All language subtitles for Archer 2009 S07E08 Liquid Lunch 1080p WEB-D11L DD5 1 H 264-BS (1)_track3_[eng]
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1
00:00:01,551 --> 00:00:03,252
[archer yawns, groans]
2
00:00:03,254 --> 00:00:05,187
[cyril]
archer, hey,
I'm glad you're here.
3
00:00:05,189 --> 00:00:07,723
I'm sure you are.
Because I could kind of
use your help.
4
00:00:07,725 --> 00:00:10,526
I'm sure you could.
But unless it's helping
you leave me alone
5
00:00:10,528 --> 00:00:12,528
Until I finish
my breakfast burrito, I--
6
00:00:12,530 --> 00:00:15,765
It's actually about your mother.
Oh. Is she in this burrito?
7
00:00:15,767 --> 00:00:18,034
No, but--
then sorry.
My hands are tied.
8
00:00:18,036 --> 00:00:19,802
I wouldn't go in there
if I were you.
9
00:00:19,804 --> 00:00:22,271
Cyril, if you were me,
I'd drink a bunch of antifreeze
10
00:00:22,273 --> 00:00:24,640
And then jump off a bridge,
holding a giant toaster.
11
00:00:24,642 --> 00:00:27,476
[whirring, beeping]
12
00:00:27,478 --> 00:00:29,912
Oh, not you, buddy.
Not...
13
00:00:29,914 --> 00:00:31,380
You!
14
00:00:31,382 --> 00:00:33,215
In the well-toned flesh.
15
00:00:33,217 --> 00:00:35,885
Aaahh!
[grunts]
16
00:00:35,887 --> 00:00:38,621
On second thought,
I will have a glass of that.
17
00:00:38,623 --> 00:00:41,424
Oh, good.
I do hate to drink alone.
18
00:00:41,426 --> 00:00:44,427
[clears throat]
I'm here.
19
00:00:44,429 --> 00:00:47,897
Well, but this is
a grande cuvée, so...
[chuckles]
20
00:00:47,899 --> 00:00:49,231
Cheers!
21
00:00:49,233 --> 00:00:51,734
And here's to
a lucrative reunion.
22
00:00:51,736 --> 00:00:53,469
[archer]
and here's to what the shit?
23
00:00:53,471 --> 00:00:56,672
Why is slater here?
Why are you drinking
champagne with him?
24
00:00:56,674 --> 00:00:58,941
And may I please have
some of said champagne?
25
00:00:58,943 --> 00:01:03,079
In reverse order:
No, I was mildly thirsty,
and he wants to hire us.
26
00:01:03,081 --> 00:01:04,847
To do what,
kill another scientist?
27
00:01:04,849 --> 00:01:06,282
And whose fault was that?
28
00:01:06,284 --> 00:01:08,250
I don't remember.
Well--
29
00:01:08,252 --> 00:01:11,821
But whatever cia bullshit
you want us to do,
slater, the answer is no.
30
00:01:11,823 --> 00:01:13,990
Well, let's at least
hear him out.
[laughs]
31
00:01:13,992 --> 00:01:17,293
Are you literally insane?
No, but I'll tell you what is:
32
00:01:17,295 --> 00:01:19,495
A.J.'s tuition
for country day preschool.
33
00:01:19,497 --> 00:01:21,197
Wait. I thought
she was banned from there.
34
00:01:21,199 --> 00:01:24,967
She was, until we made
a sizable donation
35
00:01:24,969 --> 00:01:27,603
To their endowment fund.
Wh-- how sizable?
36
00:01:27,605 --> 00:01:29,805
Uhh, we should probably
hear him out.
37
00:01:29,807 --> 00:01:32,141
Goddamn it. What?
Okay.
38
00:01:32,143 --> 00:01:34,377
I assume you're all familiar
with
the manchurian candidate?
39
00:01:34,379 --> 00:01:36,679
The frank sinatra movie?
Oh, my god.
40
00:01:36,681 --> 00:01:39,815
How the hell does this
have anything to do with
a movie about three sailors,
41
00:01:39,817 --> 00:01:43,185
Gabey, chip and ozzie,
who fall in love
with three crazy gals,
42
00:01:43,187 --> 00:01:47,723
Ivy, hildy and claire,
during a 24-hour shore leave
in new york?
43
00:01:47,725 --> 00:01:49,458
Oh, and it's a musical?
44
00:01:49,460 --> 00:01:51,060
That's
on the town!
45
00:01:51,062 --> 00:01:54,330
And also bea benaderet's
film debut.
46
00:01:54,332 --> 00:01:57,033
Jethro's mom?
Uh, tweety's granny?
47
00:01:57,035 --> 00:01:58,834
You done?
Yes.
48
00:01:58,836 --> 00:02:00,469
Okay, so--
kate bradley?
49
00:02:00,471 --> 00:02:02,038
[sighs]
mrs. Barney rubble?
50
00:02:02,040 --> 00:02:04,673
Thanks for the champagne.
No, no, no! Wait, wait!
51
00:02:04,675 --> 00:02:06,675
He won't say another word.
52
00:02:06,677 --> 00:02:10,179
Please, don't go.
[sighs] all right.
53
00:02:10,181 --> 00:02:13,382
But only because
my other options
are somehow even worse.
54
00:02:13,384 --> 00:02:15,384
So, what do you want us to do?
55
00:02:15,386 --> 00:02:17,553
Short answer:
Prevent world war iii.
