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1
00:00:20,521 --> 00:00:21,729
What?
2
00:00:21,897 --> 00:00:23,773
Ugh. Yes, I'll accept the charges.
3
00:00:25,234 --> 00:00:28,319
- Goddamn, who is it? Cancer?
- Oh.
4
00:00:28,487 --> 00:00:30,446
I think it's Mr. Archer.
5
00:00:30,614 --> 00:00:31,698
Hello?
6
00:00:31,865 --> 00:00:33,908
Carol, hey, shut up. I need your help.
7
00:00:34,076 --> 00:00:36,452
- And that's how you ask?
- Wait, Pam?
8
00:00:36,620 --> 00:00:37,954
Is that you?
Yes.
9
00:00:38,122 --> 00:00:41,457
Great, shut up, because I'm talking
to Carol. Carol, here's the deal...
10
00:00:41,625 --> 00:00:45,586
Let me guess, you're butt-hurt because Lana
hired some Pakistani dude to shoot you.
11
00:00:45,754 --> 00:00:48,631
You went to Vegas, now you're
drunk and broke outside a casino.
12
00:00:48,799 --> 00:00:53,261
You want me to wire a thousand dollars to buy
you a plane ticket and a pre-flight whore.
13
00:00:54,304 --> 00:00:57,432
Okay, I'm gonna list everything
you just said that's totally wrong.
14
00:00:57,599 --> 00:00:59,976
A, not outside a casino, so...
15
00:01:00,144 --> 00:01:02,478
Okay, it's gonna sound
like I'm hanging up...
16
00:01:02,646 --> 00:01:03,855
...but...
No. Wait, wait.
17
00:01:04,022 --> 00:01:05,898
Come on, I really need your help.
18
00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:09,694
Ugh. Okay, where do I send the...?
Hang on.
19
00:01:09,862 --> 00:01:10,987
Make him beg.
20
00:01:11,155 --> 00:01:13,531
Pam, goddamn it, I said shut up.
You shut up.
21
00:01:13,699 --> 00:01:16,826
Jesus, I'm sending you the money
for your stupid plane ticket.
22
00:01:16,994 --> 00:01:18,786
Which would be great...
23
00:01:18,954 --> 00:01:21,497
...if I were not on the no-fly list.
Ha-ha-ha-ha!
24
00:01:21,665 --> 00:01:25,084
How did you get on the no-fly list?
Uh...
25
00:01:26,462 --> 00:01:28,671
- Help! Get it off!
- Oh!
26
00:01:28,839 --> 00:01:31,132
I wanna fly the plane.
27
00:01:31,300 --> 00:01:34,051
You know, who knows? It's the government.
That's not important.
28
00:01:34,219 --> 00:01:36,804
What is important is getting me home.
29
00:01:36,972 --> 00:01:40,266
Ugh. Fine, then I'll send the money
for a stupid train ticket.
30
00:01:40,434 --> 00:01:42,977
Which would also be great...
31
00:01:45,981 --> 00:01:48,441
I wanna fly the train.
32
00:01:48,609 --> 00:01:51,736
Wow, I had no idea
there was a no-train list.
33
00:01:51,904 --> 00:01:54,030
Well, neither did I,
but apparently there is.
34
00:01:54,198 --> 00:01:56,657
And before you ask,
the answer is no, Carol.
35
00:01:56,825 --> 00:01:58,367
A thousand times no.
36
00:01:58,535 --> 00:02:02,872
I will not, I cannot ride the bus.
37
00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:05,124
Wha...? Stop. Goddamn it, I said no.
38
00:02:06,752 --> 00:02:08,044
Simone, I swear to God...
39
00:02:08,212 --> 00:02:10,338
...I will rub your own remaining teeth
in your eyes.
40
00:02:13,884 --> 00:02:15,218
You ain't got kick pants.
41
00:02:15,385 --> 00:02:19,347
So I don't care what it costs me,
financially or self-respectfully...
42
00:02:19,515 --> 00:02:22,892
...but I need you to do me a big favor.
43
00:02:23,602 --> 00:02:25,019
Oh, thank you.
44
00:02:25,354 --> 00:02:26,896
Thank you, God.
45
00:02:28,190 --> 00:02:30,233
Yay!
Right?
46
00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:32,819
Heh-heh-heh.
