Original subtitles

ALL [SINGING]: It's time for Animaniacs

And we're zany to the max

So just sit back and relax You'll laugh till you collapse

We're Animaniacs

-Come join the Warner brothers -And the Warner sister, Dot

WARNERS: Just for fun we run around The Warner movie lot

They lock us in the tower Whenever we get caught

But we break loose and then vamoose And now you know the plot

We're Animaniacs

Dot is cute and Yakko yaks

Wakko packs away the snacks We pay tons of income tax

We're Animaniacs

Meet Ralph and Dr. Scratchansniff Say hi to Hello, Nurse

Goodfeathers flock together Slappy whacks them with her purse

Buttons chases Mindy While Rita sings a verse

The writers flipped, we have no script Why bother to rehearse?

ALL: We're Animaniacs

We have pay-or-play contracts

We're zany to the max There's bologna in our slacks

We're Animan-y

Totally insane-y

Hunchback of Notre Dame-y

ALL: Animaniacs

Those are the facts

[RINGS]

Backstage.

[MAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY OVER PHONE]

Sorry, Mr. Webby's busy rehearsing.

No, he cannot be disturbed. Tonight's opening night.

[GRUNTS]

ALL [SINGING] We're Cats of Phantom Boulevard

Oh, wow

Now singing, now dancing Now ticket sales advancing

We're the Cats of Phantom Boulevard

ALL: Fat Cats of Phantom Boulevard

Yow

Great. Fabulous. Splendid singing.

Except...

Except what?

This note and this note. And this note and this note and this note!

Your singing stinks!

You can't talk to me like that!

I'm a star! I quit!

Quit?

Nobody quits an Andy Lloud Webby musical.

I'm an institution!

I'm a legend!

-Ten minutes to curtain, Mr. Webby. -I'm a dead man.

I need a new leading lady or my reputation is ruined.

I know. I'll pick someone out of the chorus line.

A new protégé. But who?

[GIRLS CHATTERING]

How about that girl?

You will be my greatest leading lady.

You're so vulnerable.

So dynamic.

So, so...

Very, very cute?

Yes. Well, the show will go on.

-Three minutes to curtain, Mr. Webby. -Three minutes?

Now, listen, darling.

You may walk onto that stage a shy little girl...

...but tonight, a star will be born!

Ooh. I'll boil water.

[ALL CHATTERING]

[ORCHESTRA PLAYING DRAMATIC SHOW TUNE]

Hello, boy nurses.

Mwah. Mwah.

Places, people, places.

It's showtime. And as we theater folks say...

..-.break a leg.

[ACTORS GRUNT]

-Close enough. -Oh, no. Now what will I do?

Who will play those parts?

How about that boy?

-Stop it! -The curtain's rising.

What will I do?

WARNERS: Just leave everything to us.

[SINGING] I came in here and took a seat

He says don't eat candy that is sweet I said to him my heart is breaking

I chewed some gum and that's the truth It pulled the filling from a tooth

And now [ feel my back teeth aching

Dental Avenue, painful avenue

Root canal is only the beginning

Toothless avenue, ruthless avenue

And only my dentist will be grinning

What? That's not in the script.

[SINGING] Snoring, boring, the play is confusing

Lay back, way back Soon I will be snoozing

-Think I need a break ALL: Zzz.

YAKKO: 'Cause this feeling I can't shake

And I'll have to go And take a nap instead

[ALL SNORING]

Well, my job here is done.

What? Next scene!

Now!

[SINGING] Shack time Gotta nosh in the midnight

The time is right for a light bite

Gotta eat something tonight

A cookie, a sandwich A cruller or Limburger cheese

No more fish balls if you please

[BURPS]

Now's the time to dine

No! Just do it the way I wrote it!

Dough, some cash, a wad of cash

Ray, a guy who fixes cars

Me, the one who takes out the trash

ALL: Far, the distance to the stars

So, a word that goes with well

LA, a city where we dwell

Tea, with honey it tastes swell

YAKKO & WAKKO: And that bring us back to -Dough

No! That's not even my song!

You terrible children!

You're ruining my play!

ALL: Don't shout at us, Mr. Webby

Because your show's a floppo

When your plays stink You blame the actors

You know what we think There are other factors

Like the playwright needs to rewrite

And the libretto needs a stiletto

And the entire book needs a new cook

If you composed it

Then you dispose it

[AUDIENCE CHEERING]

What? Do you hear that?

They liked it.

They like me!

[GRUNTS]

Now, Dot's entertainment.

Dot's all, folks.

NARRATOR: In 1931, the Warner Bros. cartoon studio...

...was short on cash, so for a sizable fee...

...they agreed to loan out Yakko, Wakko and Dot Warner to the competition:

The Fleichman cartoon studios in New York.

There, the Warner brothers costarred with the immortal Googi Goop...

...in the cartoon entitled Little Red Riding Goop.

This long-lost film was recently rediscovered under a crate of toupees...

...in the garage of Frank Sinatra's Palm Springs home.

These kids, Yakky, Wakky and the Dotto, now, they were very hip.

I dug them, and I still do dig them.

And as for Googi, well, what can I say?

She dated Bimbo, who's a dog for pity's sake...

...and that's why she's a groove, baby.

NARRATOR: And now, for the first time in over six decades...

...the Warners and Googi Goop in Little Red Riding Goop.