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1
00:00:03,503 --> 00:00:04,546
[ Gasps ]
2
00:00:10,385 --> 00:00:11,887
I just saw a ghost, y'all!
3
00:00:13,305 --> 00:00:14,680
Why are we doing this?
It was a ghost.
4
00:00:14,681 --> 00:00:16,599
I came around the corner,
he was sitting right there.
5
00:00:16,600 --> 00:00:18,184
I'm thinking he's like
a Victorian era...
6
00:00:18,185 --> 00:00:20,478
Oh, my God, they're multiplying!
7
00:00:20,479 --> 00:00:23,898
Uh, hi. We're looking for
Principal Coleman.
8
00:00:23,899 --> 00:00:25,691
It's our son Charlie's
first day.
9
00:00:25,692 --> 00:00:27,860
We enrolled
via the district website.
10
00:00:27,861 --> 00:00:29,820
[ Chuckles ] Please tell
me you guys see them, too.
11
00:00:29,821 --> 00:00:31,280
Melissa: Ava. You know what?
12
00:00:31,281 --> 00:00:32,157
Let me go get my proton pack.
13
00:00:32,158 --> 00:00:33,449
Hey, hey, stop. Stop.
14
00:00:33,450 --> 00:00:36,410
So, they're building a
big-time PGA golf course
15
00:00:36,411 --> 00:00:39,247
about 10 blocks away from
here in the Girard Creek area.
16
00:00:39,248 --> 00:00:41,457
It's allegedly
good for the city,
17
00:00:41,458 --> 00:00:42,667
and people are into it.
18
00:00:42,668 --> 00:00:45,878
And, um, new people
are moving to Philly...
19
00:00:45,879 --> 00:00:48,798
West Philly...
just to play there.
20
00:00:48,799 --> 00:00:50,091
So...
21
00:00:50,092 --> 00:00:52,551
And while Tiger Woods
is a notable golfer,
22
00:00:52,552 --> 00:00:54,971
the demographic of most golfers
23
00:00:54,972 --> 00:00:57,848
is mainly, um...
24
00:00:57,849 --> 00:00:58,975
We're so excited to be here.
25
00:00:58,976 --> 00:01:00,393
Yeah, we were
recommended we go private
26
00:01:00,394 --> 00:01:02,186
from, gosh, nearly every person
27
00:01:02,187 --> 00:01:04,313
and website we
know, but we were like,
28
00:01:04,314 --> 00:01:06,440
"Hey, public all the
way!" [ Laughter ]
29
00:01:06,441 --> 00:01:07,650
So...
30
00:01:07,651 --> 00:01:09,110
Well, it's great to have you.
31
00:01:09,111 --> 00:01:10,611
This is new. Yeah.
32
00:01:10,612 --> 00:01:12,029
First time in all my years.
33
00:01:12,030 --> 00:01:13,447
Well, thrilled to meet you.
34
00:01:13,448 --> 00:01:14,740
And, uh, just because
it's nice to have
35
00:01:14,741 --> 00:01:15,950
a new student, and
no other reasons.
36
00:01:15,951 --> 00:01:17,827
Okay, and I'm Ms. Teagues.
37
00:01:17,828 --> 00:01:19,203
I believe I'm your
teacher, Charlie.
38
00:01:19,204 --> 00:01:21,289
Welcome. And it's so
nice to meet you both.
39
00:01:21,290 --> 00:01:23,332
And I'm Principal Coleman,
40
00:01:23,333 --> 00:01:24,959
the one you were looking for.
41
00:01:24,960 --> 00:01:26,377
Totally remember you enrolling
42
00:01:26,378 --> 00:01:28,379
the little and
very real Charlie.
43
00:01:28,380 --> 00:01:31,299
And we are incredibly
pleased to have you
44
00:01:31,300 --> 00:01:32,842
and welcome you to the rich,
45
00:01:32,843 --> 00:01:35,469
diverse tapestry of
Abbott Elementary.
46
00:01:35,470 --> 00:01:36,470
You'll fit right in.
47
00:01:37,306 --> 00:01:38,931
Are we being audited?
48
00:01:38,932 --> 00:01:41,934
[ Maker's "Hold'em" playing ]
49
00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:46,605
♪♪
50
00:01:46,606 --> 00:01:51,444
♪♪
51
00:01:51,445 --> 00:01:52,570
Janine: Come on in.
52
00:01:52,571 --> 00:01:53,654
Hello, Ms. Teagues.
53
00:01:53,655 --> 00:01:55,448
Oh. Hello, Mr. Eddie.
54
00:01:55,449 --> 00:01:56,866
Hope your day's going well.
55
00:01:56,867 --> 00:01:58,659
It is. Thank you for asking. Mm.
56
00:01:58,660 --> 00:02:00,494
And I hope your day
is going well, as well.
57
00:02:00,495 --> 00:02:01,955
It is. Thank you.
58
00:02:05,500 --> 00:02:09,003
So, Gregory and I did try
out a relationship for a little bit,
59
00:02:09,004 --> 00:02:12,048
but in the end, it
just didn't work out.
60
00:02:12,049 --> 00:02:14,468
So, now, we are
back to being friends.
61
00:02:15,552 --> 00:02:16,761
Just kidding! Ha, ha!
62
00:02:16,762 --> 00:02:18,054
We got y'all! Yeah.
63
00:02:18,055 --> 00:02:19,347
So we're, um...
64
00:02:19,348 --> 00:02:20,765
W-We're dating.
We're dating, yeah.
65
00:02:20,766 --> 00:02:22,600
After the party that
night, we started dating.
66
00:02:22,601 --> 00:02:24,143
Yeah. And it's been
going really, really well.
67
00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:26,395
Right, and I'm happy.
I would tell everyone,
68
00:02:26,396 --> 00:02:28,898
but Janine so intelligently
pointed out that
69
00:02:28,899 --> 00:02:31,108
we should keep our work
and personal lives separate.
70
00:02:31,109 --> 00:02:32,568
And I have to agree with that.
71
00:02:32,569 --> 00:02:34,278
Yeah, yeah. And on top of that,
72
00:02:34,279 --> 00:02:35,863
we just get to have fun
73
00:02:35,864 --> 00:02:37,823
and let our relationship be
74
00:02:37,824 --> 00:02:39,033
just us, you know? Mm-hmm.
75
00:02:39,034 --> 00:02:41,619
So, aside from
Jacob, nobody knows.
76
00:02:41,620 --> 00:02:42,620
Nobody.
77
00:02:42,621 --> 00:02:43,746
Together: We all know.
78
00:02:43,747 --> 00:02:45,289
It's just beyond obvious.
79
00:02:45,290 --> 00:02:46,540
I don't even know
how their dumb asses
80
00:02:46,541 --> 00:02:47,501
think they hidin' it.
