Original subtitles

[thunder]

♪ Pinky & The Brain theme ♪

‐ Gee, Brain, what do you wanna do tonight?

‐ The same thing we do every night, Pinky.

Try to take over the world! [thunder]

♪

‐ ♪ They're Pinky and the Brain ♪

♪ Yes, Pinky and the Brain ♪

♪ One is a genius ♪

♪ The other's insane ♪

♪ They're laboratory mice ♪

♪ Their genes have been spliced ♪

♪ They're dinky, they're Pinky and the Brain ♪

♪ Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain ♪

♪

♪

[typing, beeping]

‐ Oh. [grunts]

How much longer do I have to hold this, Brain?

[grunts] It's almost a quarter to 11:00! [gasps]

It's way past my lunchtime already.

[groans]

‐ Patience, Pinky. I am attempting

to hack into the control unit for this traffic light.

‐ Oh! Are we going to throw a traffic light party?

Well, I shall have to wear yellow because...

[typing, beeping]

It's complicated. ‐ We have no time to carouse, Pinky.

I'm working on a scheme to triple the length of every red light

on Earth, causing mankind to go insane with road rage,

paving the way for me to seize control of a world torn asunder!

[beep] Ha!

[buzz] [tires screech]

[cars honking] ‐ Gah!

Come on! [honking]

I'm late for my anger management class!

[cars honking]

‐ Ha! You see? It's working!

[bike approaching, brakes squeal]

♪

[coughing]

Pinky! [cough] Are you pondering what I'm pondering?

‐ [woozy]: I think so, Brain,

but if the house is pickles,

who would horse the hose down?

Ah! I've got you by the gills now, Wet Gregory!

♪

[gasps]

♪

MAN: Fine weather we're having.

‐ Fine weather we're having. ‐ Fine weather we're having.

‐ Fine weather we're having.

[gasps] [bicycle clicking]

‐ Pinky, wake up. We've been mouse‐napped.

‐ Well, I've was been napping, until you waked me up.

‐ We must escape this horrendous place at once.

Looks like Wes Anderson had a seizure at Brooks Brothers.

♪

‐ Sorry. There's no way out.

Except by ferry,

but that won't come until tomorrow at 8:30 AM.

It's always a pleasure to meet

two fellow super‐villains.

I am Dr. Doppler.

‐ Fellow super‐villains? You think I'm super?

Well, I'm flattered, honestly, but...

No, no. I want answers, Doppler.

Where have you brought us? ‐ Why, this

is Dopplerville!

A super‐duper super‐villain island retreat,

where my hench‐people and hench‐sheeple

can live and work together to harness the weather

and create global chaos!

[zap]

[evil laugh]

Why? Do you not have

a super‐duper super‐villain island retreat?

‐ Um, of course I do. ‐ [laughs] No, you don't!

‐ Well, I have a lab. Though,

I guess it's not technically my lab.

‐ It's a cage!

‐ It's more of a rental space, but it keeps overhead low.

‐ It's got a major rodent problem!

[grunts] DOPPLER: I see.

Well, if everything goes according to my plan,

you'll be out of that rusty rat trap faster than a winter cold front.

Now then, why don't we let your weary selves sit a bit? ‐ Ooh!

I haven't seen so much food since a second ago

when I saw all this food for the first time! [laughs]

Do you mind if I have some?

I still haven't had lunch!

‐ Yes, of course!

Help yourself to some refreshments

while I introduce the others.

Here, on my left, we have my right‐hand woman,

Mrs. Kettle.

Her Yorkshire pudding recipe

is to die for. Literally. ‐ Ah!

‐ Next, we have Phoenicia Leatherpants,

a skilled stunt pilot

who's the scourge of the skies.

[grunts]

Baldo Billions,

famously bald American businessman.

His corporation, [giggling]

CRUELCO, maximizes profits

and pain.

[grunts] ‐ Enough small talk, Doppler!

Why have you brought us all to this island?

More importantly, what's the Wi‐Fi password?

‐ It's "Doppler," but the O is a zero.

‐ I have spent years toiling in solitude.

Hurricane Randy,

Typhoon Mary, Karl the Fog...

Each of them, my precious creation.

But alas, none have had the power to cause long‐lasting destruction.

That is why I decided to assemble

the best and brightest villains this wondrous,

thunderous world has ever known!

♪

With our powers combined,

we can conquer the planet and split the spoils.

Here's what I propose. [hissing]

Using my ingenious weather technology,

Phoenicia will the seed the clouds from her aeroplane,

creating the perfect conditions [sprinkling]

for a massive hailstorm.

Then, Mrs. Kettle shall activate my patented

Dr. Doppler Doomsday Device. [squeaking, whistling]

It will produce a powerful storm,

unleashing the largest hailstones ever recorded.

ALL: Ooh.

DOPPLER: Once the buildings of every major city are destroyed,

they will turn to Mr. Billion's CRUELCO Construction to rebuild,

making us trillionaires and de facto rulers

over a crushed world.

[panting]

[cheering]

‐ And what, may I ask, is my contribution in all of this?

‐ You, Mr. Brain,

have the most important task of all.

[sighs] You will climb hundreds of meters into the sky,

battling high winds and other fantastically adverse weather conditions...

‐ Naturally. DOPPLER: ...until, finally...

you press the little red button

that opens the giant umbrella over

my beloved Dopplerville.

BRAIN: Wait, that's it?

All I'm supposed to do is open an umbrella?

‐ But, of course!

You're the only one who's teensy weensy enough to do it!

