Original subtitles

ANNOUNCER: Previously on Animaniacs:

Yakko, you can't go this alone.

It's insane, I tell ya. Insane.

Usually, that's to my advantage.

What do you got, Wakko?

I don't know, but it's big,

and it's headed straight for us.

Oh, my...

[EXPLOSION]

I-- I just-- I don't think I love you anymore.

I don't know if I ever loved you.

[HIGH-PITCHED VOICE] Oh, Otto, I'm so disappointed.

It's got into the blood.

Don't worry, kid.

I'm gonna hit a ball

right out of the park just for you.

Gee, that'd be great, Babe.

Oh, my...

[EXPLOSION]

OTTO: I think we are losing altitude.

Scratchy, look out!

[BOTH SCREAM]

I hereby sentence you to life in prison.

[GASPS]

Oh, my...

[EXPLOSION]

[♪♪♪]

[GULPS]

You're out of order, do you hear? Out of order!

No. You're out of order.

You're all out of order!

Don't you see? Don't you get it?

[ALL SCREAMING]

I can't believe it.

DOT: Our water tower.

Don't worry, sibs. We'll be back. We'll rebuild.

And we'll make a brand-new water tower that's-- That's--

Exactly like the old one?

Right.

[♪♪♪]

ALL: ♪ It's time for Animaniacs ♪

♪ And we're zany to the max ♪

♪ So just sit back and relax ♪

♪ You'll laugh Till you collapse ♪

♪ We're Animaniacs ♪

BOTH: ♪ Come join The Warner brothers ♪

♪ And the Warner sister, Dot ♪

ALL: ♪ Just for fun we run around The Warner movie lot ♪

♪ They lock us in the tower Whenever we get caught ♪

♪ But we break loose And then vamoose ♪

♪ And now you know the plot ♪

♪ We're Animaniacs ♪

♪ Dot is cute and Yakko yaks ♪

♪ Wakko packs away the snacks ♪

♪ We pay tons of income tax ♪

♪ We're Animaniacs ♪

♪ Meet Ralph And Dr.Scratchansniff ♪

♪ Say hi to Hello, Nurse ♪

♪ Goodfeathers flock together ♪

♪ Slappy whacks 'em With her purse ♪

♪ Buttons chases Mindy ♪

♪ While Rita sings a verse ♪

♪ The writers flipped We have no script ♪

♪ Why bother to rehearse? ♪

♪ We're Animaniacs ♪

♪ We have pay-or-play Contracts ♪

♪ We're zany to the max ♪

♪ There's bologna In our slacks ♪

♪ We're Animan-y ♪

♪ Totally insane-y ♪

♪ No pain, no gain-y ♪

♪ Animaniacs ♪

♪ Those are the facts ♪

[♪♪♪]

[VIOLIN PLAYING SERENE CLASSICAL MUSIC]

[PLAYING HOEDOWN MUSIC]

Yee-haw!

[STAMMERS] Yes, sir.

Well, "yee-haw" and all that, Holmes,

but shouldn't we be getting back to the case now?

Mariachi is sure to strike again soon.

Yes. My old nemesis, Professor Mariachi.

This latest spate of petty robberies has me mystified.

Bowling pins, automobile batteries,

railroad ties,

the odd pair of ladies' knickers.

W-w-what do you think he's up to?

I'm not certain.

I require some time to formulate a theory.

Watson, no interruptions.

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

You got any used dental floss?

What? No!

What was I saying?

No interruptions.

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

How about a yam shaped like Elvis's dad, Vernon?

HOLMES: Absolutely not.

Huh?

Prince Albert in a can?

Princess Di in a leotard?

Prince Charles in a tabloid?

W-w-who are you? What are you doing here?

Allow me to deduce, Watson.

The size, the coloring, the age...

Hm.

Are you not the Warner brothers and their sister Dot?

I'm gonna flip all the cards. You are correct.

Big whoop. He heard the theme song.

[BELCHES]

I also deduce the little one just had a pepperoni pizza.

[WAKKO HICCUPS] [SNIFFS]

With onions.

Furthermore, you're on some kind of little quest.

Correct again. But not just some little quest.

