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ALMA NARRATING:
Since Granny Alice's death,
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00:00:03,840 --> 00:00:05,840
I've been thinking a lot
about family.
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00:00:07,280 --> 00:00:09,360
Families can accidentally
leave things unresolved
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00:00:09,360 --> 00:00:10,960
for a whole lifetime.
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00:00:12,640 --> 00:00:14,360
I don't want to do that.
6
00:00:21,120 --> 00:00:22,760
I want to know where my dad is.
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00:00:24,320 --> 00:00:28,280
My dad left when I was a baby to go
cold turkey and become a rock star.
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I had no idea who he was.
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00:00:32,400 --> 00:00:35,040
Grandma, what was my dad like?
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00:00:35,040 --> 00:00:37,920
Erm...well, from what your mum said,
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00:00:37,920 --> 00:00:42,400
he was tall, thin
and walked like a moody gorilla.
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00:00:43,600 --> 00:00:45,280
ALMA NARRATING: Not much to go on.
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00:00:45,280 --> 00:00:48,440
So I looked at the black and white
movies that me and Grandma loved.
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00:00:48,440 --> 00:00:50,800
I imagined he was James Dean,
15
00:00:50,800 --> 00:00:52,960
Humphrey Bogart, Cary Grant.
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00:00:52,960 --> 00:00:54,920
I imagined our first meeting...
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00:00:56,840 --> 00:00:58,200
Hello, Father.
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00:00:58,200 --> 00:00:59,240
Dear child.
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00:00:59,240 --> 00:01:01,120
DRAMATIC MUSIC
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00:01:02,480 --> 00:01:04,840
Then, through some detective work,
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00:01:04,840 --> 00:01:07,840
I found out where my dad's dad lived
and paid him a visit.
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Hello. I'm Alma, your granddaughter.
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00:01:11,360 --> 00:01:13,440
It didn't go great.
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00:01:14,720 --> 00:01:15,800
Come on.
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00:01:17,360 --> 00:01:21,240
ALMA NARRATING: Two decades later,
and I'm not taking no for an answer.
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00:01:22,280 --> 00:01:25,200
Er, no, not this time!
Give him this letter.
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00:01:31,400 --> 00:01:34,640
Welcome to the stage...Alma Nuthall!
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00:01:34,640 --> 00:01:36,720
IMITATES CROWD GOING WILD
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00:01:36,720 --> 00:01:38,360
Hello, Wembley!
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00:01:40,480 --> 00:01:44,160
Er...I come from a long line
of eccentric female Boltonians.
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00:01:44,160 --> 00:01:45,360
LETTERBOX FLAP JUDDERS
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One in six of us believe
we've been abducted by aliens.
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00:01:47,880 --> 00:01:50,280
One in three of us
believe we ARE an alien...
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00:01:50,280 --> 00:01:52,000
and these are the sane ones!
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00:01:53,120 --> 00:01:55,480
The only way to describe the rest -
take a...
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00:01:59,560 --> 00:02:01,360
And as you breathe out,
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00:02:01,360 --> 00:02:05,720
I would like you to visualise
someone that has wronged you.
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00:02:05,720 --> 00:02:08,400
And as you breathe in, I would
like you to think of a way
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00:02:08,400 --> 00:02:12,160
that you could get revenge
on that person.
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00:02:12,160 --> 00:02:14,280
INHALING DEEPLY
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00:02:14,280 --> 00:02:16,520
Leanne! Leanne!
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00:02:18,320 --> 00:02:21,400
It's my dad... Ooh.
..he's replied!
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00:02:21,400 --> 00:02:25,080
It is important we try to block out
external noise.
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00:02:25,080 --> 00:02:28,400
Let us all focus
on the healing concept of revenge
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00:02:28,400 --> 00:02:30,640
whilst I chat with me mate.
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00:02:30,640 --> 00:02:32,800
Holy shit! Tell me everything.
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00:02:32,800 --> 00:02:34,280
Namaste.
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00:02:34,280 --> 00:02:36,240
He's written to me.
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00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:39,760
"Dear Alma, I want to start
by saying how sorry I am.
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00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:43,440
"I was young and just had to get
out of that town and start again."
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00:02:43,440 --> 00:02:44,920
Feels reasonable.
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00:02:44,920 --> 00:02:46,840
"I'm a musician in London now."
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Creative - like me.
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00:02:48,200 --> 00:02:50,800
"I'm married
and I work as a teacher."
55
00:02:50,800 --> 00:02:53,560
He wants to come to Bolton,
and meet me next week.
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00:02:53,560 --> 00:02:55,560
Holy fuck! That's intense.
57
00:02:55,560 --> 00:02:58,720
I know! But it's great, int'it?
But where do I go with him?
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00:02:58,720 --> 00:03:02,120
Do I go for a coffee? A meal?
A beer? I don't know!
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00:03:02,120 --> 00:03:03,640
And what do I wear? Do you know,
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00:03:03,640 --> 00:03:05,880
I mean, what do you wear
to meet your long-lost father?
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00:03:05,880 --> 00:03:08,520
Obviously I want him to think
I'm a beautiful woman of the world
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00:03:08,520 --> 00:03:10,920
but not so beautiful
he sort of wants to fuck me,
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00:03:10,920 --> 00:03:13,680
do you know what I mean?
Bloody hell! Ugh.
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00:03:13,680 --> 00:03:15,040
Have you not read Take A Break,
Bill?
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00:03:16,040 --> 00:03:17,600
ALMA SQUEALS WITH EXCITEMENT
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00:03:17,600 --> 00:03:18,640
Namaste.
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00:03:18,640 --> 00:03:19,880
Woo!
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00:03:29,640 --> 00:03:31,200
You look like a Mormon!
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00:03:32,840 --> 00:03:35,600
Well, I'm...I'm trying to
hide my sensuality, Leanne.
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00:03:35,600 --> 00:03:37,640
Babe. You're dressed like my nan.
OK.
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00:03:37,640 --> 00:03:40,120
So, what have your family said
about all this, then?
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00:03:40,120 --> 00:03:41,400
I've not told them.
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00:03:41,400 --> 00:03:44,520
The slight mention of my dad
and my mum goes apeshit.
