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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,628 --> 00:00:04,172 Torvald Utne. - The Olympic shot-putter? 2 00:00:04,339 --> 00:00:06,925 The chairman of the UN Intelligence Committee. 3 00:00:07,091 --> 00:00:09,844 Do you not even skim the briefings in your inbox? 4 00:00:10,011 --> 00:00:13,389 I have an inbox? - Utne decides which spy agency... 5 00:00:13,556 --> 00:00:16,434 ...gets the insanely lucrative UN contract. 6 00:00:16,601 --> 00:00:18,937 And as you may or... 7 00:00:19,896 --> 00:00:22,273 ...probably don't know, for six years running... 8 00:00:22,440 --> 00:00:24,943 ...the contract has gone to ODIN. 9 00:00:25,109 --> 00:00:27,779 Ugh. The Organization of Douche Bags In... In... 10 00:00:27,946 --> 00:00:30,615 Wait, I had something. - Douche-baggery notwithstanding... 11 00:00:30,782 --> 00:00:33,451 Nowheresville. - ...their ground floor isn't a laundromat. 12 00:00:33,618 --> 00:00:36,746 Wash-and-fold, technically. - ISIS needs that UN contract. 13 00:00:36,913 --> 00:00:40,208 So I am going to woo Mr. Torvald Utne... 14 00:00:40,375 --> 00:00:41,459 Gross. 15 00:00:41,626 --> 00:00:43,795 ...with a dinner party. Tonight. 16 00:00:43,962 --> 00:00:46,256 And you're uninviting me in advance. - Normally, yes. 17 00:00:46,506 --> 00:00:50,009 But this party is different. And very important... 18 00:00:50,176 --> 00:00:52,637 ...so absolutely nothing can go wrong. 19 00:00:52,804 --> 00:00:55,306 Then we better keep Dr. Bellows away from Jeannie... 20 00:00:55,473 --> 00:00:57,058 No, no dates. - I Dream of Jeannie. 21 00:00:57,225 --> 00:00:59,769 No one is bringing a date, so don't you bring a date. 22 00:00:59,936 --> 00:01:02,647 I don't wanna get there and be the only one without a date. 23 00:01:02,814 --> 00:01:06,568 And I don't want another one of your sullen whores using my medicine cabinet... 24 00:01:06,734 --> 00:01:09,571 ...like a Pez dispenser. 25 00:01:09,737 --> 00:01:12,448 Peggy, you will probably kill me for this... 26 00:01:12,615 --> 00:01:15,451 ...but, senator, we now have a subway museum... 27 00:01:17,495 --> 00:01:20,623 If... Are you still big into trains? 28 00:01:20,790 --> 00:01:24,335 That wasn't her fault. Who puts OxyContin in a Xanax bottle? 29 00:01:24,502 --> 00:01:27,046 People with servants, idiot. - If they steal pills... 30 00:01:27,213 --> 00:01:31,467 ...how does it help to switch the labels? - Because they can't read English. 31 00:01:31,634 --> 00:01:35,138 Ha, ha. I'm gonna leave you to think about that whole line of reasoning... 32 00:01:35,305 --> 00:01:37,432 You think. - And what scheme you're hatching... 33 00:01:37,599 --> 00:01:40,476 ...for this dinner party. - There's no scheme-hatchery. 34 00:01:40,643 --> 00:01:41,853 Hello? 35 00:01:43,938 --> 00:01:47,692 - Do you mind? It's the caterer. - Right. Okay, sure. 36 00:01:47,859 --> 00:01:49,979 - Your instructions are clear? - Ja. No problem. 37 00:01:51,487 --> 00:01:53,698 Oh, I have other call. Yeah, okay. 38 00:01:53,865 --> 00:01:55,366 - Hello? Oh. - Hello? 39 00:01:55,533 --> 00:01:58,494 Da, da. - So your instructions are clear? 40 00:01:58,661 --> 00:02:01,205 Da. - Excellent. 41 00:02:01,372 --> 00:02:05,335 - Uta, get dressed, we work tonight. - But, Mani, what about The Fantasticks? 42 00:02:05,501 --> 00:02:07,587 Tomorrow, liebchen, I promise, but to... 43 00:02:09,005 --> 00:02:12,216 You brought this ridiculous thing. - Is it so ridiculous... 44 00:02:12,383 --> 00:02:17,221 ...to ready my body for the baby? - Uta. Please do not start this. 45 00:02:17,388 --> 00:02:19,557 Just ready your body for work, hmm? 46 00:02:19,724 --> 00:02:21,559 Fine. What is the job? 47 00:02:21,726 --> 00:02:25,104 Two jobs. The first, we make a big phony attempt... 48 00:02:25,271 --> 00:02:29,192 ...to kill Torvald Utne. - Okay. And the second? 