Archer, you look like shit.
47
00:02:32,986 --> 00:02:34,028
And...
48
00:02:35,405 --> 00:02:36,906
And obviously thank you too...
49
00:02:37,699 --> 00:02:41,661
...Asmodeus, Destroyer of Men.
50
00:03:23,078 --> 00:03:25,997
All I needed was an airplane.
51
00:03:26,164 --> 00:03:28,207
So why is it full of you idiots?
52
00:03:28,375 --> 00:03:30,668
Well, I wasn't gonna sit
around the office all by myself.
53
00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:35,172
Because one of us needed some multi-engine
time for his pilot's license...
54
00:03:35,340 --> 00:03:38,384
And one of us would go pretty much
anywhere to piss off your mother.
55
00:03:38,969 --> 00:03:40,636
Hello?
56
00:03:40,804 --> 00:03:42,054
Hello?
57
00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:43,389
Son of a...
58
00:03:43,557 --> 00:03:47,059
Fine. Then I'll just get my own ice.
59
00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:50,021
No. I'll drink it neat.
60
00:03:50,188 --> 00:03:52,356
And me and Krieger
are all about going to Branson.
61
00:03:52,524 --> 00:03:53,566
Boo-yah!
62
00:03:53,734 --> 00:03:57,403
And I assume Branson is some sort
of all-one-cares-to-eat establishment?
63
00:03:57,571 --> 00:03:58,613
- Um...
- You're kidding, right?
64
00:03:58,780 --> 00:04:02,575
It's only the biggest country music
tourist destination in the world.
65
00:04:02,743 --> 00:04:05,328
Wait a minute, is this about Cherlene?
Who?
66
00:04:05,495 --> 00:04:08,122
She has no memory of any of that.
Wait, what?
67
00:04:08,290 --> 00:04:11,626
You don't remember being the number one
country singer in America?
68
00:04:13,170 --> 00:04:16,297
Okay.
Besides, Branson isn't just country music.
69
00:04:16,465 --> 00:04:18,799
There's Tony Orlando, Charo...
70
00:04:18,967 --> 00:04:21,469
The comedy stylings of Yakov Smirnoff.
71
00:04:21,637 --> 00:04:23,012
How do you not know about Branson?
72
00:04:23,180 --> 00:04:26,682
I guess the same reason I don't know
what grits are or hush puppies.
73
00:04:26,850 --> 00:04:27,892
- You serious?
- My God.
74
00:04:28,060 --> 00:04:30,645
Hush puppies are little balls
of fried cornmeal batter.
75
00:04:31,021 --> 00:04:34,732
Mm. Not really, though.
Well, and also shoes.
76
00:04:34,900 --> 00:04:39,362
Well, thank you, Cyril. I was just angry,
now I'm confused and angry.
77
00:04:39,529 --> 00:04:41,364
Good morning, ladies and gentlemen.
78
00:04:41,531 --> 00:04:44,867
This is Captain Ray Gillette,
welcoming you aboard from the flight deck.
79
00:04:45,035 --> 00:04:47,787
- Flight time to Branson is about three hours.
- No, it isn't.
80
00:04:47,955 --> 00:04:51,415
Shut up. And in the meantime, if you
look out the left side of the cabin...
81
00:04:51,583 --> 00:04:54,001
...you can just make out
Nellis Air Force Base...
82
00:04:54,169 --> 00:04:56,295
...home to Area 51.
83
00:04:56,463 --> 00:04:57,672
Wait, what?
Seriously?
84
00:04:57,839 --> 00:05:00,007
Hey, watch it.
I can't see it. I can't see it.
85
00:05:00,175 --> 00:05:01,676
See what? What's Area 51?
86
00:05:01,843 --> 00:05:05,805
What's Area...? Are you shitting me?
Everybody knows about Area 51.
87
00:05:05,973 --> 00:05:08,975
Even me, and I didn't even know
they made shoes out of cornbread.
88
00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:12,186
It's where the government keeps
all the aliens that have crashed on Earth.
89
00:05:12,354 --> 00:05:15,439
Well, allegedly, but...
Oh, my God. Cyril, shut up.
90
00:05:15,607 --> 00:05:18,234
Oh, so you believe
the United States government...
