> 00:03:11,357
We can beat cancer
with this medicine.
54
00:03:11,525 --> 00:03:13,943
Even if I can barely pay for it.
55
00:03:14,111 --> 00:03:18,781
Don't you worry, Ruth.
I'm gonna make them pay for it.
56
00:03:18,949 --> 00:03:21,951
What are you...?
Sterling, no, you're not well.
57
00:03:22,119 --> 00:03:23,286
What are you going to do?
58
00:03:23,453 --> 00:03:26,455
Cry havoc,
and let slip the hogs of war.
59
00:03:26,623 --> 00:03:27,748
Dogs of war.
60
00:03:27,916 --> 00:03:31,210
Whatever farm animal of war, Lana.
Shut up.
61
00:03:44,433 --> 00:03:45,766
Oh, God.
I think he gets it.
62
00:03:45,934 --> 00:03:48,311
Just film the confessions, Lana,
don't editorialize.
63
00:03:48,478 --> 00:03:50,104
Do you get it?
Yes. Look, please.
64
00:03:50,272 --> 00:03:53,983
Because I swear to God, I will strip
back down and show you all over again.
65
00:03:54,151 --> 00:03:55,234
No, I get it. I get it.
66
00:03:55,402 --> 00:03:57,320
You have a lot of guns.
And a knife.
67
00:03:57,487 --> 00:04:01,657
Which I am going to push, very slowly,
into your urethra.
68
00:04:01,825 --> 00:04:02,825
Ew.
69
00:04:02,993 --> 00:04:04,744
If you don't answer my questions.
Number one.
70
00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:08,331
Wow, what a pussy.
71
00:04:08,498 --> 00:04:11,417
I could barely even keep up,
he was spilling the beans so fast.
72
00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:15,421
Well, you threatened to shove a knife
up his dick hole. Which, again, ick.
73
00:04:15,589 --> 00:04:18,591
Well, excuse me, Lana. It's a rampage.
Still, though.
74
00:04:18,759 --> 00:04:21,218
You really wanna take on the Irish mob?
No, I don't.
75
00:04:21,386 --> 00:04:25,222
They're the ones switching out life-saving
cancer drugs with candy and Zima.
76
00:04:25,390 --> 00:04:27,808
And why couldn't it be
the Brazilian mob?
77
00:04:32,814 --> 00:04:36,484
Plus I can only assume a Brazilian mob
would be a jillion times sexier.
78
00:04:37,819 --> 00:04:42,323
Seriously, these potato heads
have to be the unsexiest mob of all time.
79
00:04:43,033 --> 00:04:47,328
You know who you're messing with, boyo?
You have any idea who our boss is?
80
00:04:47,496 --> 00:04:51,207
Nope, but a hundred people surveyed,
number one answer is on the board.
81
00:04:51,833 --> 00:04:56,796
Name the douchebag who's in charge.
Vincent Van Go **** yourself.
82
00:04:56,964 --> 00:05:01,050
Hm, Vincent Van Go **** myself.
Survey says...
83
00:05:01,218 --> 00:05:02,218
- Ahh!
- Oh, Christ.
84
00:05:02,386 --> 00:05:04,804
Good Jesus, Archer.
What, Lana?
85
00:05:04,972 --> 00:05:06,931
I said it was a rampage.
Still, though.
86
00:05:07,099 --> 00:05:11,686
Unh, unh. Oh, you son of a whore.
Save it for the fast money round, Paddy.
87
00:05:11,853 --> 00:05:15,439
Hundred people surveyed,
number one answer's still on the board.
88
00:05:15,607 --> 00:05:18,192
Name the douchebag
who's in charge.
89
00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:20,528
Eh-ehh! Need an answer.
90
00:05:20,696 --> 00:05:22,655
Mm. Cock-flavored spit.
91
00:05:22,823 --> 00:05:24,782
Well, you never know
what's gonna be on the board.
92
00:05:24,950 --> 00:05:26,575
Let me see cock-flavored spit.
93
00:05:28,036 --> 00:05:29,078
Guys, that's two strikes.
94
00:05:29,246 --> 00:05:31,455
One more
and the innocent Honduran janitors...
95
00:05:31,623 --> 00:05:33,666
...get a chance to steal the bank.
96
00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:36,168
I'm just assuming you don't know
what goes on here.