49 00:02:30,234 --> 00:02:31,861 We kill Torvald Utne. 50 00:03:03,893 --> 00:03:05,978 So your instructions are clear? 51 00:03:06,145 --> 00:03:09,899 Drinks and fish balls. You ring first bell for dinner. 52 00:03:10,066 --> 00:03:14,278 And on second bell, I come out, all John Wooey... 53 00:03:14,445 --> 00:03:17,115 ...screaming crazy and shooting blanks. 54 00:03:17,281 --> 00:03:20,827 Then I throw myself in front of Utne, shielding him with my supple body... 55 00:03:20,993 --> 00:03:23,788 ...as you're gunned down by ISIS agents. 56 00:03:23,955 --> 00:03:26,290 Who are also shooting blanks. 57 00:03:26,833 --> 00:03:28,543 Mm-hm. - And loud ones. 58 00:03:28,710 --> 00:03:32,714 Because for Utne to buy it, everyone must act surprised. 59 00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:35,633 Oh, I'm sure they will. - Yeah, me too. 60 00:03:35,800 --> 00:03:38,302 Mani, I have a bad feeling for this. 61 00:03:38,469 --> 00:03:41,222 Why? Only I will have real bullets. 62 00:03:41,389 --> 00:03:43,725 This is taking chocolate from a baby. 63 00:03:43,891 --> 00:03:46,144 Oh, no, we won't give our baby chocolate. 64 00:03:46,310 --> 00:03:48,896 Ugh. - He can have carob. 65 00:03:49,063 --> 00:03:51,941 Thanks for inviting us to your swanky dinner party, Ms. Archer. 66 00:03:52,108 --> 00:03:54,402 Yeah, I could get used to this. 67 00:03:54,569 --> 00:03:58,489 Don't. You're only here because I may need you to take one for the team. 68 00:03:58,656 --> 00:04:02,452 - Torvald is an incorrigible poon hound. - Ha, ha. 69 00:04:02,618 --> 00:04:05,621 - Those are enormous in size. - Oh, well... 70 00:04:05,788 --> 00:04:10,001 Uh, thank you. Kind of. - May I please cup one in my hand? 71 00:04:10,168 --> 00:04:12,754 Ooh. See, here's the thing... - We're actually together. 72 00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:15,131 Cyril, go get some gravlax. 73 00:04:15,298 --> 00:04:18,009 Torvald, feel free to cup anything in the room. 74 00:04:18,176 --> 00:04:21,262 Uh... Oh, you were talking about my guns. 75 00:04:21,429 --> 00:04:23,181 Strange that you wear them to a party. 76 00:04:23,347 --> 00:04:26,142 Normally I wouldn't, but Malory... - But that's ISIS for you. 77 00:04:26,309 --> 00:04:28,019 Always primed and ready for action. 78 00:04:30,271 --> 00:04:33,191 - This is good to know. - Yeah, how about that? 79 00:04:33,357 --> 00:04:37,528 Which is why you should consider ISIS for the UN contract. 80 00:04:37,695 --> 00:04:40,782 Our agents are highly trained in many disciplines. 81 00:04:42,825 --> 00:04:45,119 Like Krav Maga, for instance. - My arm, my arm. 82 00:04:45,286 --> 00:04:47,038 You're breaking my arm. - Lana. 83 00:04:47,205 --> 00:04:51,042 Oh, I'm sorry. Did that hurt? - Yes, it hurt. What is wrong with you? 84 00:04:51,209 --> 00:04:55,046 Nothing but too much enthusiasm for the opportunity to serve the UN. 85 00:04:55,213 --> 00:04:57,173 Oh, and hands like the Truckasaurus. - Hey. 86 00:04:57,340 --> 00:05:01,052 Gravlax, anyone? - No. No gravlax. I need painkillers. 87 00:05:01,219 --> 00:05:03,429 Cyril, in my medicine cabinet... Wait, no. - Aah. 88 00:05:05,223 --> 00:05:08,059 I have to get it myself, just right after I get that. 89 00:05:09,519 --> 00:05:10,561 Hello. 90 00:05:10,728 --> 00:05:12,438 You're late. - What is that smell? 91 00:05:12,605 --> 00:05:13,815 Gravlax and failure. 92 00:05:14,232 --> 00:05:16,567 I think Lana just broke Torvalds hand. 93 00:05:16,734 --> 00:05:19,821 Truckasaurus. Ha, ha! - And we won't win that contract if... 94 00:05:19,987 --> 00:05:22,573 Who on God's green earth dressed you? 95 00:05:22,740 --> 00:05:26,118 Nobody, that's why I'm late. Woodhouse just disappeared. 96 00:05:26,285 --> 00:05:27,578 Only temporarily, sir. 97 00:05:27,745 --> 00:05:30,998 Why are you here? - Actually sir, I'm with Carina. 