56
00:02:17,555 --> 00:02:20,022
And longer answer--
where's the, uh...
57
00:02:20,024 --> 00:02:21,590
Oh. Sorry.
58
00:02:21,592 --> 00:02:24,493
Help me prevent
a former cia agent,
59
00:02:24,495 --> 00:02:27,596
Ken hinkins, who was brainwashed
in the mk-ultra program,
60
00:02:27,598 --> 00:02:30,032
From assassinating
a visiting soviet dignitary,
61
00:02:30,034 --> 00:02:32,268
Thus triggering
a chain of geopolitical events
62
00:02:32,270 --> 00:02:34,336
That would lead
to world war iii.
63
00:02:34,338 --> 00:02:36,572
So, questions? Comments?
64
00:02:37,741 --> 00:02:40,443
That aren't
about bea benaderet?
65
00:02:45,015 --> 00:02:47,083
♪ [theme]
66
00:03:23,787 --> 00:03:26,822
[archer]
so, listen, I know
the cia sucks at everything,
67
00:03:26,824 --> 00:03:29,959
But can they really not
find this hinkins guy?
68
00:03:29,961 --> 00:03:33,129
Why'd you come to us?
Well, for one thing,
I saw this.
69
00:03:33,131 --> 00:03:35,131
Goddamn it!
Give me that!
And obviously,
70
00:03:35,133 --> 00:03:38,501
The agency could find him, ass,
but this is off the books.
71
00:03:38,503 --> 00:03:40,603
Wait. As in illegal, or--
72
00:03:40,605 --> 00:03:42,938
[chuckles]
lana, everything the cia does
73
00:03:42,940 --> 00:03:45,107
Within the borders
of the United States is illegal.
74
00:03:45,109 --> 00:03:47,810
Especially project mk-ultra!
75
00:03:47,812 --> 00:03:49,445
Wait. Mk-ultra...
76
00:03:49,447 --> 00:03:52,314
That was the cia's
mind-control program, right?
77
00:03:52,316 --> 00:03:55,184
Yeah, it's since been, uh,
discredited, but--
[laughs]
78
00:03:55,186 --> 00:03:58,320
Discredited for being
batshit-crazy!
It wasn't--
79
00:03:58,322 --> 00:04:01,357
And for being
in direct violation
of the nuremberg code,
80
00:04:01,359 --> 00:04:04,760
Which was written
because of medical experiments
by nazi war criminals,
81
00:04:04,762 --> 00:04:06,762
Many of whom,
after world war ii--
82
00:04:06,764 --> 00:04:10,199
Spoiler alert-- came to work
for the c-I-goddamn-a!
83
00:04:10,201 --> 00:04:13,435
Wait, what?
Look, the soviets were kicking
our ass in the cold war.
84
00:04:13,437 --> 00:04:15,437
Our scientists
had to think outside the box.
85
00:04:15,439 --> 00:04:18,440
Oh, is that the box
where they kept
informed consent?
86
00:04:18,442 --> 00:04:20,676
Because I'm pretty sure
that all those mental patients
87
00:04:20,678 --> 00:04:23,445
The cia force-fed lsd
didn't give it!
88
00:04:23,447 --> 00:04:25,814
Wait, what?
Mental patients, lana.
89
00:04:25,816 --> 00:04:29,318
They gave them lsd
every day for six months.
90
00:04:29,320 --> 00:04:31,620
Not six months.
The longest one was only
91
00:04:31,622 --> 00:04:34,056
A hundred and seventy-four days.
That is six months.
92
00:04:34,058 --> 00:04:36,959
Oh, and what about
project artichoke, before ultra,
93
00:04:36,961 --> 00:04:40,162
Where you dick-bags
got innocent people
addicted to morphine?
94
00:04:40,164 --> 00:04:43,532
Look, all that crazy drug stuff
was intentionally
"secretly" leaked
95
00:04:43,534 --> 00:04:46,569
To divert attention
from the real goal
of project mk-ultra,
96
00:04:46,571 --> 00:04:48,837
Which was mind control
through hypnosis and torture.
97
00:04:48,839 --> 00:04:50,506
Is that supposed
to make it better?
98
00:04:50,508 --> 00:04:52,141
It's not supposed
to make it anything!
99
00:04:52,143 --> 00:04:54,009
Take a right on sunset.
100
00:04:54,011 --> 00:04:56,512
[tires screeching]
101
00:04:56,514 --> 00:05:00,082
No, but for real, though,
the cia really drugged
and hypnotized people?
102
00:05:00,084 --> 00:05:04,887
Oh, please! That's merely
the tip of a very dark
and twisted iceberg.
103
00:05:04,889 --> 00:05:09,024
Trust me, if there's a hell,
those creepy dulles brothers
are in it.
104
00:05:09,026 --> 00:05:11,927
Doing unspeakable things
with bananas.
[sighs]
105
00:05:11,929 --> 00:05:13,562
Then why would you decide--
106
00:05:13,564 --> 00:05:17,199
Without even consulting me,
the owner of the agency--
107
00:05:17,201 --> 00:05:19,068
To work for the cia again?
108
00:05:19,070 --> 00:05:21,570
Because my pool
needs to be retiled.
109
00:05:21,572 --> 00:05:23,939
And all new coping,
whatever that is.
110
00:05:23,941 --> 00:05:25,741
I don't know.