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00:03:44,520 --> 00:03:45,760
THUD, CROCKERY RATTLES
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00:03:45,760 --> 00:03:47,680
He's a critter
on the arsehole of a parasite!
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00:03:47,680 --> 00:03:51,080
He is a fucking orchid sucking
the life out of all the other plants
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00:03:51,080 --> 00:03:54,560
until they're shrivelled and ugly
and knackered and dead!
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00:03:54,560 --> 00:03:56,920
He is a cunt-juggling fuck-lump!
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00:03:58,840 --> 00:04:00,760
Could we get the bill, please?
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00:04:00,760 --> 00:04:03,480
NARRATING: There was a brief period
in the '90s
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00:04:03,480 --> 00:04:06,160
when she was convinced he was
Richard Ashcroft from The Verve.
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00:04:06,160 --> 00:04:08,320
I'm telling you, it's him.
83
00:04:08,320 --> 00:04:09,640
The clues were uncanny.
84
00:04:09,640 --> 00:04:12,280
They were both called Richard,
they both lived near Wigan
85
00:04:12,280 --> 00:04:14,720
and they both went to London
to become rock stars.
86
00:04:14,720 --> 00:04:16,560
And of course they were both...
87
00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:18,600
Tall, thin,
88
00:04:18,600 --> 00:04:21,000
and walking like a moody gorilla.
89
00:04:22,080 --> 00:04:23,320
So I wrote to him.
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00:04:23,320 --> 00:04:26,200
"Dear Dad, I can't wait
to see your face again too.
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00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:28,720
"And when I do, it'll be great.
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00:04:28,720 --> 00:04:32,080
"PS. Please will you pick me up
from school in a limo?"
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00:04:32,080 --> 00:04:34,400
He never replied.
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00:04:34,400 --> 00:04:36,320
So we went to his concert,
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00:04:36,320 --> 00:04:38,120
which ended in a restraining order.
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00:04:38,120 --> 00:04:40,520
We quickly realised
he wasn't my dad
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00:04:40,520 --> 00:04:44,400
and we'd actively encouraged Mum's
latest bout of delusional psychosis.
98
00:04:44,400 --> 00:04:46,720
But, apparently,
he does look just like him.
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00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:49,960
Babe, I'd tell your nan.
You might need the support.
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00:04:51,560 --> 00:04:52,640
Too much?
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00:04:58,520 --> 00:04:59,960
Oh, Jesus!
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00:04:59,960 --> 00:05:01,200
Turn.
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00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:08,360
What the hell are you doing?
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00:05:08,360 --> 00:05:09,920
He's back!
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00:05:09,920 --> 00:05:11,320
I can see that.
106
00:05:11,320 --> 00:05:13,480
But why are you waterboarding him
on the lawn?
107
00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:14,720
He's infested.
108
00:05:14,720 --> 00:05:16,240
I had to burn his clothes.
109
00:05:16,240 --> 00:05:18,280
Scabby Joe's got lice.
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Turn.
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00:05:19,800 --> 00:05:22,760
Turn. Bend.
112
00:05:22,760 --> 00:05:25,280
Ooh, no. Oh, no. No, no.
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00:05:25,280 --> 00:05:26,720
I'm a bloody hotel.
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00:05:26,720 --> 00:05:28,120
Turn.
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00:05:28,120 --> 00:05:29,880
You're not like any hotel
I've been to.
116
00:05:29,880 --> 00:05:33,640
The lice, the drugs, the parties.
It's too much at Scabby Joe's.
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00:05:33,640 --> 00:05:35,760
Dirty bastards. How's Mum?
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00:05:35,760 --> 00:05:37,360
She's a paranoid party animal.
119
00:05:37,360 --> 00:05:38,840
Put your arm up.
120
00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:41,960
Urgh! I just need some calm.
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00:05:41,960 --> 00:05:43,520
Right. 'Ere you are.
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00:05:43,520 --> 00:05:45,720
I'm not sure you've come
to the right place for that.
123
00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:47,960
Here, get that on.
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00:05:47,960 --> 00:05:49,640
She'll be following him here.
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00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:52,000
I've told Jim he can stay,
but Lin's not allowed.
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00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:54,320
She needs to go back to hospital.
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00:05:54,320 --> 00:05:56,160
She needs her medication.
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00:05:57,320 --> 00:06:00,400
What Mum needs is what
she had before austerity -
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00:06:00,400 --> 00:06:02,360
a little flat
near her support network
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00:06:02,360 --> 00:06:04,800
with a monthly visit
from a district nurse.
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00:06:04,800 --> 00:06:06,560
But nowadays they call that...
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00:06:06,560 --> 00:06:08,480
PEOPLE MOUTHING WORDS:
"a very bespoke package,
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00:06:08,480 --> 00:06:09,720
"impossible to secure,
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00:06:09,720 --> 00:06:10,920
"in high demand,
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00:06:10,920 --> 00:06:11,960
"unattainable,
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00:06:11,960 --> 00:06:13,000
"unrealistic,
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00:06:13,000 --> 00:06:14,160
"gold dust."
138
00:06:14,160 --> 00:06:17,120
So she's been left to yo-yo
between this mad place...
139
00:06:17,120 --> 00:06:19,120
..and this one.
140
00:06:19,120 --> 00:06:20,720
Can't have that! Health and safety!
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00:06:20,720 --> 00:06:22,000
DOOR SLAMS
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00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:24,120
Neither are good
for her mental health.
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00:06:24,120 --> 00:06:26,200
And with no access to her bennies,
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00:06:26,200 --> 00:06:28,880
she's found some alternative
income streams again.
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00:06:28,880 --> 00:06:31,440
Just get all the best stuff.
146
00:06:31,440 --> 00:06:34,120
Shit! Pretend we're not 'ere.
Freeze!
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00:06:37,720 --> 00:06:39,200
Who the fuck are you?
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00:06:40,960 --> 00:06:42,240
I'm calling the police.
149
00:06:42,240 --> 00:06:43,280
Leg it!
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00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:48,720
You! Mum!
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00:06:48,720 --> 00:06:51,560
I knew I'd find you 'ere,
with the dragon.