91
00:05:18,402 --> 00:05:21,362
...is actually harboring
extraterrestrial life-forms...
92
00:05:21,530 --> 00:05:24,448
...at an Air Force base in
the Nevada desert. Heh. No.
93
00:05:24,616 --> 00:05:28,619
- Ray, get in closer. I can't see jackdick.
- No, this is good.
94
00:05:28,787 --> 00:05:31,122
That airspace is all
extremely restricted, so...
95
00:05:31,289 --> 00:05:32,915
- For the love of God.
- You pussy!
96
00:05:33,083 --> 00:05:34,750
- Well, maybe a little closer.
- Whoa!
97
00:05:34,918 --> 00:05:36,252
Hang on. What are you doing?
98
00:05:36,420 --> 00:05:38,671
Heh. And what are you wearing?
99
00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:41,590
It was in the crew locker.
I think it looks pretty sharp.
100
00:05:41,758 --> 00:05:43,884
- Really?
- Ray, get closer!
101
00:05:44,052 --> 00:05:45,386
- Pam, shut up.
- Make her.
102
00:05:45,554 --> 00:05:47,680
Look, Ray, I know you don't do well
with peer pressure...
103
00:05:47,848 --> 00:05:49,724
Wha...?
Teacup pig.
104
00:05:49,891 --> 00:05:50,975
Oh, yeah.
105
00:05:51,143 --> 00:05:53,477
How big was Hamlet
when you had to get rid of it?
106
00:05:53,645 --> 00:05:57,565
He was up there.
Heh. Yeah, like 300 shit-covered pounds.
107
00:05:57,733 --> 00:05:59,942
Seriously, don't dick around
with the Air Force.
108
00:06:00,110 --> 00:06:03,446
That's a top-secret base down there
and they've got surface-to-air missiles.
109
00:06:03,613 --> 00:06:04,655
Ray!
Pam.
110
00:06:04,823 --> 00:06:06,032
Ray!
Krieger.
111
00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:07,575
Ray!
What?
112
00:06:07,743 --> 00:06:08,784
God.
Damn it.
113
00:06:08,952 --> 00:06:10,411
What?
That.
114
00:06:13,373 --> 00:06:16,167
Goddamn it.
Everybody hang on.
115
00:06:17,794 --> 00:06:20,713
Goddamn it.
I said hang on.
116
00:06:20,881 --> 00:06:22,089
You know...
117
00:06:28,555 --> 00:06:30,514
Jesus Christ, Ray, do something.
118
00:06:30,682 --> 00:06:33,517
Besides fly the goddamn plane?
Oh, you're already...
119
00:06:33,685 --> 00:06:36,645
Sorry, I didn't know what the deal was.
I think I can land it.
120
00:06:36,813 --> 00:06:39,315
But I gotta put it down at Nellis.
121
00:06:39,483 --> 00:06:42,485
Where the missiles are coming from?
It's either that or crash.
122
00:06:42,652 --> 00:06:45,404
Okay, sorry, just making sure
there's not a third option...
123
00:06:45,572 --> 00:06:46,822
Get out!
124
00:06:50,243 --> 00:06:52,369
Are we gonna die?
125
00:06:54,331 --> 00:06:57,792
Not today, gorgeous, not today.
126
00:06:57,959 --> 00:07:01,337
I mean, probably today, but...
Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
127
00:07:01,505 --> 00:07:03,547
Krieger, everybody, calm down.
128
00:07:03,715 --> 00:07:05,466
Ray says he can land us at Nellis.
129
00:07:05,634 --> 00:07:07,968
You mean right at Area 51?
130
00:07:08,136 --> 00:07:10,721
Yes, Pam. Happy?
131
00:07:11,306 --> 00:07:14,683
I mean, yes.
132
00:07:19,940 --> 00:07:21,482
And who needs ice?
133
00:07:21,650 --> 00:07:23,943
It's perfectly fine without ice.
134
00:07:24,111 --> 00:07:25,861
Just ask Europe.
135
00:07:26,029 --> 00:07:27,696
Lana?
136
00:07:27,864 --> 00:07:29,240
No?
137
00:07:29,407 --> 00:07:32,076
Come in, dear.
What are you doing? Come in here.
138
00:07:33,662 --> 00:07:35,538
Hello.
Hello, dear.