97
00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:38,045
I hope that doesn't sound racist.
98
00:05:38,213 --> 00:05:39,672
Okay, kid.
He is a kid, Archer.
99
00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:41,924
Lana, you're in
the isolation booth.
100
00:05:42,092 --> 00:05:43,718
Looking for
the douchebag who's...
101
00:05:43,885 --> 00:05:47,096
Mikey Hannity, you say one word
and I'll cut your yellow heart out...
102
00:05:47,264 --> 00:05:48,389
Uh-uh.
103
00:05:48,557 --> 00:05:50,057
- Oh, Christ!
- Ugh.
104
00:05:50,225 --> 00:05:52,059
Mikey, you gotta
listen to me.
105
00:05:52,227 --> 00:05:53,269
I have breast cancer.
106
00:05:53,437 --> 00:05:54,895
Ha, ha. Breast cancer.
107
00:05:55,063 --> 00:05:59,275
So you'll forgive my impatience
because I and a lot of other people...
108
00:05:59,443 --> 00:06:03,237
...have been trying to fight cancer
with your boss's fake chemo drugs.
109
00:06:03,405 --> 00:06:04,447
Chemo?
110
00:06:04,614 --> 00:06:07,199
They told me it was cream
for male pattern baldness.
111
00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:09,452
Do I look like I need bald guy cream?
No...
112
00:06:09,619 --> 00:06:11,370
I can barely get a comb
through this.
113
00:06:11,538 --> 00:06:14,707
It's so thick my barber
charges me double. I love my hair.
114
00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:17,960
As I'm sure you love your kneecap.
Franny Delaney.
115
00:06:18,128 --> 00:06:21,797
He runs everything here in Brooklyn.
Numbers, protection, dope, prostitution.
116
00:06:21,965 --> 00:06:25,718
Victimless crimes, Mikey.
Tell me about the counterfeit chemo drugs.
117
00:06:25,886 --> 00:06:27,887
They make the pharmacist
buy the real stuff.
118
00:06:28,055 --> 00:06:29,096
Delaney sells it to...
119
00:06:29,264 --> 00:06:32,475
...I swear I don't know who,
but they switch it with fake stuff here.
120
00:06:32,642 --> 00:06:34,810
And those pricks do all the packing.
What?
121
00:06:34,978 --> 00:06:37,897
You guys are in on this?
And I was worried about sounding racist.
122
00:06:38,065 --> 00:06:40,232
Were you?
They don't know what goes on here.
123
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:41,650
They can't read English.
124
00:06:41,818 --> 00:06:44,278
All those beaners care about
is taking American jobs.
125
00:06:44,446 --> 00:06:45,488
Hey, relax, Hannity.
126
00:06:45,655 --> 00:06:48,449
It wasn't all that long ago
that everybody hated the Irish...
127
00:06:48,617 --> 00:06:51,952
...for swarming over here in their
potato boats and taking all the jobs.
128
00:06:52,120 --> 00:06:53,204
Yeah, they... Wait, what?
129
00:06:53,371 --> 00:06:55,831
And I'm pretty sure...
Guys, feel free to correct me.
130
00:06:55,999 --> 00:06:59,168
- That "beaner" is a pejorative term
for a Mexican.
131
00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:04,548
Huh. Thought there'd be an overlap
with the Portuguese.
132
00:07:04,716 --> 00:07:06,050
Plus they're gagged.
Still, though.
133
00:07:06,218 --> 00:07:09,136
And third, is this the real stuff?
Yeah, this is all real.
134
00:07:09,304 --> 00:07:11,388
Why?
Because I'm way behind on my treatment.
135
00:07:11,556 --> 00:07:13,015
Wait, what
are you doing?
136
00:07:13,183 --> 00:07:15,267
I'm sorry, Lana,
did I mention I have cancer?
137
00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:19,605
I know, but now in mid-rampage?
You really think that's a good idea?
138
00:07:19,773 --> 00:07:22,108
Hmm. Let me see,
to take my prescribed chemotherapy...
139
00:07:22,275 --> 00:07:24,193
...for my said
aforementioned cancer?
140
00:07:24,361 --> 00:07:26,153
Yes, idiot. I do.
141
00:07:28,865 --> 00:07:32,034
- Oh, I'm sorry I called you an idiot, Lana.