98 00:05:31,165 --> 00:05:32,583 Who? - Carina. 99 00:05:32,750 --> 00:05:34,377 Ugh. - I changed it again. 100 00:05:34,544 --> 00:05:37,421 I feel that Carina better captures my sensual womanhood. 101 00:05:37,588 --> 00:05:39,632 Yeah, she so totally does. 102 00:05:39,799 --> 00:05:41,801 You said no dates. - I said no such thing. 103 00:05:41,968 --> 00:05:44,887 Well, your mouth did. - Well, your mouth better get over there... 104 00:05:45,054 --> 00:05:46,764 ...and make Torvald happy. - Um, phrasing? 105 00:05:46,931 --> 00:05:50,518 Regale him with exciting tales of ISIS exploits. 106 00:05:50,685 --> 00:05:54,272 Take his mind off Lana's huge, Johnny Benchian fingers. 107 00:05:54,438 --> 00:05:56,941 Can we get off my fingers? - Yeah, they are pretty big. 108 00:05:57,108 --> 00:05:59,148 First time I've heard you complain. - Hi-ho! Ha, ha. 109 00:05:59,277 --> 00:06:02,113 Seriously, who wants gravlax? - Sterling, go. Regale him. 110 00:06:02,280 --> 00:06:04,657 - I think he's already being regaled. - Meatballs! 111 00:06:04,824 --> 00:06:06,367 Oh, for... Torvald. 112 00:06:06,534 --> 00:06:08,369 Bet you get that a lot, huh, Torvie? 113 00:06:08,536 --> 00:06:10,663 Swedish meatballs. 114 00:06:10,830 --> 00:06:12,915 Get away from me, you disgusting woman. 115 00:06:13,082 --> 00:06:15,918 Wow. So even Pam got a date. - A man, even. 116 00:06:16,085 --> 00:06:19,213 But suave master-spy, Sterling Archer, stands alone. 117 00:06:19,380 --> 00:06:20,965 Just like the cheese. 118 00:06:21,132 --> 00:06:24,218 I have a... - And a very handsome cheese, at that. 119 00:06:24,385 --> 00:06:26,145 I don't even know how you got out, Woodhouse. 120 00:06:26,304 --> 00:06:27,972 Alone. - And I do have a date. 121 00:06:28,139 --> 00:06:30,725 You do? Where is she? - She is parking. 122 00:06:30,892 --> 00:06:32,810 Oh, yeah? What's she driving? A Snuffleupagus? 123 00:06:34,437 --> 00:06:35,980 Uh, oh, wait. Uh, with all that... 124 00:06:36,147 --> 00:06:38,649 ...sexy European lingerie modeling... - Mm-hm? 125 00:06:38,816 --> 00:06:42,320 ...to pay for her European med school that she's going to... 126 00:06:42,486 --> 00:06:44,739 ...she probably never had time to learn to drive. 127 00:06:44,906 --> 00:06:47,074 She sounds fabulous. 128 00:06:47,241 --> 00:06:50,745 Gravlax? - Thanks, no. I'm allergic to cat piss. 129 00:06:50,912 --> 00:06:52,330 Go away. 130 00:06:52,580 --> 00:06:55,166 - So your instructions are clear? - Oh. 131 00:06:55,333 --> 00:06:59,003 Why must you micromanage everything? Yeah, yeah, okay. 132 00:07:01,380 --> 00:07:03,716 You know what second-hand smoke does to a fetus. 133 00:07:03,883 --> 00:07:06,260 Uta, after we kill Utne... 134 00:07:06,427 --> 00:07:10,264 ...we need to have a very long and serious talk. 135 00:07:10,431 --> 00:07:12,683 No. I need a painkiller, not a... 136 00:07:12,850 --> 00:07:15,269 Torvald. - What is that? A calcium supplement? 137 00:07:15,436 --> 00:07:19,023 Trust me, dear, these work wonders. - Okay. 138 00:07:19,190 --> 00:07:20,608 But what I have seen... 139 00:07:20,775 --> 00:07:24,111 ...ISIS is a distant second to ODIN. Very distant. 140 00:07:24,278 --> 00:07:25,947 What about the groundbreaking work... 141 00:07:26,113 --> 00:07:29,200 ...Dr. Krieger is doing for ISIS in our Applied Research Division? 142 00:07:29,367 --> 00:07:31,994 Yeah, tell him about the sex-robot. - The what? 143 00:07:32,161 --> 00:07:34,872 Yes... The what? - I call him Fister Roboto. 144 00:07:35,039 --> 00:07:37,375 But it doesn't just fist. Tell him. - Pam! 145 00:07:37,541 --> 00:07:41,170 He's a fully integrated multi-fetish artificial being. 