Original subtitles

[thunder]

♪ Pinky & the Brain theme ♪

- Gee, Brain, what do you wanna do tonight?

- The same thing we do every night, Pinky.

Try to take over the world! [thunder]

♪

- ♪ They're Pinky and the Brain ♪

♪ Yes, Pinky and the Brain ♪

♪ One is a genius ♪

♪ The other's insane ♪

♪ They're laboratory mice ♪

♪ Their genes have been spliced ♪

♪ They're dinky, they're Pinky and the Brain ♪

♪ Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain ♪

♪

♪

BRAIN: Behold, Pinky. Acme Labs' newly acquired computer.

Capable of over 1,000 calculations a second,

and it weighs a mere 29,000 pounds.

- And you carry it so well, darling!

- If this young decade has shown us anything,

it's that folk music is here to stay.

So, I have programmed this computer

to scientifically engineer a perfect melody

that is sure to become the next chart-topping hit.

[beeping, whirring]

Once my tune climbs the pop charts,

I will be invited onto the ne plus ultra of American culture,

the Ed Sullivan Show!

There, before an audience of millions,

I will unleash this! - Narf!

That's one smart-looking bow tie.

You look like a millionaire playboy race car driver's ventriloquist doll, Brain.

- Just what I was going for.

It's a hyper-optic stimulator

tuned to the chemical signature of white phosphorus,

which will destabilize the vacuum tubes

of every black and white TV set in America.

- Egad, Brain! That sure sounds like

a bunch of nonsensical mumbo jumbo!

But I'm sure it's not, and you've done a lot of research

into how black and white TV works in this time period.

- Indeed I have, Pinky.

When Father rises from his recliner to bang the TV

back into working order... [whirring]

he will find that the slightest touch

will put him into a state of prolonged electro-paralysis.

[whirring]

With America's fathers neutralized,

our nation's youth will turn to me for paternal guidance.

- Oh good. I have some questions about my changing body.

- Silence, Pinky.

You must prepare yourself. For tonight,

we must journey to a place so dark and twisted,

every moment we tarry there we risk descending

into agonizing madness.

An open mic night.

- Oh, I'd love to go, Brain, really,

but me and some student activists are going to occupy the university

to oppose an unelected elite drafting us to fight an unjust war.

And get some pizza. BRAIN: Oh, Pinky,

you're so easily influenced.

Now, come do my more important thing.

- Okay! [clattering]

[chewing, smacking] Mm...

Narfy. [gulp]

- Blast! Why did I leave writing lyrics until the last minute?

What rhymes with "anaerobic cell respiration?"

- Oh, you'll be fine, Brain.

Here, maybe one of these crackers will settle your stomach.

[crunch]

- Pinky, those are rocks.

- [laugh] Well, that explains why me tummy feels like it's maracas.

[rattling] HOSTESS: Okay, up next,

we have a new nobody nobody's ever heard of and nobody will.

- You hear that, Pinky? Everyone already hates me.

There's no way I'll make it onto Ed Sullivan's TV show.

Come, Pinky, this plan is hopeless. [grunt]

- Don't worry, Brain.

[bonk] We'll just sing from the heart. I'll help.

- Please welcome to the stage, The Brain.

♪

- Um, hello. I...

[mic feedback] [screaming]

I'm The Brain. - And I'm Narfunkel!

That's a stage name I just came up with.

Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

- Yes. Well, this is our song.

.Prepare your cerebellums for maximum enjoyment.

♪ folksy melody playing ♪

- ♪ A morning gone, and the cupboard bare and empty ♪

♪ Now then, what to eat? ♪

♪ Grazing at the table ♪

♪ No one say no, and I didn't have to ♪

BOTH: ♪ Spend a speck of dough ♪

♪ I ate a rock ♪

♪ 'Cause I missed breakfast ♪

- ♪ I ate a rock ♪ - ♪ He ate a rock ♪

- ♪ 'Cause I missed breakfast ♪ - ♪ 'Cause he missed breakfast ♪

PINKY: ♪ And it tasted bad ♪

♪ A little bland and chalky ♪

♪ It gave me tummy troubles ♪ [groaning]

♪ All night long, oh dear ♪

[guitar continues] [smack, crash]