- Ha, ha. Yeah?
142
00:07:32,202 --> 00:07:33,786
Yeah, you were totally right.
143
00:07:33,954 --> 00:07:35,496
Unh. Not a smart
mid-rampage move.
144
00:07:35,664 --> 00:07:37,790
Ha. And you think that is?
145
00:07:38,208 --> 00:07:40,209
Yes, idiot. I do.
146
00:07:41,503 --> 00:07:44,213
Sorry. Again. I'm not myself.
147
00:07:44,381 --> 00:07:47,007
But you are kind of
being a bitch.
148
00:07:51,972 --> 00:07:55,558
Okay, so day two
of the chemo-fueled rampage...
149
00:07:55,725 --> 00:07:57,476
...and, wow, how you holding up?
150
00:07:57,644 --> 00:07:58,686
Not great.
151
00:07:58,854 --> 00:08:01,188
As you can see,
I've got wine coolers on my feet...
152
00:08:01,356 --> 00:08:03,732
...because my toenails
are popping off like pogs.
153
00:08:03,900 --> 00:08:08,237
Fair amount of gastric distress,
and, uh, scarf.
154
00:08:08,405 --> 00:08:11,157
Suck it up. I tracked Delaney
to an all-night poker game.
155
00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:12,366
Great, one second?
156
00:08:14,411 --> 00:08:15,828
Ew.
Unh.
157
00:08:15,996 --> 00:08:18,914
Ugh, I never thought I'd say this,
but I really miss the Zima.
158
00:08:19,666 --> 00:08:23,460
I mean, was I there for every
single recital and lacrosse game? No.
159
00:08:23,628 --> 00:08:26,589
Is our adult relationship perfect? No.
160
00:08:26,756 --> 00:08:30,384
But I just can't even imagine life
without my precious Sterling.
161
00:08:30,552 --> 00:08:33,721
And have you ever told him that?
What, are you kidding? No.
162
00:08:33,889 --> 00:08:37,099
Wow, really? My mama told me
how much she loved me all the time.
163
00:08:37,267 --> 00:08:39,268
Exactly.
Look how you turned out.
164
00:08:39,436 --> 00:08:41,437
Uh, with high self-esteem?
165
00:08:42,439 --> 00:08:43,731
What you doing, Krieger?
166
00:08:43,899 --> 00:08:45,274
Well, I feel bad
for Archer...
167
00:08:45,442 --> 00:08:47,651
...so I'm making him some
Portuguese flashcards.
168
00:08:47,819 --> 00:08:49,570
Portuguese?
But isn't...?
169
00:08:49,738 --> 00:08:51,405
I thought Krieger
was a German name.
170
00:08:51,573 --> 00:08:53,157
Über German.
It means "warrior."
171
00:08:53,325 --> 00:08:54,658
How come
you know Portuguese?
172
00:08:54,826 --> 00:08:58,412
Because I grew up in Braz...
Bristol County, Rhode Island.
173
00:08:58,580 --> 00:09:01,290
Lot of Portuguese in Rhode Island.
Where you're from.
174
00:09:01,458 --> 00:09:04,126
Born and raised.
Uh-huh. What's the state capital?
175
00:09:04,294 --> 00:09:07,129
- Of?
- Rhode Island.
176
00:09:07,297 --> 00:09:08,297
Dallas?
Aha.
177
00:09:08,465 --> 00:09:11,258
"Aha" what?
It's Austin, duh.
178
00:09:11,426 --> 00:09:12,468
It's Providence.
179
00:09:12,636 --> 00:09:15,304
But I bet he knows
the capital of Brazil, don't you?
180
00:09:15,472 --> 00:09:16,972
I don't have to answer that.
Who do you...?
181
00:09:23,855 --> 00:09:26,523
Oh, my God.
What the heck was that all about?
182
00:09:26,691 --> 00:09:28,400
Duh.
183
00:09:28,568 --> 00:09:30,736
I actually have no idea.
No shit.
184
00:09:30,904 --> 00:09:33,822
Yeah, I don't know
why I do that.
185
00:09:33,990 --> 00:09:38,077
Because I don't want it in my car.
186
00:09:38,787 --> 00:09:41,413
What do you want me to do, Lana,
throw it out the window?
187
00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:43,123
Obviously.
Oh.
188
00:09:44,167 --> 00:09:46,418
Aah!