81
00:02:47,502 --> 00:02:48,584
They stay in each other's faces.
82
00:02:48,585 --> 00:02:50,086
Dumbasses.
83
00:02:50,087 --> 00:02:51,671
Barbara: But we're gonna
let them have their space
84
00:02:51,672 --> 00:02:54,006
because, clearly, they need it.
85
00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:55,341
Honestly, I don't
care that much.
86
00:02:55,342 --> 00:02:56,717
I got bills, you know?
87
00:02:56,718 --> 00:02:58,260
I know that's
right. If anything,
88
00:02:58,261 --> 00:03:00,179
it's an insult to
our intelligence.
89
00:03:00,180 --> 00:03:02,014
We know what two people
look like when they hunchin' hard.
90
00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:03,015
We're not dumb.
91
00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:04,100
Mnh-mnh. Mnh-mnh.
92
00:03:04,101 --> 00:03:05,226
Alright class, we're going to
93
00:03:05,227 --> 00:03:07,061
unfold our paper,
94
00:03:07,062 --> 00:03:08,938
and we have a beautiful...
95
00:03:08,939 --> 00:03:10,398
Children: Butterfly!
96
00:03:10,399 --> 00:03:12,358
Yes! Specifically,
97
00:03:12,359 --> 00:03:15,111
an orange sulfur butterfly,
98
00:03:15,112 --> 00:03:18,948
which is native to Pennsylvania!
99
00:03:18,949 --> 00:03:21,283
Can't find that in
Jersey, now, can you?
100
00:03:21,284 --> 00:03:23,369
Children: No!
101
00:03:23,370 --> 00:03:24,537
[ Water trickling ]
102
00:03:24,538 --> 00:03:26,372
What in the world?
103
00:03:26,373 --> 00:03:29,041
Hey, Barb, is your
water pressure low?
104
00:03:29,042 --> 00:03:30,668
Some kid just sneezed
God knows what in my hand,
105
00:03:30,669 --> 00:03:32,461
and I got no water going on.
106
00:03:32,462 --> 00:03:33,422
Me too.
107
00:03:33,423 --> 00:03:34,588
Ugh!
108
00:03:34,589 --> 00:03:35,757
Ava? Oh!
109
00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:38,759
Ava? A-va!
110
00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:40,553
What is going on?
111
00:03:40,554 --> 00:03:43,264
The water pressure is
lower than Gerald's iron.
112
00:03:43,265 --> 00:03:44,682
Now, who the hell is Gerald?
113
00:03:44,683 --> 00:03:47,143
Look, it's the new golf course.
They broke a water pipe.
114
00:03:47,144 --> 00:03:48,477
There's nothing
we can do about it.
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00:03:48,478 --> 00:03:50,688
I'm just about fed up with
this golf course construction.
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00:03:50,689 --> 00:03:52,273
Mm-hmm. Just
blocking up traffic,
117
00:03:52,274 --> 00:03:53,691
making it difficult
to get in here
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00:03:53,692 --> 00:03:54,817
in the mornings,
119
00:03:54,818 --> 00:03:56,569
and the noise all day long!
120
00:03:56,570 --> 00:03:59,071
And I've noticed an uptick
in the rodents and bugs.
121
00:03:59,072 --> 00:04:00,197
That's construction, too. Mm!
122
00:04:00,198 --> 00:04:01,782
I killed 30 roaches
this morning.
123
00:04:01,783 --> 00:04:02,659
Oh. [ Sprays ]
124
00:04:02,660 --> 00:04:05,369
Hey! 31. This has to stop.
125
00:04:05,370 --> 00:04:07,746
Ava: Look, I gotta listen to
y'all complain all damn day.
126
00:04:07,747 --> 00:04:10,332
"We want books. We want
paper towels in the classroom."
127
00:04:10,333 --> 00:04:11,917
Bet you want raises, too.
128
00:04:11,918 --> 00:04:13,669
Yeah, I like money. I'm still
waiting on the paper towels.
129
00:04:13,670 --> 00:04:14,588
This project is
backed by the city,
130
00:04:14,589 --> 00:04:15,880
so there's nothing I can do.
131
00:04:15,881 --> 00:04:17,298
And don't forget...
132
00:04:17,299 --> 00:04:18,883
back-to-school staff
meeting tomorrow.
133
00:04:18,884 --> 00:04:21,469
Have your presentations ready
with your proposed yearly goals.
134
00:04:21,470 --> 00:04:22,761
Melissa: Yeah,
yeah, yeah. [ Stomps ]
135
00:04:22,762 --> 00:04:24,138
Hey! 32.
136
00:04:24,139 --> 00:04:26,015
Must you kill these
living creatures
137
00:04:26,016 --> 00:04:27,475
so forcefully?
138
00:04:27,476 --> 00:04:29,310
I didn't get that one.
It's headed to you.
139
00:04:29,311 --> 00:04:30,394
[ Both scream ]
140
00:04:30,395 --> 00:04:31,812
Die! Die! [ Melissa screams ]
141
00:04:31,813 --> 00:04:33,355
Aah! [ Spraying ]
142
00:04:33,356 --> 00:04:35,024
Gregory: Going to
do my presentation on
143
00:04:35,025 --> 00:04:36,984
the benefits of plants
in each classroom.
144
00:04:36,985 --> 00:04:37,778
Try to get people
on board for that.
145
00:04:37,779 --> 00:04:39,695
That is so amazing.
146
00:04:39,696 --> 00:04:41,530
I mean, it's... it's
very thoughtful.
147
00:04:41,531 --> 00:04:43,783
I mean, it's no
school-wide field trip
148
00:04:43,784 --> 00:04:45,743
to the Baltimore Aquarium,
like your presentation. [ Sighs ]
149
00:04:45,744 --> 00:04:47,369
Principal Coleman,
you have a second?
150
00:04:47,370 --> 00:04:49,163
We're fact-checking
for our podcast club.
151
00:04:49,164 --> 00:04:51,248
Yeah, we reported
that Mr. Hill can't read,
152
00:04:51,249 --> 00:04:52,500
which turned out
to be... Not true!
153
00:04:52,501 --> 00:04:54,752
Why are you always asking
us to read out loud, then?
154
00:04:54,753 --> 00:04:56,462
What are you fact-checking now?
155
00:04:56,463 --> 00:04:57,713
[ Cellphone chirps ] Are Ms.
Teagues and Mr. Eddie dating?
156
00:04:57,714 --> 00:05:01,759
Uh, why not report on
something a little more exciting?
157
00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:03,886
Like... Like the weather, okay?
158
00:05:03,887 --> 00:05:05,638
It does often change.
159
00:05:05,639 --> 00:05:08,641
In fact, there's more
to this Mr. C story.
160
00:05:08,642 --> 00:05:10,809
Like how he's always
listening to audiobooks.
