Original subtitles

[SIGHS]

ALL: ♪ She's a cranky old critter She's bitter, we warn you ♪

♪ She lives in a tree house In Burbank, California ♪

♪ Along with her nephew He says, "Spew" ♪

♪ He's cheerful Then his aunt starts to rant ♪

♪ She gives him an earful ♪

♪ She's grumpy He's happy ♪

♪ It's generation gappy ♪

♪ Take a whirl With the squirrels ♪

♪ Skippy and Slappy ♪

Ah, put a sock in it.

♪ That's my Aunt Slappy ♪ ALL: ♪ Aunt Slappy ♪

[♪♪♪]

[CHUCKLES]

SKIPPY: Come on, Aunt Slappy. Get him.

Blow him up. Quick.

Happy birthday, pal.

Gee, thanks.

Yay! You got him!

You made him blow up good.

What can I say? I'm glad to be a role model.

Those old cartoons were great, Aunt Slappy.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

MAN: Telegram for Slappy Squirrel.

I love how easy it was for you to get out of his traps.

I love how easy it was for me to get out of this chair.

Oy.

SKIPPY: And I love the way you dupe him and confuse him

and bamboozle him and-- And--

And I love the way you used to clobber him

and splat him and blow him up until--

"Walter J. Wolf has passed away."

Yeah. Until he was a goner!

"His funeral will be Tuesday at noon."

[GULPS]

You mean, he's really dead?

And you!

You did all those terrible things to him.

Hey. Whatever happened to, "Go get him, Aunt Slappy"?

That's before I knew you were a murderer.

Suddenly, my biggest fan

has turned into Perry Mason over here.

Perry Mason? Join the '90s.

What do you want, a modern reference? I'm old.

Kids.

[♪♪♪]

Oof!

Hey. You wanna kill me?

You'd better get it right

or there's gonna be a real funeral.

Duh, I don't get it, boss.

How come if you're dead you ain't all peaceful-like?

I'm not dead, you trout brain.

Duh, if you're not dead,

then how can you be talking to me?

Now, listen, you ninny.

I'm only pretending to be dead

so that I can clobber that Slappy Squirrel.

Just like in Pardon My Stiff,

1942, directed by Spats Melnik.

Yeah, only this time the whole ceremony's

gonna be rigged with booby traps.

[BOTH LAUGHING]

[BOTH COUGHING]

Oh, boy. Duh, I wanna be dead.

Not a bad idea. It might raise your IQ.

This is Mary Hartless at Woodland Hedge Memorial Park

to bring you the exciting news

of another fabulous celebrity funeral

for beloved curmudgeon, Walter Wolf.

Now, he was a trouper.

Nobody could rig a booby trap as good as him.

And he would have been an even bigger star

if it wasn't for that Slappy Squirrel.

ALL: Slappy Squirrel?

[ALL SPIT]

[ALL COUGHING]

[CAR HORN HONKS]

Look. There she is now.

[ALL MUTTERING]

Gee, there sure is a big turnout for Walter Wolf's funeral.

Like I always say, give people what they want.

Aunt Slappy,

you promised not to say anything mean about him.

Yeah, I promised, but it won't be easy.

I'm delivering the eulogy.

Get a good seat and go easy on the popcorn.

Your Aunt Slappy is about to win a Daytime Emmy.

[ORGAN PLAYING SOFTLY]

[GRUNTING]

Duh, should I let in the mourners, Walter?

Sure. You remember what to do?

Duh, I light this firecracker

and give it to Slappy, and then say--

Oh, yeah.

"Please hold this candle for the departed."

Good. Now, places, everybody.

[LAUGHING]

This is gonna be some funeral.

Yeah, hers.

[BOTH LAUGHING]

[BOTH COUGHING]

If this wasn't so sad, it'd be pathetic.

Oh, well. On with the backfiring booby-trap bit.

Oh, Walter.

[CRYING]

Walter! Walter! Walter!

[CRYING]

Walter! Walter! Walter!

Walter!

[BONES CRUNCHING]

That stuff will look great in the promos.

We'd like you to stand right there

to deliver the eulogy.

Hm.

I don't think so.

Nah. The light's better over here.

But you have to stand here.

Tell you what.

I'll stand here and you stand there.

No. You stand there.

I stand here?

You stand there.

Where? Here!

Uh-oh.

Wasn't he great? Let's give him a big hand.

Well, maybe that opening act wasn't such a good idea.

On with the eulogy. [GULPS]

[CLEARS THROAT]

We're all here to honor the late Walter Wolf.

I believe it was Don Rickles who said it best...

No.

...so I won't bother.

Walter is gone,

but he wouldn't want us to cry, no.

He'd want us to laugh.

He'd want us to laugh all the laughs

he never got during his career.

Heh-heh-heh. [DRUMROLL]

There's one.

Talk about stone faces.

I'd get more laughs on Easter Island.

I could go on and on about Walter,

except I've got a mahjong game at 3.

But I guess what I'll remember best about him

are his booby traps.

Like this one. What a piece of work.

I'm sure he'd like to be buried with it.

[GASPS]

[ALARM RINGING]

When I heard of his demise, it was such a relief, really.

Finally, that's over.

But all seriousness aside,

who could forget a man who created items like this?

I'm sure he'd like to be buried with it.

Of course, Walter had a comic style.

This one will get her, that Slappy Squirrel.

He did everything in threes.

Three mallets, three anvils,

three bombs.

A nice one, eh?

ALL: I'm sure he'd like to be buried with it.

Like a bunch of trained monkeys.

[ALARM RINGING]

Now, that's what I call en-bombing.

[DRUMROLL]

[LAUGHING]

Agh! Stop. Please.

No more. Agh!

Hey! He isn't dead, after all.

Not yet, that old faker.

Wait. Stop! I can explain.

[CROWD SHOUTING ANGRILY]

But, Aunt Slappy, how'd you know he wasn't dead?

Skippy, how many times do I have to tell you?

There's no dying in the world of cartoons.

Well, Bonkers.

Duh, oh, yeah,

please hold this candle for the departed.

Sure.

Happy birthday, pal.

Gee, thanks.

Now that's comedy.