[grunting]

Now, who wants to see if they can outrun a tornado?

[laughs]

[excited chatter] [splattering]

‐ Ha!

Ah...

BRAIN: This is ridiculous, Pinky.

I must prove to Dad‐‐ I mean, Dr. Doppler,

that I am worthy of his respect and utmost confidence.

[rumbling] Oh!

‐ And how will you do that, Brain?

Oh, please say dance off, please say dance off.

‐ No, Pinky. I will showcase my ample talents

and prodigious genius by neutralizing them.

[laughter]

‐ Say no more, Brain. I'll make an appointment with the vet.

♪

BRAIN: You're just in time, Pinky.

With a drop of this tincture in Baldo's coffee,

his businesses won't be the only thing shooting raw sewage

into the nation's water supply.

Watch me strike first in this war of wills.

‐ Ooh! My money's on Will Smith.

Or maybe Will Ferrell? No, no. Smith to win it all!

[grunts] ‐ Quiet, Pinky.

Both because we have to be stealthy,

and because you're an idiot.

♪

[groans] [crash]

What in the world?

‐ Oh dear. He's got himself into quite a pickle, hasn't he?

Ugh! I would kill for a pickle right now.

[gasps] There's one! ‐ [sighs] Come, Pinky.

Things are getting interesting.

It appears, in this game, I'm not just playing with myself.

‐ [Yakko voice]: Good night, everybody!

[normal]: [laugh] I did it! I crossed over!

‐ Quick! There's no time to lose!

♪

Listen carefully, Pinky.

If Mrs. Kettle took down Baldo Billions,

we must put her out of commission

before she does the same to us.

Every day, Mrs. Kettle dusts the busts in the great hall.

I will make her slip and fracture her spine

by covering all 3,240 square feet of hardwood floors

with 1,200 sticks of butter.

‐ Oh, sure.

When we need 1,200 sticks of butter for your thing...

[clank, whirring]

BOTH: Ah!

♪

‐ Egad, Brain! She's frozen.

Like Jack Dawson in Titanic.

Or Jack Nicholson in The Shining!

Or Jack Frost in Michael Keaton!

‐ If Mrs. Kettle has been eliminated,

[squeaking, sliding] that means my adversary must be...

[thud] Phoenicia, the aviatrix!

Quickly, Pinky, before she takes to the skies!

[plane rumbling]

Phoenicia! I know it was you!

You may have dispatched the others,

[muffled]: but you won't get rid of me that easily!

For I am the Brain, the cleverest and shrewdest mastermind

[muffled]: in the world!

‐ What!? I can't hear you!

You're gonna have to come closer!

[plane rumbling]

Eh, forget it.

[plane roaring]

[zooming overhead]

♪

[plane sputtering]

[explosion]

‐ Yeah! Egad, Brain, you did it! [laughs]

You showed those rotten evil‐doers what's what!

‐ But, I didn't, Pinky.

I didn't do anything to anybody.

DOPPLER: You tried your fuzzy‐scuzzy best,

but there was someone even more devious

and dastardly than you.

Someone who created

a torrent of torment!

[beep]

[clang] ‐ Narf!

‐ Ah! [grunts] [crash]

[groaning]

[static] ‐ Ooh, you poor thing.

I can't believe you haven't eaten all day.

‐ Narf!

[bang]

‐ Oh my! [click]

[muffled banging] [muffled]: Hey! Let me out!

[static] [glugging]

[shaking]

[boom]

[sizzling] ‐ Narf.

I'm sorry. It was an accident! I was just hungry!

‐ Hungry for power!

[laughing]

Pinky, you're the most maniacal madman

this side of the Gulf Stream!

I want the two of us

to rule the world together!

‐ This is ridiculous! Pinky's not a super‐villain.

I'm the brains of the operation!

My name is literally The Brain.

How much more clear‐cut can you get?

‐ Oh! Let's celebrate our new partnership

with some ittle‐biddle vittles, shall we? [unicycle squeaking]

‐ Pinky, don't you dare!

‐ Oh, I'm sorry, Brain,

but I'm so hungry, my body is eating itself up,

and I don't taste very good! Ah! [chomp]

♪

‐ Can you pass a biscuit?

‐ Sure, but it might take me 24 hours.

[laughing]

‐ Oh, Pinky!

You are quite the cut‐up.

Let's toast with some bubbly.

[straining]

[pop] Oh!

[screaming] [splash]

[gasps] ‐ Well done, Pinky!

Maybe you are an evil genius.

Was that your plan all along?

‐ What's a... plan?

‐ Right. Well, at any rate,

Dr. Doppler's doomsday device is now ours for the taking.

[squeak] [straining]

[both yell] [spinning]

♪

[pumping, whistle]

[thunder, wind howling]

[screaming]

[maniacal laugh]

It's working! It's working! [smashing]

PINKY: Ah! BRAIN: No, wait!

I never put up the umbrella! [smashing]

[Brain screaming, Pinky laughing]

‐ Fine weather we're having!

[smash]

[wind stops]

♪

‐ It just goes to show you, Brain.

There are no small parts. Only small packages.

No, wait. Good things come with tiny, easy to swallow parts.

No, no, that's not it.

‐ Come, Pinky. We must go back to the lab to prepare for tomorrow night.

‐ Why, Brain? What are we going to do tomorrow night?

‐ The same thing we do every night, Pinky.

Try to take over the‐‐

[smash, cracking]

world... [thud]

♪

[panting]

‐ See? I knew Jack and Rose

could have both made it.

♪