Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:04,320
MUSIC: California Soul
by Marlena Shaw
2
00:00:04,320 --> 00:00:08,360
This programme contains
strong language from the start.
3
00:00:08,360 --> 00:00:09,520
Fabulous.
4
00:00:09,520 --> 00:00:11,640
Here I am!
5
00:00:11,640 --> 00:00:14,720
Ready to take on this goddamn town!
6
00:00:14,720 --> 00:00:16,640
And ready to take on the worl...
Hey.
7
00:00:16,640 --> 00:00:18,360
What have YOU come as?
8
00:00:19,960 --> 00:00:22,120
It's all in the air
You hear it everywhere
9
00:00:22,120 --> 00:00:26,240
No matter what you do
It's gonna grab a hold on you...
10
00:00:26,240 --> 00:00:27,480
Oi!
11
00:00:29,800 --> 00:00:31,040
Ooh!
12
00:00:31,040 --> 00:00:32,400
Woo!
13
00:00:32,400 --> 00:00:34,720
Bolton, baby! I'm back!
14
00:00:39,040 --> 00:00:40,680
Shit! Where's my suitcase?!
15
00:00:40,680 --> 00:00:42,920
Like a sound you hear
That lingers in your ear
16
00:00:42,920 --> 00:00:44,800
Ohh...
17
00:00:46,440 --> 00:00:48,160
Shit, it's this way.
18
00:00:52,040 --> 00:00:53,760
Oh, thank God.
19
00:00:53,760 --> 00:00:55,160
Oh.
20
00:00:55,160 --> 00:00:56,880
I've got it.
21
00:00:56,880 --> 00:00:58,280
Oh, right.
22
00:00:59,440 --> 00:01:00,880
Fabulous.
23
00:01:05,560 --> 00:01:07,240
Right...
24
00:01:07,240 --> 00:01:08,880
SHE GRUNTS
Uh...
25
00:01:08,880 --> 00:01:10,200
Buh-buh-buh.
26
00:01:14,360 --> 00:01:15,680
Right...
27
00:01:15,680 --> 00:01:17,200
God...
28
00:01:17,200 --> 00:01:19,280
SHE SIGHS
29
00:01:19,280 --> 00:01:21,480
Hello-o-o-o!
30
00:01:21,480 --> 00:01:22,840
Aha! Rob.
31
00:01:22,840 --> 00:01:24,240
Hey.
32
00:01:24,240 --> 00:01:26,720
Brenda. She needs a bit of TLC.
33
00:01:26,720 --> 00:01:28,520
Man, that is fucked.
34
00:01:28,520 --> 00:01:30,160
What did you do to it?
35
00:01:30,160 --> 00:01:32,840
I might've left her
outside a pub for six months.
36
00:01:35,600 --> 00:01:36,920
CLATTER
37
00:01:36,920 --> 00:01:39,640
Yeah. You're going
to have to chuck it.
38
00:01:39,640 --> 00:01:41,520
Oh, poor Brenda.
39
00:01:41,520 --> 00:01:43,280
I've had her years.
40
00:01:43,280 --> 00:01:44,800
But, do you know, this is good?
41
00:01:44,800 --> 00:01:46,760
Because the thing is,
just cos I'm coming back
42
00:01:46,760 --> 00:01:49,520
doesn't mean
I'm going backWARDS. Yeah.
43
00:01:49,520 --> 00:01:51,400
New bike, new me.
44
00:01:52,640 --> 00:01:54,880
It's time to say goodbye to Brenda.
45
00:01:54,880 --> 00:01:58,800
Right, I need something cheap,
practical, lightweight...
46
00:01:58,800 --> 00:02:01,840
ENGINE ROARS, SHE SQUEALS
47
00:02:01,840 --> 00:02:04,120
I'm back, Bolton!
48
00:02:10,040 --> 00:02:12,520
Oh!
EXCITED SQUEALING
49
00:02:12,520 --> 00:02:16,200
THEY WHOOP AND SQUEAL
50
00:02:16,200 --> 00:02:18,080
Oh-h-h!
51
00:02:18,080 --> 00:02:20,240
THEY WHOOP
52
00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:25,280
BOTH: Ooooh!
53
00:02:26,400 --> 00:02:28,920
Oh! Oh!
54
00:02:28,920 --> 00:02:31,600
Aww! Aw! Aw!
