Original subtitles

[car honks]

[frogs croaking]

[yawns]

[all] Where you going, Anne?

Uh, the mailbox.

Sounds exciting.

- Can we come? Please? - [grunting]

Uh, yeah. I guess.

- [both] Yay! - Whoo-hoo!

[squeaks]

You know, I used to only get the mail to intercept my report card.

But these days-- Huh?

Hey, smallish humans.

[screams] Hey! Watch it!

You overgrown stinkbugs!

What did you call us?

Sorry, sorry. She’s just a baby.

- [chuckles] - Weirdest baby I’ve ever seen.

[growls]

Ooh! That looks fun.

- [Anne] Sprig, no! - [grunts]

[pants]

- [Hop Pop] A free vacation? - [gasps]

Just for listening to your talk? Well, sign me up.

[grunts]

[sighs]

[gulping]

Ah!

Something wrong, kiddo?

Where do I start?

Polly nearly got in a fight.

Hop Pop was seconds away from getting scammed.

And Sprig almost got turned into wood chips.

Wait. Sprig is made out of wood?

[groans]

I’m exhausted just trying to keep them all alive.

[laughs] Sounds like being a parent.

The trick is to ease them into the world.

Slow and steady like how I’m easing this egg into--

Dang it!

Just be patient. This is a lot of new for them.

Yeah, you’re right. Slow and steady.

[vocalizes, gasps]

Bleh!

Think you’re tough? Bring it on, humans.

Free money? And all I have to do is give you my bank account numbers?

[inhales, roars]

- [grunting] - Nope.

Slow and steady ain’t gonna cut it.

You three will be dead in two days.

- Is that a threat? - You okay, Anne?

Here. Take this free stress test I got from that guy.

No. The responsible thing to do is to train you all at once

at the most chaotic and dangerous place I know.

The mall... where I learned life’s most important skills.

And where you’re gonna learn the lessons you need to survive in my world.

[scoffs] Survive? Your world is soft, Anne.

Yeah. I mean, the animals don’t even try to disembowel you.

Yeah, we don’t need no stinking--

[all scream]

Ow!

[clears throat] Proceed.

I’ve come up with a specific task for each of you.

First up, Polly. You need to control your temper.

It’s drawing too much attention, and we’re trying to keep a low profile.

I say what I want when I want!

Maybe in Wartwood, but not here.

Your mission is to go into that store

and build a custom plushy without fighting anyone.

Huh. Child’s play.

Sprig, you can’t touch everything or you’re gonna lose a limb.

But there’s so many new surfaces and textures.

Your mission is to walk through that gallery of art installations

without touching any of them.

Eh, looks simple enough.

Finally, Hop Pop. You need to stop taking free stuff.

In my world, everything has a price.

Then why did they call it "free," Anne?

Hmm? Because they think I’m gullible and easily scammed?

- Yep. - Oh, well, that’s actually pretty clever.

Your mission is to make it through Kiosk Alley,

without falling for any free scams.

[laughs]

I’ll be watching all of you from up here.

You got 20 minutes to complete your missions.

And if one of us screws up?

Then you can’t be trusted to leave the house... ever.

- No way! Scatter! - Since when do you set the stakes?

[all scream, grunt]

Oh, boy.

Piece of cake! [blows raspberry]

Hmm. This will do.

Yoink, yoink.

Hmm. No, thanks.

Don’t know why Anne thought this would be difficult.

- Huh? - [babbles]

[Anne] Build a custom plushy without fighting anyone.

Oh, hello there.

I think there’s been a misunderstanding.

- But that’s-- - [spits]

What the-- Hey, lady!

Your chubby spawn is ruining my work.

Did you just call my kid a spawn?

[thinking] Focus, Polly. Don’t make a scene.

[sighs] Know what? It’s fine.

- I’ll just get more-- Hey! - [babbles]

- Hey! - [giggling]

Must contain fury!

Whoa!

Such textures to explore.

[gasps] Whoa!

[grunts, giggles]

[Anne] Then you can’t be trusted to leave the house ever.

Whoa. It’s fine. Totally fine.

I can just look and appreciate from afar.

[humming]

[groans]

[pants, groans]

[grunts] Come on, Sprig. Fight it.