BRAIN: ♪ He has these poor fools thinking ♪

♪ It's a profound metaphor, but it's not ♪

♪ He just has pica, nothing more ♪

♪ He ate a rock ♪ - ♪ I ate a rock ♪

♪ I'm like a dumpster, narf! ♪ - ♪ He's like a dumpster ♪

♪ He ate a rock ♪ - ♪ I ate a rock ♪

♪ I'm just like a dumpster! ♪ - ♪ Just like a dumpster ♪

PINKY: ♪ I love our fans! They're groovy ♪ BRAIN: ♪ I hate our fans ♪

♪ They're spoiled Baby Boomers ♪ PINKY: ♪ And they're grimy ♪

♪ They're human puppies ♪ BRAIN: ♪ They hang around ♪

♪ He can't say no ♪ PINKY: ♪ I can't say no ♪

♪ This montage rocks! ♪

♪ I'm having fun! [laugh] ♪

♪ I ate a rock ♪ BRAIN: ♪ He ate a rock ♪

BOTH: ♪ And now we're famous ♪

PINKY: ♪ I ate a rock ♪ BRAIN: ♪ He ate a rock ♪

BOTH: ♪ And now we're famous ♪

- Narf! [crowd cheering]

♪

Brain, you have to meet my new groovy friends.

This is Symphony, this is Binx,

and this is Catfish Joan.

- We're not here to make friends, Pinky.

We're here to take over the world!

- Take over the world? You sound like my dad, man.

- Yeah, Brain. You sound like my dad.

Or at least the hand puppet the scientists pretended was my dad.

BRAIN: Alright, that's enough.

[glass shatter] [screaming]

- Brain! What are you doing!? You can't kick out all my friends!

- Ha! They're not friends!

They're fair weather fans!

I'm your real friend, Pinky. Now, be a pal and throw out

this garbage. [rattling]

- You're not being a real friend.

A real friend would let me eat the garbage.

- Stop harshing our Narfunkel, man.

- Yeah! Especially 'cause I'm the one

who wrote all the song words.

- They're called lyrics.

And don't forget who created the tune. - Um,

your computer? - Oh, hang on.

I don't know who this "Computer" guy is,

but if he's doing all the work,

then why do you need this uptight square?

- Oh, come on, guys.

Binxy, Catfish Joan,

we're all travelers on this journey together, right?

[screaming]

[grunting] [thud]

Bah! Forget it. I don't need Pinky.

This bleached cow skull would make a better assistant.

Say, bleached cow skull,

are you pondering what I'm pondering?

Exactly!

I will get on Ed Sullivan

and take over the world by myself.

Surely, that fool Pinky will regret abandoning me.

[hissing] [screaming, wailing]

[humming]

[laughter]

- So, how's your new solo project coming along, babe?

- Poit! Well, I'll be honest, it was a lot easier

when Brain used his computer to write the tune.

Actually, a lot of things were easier when Brain was around. [sniffle]

He told me what to do and what not to do.

He reminded me to breathe.

[air hissing] [groan, gasp]

[grunt] Gee, I miss him.

- You're bumming me out. Let's hear your new track, Jack.

- Okay! Listen to this new groovy tune I came up with!

♪

♪ experimental music ♪

♪ Denver omelet ♪

♪ Syrup over Hollandaise, squirt that ketchup... ♪

- Ew, this is terrible.

MALE FAN: My ears are throwing up!

♪ experimental music continues ♪

- ♪ You got to order yourself some hash browns ♪

♪ It's French fries for breakfast... ♪

Egad! Everyone's been raptored!

[bus revving] [gasp]

[tires screech]

♪

Oh. I see what happened.

And now I don't. [sighs]

[click, hissing] [banging]

- Tonight, ladies and gentlemen, we have a very...

special guest. [cheering]

Before he comes on, here's a mouse on a stool.

Please welcome The Brain. [quiet clapping]

- I would like to dedicate this song to everyone in the world,

except Pinky.

- Who's, uh, who's Pinky?

- Exactly, Edward Vincent Sullivan. Nobody.

Well, he was my best friend,

and my poison taster,

and a surprisingly comfortable footstool.

But he was holding me back!

I had to abandon him to fulfill my destiny

to paralyze the nation using this bow tie

on a black and white television broadcast!

- Yes, well, that's quite a story, but we...

just started broadcasting in color last week.

- Color?

♪

Color?

Color!?

A black and white broadcast was vital to my plan!

[crowd booing]

Oh no. I've failed.

I was a fool to think I could do this alone.

I never thought I'd miss the days of Pinky and the...

- Brain! [banging]

- Pinky!

[crowd gasp]

♪ mellow guitar music playing ♪

[growl] [smash]

♪ vocalizing ♪

[screaming]

- Whee! [laughing]

♪ vocalizing continues ♪

ED SULLIVAN: Hey! Those muffins were for everybody!

♪

PINKY: Move! Move! [growling]

[shatter] [both laughing]

[laughing]

♪

♪

- Come, Pinky, we must go back to the lab to prepare for tomorrow night.

- Why, Brain? What are we going to do tomorrow night?

- The same thing we do every night, Pinky.

Try to take over the world!

♪ melancholy melody playing ♪

[sniff]

[traffic noise] [song fades out]