55
00:02:31,600 --> 00:02:33,360
Oh, bloody hell.
56
00:02:33,360 --> 00:02:35,120
What the bloody hell is that?!
57
00:02:35,120 --> 00:02:36,200
That's Julie.
58
00:02:36,200 --> 00:02:37,440
After Walters.
59
00:02:37,440 --> 00:02:39,120
She's fabulous!
60
00:02:40,280 --> 00:02:41,960
What are you like? Come on, you.
61
00:02:41,960 --> 00:02:43,880
DOOR CLOSES
You been on the wine?
62
00:02:43,880 --> 00:02:46,000
You look knackered.
It's not the wine -
63
00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:47,560
it's the sulphates IN the wine.
64
00:02:47,560 --> 00:02:49,960
Oh, yeah.
Oh, hiya, Jim, are you all right?
65
00:02:49,960 --> 00:02:51,200
He's very good.
66
00:02:51,200 --> 00:02:53,720
Look at him, look how
he's flourishing,
67
00:02:53,720 --> 00:02:55,880
with my love and support,
since your mother left.
68
00:02:55,880 --> 00:02:58,920
You see that pale jaundice look
he had when he first got here?
69
00:02:58,920 --> 00:03:00,320
It's almost gone. Mm.
70
00:03:00,320 --> 00:03:01,920
Spam.
71
00:03:01,920 --> 00:03:03,720
Oh, no, it's doing him
the world of good.
72
00:03:03,720 --> 00:03:05,680
I told you it was healing, didn't I?
73
00:03:05,680 --> 00:03:07,960
We're actually very compatible
living companions.
74
00:03:07,960 --> 00:03:10,000
You see, it's not like living
with a man with Jim.
75
00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:11,680
It's more like living with a cat.
76
00:03:11,680 --> 00:03:13,480
You know, he doesn't speak
77
00:03:13,480 --> 00:03:16,240
and he just flops around
on different bits of furniture.
78
00:03:17,400 --> 00:03:18,520
Spam sandwich?
79
00:03:18,520 --> 00:03:19,960
No. Never.
80
00:03:19,960 --> 00:03:22,400
I've made you one.
I said I didn't want one.
81
00:03:24,040 --> 00:03:26,320
QUIETLY:
Alma, you've got to help me.
82
00:03:26,320 --> 00:03:28,040
What, er...what do you mean?
83
00:03:28,040 --> 00:03:29,600
I'm trapped. Eh?
84
00:03:30,840 --> 00:03:32,480
She won't let me call your mam,
85
00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:35,040
I'm not even allowed to use
me own kettle.
86
00:03:37,920 --> 00:03:40,000
Give this letter to your mum
when you see her.
87
00:03:40,000 --> 00:03:42,320
OK.
What are you two wittering about?
88
00:03:42,320 --> 00:03:43,600
Nothing.
89
00:03:43,600 --> 00:03:45,440
Aww, thank you. Mm-hm. Bleurgh!
90
00:03:45,440 --> 00:03:47,120
Can I pinch a fag?
91
00:03:47,120 --> 00:03:48,800
No, you can't.
92
00:03:48,800 --> 00:03:51,400
I've quit. I puff on these now.
93
00:03:51,400 --> 00:03:52,440
Eh?
94
00:03:52,440 --> 00:03:54,400
You get the same catharsis as a fag,
95
00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:56,320
with no harm and a fun little noise.
96
00:03:56,320 --> 00:03:57,800
TOOT!
97
00:03:57,800 --> 00:03:59,200
That's too ridiculous.
98
00:03:59,200 --> 00:04:00,480
Oh...
99
00:04:00,480 --> 00:04:02,520
So, come on, then, how was it?
100
00:04:02,520 --> 00:04:04,440
I'm not going to say this
to Grandma,
101
00:04:04,440 --> 00:04:06,040
but the tour was shite.
102
00:04:06,040 --> 00:04:08,480
Thespians
are actually quite irritating.
103
00:04:08,480 --> 00:04:09,920
VOCAL EXERCISES
104
00:04:09,920 --> 00:04:11,920
They treat their vocal cords
like pets,
105
00:04:11,920 --> 00:04:14,320
and are the kind of people
who can eat half a KitKat
106
00:04:14,320 --> 00:04:16,000
and save the other half for later.
