Original subtitles

♪ theme song playing ♪

‐ ♪ It's time for Animaniacs! ♪

♪ And we're zany to the max ♪

♪ So just sit back and relax ♪

♪ You'll laugh till you collapse ♪

♪ We're Animaniacs! ♪

‐ ♪ Come join the Warner Brothers ♪ ‐ ♪ And the Warner Sister Dot ♪

♪ Just for fun, we run around the Warner movie lot ♪

♪ They lock us in the tower whenever we get caught ♪

♪ But we break loose and then vamoose and now you know the plot ♪

♪ We're Animaniacs ♪

♪ Dot has wit and Yakko yaks ♪

♪ Wakko packs away the snacks ♪

♪ Our careers have made comebacks ♪

♪ We're Animaniacs! ♪

♪ Meet Pinky and the Brain who want to rule the universe ♪

♪ A brand new cast who tested well in focus group research ♪

♪ Gender balanced, pronoun neutral ♪

♪ And ethnically diverse ♪

♪ The trolls will say we're so passé, but we did meta first ♪

♪ We're Animaniacs ♪

♪ You should see our new contracts ♪

♪ We're zany to the max, there's baloney in our slacks ♪

♪ We're animan‐ey, totally insane‐y ♪

‐ ♪ Mirage arcane‐y ♪

‐ ♪ Animaniacs! Those are the facts ♪

♪

♪

[shaking, clattering]

‐ Ah! Snake eyes!

‐ Yeah, that means you married your prom date

and you both shop for jeans at the grocery store.

‐ But I never got to live abroad!

Or try stand‐up comedy!

‐ And you never will.

‐ That's why they call it settling!

[rumbling]

[screaming] [crashing]

♪ intimidating music ♪

[whirring]

[clicking]

[beeping]

[alien noises]

‐ You know, this would be scarier if we hadn't already done aliens...

twice this season.

[beep]

‐ Sorry about that.

Are you the one they call...

The Yak?

‐ It's Yakk‐O. And it depends who's asking,

four plus four plus four... eyes.

‐ We hear you are best at condensing complex information

into catchy jingles.

‐ Well, maybe not the best...

But yeah, objectively the best. You heard right.

‐ What is everything about Earth? Please.

‐ Everything about Earth!?

♪

Uh...

[sighs] Okay.

Well, I'm gonna need a 92‐piece orchestra

and a lukewarm green tea with lemon and honey.

[snap]

[whirring, zap]

I said luke warm!

Luke! [snap]

[zap]

That's more like it.

Maestro, if you please.

♪ At first there was nothingness, then some unknown process ♪

♪ Lead to a great big explosion ♪

♪ The universe grew from a subatomic stew ♪

♪ Of quarks, gluons, plasmas, and bosons ♪

♪ Then gas and dust settled on hot cores of metal ♪

♪ And one of these cores was called Earth ♪

♪ It was covered with goop, a primordial soup ♪

♪ From which all of Earth's life was then birthed ♪

♪ At first, single cells, some swam or grew shells ♪

♪ Still others evolved to hunt prey ♪

♪ Some hid in the sand, some crawled onto land ♪

♪ So life, well, life found a way... ♪

‐ Uh, we already did this bit.

Uh huh, in the pilot. Mm‐hmm.

‐ ♪ There were mosses and gymnosperms, seven‐foot‐long earthworms ♪

♪ Huge dragonflies ruled the sky ♪

♪ Amphibians, cephalopods, pedallers both bi‐ and quad‐ ♪

♪ Reptiles started to fly ♪

♪ We had lizards grow big and small, mammals not big at all ♪

♪ Sharks were the size of a house ♪

♪ Then, one little meteor killed all the dinosaurs ♪

♪ So, we evolved from a mouse ♪

♪ 8,000 BC, Creation Theory ♪

♪ Would dictate the song should start here ♪

♪ Though most of our herd agree it's absurd ♪

♪ Some teach it in place of Shakespeare... ♪

♪ Let's skip evolution, there're two revolutions ♪

♪ Agriculture took us to towns ♪

♪ Humans learned to grow wheat, got all fat, loved to eat ♪

♪ Stopped walking and just settled down ♪

♪ Industrial next, its major effect ♪

♪ To take us from towns to the city ♪

♪ We mined coals and built trains, machines plowed our grains ♪

♪ And we treated the workers real shi‐‐ ♪

‐ How many more of your Earth seconds is this going to take?

‐ Well‐timed interruption. Almost there, I promise!

♪ We recorded some tunes, put a man on the moon ♪

♪ Fought more wars than we care to recount ♪

♪ Sent the Phoenix to Mars, built electric cars ♪

♪ And polluted a shocking amount ♪

♪ Skipping to now, we survived, not sure how ♪

♪ It's getting real hard to keep track ♪

[inhales deeply]

♪ There's Wikipedia, smartphones, tablets, unmanned drones ♪

♪ Pick your own genomes, ride‐sharing, sheep clones ♪

♪ Earthquakes and cyclones, valleys of Silicone ♪

♪ Gluten‐free vegan scones, temperature milestones ♪

♪ Keystones and sword thrones, high‐interest payday loans ♪

♪ Cyclists' testosterone, and everything Musk owns ♪

♪ But at least now us Warners are ♪

♪ Back! ♪

We are back, baby!

♪

[clapping]

‐ You have been most helpful, The Yak.

‐ Yes. While we absorb the essence

of all species on your planet,

we will ensure your carbon atoms

are re‐purposed for only

the highest quality nutrient paste.

[slurping]

♪

‐ Joke's on them!

We aren't even a species!