152
00:06:51,560 --> 00:06:54,480
Oh, no! No, no, I'm not
having another showdown. No way.
153
00:06:54,480 --> 00:06:59,000
Grandma! Jim, if you're coming,
get in the house now. Right?
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00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:01,720
I'm really sorry.
I just need a day.
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00:07:02,960 --> 00:07:04,800
Fine!
156
00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:06,040
Fucking fine!
157
00:07:07,480 --> 00:07:09,960
It's all right, Mum.
Look, we'll go and talk to 'em.
158
00:07:09,960 --> 00:07:11,640
We'll calm it down. Just stay calm.
159
00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:15,600
We'll talk it through... Yes?
..like calm, rational adults. Right.
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00:07:15,600 --> 00:07:16,760
No shouting. All right.
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00:07:16,760 --> 00:07:17,920
TAPPING AT WINDOW
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We're not available.
Eh?
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00:07:21,360 --> 00:07:23,160
We're not available.
164
00:07:23,160 --> 00:07:26,040
I just need to talk to Jim.
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00:07:26,040 --> 00:07:27,240
Go on. Hurry up.
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00:07:27,240 --> 00:07:28,960
Jim, I need to sell some art
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00:07:28,960 --> 00:07:31,600
and then we can buy
that caravan in Rhyl.
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00:07:31,600 --> 00:07:34,040
I know, Lin, but
it's been mad at Scabby Joe's...
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00:07:34,040 --> 00:07:36,840
Right, that's enough.
Away from the window, Jim! Come on.
170
00:07:36,840 --> 00:07:40,440
Shoo, shoo-shoo. Get out. Go on.
Go on. I'm closing my hatch now.
171
00:07:40,440 --> 00:07:43,040
It's not a hatch, Grandma, is it?
It's a window.
172
00:07:43,040 --> 00:07:45,920
Can...can I come and live back here,
Mum, please!
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00:07:45,920 --> 00:07:48,560
No! Absolutely not.
Alma, are you coming in?
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00:07:48,560 --> 00:07:50,200
I'm not just going to leave my mum
here, am I?
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00:07:50,200 --> 00:07:52,640
Fine. I'm closing my hatch now.
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00:07:52,640 --> 00:07:54,680
Oh, it's not a hatch,
it's a windo...
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00:07:56,040 --> 00:07:57,760
Alma, you're going to
have to help me
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00:07:57,760 --> 00:08:00,960
being as I've been abandoned
by my own mother!
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00:08:00,960 --> 00:08:04,200
Don't you dare! I've done nothing
but support you over the years,
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00:08:04,200 --> 00:08:06,880
and all you ever do is let me down.
I'm closing my hatch!
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00:08:06,880 --> 00:08:08,800
BOTH: It's a window!
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00:08:10,800 --> 00:08:13,120
Can I come and sell my art
at Leanne's?
183
00:08:13,120 --> 00:08:16,440
Er...I'll ask her. Yeah, maybe.
184
00:08:16,440 --> 00:08:18,640
Do you want to buy some art now?
185
00:08:18,640 --> 00:08:20,280
Not really now, Mum, no.
186
00:08:20,280 --> 00:08:22,240
800 quid.
187
00:08:22,240 --> 00:08:24,640
I've got 20?
Done.
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00:08:25,800 --> 00:08:27,200
Smashing.
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00:08:27,200 --> 00:08:31,480
MUSIC: Make U Mine
by Beasts With No Name
190
00:08:38,640 --> 00:08:41,640
We're open in an hour, Bill.
We've got a new menu tonight.
191
00:08:41,640 --> 00:08:44,000
No time for experimenting
with sumac.
192
00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:46,000
Yes, Chef.
193
00:08:46,000 --> 00:08:47,720
Ooh! My dad's coming tomorrow!
194
00:08:47,720 --> 00:08:50,200
I've been imagining this meeting
my whole life -
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00:08:50,200 --> 00:08:52,920
always in the style of
a black and white movie.
196
00:08:55,680 --> 00:08:57,160
I'd be a waitress.
197
00:09:02,880 --> 00:09:06,400
He'd come in the restaurant where
I worked with a group of mates,
198
00:09:06,400 --> 00:09:09,280
and they'd just fall in love
with me at the table.
199
00:09:09,280 --> 00:09:13,040
You know - my charm, wit, charisma.
200
00:09:13,040 --> 00:09:17,360
He'd say, "You're fantastic.
What's your name?"
201
00:09:17,360 --> 00:09:20,680
I'd say, "Alma...Nuthall."
202
00:09:20,680 --> 00:09:23,600
Then trot off dead sophisticatedly.
203
00:09:23,600 --> 00:09:26,800
He'd say, "That...that's
my daughter!"
204
00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:28,480
and come running after me.
205
00:09:28,480 --> 00:09:31,040
He'd grab hold of my hand
and he'd say,
206
00:09:31,040 --> 00:09:33,600
"My child!
Where have you been all my life?
207
00:09:33,600 --> 00:09:38,360
"You're the most amazing waitress
I've ever met!" And I'd say...
208
00:09:38,360 --> 00:09:39,920
Get off! My God!
209
00:09:39,920 --> 00:09:43,600
I'm trying to saute my matsutake
mushrooms. Give that 'ere.
210
00:09:43,600 --> 00:09:46,160
Sorry, Bill.
It's like being with a fantasist.
211
00:09:46,160 --> 00:09:48,360
Ooh. Another one.
212
00:09:48,360 --> 00:09:49,960
Fuck's sake!
213
00:09:51,280 --> 00:09:52,680
He's dead.
214
00:09:52,680 --> 00:09:54,920
He's made it as a famous rock star
215
00:09:54,920 --> 00:09:58,760
but he dies suddenly
in the height of fame!
216
00:09:58,760 --> 00:10:00,480
I try and fade into the background
217
00:10:00,480 --> 00:10:03,080
and not draw too much attention
to myself,
218
00:10:03,080 --> 00:10:05,240
but star quality has its way.
219
00:10:05,240 --> 00:10:08,880
And, just as they lower the coffin,
I put my hand on my heart.
220
00:10:10,280 --> 00:10:13,200
And at that moment, a paparazzi
shoots me, don't they?
221
00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:14,600
It's all over the papers.