139
00:07:35,705 --> 00:07:38,207
Drink?
Uh, no?
140
00:07:38,375 --> 00:07:40,793
Well, you're not missing much.
141
00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:42,128
No ice. Not a cube.
142
00:07:42,295 --> 00:07:45,256
And I can't wait to hear
her flimsy excuse this time.
143
00:07:45,423 --> 00:07:47,716
- Get out of the plane.
- Put your hands up.
144
00:07:47,884 --> 00:07:49,135
Get out of the plane.
145
00:07:49,302 --> 00:07:50,636
Now.
Let's go. Let's move.
146
00:07:53,557 --> 00:07:55,724
Wow, those guys look furious.
147
00:07:55,892 --> 00:07:58,477
Yeah, no shit. So thank you, Ray.
148
00:07:58,645 --> 00:08:00,479
For what, safely landing the plane?
149
00:08:00,647 --> 00:08:03,107
What, like that cancels out
getting it shot down?
150
00:08:03,275 --> 00:08:06,318
You were the one yapping your head off
about my damn teacup pig.
151
00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:08,571
Who I hope to see on my next BLT.
152
00:08:08,738 --> 00:08:12,241
Well, too bad, because
he went to live on a...
153
00:08:12,409 --> 00:08:14,034
A farm. Exactly.
154
00:08:14,202 --> 00:08:16,912
So unless that farm
had a magical talking spider...
155
00:08:18,415 --> 00:08:21,167
Yeah. They don't keep them around
for their milk.
156
00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:24,003
And I don't know that we're accomplishing
as much as we could be right now.
157
00:08:27,215 --> 00:08:28,674
Hm.
How about now?
158
00:08:28,842 --> 00:08:30,509
Oh, my God, I bet it's nerve gas.
159
00:08:30,677 --> 00:08:33,762
Just like they sprayed on Duddy Kravitz
in Close Encounters.
160
00:08:33,930 --> 00:08:36,557
Wait, what?
It's not nerve gas, you idiots, it's...
161
00:08:36,725 --> 00:08:39,185
Do you think the CIA's above nerve gas?
162
00:08:39,352 --> 00:08:41,729
I... Holy shit, that's right. It's the CIA.
163
00:08:41,897 --> 00:08:43,105
I've got Q clearance.
164
00:08:43,273 --> 00:08:44,398
- Really?
- What?
165
00:08:44,566 --> 00:08:46,817
What does that even mean?
It means get naked.
166
00:08:46,985 --> 00:08:49,778
Come on, let's go. Gun's out, buns out.
167
00:08:49,946 --> 00:08:51,822
- Don't shoot!
- Hands up, everybody.
168
00:08:51,990 --> 00:08:54,992
We're coming out. Don't shoot.
God. This is horse shit.
169
00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:57,369
- Great, underpants.
- Do not shoot.
170
00:08:57,537 --> 00:08:59,371
- Guys, it's okay.
- He's got a weapon.
171
00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:02,625
He's got a weapon.
Q clearance! I've got Q clearance!
172
00:09:02,792 --> 00:09:04,543
Seriously, is that even a real thing?
173
00:09:04,711 --> 00:09:06,962
Q clearance? We'll see about that.
174
00:09:07,130 --> 00:09:08,797
What's your authentication phrase?
175
00:09:08,965 --> 00:09:15,221
Sweet-44, tender-9, hot-juicy
pork chops. I didn't pick it.
176
00:09:15,388 --> 00:09:18,891
Authentication checks out, sir.
Says here he's, uh, Agent Slater.
177
00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:21,852
Huh. Well, Agent Slater...
178
00:09:22,020 --> 00:09:23,395
- What?
- Shut up.
179
00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:25,105
How'd you get
Slater's code word?
180
00:09:25,273 --> 00:09:28,943
You mind telling me why in God's green dick
you were in my airspace?
181
00:09:29,110 --> 00:09:33,822
Well, our airspace, for starters, right?
Since I have CIA clearance and all.
182
00:09:33,990 --> 00:09:37,326
And not that it's any of your business,
uh, lieutenant...
183
00:09:37,494 --> 00:09:39,161
Colonel.
Lieutenant colonel.
184
00:09:39,329 --> 00:09:43,207
But during transport of these prisoners...
Black site, pretty icky stuff.