I mean, I'm not saying
111
00:05:25,743 --> 00:05:27,676
You can't zap
somebody's brain with lsd--
112
00:05:27,678 --> 00:05:29,912
Oh, my god,
even a baby knows that.
113
00:05:29,914 --> 00:05:32,114
But nobody can hypnotize me
if I didn't wanna be.
114
00:05:32,116 --> 00:05:35,351
[scoffs] are you kidding?
I could hypnotize
everybody in this office.
115
00:05:35,353 --> 00:05:36,952
No, you couldn't!
Oh, you can't!
116
00:05:36,954 --> 00:05:39,288
No, but without
psychotropic drugs.
117
00:05:39,290 --> 00:05:42,591
Or your goddamn brain chips,
like you made that rabbit
a vegetable with.
118
00:05:42,593 --> 00:05:44,526
Well, and also
a human being.
119
00:05:44,528 --> 00:05:48,364
No, none of that.
Just pure hypnosis.
[overlapping responses]
120
00:05:48,366 --> 00:05:51,900
But if I can hypnotize you,
you all have to come see
my one-man show,
121
00:05:51,902 --> 00:05:54,637
Jo jo dancer, ihr leben ruft!
122
00:05:54,639 --> 00:05:57,239
Oh...
[muttering]
dude, is that blackface?
123
00:05:57,241 --> 00:05:59,742
Yep!
Whoa!
What the shit, man?
124
00:05:59,744 --> 00:06:02,111
But you have to hypnotize
each of us,
125
00:06:02,113 --> 00:06:04,313
Everybody here in the office?
Yep, yep, yep!
126
00:06:04,315 --> 00:06:06,415
Okay. Then you're on.
Sweet!
127
00:06:06,417 --> 00:06:08,784
Wait, what?
Yes!
He said everybody.
128
00:06:08,786 --> 00:06:11,086
[malory]
who do I have to
murder around here
129
00:06:11,088 --> 00:06:13,656
To get this damn thing
to make ice?
130
00:06:13,658 --> 00:06:15,724
[exclaims in german]
[cackling]
131
00:06:15,726 --> 00:06:17,059
[droning]
whoa!
132
00:06:17,061 --> 00:06:18,494
[gasps]
what is happening?
133
00:06:18,496 --> 00:06:20,262
God!
Oh, I gotta go!
134
00:06:20,264 --> 00:06:22,631
[screams]
[droning continues]
135
00:06:22,633 --> 00:06:24,633
They gone?
Yep.
136
00:06:24,635 --> 00:06:27,136
[exhales]
so, then, to repeat,
137
00:06:27,138 --> 00:06:31,273
I demand immunity from this
idiotic
jo jo dancer bullshit.
138
00:06:31,275 --> 00:06:33,609
Dang! You don't
have to be hurtful.
139
00:06:33,611 --> 00:06:36,745
I feel like I do.
And how do you think
you're gonna pull this off?
140
00:06:36,747 --> 00:06:39,148
Scopolamine, the zombie drug.
141
00:06:39,150 --> 00:06:41,583
What?
Are you kidding me?
142
00:06:41,585 --> 00:06:42,985
Ugh! Are you?
143
00:06:42,987 --> 00:06:44,653
[slater]
man, veronica deane.
144
00:06:44,655 --> 00:06:46,855
Remember her in
shanghai moon?
Oh, my god.
145
00:06:46,857 --> 00:06:48,157
That dress?
Right?
146
00:06:48,159 --> 00:06:49,758
Yeah. Tell him
how you kissed her.
147
00:06:49,760 --> 00:06:51,860
What?
First of all, she kissed me.
148
00:06:51,862 --> 00:06:54,430
My ass!
My mouth. Wait.
149
00:06:54,432 --> 00:06:56,699
I mean-- and I thought
we were over that.
150
00:06:56,701 --> 00:06:58,500
Well, apparently you're not.
151
00:06:58,502 --> 00:07:00,703
I didn't cast her
in
deadly velvet.
152
00:07:00,705 --> 00:07:04,206
Which, do you think
they're currently in principal
photography on that, or--
153
00:07:04,208 --> 00:07:08,344
I think it's neither
the time nor the place
nor the slater to discuss it!
154
00:07:08,346 --> 00:07:09,945
I'm not the one
who brought it up!
155
00:07:09,947 --> 00:07:11,780
You are exactly the one!
First of all--
156
00:07:11,782 --> 00:07:15,617
Could you both please shut up
and do what I hired you to do?
157
00:07:15,619 --> 00:07:17,720
Which, if you already knew
hinkins was here--
158
00:07:17,722 --> 00:07:20,689
He's not.
But there's somebody up there
who should know where he is.
159
00:07:20,691 --> 00:07:22,891
Yeah, lana. Ow!
[sighs]
160
00:07:22,893 --> 00:07:26,295
Archer, your professionalism
never ceases to amaze me.
161
00:07:26,297 --> 00:07:28,297
[gasps]
you know what's amazing?
162
00:07:28,299 --> 00:07:32,468
Magnets! Especially
for dumb idiots like you.
163
00:07:41,244 --> 00:07:42,411
[archer]
okay, what's this guy's name?
164
00:07:42,413 --> 00:07:44,380
Eckerd. But follow
my lead in there.
165
00:07:44,382 --> 00:07:46,915
We gotta take it real easy.
These ex-ultra guys
are really jumpy, so--
166
00:07:46,917 --> 00:07:50,052
Hey, eckerd, come move
your goddamn car outta my spot,
167
00:07:50,054 --> 00:07:51,587
You bug-eyed son of a--
[rifle fires]
168
00:07:51,589 --> 00:07:53,689
Hey!
