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1
00:00:03,503 --> 00:00:04,546
[ Gasps ]
2
00:00:10,382 --> 00:00:11,884
I just saw a ghost, y'all!
3
00:00:13,300 --> 00:00:14,675
Why are we doing this?
It was a ghost.
4
00:00:14,675 --> 00:00:16,593
I came around the corner,
he was sitting right there.
5
00:00:16,593 --> 00:00:18,177
I'm thinking he's like
a Victorian era...
6
00:00:18,178 --> 00:00:20,471
Oh, my God, they're multiplying!
7
00:00:20,470 --> 00:00:23,889
Uh, hi. We're looking for
Principal Coleman.
8
00:00:23,889 --> 00:00:25,681
It's our son Charlie's
first day.
9
00:00:25,681 --> 00:00:27,849
We enrolled
via the district website.
10
00:00:27,849 --> 00:00:29,808
[ Chuckles ] Please tell
me you guys see them, too.
11
00:00:29,808 --> 00:00:31,267
Melissa: Ava. You know what?
12
00:00:31,267 --> 00:00:32,143
Let me go get my proton pack.
13
00:00:32,144 --> 00:00:33,435
Hey, hey, stop. Stop.
14
00:00:33,435 --> 00:00:36,395
So, they're building a
big-time PGA golf course
15
00:00:36,394 --> 00:00:39,230
about 10 blocks away from
here in the Girard Creek area.
16
00:00:39,230 --> 00:00:41,439
It's allegedly
good for the city,
17
00:00:41,439 --> 00:00:42,648
and people are into it.
18
00:00:42,648 --> 00:00:45,858
And, um, new people
are moving to Philly...
19
00:00:45,858 --> 00:00:48,777
West Philly...
just to play there.
20
00:00:48,776 --> 00:00:50,068
So...
21
00:00:50,068 --> 00:00:52,527
And while Tiger Woods
is a notable golfer,
22
00:00:52,527 --> 00:00:54,946
the demographic of most golfers
23
00:00:54,946 --> 00:00:57,822
is mainly, um...
24
00:00:57,822 --> 00:00:58,948
We're so excited to be here.
25
00:00:58,948 --> 00:01:00,365
Yeah, we were
recommended we go private
26
00:01:00,365 --> 00:01:02,157
from, gosh, nearly every person
27
00:01:02,157 --> 00:01:04,283
and website we
know, but we were like,
28
00:01:04,283 --> 00:01:06,409
"Hey, public all the
way!" [ Laughter ]
29
00:01:06,409 --> 00:01:07,618
So...
30
00:01:07,619 --> 00:01:09,078
Well, it's great to have you.
31
00:01:09,078 --> 00:01:10,578
This is new. Yeah.
32
00:01:10,578 --> 00:01:11,995
First time in all my years.
33
00:01:11,995 --> 00:01:13,412
Well, thrilled to meet you.
34
00:01:13,413 --> 00:01:14,705
And, uh, just because
it's nice to have
35
00:01:14,705 --> 00:01:15,914
a new student, and
no other reasons.
36
00:01:15,914 --> 00:01:17,790
Okay, and I'm Ms. Teagues.
37
00:01:17,790 --> 00:01:19,165
I believe I'm your
teacher, Charlie.
38
00:01:19,166 --> 00:01:21,251
Welcome. And it's so
nice to meet you both.
39
00:01:21,251 --> 00:01:23,293
And I'm Principal Coleman,
40
00:01:23,293 --> 00:01:24,919
the one you were looking for.
41
00:01:24,919 --> 00:01:26,336
Totally remember you enrolling
42
00:01:26,336 --> 00:01:28,337
the little and
very real Charlie.
43
00:01:28,337 --> 00:01:31,256
And we are incredibly
pleased to have you
44
00:01:31,256 --> 00:01:32,798
and welcome you to the rich,
45
00:01:32,798 --> 00:01:35,424
diverse tapestry of
Abbott Elementary.
46
00:01:35,423 --> 00:01:36,423
You'll fit right in.
47
00:01:37,259 --> 00:01:38,884
Are we being audited?
48
00:01:38,884 --> 00:01:41,886
[ Maker's "Hold'em" playing ]
49
00:01:41,885 --> 00:01:46,555
♪♪
50
00:01:46,554 --> 00:01:51,392
♪♪
51
00:01:51,390 --> 00:01:52,515
Janine: Come on in.
52
00:01:52,516 --> 00:01:53,599
Hello, Ms. Teagues.
53
00:01:53,599 --> 00:01:55,392
Oh. Hello, Mr. Eddie.
54
00:01:55,392 --> 00:01:56,809
Hope your day's going well.
55
00:01:56,810 --> 00:01:58,602
It is. Thank you for asking. Mm.
56
00:01:58,602 --> 00:02:00,436
And I hope your day
is going well, as well.
57
00:02:00,436 --> 00:02:01,896
It is. Thank you.
58
00:02:05,438 --> 00:02:08,941
So, Gregory and I did try
out a relationship for a little bit,
59
00:02:08,941 --> 00:02:11,985
but in the end, it
just didn't work out.
60
00:02:11,984 --> 00:02:14,403
So, now, we are
back to being friends.
61
00:02:15,485 --> 00:02:16,694
Just kidding! Ha, ha!
62
00:02:16,695 --> 00:02:17,987
We got y'all! Yeah.
63
00:02:17,987 --> 00:02:19,279
So we're, um...
64
00:02:19,279 --> 00:02:20,696
W-We're dating.
We're dating, yeah.
65
00:02:20,697 --> 00:02:22,531
After the party that
night, we started dating.
66
00:02:22,531 --> 00:02:24,073
Yeah. And it's been
going really, really well.
67
00:02:24,073 --> 00:02:26,324
Right, and I'm happy.
I would tell everyone,
68
00:02:26,324 --> 00:02:28,826
but Janine so intelligently
pointed out that
69
00:02:28,825 --> 00:02:31,034
we should keep our work
and personal lives separate.
70
00:02:31,034 --> 00:02:32,493
And I have to agree with that.
71
00:02:32,494 --> 00:02:34,203
Yeah, yeah. And on top of that,
72
00:02:34,203 --> 00:02:35,787
we just get to have fun
73
00:02:35,787 --> 00:02:37,746
and let our relationship be
74
00:02:37,746 --> 00:02:38,955
just us, you know? Mm-hmm.
75
00:02:38,955 --> 00:02:41,540
So, aside from
Jacob, nobody knows.
76
00:02:41,540 --> 00:02:42,540
Nobody.
77
00:02:42,541 --> 00:02:43,666
Together: We all know.
78
00:02:43,666 --> 00:02:45,208
It's just beyond obvious.
79
00:02:45,208 --> 00:02:46,458
I don't even know
how their dumb asses
80
00:02:46,459 --> 00:02:47,419
think they hidin' it.
81
00:02:47,419 --> 00:02:48,501
They stay in each other's faces.