Ha-ha-ha. Oh.
189
00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:49,088
I'm gonna be sick again.
Not in here, you're not.
190
00:09:49,256 --> 00:09:51,006
Then pull over, Lana.
No, we're late.
191
00:09:51,174 --> 00:09:54,593
You might've missed your shot at Delaney.
Well, then now this is happening.
192
00:09:54,761 --> 00:09:56,053
Wh...? Ugh.
193
00:09:56,221 --> 00:09:59,515
Lana, did you see my scarf?
Yes, Archer, I saw your scarf.
194
00:09:59,683 --> 00:10:01,976
All my hair fell out.
I'm sorry.
195
00:10:02,143 --> 00:10:05,437
Me too. It was my fifth best feature.
196
00:10:06,523 --> 00:10:08,816
Oh, I think it's your sweetness.
197
00:10:08,984 --> 00:10:10,818
Heh, heh. Nobody's ever
called me sweet before.
198
00:10:10,986 --> 00:10:14,863
Well, you're sweet enough to come
see a sick old lady in the hospital.
199
00:10:15,031 --> 00:10:18,409
What? I didn't come by to see you,
I'm trying to bang a candy striper.
200
00:10:20,453 --> 00:10:23,455
But, uh, it's not good, huh?
No, dear.
201
00:10:23,623 --> 00:10:26,959
Afraid it's just not responding
to those chemo drugs.
202
00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:29,128
Hey, you two
can't smoke in here.
203
00:10:29,296 --> 00:10:31,130
Oh, unwad your panties.
204
00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:35,175
- Yeah.
- Archer.
205
00:10:35,343 --> 00:10:36,677
Ha, ha. What?
Archer.
206
00:10:36,845 --> 00:10:37,970
We're here.
207
00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:40,597
Oh. Right.
You good?
208
00:10:45,562 --> 00:10:49,440
Rampage!
209
00:10:50,817 --> 00:10:52,026
Little help?
210
00:10:52,193 --> 00:10:54,611
Leave me alone. I am not a Nazi.
211
00:10:54,779 --> 00:10:58,991
Yeah, well, what about your father?
No, he was a scientist.
212
00:10:59,159 --> 00:11:01,910
Pretty sure the Nazis had scientists.
No, they didn't.
213
00:11:02,078 --> 00:11:03,120
That's why we... Ahem.
214
00:11:03,288 --> 00:11:05,414
They lost the war.
Lack of science.
215
00:11:05,582 --> 00:11:10,002
Well, we'll just see what Ms. Archer
has to say about this Nazi beeswax.
216
00:11:10,170 --> 00:11:11,253
Fine.
217
00:11:12,172 --> 00:11:15,591
Or, you know, not fine.
218
00:11:15,759 --> 00:11:18,344
Because between the cancer
and the chemo...
219
00:11:18,511 --> 00:11:20,304
...and the just shit-tons of weed...
220
00:11:20,472 --> 00:11:23,766
Oh, actually, yeah, good idea.
Let's hang back a sec and burn one down.
221
00:11:23,933 --> 00:11:27,936
No. And I know it's not my business,
but I think you might have a problem.
222
00:11:28,104 --> 00:11:30,939
Yeah, Lana, it's called cancer.
And also drug abuse.
223
00:11:31,107 --> 00:11:33,609
Thanks, Woodsy.
The Drug Owl.
224
00:11:33,777 --> 00:11:35,611
Now shut up
and kick in the door for me.
225
00:11:35,779 --> 00:11:37,321
And do it badass
like I would...
226
00:11:37,489 --> 00:11:39,198
...if I still had toenails.
227
00:11:39,366 --> 00:11:42,368
Shite, Joey, you call this a hand?
More like a foot.
228
00:11:42,535 --> 00:11:45,287
A great big...
Franny Delaney.
229
00:11:45,455 --> 00:11:47,873
Stand your ass up.
230
00:11:48,041 --> 00:11:49,750
Oh, you just missed him.
231
00:11:49,918 --> 00:11:53,253
Shame, too, because he just loves
the E Street Band.
232
00:11:55,924 --> 00:11:58,342
Did he just crack on my scarf?
I think he did.
233
00:11:58,510 --> 00:12:02,388
- Ow! What the shit, Archer?
Oh. Uh-oh.