222
00:10:14,600 --> 00:10:18,200
"Who is that gorgeous
mystery woman?"
223
00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:20,920
It's Alma, the daughter
he was forced to abandon
224
00:10:20,920 --> 00:10:23,200
but always loved and deeply missed.
225
00:10:23,200 --> 00:10:24,840
That's a good one.
Yeah. Ooh...
226
00:10:26,480 --> 00:10:27,680
My favourite...
227
00:10:29,440 --> 00:10:30,680
I'm dead!
228
00:10:32,760 --> 00:10:35,680
It's my funeral.
I've got an open casket,
229
00:10:35,680 --> 00:10:37,880
and I'm dead but I look fantastic.
230
00:10:39,240 --> 00:10:42,200
I've died suddenly, tragically,
far too young.
231
00:10:42,200 --> 00:10:45,400
There's thousands of people
in mourning. Thousands!
232
00:10:45,400 --> 00:10:48,080
The priest is in the middle
of a beautiful sermon, when
233
00:10:48,080 --> 00:10:51,640
a rock star comes bursting through
the double doors of the chapel.
234
00:10:52,800 --> 00:10:55,720
Then he turns to the priest
and says,
235
00:10:55,720 --> 00:10:59,680
"Sorry, Father, I have sinned.
Please forgive me."
236
00:11:01,840 --> 00:11:03,160
The priest doesn't forgive him.
237
00:11:03,160 --> 00:11:07,360
He says, "Fair enough.
Please can I sing her a song, then?"
238
00:11:09,320 --> 00:11:11,120
The priest says, "All right, then."
239
00:11:11,120 --> 00:11:13,280
And he sings
the most beautiful song.
240
00:11:14,920 --> 00:11:16,800
SOUND MUTED
241
00:11:16,800 --> 00:11:18,080
Everybody cries.
242
00:11:20,400 --> 00:11:23,560
Alma, get off the bloody table,
please!
243
00:11:23,560 --> 00:11:26,320
How many times have I told you
to get off the bloody furniture?
244
00:11:28,200 --> 00:11:30,840
Ooh, it's going to be great
tomorrow, in't it?
245
00:11:30,840 --> 00:11:33,640
I just need to be cool, calm,
confident, collected.
246
00:11:33,640 --> 00:11:36,200
PHONE DIALS OUT
247
00:11:39,080 --> 00:11:40,840
Word? Hiya, Leanne!
248
00:11:40,840 --> 00:11:43,920
Erm, I'm about to meet my dad
in half an hour
249
00:11:43,920 --> 00:11:46,520
but I seem to be stuck
in the foetal position again.
250
00:11:46,520 --> 00:11:48,880
OK, babe. Well, don't think
about meeting your dad.
251
00:11:48,880 --> 00:11:51,840
Think about getting up
off the floor. Baby steps.
252
00:11:51,840 --> 00:11:55,960
Right, OK. Erm, so I...I...I'm
just going to swivel to seating.
253
00:11:55,960 --> 00:11:58,800
Yeah. Perfect.
Very casual.
254
00:11:58,800 --> 00:12:02,320
Just a very calm,
casual seating swivel.
255
00:12:02,320 --> 00:12:06,520
I-I-I'm not ready actually to stand
up yet, so I'm just going to...
256
00:12:06,520 --> 00:12:09,400
Do you know what? I'm going to
shuffle to my ciggies. Gorgeous.
257
00:12:09,400 --> 00:12:12,440
Just a very loosey-goosey
shuffle in to her ciggies.
258
00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:14,520
Fabulous. This is fine.
259
00:12:14,520 --> 00:12:17,520
Easy-breezy, loosey-goosey...
260
00:12:17,520 --> 00:12:20,720
I'm just going to have
a quick cigarette. OK. Right.
261
00:12:22,120 --> 00:12:23,200
Relaxed.
262
00:12:32,240 --> 00:12:34,200
You're not Richard, are you?
263
00:12:35,360 --> 00:12:36,400
No. No...
264
00:12:36,400 --> 00:12:38,800
GIBBERS
I...knew, really. Too old.
265
00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:42,640
Not that that's a problem! Your age
is fabulous. It's fine for you.
266
00:12:42,640 --> 00:12:43,920
For anyone!
267
00:12:43,920 --> 00:12:46,280
I'm just waiting for somebody,
sort of...
268
00:12:46,280 --> 00:12:48,320
But I'm not on a date.
269
00:12:48,320 --> 00:12:51,040
Sort of a blind date, isn't it?
But still... Anyway...
270
00:12:52,160 --> 00:12:54,440
Urgh! Eey.
271
00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:56,400
Nice out there, eh?!
272
00:12:56,400 --> 00:12:58,640
I look like a mop.
273
00:12:58,640 --> 00:13:03,560
Well, I'll have a...large whisky...
Oh, no...
274
00:13:03,560 --> 00:13:05,680
..and a Guinness, please.
275
00:13:08,680 --> 00:13:10,360
One more, please.
276
00:13:13,560 --> 00:13:15,760
Hello.
277
00:13:15,760 --> 00:13:18,160
Alma? Yes. Fuck!
278
00:13:18,160 --> 00:13:19,440
Yeah.
279
00:13:20,720 --> 00:13:24,160
Er...er, sorry, I'm super wet.
280
00:13:24,160 --> 00:13:26,360
Oh, yeah, you do look wet. Yeah.
281
00:13:26,360 --> 00:13:27,960
Why aren't you wet? Brolly.
282
00:13:27,960 --> 00:13:30,720
Clever. Yes. Bolton.
283
00:13:30,720 --> 00:13:33,280
You have to have a brolly.
Yeah.
284
00:13:33,280 --> 00:13:34,840
Yeah. Yeah.
285
00:13:34,840 --> 00:13:37,400
Drink? Definitely!
286
00:13:41,880 --> 00:13:43,080
HE SIGHS
287
00:13:45,400 --> 00:13:47,880
You really do look like your mum.
Oh, right.
288
00:13:49,600 --> 00:13:51,240
Yeah, it's quite scary actually.
289
00:13:52,480 --> 00:13:55,240
We've got the same chin, though,
have you noticed? No.