107
00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:18,960
For a posh theatre company,
getting in diverse talent
108
00:04:18,960 --> 00:04:20,840
can be quite useful.
109
00:04:20,840 --> 00:04:24,000
And my staring role
in this mighty production...?
110
00:04:25,360 --> 00:04:26,840
Tree number two.
111
00:04:26,840 --> 00:04:29,160
In the silent forest of diversity.
112
00:04:29,160 --> 00:04:31,960
So, on the night
they invited a load of agents,
113
00:04:31,960 --> 00:04:33,400
I went for it.
114
00:04:33,400 --> 00:04:36,040
The wind whistled in the trees.
115
00:04:36,040 --> 00:04:38,520
SHE WHISTLES
116
00:04:45,480 --> 00:04:48,000
To be fair,
I was a fucking fabulous tree!
117
00:04:49,400 --> 00:04:51,480
That last show we did
was packed full of agents.
118
00:04:51,480 --> 00:04:52,960
I'm telling you now, come Monday,
119
00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:55,680
my phone's going to be ringing
off the hook.
120
00:04:55,680 --> 00:04:58,400
Bring-bring. Bring-bring.
121
00:04:58,400 --> 00:05:00,360
TOOT-TOOT!
Woo!
122
00:05:00,360 --> 00:05:03,680
Hey, can you feel it?
123
00:05:03,680 --> 00:05:05,600
The way it sways you
124
00:05:05,600 --> 00:05:08,080
The hum in your chest
125
00:05:08,080 --> 00:05:09,720
You make my feet move
126
00:05:09,720 --> 00:05:11,400
You turn my head loose
127
00:05:11,400 --> 00:05:14,160
That's why I love you the best.
128
00:05:14,160 --> 00:05:16,120
SHE SNAPS FINGERS RHYTHMICALLY
129
00:05:18,120 --> 00:05:19,720
Sorry to bother you again, Claire.
130
00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:22,640
I'm just very aware, er,
that my visit was at 10am
131
00:05:22,640 --> 00:05:25,440
and it's now 10:45. Well,
they said they'd be here soonish.
132
00:05:25,440 --> 00:05:26,960
Just take a seat.
133
00:05:26,960 --> 00:05:28,800
Right. Yes. Take a seat.
134
00:05:29,960 --> 00:05:31,760
Yeah.
135
00:05:31,760 --> 00:05:33,800
The thing is, I'm just not really
a sitter like that,
136
00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:35,000
do you know what I mean?
137
00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:37,080
I'm more of a bobber-up-and-down,
a mover-and-shaker.
138
00:05:37,080 --> 00:05:38,520
I've never been a....
139
00:05:38,520 --> 00:05:40,760
You know, some people can just...
140
00:05:40,760 --> 00:05:42,800
Not me. I've never been.
141
00:05:42,800 --> 00:05:43,920
But, yes.
142
00:05:47,160 --> 00:05:48,960
I did try and meditate once.
143
00:05:48,960 --> 00:05:50,280
A disaster.
144
00:05:50,280 --> 00:05:53,160
Never try and relax -
it's very stressful.
145
00:05:53,160 --> 00:05:54,720
DOOR BEEPS
146
00:05:54,720 --> 00:05:56,320
Alma for Lin Nuttal.
147
00:05:56,320 --> 00:05:58,480
Oh, thank God, yes.
148
00:05:58,480 --> 00:06:00,840
Fabulous. Follow me. Yeah.
Thank you.
149
00:06:00,840 --> 00:06:02,280
Thank you, Claire.
150
00:06:02,280 --> 00:06:04,000
What's YOUR name?
151
00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:06,360
And I've just never been able to
relax. I really haven't.
152
00:06:06,360 --> 00:06:08,720
I think that's probably why I smoke
because I can't sit still.
153
00:06:08,720 --> 00:06:10,640
I can actually watch the telly
stood up.
154
00:06:10,640 --> 00:06:12,880
My whole family are the same.
Very fidgety people.
155
00:06:12,880 --> 00:06:14,320
We do not relax.
156
00:06:14,320 --> 00:06:16,240
Do you know,
I took E in my 20s?
157
00:06:16,240 --> 00:06:19,560
And it had a surprisingly
mellowing impact on me.
158
00:06:19,560 --> 00:06:22,320
It was like Ritalin for me,
Michelle, honestly, it was fabulous.
