Original subtitles

[SNORING]

Huh? Huh?

Huh?

[GROWLS]

[ALL GIBBERING]

Eeh!

Eeh!

Heh, heh, heh. Hiya, boys and girls.

[ALL SHRIEKING AND GIBBERING]

[ALL SIGHS]

Now, if I could just figure out how to set the clock.

ALL [SINGING] It's time for Animaniacs

And we're zany to the max

So just sit back and relax You'll laugh till you collapse

We're Animaniacs

-Come join the Warner brothers -And the Warner sister, Dot

Just for fun we run around The Warner movie lot

They lock us in the tower Whenever we get caught

But we break loose and then vamoose And now you know the plot

We're Animaniacs

Dot is cute and Yakko yaks

Wakko packs away the snacks We pay tons of income tax

We're Animaniacs

Meet Ralph and Dr. Scratchansniff Say hi to Hello, Nurse

Goodfeathers flock together Slappy whacks them with her purse

Buttons chases Mindy While Rita sings a verse

The writers flipped, we have no script Why bother to rehearse?

We're Animaniacs

We have pay-or-play contracts

We're zany to the max There's bologna in our slacks

We're Animan-y

Totally insane-y

Bowling lane-y

Animaniacs

Those are the facts

ALL [SINGING]: The crankiest of creatures In the whole wide world

Our next cartoon Features Slappy the Squirrel

Enough with the singing already.

That's Slappy

I'd like to say how very happy I am to be here.

I'd also like to be stuck on a deserted island with Morey Amsterdam, but I'm not.

I didn't ask for this job.

In fact, I'm missing a Ricki Lake episode for you people.

I'm talking sacrifice here.

Actually, I'm doing it for my nephew, Skippy.

You're the greatest, Aunt Slappy.

Coaching does have its small rewards.

I want you to march onto that field and beat those bozos into a quiche lorraine.

SKIPPY: All right. KID: Let's go.

Now, go out there and do whatever it is you do in soccer.

With luck, I'll still get home in time to watch Geraldo.

[WHISTLE BLOWS]

Watch this, Aunt Slappy.

[CRYING]

I haven't seen an opening this bad since Henny Youngman played the Poconos.

There, there, Skippy.

Why don't you take a load off on the sidelines.

You can't take me out of the game, Aunt Slappy. I wanna play. I wanna play.

I gotta hand it to him. The kid's got chutzpah.

What's chutzpah?

Something you don't wanna cough up.

Now, go and play over there, out of the line of fire.

Thanks, coach.

Pass it to me. Pass it to me. Pass it t--

[CRYING]

I think we're looking at early retirement here.

Which way did he go, George? Which way did he go?

Time for a little sit down, Skippy.

Don't bench me, Aunt Slappy, please.

[WHIMPERING]

Well, all right, but for crying out loud, keep your head down.

Right, coach.

I stole it, Aunt Slappy.

I stole the ball.

Attaboy, Skippy. That's it.

You got it, kid, you got it.

[THUMP]

[SKIPPY CRYING]

He got it.

Which way did he go, George?

Which way did he go?

Maybe you should consider badminton.

I hear it's very exciting once your medication kicks in.

But soccer's the bestest game in the whole entire universe.

Even George Foreman needs a break between beatings.

Come on, Skippy, there's a spot on the bench with your name on it.

But we're close to the goal, Aunt Slappy. I just gotta play. I just gotta.

Well, if you just gotta.

-Where's the ball? -Over there.

Great. You go over there.

No, I wanna play.

[THUMP AND SKIPPY GRUNTS]

[SKIPPY CRYING]

I haven't seen anyone get hit in the kisser this much since Milton Berle.

Hiya, George.

Don't sweat it, Skippy.

I got just the spot that will make you a star.

ANNOUNCER: What a game.

With only 30 seconds left, the underdog U.S. leads 1 to nothing...

...in the World Cup final.

[CROWD CHEERING]

Brazil has the ball and is charging down the field.

Dunga to Romario. Romario breaks loose. Babbitto is wide-open. Romario to Babbitto.

Oh, these are the best shooters in the game, folks.

Babbitto shoots, straight at the new American goalkeeper.

Can he save it?

[CRYING]

[CROWD CHEERING]

No goal.

No goal!

It's a good thing you've done, George.

A real good thing.

[WHISTLE BLOWS]

ANNOUNCER: That's it. Game, ladies and gentlemen.

The U.S. wins the World Cup.

An unbelievable victory.

[CROWD CHEERING]

That's my nephew, always using his head.

Now, I smell endorsements.

[PHONE RINGING]

CHORUS [SINGING]: She's Katie Ka-Boom, Katie Ka-Boom

She lives in a house With a garden in bloom

Her family knows that anytime soon Their little lady, Katie, goes kaboom