Original subtitles

[thunder]

♪ Pinky & the Brain theme music playing ♪

- Gee, Brain, what do you wanna do tonight?

- The same thing we do every night, Pinky.

Try to take over the world! [thunder]

♪

- ♪ They're Pinky and the Brain ♪

♪ Yes, Pinky and the Brain ♪

♪ One is a genius ♪

♪ The other's insane ♪

♪ They're laboratory mice ♪

♪ Their genes have been spliced ♪

♪ They're dinky, they're Pinky and the Brain ♪

♪ Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain ♪

♪

PINKY: Ooh, look, Brain! A quiz about toxic friendships!

Question one,

is your friend a good listener?

- Silence, Pinky. Egwind and I are working.

[beeping]

- Thanks for letting me be a part of the team, Mr. Brain.

I really appreciate being given the chance to shine.

- And shine you will, Egwind.

Using optogenetics, I will fire

this modified blue light laser at your amygdala.

By activating the neurons that cause aggression,

I'll finally have an assistant with a true killer instinct!

[beeping, whirring]

[laughing]

- Ah!

♪

[roaring, snarling]

- Yes. Yes! It's working!

[roaring]

[snarling, grunting]

[roaring]

[floor creaking] - Farewell...

- Well, I suppose one must break a few eggs

to make a bad egg.

This time, I'll just dial things back a smidge.

[whirring]

- Question two, does your friend take advantage of you?

[beeping]

♪

[grunts]

- Pinky? How are you doing?

Are you feeling anymore vicious?

- Vicious? No, Brain, I swear!

I gave that up after I was banned from the aquarium!

- [sighs] Alas, you're unchanged.

Perhaps I dialed it down too much. Let's give you another zap...

♪

[grunting]

[gagging]

Pinky... let me go...

- Sorry, Brain, I don't know what's happening!

I can't seem to control my hands!

[straining]

[Brain yells] [whimpers]

♪

[gagging] - Fascinating.

Somehow, only your hands have acquired a killer instinct.

They now have a mind of their own and are functioning independently,

as if you are Destiny's Child and your hands are Beyoncé.

- [grunts] Ooh! Nice reference, Brain.

You see? I told you getting that lifetime subscription

to Rolling Stone was a good idea.

♪

[yelling, struggling, gagging]

[yelling]

- Enough is enough! You do whatever you'd like to Pinky,

but my equipment is worth more than... well, Pinky.

[whimpers]

- Uh oh. I'm not sure my hands like being tied up this way, Brain.

Ah!

- Oh no you don't! Get back here.

[grunts]

[exclaiming]

- I'll never forget you, Brain!

[cars honking]

MAN: What? Ah!

[screaming] [sirens wailing]

[explosion] - Ah!

Perhaps I've unleashed an intelligence so devious and cunning,

it can never be contained.

Perhaps my scientific hubris has at last gotten the better of me.

Perhaps I've finally gone too far! [screaming continues]

Nah.

♪

I must formulate a contingency plan

in case I'm forced to destroy him.

- Destroy who, Brain? - P-Pinky!

How did you escape the authorities?

- Oh dear. Well,

they tried to take me to the station for questioning.

And then, remember that scene in Silence of the Lambs?

It was just like that,

except I didn't need to steal anyone's face.

My hands... just did it for fun...

I'm sorry, Brain. I do nothing but cause trouble.

I'm hopeless.

- Hm. On the contrary.

Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?

- I think so, Brain,

but nothing in the rulebook says a possum can't play Frisbee golf.

- The only thing emptier than your skull

is my promise to start flossing. [grunts]

[bones cracking] [gasps]

Ah. What I mean to say is your dexterous digits

may be exactly the thing I need after all.

With their help, I can finally carry out

my grandest, most ambitious scheme yet.

Excavating frozen mastodons

to create an army of super soldiers!

- Aw, cute!

- Ow!

Fine. Uh, then what say you to changing the Earth's rotation

with a giant electromagnet?

- I don't get it, but I love it!

- Ow! Uh, roger that.

How about causing society to crumble

by altering the DNA of a deadly insect? [gasps]

♪

Okay then. Then, help me take over the world!

Not as my assistant or rivals,

but as partners.

Shall we shake on it? PINKY: Talk to the hand

'cause the Pinky can't physically control them anymore.

♪

- Pack your bags, Pinky. We are going to Bethesda, Maryland.