161
00:05:10,810 --> 00:05:12,561
[ Footsteps receding ]
162
00:05:12,562 --> 00:05:14,522
I was letting Janine and
Gregory have their fun,
163
00:05:14,523 --> 00:05:16,398
but if the kids even
know about them...
164
00:05:16,399 --> 00:05:18,859
Look, from my summer
at principal school,
165
00:05:18,860 --> 00:05:20,819
I learned that I'll get in
trouble if they get in trouble.
166
00:05:20,820 --> 00:05:22,071
So I got to take action.
167
00:05:22,072 --> 00:05:24,573
Which is my least
favorite thing to take.
168
00:05:24,574 --> 00:05:25,783
Pizza here.
169
00:05:25,784 --> 00:05:28,035
I like the way you
pass that pizza.
170
00:05:28,036 --> 00:05:29,996
I like the way you
hand out milk boxes.
171
00:05:31,957 --> 00:05:33,791
That's for you. There you go.
172
00:05:33,792 --> 00:05:35,085
And you.
173
00:05:36,169 --> 00:05:37,503
Um, you know what?
174
00:05:37,504 --> 00:05:39,213
Maybe we wanna be more careful,
175
00:05:39,214 --> 00:05:41,507
because people
might be watching,
176
00:05:41,508 --> 00:05:43,092
and we don't want people
to get the wrong idea.
177
00:05:43,093 --> 00:05:46,220
Maybe, instead of always
looking over our shoulders...
178
00:05:46,221 --> 00:05:47,388
Our very broad
shoulders. [ Chuckles ]
179
00:05:47,389 --> 00:05:49,390
We should just
tell our co-workers.
180
00:05:49,391 --> 00:05:50,849
Well, yeah, but, you know,
181
00:05:50,850 --> 00:05:54,353
we don't want everyone in our
business of, like, what we are.
182
00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:55,230
And we can't forget HR.
183
00:05:55,231 --> 00:05:56,355
I mean, that's very intense.
184
00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:57,898
Yeah, I was thinking about that.
185
00:05:57,899 --> 00:05:59,608
HR is only an issue if
somebody reports us,
186
00:05:59,609 --> 00:06:03,028
and HR hasn't been to
this school since... ever.
187
00:06:03,029 --> 00:06:05,489
[ Intercom beeps ] Ava:
Attention Abbott staff.
188
00:06:05,490 --> 00:06:07,950
Tomorrow, an HR
representative from the district
189
00:06:07,951 --> 00:06:09,326
will be here for the day.
190
00:06:09,327 --> 00:06:11,328
He'll be available
to all staff members
191
00:06:11,329 --> 00:06:12,997
if they feel the need
to make any complaints
192
00:06:12,998 --> 00:06:14,373
or inquire about benefits
193
00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:15,916
or report anything...
194
00:06:15,917 --> 00:06:17,293
anything at all.
195
00:06:17,294 --> 00:06:20,421
Mm, mm, mm. I
know what that's about.
196
00:06:20,422 --> 00:06:22,006
You do? [ Chuckles ]
197
00:06:22,007 --> 00:06:23,258
Of course I do.
198
00:06:24,801 --> 00:06:27,094
Um... You've seen the
way Melissa hits on me.
199
00:06:27,095 --> 00:06:29,680
She's always, "Mr.
Johnson, my trash is filled."
200
00:06:29,681 --> 00:06:31,932
"Mr. Johnson, can you
please take out my trash?"
201
00:06:31,933 --> 00:06:34,226
"Mr. Johnson, this
is your whole job."
202
00:06:34,227 --> 00:06:35,561
Flirting her little ass off!
203
00:06:35,562 --> 00:06:36,687
Oh. Okay.
204
00:06:36,688 --> 00:06:38,355
She's going down.
205
00:06:38,356 --> 00:06:40,275
Get her! [ Chuckles lightly ]
206
00:06:42,736 --> 00:06:45,863
Jacob! I am not letting
you microwave your beans
207
00:06:45,864 --> 00:06:47,323
with my tea.
208
00:06:47,324 --> 00:06:48,824
Barbara, please. We
are running out of time
209
00:06:48,825 --> 00:06:50,576
before class starts.
210
00:06:50,577 --> 00:06:53,037
It is not my fault road closures
allowed traffic to back up.
211
00:06:53,038 --> 00:06:55,372
Now, please, move your beans.
212
00:06:55,373 --> 00:06:56,333
[ Microwave clatters,
beeps ] Thank you.
213
00:06:56,334 --> 00:06:57,334
I'll tell you what.
214
00:06:57,335 --> 00:06:59,335
If that golf course was a person
215
00:06:59,336 --> 00:07:02,254
and I wasn't a fully
law-abiding citizen,
216
00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:03,714
they'd be sinking
to the bottom of
217
00:07:03,715 --> 00:07:05,215
the Schuylkill River
right about now.
218
00:07:05,216 --> 00:07:05,967
My Bunsen burners
aren't working.
219
00:07:05,968 --> 00:07:07,343
Who shut off the gas?
220
00:07:07,344 --> 00:07:08,927
Are you cooking eggs
in your classroom?
221
00:07:08,928 --> 00:07:10,596
You needn't worry
about matters concerning
222
00:07:10,597 --> 00:07:12,264
the breakfast sciences.
Now, who did it?
223
00:07:12,265 --> 00:07:13,349
The construction
workers turned off the gas
224
00:07:13,350 --> 00:07:14,558
to the entire grid.
225
00:07:14,559 --> 00:07:15,934
Mr. Morton: Aw.
Nothing I can do about it.
226
00:07:15,935 --> 00:07:17,394
Write a letter to the city.
227
00:07:17,395 --> 00:07:19,755
I don't know what's more vile
this golf course or Morton.
228
00:07:20,315 --> 00:07:22,024
Here are the pains in my asses.
229
00:07:22,025 --> 00:07:23,359
I'm sorry. The what?
230
00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:24,735
Everyone, as promised,
231
00:07:24,736 --> 00:07:26,612
HR is here today.
This is Warren.
232
00:07:26,613 --> 00:07:27,905
So if anyone has
anything they want to file,
233
00:07:27,906 --> 00:07:28,906
just raise your hand.
234
00:07:28,907 --> 00:07:29,824
Not about me.
235
00:07:29,825 --> 00:07:31,617
About other things.
236
00:07:31,618 --> 00:07:32,951
Well...
237
00:07:32,952 --> 00:07:34,536
[ Bell rings ] Oh!
238
00:07:34,537 --> 00:07:36,372
And we're out of time.
239
00:07:36,373 --> 00:07:38,248
And... yours.
240
00:07:38,249 --> 00:07:40,292
Excuse me. Excuse me.
241
00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:42,586
Good morning, Daniel.