234
00:12:02,597 --> 00:12:03,847
You idiot asshole.
Sorry.
235
00:12:04,015 --> 00:12:06,892
Now we're even, Lana,
from the time you did that to me.
236
00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:09,228
I am sorry, though. I know that hurts.
Argh!
237
00:12:09,396 --> 00:12:13,315
Speaking of hurt, boy,
you're stepping into a great big world of it.
238
00:12:13,483 --> 00:12:16,443
So I suggest you take your bull dyke...
Lana!
239
00:12:17,445 --> 00:12:20,364
Lana! Aah!
What?
240
00:12:20,532 --> 00:12:23,784
First of all, you don't have to yell, Lana.
I don't have ear cancer.
241
00:12:23,952 --> 00:12:28,163
And second, until I find out where
Delaney is, please stop shooting people.
242
00:12:28,331 --> 00:12:29,456
Go ahead and shoot me.
243
00:12:29,624 --> 00:12:32,126
Because ain't nothing in the world
can make me talk.
244
00:12:32,293 --> 00:12:34,169
Well, heh,
you say that.
245
00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:37,089
What are you doing back there?
246
00:12:37,257 --> 00:12:40,175
Don't worry about what I'm doing,
concentrate on what you're doing.
247
00:12:40,343 --> 00:12:41,468
What am I doing?
248
00:12:41,636 --> 00:12:44,179
Well, for starters,
you can apologize to my friend...
249
00:12:44,347 --> 00:12:45,806
...for your homophobic remarks.
250
00:12:45,974 --> 00:12:48,517
I'm sorry, darling.
I had no idea you were a gay.
251
00:12:48,685 --> 00:12:51,019
What?
She's not gay, she just has big hands.
252
00:12:51,187 --> 00:12:52,855
What?
Nothing. Shut up.
253
00:12:53,022 --> 00:12:54,982
I'm gonna assume
you know the difference...
254
00:12:55,150 --> 00:12:57,818
...between an M26
and a Mark 2 fragmentation grenade.
255
00:12:57,986 --> 00:12:59,027
- What?
- What?
256
00:12:59,195 --> 00:13:01,029
Oh, sorry, do you not?
Heh, heh, okay.
257
00:13:01,197 --> 00:13:04,241
All right, the Mark 2
has kind of nubbly ridges.
258
00:13:04,409 --> 00:13:07,202
Do you feel those?
Different circumstances, might feel good.
259
00:13:07,370 --> 00:13:12,207
Wait, son. Now, just wait a second.
Another key difference is the pin.
260
00:13:12,375 --> 00:13:13,459
Oh, Jesus.
261
00:13:13,626 --> 00:13:15,878
See? The striking lever's
the same, though.
262
00:13:16,045 --> 00:13:18,255
It's spring-loaded.
Which reminds me...
263
00:13:18,423 --> 00:13:21,133
...did you know that men can also
benefit from doing Kegel exercises?
264
00:13:22,510 --> 00:13:23,594
Case in point, huh?
265
00:13:23,761 --> 00:13:26,889
Now, where's
your cancer-patient-killing boss?
266
00:13:27,056 --> 00:13:28,098
I got it, let's go.
267
00:13:28,266 --> 00:13:30,392
You're gonna leave him
with a grenade up his ass?
268
00:13:30,560 --> 00:13:32,227
Yes, Lana, I'm on a rampage.
269
00:13:32,395 --> 00:13:35,772
- And also kidding, it's a smoke grenade.
- Oh, thank...
270
00:13:39,402 --> 00:13:40,736
Asshole.
What?
271
00:13:40,904 --> 00:13:43,739
What?
272
00:13:43,907 --> 00:13:46,033
What, Lana?
273
00:13:49,579 --> 00:13:51,246
What?
274
00:13:51,623 --> 00:13:53,373
I thought it was
a smoke grenade.
275
00:13:53,541 --> 00:13:56,835
They look exactly nothing alike.
276
00:13:57,629 --> 00:13:58,670
What?
277
00:14:01,174 --> 00:14:02,925
What are you doing? Delaney's not here.
278
00:14:03,092 --> 00:14:05,052
No, but my ENT doctor is.
279
00:14:05,220 --> 00:14:07,346
Do you like him?
Because I sure do.