82
00:02:48,502 --> 00:02:50,003
Dumbasses.
83
00:02:50,003 --> 00:02:51,587
Barbara: But we're gonna
let them have their space
84
00:02:51,587 --> 00:02:53,921
because, clearly, they need it.
85
00:02:53,921 --> 00:02:55,255
Honestly, I don't
care that much.
86
00:02:55,255 --> 00:02:56,630
I got bills, you know?
87
00:02:56,630 --> 00:02:58,172
I know that's
right. If anything,
88
00:02:58,173 --> 00:03:00,091
it's an insult to
our intelligence.
89
00:03:00,091 --> 00:03:01,925
We know what two people
look like when they hunchin' hard.
90
00:03:01,925 --> 00:03:02,925
We're not dumb.
91
00:03:02,925 --> 00:03:04,009
Mnh-mnh. Mnh-mnh.
92
00:03:04,010 --> 00:03:05,135
Alright class, we're going to
93
00:03:05,135 --> 00:03:06,969
unfold our paper,
94
00:03:06,969 --> 00:03:08,845
and we have a beautiful...
95
00:03:08,845 --> 00:03:10,304
Children: Butterfly!
96
00:03:10,304 --> 00:03:12,263
Yes! Specifically,
97
00:03:12,263 --> 00:03:15,015
an orange sulfur butterfly,
98
00:03:15,015 --> 00:03:18,851
which is native to Pennsylvania!
99
00:03:18,850 --> 00:03:21,184
Can't find that in
Jersey, now, can you?
100
00:03:21,184 --> 00:03:23,269
Children: No!
101
00:03:23,269 --> 00:03:24,436
[ Water trickling ]
102
00:03:24,436 --> 00:03:26,270
What in the world?
103
00:03:26,270 --> 00:03:28,938
Hey, Barb, is your
water pressure low?
104
00:03:28,938 --> 00:03:30,564
Some kid just sneezed
God knows what in my hand,
105
00:03:30,564 --> 00:03:32,356
and I got no water going on.
106
00:03:32,356 --> 00:03:33,316
Me too.
107
00:03:33,317 --> 00:03:34,482
Ugh!
108
00:03:34,482 --> 00:03:35,650
Ava? Oh!
109
00:03:37,109 --> 00:03:38,651
Ava? A-va!
110
00:03:38,651 --> 00:03:40,444
What is going on?
111
00:03:40,444 --> 00:03:43,154
The water pressure is
lower than Gerald's iron.
112
00:03:43,154 --> 00:03:44,571
Now, who the hell is Gerald?
113
00:03:44,571 --> 00:03:47,031
Look, it's the new golf course.
They broke a water pipe.
114
00:03:47,031 --> 00:03:48,364
There's nothing
we can do about it.
115
00:03:48,364 --> 00:03:50,574
I'm just about fed up with
this golf course construction.
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00:03:50,574 --> 00:03:52,158
Mm-hmm. Just
blocking up traffic,
117
00:03:52,158 --> 00:03:53,575
making it difficult
to get in here
118
00:03:53,576 --> 00:03:54,701
in the mornings,
119
00:03:54,701 --> 00:03:56,452
and the noise all day long!
120
00:03:56,452 --> 00:03:58,953
And I've noticed an uptick
in the rodents and bugs.
121
00:03:58,953 --> 00:04:00,078
That's construction, too. Mm!
122
00:04:00,078 --> 00:04:01,662
I killed 30 roaches
this morning.
123
00:04:01,663 --> 00:04:02,539
Oh. [ Sprays ]
124
00:04:02,539 --> 00:04:05,248
Hey! 31. This has to stop.
125
00:04:05,248 --> 00:04:07,624
Ava: Look, I gotta listen to
y'all complain all damn day.
126
00:04:07,623 --> 00:04:10,208
"We want books. We want
paper towels in the classroom."
127
00:04:10,208 --> 00:04:11,792
Bet you want raises, too.
128
00:04:11,792 --> 00:04:13,543
Yeah, I like money. I'm still
waiting on the paper towels.
129
00:04:13,543 --> 00:04:14,461
This project is
backed by the city,
130
00:04:14,462 --> 00:04:15,753
so there's nothing I can do.
131
00:04:15,753 --> 00:04:17,170
And don't forget...
132
00:04:17,171 --> 00:04:18,755
back-to-school staff
meeting tomorrow.
133
00:04:18,755 --> 00:04:21,340
Have your presentations ready
with your proposed yearly goals.
134
00:04:21,340 --> 00:04:22,631
Melissa: Yeah,
yeah, yeah. [ Stomps ]
135
00:04:22,631 --> 00:04:24,007
Hey! 32.
136
00:04:24,007 --> 00:04:25,883
Must you kill these
living creatures
137
00:04:25,883 --> 00:04:27,342
so forcefully?
138
00:04:27,343 --> 00:04:29,177
I didn't get that one.
It's headed to you.
139
00:04:29,177 --> 00:04:30,260
[ Both scream ]
140
00:04:30,260 --> 00:04:31,677
Die! Die! [ Melissa screams ]
141
00:04:31,677 --> 00:04:33,219
Aah! [ Spraying ]
142
00:04:33,220 --> 00:04:34,888
Gregory: Going to
do my presentation on
143
00:04:34,888 --> 00:04:36,847
the benefits of plants
in each classroom.
144
00:04:36,847 --> 00:04:37,640
Try to get people
on board for that.
145
00:04:37,640 --> 00:04:39,556
That is so amazing.
146
00:04:39,556 --> 00:04:41,390
I mean, it's... it's
very thoughtful.
147
00:04:41,390 --> 00:04:43,642
I mean, it's no
school-wide field trip
148
00:04:43,642 --> 00:04:45,601
to the Baltimore Aquarium,
like your presentation. [ Sighs ]
149
00:04:45,601 --> 00:04:47,226
Principal Coleman,
you have a second?
150
00:04:47,226 --> 00:04:49,019
We're fact-checking
for our podcast club.
151
00:04:49,020 --> 00:04:51,104
Yeah, we reported
that Mr. Hill can't read,
152
00:04:51,103 --> 00:04:52,354
which turned out
to be... Not true!
153
00:04:52,355 --> 00:04:54,606
Why are you always asking
us to read out loud, then?
154
00:04:54,606 --> 00:04:56,315
What are you fact-checking now?
155
00:04:56,315 --> 00:04:57,565
[ Cellphone chirps ] Are Ms.
Teagues and Mr. Eddie dating?
156
00:04:57,565 --> 00:05:01,610
Uh, why not report on
something a little more exciting?
157
00:05:01,609 --> 00:05:03,735
Like... Like the weather, okay?
158
00:05:03,735 --> 00:05:05,486
It does often change.
159
00:05:05,486 --> 00:05:08,488
In fact, there's more
to this Mr. C story.
160
00:05:08,488 --> 00:05:10,655
Like how he's always
listening to audiobooks.