We're on the greatest scavenger hunt of all time.

Guess what the winner gets.

I don't guess, I deduce.

Well, I de Big Bad Wolf. But enough of that.

If we win, we get to do a walk-on on Baywatch.

[♪♪♪]

ALL: Hello, nurses on the beach.

Look, I'm very busy.

I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you out.

Why, Sherlock, you big old bony-nosed man.

I'd love to go out.

Or are you just trying to take advantage

of an old-fashioned American girl?

You intercontinental cavalier, you.

It's okay with us, as long as the chubby guy chaperones.

I'm afraid I'm not making myself clear.

Wait. Allow me to deduce.

You're Sherlock Holmes, the great de-tec-a-tive.

You're highly annoyed at our very presence,

and you're about to give us lots of money to leave.

No, I'm tossing you out on your keisters.

What's a keister?

Oh, that's a keister.

Perhaps, to catch Mariachi,

I'll need to don one of my many disguises.

ALL: Disguise!

Keister! I've learned a new word.

That's right, Wakko.

And thanks to you, so has half of America.

Now, then, Watson, back to the case.

Oh, yes, right-o.

Mr. Holmes, Dr. Watson, luncheon is ready.

O-oh, super. I could eat a horse.

Sorry, the horse couldn't make it. How 'bout three hams?

Since you're on a lunch break,

can't you help us with our scavenger hunt? Hm?

Look, I've told you already. I haven't the time.

We don't need the time, just this stuff.

A happy postal worker.

Edible fruitcake.

A funny episode of Bonkers.

Seven swans a-swimming.

Six geese a-laying.

ALL: ♪ Five golden rings ♪

♪ Four calling birds Three French hens ♪

♪ Two turtle doves ♪

♪ And a partridge In a pear tree ♪

Watson! WAKKO: Ah-ah-ah.

Someone's under the mistletoe.

[♪♪♪]

You're incorrigible.

No, he's in London.

[DRUMROLL]

Heh-heh-heh. I got a million more just like it.

Unfortunately.

Stop it. Stop it. That will do.

Look, I promise I'll help you with your scavenger hunt.

ALL: Hooray!

After I finish my work.

ALL: Aw...

Now, just sit down and find something to occupy yourselves.

ALL: Okay.

[DRYER WHIRRING] [BALLS BOUNCING]

Quiet!

[RHYTHMIC TWANGING]

HOLMES: Watson.

O-oh, sorry, Holmes.

Old habits and all that, you know.

[♪♪♪]

All right. All right, you win.

I'll help you. I'll help you with your scavenger hunt.

What else do you need?

Let's see, um,

so far we've got the Maltese Falcon,

a lock of Yul Brynner's hair, Burt Ward's career--

Can't find it.

Bowling pins, batteries,

the Lusitania, Marlon Brando...

[GRUNTING]

He's in there, really.

Railroad ties and the odd pair of ladies' knickers.

Hello.

Some of those items,

those are the very things that Mariachi has been stealing.

Do you know what this means?

Uh, he's a thief?

Good answer, yeah. Good. Good answer, yeah.

No, it means

that he's on the very same scavenger hunt you are.

What's the last item on the list?

We'll catch him in the act.

A fat chubby sidekick with a curly moustache.

Ah! I have one of those. Watson. Watson?

[GRUNTING] Help!

Holmes! Holmes, it's Mariachi!

So, Holmes, we meet again.

I do hope you'll forgive me for borrowing Watson.

I shall return him right after we wing off to Hollywood

for a very special episode of Baywatch.

Check your local listings.

This always happens.

Every time we get our hands on a fat chubby sidekick,

whammo, he's kidnapped by a Scottish guy,

with a huge sombrero, in a flying contraption.

But he's not getting away with it.

That's our Baywatch episode.

Come on, sibs.

[♪♪♪]

[GIGGLING] Oh, I won.

Yes, I won, I won. Ha-ha-ha-ha!

Correction, Mariachi, [GASPS]

you've lost.

But how did you get me in here when was I out there?

Elementary, my dear Watson.

Some things are simply worth the Hasselhoff.

[♪♪♪]