280
00:14:07,514 --> 00:14:10,682
Good bedside manner,
knows all the parts of the ear.
281
00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:13,018
- What was his name again?
- Mr. Archer?
282
00:14:13,186 --> 00:14:15,103
I guess you heard about Ruth.
What?
283
00:14:15,271 --> 00:14:16,647
About Ruth.
I guess you heard.
284
00:14:16,814 --> 00:14:17,940
What?
Ruth.
285
00:14:18,107 --> 00:14:20,400
Your friend is dead.
What?
286
00:14:20,568 --> 00:14:24,780
Regis. I wake up early every morning
and watch Regis.
287
00:14:24,948 --> 00:14:28,242
And that smile of his,
it gets me through the day.
288
00:14:28,409 --> 00:14:30,619
You know what,
I'm gonna start doing that, Ruth.
289
00:14:30,787 --> 00:14:32,037
Oh, you must.
290
00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:36,416
Regis is the best.
No, Ruth, you're the best.
291
00:14:36,584 --> 00:14:38,001
Archer.
Hm?
292
00:14:38,169 --> 00:14:41,129
Archer.
What? Oh.
293
00:14:41,506 --> 00:14:43,715
Heh. Oh, man, what have I been doing?
294
00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:45,842
Chain-smoking joints
the size of tampons.
295
00:14:46,010 --> 00:14:47,469
Ew.
Figure of speech.
296
00:14:47,637 --> 00:14:48,720
Still, though. Ew.
297
00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:50,806
You're not rampaging?
I thought you were rampaging.
298
00:14:50,974 --> 00:14:52,933
Right, yes, here we go. All right.
299
00:14:53,101 --> 00:14:55,018
I got this. Franny Delaney.
300
00:14:55,186 --> 00:14:56,270
Let's take a walk.
301
00:14:56,437 --> 00:14:59,314
A walk?
Is that some sort of joke?
302
00:14:59,482 --> 00:15:01,984
A roll, then. Whatever.
303
00:15:02,151 --> 00:15:04,486
Are you not listening to me?
Well, obviously not.
304
00:15:04,654 --> 00:15:07,990
My God, how is there not
one picture of us together?
305
00:15:08,157 --> 00:15:10,993
Krieger's father was a Nazi scientist.
306
00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:14,288
And JFK's father was a bootlegger.
307
00:15:14,455 --> 00:15:17,833
What? That's like comparing apples
to Nazi oranges.
308
00:15:18,001 --> 00:15:19,084
Oranges, exactly.
309
00:15:19,252 --> 00:15:21,628
Do you like powdered orange
breakfast drink?
310
00:15:21,796 --> 00:15:22,838
No, not really.
311
00:15:23,006 --> 00:15:27,259
How about microwave ovens,
Neil Armstrong, hook-and-loop fasteners?
312
00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:28,510
Okay, you lost me.
313
00:15:28,678 --> 00:15:30,554
None of those
would have been possible...
314
00:15:30,722 --> 00:15:33,849
...without the Nazi scientists
we brought back after World War I I.
315
00:15:34,017 --> 00:15:37,561
The Nazis invented Neil Armstrong?
Rockets.
316
00:15:37,729 --> 00:15:39,521
Which put him
on the moon.
317
00:15:39,689 --> 00:15:43,817
After the war ended, we were snatching up
Kraut scientists like hotcakes.
318
00:15:43,985 --> 00:15:46,862
You don't believe me? Walk into NASA
sometime and yell, "Heil Hitler."
319
00:15:47,030 --> 00:15:49,031
Whoop. They all jump straight up.
320
00:15:49,198 --> 00:15:53,201
But, Cyril, I know all about
Dr. Krieger's origins.
321
00:15:53,369 --> 00:15:55,996
And I also know
that nobody likes a tattletale.
322
00:15:56,164 --> 00:15:57,289
Yeah, Cyril.
323
00:15:57,457 --> 00:16:01,209
And if it's one thing I've learned
in all my years as a spy master...
324
00:16:01,377 --> 00:16:04,212
...it's that you keep your friends close.
325
00:16:04,380 --> 00:16:05,547
Yeah, Cyril.
326
00:16:05,715 --> 00:16:09,384
And possible genetic clones
of Adolf Hitler closer.
327
00:16:09,552 --> 00:16:10,594
Yeah, Cy... Wait, what?