242
00:07:42,587 --> 00:07:45,798
Hey, how about Italian for
dinner tonight? LaScala's?
243
00:07:45,799 --> 00:07:48,509
We're gonna be nice to our
desk mates today, yeah, Yasmine?
244
00:07:48,510 --> 00:07:50,552
I'm good with that, as long
as they got buttered noodles.
245
00:07:50,553 --> 00:07:52,096
I'd never take you anywhere
without buttered noodles.
246
00:07:52,097 --> 00:07:53,097
[ Quietly ] Come on in.
247
00:07:54,557 --> 00:07:56,767
Yeah, it's nice talking to
you while looking at you.
248
00:07:56,768 --> 00:07:58,185
[ Chuckles ] Which reminds me,
249
00:07:58,186 --> 00:08:00,688
when do you want
to talk with/confess
250
00:08:00,689 --> 00:08:03,023
that we're dating to HR?
251
00:08:03,024 --> 00:08:04,024
I have fifth period free.
252
00:08:04,025 --> 00:08:06,235
Oh, yeah, um...
253
00:08:06,236 --> 00:08:07,986
How about, like, later?
254
00:08:07,987 --> 00:08:10,155
Like, after the back-to-school
presentations? Okay?
255
00:08:10,156 --> 00:08:11,740
Uh, actually...
[ Clears throat ]
256
00:08:11,741 --> 00:08:14,284
Good morning, Ms. Teagues.
Good morning, Mr. Eddie.
257
00:08:14,285 --> 00:08:15,911
You remember
Warren, right, Janine?
258
00:08:15,912 --> 00:08:17,204
HR at the district. Mm-hmm.
259
00:08:17,205 --> 00:08:19,665
Janine, it's so good to see you,
260
00:08:19,666 --> 00:08:22,167
after wasting our time
at the district. [ Chuckles ]
261
00:08:22,168 --> 00:08:23,877
I told Superintendent
Reynolds I knew you didn't have
262
00:08:23,878 --> 00:08:25,504
what it takes to
be a district diva.
263
00:08:25,505 --> 00:08:27,673
It is good to see
you again, Warren.
264
00:08:27,674 --> 00:08:30,926
Anything you want to make
Warren aware of, you can.
265
00:08:30,927 --> 00:08:32,178
Anything at all.
266
00:08:35,014 --> 00:08:37,725
Well, um, we...
Well, we got nothing.
267
00:08:37,726 --> 00:08:40,769
Uh, except it is so
good to see you, really.
268
00:08:40,770 --> 00:08:42,063
[ Warren chuckles ]
269
00:08:43,857 --> 00:08:46,066
Um, yeah, nothing to report.
270
00:08:46,067 --> 00:08:48,027
Well, he'll be here all day,
271
00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:50,155
if your memories
happen to get jogged.
272
00:08:53,158 --> 00:08:55,868
Phew! Um, hey, real quick.
273
00:08:55,869 --> 00:08:56,828
Everything good?
274
00:08:56,829 --> 00:08:58,287
We could have
at least tee'd it up.
275
00:08:58,288 --> 00:09:00,330
Yeah, no, everything is fine.
276
00:09:00,331 --> 00:09:04,001
It's just, um, you know,
like we said, later today.
277
00:09:04,002 --> 00:09:06,253
We don't want to drop
life-changing information
278
00:09:06,254 --> 00:09:08,297
before class even starts, right?
279
00:09:08,298 --> 00:09:10,257
[ Chuckles awkwardly ] So...
280
00:09:10,258 --> 00:09:12,259
Have a good morning, Mr. Eddie.
281
00:09:12,260 --> 00:09:14,219
Hey, good morning.
How you doing?
282
00:09:14,220 --> 00:09:15,888
Children: Good
morning, Ms. Teagues.
283
00:09:15,889 --> 00:09:17,347
Good morning, y'all.
284
00:09:17,348 --> 00:09:21,143
[ Children chattering ]
285
00:09:21,144 --> 00:09:22,936
My tooth fell out in the nugget!
286
00:09:22,937 --> 00:09:24,688
Melissa: Oh! Barbara: Oh!
287
00:09:24,689 --> 00:09:26,940
Wow, you used a
lot of ketchup there.
288
00:09:26,941 --> 00:09:28,609
Oh, blood. That is blood.
289
00:09:28,610 --> 00:09:29,902
These are frozen.
290
00:09:29,903 --> 00:09:31,612
Have some pudding, hon.
291
00:09:31,613 --> 00:09:33,363
What?
292
00:09:33,364 --> 00:09:34,573
[ Nugget thuds ] Shanae!
293
00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:36,200
These nuggets are cold and hard!
294
00:09:36,201 --> 00:09:37,910
Thank you,
Philadelphia Inquirer.
295
00:09:37,911 --> 00:09:39,203
You don't think I know?
296
00:09:39,204 --> 00:09:40,746
The gas still isn't back on.
297
00:09:40,747 --> 00:09:42,372
We heated them
the best we could.
298
00:09:42,373 --> 00:09:43,957
We had to serve something.
299
00:09:43,958 --> 00:09:45,959
Ooh, I have had it up to heaven
300
00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:47,544
with this golf course!
301
00:09:47,545 --> 00:09:50,005
We cannot live like
this the rest of the year.
302
00:09:50,006 --> 00:09:52,466
You know what? I'm gonna
do a little sniffing around.
303
00:09:52,467 --> 00:09:55,010
Although, I don't really
have the same connections
304
00:09:55,011 --> 00:09:56,595
I used to have in this city,
305
00:09:56,596 --> 00:09:58,680
which I guess, in a
way, is a sign of progress.
306
00:09:58,681 --> 00:09:59,681
Barbara: Oh.
307
00:10:04,229 --> 00:10:06,188
How'd the conversation
go with the HR guy?
308
00:10:06,189 --> 00:10:07,273
Didn't go.
309
00:10:08,608 --> 00:10:09,691
It's Janine.
310
00:10:09,692 --> 00:10:10,943
Has she said anything to you?
311
00:10:10,944 --> 00:10:13,153
Is she like, not that
into this relationship?
312
00:10:13,154 --> 00:10:16,156
Mnh-mnh. No. She's
definitely deeply in like with you.
313
00:10:16,157 --> 00:10:17,991
And I know you all
aren't ready to say it yet,
314
00:10:17,992 --> 00:10:20,035
but I love you both,
you know. [ Door opens ]
315
00:10:20,036 --> 00:10:21,119
[ Clears throat loudly ]
316
00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:22,913
Uh, hey, um,
317
00:10:22,914 --> 00:10:24,456
I cannot find my
presentation anywhere.
318
00:10:24,457 --> 00:10:25,958
I must have
forgotten it at home.
319
00:10:25,959 --> 00:10:27,125
Can't you just print
out another one?