159
00:06:22,320 --> 00:06:24,800
I think it's because everybody's
chemically different, aren't they?
160
00:06:24,800 --> 00:06:27,360
But I have a very unusual reaction
to milk.
161
00:06:27,360 --> 00:06:30,920
It's like essential oils -
we're all drawn to different ones.
162
00:06:30,920 --> 00:06:33,160
You know, if you sniff
an essential oil,
163
00:06:33,160 --> 00:06:36,040
the one that draws you in
is the one for you.
164
00:06:36,040 --> 00:06:37,560
I'm a eucalyptus girl.
165
00:06:37,560 --> 00:06:39,200
But who are you, Michelle?
166
00:06:39,200 --> 00:06:41,600
Anyway, do you know what?
I'm babbling on at you, aren't I?
167
00:06:41,600 --> 00:06:44,280
Am I? I've enjoyed our chat.
168
00:06:44,280 --> 00:06:47,440
Oh, well, you have a sniff
of some essential oils,
169
00:06:47,440 --> 00:06:48,960
I'll be intrigued, Michelle,
170
00:06:48,960 --> 00:06:51,320
to find out what's your thang.
171
00:06:51,320 --> 00:06:52,960
Thank you.
172
00:06:52,960 --> 00:06:54,560
Hello, Mum!
173
00:06:54,560 --> 00:06:56,640
Oh, you're back, are you?!
174
00:06:56,640 --> 00:06:59,480
Welcome to the guinea pig
fucking farm.
175
00:06:59,480 --> 00:07:03,320
The guinea pig you have selected
today is not in the mood to play
176
00:07:03,320 --> 00:07:05,400
cos she's too busy gnawing her arm
177
00:07:05,400 --> 00:07:08,280
and the wire cage
that she has found herself in.
178
00:07:08,280 --> 00:07:10,680
I'm a hamster on a wheel.
179
00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:12,360
Ooh, in her own habitat!
180
00:07:12,360 --> 00:07:16,520
Watch the little hamster running
round on her little wheel.
181
00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:21,480
And maybe then feed a seed through
an old toilet roll tube...
182
00:07:21,480 --> 00:07:24,160
Because my mum did a runner
from Grandma's,
183
00:07:24,160 --> 00:07:25,720
breaking her hospital order,
184
00:07:25,720 --> 00:07:29,040
she was arrested and ended up
on a medium-secure ward.
185
00:07:29,040 --> 00:07:31,320
I'm not supposed to be here!
I'm sane!
186
00:07:31,320 --> 00:07:34,080
I'm sane as a fucking goose,
for fuck's sake!
187
00:07:34,080 --> 00:07:36,760
She's not the only one
who shouldn't be there.
188
00:07:36,760 --> 00:07:40,080
There's the lovely young Goth, whose
only crime was hurting herself,
189
00:07:40,080 --> 00:07:43,120
Mad Sue, who I hear had started
stealing people's cats
190
00:07:43,120 --> 00:07:44,840
and pretending they were her own,
191
00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:46,400
and a woman called Kenny,
192
00:07:46,400 --> 00:07:47,960
who wears a bob hat all year round
193
00:07:47,960 --> 00:07:50,760
and has a penchant for throwing
cold baked beans at people.
194
00:07:50,760 --> 00:07:53,200
Mum was considered well enough
to leave -
195
00:07:53,200 --> 00:07:55,680
as long as they could find her
somewhere to go.
196
00:07:55,680 --> 00:07:57,640
Which they didn't.
197
00:07:57,640 --> 00:07:59,120
So here she is.
198
00:07:59,120 --> 00:08:02,120
So you can keep your emotional
willow balls
199
00:08:02,120 --> 00:08:05,680
and your happy fucking
hay of abandonment!
200
00:08:05,680 --> 00:08:07,960
Well, it's nice to see you too, Mum.
201
00:08:07,960 --> 00:08:09,880
Right, I've got your bits -
202
00:08:09,880 --> 00:08:12,320
I've got your sage, your thyme.
203
00:08:12,320 --> 00:08:14,240
I couldn't get frogs' legs.
204
00:08:14,240 --> 00:08:16,720
Er, so I got you anchovies.
205
00:08:18,480 --> 00:08:20,960
Oh. I mean, what do you want
all this stuff for anyway?
206
00:08:20,960 --> 00:08:23,000
I've got very into witchcraft.