290
00:13:56,360 --> 00:13:58,280
Oh, having said that,
I do have a good chin.
291
00:13:58,280 --> 00:14:00,000
Yeah.
292
00:14:01,040 --> 00:14:03,680
I've never seen my chin
on someone else before.
293
00:14:03,680 --> 00:14:04,720
No.
294
00:14:14,680 --> 00:14:17,000
Hey, I was thinking, you know,
295
00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:19,920
I should take you
to the aquarium at some point
296
00:14:19,920 --> 00:14:22,520
cos my dad used to take me
when I was little.
297
00:14:22,520 --> 00:14:24,360
Aye, OK. Yeah, maybe.
298
00:14:24,360 --> 00:14:25,640
CLICKS FINGERS
299
00:14:25,640 --> 00:14:26,920
Let's go now!
300
00:14:26,920 --> 00:14:29,840
Now? Yeah.
Let's go and see some fucking fish!
301
00:14:29,840 --> 00:14:32,520
MUMBLES: O...OK. Woo! All right.
302
00:14:32,520 --> 00:14:34,400
OK. What, right now? Aha.
303
00:14:41,360 --> 00:14:42,840
Aw, this is terrible.
304
00:14:44,600 --> 00:14:46,760
I can't believe my dad
used to bring me here.
305
00:14:46,760 --> 00:14:48,920
It's like they're all in prison.
306
00:14:48,920 --> 00:14:50,760
Look at that guy.
307
00:14:51,840 --> 00:14:55,240
"This active and peaceful
rainbow fish can be found
308
00:14:55,240 --> 00:14:57,720
"in the freshwater lakes of
Papua New Guinea."
309
00:14:57,720 --> 00:14:59,840
See, what's he doing here?
310
00:14:59,840 --> 00:15:02,080
Oof. I need a drink.
311
00:15:03,640 --> 00:15:07,280
Er, excuse me.
You can't smoke in here.
312
00:15:07,280 --> 00:15:10,680
You can't NOT smoke in here, eh?
313
00:15:10,680 --> 00:15:13,400
Have you looked into the eyes
of that rainbow fish?
314
00:15:19,120 --> 00:15:21,000
Oh, that fish, though...
315
00:15:23,080 --> 00:15:24,880
..with its sad eyes.
316
00:15:24,880 --> 00:15:27,320
That's how I used to feel in Bolton.
317
00:15:27,320 --> 00:15:31,440
Like an exotic fish
trapped in a bowl.
318
00:15:36,960 --> 00:15:38,360
Bowl...town.
319
00:15:38,360 --> 00:15:40,160
Yeah.
320
00:15:40,160 --> 00:15:42,080
I feel like that sometimes.
321
00:15:42,080 --> 00:15:45,560
Yeah, well, makes sense, don't it?
You are my daughter, after all.
322
00:15:45,560 --> 00:15:47,800
Even if you are a weird fish.
323
00:15:47,800 --> 00:15:50,240
An exotic fish. Not a weird fish.
324
00:15:51,960 --> 00:15:54,560
Hey, I tell you
who was a weird fish.
325
00:15:54,560 --> 00:15:55,760
Your mum.
326
00:15:55,760 --> 00:15:57,120
Yeah.
327
00:15:57,120 --> 00:15:59,480
Yeah. It's a shame what happened
to her, you know.
328
00:15:59,480 --> 00:16:02,680
Cos, you know, she was...
she was...talented.
329
00:16:02,680 --> 00:16:05,280
She just had
an addictive personality.
330
00:16:05,280 --> 00:16:09,360
Yeah, it was always
"one more" wi' Lin.
331
00:16:09,360 --> 00:16:10,600
Yeah.
332
00:16:10,600 --> 00:16:13,440
Um, so, what's your wife like?
333
00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:15,920
Oh, I think she's a bit fed up
of me, to be honest.
334
00:16:15,920 --> 00:16:18,000
Hey, you'll like this.
335
00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:22,120
When we first met, she thought
I was a diamond in the rough.
336
00:16:22,120 --> 00:16:25,760
Now she just thinks
I'm a shit pebble.
337
00:16:25,760 --> 00:16:27,560
Oh, dear!
338
00:16:29,480 --> 00:16:31,640
Bolton's changing, isn't it, hey?
339
00:16:31,640 --> 00:16:35,520
Yes, we're all eating hummus,
and we know how to spell it.
340
00:16:35,520 --> 00:16:37,800
There's me, thinking
you'd still be in caves,
341
00:16:37,800 --> 00:16:39,680
learning how to light a fire.
342
00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:44,520
One more?
343
00:16:44,520 --> 00:16:46,720
Always.
344
00:16:46,720 --> 00:16:49,960
MUSIC: I'm In The Mood For Dancing
345
00:16:49,960 --> 00:16:53,200
Come on, Bolton! We want to see
you get your dancing feet on.
346
00:16:53,200 --> 00:16:54,840
That's right.
347
00:16:56,640 --> 00:16:58,600
Yeah, yeah...
348
00:17:00,600 --> 00:17:01,880
I'm in the mood...
349
00:17:01,880 --> 00:17:05,120
Well, it's...certainly
lively, isn't it?
350
00:17:05,120 --> 00:17:06,640
Ace, isn't it?
351
00:17:06,640 --> 00:17:08,200
That's my best mate.
352
00:17:08,200 --> 00:17:11,720
Bill! Where are those duck liver
parfaits for table two?
353
00:17:11,720 --> 00:17:14,000
Literally, 30 seconds.
354
00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:17,840
Yeah, well, she's certainly
a...character. Yeah.
355
00:17:20,560 --> 00:17:22,680
Another drink? Ooh, yes, please.
356
00:17:22,680 --> 00:17:25,600
So come on and hold me tight
357
00:17:25,600 --> 00:17:27,640
Dancing
358
00:17:27,640 --> 00:17:28,680
I'm in the mood...
359
00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:33,880
WHISPERS: Fuck.
360
00:17:33,880 --> 00:17:35,080
Ooh, dancing...
361
00:17:35,080 --> 00:17:36,480
Mum, what you doing here?
362
00:17:36,480 --> 00:17:38,720
They're all here. All me best ones.