328
00:16:10,762 --> 00:16:12,554
- Yeah, what?
- Hm?
329
00:16:12,722 --> 00:16:15,557
Oh, my God, it was you.
330
00:16:15,725 --> 00:16:19,561
My 15th birthday,
you were at the compound.
331
00:16:22,607 --> 00:16:24,358
When they finish,
bring me the boy.
332
00:16:26,402 --> 00:16:29,905
The day my pet Dobermans
accidentally ate my father.
333
00:16:30,073 --> 00:16:31,365
Oh, Krieger.
334
00:16:31,532 --> 00:16:33,200
Nothing's an accident.
335
00:16:33,368 --> 00:16:34,910
Holy shit snacks.
336
00:16:35,078 --> 00:16:38,121
Krieger's one of the boys from Brazil.
Duh!
337
00:16:38,289 --> 00:16:41,375
Oh, my God, seriously, I'm sorry.
I think I need help or something.
338
00:16:41,542 --> 00:16:42,709
No shit.
339
00:16:42,877 --> 00:16:44,586
One more crack
about monster hands...
340
00:16:44,754 --> 00:16:47,422
...I promise you,
I will shoot your fat Irish faces off...
341
00:16:47,590 --> 00:16:50,634
I'm sorry, was that racist?
I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at Archer.
342
00:16:50,802 --> 00:16:53,220
I've got two perforated eardrums
and I guess I've just been...
343
00:16:54,597 --> 00:16:56,098
...getting hotboxed all day in my car.
344
00:16:56,265 --> 00:16:59,267
Shit. Which I'm trying to sell,
but fat chance now.
345
00:16:59,435 --> 00:17:02,938
I bet it smells like weed and rampage.
346
00:17:03,106 --> 00:17:05,482
Damn it,
that is classic him.
347
00:17:05,650 --> 00:17:08,110
- Ooh, do you guys have any snacks?
- Here.
348
00:17:08,277 --> 00:17:09,695
This is good, right here.
349
00:17:09,862 --> 00:17:12,364
For what, boyo?
We having a picnic?
350
00:17:12,532 --> 00:17:14,449
Oh, my God, do you have snacks?
No.
351
00:17:14,617 --> 00:17:17,244
What I have is a plane to catch.
352
00:17:17,412 --> 00:17:20,622
Yeah? To where? Some bigger mansion
somewhere else you bought...
353
00:17:20,790 --> 00:17:22,958
...with the profits
from your fake chemo drugs?
354
00:17:23,126 --> 00:17:24,167
Pretty much, yeah.
355
00:17:24,335 --> 00:17:26,461
So if you're gonna shoot me...
356
00:17:26,629 --> 00:17:29,631
Oh, don't worry, I'm gonna shoot you.
Ha, ha. No, you're not.
357
00:17:29,799 --> 00:17:31,216
You're an ISIS agent.
358
00:17:31,384 --> 00:17:33,468
You got a sense of honor,
fair play.
359
00:17:33,636 --> 00:17:34,970
Ha-ha-ha.
What?
360
00:17:35,138 --> 00:17:39,141
You obviously haven't seen my movie,
uh, Terms of Enrampagement.
361
00:17:39,308 --> 00:17:41,852
Hang on, that was lame.
You killed my men, sure.
362
00:17:42,019 --> 00:17:43,061
But they were armed.
363
00:17:43,229 --> 00:17:45,564
I'm just a sick old man in a wheelchair.
364
00:17:45,732 --> 00:17:47,649
You can't do it, boy. I know you.
365
00:17:47,817 --> 00:17:49,067
You don't know me.
Ha-ha-ha.
366
00:17:49,235 --> 00:17:51,111
I know you better than your mother.
367
00:17:51,279 --> 00:17:54,156
Who I had for three days at Dûc Quay.
368
00:17:55,074 --> 00:17:56,992
Can you, uh, go ahead
and repeat that?
369
00:17:57,160 --> 00:18:00,328
I said, I had your mother
for three days at Dûc Quay.
370
00:18:00,496 --> 00:18:04,332
And was that, hopefully,
some sort of Vietcong prison camp?
371
00:18:04,500 --> 00:18:08,086
Singles resort. Phuket, Thailand.
Whole place ran on beads.
372
00:18:08,254 --> 00:18:09,588
But let me tell you, boyo...