Now who's the idiot?
169
00:07:53,691 --> 00:07:55,090
[rifle fires]
whoo!
170
00:07:55,092 --> 00:07:56,692
He asked, idiotly.
171
00:07:56,694 --> 00:07:58,260
Wait, wait, wait!
172
00:07:58,262 --> 00:07:59,862
[thudding, glass shatters]
damn it!
173
00:07:59,864 --> 00:08:02,398
Holy shit!
174
00:08:02,400 --> 00:08:04,233
[grunting]
stop it!
175
00:08:04,235 --> 00:08:05,667
[slater] eckerd!
[gasps]
slater!
176
00:08:05,669 --> 00:08:07,403
It's okay.
We just wanna talk.
177
00:08:07,405 --> 00:08:09,772
Yeah, the gun's
just a conversation piece.
178
00:08:09,774 --> 00:08:12,608
[pam]
what? Bluntz & blintzen?
179
00:08:12,610 --> 00:08:15,344
Nice try, krieger.
Who am I, the road runner?
180
00:08:15,346 --> 00:08:18,580
Although if this is for real,
I'll never forgive myself.
181
00:08:18,582 --> 00:08:21,383
Goddamn it,
this better not be a ruse!
182
00:08:21,385 --> 00:08:24,119
All right.
There better be some damn...
183
00:08:24,121 --> 00:08:26,021
[sputters, spits]
what the...
184
00:08:26,023 --> 00:08:28,924
[heart beating]
185
00:08:28,926 --> 00:08:30,125
Huh.
186
00:08:30,127 --> 00:08:32,294
Pamela.
Yes, doctor.
187
00:08:32,296 --> 00:08:34,696
You are under
my complete control.
188
00:08:34,698 --> 00:08:37,800
Yes, doctor.
Tell cheryl to come in here.
189
00:08:37,802 --> 00:08:39,868
Hey, neck-bird,
come here a second!
190
00:08:39,870 --> 00:08:42,905
Ugh! Why? Shut up! Why?
191
00:08:42,907 --> 00:08:46,575
Uh, there's a mouse
caught in a trap,
and he's still alive,
192
00:08:46,577 --> 00:08:48,444
But his tiny little
back's broken!
193
00:08:48,446 --> 00:08:50,446
Where? Show me.
I wanna see it. Where?
194
00:08:50,448 --> 00:08:51,447
Eww!
195
00:08:51,449 --> 00:08:53,782
[heart beating]
196
00:08:53,784 --> 00:08:55,617
Huh.
197
00:08:55,619 --> 00:08:58,320
Cheryl.
Yes, doctor.
198
00:08:58,322 --> 00:09:00,289
Boolean search, hypnosis,
199
00:09:00,291 --> 00:09:03,158
And how to
defend against, yes?
200
00:09:03,160 --> 00:09:05,060
[pam, cheryl]
hey, cyril, come here!
201
00:09:05,062 --> 00:09:06,328
Why? Shut up! Why?
202
00:09:06,330 --> 00:09:08,630
[pam]
uh, we found lana's diary!
203
00:09:08,632 --> 00:09:10,732
[cheryl]
and it's all about your dong!
204
00:09:12,068 --> 00:09:13,635
[together]
yes, doctor.
205
00:09:13,637 --> 00:09:15,971
See?
Easy peasy zombie squeezy.
206
00:09:15,973 --> 00:09:19,741
You still gotta get ms. Archer,
and she's not a candy-ass
like these ones.
207
00:09:19,743 --> 00:09:23,111
She's 80 pounds.
This stuff could
paralyze a gorilla.
208
00:09:23,113 --> 00:09:25,080
[whispers]
on angel dust.
[malory] wha--
209
00:09:25,082 --> 00:09:27,149
I better not smell marijuana!
210
00:09:27,151 --> 00:09:28,784
Here we go,
here we go, here we go!
211
00:09:28,786 --> 00:09:33,288
I swear to god,
you people, the...
212
00:09:33,290 --> 00:09:34,289
Huh.
213
00:09:34,291 --> 00:09:36,592
Malory.
Yes, doctor.
214
00:09:36,594 --> 00:09:39,428
You are under my-- ow!
You son of a--
215
00:09:39,430 --> 00:09:42,264
[grunting]
are you out of your mind?
216
00:09:42,266 --> 00:09:44,299
What is wrong with you?
Oh-ho-ho!
217
00:09:44,301 --> 00:09:46,368
Walk in here with you idiots
smoking reefers
218
00:09:46,370 --> 00:09:48,871
Like a bunch of yardbirds,
and you spritz me?
219
00:09:48,873 --> 00:09:50,973
You spritz me?
[grunting continues]
220
00:09:50,975 --> 00:09:54,176
Well, let me tell you
something,
herr doktor!
Oh!
221
00:09:54,178 --> 00:09:56,478
I killed seven krauts
with a shovel,
222
00:09:56,480 --> 00:09:59,281
So one more beardy
son of a bitch like you
223
00:09:59,283 --> 00:10:03,151
Won't make a damn
bit of difference!
[screams]
224
00:10:03,153 --> 00:10:04,553
[clears throat]
[whimpering]
225
00:10:04,555 --> 00:10:05,888
And you!
226
00:10:05,890 --> 00:10:08,490
Any questions,
little miss blintzen?