320
00:10:27,126 --> 00:10:29,253
No, that one has
my notes, you know?
321
00:10:29,254 --> 00:10:30,629
That's how I know
when to be angry,
322
00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:32,549
when to be jovial, when
to pause for a laugh.
323
00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:36,760
See? So, anyway,
324
00:10:36,761 --> 00:10:39,179
I don't have time to go home
before the presentations.
325
00:10:39,180 --> 00:10:40,556
This is going to be bad.
326
00:10:40,557 --> 00:10:43,225
Um, well, I have a free period
when my kids are at gym.
327
00:10:43,226 --> 00:10:46,103
I could run to your place,
grab it, and head back.
328
00:10:46,104 --> 00:10:48,272
You're just the best.
329
00:10:48,273 --> 00:10:52,067
Okay, here are my house keys.
330
00:10:52,068 --> 00:10:53,068
You know how to get in.
331
00:10:55,947 --> 00:10:57,031
[ Footsteps receding ]
332
00:10:58,741 --> 00:11:00,909
[ Door opens ]
333
00:11:00,910 --> 00:11:01,994
Seems pretty into you.
334
00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:03,036
[ Door closes ]
335
00:11:03,037 --> 00:11:05,414
You have a little, um... Oh.
336
00:11:05,415 --> 00:11:06,707
Here, you want me
to get it? No, don't.
337
00:11:06,708 --> 00:11:08,000
Okay.
338
00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:10,752
[ Indistinct conversations ]
339
00:11:10,753 --> 00:11:12,087
Guys, guys.
340
00:11:12,088 --> 00:11:13,755
Non-union workers. What?
341
00:11:13,756 --> 00:11:15,799
The golf course.
They're using scabs.
342
00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:19,344
My cousin Tommy, he does
construction with the Local 955,
343
00:11:19,345 --> 00:11:20,721
and they haven't been called.
344
00:11:20,722 --> 00:11:21,889
They're cutting corners.
345
00:11:21,890 --> 00:11:23,390
One word to the city,
346
00:11:23,391 --> 00:11:24,683
and this course is
dunzo. Barbara: Ooh.
347
00:11:24,684 --> 00:11:27,102
Or, we can get my
cousin to kill all their pets.
348
00:11:27,103 --> 00:11:28,145
I'mma leave it up to you.
349
00:11:28,146 --> 00:11:29,730
Call the city. Jesus!
350
00:11:29,731 --> 00:11:31,398
All right. Easy.
351
00:11:31,399 --> 00:11:33,150
This is why I gave you options.
352
00:11:33,151 --> 00:11:35,903
Thank you all for joining
this mandatory meeting...
353
00:11:35,904 --> 00:11:38,155
"2024 School Year Goals."
354
00:11:38,156 --> 00:11:39,740
First up, Barbara Howard,
355
00:11:39,741 --> 00:11:40,617
on teaching new math.
356
00:11:40,618 --> 00:11:42,994
[ Applause ]
357
00:11:43,995 --> 00:11:45,871
Thank you.
358
00:11:45,872 --> 00:11:47,497
Esteemed colleagues,
359
00:11:47,498 --> 00:11:49,750
I've decided to go in
a different direction.
360
00:11:49,751 --> 00:11:53,128
Math hasn't changed, but
what has changed, however,
361
00:11:53,129 --> 00:11:57,674
is the viscosity of child
and adolescent rheum.
362
00:11:57,675 --> 00:11:59,551
[ Staff murmuring ]
363
00:11:59,552 --> 00:12:00,636
Boogers!
364
00:12:00,637 --> 00:12:02,221
Staff: Ohhh!
365
00:12:02,222 --> 00:12:05,641
Now, I know it might seem weird,
but the consistency is changing,
366
00:12:05,642 --> 00:12:08,018
and it is alarming.
367
00:12:08,019 --> 00:12:09,186
[ Whispering ] Where's Gregory?
368
00:12:09,187 --> 00:12:10,896
He just texted and
said he's in traffic
369
00:12:10,897 --> 00:12:11,731
because of road closures.
370
00:12:11,732 --> 00:12:13,440
Damn golf course!
371
00:12:13,441 --> 00:12:15,442
Jacob, I don't know
my presentation, okay?
372
00:12:15,443 --> 00:12:16,985
If I don't do my presentation,
373
00:12:16,986 --> 00:12:18,237
the kids don't go
to the aquarium.
374
00:12:18,238 --> 00:12:19,905
If the kids don't
go to the aquarium,
375
00:12:19,906 --> 00:12:21,698
they fail the SATs.
376
00:12:21,699 --> 00:12:24,368
Just breathe. Barbara's still
talking boogers. You got time.
377
00:12:24,369 --> 00:12:26,370
In conclusion... Damn it.
378
00:12:26,371 --> 00:12:28,914
I'm suggesting that
we get our milk tested
379
00:12:28,915 --> 00:12:30,958
and our glue tested too.
380
00:12:30,959 --> 00:12:33,126
[ Applause ]
381
00:12:33,127 --> 00:12:35,337
Thank you, Barb.
Janine, your turn.
382
00:12:35,338 --> 00:12:36,880
What? Come on, pipsqueak.
383
00:12:36,881 --> 00:12:37,965
Let's get this over with.
384
00:12:37,966 --> 00:12:39,049
Hmm.
385
00:12:39,050 --> 00:12:41,427
Okay. Alright.
386
00:12:44,514 --> 00:12:46,431
Let's give it up
for Barb, right?
387
00:12:46,432 --> 00:12:48,850
We did that already. Yeah,
yeah. Give it up for Barb.
388
00:12:48,851 --> 00:12:50,519
[ Scattered applause ]
389
00:12:50,520 --> 00:12:52,354
Alright. Hey, give
it up for yourselves.
390
00:12:52,355 --> 00:12:53,814
Janine!
391
00:12:53,815 --> 00:12:55,148
Okay, okay, okay.
392
00:12:55,149 --> 00:12:58,735
So, uh, my school-year
goal for 2024
393
00:12:58,736 --> 00:13:00,487
is to take us all
394
00:13:00,488 --> 00:13:02,781
to a field trip to the
Baltimore Aquarium.
395
00:13:02,782 --> 00:13:04,491
[ Staff exclaim ] Yes, yes.
396
00:13:04,492 --> 00:13:05,784
But before I get into it,
397
00:13:05,785 --> 00:13:08,954
I think we should
ask ourselves...
398
00:13:08,955 --> 00:13:12,958
What is an aquarium, really,
when you think about it?
399
00:13:12,959 --> 00:13:15,168
And who's really in the tank?
400
00:13:15,169 --> 00:13:17,754
Is it the fish, or is it us?
401
00:13:17,755 --> 00:13:18,715
[ Snapping ]
402
00:13:18,716 --> 00:13:19,716
Oh, thank God.
