Original subtitles

♪ theme song playing ♪

‐ ♪ It's time for Animaniacs ♪

♪ And we're zany to the max ♪

♪ So just sit back and relax ♪

♪ You'll laugh till you collapse ♪

♪ We're Animaniacs! ♪

‐ ♪ Come join the Warner Brothers ♪ ‐ ♪ And the Warner Sister Dot ♪

♪ Just for fun, we run around the Warner movie lot ♪

♪ They lock us in the tower whenever we get caught ♪

♪ But we break loose and then vamoose and now you know the plot ♪

♪ We're Animaniacs ♪

♪ Dot has wit and Yakko yaks ♪

♪ Wakko packs away the snacks ♪

♪ Our careers have made comebacks ♪

♪ We're Animaniacs! ♪

♪ Meet Pinky and the Brain who want to rule the universe ♪

♪ A brand new cast who tested well in focus group research ♪

♪ Gender balanced, pronoun neutral ♪

♪ And ethnically diverse ♪

♪ The trolls will say we're so passé, but we did meta first ♪

♪ We're Animaniacs ♪

♪ You should see our new contracts ♪

♪ We're zany to the max, there's baloney in our slacks ♪

♪ We're animan‐ey, totally insane‐y ♪

♪ Never man‐splain‐y ♪

♪ Animaniacs! Those are the facts ♪

♪

♪ baroque music ♪

YAKKO: Finally! Our Giuseppe Arcimboldo

tribute sculpture is complete!

‐ And it only took us three months!

‐ Who's Giuseppe Arcimboldo again?

‐ I'm glad you asked, Wakko!

♪ upbeat music playing ♪

♪ In 16th‐century Italy‐‐ ♪

[doorbell] [music ends]

Ah, guess the song will have to wait.

[creepy laugh]

Ah!

‐ Howdy! I'm Dwayne LaPistol, your new neighbor!

[horn blaring]

♪

Just came by to introduce myself and show you my buns.

[squeaking] ‐ Good night, everybody!

‐ Not those buns!

These buns.

[squeak] DOT/WAKKO: Aw!

‐ I got big ones, small ones,

even ones that come with their own bun‐stocks!

Don't you just wanna clutch 'em tight

and never let 'em go?

DOT/WAKKO: Oh, can we keep them? Can we? Can we?

‐ People need buns in these uncertain times.

Better to have one and not need it than need one and not have it.

‐ Alright. Whatever you say, Dwayne.

You're weird. Bye!

[laughing]

♪

‐ Aw... [laugh]

[sinister laugh]

♪

[sniffing, maniacal laugh]

[laughing]

[gasp]

[primal scream]

♪ peaceful music ♪

[cawing, gasp]

[cawing]

[yawn]

[crash]

[chirping]

‐ [yawn] This toothpaste tastes strange. Has a real kick to it.

‐ There's a bunny on your head,

and in your spoon,

and in your mouth. And on my feet.

[screaming]

ALL: They're multiplying!

[bunnies chirping]

‐ Now, the children will never hear my educational song

about Italian Mannerist portrait artists!

That's it! These adorable little monsters

have got to go!

♪

[growling]

[grunt]

‐ Howdy again, neighbors! Here for more buns?

‐ No. We wanna give these back.

‐ Are you crazy?

[belch] ‐ But we have too many!

‐ No such thing.

On this great WB lot of ours,

we're free to have all the buns we want.

Your problem is you don't have enough buns.

Studies show that owners of multiple buns

feel safer from the threat of...

other owners of multiple buns.

♪

‐ Oh, now you're just fear‐mongering.

‐ That's the... one, two, three... fourth worst monger,

right after war, rumor, and fish.

‐ There has to be some kind of limit, doesn't there?

‐ Nope!

Glad we had this exchange of ideas. Now run along,

or I'll have to get out the big buns.

[playing sprightly tune]

[heavy thudding]

‐ Don't touch me, you jacked juice bunny!

‐ Those are big words for such a little lady!

Why don't you take these three back to their mommy?

[crack, smash]

ALL: Hi.

‐ Call me!

‐ I don't know if you've noticed,

but we have a serious bunny infestation.

[chirping] [glove rips]

‐ Ooh. Infestation is what I call

a "truth word."

I prefer in‐fun‐station!

[chirping]

I'm not going to tell anyone that they can or can't have one.

It's in the constitution.

Wait, is it in the constitution?

Look, my decision is final.

If you've got a problem with it,

fill out a comment card on the 19th floor.

‐ But, there is no 19th floor!

‐ Well, great! Now, you have two things to put on your comment card.

[toilet flush]

[elevator beeping]

[metallic creaking]

[creaking, straining]

‐ Oh no! The water tower!

‐ She's gonna blow!

[pop]

♪

[screaming]

[crowd screaming, gurgling]

[maniacal laughter]

[grunt]

[laughing]

[gasping]

[belch]

‐ That's it! Fellas, you know what this means.

It's time to go to war! ‐ War!

‐ Lunch!

Oops, sorry. War. It's time to go to war.

‐ Let's do this.

♪

‐ Yakko Warner! Yak attack!

‐ Dot Warner!

And don't call me Dottie!

‐ Wakko Warner!

I've got an appetite for destruction!

[explosion]

♪ epic guitar music ♪

[maniacal laughter]

[laughing]

[blast, zooming]

[energy humming]

[explosions]

[zooming]

[crack, shatter]

WAKKO: Ah!

[explosion]

[laughing]

[screaming]

[grunt]

[whirring, blasting]

[gasp] [yell]

[explosion]

♪

[both straining]

[screaming]

[gasp]

[zapping]

[grunt]

‐ Uh oh.

[explosion]

♪

[gasping]

[laughing]

‐ Wakko! Help us!

‐ Do something fast! We're being pulled down under!

‐ That's it! Down under!

[belch] [dialing, ringing]

Hello, Australia? You folks know how to solve

the issue of bun violence, don't you?

[didgeridoo sounds] Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh huh.

Sure, I'll take one of those, please.

[gulp]

[plane flying overhead] ‐ Da plane! Da plane!

‐ Huh?

♪

DINGOES: G'day! G'day! G'day!

How you going? How you going? How you going? How you going?

‐ Oh no! Dingoes!

[gasp] [growling]

Please don't eat my babies!

[roars]

DINGOES:

Cheers, mate! Cheers, mate! Cheers, mate! Cheers, mate!

‐ Wow. For a second there,

I thought they were just gonna eat all the buns.

‐ Nope. The only thing biting here is the satire.

‐ You can't do this to me!

I'm a responsible bun owner!

I'm proving to the world we all have a right

to bear buns! [squeaking]

‐ Not here. This is a kid's show.

[tires screech]

‐ After this, I'm not doing any more thinly veiled allegories.

‐ Oh, I get it!

This entire sketch is a metaphor for shoes!

‐ Yeah, Wakko. Because America has too much

high capacity shoe violence.

‐ What is it then? Banks? Motorcycles?

Varieties of salad dressing? What!?

DOT: We'll tell you when you're a little older.

[thunder]

♪