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NARRATOR:
Ancient Greece.
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Over 2000 years ago,
Greek mortals worshiped many deities...
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...including Zeus,
who ruled from Mount Olympus...
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...and whose son was Hercules.
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Yes, Hercules.
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The greatest mortal hero
Greece had ever known.
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The ultimate symbol of strength
and courage.
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[SOBBING]
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My mean old dad, Zeus,
gave me 12 trials.
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A dozen big chores to do
and I don't wanna do them.
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[WHINING]
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[HERCULES SCREAMS]
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ZEUS: Hercules, finish your 12 labors
and quit goofing off.
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Hey, watch it. You singed my toga.
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I'm lost. Is that our cue?
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I don't know.
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[HERCULES SOBBING]
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Excuse us. What was that last line?
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Um... "You singed my toga"?
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No, no. The line before that.
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"My mean old dad, Zeus"?
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No, before that.
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Go away. You annoy me.
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That's it. That's our cue.
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Hello, Male Nurse.
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By Zeus' beard.
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No, we're not buying Zeus' beard.
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But I do own Elvis' sideburns.
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Who are you?
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[IN UNISON]
We're the Warner brothers.
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-I'm Yakkoleus.
-I'm Wakkamemnon.
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And I'm their adorable sister,
the goddess of cuteness, Aphrodotty.
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And we're here to help you
with your 12 chores.
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So how about a kiss?
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Ew. Who's been eating garlic?
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[SPITTING]
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Well, I did have Italian for lunch.
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Yuch. Boy, that's nasty.
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[SIGHS]
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Are you okay?
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Yeah. No. I don't know. I guess.
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I'm just not in the mood today.
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You wanna just skip this cartoon?
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-Yeah.
-Okay.
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See you, pal.
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Hey, hey, hey, wait.
What about helping me with my chores?
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Ow!
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[THUNDER CRASHING]
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Gah!
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ZEUS:
Get to work, Hercules.
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Where do I start?
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ZEUS:
Start by cleaning out the Aegean stables.
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[FLIES BUZZING]
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[SNIFFS]
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Ew.
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You always make me do the hard stuff
just because I'm super-duper strong.
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Guy.
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[SOBBING]
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ZEUS:
Stop whining and start shoveling.
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I'm not whining.
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[GRUNTING]
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All right, all right. I'm shoveling!
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Okay, class,
are you ready for question number V?
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CLASS:
Yes, Mr. Aristotle.
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All right, then. What is the secret
to Zeus' unlimited powers?
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Come on, come on, come on.
We covered this in Chapter X-double-I.
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The secret to Zeus' unlimited powers
is his mighty lightning bolt.
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Got that, you little goofs?
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[THUNDER CRASHING]
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Lightning bolt equals unlimited power.
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And we, Pinkus,
shall steal Zeus' lightning bolt...
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...overthrow his kingdom
and then take over the world.
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Zounds! Great idea, Brain, but how do we get
way up to the tippy top...
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...of Mount Olympus where Zeus lives?
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BRAIN:
I have that figured out, Pinkus.
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Behold, across the street...
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...the Aegean stables...
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...where legendary, famed
and godlike horse, Pegasus, spends the day.
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But at night,
he flies back to Mount Olympus.
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And tonight, Pinkus,
we shall be on that flight.
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Oh, I love to fly. Zhoom-zhoom. Ha-ha.
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Oh, can I have your little bag
of complimentary peanuts, Brain?
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Heh. Your anachronistic jest amuses me,
Pinkus.
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Now, be quiet or I shall have to hurt you.
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Mum's the word, Brain.
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[DOGS BARKING]
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BRAIN:
Run, Pinky. Run.
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Next time, Pinkus,
let sleeping guard dogs lie...
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...especially when they have three heads.
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Funny,
the middle head seemed so friendly.
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[FLIES BUZZING]
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I hate this chore.
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That's right, Pegasus, dishwashing liquid.
You're soaking in it.
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Okay, okay, so get this. Mercury's supposed
to take me dancing, but he shows up late...
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...and says, "Sorry, Medusa,
but I just flew down from Olympus...
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...and my feet are Killing me."
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Oh, he is such a snake in the grass,
which, of course, I like.
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00:05:37,470 --> 00:05:39,598
[NEIGHS THEN SNORTS]
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00:05:39,773 --> 00:05:45,109
Listen, Peg, I know you gotta fly out of here,
but I'm dying to braid your tail. No charge.