185
00:09:43,375 --> 00:09:45,459
They attempted to overpower me...
186
00:09:45,627 --> 00:09:47,753
...forcing my pilot
to make an emergency landing...
187
00:09:47,921 --> 00:09:51,548
...but before he could radio your tower
for permission to land, boom!
188
00:09:51,716 --> 00:09:54,969
And then, well, you know the rest.
Is this true?
189
00:09:55,136 --> 00:09:58,013
Uh...
He's Israeli, so just Hebrew, unless...
190
00:10:00,016 --> 00:10:01,892
So, no, just Hebrew.
191
00:10:02,060 --> 00:10:04,812
Then how was he gonna radio the tower?
Which, I mean...
192
00:10:04,980 --> 00:10:08,190
Yeah, exactly.
And if I spoke Hebrew, I would ask him.
193
00:10:08,358 --> 00:10:12,152
Right after I ask your wife and kids
about you, but they don't know.
194
00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:15,364
They haven't seen you in a year.
They think you ran off with a stripper.
195
00:10:15,532 --> 00:10:19,410
When in reality, you were literally climbing
the walls of a farmhouse in Virginia...
196
00:10:19,577 --> 00:10:21,203
...out of your mind on LSD...
197
00:10:21,371 --> 00:10:24,999
...compliments of the CIA and MKULTRA.
Jesus Christ.
198
00:10:25,166 --> 00:10:27,751
So while you're finding me
a new airplane, Air Force guy...
199
00:10:27,919 --> 00:10:30,879
...we're gonna need
some sort of shuttle to...
200
00:10:31,047 --> 00:10:33,048
I assume you have an officer's club?
Yep.
201
00:10:33,216 --> 00:10:35,509
Jeeps! Give me two jeeps
up here on the double.
202
00:10:35,677 --> 00:10:37,052
Jeeps, goddamn it, jeeps!
203
00:10:40,515 --> 00:10:42,933
I'm sorry?
You're sure you don't want a drink?
204
00:10:43,101 --> 00:10:45,227
Yeah, in the low 90's on that.
205
00:10:45,395 --> 00:10:46,854
Suit yourself.
206
00:10:47,022 --> 00:10:49,398
So. And how is our little Abbiejean?
207
00:10:49,733 --> 00:10:51,692
Oh, yeah, she's good.
208
00:10:51,860 --> 00:10:54,570
Great, actually.
And I'm really liking her nanny.
209
00:10:54,738 --> 00:10:58,574
Mm. Hispanic?
Ah. She's actually Polish.
210
00:10:58,742 --> 00:11:00,159
Is that supposed to be better?
211
00:11:00,327 --> 00:11:01,660
What? No. They're both...
212
00:11:01,828 --> 00:11:02,995
Abbiejean.
213
00:11:03,163 --> 00:11:04,663
That's from where, again?
214
00:11:04,831 --> 00:11:06,999
Again, it was my grandmother's name.
215
00:11:07,584 --> 00:11:10,502
Hm. You know what I think
would be wonderful?
216
00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:14,673
A border moat?
Is if she had her grandmother's name.
217
00:11:14,841 --> 00:11:18,177
Well, yeah, and obviously I talked to my...
Mother of God, you mean you.
218
00:11:19,429 --> 00:11:21,180
- Thoughts?
- They don't have my brands.
219
00:11:21,348 --> 00:11:23,432
I don't even recognize most of these.
220
00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:26,185
Maybe instead of worrying about
what cocktails to make...
221
00:11:26,353 --> 00:11:29,772
That's what I'm saying, Cyril.
I don't even know if I can make cocktails.
222
00:11:29,939 --> 00:11:32,941
What the hell's the Air Force
spending all those kajillions on?
223
00:11:33,109 --> 00:11:34,526
"O'Dublin Tequila"?
224
00:11:34,694 --> 00:11:37,780
Vodka, maybe. They obviously know
their way around a potato, but...
225
00:11:37,947 --> 00:11:41,116
My point is maybe you should worry
about what's gonna happen to us...
226
00:11:41,284 --> 00:11:45,204
...when they find out you're not Slater.
I should worry about all kinds of shit.
227
00:11:45,372 --> 00:11:47,539
But you know what they say
about stress.
228
00:11:50,460 --> 00:11:51,710
Come on, anybody?