207
00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:25,240
FOOTSTEPS APPROACH
Oh, that feels healthy.
208
00:08:25,240 --> 00:08:27,120
You know you're banned
from all that.
209
00:08:27,120 --> 00:08:29,520
What do you mean, banned?
210
00:08:29,520 --> 00:08:34,200
Some people are very intimidated
by my cosmic power, Alma.
211
00:08:34,200 --> 00:08:35,480
Right.
212
00:08:35,480 --> 00:08:37,080
And what does that mean?
213
00:08:37,080 --> 00:08:41,720
Turns out, Mum was trying to
cast a spell on a support worker.
214
00:08:41,720 --> 00:08:44,080
It wasn't Mum's cosmic power
they were scared of -
215
00:08:44,080 --> 00:08:46,800
more a convicted arsonist
with a lighter.
216
00:08:46,800 --> 00:08:48,480
DOOR BURSTS OPEN
217
00:08:48,480 --> 00:08:50,360
Next minute, she's
in the restraint position
218
00:08:50,360 --> 00:08:51,880
and the staff had called the police.
219
00:08:53,240 --> 00:08:54,720
You can't have this.
220
00:08:54,720 --> 00:08:56,320
Eh? Why?
221
00:08:56,320 --> 00:08:58,320
What's wrong with a plant
for her room?
222
00:08:58,320 --> 00:08:59,760
Health and safety.
223
00:08:59,760 --> 00:09:02,560
How's a domestic plant
a health and safety risk?
224
00:09:02,560 --> 00:09:04,680
It's just hospital policy.
225
00:09:04,680 --> 00:09:08,160
They can hide a lot of cruelty
behind the word policy, Alma.
226
00:09:10,000 --> 00:09:11,760
Don't worry.
227
00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:13,200
I'll get her later.
228
00:09:14,920 --> 00:09:16,400
Well, that feels sensible.
229
00:09:17,520 --> 00:09:19,640
Hey, I've got a letter from Jim
for you. Oh!
230
00:09:23,600 --> 00:09:26,720
Right, so, what's the plan?
How are you getting me out of here?
231
00:09:26,720 --> 00:09:30,280
Mum, I can't just get you out,
can I? It's a process.
232
00:09:30,280 --> 00:09:32,280
And you just need to focus
on getting well.
233
00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:34,680
This isn't a place to get better,
Alma.
234
00:09:34,680 --> 00:09:36,760
This is a place to get worse.
235
00:09:37,960 --> 00:09:39,880
I'm scared, Alma.
236
00:09:39,880 --> 00:09:42,320
I never know what's going to happen
next here.
237
00:09:42,320 --> 00:09:43,760
And the staff...
238
00:09:46,760 --> 00:09:49,880
Well, let's just focus
on the positives, yeah?
239
00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:52,640
I mean, your unescorted leave
starts on Friday,
240
00:09:52,640 --> 00:09:55,040
so I'm thinking we hit
the charity shops...
241
00:09:55,040 --> 00:09:57,200
Ooh, wippy fucking doodah!
242
00:09:57,200 --> 00:10:00,720
I can leave the ward for an hour
without a baby-sitter!
243
00:10:00,720 --> 00:10:03,600
I can get as far
as the charity shop! Ooh!
244
00:10:03,600 --> 00:10:07,400
And then I mince back with my sad
little bag of second-hand trinkets,
245
00:10:07,400 --> 00:10:09,280
just to get them confiscated.
246
00:10:12,600 --> 00:10:13,840
This is for you.
247
00:10:15,600 --> 00:10:18,760
It were Mad Sue's
but she's got too fat for it.
248
00:10:18,760 --> 00:10:21,040
She tried to charge me a tenner
for it.
249
00:10:21,040 --> 00:10:24,880
I said "Sue, you're a beast and
you're never getting out of here,
250
00:10:24,880 --> 00:10:27,680
"I'll take it off your hands
as a favour."
251
00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:31,320
Yeah? Mm...
252
00:10:31,320 --> 00:10:32,680
Nah.
253
00:10:34,080 --> 00:10:36,920
It actually looked better on Sue.
254
00:10:36,920 --> 00:10:38,120
Oh.
255
00:10:39,120 --> 00:10:40,720
Right...
256
00:10:43,200 --> 00:10:45,240
Come on, agents...
257
00:10:45,240 --> 00:10:46,560
Ring.