161
00:05:10,655 --> 00:05:12,406
[ Footsteps receding ]
162
00:05:12,406 --> 00:05:14,366
I was letting Janine and
Gregory have their fun,
163
00:05:14,366 --> 00:05:16,241
but if the kids even
know about them...
164
00:05:16,241 --> 00:05:18,701
Look, from my summer
at principal school,
165
00:05:18,701 --> 00:05:20,660
I learned that I'll get in
trouble if they get in trouble.
166
00:05:20,660 --> 00:05:21,911
So I got to take action.
167
00:05:21,911 --> 00:05:24,412
Which is my least
favorite thing to take.
168
00:05:24,412 --> 00:05:25,621
Pizza here.
169
00:05:25,621 --> 00:05:27,872
I like the way you
pass that pizza.
170
00:05:27,872 --> 00:05:29,832
I like the way you
hand out milk boxes.
171
00:05:31,791 --> 00:05:33,625
That's for you. There you go.
172
00:05:33,625 --> 00:05:34,918
And you.
173
00:05:36,001 --> 00:05:37,335
Um, you know what?
174
00:05:37,335 --> 00:05:39,044
Maybe we wanna be more careful,
175
00:05:39,044 --> 00:05:41,337
because people
might be watching,
176
00:05:41,337 --> 00:05:42,921
and we don't want people
to get the wrong idea.
177
00:05:42,921 --> 00:05:46,048
Maybe, instead of always
looking over our shoulders...
178
00:05:46,048 --> 00:05:47,215
Our very broad
shoulders. [ Chuckles ]
179
00:05:47,215 --> 00:05:49,216
We should just
tell our co-workers.
180
00:05:49,216 --> 00:05:50,674
Well, yeah, but, you know,
181
00:05:50,674 --> 00:05:54,177
we don't want everyone in our
business of, like, what we are.
182
00:05:54,177 --> 00:05:55,053
And we can't forget HR.
183
00:05:55,053 --> 00:05:56,177
I mean, that's very intense.
184
00:05:56,178 --> 00:05:57,720
Yeah, I was thinking about that.
185
00:05:57,720 --> 00:05:59,429
HR is only an issue if
somebody reports us,
186
00:05:59,429 --> 00:06:02,848
and HR hasn't been to
this school since... ever.
187
00:06:02,847 --> 00:06:05,307
[ Intercom beeps ] Ava:
Attention Abbott staff.
188
00:06:05,307 --> 00:06:07,767
Tomorrow, an HR
representative from the district
189
00:06:07,767 --> 00:06:09,142
will be here for the day.
190
00:06:09,142 --> 00:06:11,143
He'll be available
to all staff members
191
00:06:11,143 --> 00:06:12,811
if they feel the need
to make any complaints
192
00:06:12,811 --> 00:06:14,186
or inquire about benefits
193
00:06:14,186 --> 00:06:15,728
or report anything...
194
00:06:15,729 --> 00:06:17,105
anything at all.
195
00:06:17,105 --> 00:06:20,232
Mm, mm, mm. I
know what that's about.
196
00:06:20,231 --> 00:06:21,815
You do? [ Chuckles ]
197
00:06:21,816 --> 00:06:23,067
Of course I do.
198
00:06:24,608 --> 00:06:26,901
Um... You've seen the
way Melissa hits on me.
199
00:06:26,901 --> 00:06:29,486
She's always, "Mr.
Johnson, my trash is filled."
200
00:06:29,486 --> 00:06:31,737
"Mr. Johnson, can you
please take out my trash?"
201
00:06:31,737 --> 00:06:34,030
"Mr. Johnson, this
is your whole job."
202
00:06:34,029 --> 00:06:35,363
Flirting her little ass off!
203
00:06:35,364 --> 00:06:36,489
Oh. Okay.
204
00:06:36,489 --> 00:06:38,156
She's going down.
205
00:06:38,156 --> 00:06:40,075
Get her! [ Chuckles lightly ]
206
00:06:42,534 --> 00:06:45,661
Jacob! I am not letting
you microwave your beans
207
00:06:45,661 --> 00:06:47,120
with my tea.
208
00:06:47,120 --> 00:06:48,620
Barbara, please. We
are running out of time
209
00:06:48,620 --> 00:06:50,371
before class starts.
210
00:06:50,371 --> 00:06:52,831
It is not my fault road closures
allowed traffic to back up.
211
00:06:52,831 --> 00:06:55,165
Now, please, move your beans.
212
00:06:55,165 --> 00:06:56,125
[ Microwave clatters,
beeps ] Thank you.
213
00:06:56,125 --> 00:06:57,125
I'll tell you what.
214
00:06:57,126 --> 00:06:59,126
If that golf course was a person
215
00:06:59,126 --> 00:07:02,044
and I wasn't a fully
law-abiding citizen,
216
00:07:02,043 --> 00:07:03,502
they'd be sinking
to the bottom of
217
00:07:03,502 --> 00:07:05,002
the Schuylkill River
right about now.
218
00:07:05,003 --> 00:07:05,754
My Bunsen burners
aren't working.
219
00:07:05,754 --> 00:07:07,129
Who shut off the gas?
220
00:07:07,130 --> 00:07:08,713
Are you cooking eggs
in your classroom?
221
00:07:08,713 --> 00:07:10,381
You needn't worry
about matters concerning
222
00:07:10,381 --> 00:07:12,048
the breakfast sciences.
Now, who did it?
223
00:07:12,048 --> 00:07:13,132
The construction
workers turned off the gas
224
00:07:13,133 --> 00:07:14,341
to the entire grid.
225
00:07:14,341 --> 00:07:15,716
Mr. Morton: Aw.
Nothing I can do about it.
226
00:07:15,716 --> 00:07:17,175
Write a letter to the city.
227
00:07:17,176 --> 00:07:19,536
I don't know what's more vile
this golf course or Morton.
228
00:07:20,094 --> 00:07:21,803
Here are the pains in my asses.
229
00:07:21,803 --> 00:07:23,137
I'm sorry. The what?
230
00:07:23,138 --> 00:07:24,513
Everyone, as promised,
231
00:07:24,513 --> 00:07:26,389
HR is here today.
This is Warren.
232
00:07:26,389 --> 00:07:27,681
So if anyone has
anything they want to file,
233
00:07:27,681 --> 00:07:28,681
just raise your hand.
234
00:07:28,682 --> 00:07:29,599
Not about me.
235
00:07:29,599 --> 00:07:31,391
About other things.
236
00:07:31,391 --> 00:07:32,724
Well...
237
00:07:32,725 --> 00:07:34,309
[ Bell rings ] Oh!
238
00:07:34,309 --> 00:07:36,144
And we're out of time.
239
00:07:36,144 --> 00:07:38,019
And... yours.
240
00:07:38,019 --> 00:07:40,062
Excuse me. Excuse me.