229
00:11:54,297 --> 00:11:56,131
Exactly, the silent killer.
230
00:11:59,469 --> 00:12:01,428
What?
What is wrong with you?
231
00:12:01,596 --> 00:12:04,348
Jesus, use your talking words.
Just slap her.
232
00:12:04,516 --> 00:12:08,018
Ho... Ho... Holy shit-snacks.
Did you guys see that?
233
00:12:08,186 --> 00:12:09,561
- See what?
- What are you talking about?
234
00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:11,605
It was... It... It...
Just slap him.
235
00:12:11,773 --> 00:12:13,065
Come on.
236
00:12:13,233 --> 00:12:15,567
Ugh. Where are you going?
237
00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:17,986
Oh, goddamn it.
You think?
238
00:12:18,154 --> 00:12:19,738
Yeah, it's worse than I thought.
239
00:12:21,116 --> 00:12:22,324
We might even have to use sour mix.
240
00:12:22,492 --> 00:12:24,701
I am talking about
Pam and Krieger...
241
00:12:24,869 --> 00:12:28,205
...running around a top-secret
military installation in their underwear!
242
00:12:28,373 --> 00:12:31,333
When they're supposed to be prisoners.
Yeah, that's no good, huh?
243
00:12:31,501 --> 00:12:34,211
They'll probably shoot them on sight.
Heh-heh.
244
00:12:34,462 --> 00:12:35,963
Well?
Well, what, Cyril?
245
00:12:36,131 --> 00:12:39,174
Yes, obviously I'm gonna go after them.
246
00:12:44,180 --> 00:12:46,515
So just calm down,
do something with your hands.
247
00:12:46,683 --> 00:12:48,183
Uh, cut some limes.
248
00:12:49,602 --> 00:12:52,521
Security breach, Sector 9.
249
00:12:52,689 --> 00:12:56,024
No, but seriously, Cyril,
cut some limes.
250
00:12:56,192 --> 00:12:59,111
Like, six.
251
00:13:03,199 --> 00:13:06,869
Security breach, Sector 9.
252
00:13:07,036 --> 00:13:10,122
You think that's for us?
I don't know. What sector is this?
253
00:13:10,290 --> 00:13:13,208
What am I, this map? Oh, wait.
254
00:13:13,376 --> 00:13:15,711
Oh, crap, this is totally nine.
255
00:13:15,879 --> 00:13:17,296
Eh. Could be a coincidence.
256
00:13:17,464 --> 00:13:18,881
Yeah, like just a fire drill.
257
00:13:19,048 --> 00:13:22,301
Although it's probably because
they found that poor kid you clobbered.
258
00:13:22,469 --> 00:13:26,096
You don't think I killed him, do you?
What am I, a doctor?
259
00:13:26,264 --> 00:13:28,098
Heh-heh. Ouch.
260
00:13:28,266 --> 00:13:30,350
So guess Pam came through here.
261
00:13:30,518 --> 00:13:33,729
Jesus, it's like tracking a bear.
262
00:13:34,439 --> 00:13:37,065
Wait, you're breathing though, right?
263
00:13:38,443 --> 00:13:41,069
Attaboy, shake it off.
Bet you probably just have a brain...
264
00:13:41,237 --> 00:13:42,946
Freeze.
265
00:13:43,114 --> 00:13:45,532
Hey, guys.
Drop it. I said drop it.
266
00:13:51,748 --> 00:13:52,873
It was empty anyway.
267
00:13:53,041 --> 00:13:54,958
The weapon. Drop the weapon.
268
00:13:55,126 --> 00:13:57,794
What, on the floor? Are you serious?
269
00:13:57,962 --> 00:14:01,089
Hey, you may not know this,
since I assume you get yours for free...
270
00:14:01,257 --> 00:14:04,551
...but guns are actually pretty expensive.
I'm gonna count to three.
271
00:14:04,719 --> 00:14:05,969
Count to whatever you want.
272
00:14:06,137 --> 00:14:09,056
A hundred thousand.
Mm-hm.
273
00:14:09,224 --> 00:14:11,517
Dollars.
Mm...
274
00:14:11,684 --> 00:14:13,435
To name my kid after you?
275
00:14:13,603 --> 00:14:17,356
I think it's quite generous.