146 00:07:41,337 --> 00:07:45,967 That is the most disgusting... - Shut up. Shut, shut. And the best part... 147 00:07:46,133 --> 00:07:50,554 ...is that he's learning. - ISIS clearly is not the agency for us. 148 00:07:50,721 --> 00:07:52,890 Rotten gravlax, sex-bots, and, uh... 149 00:07:53,057 --> 00:07:55,518 ...except for the Negress, the women are... 150 00:07:55,685 --> 00:07:58,646 Willing to do whatever it takes. 151 00:07:58,813 --> 00:08:01,399 Still gross. - And such rudeness. 152 00:08:01,565 --> 00:08:05,236 Fister Roboto wouldn't take that. - He's just too damn sensitive. 153 00:08:05,403 --> 00:08:08,739 As also am I. So if you will excuse... 154 00:08:08,906 --> 00:08:13,661 There, there. Let that calcium citrate seep into your bones. 155 00:08:13,828 --> 00:08:15,538 What about Trinette? She said that? 156 00:08:15,705 --> 00:08:18,708 How about Jade? Oh, no, never mind. 157 00:08:18,874 --> 00:08:22,378 Destiny? No, she's not passable. With that Adam's apple... 158 00:08:22,545 --> 00:08:24,672 ...she looks like she swallowed a Rubik's Cube. 159 00:08:24,839 --> 00:08:26,090 - Excuse me, sir. - I... 160 00:08:29,760 --> 00:08:32,596 You are looking for a date? - Are you working? 161 00:08:32,763 --> 00:08:35,266 Mm. You could say that, yes. 162 00:08:35,433 --> 00:08:39,437 Then we need to lock down your cover story. And, uh... 163 00:08:39,603 --> 00:08:41,897 ...I need to hit an ATM. 164 00:08:44,775 --> 00:08:46,694 Torvald, please, don't go yet. 165 00:08:46,861 --> 00:08:49,405 You haven't even tried the fish balls. - No need. 166 00:08:49,572 --> 00:08:53,284 There is plenty of fishiness going on at ISIS without your balls. 167 00:08:53,451 --> 00:08:55,119 Maybe I should go say something. 168 00:08:55,286 --> 00:08:58,289 Where's the damn fish balls, already? I could kill for some food. 169 00:08:58,456 --> 00:09:00,458 Sure it wouldn't be the first time. - Lana. 170 00:09:00,624 --> 00:09:03,085 No, I just meant like she literally killed somebody. 171 00:09:03,252 --> 00:09:05,212 Then ate their corpse. I saw where you were going. 172 00:09:05,379 --> 00:09:06,422 You know... 173 00:09:06,589 --> 00:09:08,966 When I served in the King's African Rifles... 174 00:09:09,133 --> 00:09:12,720 ...the local Zambezi tribesmen called human flesh... 175 00:09:12,887 --> 00:09:15,806 ..."long pig." 176 00:09:16,474 --> 00:09:18,434 Never much cared for it. 177 00:09:18,601 --> 00:09:20,311 Torvald, at least stay for dinner. 178 00:09:20,478 --> 00:09:23,814 I think you'll be very surprised by... - I detest surprises. 179 00:09:23,981 --> 00:09:26,901 Which is why the contract will remain with ODIN. 180 00:09:27,068 --> 00:09:28,444 Mani, do something. 181 00:09:28,611 --> 00:09:30,237 Utne is leaving. 182 00:09:30,404 --> 00:09:32,823 Okay, okay, we go ahead of schedule. 183 00:09:32,990 --> 00:09:34,950 Find some Tupperware, we take food to go. 184 00:09:35,117 --> 00:09:37,161 But you promised me Ruby Foo's. 185 00:09:37,328 --> 00:09:40,331 Yeah, I also promised you a baby. How's that working out for you? 186 00:09:40,498 --> 00:09:44,627 Hey, does that cook seem weird? - Normal-weird or German-weird? 187 00:09:44,794 --> 00:09:46,796 Now, good night, and good... 188 00:09:46,962 --> 00:09:48,839 Evening, you... 189 00:09:49,006 --> 00:09:51,175 ...beautiful girl. 190 00:09:51,342 --> 00:09:53,677 Hello. - You're not, um, leaving, are you? 191 00:09:53,844 --> 00:09:57,431 No, not if you are staying, Miss...? 192 00:09:57,598 --> 00:10:00,184 Oh, um... Yup. - Hübsch. 193 00:10:00,351 --> 00:10:03,062 Elke Hübsch. - A pleasure, my dear. 194 00:10:03,229 --> 00:10:06,315 I am Torvald... - Utne, I know. 195 00:10:06,482 --> 00:10:10,194 I am a great admirer. - You know he's not the shot-putter, right? 196 00:10:10,361 --> 00:10:13,197 Of course he is not the shot-putter. 197 00:10:13,364 --> 00:10:15,449 But I am sure he is very strong. 