Original subtitles

♪

♪

- Hey, sibs! Remember when we had our DNA tested?

Come on, sure you do! A neat little kit came in the mail,

we spit into a tube, we sent it back to a genetic testing service,

and now third-parties, governments, and law enforcement agencies

of unprecedented levels have access to our personal genomes?

- No. - Not really.

- Me neither, but the results are back! WAKKO/DOT: Yay!

- Ooh! Apparently, we have sticky earwax,

extra hairy belly buttons,

and we're in the 99 percentile of Neanderthals.

- Ooh!

Does it say what kind of animal we are?

- Nope, but it does tell us if we have

any DNA relatives we didn't know about.

[click, beeping]

ALL: [gasp] No way!

- Wait.

[all yelling]

- So, uh, what I'm saying is... [straining]

I've been a good boy and deserve a money treat.

[groans]

Or, at least basic health "insurgence."

NORA: Paying a monthly gym membership is so ridiculous

when I can work out from the comfort of my own office, don't you agree?

- [groans] I think my stomach needs to go to the cemetery.

ALL: Nora!

[laughing]

- [kiss] Just look at you.

I can't believe how tall you've gotten.

- So, when can we expect grandchildren?

I can't wait to spoil the little ones, while I judge your parenting.

- Ralph! Do something!

- Duh, okay!

♪ ballet music ♪

- No! Kick them out! [grunts]

[Warners screaming]

[grunts]

- Duh, okay!

♪

Duh-- [screaming]

[thud] [church bell]

- We're just trying to spend quality time with you.

Our DNA test said we're your family.

- [scoffs] If I trusted every test I took,

I'd be in a hospital for the criminally insane!

[maniacal laugh]

- Hey! What's this?

[cranking, pop]

[gasp] A family reunion!

- Ooh! Can I be the weird uncle with the girlfriend nobody likes?

- You're not invited because we're not related!

Besides, you don't wanna meet my family.

Our reunions are so competitive that the three-legged race

was suspended due to doping allegations.

And they weren't just allegations.

I'm still full of horse adrenaline.

[horse neigh]

The only Norita worth her salt is my great-grandmother.

She's the only reason I'm going.

- [gasp] Ooh! Who's our great-grandmother?

- My Great-Grandmother Flora is the greatest businesswoman alive!

- Ah! [grunts] - She rose through the ranks

to become the head of Mucho Teléfono,

the parent company of Warner Brothers!

- Sounds like a great lady. Shame we'll never meet her

because we're definitely not going to the family reunion, just like you asked.

Right, sibs? - Right!

- [whisper]: So, is weird Uncle Wakko inviting Tina to this reunion or what?

- Another work conflict effectively handled.

You see, Nora?

And that's why you were named "savviest under 70"

by Head Honcho Magazine.

- Duh, you said it, ma'am!

Uh, now, uh, getting back

to the question of my conversation...

- Ralph, if you wanna prove how invaluable you are,

go retrieve my kettle bell.

- Yes, ma'am!

[laughing] [smash]

[groaning] [thud, church bell]

♪ fancy music ♪

CORA: [scoffs] Mom, can we go now?

My friends and I have plans to sit in a parking lot and look at our phones!

- Cora, we should at least stay and say hello

to Great-Grandmother Flora.

She's not going to be around forever, you know.

- Well, well, well. If it isn't our dear little sister.

Nora.

♪

- I know how much you make, and it's more than this.

- Yeah. You really put the dud in your duds.

- Mora, Theodora.

I'm surprised you made it.

I thought you'd be too busy sunning on a hot rock

or shedding your skin.

- Oh, cool. Snake reference.

What? Did you just read a snake book, snake nerd?

[clock chime]

[chiming]

[wind blowing, thunder]

♪

[thunder]

- [inhale] - Speech! Speech!

- Yes, obviously that is what I'm about to do.

[clears throat] It means so much for me

to see the blurry shapes

of everyone gathered here today.

But tonight is not just

an ordinary family reunion.

- Why not? - Obviously, I was about to explain.

Tonight, I will host a little competition

for all my potential heirs,

and the winner will inherit

my fabulous estate!

[gasps, screaming]

- Ooh! A contest? Count us in, Gam Gam!

- Uh huh. I assume this is going to be a classic

"chocolate factory tour to see who's most deserving" type of thing.

Right? - And if not,

we're also willing to go full Hunger Games.

[hawk screech]

- Who are you? You see them, too, yes?

- We're the Norita Brothers! - And the Norita Sister!

WARNERS: We're your new relatives!

♪

- Uh, sorry, Great Grandmother Flora! They're nobody.

- Is this true? I warn you.

I watch a lot of Tucker Carlson,

so I am very gullible.

Ah! - Of course it's true!

And we've got the DNA results to prove it!

DOT: See? We're you're great-great-grand cousins once bitten twice removed

on your brother's side.

So, what do you say?

Can we enter your competition? - Please?

Pretty, pretty please?

- With Cousin Gary on top? [baby cooing]

- Of course you can, my dears. [laughs]

In fact,

you've already won the first challenge. [Nora gasps]

- We have? [crowd gasping]

- Yes! I needed someone to fix my computer!

Now, I can finally print

my emails again.

- How'd you fix the computer, Yakko? - I just plugged it in.

