Original subtitles

[thunder clapping]

♪ Pinky and the Brain theme song playing ♪

- Gee, Brain, what do you wanna do tonight?

- The same thing we do every night, Pinky.

Try to take over the world!

[thunder clap]

♪

- ♪ They're Pinky and the Brain ♪

♪ Yes, Pinky and the Brain ♪

♪ One is a genius ♪

♪ The other's insane ♪

♪ They're laboratory mice ♪

♪ Their genes have been spliced ♪

♪ They're dinky, they're Pinky and the Brain ♪

♪ Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain ♪

♪

♪

♪

[alarm blaring]

- [sing song]: Brain...

Wakey-wakey.

I made a mistakey.

[sighs]

- What? Where?

Ah!

- Whee! [hissing]

- Ooh...

Great Godfrey Hounsfield! What's going on? [hissing continues]

Where are we?

- Um, ground control to Major Brain.

We're in space! [screams] [hissing increases]

♪

[click] - Phew!

The International Space Station?

But, how did we get here?

Please don't tell me Elon's here, too.

- Well, we flew here in a rocket because you wanted to type a code

into that computer over there.

And you wouldn't tell me the code, even though I really wanted to know,

and I told you it was rude to keep secrets!

- Hopefully, I told you to stuff a sock in it.

- Ha! Yes, you did! Narf!

You also said the code would make an electro-magenta purse.

Which I thought was a bit strange because magenta is so last summer.

- Electro-magenta purse?

Oh, you must mean electromagnetic pulse.

Why, one of those could turn off all the lights on Earth,

leaving humanity defenseless!

♪

[zapping] [concerned chatter]

[clicking, fizzling] [horns, crashing]

[people screaming]

[zapping]

[smash]

Finally! After years of failure,

I found the perfect plan!

Nothing stands in our way!

- Ha, that's right, Brain!

We finally did it!

We taked over the world!

- Oh, Pinky. This is the happiest moment of my life.

Once I press this button,

the world is mine!

- Well, this calls for a celebration!

Have one of these delicious astronaut ice creams.

I've already had 10.

- Pinky, that's a kitchen sponge.

- Oh. That explains why I barely had to use the bathroom.

♪

- How bittersweet it is to have no memory of my greatest triumph.

- Well, I can tell you what happened. [clears throat]

You and I were undercover at a school.

You see, Brain, when you go undercover, you turn into something you're not.

Like when vanilla ice cream is covered with hot fudge,

and becomes chocolate ice cream!

- Pinky, that's not at all-- - Don't interrupt me, babe. Where was I?

Oh, right. As I was saying,

you were disguised as a science teacher,

helping a group of students build a rocket, and then--

- Careful, Marissa. That's it.

We're in the homestretch now.

It's been weeks of hard work, but I knew when I assembled you,

the school's best and brightest students in this after-school STEM program,

that nothing could stop us from completing this fully-functioning scale model

of the Gemini Titan spacecraft.

MARISSA: Great speech, Mr. Brain.

My favorite part was all the exposition.

[laughter]

- These little fools have no idea I've just been using them for free labor.

Soon, I will steal this rocket and journey into space!

- Have you noticed how often Mr. Brain mutters under his breath?

And also how tiny he is?

- At least he's better than the new tiny art teacher.

♪

- Oh no, no, no! Don't waste paste, Mason.

Especially when it's this delicious!

[gulping]

[muffled]

[muffled jabbering]

[muffled struggling]

[laughter]

[muffled]: Ah! Well... ha, ha. [bell ringing]

That's all for today, class.

And remember, I want an essay

on how to taste the difference between wood glue

and modeling paste by Monday.

And no extensions!

♪

- Oh no! Ah! [grunts]

Come, Pinky.

We must launch in the next few minutes if we want to make our rendezvous.

PINKY: Ooh! A secret rendezvous!

Can it be? Is Brain...

in love at last?

- With the space station, you waste of organic molecules.

[grunts]

- Ah! So, that's your type, is it?

Worldly with curves in all the right places?

[giggles]

- I've designed a computer program to turn the space station into a giant weapon.

To activate the electromagnetic pulse,

all we must do is install it in the computer-- [grunts]

and enter my top secret five-digit code. [Pinky straining]

And no. I won't be telling you the code.

[sighs] Yes, Pinky, do you have a question?

- Not anymore, no.

Is it 00000?

Or 00001?

- Pinky, enough! [Pinky grunts]

We must don our suits and travel

where only several hundred lab mice have gone before.

Space!

♪

[groans] PINKY: See, Brain?

You remember all that!

Now, just enter that delicious five-digit code,

and we'll take over the world!

- I don't recall launching the rocket. - I've got an idea.

How about you just shout out the code, and I'll type it in here.

Is it 31415?