363
00:17:38,720 --> 00:17:41,080
Dead Woman Walking.
Great. Yeah, no, no, lovely.
364
00:17:41,080 --> 00:17:43,160
That's fantastic. Yeah.
365
00:17:43,160 --> 00:17:46,800
Amy Winehouse portrait.
It's just it's not quite a good...
366
00:17:46,800 --> 00:17:51,000
Oh. Richard. The Cruel Flower.
Right. Yeah..
367
00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:54,480
These need to be well-lit,
so I've made these.
368
00:17:54,480 --> 00:17:58,320
Oh! Just I've not really had
a chance to talk to Leanne about it.
369
00:17:58,320 --> 00:18:00,360
I've been a bit side-tracked,
so, yeah...
370
00:18:01,920 --> 00:18:03,160
Richard?!
371
00:18:05,360 --> 00:18:07,000
Fuck.
372
00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:08,520
Shit.
373
00:18:08,520 --> 00:18:09,560
Lin?
374
00:18:09,560 --> 00:18:11,720
What the fuck?!
375
00:18:13,120 --> 00:18:14,560
What...
376
00:18:15,920 --> 00:18:17,920
What's happened to your teeth?
Oh!
377
00:18:17,920 --> 00:18:21,800
Aargh! Mum! You have no fucking idea
378
00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:24,480
what a waste of space
this man is, Alma,
379
00:18:24,480 --> 00:18:26,560
so good fucking luck with that.
380
00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:30,000
Fuck you, Dick!
381
00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:33,560
Mum!
382
00:18:34,840 --> 00:18:35,880
Fuck.
383
00:18:37,680 --> 00:18:39,960
I've been called worse.
384
00:18:39,960 --> 00:18:41,920
Shall we finish those drinks?
385
00:18:41,920 --> 00:18:43,120
Shit.
386
00:18:43,120 --> 00:18:45,640
Yes, squire. Two sangrias.
387
00:18:45,640 --> 00:18:49,440
MUSIC: Another Day
by TTRRUUCES
388
00:18:53,080 --> 00:18:55,760
Oh, yeah. See you later, Barry!
Bye, Chris!
389
00:18:55,760 --> 00:18:58,000
Oh, you are kidding, aren't you?
390
00:18:58,000 --> 00:19:01,640
I have not had one of these since
I was 18. You're joking?
391
00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:03,800
God, I have one every day.
Yeah, I can tell.
392
00:19:03,800 --> 00:19:06,960
Hey, we have to go to Booth's.
Come on. To Booth's?
393
00:19:09,120 --> 00:19:11,280
Oh, wow.
394
00:19:11,280 --> 00:19:13,400
I used to come here loads.
395
00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:15,800
I was a bit naughty, though,
actually. I used to say
396
00:19:15,800 --> 00:19:18,480
I was going out for nappies.
I'd just come home with a guitar.
397
00:19:20,480 --> 00:19:21,520
Hold me that. Oh!
398
00:19:22,760 --> 00:19:25,320
OK. I...I'll just wait...
399
00:19:25,320 --> 00:19:26,880
..I'll just wait here.
400
00:19:32,280 --> 00:19:34,360
Ha-ha! Yeah, but remember,
401
00:19:34,360 --> 00:19:36,560
we don't stop playing
because we get old.
402
00:19:36,560 --> 00:19:39,560
We get old because we stop playing.
403
00:19:39,560 --> 00:19:42,840
You take care, Gary.
Yeah, all right. Cheers, mate.
404
00:19:42,840 --> 00:19:45,040
I couldn't resist this beauty.
405
00:19:45,040 --> 00:19:47,640
My new sounds are going to be
great on her.
406
00:19:48,760 --> 00:19:50,560
You've got your own sound?
407
00:19:52,040 --> 00:19:53,800
Do I have a sound?
408
00:19:53,800 --> 00:19:57,040
Jupiter is big and round
409
00:19:57,040 --> 00:20:01,240
Mighty storms are raging down
410
00:20:01,240 --> 00:20:05,000
In this great cosmic playground
411
00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:07,440
Jupiter, you're magic
412
00:20:08,720 --> 00:20:10,200
Gas giant...
413
00:20:10,200 --> 00:20:11,800
I was actually there
414
00:20:11,800 --> 00:20:14,680
when Ian Curtis first played at
The Factory in Manchester,
415
00:20:14,680 --> 00:20:18,040
you know. Yeah, and I've been to
The Hacienda, loads.
416
00:20:18,040 --> 00:20:20,160
Wow. Mm.
417
00:20:20,160 --> 00:20:23,040
Man, it was...it was a time.
418
00:20:23,040 --> 00:20:25,560
Yeah, so cool.
419
00:20:25,560 --> 00:20:28,200
We weren't even there.
You're younger than me.
420
00:20:28,200 --> 00:20:31,320
Oh, I know. But I've been to
an exhibition all about it.
421
00:20:31,320 --> 00:20:32,840
Right.
422
00:20:32,840 --> 00:20:35,640
I actually find Mancunian
nostalgia quite tedious.
423
00:20:38,120 --> 00:20:39,600
Right, I'm going to go.
424
00:20:39,600 --> 00:20:41,360
What? Hang on, I'm up next!
425
00:20:41,360 --> 00:20:44,080
Oh, I know. But I got the live show
earlier, didn't I?
426
00:20:44,080 --> 00:20:45,880
I fucking love Jupiter.
427
00:20:45,880 --> 00:20:47,440
OK.
428
00:20:47,440 --> 00:20:49,560
Right, I'll see you
tomorrow for tea.
429
00:20:49,560 --> 00:20:50,760
I've got a fancy steak pie.
430
00:20:50,760 --> 00:20:52,600
Oh, yeah. Course you have!
431
00:20:52,600 --> 00:20:54,880
Yeah, you Boltonians
love your stodge, don't you?
432
00:20:54,880 --> 00:20:58,080
Yeah, I suppose it gives you
a doughy layer of fat
433
00:20:58,080 --> 00:21:00,360
to keep you warm, eh?
HE LAUGHS
434
00:21:00,360 --> 00:21:03,480
I'd rather be doughy
than like a drunk washing line.
435
00:21:03,480 --> 00:21:05,120
Ha-ha! Yeah!
