Original subtitles

♪

♪ Colonial era-style music ♪

BENJAMIN FRANKLIN: Let's see. "Penny saved is a penny you still have."

No, no, no, no, no!

"Penny saved is worth two in the bush."

No, no, no!

Confound it all!

It's too cold to think! I'm having brain freeze!

[coughing] [hissing]

Blasted stove!

[grunts]

[grunts] Huh? [knocking]

Yes, what is it?

- We're the Brothers Warner! - And the Brothers Warner's sister, Dot!

- We saw in the paper that you're looking for an apprentice.

- Mm, no. I believe you're mistaken. Goodbye!

- But we saw it right here, in the "claffifieds."

- It's classifieds, not claffifieds!

- Really? Looks like you "miffpelled" it.

- How dare you! I did no such thing.

- Oh-ho-ho! We could do without the attitude, "mifter"!

- So "unneceffary."

- I'm sorry. I don't have time to entertain visitors at the moment.

I have to fix my blasted fireplace before I freeze to death! WARNERS: Wait!

- You've got to help us! - We need an apprenticeship,

or we'll be stuck out in the cold!

- Come on, Frankie!

We've been all over town looking for work!

We got turned down by the blacksmith, the silversmith, the locksmith...

- The Sam-Smith offered us a job, but...

- ♪ Stay with me, Warners ♪

♪ One dame, two esquires ♪

♪ For thine zany presence ♪

♪ Is all I require ♪

- Ugh. He's a little clingy.

No. Thank. You.

♪ sad music playing ♪

- Think about it, Frankie!

You need a hand around here, and we need a place to stay.

Because... - Be gone, vile peasants!

I have a stove to fix!

YAKKO: Well, there's your problem. - Ah!

You got a straight-o where there should be a curvy,

and a curvy where there should be a straight-o.

[banging, clanging, smashing]

There!

- Why, it's brilliant!

- Smoke goes out, heat stays in.

And all it took was a little kink.

FRANKLIN: It's perfect.

I have to spread the word. Wait! No!

I must get to the patent office.

Every household in the colonies is gonna want...

a Franklin stove!

- Unbelievable.

I was gonna call it Yakko's Piping Hot Stovepipe Benderama!

- Yeah. Maybe keep pitching on that.

♪

- Apprentices! Where are my glasses?

- They're right between your nose and your eyebrows.

- No, no. These are my regular glasses.

I don't need my regular glasses.

I need my reading glasses.

- Well, they couldn't have gone far.

Here, boy! [kissing]

[whimpering, shivering] There you are!

You gave us quite a fright, didn't you?

Who gave us a fright?

You did! You did! [barking]

FRANKLIN: Come here! [crunch]

- You know, sweetie, you wouldn't lose them if you kept them on your face.

- Two pairs of glasses at once?

That's rich. How do you propose I do that?

- Allow me!

Careful... Careful now...

[exclaims]

- Imbecile! You've destroyed my spectacles!

- Oh. I suppose I have. Hang on.

There.

Top's for looking, bottom's for booking.

- One pair of spectacles

with two focal lengths! Incredible!

I dare say these bifocal lenses

are my greatest invention yet!

- Your greatest invention?! - Hm? What's that? Oh, that's right.

[scary voice] Mine.

- Alright, what gives, pal? We're doing all the work around here,

and you're taking all the credit!

- Well, the credit is mine after all.

Did you not read your apprenticeship contract?

All ideas, inventions, improvements, and improvisations

devised by the apprentices shall become property

of their employer.

Which is me.

- We must've skimmed over that part.

- I told you to read it slowly.

After all, haste makes waste.

FRANKLIN: That includes pithy aphorisms.

What'd you say? "Haste... makes... waste."

Short, memorable, and it rhymes,

so everyone will think I'm clever!

Perfect! [laughs]

Well, off to the patent office.

Or should I go to the publishing house first?

Wait, I know. The bank!

ALL: Hey!

- You can't just steal all our ideas

and claim them as your own!

- We can expose you, you know! - Ah, bup-bup-bup, careful.

It's still a family show. - Oh, I'm so scared.

And who will the people believe?

You, a lowly apprentice?

Or me, Benjamin Franklin?

Everyone knows I keep it 100.

Now, I can trust you to keep our little arrangement

to yourselves, yes?

- Alright, Warners, we have two choices.

We can walk away from this situation in a calm and professional manner,

or we can annoy him with our zany antics.

Now, before you decide-- BOTH: Antics! Antics!

- Well, who am I to argue with the people?

Cue the antics!

♪

- Hm. Will I need a jacket today?

Ah, sunny and warm. I guess not.

[pen scratching]

[thunder, rain]

[scream] Ah!

Confound it!

[grunts]

[birds chirping]

Ah! [panting]

What is wrong with the blasted weather today?

♪

[thunder] [screaming]

[groans]

[sighs] [rumbling]

[yelling]

Ah! [wind blowing]

[grunts]

[panting] [buzzing]

[screaming]

[growling]

[grunts]

[screaming]

Ah, that's the stuff.

- Ugh.

♪

- Let's see.

Address the Continental Congress at 7:00.

Perfect. Just enough time for a quick jam sesh.

♪

[sighs] Boy, I love classical music.

Or as I like to call it, music.

Wait a minute...

[struggling, mumbling]

[groaning]

[laughter]

But we must ask ourselves

will history remember us

as revolutionaries or as traitors?

Nevertheless, we must all hang together, [laughter continues]

or assuredly we will hang separately! Ow!

[screaming, crash] [laughter]

[Yakko laughing] - We hold this comedy to be self-evident!

- You said it, Hancock!

We're allowed to say that, right?

- Apprentices!

[smash] I've had enough of your shenanigans.

You've overstayed your welcome,

and I want you out of this workshop!

[door creaking, falls over]

- Okay. We'll leave.

- Yeah, we were on the cusp of a huge scientific breakthrough.

But, if that's not your thing-- FRANKLIN: Scientific breakthrough?

No, no! Those are very much my thing! Tell me more!

- Well, we can tell you, but it'd be better to show you.

♪

- We call it the lightning rod.

- I love it. Remind me to write it down.

- Will do, Benny-boo.

Now, just hold that sword way up high.

Make sure the big angry cloud over there can see it.

- [muffled]: Okay!

♪

[yelling]

[fizzling]

[ding]

[wheezing]

- I guess you could call him the original...

grounding father. [gulp]

♪