241
00:07:40,062 --> 00:07:42,355
Good morning, Daniel.
242
00:07:42,355 --> 00:07:45,566
Hey, how about Italian for
dinner tonight? LaScala's?
243
00:07:45,565 --> 00:07:48,275
We're gonna be nice to our
desk mates today, yeah, Yasmine?
244
00:07:48,275 --> 00:07:50,317
I'm good with that, as long
as they got buttered noodles.
245
00:07:50,317 --> 00:07:51,860
I'd never take you anywhere
without buttered noodles.
246
00:07:51,860 --> 00:07:52,860
[ Quietly ] Come on in.
247
00:07:54,319 --> 00:07:56,529
Yeah, it's nice talking to
you while looking at you.
248
00:07:56,529 --> 00:07:57,946
[ Chuckles ] Which reminds me,
249
00:07:57,946 --> 00:08:00,448
when do you want
to talk with/confess
250
00:08:00,448 --> 00:08:02,782
that we're dating to HR?
251
00:08:02,782 --> 00:08:03,782
I have fifth period free.
252
00:08:03,782 --> 00:08:05,992
Oh, yeah, um...
253
00:08:05,992 --> 00:08:07,742
How about, like, later?
254
00:08:07,742 --> 00:08:09,910
Like, after the back-to-school
presentations? Okay?
255
00:08:09,910 --> 00:08:11,494
Uh, actually...
[ Clears throat ]
256
00:08:11,494 --> 00:08:14,037
Good morning, Ms. Teagues.
Good morning, Mr. Eddie.
257
00:08:14,037 --> 00:08:15,663
You remember
Warren, right, Janine?
258
00:08:15,663 --> 00:08:16,955
HR at the district. Mm-hmm.
259
00:08:16,955 --> 00:08:19,415
Janine, it's so good to see you,
260
00:08:19,415 --> 00:08:21,916
after wasting our time
at the district. [ Chuckles ]
261
00:08:21,916 --> 00:08:23,625
I told Superintendent
Reynolds I knew you didn't have
262
00:08:23,625 --> 00:08:25,251
what it takes to
be a district diva.
263
00:08:25,251 --> 00:08:27,419
It is good to see
you again, Warren.
264
00:08:27,419 --> 00:08:30,671
Anything you want to make
Warren aware of, you can.
265
00:08:30,670 --> 00:08:31,921
Anything at all.
266
00:08:34,755 --> 00:08:37,466
Well, um, we...
Well, we got nothing.
267
00:08:37,466 --> 00:08:40,509
Uh, except it is so
good to see you, really.
268
00:08:40,508 --> 00:08:41,801
[ Warren chuckles ]
269
00:08:43,594 --> 00:08:45,803
Um, yeah, nothing to report.
270
00:08:45,803 --> 00:08:47,763
Well, he'll be here all day,
271
00:08:47,763 --> 00:08:49,890
if your memories
happen to get jogged.
272
00:08:52,890 --> 00:08:55,600
Phew! Um, hey, real quick.
273
00:08:55,600 --> 00:08:56,559
Everything good?
274
00:08:56,559 --> 00:08:58,017
We could have
at least tee'd it up.
275
00:08:58,018 --> 00:09:00,060
Yeah, no, everything is fine.
276
00:09:00,060 --> 00:09:03,730
It's just, um, you know,
like we said, later today.
277
00:09:03,729 --> 00:09:05,980
We don't want to drop
life-changing information
278
00:09:05,980 --> 00:09:08,023
before class even starts, right?
279
00:09:08,022 --> 00:09:09,981
[ Chuckles awkwardly ] So...
280
00:09:09,982 --> 00:09:11,983
Have a good morning, Mr. Eddie.
281
00:09:11,982 --> 00:09:13,941
Hey, good morning.
How you doing?
282
00:09:13,942 --> 00:09:15,610
Children: Good
morning, Ms. Teagues.
283
00:09:15,610 --> 00:09:17,068
Good morning, y'all.
284
00:09:17,068 --> 00:09:20,863
[ Children chattering ]
285
00:09:20,862 --> 00:09:22,654
My tooth fell out in the nugget!
286
00:09:22,654 --> 00:09:24,405
Melissa: Oh! Barbara: Oh!
287
00:09:24,405 --> 00:09:26,656
Wow, you used a
lot of ketchup there.
288
00:09:26,656 --> 00:09:28,324
Oh, blood. That is blood.
289
00:09:28,324 --> 00:09:29,616
These are frozen.
290
00:09:29,617 --> 00:09:31,326
Have some pudding, hon.
291
00:09:31,326 --> 00:09:33,076
What?
292
00:09:33,076 --> 00:09:34,285
[ Nugget thuds ] Shanae!
293
00:09:34,285 --> 00:09:35,911
These nuggets are cold and hard!
294
00:09:35,911 --> 00:09:37,620
Thank you,
Philadelphia Inquirer.
295
00:09:37,621 --> 00:09:38,913
You don't think I know?
296
00:09:38,913 --> 00:09:40,455
The gas still isn't back on.
297
00:09:40,455 --> 00:09:42,080
We heated them
the best we could.
298
00:09:42,080 --> 00:09:43,664
We had to serve something.
299
00:09:43,664 --> 00:09:45,665
Ooh, I have had it up to heaven
300
00:09:45,665 --> 00:09:47,249
with this golf course!
301
00:09:47,250 --> 00:09:49,710
We cannot live like
this the rest of the year.
302
00:09:49,709 --> 00:09:52,169
You know what? I'm gonna
do a little sniffing around.
303
00:09:52,169 --> 00:09:54,712
Although, I don't really
have the same connections
304
00:09:54,712 --> 00:09:56,296
I used to have in this city,
305
00:09:56,296 --> 00:09:58,380
which I guess, in a
way, is a sign of progress.
306
00:09:58,380 --> 00:09:59,380
Barbara: Oh.
307
00:10:03,925 --> 00:10:05,884
How'd the conversation
go with the HR guy?
308
00:10:05,884 --> 00:10:06,968
Didn't go.
309
00:10:08,302 --> 00:10:09,385
It's Janine.
310
00:10:09,385 --> 00:10:10,636
Has she said anything to you?
311
00:10:10,637 --> 00:10:12,846
Is she like, not that
into this relationship?
312
00:10:12,846 --> 00:10:15,848
Mnh-mnh. No. She's
definitely deeply in like with you.
313
00:10:15,847 --> 00:10:17,681
And I know you all
aren't ready to say it yet,
314
00:10:17,681 --> 00:10:19,724
but I love you both,
you know. [ Door opens ]
315
00:10:19,724 --> 00:10:20,807
[ Clears throat loudly ]
316
00:10:20,808 --> 00:10:22,601
Uh, hey, um,
317
00:10:22,601 --> 00:10:24,143
I cannot find my
presentation anywhere.
318
00:10:24,143 --> 00:10:25,644
I must have
forgotten it at home.