227
00:10:08,492 --> 00:10:10,025
[rattling]
[squeaky]
mm-mm.
228
00:10:10,027 --> 00:10:12,027
And when I get back from lunch,
229
00:10:12,029 --> 00:10:14,763
You people had better
be hard at work!
230
00:10:17,166 --> 00:10:19,868
[coughing]
231
00:10:19,870 --> 00:10:21,503
I told your dumb ass...
232
00:10:21,505 --> 00:10:23,372
[inhales sharply]
yep.
233
00:10:23,374 --> 00:10:25,741
Back in ten minutes.
Be ready.
234
00:10:25,743 --> 00:10:28,544
Ow, ow, ow, ow.
[grunts]
235
00:10:28,546 --> 00:10:31,346
Ow, ow,
ow, ow. [grunts]
236
00:10:31,348 --> 00:10:33,382
Eckerd, I'm not
gonna ask you again.
237
00:10:33,384 --> 00:10:36,351
Good, because I'm not
gonna tell you.
Yes, you are.
238
00:10:36,353 --> 00:10:38,820
So, how'd you know this
wasn't a combat shotgun,
239
00:10:38,822 --> 00:10:40,589
With, say, five rounds
in the tube?
240
00:10:40,591 --> 00:10:43,325
How would I know that?
So you just barged in?
241
00:10:43,327 --> 00:10:46,495
What am I gonna do, lana,
stand out in the hall
the rest of my life?
242
00:10:46,497 --> 00:10:47,696
[slater]
one.
[gun cocks]
243
00:10:47,698 --> 00:10:49,898
I--
two. Eckerd, I'm serious.
244
00:10:49,900 --> 00:10:52,234
It's got real bullets
and everything.
I--
245
00:10:52,236 --> 00:10:54,336
I don't care.
I won't tell you.
246
00:10:54,338 --> 00:10:56,271
Slater, is that
really necessary?
247
00:10:56,273 --> 00:10:58,874
Actually, no.
Could you grab me
a pitcher of water and a towel?
248
00:10:58,876 --> 00:11:00,876
Wait! No, no! No! No!
249
00:11:00,878 --> 00:11:03,545
No, no, no! Stop, stop, stop!
Okay, okay, okay.
250
00:11:03,547 --> 00:11:05,714
Please. I'll tell you
where he is.
251
00:11:05,716 --> 00:11:07,215
Wait, what?
I'm waiting.
252
00:11:07,217 --> 00:11:09,117
He didn't even pour
any water on you.
253
00:11:09,119 --> 00:11:11,286
Yeah, and he's not going to.
254
00:11:11,288 --> 00:11:15,757
Hinkins is at the tuntford arms,
room 302,
under the name "swenders."
255
00:11:15,759 --> 00:11:17,859
Okay, we can be there--
wait a minute.
256
00:11:17,861 --> 00:11:21,563
You give up your buddy
just because some dickhead
threatens to waterboard you?
257
00:11:21,565 --> 00:11:24,266
Yes!
Are you--
how bad could it be?
258
00:11:24,268 --> 00:11:26,268
What? Are you kidding?
Archer, it's--
259
00:11:26,270 --> 00:11:27,703
Wait. You wait.
What?
260
00:11:27,705 --> 00:11:29,972
How have you never
been waterboarded?
261
00:11:29,974 --> 00:11:31,273
Why would I?
What?
262
00:11:31,275 --> 00:11:33,041
Gee, I don't know.
Training?
263
00:11:33,043 --> 00:11:34,376
[chuckles]
what?
Oh, my--
264
00:11:34,378 --> 00:11:35,978
Archer, we all had to--
265
00:11:35,980 --> 00:11:39,147
Where were you
on waterboarding day?
Uh...
266
00:11:39,149 --> 00:11:42,250
No, no, no, no!
Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait! Wait!
267
00:11:42,252 --> 00:11:44,453
I think I'm supposed
to be somewhere.
268
00:11:44,455 --> 00:11:49,424
But I also think I want
the lavender instead
of the sandalwood. Right?
269
00:11:49,426 --> 00:11:51,159
Oh, who remembers?
I do.
270
00:11:51,161 --> 00:11:53,261
I remember exactly
where I was, archer.
271
00:11:53,263 --> 00:11:55,931
I was strapped to a board
and so convinced
I was actually drowning
272
00:11:55,933 --> 00:11:57,332
That I shit my sweatpants.
273
00:11:57,334 --> 00:11:59,601
Wait. Not--
yes! Literally!
274
00:11:59,603 --> 00:12:02,237
Well, that sounds terrible.
It is terrible.
275
00:12:02,239 --> 00:12:05,474
I can't believe
you weaseled out of it.
That is so classic you!
276
00:12:05,476 --> 00:12:07,676
[chuckles]
yeah, right?
Pretty great.
277
00:12:07,678 --> 00:12:11,513
So, should we go,
or do you need to bungle
the invasion of cuba first?
278
00:12:11,515 --> 00:12:13,281
Mm, no.
We've got a few minutes.
279
00:12:13,283 --> 00:12:15,684
[cocks]
so get on the table, idiot.
280
00:12:15,686 --> 00:12:18,353
[chuckles]
exqueeze me?
281
00:12:18,355 --> 00:12:19,988
You heard him.
282
00:12:19,990 --> 00:12:21,523
No, but seriously,
don't feel bad
283
00:12:21,525 --> 00:12:23,158
When I'm totally unfazed
by this.
