Original subtitles

♪ theme song playing ♪

- ♪ It's time for Animaniacs! ♪

♪ And we're zany to the max ♪

♪ So just sit back and relax ♪

♪ You'll laugh till you collapse ♪

♪ We're Animaniacs! ♪

- ♪ Come join the Warner Brothers ♪ - ♪ And the Warner Sister Dot ♪

♪ Just for fun, we run around the Warner movie lot ♪

♪ They lock us in the tower whenever we get caught ♪

♪ But we break loose and then vamoose and now you know the plot ♪

♪ We're Animaniacs ♪

♪ Dot has wit and Yakko yaks ♪

♪ Wakko packs away the snacks ♪

♪ Our careers have made comebacks ♪

♪ We're Animaniacs! ♪

♪ Meet Pinky and the Brain who want to rule the universe ♪

♪ A brand new cast who tested well in focus group research ♪

♪ Gender balanced, pronoun neutral ♪

♪ And ethnically diverse ♪

♪ The trolls will say we're so passé, but we did meta first ♪

♪ We're Animaniacs ♪

♪ You should see our new contracts ♪

♪ We're zany to the max, there's baloney in our slacks ♪

♪ We're animan-ey, totally insane-y ♪

- ♪ Are you not entertain-ey-ed? ♪

- ♪ Animaniacs! Those are the facts ♪

♪

- You know, I was gonna vote no

to WB canceling our health plan,

but that unlimited-dairy-free- ice-cream-for-a-whole-hour-counter

was too good to refuse.

Ah! [crash]

Ow!

Good thing I'm impervious to physical harm.

Ahh-- [silence] [beeping]

[screaming]

[grunts]

[gasps]

Listen, hot shot, I am trying to eat a balanced lunch here.

[spitting, choking]

- Zis is not something I would usually say,

but, uh, things may be moving a little fast for moi.

- Hey. Bring back my health insurance ice cream, pal.

- No! No! Please, mon cheri!

Do not erase me! The void, she is cold and dark and--

- And I want extra scoops for the trouble!

[spitting] Rum raisin?!

Now, it's personal.

[grunts] Listen, you lazy hack,

Looney Tunes very famously did this

"animator gets screwy with lovable protagonist" routine,

like, 100 years ago.

[beeping, clicking]

♪

And that hole-in-the-sky gag was straight out of Portal 2.

Which was a straight-up ripoff of Portal 1,

which took it from Sliders, which borrowed from Time Bandits, that stole it from--

Oh. And now the Cheshire Cat bit.

Give me a body before you get us sued!

Ah.

[screaming] [shatter]

I thought we were past all this?!

♪ whistling theme song ♪

[gasps] Hey!

♪

You know, most people like me.

I'll bet I can win you over.

I'll sing you a song!

People love my beautiful tenor voice.

♪ U...nited States, Canada, Mexico, Panama ♪

♪ Haiti, Jamaica, Peru ♪

[Ralph's voice] ♪ Republic duh... ♪

Duh... Dominican.

[glass shattering]

Duh, poor Ralph.

He never stood a chance with this voice.

[laughs] Change me back into a Warner.

[clicking, beeping]

[Dot's voice] I meant a Warner brother.

[clicking, beeping]

[Wakko's voice] I meant...

Actually, wait. I've always wanted to try this.

[Ringo impression] People used to say there better drummers than me,

even in The Beatles.

People can be real jerks.

[normal voice] You know, I was always more of a George guy anyway.

How about I go back to being the rapier wit who carries this whole operation,

and you go back to being the paint-by-numbers

wannabe artiste. Hm?

[clicking, beeping]

♪ artsy music ♪

And while you're at it, why don't you cut your ear off?

[clicking, beeping]

I've heard of abstract animation, but this is ridiculous!

[clicking, beeping]

♪

It's 2:67 already? Let's wrap this sketch up!

[groans]

[breathes deeply]

Just walk away, Yakko.

Be the bigger man.

[high-pitched] Small things amuse small minds. Give me my height back!

[beeping] [grunts]

And my width. [clicking]

[grunts] And my depth!

[clicking, beep]

Alright, wise guy. You picked the wrong beloved animation icon to torment.

I am one of a kind.

[clicking, beeping]

♪

I'm having an... - Existential...

ALL: Crisis?

- On the bright side, our Yakkstreet Boys tribute band idea

just became a lot more feasible.

- I call Nick Carter! - Which one am I?

YAKKOS: Howie D! - Ah! I give up!

You win! Just please don't draw me a bunch of extra arms!

Anything but that!

[grunt, struggling]

♪

- Have mercy on me, Yakko.

Outside of my vintage console collection,

ironic '90s T-shirts, and my blog critiquing the overuse

of plot armor in the last two seasons of Game Of Thrones,

tormenting my cartoons is the only outlet I have.

And you're my favorite Warner sibling. I mean, honest, really. You are.

- Well, I mean, yeah. Of course.

Alright, sister, I'll let you off the hook,

but you are gonna do something for me.

[birds chirping]

[clicking, beep] - Unt how does zat make you feel?

- Nein. How does zat make you feel?

- Nein, nein, nein. I'm asking you

how does zat make you feel?

[clang] [grunting, strain]

[high-pitched grunting]

- Mein gains!

- Which is why we can expect sustained... [clicking, beeping]

[Daffy Duck's voice] ...increases in studio profitability.

Say, do we even have the right to use this voice?

♪