319
00:10:25,644 --> 00:10:26,810
Can't you just print
out another one?
320
00:10:26,811 --> 00:10:28,938
No, that one has
my notes, you know?
321
00:10:28,938 --> 00:10:30,313
That's how I know
when to be angry,
322
00:10:30,313 --> 00:10:32,232
when to be jovial, when
to pause for a laugh.
323
00:10:34,315 --> 00:10:36,441
See? So, anyway,
324
00:10:36,441 --> 00:10:38,859
I don't have time to go home
before the presentations.
325
00:10:38,859 --> 00:10:40,235
This is going to be bad.
326
00:10:40,235 --> 00:10:42,903
Um, well, I have a free period
when my kids are at gym.
327
00:10:42,902 --> 00:10:45,779
I could run to your place,
grab it, and head back.
328
00:10:45,779 --> 00:10:47,947
You're just the best.
329
00:10:47,947 --> 00:10:51,741
Okay, here are my house keys.
330
00:10:51,740 --> 00:10:52,740
You know how to get in.
331
00:10:55,617 --> 00:10:56,701
[ Footsteps receding ]
332
00:10:58,410 --> 00:11:00,578
[ Door opens ]
333
00:11:00,578 --> 00:11:01,662
Seems pretty into you.
334
00:11:01,662 --> 00:11:02,703
[ Door closes ]
335
00:11:02,703 --> 00:11:05,080
You have a little, um... Oh.
336
00:11:05,080 --> 00:11:06,372
Here, you want me
to get it? No, don't.
337
00:11:06,373 --> 00:11:07,665
Okay.
338
00:11:07,665 --> 00:11:10,416
[ Indistinct conversations ]
339
00:11:10,416 --> 00:11:11,750
Guys, guys.
340
00:11:11,750 --> 00:11:13,417
Non-union workers. What?
341
00:11:13,417 --> 00:11:15,460
The golf course.
They're using scabs.
342
00:11:15,460 --> 00:11:19,004
My cousin Tommy, he does
construction with the Local 955,
343
00:11:19,003 --> 00:11:20,379
and they haven't been called.
344
00:11:20,380 --> 00:11:21,547
They're cutting corners.
345
00:11:21,547 --> 00:11:23,047
One word to the city,
346
00:11:23,047 --> 00:11:24,339
and this course is
dunzo. Barbara: Ooh.
347
00:11:24,340 --> 00:11:26,758
Or, we can get my
cousin to kill all their pets.
348
00:11:26,757 --> 00:11:27,799
I'mma leave it up to you.
349
00:11:27,800 --> 00:11:29,384
Call the city. Jesus!
350
00:11:29,384 --> 00:11:31,051
All right. Easy.
351
00:11:31,051 --> 00:11:32,802
This is why I gave you options.
352
00:11:32,802 --> 00:11:35,554
Thank you all for joining
this mandatory meeting...
353
00:11:35,554 --> 00:11:37,805
"2024 School Year Goals."
354
00:11:37,805 --> 00:11:39,389
First up, Barbara Howard,
355
00:11:39,389 --> 00:11:40,265
on teaching new math.
356
00:11:40,265 --> 00:11:42,641
[ Applause ]
357
00:11:43,641 --> 00:11:45,517
Thank you.
358
00:11:45,517 --> 00:11:47,142
Esteemed colleagues,
359
00:11:47,142 --> 00:11:49,394
I've decided to go in
a different direction.
360
00:11:49,394 --> 00:11:52,771
Math hasn't changed, but
what has changed, however,
361
00:11:52,770 --> 00:11:57,315
is the viscosity of child
and adolescent rheum.
362
00:11:57,314 --> 00:11:59,190
[ Staff murmuring ]
363
00:11:59,190 --> 00:12:00,274
Boogers!
364
00:12:00,274 --> 00:12:01,858
Staff: Ohhh!
365
00:12:01,859 --> 00:12:05,278
Now, I know it might seem weird,
but the consistency is changing,
366
00:12:05,277 --> 00:12:07,653
and it is alarming.
367
00:12:07,653 --> 00:12:08,820
[ Whispering ] Where's Gregory?
368
00:12:08,820 --> 00:12:10,529
He just texted and
said he's in traffic
369
00:12:10,529 --> 00:12:11,363
because of road closures.
370
00:12:11,364 --> 00:12:13,072
Damn golf course!
371
00:12:13,072 --> 00:12:15,073
Jacob, I don't know
my presentation, okay?
372
00:12:15,073 --> 00:12:16,615
If I don't do my presentation,
373
00:12:16,615 --> 00:12:17,866
the kids don't go
to the aquarium.
374
00:12:17,866 --> 00:12:19,533
If the kids don't
go to the aquarium,
375
00:12:19,534 --> 00:12:21,326
they fail the SATs.
376
00:12:21,326 --> 00:12:23,995
Just breathe. Barbara's still
talking boogers. You got time.
377
00:12:23,994 --> 00:12:25,995
In conclusion... Damn it.
378
00:12:25,995 --> 00:12:28,538
I'm suggesting that
we get our milk tested
379
00:12:28,538 --> 00:12:30,581
and our glue tested too.
380
00:12:30,581 --> 00:12:32,748
[ Applause ]
381
00:12:32,748 --> 00:12:34,958
Thank you, Barb.
Janine, your turn.
382
00:12:34,958 --> 00:12:36,500
What? Come on, pipsqueak.
383
00:12:36,500 --> 00:12:37,584
Let's get this over with.
384
00:12:37,584 --> 00:12:38,667
Hmm.
385
00:12:38,668 --> 00:12:41,045
Okay. Alright.
386
00:12:44,129 --> 00:12:46,046
Let's give it up
for Barb, right?
387
00:12:46,046 --> 00:12:48,464
We did that already. Yeah,
yeah. Give it up for Barb.
388
00:12:48,464 --> 00:12:50,132
[ Scattered applause ]
389
00:12:50,132 --> 00:12:51,966
Alright. Hey, give
it up for yourselves.
390
00:12:51,966 --> 00:12:53,425
Janine!
391
00:12:53,425 --> 00:12:54,758
Okay, okay, okay.
392
00:12:54,759 --> 00:12:58,345
So, uh, my school-year
goal for 2024
393
00:12:58,344 --> 00:13:00,095
is to take us all
394
00:13:00,095 --> 00:13:02,388
to a field trip to the
Baltimore Aquarium.
395
00:13:02,388 --> 00:13:04,097
[ Staff exclaim ] Yes, yes.
396
00:13:04,097 --> 00:13:05,389
But before I get into it,
397
00:13:05,389 --> 00:13:08,558
I think we should
ask ourselves...
398
00:13:08,558 --> 00:13:12,561
What is an aquarium, really,
when you think about it?
399
00:13:12,560 --> 00:13:14,769
And who's really in the tank?
400
00:13:14,769 --> 00:13:17,354
Is it the fish, or is it us?