[groans]

Must be some kind of performance piece.

Sir, how would you like a free gift card?

- [groans] - You there, do you wanna regrow that hair?

I know you do.

Hey there, handsome.

Wanna start your modeling career with some headshots?

Just need your ID.

It’s 100%, no strings attached, free.

[groaning]

[gasps, grunts]

[stomach rumbling] Oof.

It’s the last time I get sushi out of the vending machine. Hmm?

[gasps] Mark here.

Got a suspicious looking COD, Creepy Old Dude, on radar.

I’m in pursuit.

[hums] So far, so good.

The Anne Boonchuy trial by fire is really paying off.

OMG. Anne! Is it really you?

Where have you been?

Is it true you went missing or ran away or died or something?

Don’t be ridiculous, Gabby. I was just on my family’s farm.

In Alaska. For five months.

Well, now that you’re back I got to catch you up on all the hot goss.

- Listen, I’m sorta-- - So, Bridget got mad at Carlos

’cause she thought Carlos went to the movies with Johanna.

But it was actually Yoko.

Yoko and Bridget stopped being BFFs until they both got mad at Tommy,

because Tommy said, "We’ve only been dating since second grade.

We’re not soul mates."

[groaning]

I can’t do this.

These things are just so cool.

Yeah. And then I said, "Dude, you’re gonna get caught."

Right? So obvious.

Chance.

Touch.

Feeling.

[chuckles]

Uh-oh.

Whoa!

[screams, grunts]

- [babies babbling] - Almost done. Ha!

[grunts, laughs]

Whoa!

[babbles]

No! Please!

I’m so tired! This madness needs to stop!

[babbles]

That’s it!

[screams]

- [Polly grunts] - [cries]

- [grunts] - [babbling]

Can someone get the manager?

[chuckles] Take that, Anne.

Told you your world was easy-pea-- [gasps]

It can’t be. Thousands of coppers just there for the taking.

For free!

They didn’t know it,

but they ended up going to the same restaurant.

Chance.

[gasps]

We got a disrober stealing wishes in progress. Over.

So what started out as a love triangle

is now some kind of disgusting love rhombus.

- [Sprig screams] - [gasps]

[all screaming]

[grunting]

I may have touched something!

Oh, shoot! Good to see you, Gabs. Got to go.

Later, Anne. Glad you made it back from Alaska.

[Sprig, Polly screaming]

Gangway! Angry moms coming through!

[all crying]

Oh. At least it can’t get any worse.

[Hop Pop] Help me, Anne! Help me!

[screams]

Hop Pop, why are you green?

The cursed fountain did this to me.

You were right, Anne! Everything has its price.

Okay, first things first. Gotta clean up this mess.

You’re doing great, sweetie.

- [grunts] - [child screams]

[shutter clicks]

- [gasps] - [grunts]

Honestly, I can’t tell the difference.

Oh, hey. Bada-bing.

- Ooh. - [babies crying]

Can I help you, ladies?

Why, yes. We’re looking for a ruffian

who was making trouble for our little angels.

I’ve got just the guy.

Excuse me, sir.

I have a number of ladies here who would like to complain.

- You listen here... - [all chattering]

Headquarters, I’ve got a pack of MIDs. That is Moms In Distress.

Send backup! Send backup!

[woman] ...the manager.

[all panting]

[all panting]

Well, guess we failed our trials.

Oh, you think?

No, no. I’m the one who failed.

I shouldn’t have put you guys through all this in the first place.

It was too much, too soon.

Don’t feel too bad.

Turns out we could stand to learn a few things about your world.

I just really thought throwing you into the deep end would work.

I mean, it worked for me in Amphibia.

[all] Uh...

- [scoffing, laughing] - Whoa!

You barely survived.

Yeah. Remember when she was looking at her phone

and walked right into that pool of quicksand?

[screams]

Or when she was napping outside

and a swarm of skullsuckers tried to carry her away?

[all laughing]

Hey, I don’t remember that last part.

Anne, we were always looking out for you.

Even if you didn’t always notice.

Thanks, guys. I had no idea.

And I’ll try to do better about easing you into this place.

I think we need to get Hop Pop to a shower.

Oh, yes, please. My skin is burning.