[beeping]

27182? [beeping]

24601? [beeping]

[maniacal giggling]

Boy! Isn't it wacky

how you can have 100,000 possible combinations

with a five-digit code? It's enough to drive someone,

certainly not me, but someone

up the space wall! Gort!

I mean, zort!

[beeping continues] - Hm...

Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?

- Yes, definitely, Brain.

When you're the emperor of Earth,

we should make organ harvesting sustainable!

Ah, but first, I'd-- I'd love to hear that sweet, sweet code.

- In your dreams, impostor!

[both yelling, grunt]

♪

It's all been a ruse!

We never even left the school!

[crack]

Ah!

[crumbling] Blech!

[snap]

♪

[zap]

Julia!

[mechanical whirring]

JULIA [in Pinky voice]: Hello, ex-husband.

[normal voice]: Remember me?

- Yes, obviously. I just said your name.

What have you done with Pinky? - Oh, sweet Pinky.

[laughs] Let's just say,

he's rather occupied.

No, no, no! No, wait! I've got a better one.

Let's just say, he's in

a sticky situation?

[maniacal laughter]

- Oh!

♪

- [spits] Hi, Brain! Julia's back!

- Yes, Pinky. I know.

You took his place.

But, how? - It was simple.

Once I infiltrated Pinky's art class,

I waited until we were alone.

[mechanical whirring]

[whirring]

I used my aesthetic genius to build a perfect replica of his head

from papier mâché!

[clock ticking] The mask took a long time to dry,

but it gave me time to finish the Saturday crossword.

[struggling]

- Ooh! Ah! - Bup, bup, bup!

Can you think of a five-letter word for fool?

I can! Brain!

[whirring]

- [grunts] Why go through all this trouble?

This entire ordeal has been incredibly inconvenient for both of us.

- Because I deserve to rule the world,

not you. [beep]

♪

- Ah!

- [giggles] You think you're so smart, Brain.

Which is barely a name, by the way.

But I'm far more clever, more hardworking,

and I only sometimes get into fights on Goodreads.

The only part of Ulysses worth reading is the last chapter,

and everybody knows it! [zapping]

Anyway,

where was I? That's right. Here, in my body,

about to steal your secret code, fly to space,

activate the electromagnetic pulse,

and take over the world for myself.

- That's quite a narrative you've assembled, Julia.

Did you attend the Iowa Writers' Workshop?

- Actually, I got in.

But I didn't go because I wanted real-life experience!

- Right... [Julia screaming]

- Give me the code!

- You'll have to pry it from my cold, dead paws.

- Don't mind if I fondue. [beep]

[grunting]

[screaming]

[gurgling] Say cheese!

Oh, no! Wait, wait, wait!

I've got a better one! [squeal]

Looks like somebody's got

a queso the Mondays!

[maniacal laughter]

[babbling]

[laughing]

BRAIN: Celebrating a little early, aren't we?

♪ triumphant music playing ♪

JULIA: How did you escape?

[whirring] - With my help!

[cranking] - Whoa! Whoa!

- You see, when you glued me to the wall,

you forgot one crucial detail.

I love eating paste.

Ooh! [chomping]

First, I started nibbling it off my left foot.

But then, I found a nice, tasty morsel

under my left-- - Yes!

Yes, we-- we get it, Pinky.

[whirring] Face it, Julia.

Like cooked bread,

you're toast. - [sigh] That's not your best.

- How about this?

You're like a wooden table. Finished!

- Ooh! I like that.

Worth the wait, worth the wait. - Thank you.

♪ romantic sting ♪

- Aw.

♪

[Brain and Julia grunting] No!

[grunting, struggling]

[yelling]

Stop! Stop it! [Brain and Julia yelling]

No fighting!

Ah!

[both yell]

[screaming]

[heavy clattering]

[whimpering]

[slurping]

Brain! Brain! Are you okay?

- [woozy]: Thank you, Your Majesty.

Oh my. Is that Yorkshire Gold? I...

I'm a Darjeeling man myself, but I'll...

I'll get a-- Huh? [gasps] [muffled whirring]

[blasting]

♪

- I'll be back!

Hasta la vista, baby!

[fizzling]

[explosion]

- Hm. Seems the rocket was faulty.

Those kids can kiss their extra credit goodbye.

- Egad. I do hope she's okay, Brain.

- Of course you do, Pinky, because you are pure of heart.

And more generally lack all higher cognitive function.

[crazy laugh]

- It's true. I am fun!

[laughing]

- Let us return to the lab and prepare for tomorrow night.

- Why, Brain? What are we gonna do tomorrow night?

- The same thing we do every night, Pinky.

Try to take over the world!

[grunts]

- You may have won this match,

but I-I have plenty of matches left! Ah! [hawk screeches]

[laughing]

All the matchbooks that I take from fancy restaurants!

'Cause I steal them while the hostess isn't looking!

[screeching]

[screech]

Sure! They're free anyway, but I like the thrill of the hunt!

[laughing]

♪