401
00:13:17,353 --> 00:13:18,313
[ Snapping ]
402
00:13:18,314 --> 00:13:19,314
Oh, thank God.
403
00:13:19,314 --> 00:13:20,479
Hey.
404
00:13:20,480 --> 00:13:21,480
It was in your kitchen.
405
00:13:21,480 --> 00:13:22,480
[ Chuckles ]
406
00:13:23,481 --> 00:13:24,857
Set.
407
00:13:24,858 --> 00:13:27,067
The Playskool one... Yeah.
408
00:13:27,066 --> 00:13:28,984
in your classroom
for the kids. Yes, yes.
409
00:13:28,984 --> 00:13:31,027
Why are you all
sweaty? [ Staff murmurs ]
410
00:13:31,027 --> 00:13:32,611
Uh, because I keep the
temperature in my classroom
411
00:13:32,612 --> 00:13:33,904
very warm, to sweat. Mm-hmm.
412
00:13:33,904 --> 00:13:35,112
You better turn it down!
413
00:13:35,112 --> 00:13:36,237
I will.
414
00:13:36,238 --> 00:13:37,318
Whose keys are you holding?
415
00:13:39,239 --> 00:13:42,366
Mine. So those keychains
are your keychains?
416
00:13:42,366 --> 00:13:43,451
You like Cinderella?
417
00:13:44,326 --> 00:13:45,743
[ Staff "Ooh" s ]
418
00:13:45,743 --> 00:13:46,951
I like what she represents.
419
00:13:46,951 --> 00:13:49,369
How about that one
that says J-A-N-I-N-E?
420
00:13:49,369 --> 00:13:50,578
Ava: Yeah, Gregory.
421
00:13:50,579 --> 00:13:52,830
Probably best for you
and anyone else involved
422
00:13:52,829 --> 00:13:55,748
if you tell all of us why.
423
00:13:55,748 --> 00:13:56,748
Warren: Hmm.
424
00:13:58,582 --> 00:14:00,416
[ Sighs ]
425
00:14:00,417 --> 00:14:02,668
What?! Gregory!
426
00:14:02,667 --> 00:14:05,252
Oh, my God, you must
have grabbed my house keys
427
00:14:05,252 --> 00:14:07,962
when I left them in the
teachers' lounge, so...
428
00:14:07,962 --> 00:14:11,048
And that would be why
my car didn't start. Yes.
429
00:14:11,047 --> 00:14:12,464
Why'd you go to your car? Yeah.
430
00:14:12,464 --> 00:14:13,714
Janine: Jacob!
431
00:14:13,715 --> 00:14:15,799
Um, he went to his car
432
00:14:15,799 --> 00:14:18,301
because he left
his keys in there.
433
00:14:18,301 --> 00:14:20,385
So how did he get in his car?
434
00:14:20,384 --> 00:14:21,760
Shut up. Give it up.
435
00:14:21,761 --> 00:14:23,845
I saw you two leave the
other day in the same car.
436
00:14:23,845 --> 00:14:24,596
[ Staff "Ooh" s ]
Well, y-you know, I...
437
00:14:24,596 --> 00:14:26,137
He was giving me a lift.
438
00:14:26,138 --> 00:14:27,305
Mm-hmm. That's all.
439
00:14:27,305 --> 00:14:29,431
Then you came back
the next day together.
440
00:14:29,431 --> 00:14:32,391
Well, that's because I-I saw
him walking and picked him up.
441
00:14:32,390 --> 00:14:33,474
Then why did I see
him take a duffel bag
442
00:14:33,475 --> 00:14:35,142
out of your trunk?
443
00:14:35,142 --> 00:14:36,517
Okay. I take duffel bags with
me everywhere all the time.
444
00:14:36,517 --> 00:14:38,352
Of course you do.
445
00:14:38,352 --> 00:14:40,102
Because everyone here knows
446
00:14:40,102 --> 00:14:41,144
that you two...
447
00:14:41,145 --> 00:14:42,562
[ Staff murmuring ]
448
00:14:42,562 --> 00:14:44,355
use the duffel bags
449
00:14:44,355 --> 00:14:46,356
to carry around the
drugs you're selling.
450
00:14:46,356 --> 00:14:47,439
'Cause you're selling drugs!
451
00:14:47,440 --> 00:14:49,107
Doing what?! No, no, no!
452
00:14:49,107 --> 00:14:50,691
We are not selling
drugs. We're having sex.
453
00:14:50,691 --> 00:14:53,193
Jacob: Yes! [ Staff exclaiming ]
454
00:14:53,193 --> 00:14:54,943
Mr. Johnson: This is
worse than I thought.
455
00:14:54,943 --> 00:14:57,487
What people won't do
for money. Mm, mm, mm.
456
00:14:57,487 --> 00:14:59,196
Man: Lord have mercy. Thanks.
457
00:14:59,196 --> 00:15:00,614
This is a damn shame.
458
00:15:02,864 --> 00:15:05,949
Janine: Maybe they didn't catch
on. No, no, cat's out the bag.
459
00:15:05,948 --> 00:15:08,784
Right. But what if we coax
the cat back into the bag?
460
00:15:08,784 --> 00:15:09,992
Because we can
call another meeting
461
00:15:09,992 --> 00:15:12,078
and tell everyone that
it was a prank, right?
462
00:15:13,328 --> 00:15:15,537
Janine, I-I've been
trying not to worry,
463
00:15:15,537 --> 00:15:17,581
but... should I be worried?
464
00:15:18,830 --> 00:15:22,416
Are you not... into this, or...?
465
00:15:22,415 --> 00:15:23,750
Gregory, are you crazy?
466
00:15:25,250 --> 00:15:26,168
Of course I'm into it. What?
467
00:15:26,168 --> 00:15:27,751
Well, then, what's going on?
468
00:15:27,751 --> 00:15:28,918
I mean, I get wanting
to keep people
469
00:15:28,919 --> 00:15:30,836
out of our business,
which we can do,
470
00:15:30,836 --> 00:15:32,879
but I think everyone's
rooting for us.
471
00:15:32,879 --> 00:15:34,088
And I'm not afraid of
HR, if that's what the...
472
00:15:34,088 --> 00:15:35,880
But maybe I am.
473
00:15:35,880 --> 00:15:37,047
[ Sighs ]
474
00:15:37,048 --> 00:15:38,799
Look. Okay.
475
00:15:38,799 --> 00:15:42,052
The last time I made
something "official"...
476
00:15:43,884 --> 00:15:45,219
it didn't work out.
477
00:15:47,928 --> 00:15:49,137
And I...
478
00:15:51,304 --> 00:15:55,475
I really, really, really,
really want this to work out.
479
00:15:57,724 --> 00:15:59,142
So, I guess I'm a little scared.
480
00:16:01,226 --> 00:16:02,727
[ Exhales deeply ]
481
00:16:03,769 --> 00:16:05,521
But we're not your last time.