♪

[growls] - In each round,

one of you will be brutally eliminated

for comedically failing at your task.

[laughs]

Come now! It is time to find out

who loves their Grandmama the most!

- ♪ Hey, Flora Dora, hoo, Flora Dora ♪

♪ Ha, Flora Dora, hoo ♪

♪ Ha, Flora Dora ♪

♪ Flobbity flay ♪

♪ She plans to give her riches away ♪

♪ Flora Dora, fanna the flames ♪

♪ Only the worthiest wins at these games ♪

♪ What if your grandmother's kitty gets loose? ♪

♪ Under the porch or climbed up in a spruce ♪

♪ If you want to win at this fabulous fête ♪

♪ You must care for her exotic pets ♪

♪ Hey, Flora Dora ♪

♪ Hoo, Flora Dora ♪

♪ Ha, Flora Dora ♪

♪ Flora Dora, floopity floo ♪

♪ One got the boot, now onto round two ♪

♪ Flora Dora, flappity flong ♪

♪ She forced us to learn and practice this song ♪

♪ Now, you must make a delectable treat ♪

♪ That the Norita family eats ♪

♪ You know the rules of reality shows ♪

♪ The one without a cake must go ♪

♪ Hey, Flora Dora, hoo, Flora Dora ♪

♪ Ha, Flora Dora ♪

♪ Can you admire the albums she keeps ♪

♪ They start in the '20s, so don't fall asleep ♪

♪ Rows of dead ancestors in the background ♪

♪ If you are bored, than you have lost this round ♪

♪ Flora Dora, crema de cream ♪

♪ Though all her methods seem quite extreme ♪

♪ Flora Dora, all she wants to do ♪

♪ Is have a pleasant visit with you ♪

♪ Is have a pleasant visit with you... ♪

- Congratulations, my dears!

You are the last ones in the competition.

- Gee, I almost forgot it was a competition.

- We just loved getting to know you.

- More tea and cookies, Great Gammy?

- No cookies!

Grandma Flora, can't you see?

They just wanna get their sticky little paws on the family fortune.

Flora hasn't worked her entire life

to give her money to parasites like you.

Money isn't something to be given away!

It's something to be hoarded and held over the heads of the less fortunate!

- Oh, Nora, my sweet...

[kiss]

You're such a disappointment.

Have I taught you nothing?

It is not enough to grow the business.

We must grow our family as well.

WARNERS: Aw...

- You're my best relatives!

You've won my fortune!

Barring any unlikely last minute revelations.

[cheering] [growling]

[knocking]

♪

- Stop everything! I have a last minute revelation!

[thunder]

There's been a terrible mistake!

- Who are you?

- Madam, I work at the genetic mix-up department

at 23 & WB.

I only hope I got here in time to stop you from giving away your estate

to the winner of a series of carnival games.

But I see by these broken frames I may be too late.

- How do you know all this?

- I work for a genetic testing service.

I know everything that was, everything that is, and everything that will be.

Mind your step, by the way. - Ah!

- I'm sorry, kids, but your DNA results were switched with...

- Ralphonzo!

[gasping]

- Look! A brown dime!

- Ralph, that's a penny. What are you doing here?

- Duh! I got your kettle bell, Ms. Nora!

Sorry it took so long, but it fell on a snake,

so I took it to a snake doctor,

and she told me it was just a garden hose.

But then, I took it to the hardware store,

and they said it was a snake!

So, somebody is lying to me...

- It is not possible! It can't be!

Dear brother Ralphonzo!

- Duh, what's happening?

- Yeah, you said it, Ralph!

[imitating]: Duh, what's happening?

- Look, everyone! He is the spitting image

of my favorite brother, Ralphonzo!

[all gasp]

♪

RALPH: And-and-and-a-a-and

we should do a movie about flaming meatballs

that are superheroes!

So, one day, a giant meatball crashes into the Earth,

and a baby meatball comes out of it,

which is totally different from Superman.

And then, he grows up

and finds other warm, delicious meatballs,

and they can have their own superpowers, too!

Then, this bad guy,

Mr. Fridge, which is totally different from Mr. Freeze--

tries to make them all cold.

So, they smash themselves together to form

a super-snowball!

But out of meat.

Which brings us back to meatballs,

and there you go.

All tied up in a bow for you.

Can you read that back to me?

- No, absolutely not!

- Then, I'll say it again!

- Please don't. P For Pancetta,

Stew-icide Squad, and Wonder Woman Bread have already

been fast-tracked.

Any more of your foolish ideas, and you'll bankrupt this studio!

- Nora! You need to listen to my long lost great nephew.

After all, as chairman, he is your new boss.

- [sighs] Yes, Great Grandma Flora.

[beep]

Ah! Hyah! [smash]

[shatter]

[thud] [church bell]

[beep, whir]

- It sure is crazy how the DNA testing service

swapped our DNA with Ralph's.

- Yup. Our real results were exactly what we thought they'd be.

100% Termite Terrace.

- So, Ralph runs Warner Brothers now?

What a dramatic end of season cliffhanger!

- How will we get out of this sticky wicket?

- Sounds like a problem for next season.

If there is one...

- Guess we'll wait here until they make more new episodes,

just like we did in the '90s...

- This time, I wonder if we'll dream...

♪

♪