I think it's quite bat-shit insane.
276
00:14:17,524 --> 00:14:19,691
Well, I... And Ron can afford it and...
277
00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:24,112
I'm not selling you the naming rights,
Malory. She's not a fricking bowl game.
278
00:14:26,449 --> 00:14:27,824
Ugh.
279
00:14:27,992 --> 00:14:29,034
Oh, now...
280
00:14:31,955 --> 00:14:34,414
I mean, if it means that much to you...
281
00:14:37,168 --> 00:14:42,422
...I guess maybe Malory
could be her middle name.
282
00:14:42,590 --> 00:14:43,757
Really?
283
00:14:45,301 --> 00:14:46,885
Yes.
284
00:14:47,053 --> 00:14:50,806
Well, obviously that's not worth
a hundred thousand dollars, but...
285
00:14:50,974 --> 00:14:52,891
Fifty?
Pfft. Twenty-two-five...
286
00:14:53,059 --> 00:14:58,230
...and I want a notarized copy of the revised
birth certificate on my desk by Friday.
287
00:14:58,398 --> 00:15:00,649
I...
Oh, and christen her in a white church...
288
00:15:00,817 --> 00:15:03,110
...and I'll kick in five more.
289
00:15:04,237 --> 00:15:05,529
Wow.
290
00:15:05,697 --> 00:15:06,780
Real life ETs.
291
00:15:06,948 --> 00:15:09,700
My God, I hope we find them.
I have so many questions.
292
00:15:09,867 --> 00:15:12,452
Heh. Like what?
How to build a better anal probe?
293
00:15:12,620 --> 00:15:15,789
Right? I bet their anal technology
is light-years ahead of mine.
294
00:15:15,957 --> 00:15:18,417
A light-year's a unit of length, dipshit.
295
00:15:18,585 --> 00:15:21,044
Well, whatever then. Parsecs.
Length.
296
00:15:21,212 --> 00:15:22,421
I... Hey, you know what?
297
00:15:22,589 --> 00:15:25,966
I know how far light travels in a vacuum
in a Julian year.
298
00:15:26,134 --> 00:15:30,095
Oh. Very good, Pamela.
299
00:15:30,263 --> 00:15:32,848
I... That... My... I...
300
00:15:33,016 --> 00:15:34,600
You know my name?
301
00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:37,853
Yes, Pamela.
And yours, Algernop.
302
00:15:38,021 --> 00:15:40,188
But... But... But... English?
303
00:15:41,774 --> 00:15:43,567
Yeah, head.
304
00:15:43,735 --> 00:15:44,860
Head.
305
00:15:45,028 --> 00:15:47,487
Pam, I think he means telepathy.
306
00:15:47,655 --> 00:15:50,532
Holy shit, like in Scanners?
307
00:15:50,700 --> 00:15:51,992
No.
308
00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:54,161
No, no, wait. I have Q clearance.
309
00:15:54,329 --> 00:15:56,330
Bullshit. Firing in three...
310
00:15:56,497 --> 00:15:58,540
...two...
No, stop it. Look, I'm serious.
311
00:15:58,708 --> 00:16:02,002
Just radio Lieutenant Colonel.
He can straighten this whole thing out.
312
00:16:02,170 --> 00:16:04,087
Lieutenant Colonel who?
What?
313
00:16:04,255 --> 00:16:06,590
Lieutenant Colonel who?
314
00:16:07,216 --> 00:16:08,634
Oh, my God.
315
00:16:08,801 --> 00:16:12,220
Whoa. Wow.
All right, this is pretty embarrassing.
316
00:16:12,388 --> 00:16:17,225
I thought that guy was a lieutenant,
and that his last name was Colonel.
317
00:16:17,393 --> 00:16:19,436
In three, two...
Wait!
318
00:16:19,604 --> 00:16:23,940
Goddamn it. Look, I was just trying
to get home from Vegas.
319
00:16:24,233 --> 00:16:27,235
So, okay, here, you can have my weapon.
320
00:16:27,403 --> 00:16:29,279
But I do have some conditions.
321
00:16:29,447 --> 00:16:30,864
Uh, what conditions?
322
00:16:31,032 --> 00:16:33,033
Well, you're not gonna like them.
323
00:16:48,508 --> 00:16:49,549
Whew.