373
00:18:09,756 --> 00:18:13,842
...that mother of yours
found a whole new way to use them.
374
00:18:14,010 --> 00:18:16,011
To use the beads?
375
00:18:16,179 --> 00:18:17,679
Oh, yeah. Boop.
376
00:18:17,847 --> 00:18:20,932
Ugh...
And then zing.
377
00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:22,350
Like an SSP racer.
378
00:18:24,687 --> 00:18:26,229
Good times.
379
00:18:26,397 --> 00:18:27,689
Goodbye, Archer.
380
00:18:27,857 --> 00:18:31,359
Tell your mother
to give me a call sometime.
381
00:18:35,281 --> 00:18:37,908
Delaney?
Yes?
382
00:18:38,075 --> 00:18:40,368
Did you see Regis this morning?
383
00:18:40,536 --> 00:18:55,550
Yeah. Why?
384
00:19:02,892 --> 00:19:03,975
Oh, for the love of...
385
00:19:04,143 --> 00:19:06,061
Shut up. Shut up, here it comes.
386
00:19:06,229 --> 00:19:07,771
Oh, booyakasha!
387
00:19:07,939 --> 00:19:12,359
Right in the face. I swear to God,
I could watch this, like, a million times.
388
00:19:12,527 --> 00:19:15,821
I'd swear to God we already have.
Well, that's too bad, Mother.
389
00:19:15,988 --> 00:19:17,197
Booyakasha, booyakasha.
390
00:19:17,365 --> 00:19:19,491
Hey, just because
he was your boyfriend...
391
00:19:19,659 --> 00:19:20,742
What boyfriend?
392
00:19:20,910 --> 00:19:23,578
It was two weeks in Phuket,
anything goes over there.
393
00:19:23,746 --> 00:19:26,164
Zing! Ahem.
394
00:19:26,332 --> 00:19:27,582
Wildly inappropriate.
395
00:19:27,750 --> 00:19:30,210
Seriously, Pam.
Okay, Clone Wars.
396
00:19:30,419 --> 00:19:32,420
Zing.
And, Mother, we had a deal.
397
00:19:32,588 --> 00:19:34,965
I supply the mimosas
and bagels and lox...
398
00:19:35,132 --> 00:19:38,844
...and you people shut up and ingest them
and watch Terms of Enrampagement.
399
00:19:40,221 --> 00:19:42,389
Which, obviously, a working title.
We have watched it.
400
00:19:42,557 --> 00:19:45,350
Yeah, every Friday
for the past three months.
401
00:19:45,518 --> 00:19:47,185
I'm not complaining.
See?
402
00:19:47,353 --> 00:19:50,188
Twelve straight weeks
and Pam's still on Team Live Badass.
403
00:19:50,356 --> 00:19:53,275
Yeah, and Team Live Badass?
That's the best you could come up with?
404
00:19:53,442 --> 00:19:57,445
Well, Lana, since you already had dibs
on Team I Have an Oversized Vagina...
405
00:19:57,613 --> 00:19:58,864
- Hey, shut up.
- You shut up.
406
00:19:59,031 --> 00:20:02,284
And everybody else shut up
and watch Terms of Enrampagement.
407
00:20:03,619 --> 00:20:06,454
Hey, come on.
Why don't you call it Magnum, P. U.?
408
00:20:06,622 --> 00:20:08,790
It's a working title. Idiots.
409
00:20:08,958 --> 00:20:10,750
Liked him better when he had cancer.
410
00:20:10,918 --> 00:20:14,087
First of all, what the shit, Mother?
And second of all, too bad...
411
00:20:14,255 --> 00:20:17,299
...because the doctor says
my cancer is in remission.
412
00:20:17,466 --> 00:20:19,259
Seriously, what is cancer?
413
00:20:19,427 --> 00:20:22,304
So I'll probably never get
any sort of cancer again, ever.
414
00:20:22,471 --> 00:20:24,806
So shut up and watch my movie.
415
00:20:24,974 --> 00:20:28,435
For which I really need a better title.
Oh. How about Citizen Dickbag?
416
00:20:29,312 --> 00:20:30,937
Snark Victory?
417
00:20:32,982 --> 00:20:33,982
Wait. I got it.
418
00:20:34,150 --> 00:20:36,401
Casablumpkin.
33360
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