258
00:10:59,560 --> 00:11:01,280
What would you do, Julie?
259
00:11:04,160 --> 00:11:05,240
Right.
260
00:11:05,240 --> 00:11:06,400
OK.
261
00:11:06,400 --> 00:11:07,800
RINGING TONE
262
00:11:07,800 --> 00:11:09,600
Oh, hello there! Er, hi.
263
00:11:09,600 --> 00:11:13,320
My name's Alma. You actually came
to see me in a play on Friday.
264
00:11:13,320 --> 00:11:14,760
RINGING TONE
265
00:11:14,760 --> 00:11:17,000
Oh, hello, you came to see me
in a play.
266
00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:18,640
I was the tree.
267
00:11:19,760 --> 00:11:20,920
The...the tree?
268
00:11:20,920 --> 00:11:23,360
Yeah, we were right at the back
to the left.
269
00:11:23,360 --> 00:11:26,240
Well, it's stage right, in't it?
But we were right there.
270
00:11:26,240 --> 00:11:27,880
Yes, I was the tree.
271
00:11:27,880 --> 00:11:29,720
Yeah, no, there were trees.
272
00:11:29,720 --> 00:11:32,040
No, I understand it wasn't a
speaking part
273
00:11:32,040 --> 00:11:34,960
but it was actually very,
very physical.
274
00:11:34,960 --> 00:11:36,720
Yeah, it was VERY physical.
275
00:11:36,720 --> 00:11:38,320
I was knackered.
276
00:11:38,320 --> 00:11:42,480
No, I didn't have any words,
but I-I did whistle, actually -
277
00:11:42,480 --> 00:11:43,720
very well.
278
00:11:43,720 --> 00:11:45,840
You probably don't remember
the forest
279
00:11:45,840 --> 00:11:48,120
because we were doing so well
as trees -
280
00:11:48,120 --> 00:11:50,080
but we were there.
281
00:11:50,080 --> 00:11:51,520
Hello?
282
00:11:53,320 --> 00:11:54,840
Oh, great...
283
00:11:54,840 --> 00:11:58,320
Luckily, I've got another vocation
to fall back on.
284
00:11:58,320 --> 00:12:00,280
SLOW, FUNKY MUSIC
285
00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:04,600
Well, that's why you don't make
your own glory hole -
286
00:12:04,600 --> 00:12:06,040
it's dangerous.
287
00:12:06,040 --> 00:12:07,280
Mm.
288
00:12:07,280 --> 00:12:09,280
I'll call you back, Pete.
289
00:12:10,920 --> 00:12:12,720
Ruby, is it? It is.
290
00:12:12,720 --> 00:12:14,920
Thank you for seeing me.
Well, I'm only seeing you
291
00:12:14,920 --> 00:12:17,040
to tell you it's a big no. Oh!
292
00:12:17,040 --> 00:12:19,440
It's a small little industry, doll.
293
00:12:19,440 --> 00:12:21,040
And you're blacklisted.
294
00:12:21,040 --> 00:12:22,560
Am I?! Why?
295
00:12:22,560 --> 00:12:24,520
Well my old pal Rayray says
296
00:12:24,520 --> 00:12:26,200
you're unreliable,
297
00:12:26,200 --> 00:12:27,680
unprofessional,
298
00:12:27,680 --> 00:12:29,800
you compared one client to a pug,
299
00:12:29,800 --> 00:12:32,400
you regularly ate two puddings
on a dinner date.
300
00:12:32,400 --> 00:12:34,840
Is that bad, is it? You arrived
late, on a bicycle,
301
00:12:34,840 --> 00:12:36,920
to see a client more than once.
302
00:12:36,920 --> 00:12:38,680
You therapized several clients,
303
00:12:38,680 --> 00:12:41,000
to the point where they dealt with
their mother issues
304
00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:42,400
and didn't come back.
305
00:12:42,400 --> 00:12:44,440
And do you remember
your resignation?
306
00:12:45,520 --> 00:12:48,200
Take me off your books and
forget you ever knew me, Rayray!
307
00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:49,640
I'm off to become a star.
308
00:12:49,640 --> 00:12:52,760
And if you DO try and sell my story
to the press, I will sue.
309
00:12:52,760 --> 00:12:53,960
Adios!
310
00:12:55,440 --> 00:12:57,120
So it's a no, isn't it?