403
00:13:19,717 --> 00:13:20,882
Hey.
404
00:13:20,883 --> 00:13:21,883
It was in your kitchen.
405
00:13:21,884 --> 00:13:22,884
[ Chuckles ]
406
00:13:23,886 --> 00:13:25,262
Set.
407
00:13:25,263 --> 00:13:27,472
The Playskool one... Yeah.
408
00:13:27,473 --> 00:13:29,391
in your classroom
for the kids. Yes, yes.
409
00:13:29,392 --> 00:13:31,435
Why are you all
sweaty? [ Staff murmurs ]
410
00:13:31,436 --> 00:13:33,020
Uh, because I keep the
temperature in my classroom
411
00:13:33,021 --> 00:13:34,313
very warm, to sweat. Mm-hmm.
412
00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:35,522
You better turn it down!
413
00:13:35,523 --> 00:13:36,648
I will.
414
00:13:36,649 --> 00:13:37,729
Whose keys are you holding?
415
00:13:39,652 --> 00:13:42,779
Mine. So those keychains
are your keychains?
416
00:13:42,780 --> 00:13:43,865
You like Cinderella?
417
00:13:44,741 --> 00:13:46,158
[ Staff "Ooh" s ]
418
00:13:46,159 --> 00:13:47,367
I like what she represents.
419
00:13:47,368 --> 00:13:49,786
How about that one
that says J-A-N-I-N-E?
420
00:13:49,787 --> 00:13:50,996
Ava: Yeah, Gregory.
421
00:13:50,997 --> 00:13:53,248
Probably best for you
and anyone else involved
422
00:13:53,249 --> 00:13:56,168
if you tell all of us why.
423
00:13:56,169 --> 00:13:57,169
Warren: Hmm.
424
00:13:59,005 --> 00:14:00,839
[ Sighs ]
425
00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:03,091
What?! Gregory!
426
00:14:03,092 --> 00:14:05,677
Oh, my God, you must
have grabbed my house keys
427
00:14:05,678 --> 00:14:08,388
when I left them in the
teachers' lounge, so...
428
00:14:08,389 --> 00:14:11,475
And that would be why
my car didn't start. Yes.
429
00:14:11,476 --> 00:14:12,893
Why'd you go to your car? Yeah.
430
00:14:12,894 --> 00:14:14,144
Janine: Jacob!
431
00:14:14,145 --> 00:14:16,229
Um, he went to his car
432
00:14:16,230 --> 00:14:18,732
because he left
his keys in there.
433
00:14:18,733 --> 00:14:20,817
So how did he get in his car?
434
00:14:20,818 --> 00:14:22,194
Shut up. Give it up.
435
00:14:22,195 --> 00:14:24,279
I saw you two leave the
other day in the same car.
436
00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:25,031
[ Staff "Ooh" s ]
Well, y-you know, I...
437
00:14:25,032 --> 00:14:26,573
He was giving me a lift.
438
00:14:26,574 --> 00:14:27,741
Mm-hmm. That's all.
439
00:14:27,742 --> 00:14:29,868
Then you came back
the next day together.
440
00:14:29,869 --> 00:14:32,829
Well, that's because I-I saw
him walking and picked him up.
441
00:14:32,830 --> 00:14:33,914
Then why did I see
him take a duffel bag
442
00:14:33,915 --> 00:14:35,582
out of your trunk?
443
00:14:35,583 --> 00:14:36,958
Okay. I take duffel bags with
me everywhere all the time.
444
00:14:36,959 --> 00:14:38,794
Of course you do.
445
00:14:38,795 --> 00:14:40,545
Because everyone here knows
446
00:14:40,546 --> 00:14:41,588
that you two...
447
00:14:41,589 --> 00:14:43,006
[ Staff murmuring ]
448
00:14:43,007 --> 00:14:44,800
use the duffel bags
449
00:14:44,801 --> 00:14:46,802
to carry around the
drugs you're selling.
450
00:14:46,803 --> 00:14:47,886
'Cause you're selling drugs!
451
00:14:47,887 --> 00:14:49,554
Doing what?! No, no, no!
452
00:14:49,555 --> 00:14:51,139
We are not selling
drugs. We're having sex.
453
00:14:51,140 --> 00:14:53,642
Jacob: Yes! [ Staff exclaiming ]
454
00:14:53,643 --> 00:14:55,393
Mr. Johnson: This is
worse than I thought.
455
00:14:55,394 --> 00:14:57,938
What people won't do
for money. Mm, mm, mm.
456
00:14:57,939 --> 00:14:59,648
Man: Lord have mercy. Thanks.
457
00:14:59,649 --> 00:15:01,067
This is a damn shame.
458
00:15:03,319 --> 00:15:06,404
Janine: Maybe they didn't catch
on. No, no, cat's out the bag.
459
00:15:06,405 --> 00:15:09,241
Right. But what if we coax
the cat back into the bag?
460
00:15:09,242 --> 00:15:10,450
Because we can
call another meeting
461
00:15:10,451 --> 00:15:12,537
and tell everyone that
it was a prank, right?
462
00:15:13,788 --> 00:15:15,997
Janine, I-I've been
trying not to worry,
463
00:15:15,998 --> 00:15:18,042
but... should I be worried?
464
00:15:19,293 --> 00:15:22,879
Are you not... into this, or...?
465
00:15:22,880 --> 00:15:24,215
Gregory, are you crazy?
466
00:15:25,716 --> 00:15:26,634
Of course I'm into it. What?
467
00:15:26,635 --> 00:15:28,218
Well, then, what's going on?
468
00:15:28,219 --> 00:15:29,386
I mean, I get wanting
to keep people
469
00:15:29,387 --> 00:15:31,304
out of our business,
which we can do,
470
00:15:31,305 --> 00:15:33,348
but I think everyone's
rooting for us.
471
00:15:33,349 --> 00:15:34,558
And I'm not afraid of
HR, if that's what the...
472
00:15:34,559 --> 00:15:36,351
But maybe I am.
473
00:15:36,352 --> 00:15:37,519
[ Sighs ]
474
00:15:37,520 --> 00:15:39,271
Look. Okay.
475
00:15:39,272 --> 00:15:42,525
The last time I made
something "official"...
476
00:15:44,360 --> 00:15:45,695
it didn't work out.
477
00:15:48,406 --> 00:15:49,615
And I...
478
00:15:51,784 --> 00:15:55,955
I really, really, really,
really want this to work out.
479
00:15:58,207 --> 00:15:59,625
So, I guess I'm a little scared.
480
00:16:01,711 --> 00:16:03,212
[ Exhales deeply ]
481
00:16:04,255 --> 00:16:06,007
But we're not your last time.
482
00:16:07,758 --> 00:16:09,343
We're this time.