284
00:12:23,160 --> 00:12:24,793
Yeah, again,
it's not gonna be
285
00:12:24,795 --> 00:12:27,195
Like some homoerotic
prep-school swirlie.
286
00:12:27,197 --> 00:12:29,965
Yeah, they were kind of
oddly sexual.
287
00:12:29,967 --> 00:12:31,967
Gonna just leave that there?
Lana?
288
00:12:31,969 --> 00:12:33,435
With pleasure.
289
00:12:33,437 --> 00:12:35,837
Plus, I bet this
only affects women.
290
00:12:35,839 --> 00:12:38,807
Really?
Well, you know,
people with vaginas.
291
00:12:38,809 --> 00:12:41,943
Uh-huh.
However you choose
to self-identify.
292
00:12:41,945 --> 00:12:44,346
[sighs]
god, I'm going to enjoy this.
293
00:12:44,348 --> 00:12:47,382
[laughs]
well, I know you like
putting stuff in guys' mouths.
294
00:12:47,384 --> 00:12:48,817
You finished?
[laughs]
295
00:12:48,819 --> 00:12:51,153
I bet you ask
guys that a lot.
296
00:12:51,155 --> 00:12:53,155
[clears throat]
aah!
297
00:12:53,157 --> 00:12:55,157
And then
clear your throat!
298
00:12:55,159 --> 00:12:57,826
Okay. All right.
I'm ready.
Let's do this.
299
00:12:57,828 --> 00:13:02,197
And just to reiterate,
waterboarding will not
affect me in any way whatsoever.
300
00:13:02,199 --> 00:13:05,901
[clears throat]
and, also, you have a vagina.
301
00:13:14,877 --> 00:13:18,180
[stammering] I didn't know it--
it would be like that.
302
00:13:18,182 --> 00:13:21,383
I mean, you-- you-- you--
you hear about it,
303
00:13:21,385 --> 00:13:23,852
And you hear people
say it's bad, but you think,
304
00:13:23,854 --> 00:13:26,655
"oh, those people
probably have vaginas."
305
00:13:26,657 --> 00:13:30,225
But I don't have a vagina!
But as god is my witness,
306
00:13:30,227 --> 00:13:34,396
That was the worst thing
I've ever experienced in my--
307
00:13:34,398 --> 00:13:36,732
Wait a minute!
I've actually drowned before!
308
00:13:36,734 --> 00:13:40,168
Literally drowned!
I was actually clinically dead
from drowning!
309
00:13:40,170 --> 00:13:43,004
Which, looking back,
I'm kind of surprised
I didn't remember
310
00:13:43,006 --> 00:13:46,441
When I was joking about
everybody having vaginas, but...
311
00:13:46,443 --> 00:13:48,543
Lana...
No-o-o-o!
312
00:13:48,545 --> 00:13:50,112
No, no, no, no, no.
313
00:13:50,114 --> 00:13:52,514
Do not speak to me.
You have said quite enough.
314
00:13:52,516 --> 00:13:55,217
Yeah, but I--
oh, come on, lana.
315
00:13:55,219 --> 00:13:59,020
It is a proven fact
that torture makes you say
what your captors wanna hear.
316
00:13:59,022 --> 00:14:01,423
I don't think she wanted to hear
about how you've been struggling
317
00:14:01,425 --> 00:14:04,359
With what you truly believe
are genuine feelings
for veronica deane.
318
00:14:04,361 --> 00:14:06,094
I--
speaking of vaginas--
319
00:14:06,096 --> 00:14:08,063
Were we?
Ughhh!
320
00:14:08,065 --> 00:14:10,065
Oh, my god,
I'm such a fatty.
321
00:14:10,067 --> 00:14:11,933
[krieger]
ray! Ray, come in here!
322
00:14:11,935 --> 00:14:13,368
Why? Shut up! Why?
323
00:14:13,370 --> 00:14:15,637
[malory]
because he said so,
you little snot!
324
00:14:15,639 --> 00:14:17,072
[plate shatters]
uh...
325
00:14:17,074 --> 00:14:19,374
Coming!
[krieger]
and bring the others!
326
00:14:19,376 --> 00:14:21,610
[imitating dogs]
well, y'all heard the man.
Come on!
327
00:14:21,612 --> 00:14:22,944
[together]
yes, ray.
328
00:14:22,946 --> 00:14:24,579
[panting]
sorry.
329
00:14:24,581 --> 00:14:26,648
I was putting away
the blintzes.
I bet.
330
00:14:26,650 --> 00:14:29,084
Silence, woman.
Yes, doctor.
331
00:14:29,086 --> 00:14:31,052
How did you, um--
332
00:14:31,054 --> 00:14:33,121
Oh, uh, just gave her
another spritz.
333
00:14:33,123 --> 00:14:34,756
What the...
[imitating dogs]
334
00:14:34,758 --> 00:14:36,625
Why are they crawling?
Oh, sorry.
335
00:14:36,627 --> 00:14:38,760
I turned them into little,
wiggly pugs.
336
00:14:38,762 --> 00:14:40,962
It's okay.
I was gonna do that, too.
337
00:14:40,964 --> 00:14:43,498
Hey, no!
Save it for the camera.
338
00:14:43,500 --> 00:14:46,968
All righty, I guess let's
get 'em stripped down
to their
unterpantzen.
339
00:14:46,970 --> 00:14:50,338
[lana] as a matter of fact,
why don't you just call her up
and ask her out?