198 00:10:15,616 --> 00:10:18,702 Ha, ha. Unlike these drinks. Come, my dear... 199 00:10:18,869 --> 00:10:21,455 ...let us find something potable. 200 00:10:21,622 --> 00:10:25,543 Whoa. Wait a minute. Hey, Utne. Utne! Would you shut up? 201 00:10:25,709 --> 00:10:27,589 We just need to keep Torvald happy until dinner. 202 00:10:27,753 --> 00:10:30,965 And what about my happiness, Mother? 203 00:10:31,132 --> 00:10:33,717 Well? - Oh, was that not rhetorical? 204 00:10:38,556 --> 00:10:40,474 The Needle? Why is she here? 205 00:10:40,641 --> 00:10:44,270 Oh, that Russian prick. He sent two teams again. 206 00:10:44,436 --> 00:10:48,065 And if the Needle kills Utne, we won't even get our per diem. 207 00:10:48,232 --> 00:10:50,234 But what if you kill them both? 208 00:10:50,401 --> 00:10:52,736 Oh. Yeah, I could do this. 209 00:10:52,903 --> 00:10:54,989 - Hey, help. - Ah! Help with what, sir? 210 00:10:55,156 --> 00:10:58,826 No, I was addressing you as "help." What's the story on those fish balls? 211 00:10:58,993 --> 00:11:02,163 Coming right out. - Hurry it up. All I've had today is, like... 212 00:11:02,329 --> 00:11:04,582 ...six gummy bears and some Scotch. 213 00:11:06,083 --> 00:11:09,503 This is why I don't get you nice things. - Not that. Him. Uta, that was Duchess. 214 00:11:09,670 --> 00:11:13,549 That was Duchess? - Yeah, the deadliest agent there is. 215 00:11:14,049 --> 00:11:15,968 Oh, my God. 216 00:11:16,135 --> 00:11:17,845 I can't believe they fell for that. 217 00:11:18,012 --> 00:11:20,431 But if he's on the plan of Frau Archer... 218 00:11:20,598 --> 00:11:24,935 What if her plan is a big fat set-up? What if they mean to kill us? 219 00:11:25,102 --> 00:11:27,688 Oh! Mani, the baby. - Ah. 220 00:11:27,855 --> 00:11:30,691 Okay. So now we go to Plan Manfred. 221 00:11:30,858 --> 00:11:33,903 And then Ruby Foo's. - Well, we will see. 222 00:11:34,069 --> 00:11:37,698 Really? A European lingerie model. 223 00:11:37,865 --> 00:11:41,035 Only to pay for European med school. Ha, ha. 224 00:11:41,202 --> 00:11:44,705 Like to get a physical from her. - Or with her. Ha, ha. 225 00:11:44,872 --> 00:11:47,124 Ow, ow, ow! - I wonder if Dr. Panty Model knows... 226 00:11:47,291 --> 00:11:49,710 ...how many pounds it takes to snap a collarbone? 227 00:11:49,877 --> 00:11:53,631 She probably uses the metric system. - Yeah, what do they use? Kilowatts? 228 00:11:53,797 --> 00:11:58,010 No, in this case it would be pascals. - Ugh. Hey, Europe, be gayer. 229 00:11:58,177 --> 00:12:00,888 Lana. Release him. - As you wish. 230 00:12:01,055 --> 00:12:05,142 I find your lack of faith disturbing. - I find your mannish hands disturbing. 231 00:12:05,309 --> 00:12:06,810 I think they're kind of sexy. 232 00:12:06,977 --> 00:12:09,980 Excuse me? - They're fingers, Pam, not kielbasas. 233 00:12:10,147 --> 00:12:13,817 But keep them limbered up. I have a big surprise planned for dinner... 234 00:12:13,984 --> 00:12:16,862 ...and I need you ready, locked and loaded. 235 00:12:17,029 --> 00:12:21,825 Yeah, so do you maybe want to let us in on your little scheme-hatchery? 236 00:12:22,326 --> 00:12:23,327 No. 237 00:12:23,494 --> 00:12:26,080 Oh, if I were 20 years younger. 238 00:12:26,247 --> 00:12:28,540 I can make you feel like you are. - Mm. 239 00:12:28,707 --> 00:12:31,627 I would like, I think, that very much. 240 00:12:31,794 --> 00:12:34,088 Well then go find an ATM, - I'm sorry? 241 00:12:34,255 --> 00:12:36,924 Oh, me too. I must leave for a moment. 242 00:12:37,675 --> 00:12:40,177 Excuse me. - Yeah, sorry, don't mind me. 243 00:12:40,344 --> 00:12:43,806 Hey, are you having a good time? - Oh, I am. Ha, ha. 244 00:12:43,973 --> 00:12:47,851 Good to hear. Please excuse us. Mm-hm. 245 00:12:48,018 --> 00:12:49,937 Keep her out of the medicine cabinet. 246 00:12:50,104 --> 00:12:52,815 One more dead body in here, and that bitch Trudy Beekman... 