483
00:16:15,725 --> 00:16:17,143
Hey. Oh, yeah.
484
00:16:18,853 --> 00:16:20,228
[ Exhales sharply ]
485
00:16:20,229 --> 00:16:21,938
Let's tell the freaking world.
486
00:16:21,939 --> 00:16:23,148
I'm ready. [ Laughs ]
487
00:16:23,149 --> 00:16:24,316
Okay. Okay?
488
00:16:24,317 --> 00:16:25,817
Well, you just did... Yeah.
489
00:16:25,818 --> 00:16:27,110
when you told
everybody that we had sex.
490
00:16:27,111 --> 00:16:28,570
Right. They know. Yeah.
491
00:16:28,571 --> 00:16:30,155
But, um, yeah.
Let's make it official.
492
00:16:30,156 --> 00:16:31,115
Let's make it official.
Let's make it official.
493
00:16:31,116 --> 00:16:32,532
Okay. Right, but, okay.
494
00:16:32,533 --> 00:16:34,618
Real quick... This time,
let's keep the sex part out.
495
00:16:34,619 --> 00:16:36,244
Just take the sex out.
Don't need to say that.
496
00:16:36,245 --> 00:16:37,746
We don't need it. We
don't need it. Don't say sex.
497
00:16:37,747 --> 00:16:40,165
Don't say sex, don't say sex,
don't say sex, don't say sex.
498
00:16:40,166 --> 00:16:41,333
You could stop
saying it right now.
499
00:16:41,334 --> 00:16:42,918
You're saying sex
walking into a school.
500
00:16:42,919 --> 00:16:44,419
Yeah. Not the best... You know?
501
00:16:44,420 --> 00:16:47,088
So he checked me out,
but he took like a half hour.
502
00:16:47,089 --> 00:16:48,506
Would you please just sign out?
503
00:16:48,507 --> 00:16:50,968
Hi, there. I'm Miles Nathaniel.
504
00:16:51,969 --> 00:16:53,720
What are you, a Mormon?
505
00:16:53,721 --> 00:16:54,930
Look at this guy.
506
00:16:54,931 --> 00:16:56,598
Yeah. We're not
interested. Get lost, pal.
507
00:16:56,599 --> 00:16:58,475
Yes, I'm saved.
Thank you very much.
508
00:16:58,476 --> 00:16:59,643
And God bless you.
509
00:16:59,644 --> 00:17:01,228
Oh, no. I'm an attorney
with the fine folks
510
00:17:01,229 --> 00:17:02,729
over at Girard Creek Golf Club.
511
00:17:02,730 --> 00:17:04,731
I was just perusing
the neighborhood.
512
00:17:04,732 --> 00:17:06,233
Thought I'd pop in and say hi,
513
00:17:06,234 --> 00:17:07,193
seeing as how we're
going to be neighbors.
514
00:17:07,194 --> 00:17:08,652
Oh, I know what this is about.
515
00:17:08,653 --> 00:17:09,778
We call the city,
516
00:17:09,779 --> 00:17:11,279
and now you want
to dance, pretty boy?
517
00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:12,572
And I mean that as a compliment.
518
00:17:12,573 --> 00:17:15,116
Your skin is fantastic.
You must be so rich.
519
00:17:15,117 --> 00:17:16,701
Yeah. So you heard that we heard
520
00:17:16,702 --> 00:17:19,162
that you're over there
using non-union workers,
521
00:17:19,163 --> 00:17:21,081
and now you want
to do damage control.
522
00:17:21,082 --> 00:17:22,624
Your little construction
project has put
523
00:17:22,625 --> 00:17:24,209
quite a strain on our lives.
524
00:17:24,210 --> 00:17:25,919
We got a white child now.
525
00:17:25,920 --> 00:17:28,380
You want to get his
parents involved?
526
00:17:28,381 --> 00:17:30,215
Well, first of all,
allow me to apologize
527
00:17:30,216 --> 00:17:32,551
for any inconveniences
we may have caused.
528
00:17:32,552 --> 00:17:34,761
That's the opposite
of what we intend to do
529
00:17:34,762 --> 00:17:35,887
for our community.
530
00:17:35,888 --> 00:17:38,014
We really believe the
golf course can add
531
00:17:38,015 --> 00:17:39,266
a lot of value here.
532
00:17:39,267 --> 00:17:40,725
And what value would that be?
533
00:17:40,726 --> 00:17:42,561
Well, property
value, for one thing.
534
00:17:42,562 --> 00:17:44,646
That will go up, way up.
535
00:17:44,647 --> 00:17:46,022
So, if you're a homeowner,
536
00:17:46,023 --> 00:17:47,691
perhaps one
who's looking to sell
537
00:17:47,692 --> 00:17:50,485
and retire to, say,
a-a tropical island...
538
00:17:50,486 --> 00:17:52,153
Or Arizona.
539
00:17:52,154 --> 00:17:53,905
I'm... I'm partial to
the desert myself.
540
00:17:53,906 --> 00:17:55,699
Yeah, well, that's
gonna feel real good
541
00:17:55,700 --> 00:17:57,993
to the union workers
not getting paid.
542
00:17:57,994 --> 00:17:59,869
Please, uh, forgive
us for that oversight.
543
00:17:59,870 --> 00:18:01,329
We're amending that as we speak.
544
00:18:01,330 --> 00:18:03,373
We will be fully
unionized by Monday.
545
00:18:03,374 --> 00:18:05,333
We would be
unionized by Saturday,
546
00:18:05,334 --> 00:18:07,711
but, you know, unions.
547
00:18:07,712 --> 00:18:10,463
Uh, look, I know how hard it
can be to work with the city,
548
00:18:10,464 --> 00:18:13,341
so if you have any
future problems...
549
00:18:13,342 --> 00:18:14,801
Oh.
550
00:18:14,802 --> 00:18:15,886
What's that?
551
00:18:17,138 --> 00:18:18,513
That's a $500 gift card.
552
00:18:18,514 --> 00:18:19,681
Mm.
553
00:18:19,682 --> 00:18:21,224
I would have settled for $250,
554
00:18:21,225 --> 00:18:22,434
but this is classy.
555
00:18:22,435 --> 00:18:23,601
Barb, you can have half.
556
00:18:23,602 --> 00:18:25,020
Mm. But what about me?
557
00:18:25,021 --> 00:18:28,023
No, we are not on
your team, okay?
558
00:18:28,024 --> 00:18:29,774
Golf doesn't even have teams.
559
00:18:29,775 --> 00:18:30,900
Sorry to interrupt.
560
00:18:30,901 --> 00:18:32,861
I-I just remembered, we
have 15 new computers
561
00:18:32,862 --> 00:18:34,279
that we're looking to donate.
562
00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:36,781
Do you guys know anywhere
that could use them?