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[WHINNYING]
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There he is, Pinkus,
in all his winged glory.
102
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Aha. That shovel shall serve
as the perfect gangplank.
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00:06:03,230 --> 00:06:05,164
[NEIGHING]
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[HERCULES SIGHS]
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Ooh. I'm gonna need a manicure
after all this work.
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BOTH:
Oh!
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00:06:22,849 --> 00:06:24,840
[BOTH GASP THEN SCREAM]
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[GASPS]
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[PINKY & BRAIN PANTING]
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Hey, this manure is staring at me.
111
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Ew. Enchanted manure.
112
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Kill it. Kill it. Kill it.
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Oh! Be gone, foul manure sprites.
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[SCREAMS]
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[BOTH GASP]
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[NEIGHS]
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[SCREAMING]
118
00:07:07,627 --> 00:07:10,324
Scary sprites. What--?
119
00:07:10,497 --> 00:07:15,162
Oh, great, my snakes are all wet
and I won't be able to do a thing with them.
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00:07:18,338 --> 00:07:20,466
[PINKY & BRAIN SCREAMING]
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Mount Olympus, here we come.
122
00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:44,397
I never should have bought Hercules
that chariot for graduation.
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00:07:44,564 --> 00:07:46,692
The boy simply has no work ethic.
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Upon that table, Pinkus,
Zeus' mighty lightning bolt.
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Gee, Brain, I hope he's got it charged up.
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All power is ours, Pinkus.
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Now to take over the world.
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[GRUNTING]
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Come celebrate the moments.
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00:08:16,730 --> 00:08:20,325
Well, I'll be a Minotaur's uncle.
Do you believe this?
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Hercules is taking a coffee break.
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Where's my lightning bolt?
133
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[GRUNTING]
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I'll teach that lazy bum
to shirk his duties.
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00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:35,538
[PINKY & BRAIN SCREAMING]
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00:08:37,517 --> 00:08:40,976
I sense the pivotal moment of failure
quickly approaches.
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But alas, Pinkus, our overthrow of the world
will just have to wait.
138
00:08:57,437 --> 00:08:59,633
Till someone invents Bactine?
139
00:08:59,806 --> 00:09:01,069
[PINKY GROANS]
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00:09:06,212 --> 00:09:08,203
Huh? What happened?
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ZEUS: You've cleaned the Aegean stables,
Hercules. Well done.
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And as your reward, you are to marry
the greatest goddess in all of Greece.
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00:09:17,390 --> 00:09:20,155
Who? The goddess of love?
The goddess of beauty?
144
00:09:20,326 --> 00:09:23,261
ZEUS:
No, the goddess of cuteness.
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00:09:23,430 --> 00:09:25,194
Aphrodotty.
146
00:09:25,365 --> 00:09:26,855
You again?
147
00:09:27,033 --> 00:09:29,934
I decided I can live with your garlic breath
after all.
148
00:09:30,103 --> 00:09:31,662
You may kiss the bride.
149
00:09:32,038 --> 00:09:33,335
Mm!
150
00:09:33,773 --> 00:09:35,935
Good night, everybody.
151
00:09:43,817 --> 00:09:44,875
It's that time again.
152
00:09:45,051 --> 00:09:46,348
To explore Rush Limbaugh?
153
00:09:46,519 --> 00:09:48,180
To share a pie with Newt Gingrich?
154
00:09:48,354 --> 00:09:50,789
No. It's time to learn today's lesson.
155
00:09:50,957 --> 00:09:54,985
And to find out what it is,
we turn to the wheel of mortality.
156
00:09:56,362 --> 00:09:58,296
Wheel of mortality, turn, turn, turn
157
00:09:58,465 --> 00:10:00,490
Tell us the lesson that we should learn
158
00:10:00,667 --> 00:10:01,691
Moral number two.
159
00:10:01,868 --> 00:10:04,462
And the moral of today's story is:
160
00:10:05,138 --> 00:10:08,199
To be or not to be, that is the pencil.
161
00:10:08,374 --> 00:10:09,432
Very sharp.
162
00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:12,237
-And yet, also pointless.
-Exactly.
163
00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:13,810
[WHISTLE BLOWS]
164
00:10:13,980 --> 00:10:15,448
ALL:
Yikes!
165
00:10:46,546 --> 00:10:49,015
Wanna hear me burp the theme
to Friends?
166
00:10:49,182 --> 00:10:52,152
Uh... How about not?
167
00:10:55,622 --> 00:10:57,613
[English - US - SDH]
12007
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