436
00:21:05,120 --> 00:21:07,480
I'll see you tomorrow, Carb Queen.
437
00:21:24,600 --> 00:21:26,280
Mmm.
438
00:21:26,280 --> 00:21:27,960
Yeah.
439
00:21:36,680 --> 00:21:37,960
Hiya, Alex. Hiya.
440
00:21:37,960 --> 00:21:40,360
Er, same as usual. 20 gold.
441
00:21:42,800 --> 00:21:44,800
Oh, no! Not mouldy toe, please.
442
00:21:44,800 --> 00:21:47,160
Have you got that sad-looking man
by the radiator?
443
00:21:47,160 --> 00:21:49,280
No. No? No. Sorry.
444
00:21:49,280 --> 00:21:52,200
What about the cute baby smoking
through her dummy?
445
00:21:52,200 --> 00:21:55,280
No. Ooh, you've not got a very
good range, Alex. Er...
446
00:21:55,280 --> 00:21:57,520
..I'll take moustache man
with the neck tumour.
447
00:21:57,520 --> 00:21:58,920
There's always loads of him.
448
00:21:58,920 --> 00:22:00,520
Five minutes.
449
00:22:00,520 --> 00:22:04,080
No, Karen. I am doing biscuits.
450
00:22:04,080 --> 00:22:05,560
I'll be there in a second.
451
00:22:05,560 --> 00:22:06,960
David?!
452
00:22:08,400 --> 00:22:10,840
Alma! You all right?
453
00:22:12,800 --> 00:22:14,000
What the fuck?
454
00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:17,280
Listen, Alma, can I call you
after my shift?
455
00:22:17,280 --> 00:22:22,600
I've got 250 tins of baked beans
and sausages to pack before 9pm.
456
00:22:22,600 --> 00:22:24,440
Why are you working
in a supermarket?
457
00:22:24,440 --> 00:22:27,680
Proper agents don't stack shelves,
David.
458
00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:29,760
It's a tough industry, Alma.
459
00:22:29,760 --> 00:22:32,320
And the fact that
I have lost my office
460
00:22:32,320 --> 00:22:36,880
and may have my house repossessed
is actually good news for you
461
00:22:36,880 --> 00:22:39,520
because it gives me a drive
and determination that you can
462
00:22:39,520 --> 00:22:42,680
only really get when
you've hit rock-bottom.
463
00:22:42,680 --> 00:22:45,480
Do you know what?
You're full of shit, David.
464
00:22:47,080 --> 00:22:48,600
Is this what all men are like?
465
00:22:48,600 --> 00:22:50,520
Are you all just full of shit?
466
00:22:50,520 --> 00:22:54,520
You know, do you just go around
letting people down and lying
467
00:22:54,520 --> 00:22:56,480
and not turning up for dinners
468
00:22:56,480 --> 00:22:59,040
and commenting on their
pastry-eating habits?
469
00:22:59,040 --> 00:23:00,320
Is this what you do?
470
00:23:00,320 --> 00:23:03,040
Is this just the cunty way
that you were taught to exist?
471
00:23:03,040 --> 00:23:05,920
Because I tell you what,
I am NOT a fan of it, David.
472
00:23:05,920 --> 00:23:08,640
I just want to castrate
the lot of you and...
473
00:23:08,640 --> 00:23:10,440
MOBILE RINGS
474
00:23:12,600 --> 00:23:14,640
Oh, another man!
475
00:23:14,640 --> 00:23:17,520
What the fuck do you want, Jim?
Your mum's kicked off in't museum.
476
00:23:17,520 --> 00:23:19,480
Oh, God. OK.
The police have arrived.
477
00:23:19,480 --> 00:23:21,840
Right. OK. I'm coming now.
478
00:23:24,880 --> 00:23:26,840
Karen, I'm on biscuits.
479
00:23:26,840 --> 00:23:28,560
Stop shouting "sausages" in me ear.
480
00:23:30,840 --> 00:23:33,040
HE SIGHS
481
00:23:33,040 --> 00:23:36,360
Hiya. I'm looking for
a small angry woman in a wig.
482
00:23:36,360 --> 00:23:38,720
Through there, love. Lin?
483
00:23:41,160 --> 00:23:42,280
She's in there.
484
00:23:46,080 --> 00:23:48,080
Mum, what are you doing?
485
00:23:48,080 --> 00:23:49,760
Nothing.
486
00:23:49,760 --> 00:23:52,360
I just asked the Happy Hippo
487
00:23:52,360 --> 00:23:54,960
to put my fucking work out.
488
00:23:54,960 --> 00:23:56,680
She keeps calling me that.
489
00:23:56,680 --> 00:23:59,920
She's been coming in all week
and asking me to hang up her work
490
00:23:59,920 --> 00:24:04,600
and pay cash for it. I said no,
so she's hung it up herself.
491
00:24:04,600 --> 00:24:07,720
She told me she's collaborating
with Alexander McQueen.
492
00:24:07,720 --> 00:24:10,680
Right. I told her that he was dead.
493
00:24:10,680 --> 00:24:12,680
Seemed to really upset her.
494
00:24:12,680 --> 00:24:15,000
I said, "You can't be crying
in here."
495
00:24:15,000 --> 00:24:17,080
Can people not cry in museums?
496
00:24:17,080 --> 00:24:18,960
She was making people feel uneasy.
497
00:24:21,640 --> 00:24:23,400
Mum, you need to come out.
498
00:24:23,400 --> 00:24:25,800
I just wanted to buy me and Jim
499
00:24:25,800 --> 00:24:28,040
that caravan in Rhyl.
500
00:24:28,040 --> 00:24:32,200
But artists don't become
millionaires overnight.
501
00:24:32,200 --> 00:24:37,480
Look at my friend Alexander McQueen
- it took him years,
502
00:24:37,480 --> 00:24:39,120
and now he's dead.
503
00:24:39,120 --> 00:24:40,600
I know, Mum.
504
00:24:40,600 --> 00:24:43,120
Does she know Alexander McQueen? No.
505
00:24:43,120 --> 00:24:44,880
He's been dead for years.
506
00:24:44,880 --> 00:24:46,960
Come on, Lin. Come out.