340
00:14:50,340 --> 00:14:53,441
Lana--
take her to the brown derby
for the early-bird special,
341
00:14:53,443 --> 00:14:55,277
Get her some
chicken croquettes.
342
00:14:55,279 --> 00:14:57,012
Oh, oh, oh,
and some sherbet!
343
00:14:57,014 --> 00:14:58,780
Old people love sherbet!
[elevator bell dings]
344
00:14:58,782 --> 00:15:00,248
She's, like, 50.
345
00:15:00,250 --> 00:15:01,516
Million!
346
00:15:01,518 --> 00:15:04,252
[scoffs]
doesn't even make sense.
347
00:15:04,254 --> 00:15:06,421
Oh, and how old
is ellis crane?
348
00:15:06,423 --> 00:15:08,290
Moot!
The question is moot,
349
00:15:08,292 --> 00:15:10,292
Because I didn't make out
with ellis crane!
350
00:15:10,294 --> 00:15:12,327
Hey, guys,
as much as I'm loving this,
351
00:15:12,329 --> 00:15:15,463
What say we focus
on the mission here?
I am focused, slater!
352
00:15:15,465 --> 00:15:17,666
But once we find
this hinkins guy,
you can just--
353
00:15:17,668 --> 00:15:19,301
Whoa! Son of a--
jesus!
354
00:15:19,303 --> 00:15:20,836
[sighs]
you were saying?
355
00:15:20,838 --> 00:15:23,505
Hinkins! Hinkins, wait!
Damn it!
356
00:15:23,507 --> 00:15:25,941
I'll take the lobby.
You two take that stairwell
to the roof.
357
00:15:25,943 --> 00:15:28,810
Move, move, move, move!
Who died and made you
hall monitor?
358
00:15:28,812 --> 00:15:30,779
Oh, shut up and come on!
359
00:15:32,648 --> 00:15:34,382
He's going up!
Why are you still talking?
360
00:15:34,384 --> 00:15:36,518
Well, that's
a good question, lana,
361
00:15:36,520 --> 00:15:39,654
Because obviously you can't have
a mature conversation
about this.
362
00:15:39,656 --> 00:15:42,157
And I know
you like 'em mature!
Case in point!
363
00:15:42,159 --> 00:15:44,693
And, gee, I wonder why that is.
Lana!
364
00:15:44,695 --> 00:15:47,195
Paging dr. Freud!
Dr. Sigmund
365
00:15:47,197 --> 00:15:50,532
"oh, by the way, deep down,
I really wanna
plow my mom" freud!
366
00:15:50,534 --> 00:15:52,200
[laughs]
that's not even--
367
00:15:52,202 --> 00:15:54,703
I didn't even say that
while I was being waterboarded.
368
00:15:54,705 --> 00:15:56,204
Well, you--
[gasps]
369
00:15:56,206 --> 00:15:58,006
Oh, shit.
Hinkins, wait!
370
00:15:58,008 --> 00:16:00,642
[lana]
wait! No, no, no!
Don't move! We can--
371
00:16:00,644 --> 00:16:04,412
You can tell slater
and the rest of those vampires
at the agency
372
00:16:04,414 --> 00:16:06,481
That ultra
doesn't end with me!
373
00:16:06,483 --> 00:16:10,085
It can never end, you see!
It's a-- it's a mobius strip!
374
00:16:10,087 --> 00:16:14,489
An endless ticker tape,
and we are the data!
The tiny pinholes...
375
00:16:14,491 --> 00:16:16,591
Yeah, good,
keep him talking.
376
00:16:16,593 --> 00:16:20,328
I'm gonna sneak up on him
from the side.
The-- wait, what?
377
00:16:20,330 --> 00:16:21,329
...To kill me--
[crunch]
378
00:16:21,331 --> 00:16:22,931
Huh?
[yelling]
379
00:16:22,933 --> 00:16:25,166
[screaming]
380
00:16:25,168 --> 00:16:27,369
[body thuds]
[car alarm blaring]
381
00:16:27,371 --> 00:16:30,272
That was your plan?
382
00:16:30,274 --> 00:16:32,274
Well, you didn't
even have one.
383
00:16:32,276 --> 00:16:34,743
Sometimes doing nothing
is a plan!
384
00:16:34,745 --> 00:16:38,380
And-- spoiler alert--
nothing is what you should've
done with veronica deane,
385
00:16:38,382 --> 00:16:43,184
Instead of that pathetic little
fanboy make-out session at the--
386
00:16:43,186 --> 00:16:44,219
Ugh!
387
00:16:44,221 --> 00:16:47,055
For [bleep]'s sake!
388
00:16:47,057 --> 00:16:49,524
Archer.
Hmm? What?
What are we doing?
389
00:16:49,526 --> 00:16:51,960
Oh, I'll tell you
what we're doing.
[door opens]
390
00:16:51,962 --> 00:16:56,064
Does it involve
scraping a cia asset off
the roof of a datsun honey bee?
391
00:16:56,066 --> 00:16:57,699
[chuckles]
man, I hope not.
392
00:16:57,701 --> 00:16:59,868
[grunting]
[cocks]
393
00:17:02,939 --> 00:17:05,440
Uh, yeah.
So, here's the thing here--
394
00:17:05,442 --> 00:17:07,809
The thing here is that
I am not paying you!
395
00:17:07,811 --> 00:17:10,712
That's the thing here!