482
00:16:07,270 --> 00:16:08,855
We're this time.
483
00:16:15,233 --> 00:16:16,651
Hey. Oh, yeah.
484
00:16:18,360 --> 00:16:19,735
[ Exhales sharply ]
485
00:16:19,735 --> 00:16:21,444
Let's tell the freaking world.
486
00:16:21,444 --> 00:16:22,653
I'm ready. [ Laughs ]
487
00:16:22,654 --> 00:16:23,821
Okay. Okay?
488
00:16:23,821 --> 00:16:25,321
Well, you just did... Yeah.
489
00:16:25,321 --> 00:16:26,613
when you told
everybody that we had sex.
490
00:16:26,614 --> 00:16:28,073
Right. They know. Yeah.
491
00:16:28,073 --> 00:16:29,657
But, um, yeah.
Let's make it official.
492
00:16:29,657 --> 00:16:30,616
Let's make it official.
Let's make it official.
493
00:16:30,617 --> 00:16:32,033
Okay. Right, but, okay.
494
00:16:32,033 --> 00:16:34,118
Real quick... This time,
let's keep the sex part out.
495
00:16:34,118 --> 00:16:35,743
Just take the sex out.
Don't need to say that.
496
00:16:35,743 --> 00:16:37,244
We don't need it. We
don't need it. Don't say sex.
497
00:16:37,244 --> 00:16:39,662
Don't say sex, don't say sex,
don't say sex, don't say sex.
498
00:16:39,662 --> 00:16:40,829
You could stop
saying it right now.
499
00:16:40,829 --> 00:16:42,413
You're saying sex
walking into a school.
500
00:16:42,414 --> 00:16:43,914
Yeah. Not the best... You know?
501
00:16:43,914 --> 00:16:46,582
So he checked me out,
but he took like a half hour.
502
00:16:46,581 --> 00:16:47,998
Would you please just sign out?
503
00:16:47,999 --> 00:16:50,460
Hi, there. I'm Miles Nathaniel.
504
00:16:51,459 --> 00:16:53,210
What are you, a Mormon?
505
00:16:53,210 --> 00:16:54,419
Look at this guy.
506
00:16:54,420 --> 00:16:56,087
Yeah. We're not
interested. Get lost, pal.
507
00:16:56,087 --> 00:16:57,963
Yes, I'm saved.
Thank you very much.
508
00:16:57,963 --> 00:16:59,130
And God bless you.
509
00:16:59,130 --> 00:17:00,714
Oh, no. I'm an attorney
with the fine folks
510
00:17:00,714 --> 00:17:02,214
over at Girard Creek Golf Club.
511
00:17:02,215 --> 00:17:04,216
I was just perusing
the neighborhood.
512
00:17:04,216 --> 00:17:05,717
Thought I'd pop in and say hi,
513
00:17:05,717 --> 00:17:06,676
seeing as how we're
going to be neighbors.
514
00:17:06,676 --> 00:17:08,134
Oh, I know what this is about.
515
00:17:08,135 --> 00:17:09,260
We call the city,
516
00:17:09,260 --> 00:17:10,760
and now you want
to dance, pretty boy?
517
00:17:10,760 --> 00:17:12,052
And I mean that as a compliment.
518
00:17:12,053 --> 00:17:14,596
Your skin is fantastic.
You must be so rich.
519
00:17:14,595 --> 00:17:16,179
Yeah. So you heard that we heard
520
00:17:16,180 --> 00:17:18,640
that you're over there
using non-union workers,
521
00:17:18,639 --> 00:17:20,557
and now you want
to do damage control.
522
00:17:20,557 --> 00:17:22,099
Your little construction
project has put
523
00:17:22,100 --> 00:17:23,684
quite a strain on our lives.
524
00:17:23,684 --> 00:17:25,393
We got a white child now.
525
00:17:25,393 --> 00:17:27,853
You want to get his
parents involved?
526
00:17:27,853 --> 00:17:29,687
Well, first of all,
allow me to apologize
527
00:17:29,687 --> 00:17:32,022
for any inconveniences
we may have caused.
528
00:17:32,021 --> 00:17:34,230
That's the opposite
of what we intend to do
529
00:17:34,230 --> 00:17:35,355
for our community.
530
00:17:35,356 --> 00:17:37,482
We really believe the
golf course can add
531
00:17:37,482 --> 00:17:38,733
a lot of value here.
532
00:17:38,733 --> 00:17:40,191
And what value would that be?
533
00:17:40,191 --> 00:17:42,026
Well, property
value, for one thing.
534
00:17:42,026 --> 00:17:44,110
That will go up, way up.
535
00:17:44,110 --> 00:17:45,485
So, if you're a homeowner,
536
00:17:45,486 --> 00:17:47,154
perhaps one
who's looking to sell
537
00:17:47,154 --> 00:17:49,947
and retire to, say,
a-a tropical island...
538
00:17:49,946 --> 00:17:51,613
Or Arizona.
539
00:17:51,614 --> 00:17:53,365
I'm... I'm partial to
the desert myself.
540
00:17:53,365 --> 00:17:55,158
Yeah, well, that's
gonna feel real good
541
00:17:55,158 --> 00:17:57,451
to the union workers
not getting paid.
542
00:17:57,451 --> 00:17:59,326
Please, uh, forgive
us for that oversight.
543
00:17:59,326 --> 00:18:00,785
We're amending that as we speak.
544
00:18:00,785 --> 00:18:02,828
We will be fully
unionized by Monday.
545
00:18:02,828 --> 00:18:04,787
We would be
unionized by Saturday,
546
00:18:04,787 --> 00:18:07,164
but, you know, unions.
547
00:18:07,164 --> 00:18:09,915
Uh, look, I know how hard it
can be to work with the city,
548
00:18:09,914 --> 00:18:12,791
so if you have any
future problems...
549
00:18:12,791 --> 00:18:14,250
Oh.
550
00:18:14,250 --> 00:18:15,334
What's that?
551
00:18:16,585 --> 00:18:17,960
That's a $500 gift card.
552
00:18:17,960 --> 00:18:19,127
Mm.
553
00:18:19,128 --> 00:18:20,670
I would have settled for $250,
554
00:18:20,670 --> 00:18:21,879
but this is classy.
555
00:18:21,879 --> 00:18:23,045
Barb, you can have half.
556
00:18:23,046 --> 00:18:24,464
Mm. But what about me?
557
00:18:24,464 --> 00:18:27,466
No, we are not on
your team, okay?
558
00:18:27,465 --> 00:18:29,215
Golf doesn't even have teams.
559
00:18:29,216 --> 00:18:30,341
Sorry to interrupt.
560
00:18:30,341 --> 00:18:32,301
I-I just remembered, we
have 15 new computers
561
00:18:32,301 --> 00:18:33,718
that we're looking to donate.
562
00:18:33,718 --> 00:18:36,219
Do you guys know anywhere
that could use them?
