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1
00:00:07,341 --> 00:00:10,902
[SINGING]
It's time for Animaniacs
2
00:00:11,078 --> 00:00:13,547
And we're zany to the max
3
00:00:13,714 --> 00:00:16,877
So just sit back and relax
You'll laugh till you collapse
4
00:00:17,050 --> 00:00:19,451
We're Animaniacs
5
00:00:19,620 --> 00:00:22,681
-Come join the Warner brothers
-And the Warner sister, Dot
6
00:00:22,856 --> 00:00:25,791
Just for fun we run around
The Warner movie lot
7
00:00:25,959 --> 00:00:28,451
They lock us in the tower
Whenever we get caught
8
00:00:28,629 --> 00:00:31,428
But we break loose and then vamoose
And now you know the plot
9
00:00:31,598 --> 00:00:33,896
We're Animaniacs
10
00:00:34,067 --> 00:00:36,900
Dot is cute and Yakko yaks
11
00:00:37,070 --> 00:00:40,040
Wakko packs away the snacks
We pay tons of income tax
12
00:00:40,207 --> 00:00:42,039
We're Animaniacs
13
00:00:42,976 --> 00:00:45,809
Meet Ralph and Dr. Scratchansniff
And say hi to Hello Nurse
14
00:00:45,979 --> 00:00:48,778
Goodfeathers flock together
Slappy whacks them with her purse
15
00:00:48,949 --> 00:00:51,577
Buttons chases Mindy
While Rita sings a verse
16
00:00:51,752 --> 00:00:54,619
The writers flipped, we have no script
Why bother to rehearse?
17
00:00:54,788 --> 00:00:57,086
We're Animaniacs
18
00:00:57,257 --> 00:01:00,090
We have pay-or-play contracts
19
00:01:00,260 --> 00:01:03,161
We're zany to the max
There's bologna in our slacks
20
00:01:03,330 --> 00:01:04,661
We're Animan-y
21
00:01:04,831 --> 00:01:06,162
Totally insane-y
22
00:01:06,333 --> 00:01:07,664
Novocaine-y
23
00:01:07,834 --> 00:01:09,928
Animaniacs
24
00:01:10,103 --> 00:01:12,037
Those are the facts
25
00:01:21,481 --> 00:01:24,075
YAKKO: This is the city.
It could be any city, but it's not.
26
00:01:24,251 --> 00:01:25,844
It's Burbank.
27
00:01:26,019 --> 00:01:27,282
I'm a private eye.
28
00:01:27,454 --> 00:01:31,721
I used to be a semi-private eye
with a bath and a kitchenette, but I digress.
29
00:01:31,892 --> 00:01:34,589
I was sitting in our office
reading the narration for this cartoon...
30
00:01:34,761 --> 00:01:36,593
...while my operatives
were finishing up our last case.
31
00:01:36,763 --> 00:01:37,787
[BURPS]
32
00:01:37,965 --> 00:01:40,059
Sorry, it's ratings sweeps week.
33
00:01:40,233 --> 00:01:42,600
My name’s Yakko,
I'm the brains of the outfit.
34
00:01:42,769 --> 00:01:46,262
Dot's the heart, and Wakko's a toss-up
between the spleen and the pancreas.
35
00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:48,807
We were a well-oiled machine
with everything but a client...
36
00:01:48,976 --> 00:01:49,966
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
37
00:01:50,143 --> 00:01:51,440
...until she came in.
38
00:01:51,612 --> 00:01:55,173
[SINGING] I've got a big, bold way
Of smelling things
39
00:01:55,349 --> 00:01:56,373
No, not her.
40
00:01:57,618 --> 00:01:59,518
Her.
41
00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:07,689
BOTH:
Hello, Femme Fatale Nurse.
42
00:02:07,861 --> 00:02:09,386
Boys, go fig.
43
00:02:10,530 --> 00:02:13,295
Stay away from the window.
I've been tailed.
44
00:02:13,467 --> 00:02:15,458
Oh, that sounds painful.
45
00:02:15,636 --> 00:02:17,798
-They're not getting mine.
-No, no, no.
46
00:02:17,971 --> 00:02:20,633
-I mean, I've been followed.
-There's a shocker.
47
00:02:22,476 --> 00:02:25,138
-I need your help.
-Faboo.
48
00:02:25,479 --> 00:02:26,969
So, sister, what's your story?
49
00:02:27,147 --> 00:02:29,445
Well, | was born in the wagon
of a traveling show.
50
00:02:29,616 --> 00:02:31,880
My mama used to dance
for the money they'd throw.
51
00:02:32,052 --> 00:02:34,544
-Papa would do what--
-Not you, her.
52
00:02:34,721 --> 00:02:38,021
[SINGING]
It's only one eye, but it's open
53
00:02:38,191 --> 00:02:40,353
No, not you either. Her.
54
00:02:40,661 --> 00:02:42,220
You said "sister."
55
00:02:42,396 --> 00:02:44,524
Call women "sister'
56
00:02:44,698 --> 00:02:48,430
...In the politically-unaware decades
preceding women's liberation.