- Ooh! What's in Maryland, Brain? I mean,

besides Fort McHenry, Camden Yards, the Chesapeake Blue Crab,

the Walters Art Museum, Crystal Grottoes Cavern,

Edgar Allan Poe's memorial,

and the National Aquarium,

which I've not yet been banned from.

BRAIN: The National Institutes of Health.

- That's it! That's the one I forgot!

[grunts]

- Inside this building

is the sophisticated gene editing tool known as CRISPR.

Once we've unlocked its secrets,

we will engineer a mosquito with an extra-large stinger.

Anyone bitten will scratch themselves mad,

unless they come to me for my specially developed itch cream.

- Egad, terrific, Brain! A foolproof plan as usual.

- But first, we'll need to find a way inside the building.

♪

- Say no more, Brain! It appears I've got that under control.

- Whatever harebrained scheme you've got, Pinky,

it's not going to--

Wow. That's rather impressive, Pinky's pinkies.

- Thanks, Brain!

Now, please turn off and stow all electronic devices

for absolutely no reason at all as we... prepare...

for liftoff!

Woohoo! [laughing]

♪

- Alright, Pinky. To enter the most restricted areas,

we will need to procure an identification badge

with the appropriate clearance.

That is why you and I are posing as lunch ladies.

- How theatrical, Brain!

[grunts]

- This powder will turn the shepherd's pie

into a gastrointestinal nightmare. [screaming]

Once their pants are down, we will...

[people screaming]

[grunting]

- Doo doo doot doo doo.

We will what, Brain?

- Pinky,

there are three little words I've never said to you before.

That was cool.

♪

Drat. We're too small to reach the security access pad.

But, if I can lure a dog in here with this whistle,

we can stand on its back and-- PINKY: [laughs] Brain, I think

my hand is trying to tell you that you're number one!

♪

[beep]

[door opens]

- You're just spoiling me.

Now, to engineer our super mosquito.

♪

You look for the CRISPR instruction manual,

while I sedate the specimen by reading it a bedtime story.

[grunting]

[grunts]

- Hm?

Hm? Oh!

[beeping]

- Or I could just leave everything

in your capable hands. [sighs] [beeping, typing continues]

[screeching]

I must say, you're really coming in handy on this adventure.

[laughs] Get it, Pinky?

Handy? Where'd you go?

- I'm over here, Brain! By this Jack and Jill bidet.

[buzzing]

♪

- Huh?

[maniacal laughter]

[explosion]

[alarm ringing]

Pinky, stop fooling around and bring back that bug! [coughs]

- Okie-dokie, smartichokey!

Ow!

Ow! Hey!

Don't make me come down there! Ow!

[screaming]

♪

[alarm continues] - Well, that stings a bit. [coughing]

I must find a way out of here!

[screaming]

[clanging]

Ah! Ah! Oh! [panting]

Pinky! Are you out here? PINKY: Brain!

I'm over here on this chubby little plane!

[muffled grunt]

♪

[grunts]

Oh dear. My hands betrayed Brain, and I can't stop them!

What should I do?

The only responsible thing I can do.

Well, folks, it looks like I-270 is backed up

all the way to the Beltway

because of a closure in the right two lanes,

and do try to avoid the area around Chevy Chase as there is

a four-alarm fire at the National Institute of Health.

- Hold still, Pinky. I just need to crack open your hood

and give you a tiny tune-up.

- Okay! Sounds good.

[whirring] BRAIN: Ah!

♪

[grunting]

[grunts] Ah!

Ah! Ow.

[yelling]

Ow! Ow!

[straining]

[screaming]

PINKY: Hey! You two!

If you wanna kill my friend,

you're gonna have to go through me!

[choking]

I never... got to... see Paris...

[choking] Texas...

[helicopter whirring down]

[coughing]

- Pinky!

Pinky, are you alright?

♪ sad music ♪

[whimpering]

[sniffling]

- Brain! You saved me!

[gasping]

♪

- You received a concussion in the crash,

which seems to have reversed the alterations to your amygdala.

- Oh, that's so wonderful to hear, Brain.

I was so tired of not having any control over my body!

[laughs]

- Come, Pinky. We must return to the lab to lick our wounds

and prepare for tomorrow night.

- Why, Brain, what are we gonna do tomorrow night?

- The same thing we do every night, Pinky.

Try to take over the world!

- ♪ They're dinky, they're Pinky and the Brain, Brain, Brain-- ♪

[buzzing]