What the shit, slater?
396
00:17:10,714 --> 00:17:14,049
I mean, maybe it didn't
end well for hinkins,
if it was even supposed to--
397
00:17:14,051 --> 00:17:16,751
But either way,
nobody got assassinated.
398
00:17:16,753 --> 00:17:19,654
Yeah, good point.
But, funny story,
399
00:17:19,656 --> 00:17:22,457
I wasn't gonna
pay you anyway, so...
400
00:17:22,459 --> 00:17:24,893
♪ [scatting]
401
00:17:28,064 --> 00:17:30,265
♪ slater.
[door closes]
402
00:17:30,267 --> 00:17:32,968
Huh. Well,
the good news is--
403
00:17:32,970 --> 00:17:34,135
Shh.
What?
404
00:17:34,137 --> 00:17:35,770
Shh, shush, shush, shush.
405
00:17:35,772 --> 00:17:37,939
Do you hear that?
What?
406
00:17:37,941 --> 00:17:41,343
That sound.
I think it's the break.
407
00:17:41,345 --> 00:17:42,844
The what?
What-- what brake?
408
00:17:42,846 --> 00:17:44,646
The break that we're on!
409
00:17:49,919 --> 00:17:51,486
Oh.
[chuckles]
410
00:17:51,488 --> 00:17:53,621
Okay. Now I get it.
411
00:17:53,623 --> 00:17:56,524
I thought she was talking
about the brakes
on the datsun honey bee.
412
00:17:56,526 --> 00:17:58,860
But, uh...
413
00:17:58,862 --> 00:18:00,762
Nope.
414
00:18:10,773 --> 00:18:11,773
[cyril groaning]
415
00:18:11,775 --> 00:18:14,109
Oh, my head.
416
00:18:14,111 --> 00:18:15,810
[groans]
417
00:18:15,812 --> 00:18:17,946
Hey, where the heck
are my pants?
418
00:18:17,948 --> 00:18:21,116
[exhales]
pants, hell.
Where's that damn cat?
419
00:18:21,118 --> 00:18:22,517
Ugh! What cat?
420
00:18:22,519 --> 00:18:25,220
The one that shit in my mouth.
[spitting]
421
00:18:25,222 --> 00:18:27,455
And that may or may not
be a metaphor.
422
00:18:27,457 --> 00:18:29,958
Well, this sure
as hell isn't.
423
00:18:29,960 --> 00:18:32,394
[whimpering]
[growling]
424
00:18:32,396 --> 00:18:34,029
[krieger]
yep, yep, yep! Okay.
425
00:18:34,031 --> 00:18:35,630
Now you're all birds of prey.
426
00:18:35,632 --> 00:18:37,198
[all squawking]
427
00:18:37,200 --> 00:18:39,801
Ja! Und cyril
ist der falkonmeister!
428
00:18:39,803 --> 00:18:42,737
Ja, ja!
Untzergrabben! Untzergrabben!
429
00:18:42,739 --> 00:18:47,142
Oh, my god!
You are hands down the world's
shittiest
falkonmeister.
430
00:18:47,144 --> 00:18:49,144
What? I don't
even remember that.
431
00:18:49,146 --> 00:18:50,745
You don't have to.
It's on tape.
432
00:18:50,747 --> 00:18:53,314
So now we gotta
go see
jo jo dancer.
433
00:18:53,316 --> 00:18:55,683
Which better be
as racist as it looks.
434
00:18:55,685 --> 00:18:58,486
And you're not, like,
hungover, or...
435
00:18:58,488 --> 00:19:00,688
Why would I be?
No, I mean you wouldn't,
436
00:19:00,690 --> 00:19:04,559
Especially if you weren't
exposed to scopolamine
or something like that.
437
00:19:04,561 --> 00:19:07,662
Scopolamine?
Why would I have been?
438
00:19:07,664 --> 00:19:09,931
I-- no, yeah, no--
I-- you know, I--
439
00:19:09,933 --> 00:19:12,434
Yeah, exactly. Why?
440
00:19:12,436 --> 00:19:15,503
And more importantly, how?
441
00:19:15,505 --> 00:19:18,106
[krieger]
okay, that's--
oh, come on. Stop it.
442
00:19:18,108 --> 00:19:21,209
That's just about enough of--
what-- well,
that does it, missy!
443
00:19:21,211 --> 00:19:24,112
You can just cool your jets
in there.
Yes, doctor.
444
00:19:24,114 --> 00:19:27,715
And by "jets," obviously I mean
your actual cooling jets, so...
445
00:19:27,717 --> 00:19:28,917
Yes, doctor.
446
00:19:28,919 --> 00:19:30,752
So, yeah,
just cool your jets...
447
00:19:30,754 --> 00:19:32,954
Oh, and as for
the rest of you...
448
00:19:32,956 --> 00:19:36,357
Now that I think about it,
let's everybody cool
their respective jets.
449
00:19:36,359 --> 00:19:37,692
[whirring]
450
00:19:37,694 --> 00:19:40,428
Excellent. Yes.
451
00:19:40,430 --> 00:19:42,630
Yes, very good.
452
00:19:43,632 --> 00:19:46,034
Well, short term, anyway.
453
00:19:50,106 --> 00:19:51,306
[electricity arcs]
454
00:19:51,308 --> 00:19:53,608
[continuous mechanical humming]
455
00:20:22,905 --> 00:20:26,474
[man]
made in georgia.
35762