563
00:18:36,782 --> 00:18:38,825
Well, we could
we could use...
564
00:18:38,826 --> 00:18:40,076
No, wait.
565
00:18:40,077 --> 00:18:41,286
You know what? Let's make it 20.
566
00:18:41,287 --> 00:18:43,371
I think I saw a few extra
lying around the office.
567
00:18:43,372 --> 00:18:45,415
Look, the golf course
is going to happen
568
00:18:45,416 --> 00:18:46,583
no matter what.
569
00:18:46,584 --> 00:18:49,377
It can happen with
computers or without them.
570
00:18:49,378 --> 00:18:51,087
Go ahead and shake
the man's hand, Jacob,
571
00:18:51,088 --> 00:18:53,548
and recognize a blessing
when you see one.
572
00:18:53,549 --> 00:18:56,092
Unh-unh, unh-unh, unh-unh,
unh-unh, unh-unh, unh-unh.
573
00:18:56,093 --> 00:18:59,846
How about 25 computers and
you quit messing with the water?
574
00:18:59,847 --> 00:19:01,848
Can't promise that, but...
575
00:19:01,849 --> 00:19:03,768
I can throw in an
ergonomic chair or two.
576
00:19:06,103 --> 00:19:07,562
Oh! What y'all doing out there?
577
00:19:07,563 --> 00:19:09,189
Taking bribes.
578
00:19:09,190 --> 00:19:10,273
Alright.
579
00:19:10,274 --> 00:19:11,816
Just don't let Warren see.
580
00:19:11,817 --> 00:19:13,651
And get me something, too.
581
00:19:13,652 --> 00:19:14,862
Proud of y'all.
582
00:19:17,031 --> 00:19:18,573
So you're saying I
can't sell the jewelry
583
00:19:18,574 --> 00:19:19,949
that the kids make on Etsy?
584
00:19:19,950 --> 00:19:21,368
No, I'm saying it's illegal.
585
00:19:21,369 --> 00:19:22,702
Child labor laws.
586
00:19:22,703 --> 00:19:25,038
But is it really work if
they love what they do?
587
00:19:25,039 --> 00:19:26,039
[ Footsteps approaching ]
588
00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:27,248
[ Sighs ]
589
00:19:27,249 --> 00:19:28,333
Oh.
590
00:19:28,334 --> 00:19:29,418
Please have a seat.
591
00:19:31,337 --> 00:19:32,712
Okay, um,
592
00:19:32,713 --> 00:19:34,172
I guess I'll just jump right in.
593
00:19:34,173 --> 00:19:37,342
So, it all started when Gregory
594
00:19:37,343 --> 00:19:39,469
first got to the school
and I gave him a tour.
595
00:19:39,470 --> 00:19:41,012
Um, I thought,
596
00:19:41,013 --> 00:19:43,681
"This is somebody
I could get to know."
597
00:19:43,682 --> 00:19:47,018
And then I thought, "Maybe
a friendship with this guy."
598
00:19:47,019 --> 00:19:50,188
And then I thought,
"He's kind of cute,
599
00:19:50,189 --> 00:19:52,232
but he's my colleague."
600
00:19:52,233 --> 00:19:53,566
So, you know, at this point,
601
00:19:53,567 --> 00:19:55,610
you would think I would
go forward in the story,
602
00:19:55,611 --> 00:19:58,363
but I actually probably
need to go back a few years,
603
00:19:58,364 --> 00:20:01,699
um, to 11th grade,
when I finally hit puberty.
604
00:20:01,700 --> 00:20:02,701
Warren: Hm!
605
00:20:02,702 --> 00:20:04,786
What is your
relationship status?
606
00:20:04,787 --> 00:20:06,080
Uh...
607
00:20:07,248 --> 00:20:08,582
He's my boyfriend.
608
00:20:10,584 --> 00:20:11,918
And she's my girlfriend.
609
00:20:11,919 --> 00:20:13,003
Great. All done.
610
00:20:14,422 --> 00:20:15,505
That's it?
611
00:20:15,506 --> 00:20:16,673
Ava: That's it.
612
00:20:16,674 --> 00:20:18,007
I mean, there's no
power imbalance here,
613
00:20:18,008 --> 00:20:19,259
so it's super easy.
614
00:20:19,260 --> 00:20:20,593
I just needed to record it.
615
00:20:20,594 --> 00:20:22,263
Good luck to the both of you.
616
00:20:23,347 --> 00:20:25,014
Hopefully she doesn't leave
you like she left the district.
617
00:20:25,015 --> 00:20:27,100
[ Chuckles ] Uh-huh.
618
00:20:27,101 --> 00:20:29,978
I'm happy for y'all. Truly.
619
00:20:29,979 --> 00:20:31,771
I just wanted you guys
to be smart about this.
620
00:20:31,772 --> 00:20:33,189
But, now you're both safe,
621
00:20:33,190 --> 00:20:35,233
and more importantly, so am I.
622
00:20:35,234 --> 00:20:36,568
Thank you, Ava. Thanks, Ava.
623
00:20:36,569 --> 00:20:37,986
You're welcome.
624
00:20:37,987 --> 00:20:39,362
Gregory...
625
00:20:39,363 --> 00:20:41,614
our situationship is over.
626
00:20:41,615 --> 00:20:43,366
Why... Just let her have it.
627
00:20:43,367 --> 00:20:45,369
Yeah. Okay.
628
00:20:46,746 --> 00:20:47,746
[ Whispers ] Let's go.
629
00:20:49,957 --> 00:20:52,250
So, in conclusion, and
as you can clearly see,
630
00:20:52,251 --> 00:20:53,585
he's a scumbag.
631
00:20:53,586 --> 00:20:55,503
That has to be an HR violation.
632
00:20:55,504 --> 00:20:57,046
Well, there's worse things
I could call you, buddy.
633
00:20:57,047 --> 00:20:58,715
You two just need to grow up.
634
00:20:58,716 --> 00:21:00,216
You can leave now.
635
00:21:00,217 --> 00:21:02,302
[ Sighs ]
636
00:21:02,303 --> 00:21:03,887
Next.
637
00:21:03,888 --> 00:21:06,514
Okay. I don't even
know why I'm here.
638
00:21:06,515 --> 00:21:07,849
Oh, she knows why we're here.
639
00:21:07,850 --> 00:21:09,101
This is an open-and-shut case.
640
00:21:12,938 --> 00:21:15,440
These are all the
takeout menus I gave you.
641
00:21:15,441 --> 00:21:16,858
Uh-huh.
642
00:21:16,859 --> 00:21:18,401
And those were suggestions
that we should go out to dinner.
643
00:21:18,402 --> 00:21:20,945
[ Scoffs ] I can read between
the lines. You're sick.
644
00:21:20,946 --> 00:21:23,699
Write that down.
Yeah, on it.
43046
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