507
00:24:46,960 --> 00:24:49,400
I can't. The police are here now.
508
00:24:49,400 --> 00:24:52,280
And they'll take me back
to hospital.
509
00:24:52,280 --> 00:24:54,920
I know, Mum,
but you can't hide in here.
510
00:24:54,920 --> 00:24:58,360
We'll get that caravan, Lin.
It'll just take us...time.
511
00:24:58,360 --> 00:24:59,640
You're lying!
512
00:24:59,640 --> 00:25:03,240
You'll just get too comfy
at the dragon woman's house,
513
00:25:03,240 --> 00:25:05,960
with your own kettle
and your clean walls
514
00:25:05,960 --> 00:25:10,240
and crumpets on tap,
like some sort of emperor.
515
00:25:10,240 --> 00:25:11,680
I know.
516
00:25:11,680 --> 00:25:14,400
You'll abandon me, like Richard did.
517
00:25:19,560 --> 00:25:21,240
I'm not going anywhere, Lin.
518
00:25:22,400 --> 00:25:24,240
We're like a pair of socks, us.
519
00:25:26,520 --> 00:25:28,160
Odd when we're not together.
520
00:25:30,520 --> 00:25:33,080
I love you, Lin.
521
00:25:34,960 --> 00:25:39,120
And I'll be at that hospital
with your bag of bits every day
522
00:25:39,120 --> 00:25:40,640
until you get out.
523
00:25:42,960 --> 00:25:44,600
As always.
524
00:25:47,720 --> 00:25:50,720
Me...and you.
525
00:25:54,040 --> 00:25:55,720
It's forever, Lin.
526
00:26:08,720 --> 00:26:12,920
MUSIC: Pool Party
by Julia Jacklin
527
00:26:17,440 --> 00:26:18,840
It's all right.
528
00:26:18,840 --> 00:26:20,000
Love you, Mum.
529
00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:26,680
I was shorter
than my dad's dining table
530
00:26:26,680 --> 00:26:31,480
You were taller than my bedroom
door frame...
531
00:26:31,480 --> 00:26:33,640
KNOCKS ON DOOR
532
00:26:33,640 --> 00:26:38,440
Hit me hard when I found height
don't make a man...
533
00:26:40,680 --> 00:26:42,400
Hey.
534
00:26:42,400 --> 00:26:44,200
Rich!
535
00:26:44,200 --> 00:26:46,840
Rich, it's for you! Yo. Hey.
536
00:26:48,560 --> 00:26:51,000
The girl from the bar.
537
00:26:51,000 --> 00:26:52,720
How creepy.
538
00:26:52,720 --> 00:26:55,840
And what about your wife? Anyway...
539
00:26:55,840 --> 00:26:58,040
So, er, you didn't come for tea?
540
00:26:58,040 --> 00:27:01,040
No, I bumped into an old music
pal in town, you know.
541
00:27:01,040 --> 00:27:03,600
Right. You're not even sorry,
are you?
542
00:27:05,320 --> 00:27:07,440
What is it you want from me, Alma?
543
00:27:07,440 --> 00:27:09,080
That's a good question.
544
00:27:10,040 --> 00:27:12,640
I think I wanted to feel
like your daughter.
545
00:27:12,640 --> 00:27:16,480
I think, in my head, I always
imagined that you loved me.
546
00:27:16,480 --> 00:27:20,480
But in my head, I imagined a lot of
things about you that weren't true,
547
00:27:20,480 --> 00:27:22,600
so I think I just...
Do you know what?
548
00:27:22,600 --> 00:27:24,840
Do you know what?
549
00:27:24,840 --> 00:27:27,400
I'm a nice guy
and I don't deserve it.
550
00:27:29,200 --> 00:27:30,920
Right.
551
00:27:30,920 --> 00:27:34,200
Well...I'm really glad
I met you, Richard.
552
00:27:34,200 --> 00:27:35,960
Hey!
553
00:27:35,960 --> 00:27:38,160
Hey, no! Fuck you!
554
00:27:38,160 --> 00:27:41,720
You don't know what
I've been through. Bye, Dick!
555
00:27:41,720 --> 00:27:44,640
I've spent so much time thinking
about this missing part of me,
556
00:27:44,640 --> 00:27:47,640
dreaming of the perfect meeting
with the perfect father.
557
00:27:47,640 --> 00:27:50,880
Now I realise there was nothing
missing in the first place.
558
00:27:50,880 --> 00:27:52,360
And let's be honest,
559
00:27:52,360 --> 00:27:54,000
he's just a bit of a dick.
560
00:28:00,360 --> 00:28:02,680
I met my father,
561
00:28:02,680 --> 00:28:06,480
and he didn't walk like
a moody gorilla at all.
562
00:28:06,480 --> 00:28:08,280
More like a confused worm.
563
00:28:14,200 --> 00:28:18,440
We went to the aquarium in Bowl-town
and had a jolly old time.
564
00:28:18,440 --> 00:28:21,840
And then he looked into the eyes
of a sad rainbow fish
565
00:28:21,840 --> 00:28:25,320
and saw himself. He hates himself,
566
00:28:25,320 --> 00:28:27,960
he hates the north
and he hates my mother.
567
00:28:27,960 --> 00:28:30,760
So, of course, he was
absolutely terrified of me
568
00:28:30,760 --> 00:28:32,240
from the moment saw me.
569
00:28:32,240 --> 00:28:36,840
He said, "Bloody hell, you look
just like your crazy mother!"
570
00:28:36,840 --> 00:28:39,920
And I said, "That's as may be.
571
00:28:39,920 --> 00:28:42,920
"And you look
nothing like Richard Ashcroft!"
572
00:28:48,560 --> 00:28:52,480
Jupiter is big and round
573
00:28:52,480 --> 00:28:56,600
Mighty storms are raging now
574
00:28:56,600 --> 00:29:00,360
In the great cosmic playground
575
00:29:00,360 --> 00:29:04,040
Jupiter, you're magic
576
00:29:04,040 --> 00:29:08,200
Gas giant with swirling grace
577
00:29:08,200 --> 00:29:11,560
You're the biggest boy in space.
578
00:29:11,610 --> 00:29:16,160
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