57
00:02:49,036 --> 00:02:52,267
So, sister, who's really not my sister
but I'm just calling sister...
58
00:02:52,773 --> 00:02:54,537
...you were about to describe a caper.
59
00:02:54,708 --> 00:02:58,804
Well, it's a little green, pickled thing
sometimes found in salads.
60
00:02:58,979 --> 00:03:01,141
That is absolutely correct.
Tell her what she's won.
61
00:03:01,314 --> 00:03:03,373
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
62
00:03:03,550 --> 00:03:05,143
A date with me.
63
00:03:05,318 --> 00:03:08,185
-Excuse me. Am I in the right place?
-And you are...?
64
00:03:08,355 --> 00:03:09,880
-Freakazoid.
-Oh, right.
65
00:03:10,057 --> 00:03:14,358
No, the Freakazoid set is down the hall,
third door on the right, Stage 12...
66
00:03:14,528 --> 00:03:15,825
Bleh! Bleh, bleh!
67
00:03:15,996 --> 00:03:17,862
... think, but it may have changed.
68
00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:19,863
Thanks.
69
00:03:20,434 --> 00:03:22,801
This is a zany episode.
70
00:03:22,969 --> 00:03:25,870
ANNOUNCER:
And now, back to our story.
71
00:03:26,039 --> 00:03:27,564
Tell us, how can we help you?
72
00:03:27,741 --> 00:03:29,903
Yes, please tell us. Please.
73
00:03:30,077 --> 00:03:32,774
So that we can go home sometime
in the near future.
74
00:03:32,946 --> 00:03:36,473
Well, it's about my boss.
You see, he's missing.
75
00:03:36,650 --> 00:03:39,051
He's missing what?
Eyes? Hair? A personality?
76
00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:42,849
No, no, no. He's gone.
My boss has vanished.
77
00:03:43,023 --> 00:03:45,082
Would you do that "no, no, no" thing
again?
78
00:03:45,258 --> 00:03:46,851
No, no, no.
79
00:03:47,027 --> 00:03:48,051
I love that.
80
00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:49,787
My boss has vanished.
81
00:03:49,963 --> 00:03:52,398
So I guess that means you're available
for temp work.
82
00:03:52,699 --> 00:03:54,963
This could conceivably go on forever.
83
00:03:55,135 --> 00:03:56,330
Can you find him?
84
00:03:56,503 --> 00:03:59,063
Of course we can find him.
Now, about our fee...
85
00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:01,139
I'm prepared to pay well.
86
00:04:01,308 --> 00:04:03,970
-Fine. We only ask one thing.
-What's that?
87
00:04:04,144 --> 00:04:06,875
Never put us on opposite 60 Minutes,
we'll get creamed.
88
00:04:07,047 --> 00:04:08,071
[GRUNTS]
89
00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:10,876
-I'm confused.
-What else is new?
90
00:04:11,051 --> 00:04:13,645
Is that true about the wagon
and the traveling show?
91
00:04:13,820 --> 00:04:15,379
I don't remember that.
92
00:04:15,555 --> 00:04:17,080
Can we please move on?
93
00:04:17,357 --> 00:04:20,691
Sure. Now tell us,
where did you last see your boss?
94
00:04:20,861 --> 00:04:23,592
In the Mambo Room
at the Tropicombo club.
95
00:04:23,864 --> 00:04:26,128
A band was playing Latin dance music.
96
00:04:26,299 --> 00:04:28,996
I was with the doctor.
He mumbled something.
97
00:04:29,169 --> 00:04:31,160
The band had a big dumb guy
playing drums...
98
00:04:31,338 --> 00:04:35,206
...and everyone was dancing under a pole.
Then the doctor vanished.
99
00:04:35,375 --> 00:04:38,276
Now, let me get this straight.
He muttered some mumbo jumbo...
100
00:04:38,445 --> 00:04:41,142
...during the combo's samba
in the Mambo at the Tropicombo.
101
00:04:41,314 --> 00:04:44,750
There was a jumbo dumbo playing the limbo
on the bongos, then he was gone?
102
00:04:44,918 --> 00:04:46,283
That is absolutely correct.
103
00:04:46,453 --> 00:04:47,545
Tell her what she's won.
104
00:04:47,721 --> 00:04:48,745
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
105
00:04:48,922 --> 00:04:50,617
Another date with me.
106
00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:53,283
How come I always get the booby prize?
107
00:04:53,460 --> 00:04:55,053
I'm not touching that one.
108
00:04:55,228 --> 00:04:57,253
Let's hit the road.
109
00:04:57,497 --> 00:05:01,024
YAKKO: So we beat it down
to the Tropicombo club.
110
00:05:01,334 --> 00:05:03,325
[BAND PLAYING LATIN MUSIC]
111
00:05:05,772 --> 00:05:09,640
We were taking in the show when
somebody tried to slip a Mickey in my drink.
112
00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:11,801
Nice try, bub, but I work for Warners.
113
00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:20,309
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
114
00:05:21,421 --> 00:05:22,411
[WHISTLES]
115
00:05:22,589 --> 00:05:24,990
Hey, bongo boy,
we wanna chew the fat with you.
