Original subtitles

[thunder]

♪ Pinky & The Brain theme song ♪

[wheel creaking] - Gee, Brain,

what do you wanna do tonight?

BRAIN: The same thing we do every night, Pinky.

Try to take over the world!

[thunder]

♪

- ♪ They're Pinky and the Brain ♪

♪ Yes, Pinky and the Brain ♪

♪ One is a genius ♪

♪ The other's insane ♪

♪ They're laboratory mice ♪

♪ Their genes have been spliced ♪

♪ They're dinky, they're Pinky and the Brain ♪

♪ Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain ♪

♪

♪

- Aw, he's so cute!

Aw!

[scribbling]

Huh. That's odd. I thought I wore my engagement ring

to work today. [door shuts]

- Finally!

♪

Bleh...

[ring clatters]

♪

[beep]

Come, Pinky. This diamond should be enough to initiate my plan.

Pinky?

[laughing]

Tell me you're not still watching that ridiculous cartoon.

- [laughing] Oh, but Brain,

these Backwards Gary videos are my absolute favoritest thing

on the whole "intrenet"! [laughs]

- It's internet!

- Whose net?

- ♪ He'll brighten your day, face the wrong way ♪

♪ Backwards Gary's here to stay! ♪

♪ Backwards Gary, he is here to stay ♪

[footsteps]

[footsteps]

- Um, hello? [screaming]

Ah!

Ah!

[screaming continues]

[crash]

[laughing]

Ah!

- I don't understand the appeal of these silly webisodes.

It seems to me like a bunch of incessant screaming.

- Exactly. Funny screaming.

- No, it is not. Now, turn that off!

We have work to do.

[straining]

Using the crystalline carbon structure of a diamond,

I have invented a new form of teleportation.

Unfortunately, only a diamond of perfect clarity is capable of powering

the machine more than a single time.

[inhale]

♪

Which is why you and I must use this

and travel to the Smithsonian to steal the Hope Diamond.

Such a magnificent jewel would turn

my humble device from a novelty of science

into a mighty weapon!

Pinky, are you listening to me?

[screaming] [laughing]

You've had enough screen time.

To the Smithsonian!

[beeping, hissing]

[groaning]

Pinky, when's the last time you bathed?

- Ooh! Stinky Pinky, huh, Brain?

♪ It's Stinky, Stinky and the Brain! ♪

- Lucky for me, we'll only be in such close proximity

for a few horrible moments.

[screaming] Ah!

- Narf! [zap]

♪

[screaming]

GARY: Ah!

[screaming]

[screaming]

[screaming]

[screaming]

♪

[zap] [clang]

- Zort! Ow.

You know, traveling in that thing is pretty neat,

but the Wi-Fi was a little spotty.

Also, I didn't love that one part where I was in agonizing pain

because my body was being torn into a million pieces.

Was it supposed to feel like that, Brain?

Say, Brain? Brain, where are you?

- Where are you? I'm right here.

- Where? Where is whe-- Where? Where?

- On no. It can't be.

I'm back here...

on your back!

- Egad! We're stuck together!

Ooh! What fun. What should our new name be?

How about Brinky?

Or Prain?

- Gah! I don't understand how this could've happened.

Perhaps there was a malfunction in the signal interceptor,

or the entangled photons... GARY: Ah!

Ah! - Can you please be quiet, Brain?

I'm trying to watch my show.

- Ow! - Ow!

- You fool. Don't you see?

The teleporter merged the data stream from your stupid show,

and scrambled our bio signatures!

Narf! Narf! - Narf!

- Oh no. Our neural pathways are already intermingling.

If you and I don't get back to the lab soon,

my worst nightmare will be realized,

and we'll be fused together forever!

- I shall do whatever it takes to fix this, Brain.

Very quickly and-- Ooh, look!

A 4D-MAX movie about the forest floor!

Ah! [grunts]

- No, Pinky. If we have any hope of separating ourselves,

we must retrieve the Hope Diamond

to get the teleporter working again! Come!

Pinky, move.

No, the other way. PINKY: Righto!

♪

- Keep going. Keep going.

[bang] [muffled] Stop.

There it is, Pinky.

The Hope Diamond.