247 00:12:52,982 --> 00:12:55,526 ...will have me right back in front of the co-op board. 248 00:12:55,693 --> 00:12:57,945 You don't get along with your neighbors anywhere. 249 00:12:58,112 --> 00:13:00,948 Who could with a woman who wallpapered her guest bathroom... 250 00:13:01,115 --> 00:13:02,866 ...with vintage New Yorker covers? 251 00:13:03,325 --> 00:13:05,619 Yes, major. I am in position... 252 00:13:05,786 --> 00:13:08,205 ...and ready to eliminate the target. 253 00:13:08,372 --> 00:13:10,958 Excellent. ODIN will find it much harder... 254 00:13:11,125 --> 00:13:13,711 ...to bribe a dead man for the UN contract. 255 00:13:14,169 --> 00:13:16,380 And I will find it much more enjoyable... 256 00:13:16,547 --> 00:13:19,133 ...to work with the woman who runs ISIS. 257 00:13:19,300 --> 00:13:23,637 What do you mean "with"? - Against. Obviously. Duh. 258 00:13:23,804 --> 00:13:26,515 Obviously. And so I still think... 259 00:13:26,682 --> 00:13:28,350 ...you should let me kill everybody here. 260 00:13:28,517 --> 00:13:33,772 Nyet. Under no circumstances are you to harm the hostess. Who, um... 261 00:13:33,939 --> 00:13:37,099 - Whose name I have no way of knowing. - Hey. What the hell are you doing? 262 00:13:37,234 --> 00:13:39,069 Uh, Botox. 263 00:13:39,236 --> 00:13:41,071 Not from the medicine cabinet. No. 264 00:13:41,238 --> 00:13:43,907 Don't use this. She switches all the labels on her medicine. 265 00:13:44,074 --> 00:13:48,037 Why? - I think there's, like, a racial component. 266 00:13:48,203 --> 00:13:50,539 But for all we know, this could be insulin. 267 00:13:50,706 --> 00:13:53,417 Oh, your mother is a diabetic? - How should I know? 268 00:13:53,584 --> 00:13:56,086 Why don't you just pour it on everybody's? 269 00:13:56,253 --> 00:14:00,341 We are not to harm the hostess. 270 00:14:00,507 --> 00:14:02,259 But her I want to poison most of all. 271 00:14:02,426 --> 00:14:05,763 Are you lazy Huns ready, or what? - Oh. Ha, ha. Hello, yep. 272 00:14:05,929 --> 00:14:09,808 Good. So on the second bell... - I come out shooting blanks. See? 273 00:14:09,975 --> 00:14:12,353 Uta is just, uh, polishing the gun. 274 00:14:12,519 --> 00:14:16,774 Give me that. Some idiot dropped a fish ball on my Azerbaijani rug. 275 00:14:18,776 --> 00:14:20,694 I am that idiot. - Ach. 276 00:14:20,861 --> 00:14:23,781 Why are you so immature? 277 00:14:23,947 --> 00:14:25,449 I'm 19. 278 00:14:25,616 --> 00:14:27,618 Elke? ls everything all right? 279 00:14:27,785 --> 00:14:29,453 Wunderbar, Torvald. 280 00:14:29,620 --> 00:14:32,247 How are you? - I am fantastic, my dear. 281 00:14:32,414 --> 00:14:35,751 Those calcium supplements are amazing. 282 00:14:35,918 --> 00:14:38,212 You're gonna need some calcium, after I... 283 00:14:38,379 --> 00:14:40,672 ...do something bad to your bones. 284 00:14:40,839 --> 00:14:42,199 - Hello? - Hello? 285 00:14:42,341 --> 00:14:44,301 Can you hear me? Come in. - What? 286 00:14:44,468 --> 00:14:46,637 Wait. What the hell? - What is the frequency? 287 00:14:46,804 --> 00:14:49,640 Kenneth? - Turn off. Turn off. Turn off. 288 00:14:49,807 --> 00:14:52,893 What? I can't hear you, tiny man. 289 00:14:53,060 --> 00:14:56,772 Oh, great. Thanks, Mother, for replacing the baby aspirin with LSD. 290 00:14:57,147 --> 00:14:58,774 God, that is just... 291 00:14:58,941 --> 00:15:00,651 ...hmm, classic her. 292 00:15:03,112 --> 00:15:04,696 Places, everyone. 293 00:15:04,863 --> 00:15:06,907 - Is everyone comfy? - Relatively. 294 00:15:07,074 --> 00:15:08,283 Sterling and Lana? 295 00:15:08,450 --> 00:15:11,328 You both have a clear line of sight to the kitchen? 296 00:15:11,495 --> 00:15:12,996 Yes? - Sure, I think so. 297 00:15:13,163 --> 00:15:15,290 Well, then let's eat. First bell. 298 00:15:15,457 --> 00:15:17,793 Wow. Forgot how much I hated that. 299 00:15:17,960 --> 00:15:19,837 Oh, that's right. 