324
00:16:49,717 --> 00:16:53,679
And not to knock the Air Force,
but good thing you guys have airplanes.
325
00:16:53,846 --> 00:16:56,264
Unh. I got a cousin in the Air Force.
326
00:16:56,432 --> 00:16:59,309
Brian. I should give him a call.
327
00:16:59,477 --> 00:17:01,144
Should we, uh...?
328
00:17:01,312 --> 00:17:03,522
Guys, I really feel like
we should be doing something.
329
00:17:03,690 --> 00:17:06,483
Ugh. We are.
Come on, nothing by The Drifters?
330
00:17:06,651 --> 00:17:10,237
Tams? The Dominoes? The Embers?
They call this classic rock.
331
00:17:10,738 --> 00:17:12,906
What is this, Myrtle Beach?
332
00:17:13,074 --> 00:17:16,493
Ray, is this Myrtle Beach?
No.
333
00:17:17,870 --> 00:17:19,871
And that, my dear Earthlings...
334
00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:24,167
...is the key to understanding
the entire universe.
335
00:17:24,335 --> 00:17:27,337
Well, at least as we understand it.
336
00:17:27,505 --> 00:17:28,922
Yes.
337
00:17:29,340 --> 00:17:33,635
Take us with you.
338
00:17:33,803 --> 00:17:35,971
I will, if you shut up.
339
00:17:37,432 --> 00:17:39,224
Wha...?
340
00:17:42,311 --> 00:17:45,313
What the hell, Krieger?
Did you shove your dick in a socket?
341
00:17:45,481 --> 00:17:48,400
Did...? Did...? Did...? Ouch!
342
00:17:48,568 --> 00:17:50,736
Krieger, I am in no mood.
Now get dressed.
343
00:17:50,903 --> 00:17:54,030
Ugh. Seriously?
Yes, seriously.
344
00:17:54,198 --> 00:17:58,744
We're gonna walk out of this building, into
a hangar, and steal an Air Force plane.
345
00:17:58,911 --> 00:18:01,705
While we're doing that,
I could do with less shit from you...
346
00:18:01,873 --> 00:18:04,583
...since all I wanted was a ride home.
347
00:18:04,751 --> 00:18:07,753
On my private jet.
Wha...? Yes.
348
00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:10,922
Can...? Can we talk for a second
about what happened?
349
00:18:11,090 --> 00:18:15,886
Uh, is that before or after Krieger
sexually assaulted a 220 outlet?
350
00:18:16,053 --> 00:18:17,179
Area 51.
351
00:18:17,346 --> 00:18:19,848
No. You guys, I swear, they were al...
352
00:18:20,016 --> 00:18:21,850
Pam, seriously, get your shit together.
353
00:18:22,018 --> 00:18:25,145
We have to go steal a plane
from the United States Air Force.
354
00:18:27,356 --> 00:18:30,650
Which not as hard as I would've thought.
355
00:18:34,906 --> 00:18:36,406
Yeah? You guys good?
356
00:18:36,574 --> 00:18:38,325
If you want a drink, just... Wha...?
357
00:18:39,243 --> 00:18:41,703
Because it's just de-icing fluid
and Tang.
358
00:18:41,871 --> 00:18:43,288
Tell me.
359
00:18:43,706 --> 00:18:45,499
Tell me you saw them.
I...
360
00:18:45,666 --> 00:18:49,336
Pam, I saw a blinding white flash,
that's it. No ET, no ALF...
361
00:18:49,504 --> 00:18:51,671
But... But you believe me, don't you?
362
00:18:51,839 --> 00:18:53,840
You believe I'm telling the truth.
363
00:18:55,718 --> 00:18:58,678
Pam, the truth is out there.
364
00:19:00,056 --> 00:19:01,598
So you do believe me?
365
00:19:01,766 --> 00:19:04,726
Heh. No. You stupid idiot.
366
00:19:04,894 --> 00:19:07,562
Alrighty then,
I think I'm sufficiently drunk enough...
367
00:19:07,730 --> 00:19:11,149
- ...so who's up for Branson?
- Yay!
368
00:19:11,317 --> 00:19:14,069
- Swearsies, realsies?
- Yeah.
369
00:19:14,403 --> 00:19:16,905
Does this thing have bombs on it?
29002
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