Now, to retrieve the diamond without being noticed.

We must carefully and slowly...

Whoa! Ah! PINKY: Whee!

[clang, alarm blaring]

BRAIN: Egad! I mean,

Pinky, you heedless half-wit.

Now, I must execute my backup plan!

- Oh? What's that, Brain? - Backing... up!

[glass shattering]

- Ow!

MUSEUM GUARD: Oh no. Oh, please don't run.

I've been meaning to work out, but then I went on a cruise

and injured my knee in a corn-eating contest.

- Run, Pinky!

[laughs]

♪

[sighs]

BRAIN: Left! Go left! No,

my left, your right!

- I... I am? Oh, Brain!

You've never said that to me!

- What? - Give me a hug, you wonderful mouse!

BRAIN: What are you doing? Just jump!

- Isn't this-- Ah!

[both groaning]

[groaning continues]

- [grunts] Narf! [groans]

Oh, we need to talk about your fear of intimacy.

All I asked for was a hug, Brain.

Brain?

[clatter]

[gasps] Oh, look who's having a little nap. Hm!

Okay, what would Brain tell me to do in this situation?

[sizzling]

♪

- Pinky? What happened? [chewing, humming]

- Mm? Oh! You're awake. [gulps]

Well, first, I went to buy a hot dog,

but then I found this one in the trash. Ah...

[chewing]

[vomiting]

But I still had the diamond burning a hole in my pocket,

so I decided to get a soft pretzel instead.

- Oh! Soft pretzels!

I love how soft they are!

- Exactly. But,

the pretzel vendor is cash only, so I came here to get money.

- Brilliant, Pinky! We can trade the diamond in for a pen.

And with that pen, we can write a letter to Santa Claus,

and he can help us open a checking account!

- But, it will need to be a joint checking account, right?

[maniacal laughter] [laughter]

- Oh no. My brain sticks are getting floppy.

[grunts] I mean, my neurological pathways are being overtaken by yours.

I have to regain control!

[grunts] - Oh!

BRAIN: Whoa! [grunts]

♪

[gasps]

Hey, that's my stolen diamond! [grunts]

[straining]

[struggling] - Ow!

- Quickly, Pinky. If we have any hope of separating,

you must follow that man! - That man!

- No, Pinky! [Pinky groaning]

♪

[grunts]

- Oh boy. I can't believe I got a whole genuine

Warren G. Harding $40 bill for that diamond.

- [panting] Brain?

♪

Zort! There it is!

[twang]

- Focus, Pinky. The diamond is over there.

- Ooh!

Are you pondering what I'm pondering?

- I think so, Pinky, but can a relationship with a puppet ever be...

BOTH: No strings attached?

[both laugh]

[banging] [laughter continues]

- Listen carefully, Pinky,

before my mid-frontal cortex turns to pudding.

BOTH: Ooh! Pudding!

- [shaking] No! No!

We must construct a teleporter to take us back through

the same hole in spacetime we traveled through before.

Crack open that thing over there that's all glowed up.

- You mean this neon sign? - Uh, yes.

Yes, right. That thing.

[grunts]

[straining]

[screaming]

♪

Excellent. Now, we need tungsten from those Faulex watches.

- Oh! To do the thing with the things?

- Exactly!

[grunts]

[whirring, zap] Finally!

We need something resembling a reflector dish to...

you know, reflect it.

- Oh! How about this!

- Egad, perfect!

Turn the plate so the beam boinks until it blunks!

- Huh?

[both screaming]

[panting]

[grunts] [zap]

- Just one last thing.

[as Pinky]: Ooh! A shiny!

- You know, Brain, for the first time,

I feel like we truly understand each other.

- [normal accent]: Right back at you, Plompers!

[zap, whirring]

♪

- Ah!

- Now, jump! [both yelling]

[zapping]

[grunting]

We did it. Our consciousnesses have been uncoupled,

and our physical forms appear unscathed.

- Are you still pondering what I'm pondering?

- Thankfully no.

Come, Pinky. We must prepare for tomorrow night.

- Why, Brain? What are we gonna do tomorrow night?

- The same thing we do every night, Pinky.

Try to take over the world!

[Gary screaming]