300 00:15:20,003 --> 00:15:23,590 I kept it on the nightstand to wake Nanny whenever Sterling wet the bed. 301 00:15:23,757 --> 00:15:25,134 Ha-ha-ha! - I... Mother! 302 00:15:26,802 --> 00:15:28,262 Sissy bed-wetter. 303 00:15:28,429 --> 00:15:32,057 Wait, whose bed? - It was always "don't ask, don't tell." 304 00:15:32,224 --> 00:15:35,018 - Woodhouse. What are you doing? - Uh, sitting down, sir. 305 00:15:35,185 --> 00:15:37,271 - What, at the table? Like people? - Sterling. 306 00:15:37,438 --> 00:15:39,940 Sterling! - What? Look, he thinks he's people. 307 00:15:40,107 --> 00:15:43,193 This Archer is a gigantic douche bag. 308 00:15:43,360 --> 00:15:44,945 Oh, Torvald. 309 00:15:45,863 --> 00:15:48,365 Who cares about him? - Oh. 310 00:15:48,532 --> 00:15:50,451 Woodhouse, dear, please have a seat. 311 00:15:50,617 --> 00:15:52,453 - Very kind of you, ma'am. - Shut up. 312 00:15:52,619 --> 00:15:55,372 Torvald, a toast? - Sure, go crazy. 313 00:15:55,539 --> 00:15:57,458 - Oh... - Then, um... 314 00:15:58,459 --> 00:16:00,377 - Hooray. Dig in. - Wow. 315 00:16:00,544 --> 00:16:03,714 And what is this we're eating? - It smells vaguely poisonous. 316 00:16:03,881 --> 00:16:06,383 It does smell vaguely poisonous. 317 00:16:06,550 --> 00:16:09,720 Are you sure she has the right plate? - Pretty sure. 318 00:16:09,887 --> 00:16:12,097 Oh, Uta. - What? I am pretty sure. 319 00:16:13,599 --> 00:16:16,602 Don't worry, this is a normal smell. 320 00:16:16,768 --> 00:16:19,813 This is called Janssons frestelse. - Frestel...? 321 00:16:19,980 --> 00:16:24,067 Yes, frestelse. It means "temptation." 322 00:16:24,234 --> 00:16:27,905 Oh, Torvald. I am very tempted. 323 00:16:28,071 --> 00:16:32,910 Yes, and I am tempted to give ISIS the UN contract, Malory. 324 00:16:33,076 --> 00:16:35,412 Hmm? I mean, you are? 325 00:16:35,579 --> 00:16:38,916 Well, it depends on your frestelse. - Mmm. 326 00:16:39,082 --> 00:16:40,667 Tell me, my dear, is it tempting? 327 00:16:42,586 --> 00:16:44,505 Elke, what is the matter? Are you...? 328 00:16:46,507 --> 00:16:48,091 Um... - What? 329 00:16:48,258 --> 00:16:50,511 That's the wrong plate, Uta. 330 00:16:50,677 --> 00:16:51,803 Uta. 331 00:16:51,970 --> 00:16:53,555 That's how you talk. 332 00:16:53,722 --> 00:16:56,099 Perfidy. - No, Torvald, there's no perfidy. 333 00:16:56,266 --> 00:16:59,937 You poison my food over a contract? - Torvald, I swear I didn't... 334 00:17:00,103 --> 00:17:03,524 When I am finished with ISIS, you won't be able to get a contract... 335 00:17:03,690 --> 00:17:05,984 ...for a pre-paid mobile phone. - No, no! 336 00:17:06,151 --> 00:17:10,113 I will tear you down brick by perfidious brick. 337 00:17:12,950 --> 00:17:15,285 It's okay. - Aah! 338 00:17:15,452 --> 00:17:17,412 It's okay, they're just blanks. 339 00:17:17,579 --> 00:17:19,414 Oh. - Well, see, you say that. 340 00:17:19,581 --> 00:17:23,293 But they were blanks. Weren't they? - Uh, only if the back of his skull picked... 341 00:17:23,460 --> 00:17:25,796 ...that exact moment to explode outwards. - What? 342 00:17:25,963 --> 00:17:27,089 - Ugh! - Oh, my God. 343 00:17:27,256 --> 00:17:29,800 - Damn it. Where are those Germans? - What? 344 00:17:30,884 --> 00:17:32,636 I should not do this in my condition. 345 00:17:32,803 --> 00:17:36,640 What condition? Your only condition is that you are a stupid crazy girl. 346 00:17:36,807 --> 00:17:40,310 Do not speak to me like a child, Manfred. I hate when you do that. 347 00:17:40,477 --> 00:17:41,728 I think you like it. Ja. 348 00:17:41,895 --> 00:17:45,649 Because I think you have some serious and unresolved issues with your father. 