116
00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:26,626
Ew!
117
00:05:26,860 --> 00:05:31,229
Duh, by God, sir,
I'm a guy who likes talking to a guy...
118
00:05:31,398 --> 00:05:35,528
...who likes to talk to a guy
what plays the bongos that likes to talk.
119
00:05:35,802 --> 00:05:37,702
Whew. Have you got issues.
120
00:05:37,871 --> 00:05:39,100
Have you seen this guy?
121
00:05:39,272 --> 00:05:41,604
Duh, I don't like to talk about that.
122
00:05:42,943 --> 00:05:44,934
[YAKKO, WAKKO & DOT SCREAMING]
123
00:05:45,412 --> 00:05:47,346
Uh-oh. My bongos.
124
00:05:47,581 --> 00:05:50,516
Uh, I mean, by God, sir.
125
00:05:56,723 --> 00:05:58,714
[ALL GRUNT]
126
00:05:59,893 --> 00:06:01,622
Hey, it's the bird from the photo.
127
00:06:01,795 --> 00:06:03,354
WOMAN 1:
I'll take that.
128
00:06:08,602 --> 00:06:11,537
BOTH:
Hello, gorgeous mystery lady.
129
00:06:11,805 --> 00:06:14,035
Never mind that, just give me the bird.
130
00:06:14,207 --> 00:06:16,198
We can't. This is a family show.
131
00:06:19,112 --> 00:06:21,547
Stay back, I'm packing a heater.
132
00:06:23,149 --> 00:06:25,709
You can't argue with that, it's too stupid.
133
00:06:28,989 --> 00:06:33,358
Duh, hold it, by God, sir. The bird is mine.
134
00:06:33,526 --> 00:06:35,722
[IN EASTERN EUROPEAN ACCENT]
Yeah, and now it's mine.
135
00:06:36,196 --> 00:06:37,493
Hey, we found him.
136
00:06:37,664 --> 00:06:40,895
Hold it right there, fella,
we've been looking for you.
137
00:06:41,234 --> 00:06:45,228
The statue is mine. It's mine.
Mine, do you hear?
138
00:06:47,540 --> 00:06:50,669
I gotta tell you,
that is the worst Peter Lorre I've ever heard.
139
00:06:50,977 --> 00:06:54,641
I don't care. In five minutes,
I'll sell the statue for millions.
140
00:06:55,382 --> 00:06:58,249
WOMAN 2: You mean, I'll sell it.
-It's her.
141
00:06:58,418 --> 00:07:03,356
[SINGING] / want a foot-long hot dog
And a lemonade
142
00:07:03,657 --> 00:07:05,955
No, no, no. Not her, me.
143
00:07:06,126 --> 00:07:09,721
Wait a minute, you weren't looking for him.
You were looking for that statue.
144
00:07:09,896 --> 00:07:11,591
That is absolutely correct.
145
00:07:11,765 --> 00:07:13,028
Tell her what she's won.
146
00:07:13,566 --> 00:07:15,534
One more date with me.
147
00:07:15,802 --> 00:07:18,794
Plus, this lovely Capo di Monte sculpture.
148
00:07:18,972 --> 00:07:20,030
Thanks.
149
00:07:20,540 --> 00:07:23,271
I claim this statue
in the name of Gulf & Western.
150
00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:25,969
I claim it in the name of Rupert Murdoch.
151
00:07:26,146 --> 00:07:29,980
Duh, by God, sir,
I claim it in the name of Matsushimi--
152
00:07:30,150 --> 00:07:33,313
Uh, Matsushooti-- Duh, for Seagrams.
153
00:07:33,586 --> 00:07:38,490
Ah, I've got it. The mink is working for Fox,
the pair of legs is working for Paramount...
154
00:07:38,658 --> 00:07:41,127
...and the guy who needs rehearsal
is working for Universal.
155
00:07:41,428 --> 00:07:43,055
Thank you, Dr. Seuss.
156
00:07:46,599 --> 00:07:50,058
The only thing I can't figure out
is who are you working for?
157
00:07:50,403 --> 00:07:52,098
I'm not working for anybody.
158
00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:55,669
[GRUNTS]
159
00:07:55,842 --> 00:07:57,241
At last, I've got it.
160
00:07:57,610 --> 00:08:01,843
This microfilm contains all the best ideas
for making the funny cartoons. Ha-ha-ha.
161
00:08:02,015 --> 00:08:05,007
Ooh. Those guys upstairs
will pay me millions for this.
162
00:08:05,919 --> 00:08:10,516
Here they are. All the great cartoon ideas
you'll need for your new studio.
163
00:08:10,690 --> 00:08:15,423
But we don't want them. You see,
we have our own, you know, brilliant ideas.
164
00:08:15,595 --> 00:08:17,529
[SCRATCHANSNIFF SIGHS]
165
00:08:18,064 --> 00:08:19,190
Who are those guys?
166
00:08:19,366 --> 00:08:22,825
YAKKO:
The stuff that DreamWorks are made of.
12899
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