563
00:18:36,219 --> 00:18:38,262
Well, we could
we could use...
564
00:18:38,262 --> 00:18:39,512
No, wait.
565
00:18:39,512 --> 00:18:40,721
You know what? Let's make it 20.
566
00:18:40,722 --> 00:18:42,806
I think I saw a few extra
lying around the office.
567
00:18:42,806 --> 00:18:44,849
Look, the golf course
is going to happen
568
00:18:44,849 --> 00:18:46,016
no matter what.
569
00:18:46,016 --> 00:18:48,809
It can happen with
computers or without them.
570
00:18:48,809 --> 00:18:50,518
Go ahead and shake
the man's hand, Jacob,
571
00:18:50,518 --> 00:18:52,978
and recognize a blessing
when you see one.
572
00:18:52,978 --> 00:18:55,521
Unh-unh, unh-unh, unh-unh,
unh-unh, unh-unh, unh-unh.
573
00:18:55,520 --> 00:18:59,273
How about 25 computers and
you quit messing with the water?
574
00:18:59,272 --> 00:19:01,273
Can't promise that, but...
575
00:19:01,273 --> 00:19:03,192
I can throw in an
ergonomic chair or two.
576
00:19:05,525 --> 00:19:06,984
Oh! What y'all doing out there?
577
00:19:06,984 --> 00:19:08,610
Taking bribes.
578
00:19:08,611 --> 00:19:09,694
Alright.
579
00:19:09,694 --> 00:19:11,236
Just don't let Warren see.
580
00:19:11,236 --> 00:19:13,070
And get me something, too.
581
00:19:13,070 --> 00:19:14,280
Proud of y'all.
582
00:19:16,448 --> 00:19:17,990
So you're saying I
can't sell the jewelry
583
00:19:17,990 --> 00:19:19,365
that the kids make on Etsy?
584
00:19:19,365 --> 00:19:20,783
No, I'm saying it's illegal.
585
00:19:20,783 --> 00:19:22,116
Child labor laws.
586
00:19:22,117 --> 00:19:24,452
But is it really work if
they love what they do?
587
00:19:24,452 --> 00:19:25,452
[ Footsteps approaching ]
588
00:19:25,452 --> 00:19:26,660
[ Sighs ]
589
00:19:26,660 --> 00:19:27,744
Oh.
590
00:19:27,745 --> 00:19:28,829
Please have a seat.
591
00:19:30,746 --> 00:19:32,121
Okay, um,
592
00:19:32,122 --> 00:19:33,581
I guess I'll just jump right in.
593
00:19:33,581 --> 00:19:36,750
So, it all started when Gregory
594
00:19:36,749 --> 00:19:38,875
first got to the school
and I gave him a tour.
595
00:19:38,875 --> 00:19:40,417
Um, I thought,
596
00:19:40,418 --> 00:19:43,086
"This is somebody
I could get to know."
597
00:19:43,085 --> 00:19:46,421
And then I thought, "Maybe
a friendship with this guy."
598
00:19:46,420 --> 00:19:49,589
And then I thought,
"He's kind of cute,
599
00:19:49,589 --> 00:19:51,632
but he's my colleague."
600
00:19:51,632 --> 00:19:52,965
So, you know, at this point,
601
00:19:52,965 --> 00:19:55,008
you would think I would
go forward in the story,
602
00:19:55,008 --> 00:19:57,760
but I actually probably
need to go back a few years,
603
00:19:57,760 --> 00:20:01,095
um, to 11th grade,
when I finally hit puberty.
604
00:20:01,094 --> 00:20:02,095
Warren: Hm!
605
00:20:02,096 --> 00:20:04,180
What is your
relationship status?
606
00:20:04,180 --> 00:20:05,473
Uh...
607
00:20:06,639 --> 00:20:07,973
He's my boyfriend.
608
00:20:09,974 --> 00:20:11,308
And she's my girlfriend.
609
00:20:11,308 --> 00:20:12,392
Great. All done.
610
00:20:13,810 --> 00:20:14,893
That's it?
611
00:20:14,893 --> 00:20:16,060
Ava: That's it.
612
00:20:16,061 --> 00:20:17,394
I mean, there's no
power imbalance here,
613
00:20:17,394 --> 00:20:18,645
so it's super easy.
614
00:20:18,645 --> 00:20:19,978
I just needed to record it.
615
00:20:19,979 --> 00:20:21,648
Good luck to the both of you.
616
00:20:22,730 --> 00:20:24,397
Hopefully she doesn't leave
you like she left the district.
617
00:20:24,397 --> 00:20:26,482
[ Chuckles ] Uh-huh.
618
00:20:26,482 --> 00:20:29,359
I'm happy for y'all. Truly.
619
00:20:29,359 --> 00:20:31,151
I just wanted you guys
to be smart about this.
620
00:20:31,151 --> 00:20:32,568
But, now you're both safe,
621
00:20:32,568 --> 00:20:34,611
and more importantly, so am I.
622
00:20:34,611 --> 00:20:35,945
Thank you, Ava. Thanks, Ava.
623
00:20:35,945 --> 00:20:37,362
You're welcome.
624
00:20:37,363 --> 00:20:38,738
Gregory...
625
00:20:38,738 --> 00:20:40,989
our situationship is over.
626
00:20:40,989 --> 00:20:42,740
Why... Just let her have it.
627
00:20:42,740 --> 00:20:44,742
Yeah. Okay.
628
00:20:46,117 --> 00:20:47,117
[ Whispers ] Let's go.
629
00:20:49,327 --> 00:20:51,620
So, in conclusion, and
as you can clearly see,
630
00:20:51,620 --> 00:20:52,954
he's a scumbag.
631
00:20:52,954 --> 00:20:54,871
That has to be an HR violation.
632
00:20:54,871 --> 00:20:56,413
Well, there's worse things
I could call you, buddy.
633
00:20:56,413 --> 00:20:58,081
You two just need to grow up.
634
00:20:58,081 --> 00:20:59,581
You can leave now.
635
00:20:59,581 --> 00:21:01,666
[ Sighs ]
636
00:21:01,666 --> 00:21:03,250
Next.
637
00:21:03,251 --> 00:21:05,877
Okay. I don't even
know why I'm here.
638
00:21:05,876 --> 00:21:07,210
Oh, she knows why we're here.
639
00:21:07,211 --> 00:21:08,462
This is an open-and-shut case.
640
00:21:12,296 --> 00:21:14,798
These are all the
takeout menus I gave you.
641
00:21:14,798 --> 00:21:16,215
Uh-huh.
642
00:21:16,215 --> 00:21:17,757
And those were suggestions
that we should go out to dinner.
643
00:21:17,757 --> 00:21:20,300
[ Scoffs ] I can read between
the lines. You're sick.
644
00:21:20,300 --> 00:21:23,053
Write that down.
Yeah, on it.
645
00:21:23,103 --> 00:21:27,653
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