349 00:17:45,816 --> 00:17:48,318 Yeah? And maybe that is why I date... 350 00:17:48,485 --> 00:17:50,404 ...a wrinkled old man like you. 351 00:17:52,573 --> 00:17:54,491 Wow. - I didn't mean that. 352 00:17:54,658 --> 00:17:57,452 No, no, it's okay. I think we both knew it. - Oh, Mani. 353 00:17:57,619 --> 00:18:00,455 Just strange to hear it out loud. 354 00:18:02,583 --> 00:18:05,836 Oh, for shit's sake. - And they didn't do one dish. 355 00:18:06,003 --> 00:18:08,505 This is funny to you? - I ate a bunch of that LSD... 356 00:18:08,672 --> 00:18:11,216 ...you had labeled as baby Aspirin. - That was baby Aspirin. 357 00:18:11,383 --> 00:18:12,843 - Uh. - Hey, guys? 358 00:18:13,010 --> 00:18:14,261 Wait, what? - What, uh...'? 359 00:18:14,428 --> 00:18:16,972 What's the plan here? - I shall fetch a rug. 360 00:18:17,139 --> 00:18:21,101 No you will not. That rug was a gift from the Azeri Khan himself. 361 00:18:22,144 --> 00:18:25,272 And besides, we're not going far. 362 00:18:26,648 --> 00:18:29,776 Is that hard to do? With those big old ballpark frankenfingers? 363 00:18:29,943 --> 00:18:32,362 Shut up. 364 00:18:32,529 --> 00:18:34,531 Hurry, the Beekmans will be back any time. 365 00:18:34,698 --> 00:18:36,199 And nobody touch anything. 366 00:18:36,366 --> 00:18:38,285 God, Cyril, would you go? 367 00:18:38,452 --> 00:18:42,456 Unh. I should be carrying her. - Cyril, I paid her, I get to carry her corpse. 368 00:18:42,623 --> 00:18:45,792 - See? Just look at this bathroom. - I kind of like it. 369 00:18:45,959 --> 00:18:47,961 Exactly. All right, drop them there... 370 00:18:48,128 --> 00:18:50,672 ...next to that awful Louis Quinze repro. 371 00:18:52,382 --> 00:18:55,927 Now then. We want this to look like a classic hooker-murder-suicide... 372 00:18:56,094 --> 00:18:58,555 ...so, Cyril, take Sterling's gun... 373 00:18:58,722 --> 00:19:01,224 - ...and pump a round into his prostitute. - Wait, what? 374 00:19:01,391 --> 00:19:04,394 Everyone shoots the chippy. That way, we're all in it together. 375 00:19:04,561 --> 00:19:07,230 Think of it as a team-building exercise. 376 00:19:07,397 --> 00:19:11,276 - ODIN gets to go on Outward Bound. - ODIN can suck it. Now shoot. 377 00:19:11,443 --> 00:19:12,527 Oh, Jesus. 378 00:19:14,154 --> 00:19:15,989 - You're next. - Cyril, that was pathetic. 379 00:19:16,156 --> 00:19:19,493 - Come on. Everybody shoots. - Hey, I wanna go. Barn! 380 00:19:20,243 --> 00:19:22,723 Now, Sterling, drop your gun between the bodies, and... 381 00:19:22,871 --> 00:19:26,166 No. Have you never seen CSI? This is already, like, Clue Town. 382 00:19:26,333 --> 00:19:29,252 - Not for long. Dr. Krieger, dear? - What? Oh. 383 00:19:29,419 --> 00:19:32,714 Cyril, call 911 from their phone and leave it off the hook... 384 00:19:32,881 --> 00:19:35,634 - ...and, Sterling. - But this gun, it was a gift. 385 00:19:35,801 --> 00:19:38,428 Oh, please. Nobody gives you gifts. 386 00:19:38,595 --> 00:19:40,055 You don't know. 387 00:19:40,222 --> 00:19:43,100 Whatever you say, dear. Dr. Krieger? 388 00:19:46,019 --> 00:19:48,105 - Now, then... - Still didn't get the contract. 389 00:19:48,271 --> 00:19:52,067 Oh, but I will. And I'll get to see Trudy Beekman... 390 00:19:52,234 --> 00:19:55,570 ...try to explain this little barbecue to the co-op board. 391 00:19:55,737 --> 00:19:57,572 That smell takes me back. 392 00:19:57,739 --> 00:20:01,326 - Just like a Zambezi feast. - Yeah, I'm kind of hungry. 393 00:20:01,493 --> 00:20:05,122 - Is that weird? - It would be weirder if you weren't. 394 00:20:05,288 --> 00:20:06,928 Well this torte's a winner, Malory. 395 00:20:07,082 --> 00:20:09,751 What was the name again? - Kladdkaka. 396 00:20:17,968 --> 00:20:19,553 Stop it! 397 00:20:19,720 --> 00:20:22,097 I'm sorry. That... That's a funny word. 398 00:20:22,264 --> 00:20:26,059 Oh, I thought we were laughing at the dead people we set on fire. 399 00:20:29,020 --> 00:20:30,981 Um, sorry. 33161

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