311
00:12:57,120 --> 00:12:58,880
Definitely.
312
00:12:58,880 --> 00:13:01,160
Yeah. OK. Well, thank you very much.
313
00:13:02,720 --> 00:13:04,560
Bye. See ya.
314
00:13:07,080 --> 00:13:10,360
Waaaaaaa!
Be whoever you wanna be
315
00:13:10,360 --> 00:13:12,720
Do whatever you wanna do
316
00:13:12,720 --> 00:13:14,960
Be whoever you wanna be
317
00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:17,320
I'll be there with you
318
00:13:17,320 --> 00:13:19,640
Be whoever you wanna be.
319
00:13:19,640 --> 00:13:22,640
Oh, my God, she's back!
And she's got new wheels!
320
00:13:22,640 --> 00:13:24,360
THEY SQUEAL EXCITEDLY
321
00:13:26,640 --> 00:13:28,160
BOTH: Aww!
322
00:13:29,520 --> 00:13:32,320
THEY BABBLE
BOTH: Oooh, ooh!
323
00:13:32,320 --> 00:13:34,200
Woo! Woo!
324
00:13:34,200 --> 00:13:37,080
Uh-uh-uh-uh, ooh-ooh-ooh.
325
00:13:37,080 --> 00:13:38,720
Ishka manda! Ooh!
326
00:13:39,800 --> 00:13:42,880
Bill, get us some Cheeky Vimtos
and bring 'em to the office.
327
00:13:42,880 --> 00:13:44,960
Office?! Hoo-hoo! Woo!
328
00:13:46,440 --> 00:13:49,080
Oh, God. Oh, my God. Fabulous.
329
00:13:51,240 --> 00:13:53,320
This is incredible. I know.
330
00:13:53,320 --> 00:13:56,280
Who knew a vajazzled lorry that
served Cheeky Vimtos
331
00:13:56,280 --> 00:13:58,240
was what Bolton was calling for?
You did.
332
00:13:58,240 --> 00:14:00,680
A lot's happened to Leanne
since I left.
333
00:14:00,680 --> 00:14:02,800
She read an eye-opening book...
334
00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:04,000
LEANNE GASPS
335
00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:07,000
The existence of my clitoris
IS proof that God loves me.
336
00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:08,880
..then started saying things like...
337
00:14:08,880 --> 00:14:11,280
There are so many people
in the world that I want to meet
338
00:14:11,280 --> 00:14:13,520
and sleep with,
why should I settle for one?
339
00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:16,080
I'm not a slut.
I'm an anthropologist, Alma!
340
00:14:16,080 --> 00:14:18,280
Monogamy's like a human tattoo.
341
00:14:18,280 --> 00:14:20,520
I don't want a human tattoo.
342
00:14:20,520 --> 00:14:23,680
You're supposed to love one person
until they cheat,
343
00:14:23,680 --> 00:14:25,240
die or join a cult.
344
00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:27,200
Why?! Then one day...
345
00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:29,200
We didn't like this old milk,
did we?
346
00:14:30,320 --> 00:14:31,640
Shall we try another?
347
00:14:34,720 --> 00:14:36,520
She walked out of her Friday
big shop
348
00:14:36,520 --> 00:14:38,160
and never came back.
349
00:14:38,160 --> 00:14:41,520
She found herself on some VERY wild
adventures.
350
00:14:41,520 --> 00:14:44,200
And in a game of strip poker
one night...
351
00:14:45,280 --> 00:14:46,880
..she won herself a lorry...
352
00:14:46,880 --> 00:14:48,240
Lush.
353
00:14:48,240 --> 00:14:49,560
..did it up...
354
00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:53,720
..and turned it into the
most fabulous hot-spot in town.
355
00:14:53,720 --> 00:14:55,400
Which wasn't great for Bill.
356
00:14:55,400 --> 00:14:57,840
He works for HER now.
357
00:14:57,840 --> 00:14:59,360
Oh, it's nonstop, though.
358
00:14:59,360 --> 00:15:01,800
Nonstop?! I haven't seen you
bloody start yet.
359
00:15:01,800 --> 00:15:03,960
She's just prancing around
with these bloody things.
360
00:15:03,960 --> 00:15:06,040
Back to the sandwiches! Yes, boss.
361
00:15:07,360 --> 00:15:08,640
Cheers.
362
00:15:08,640 --> 00:15:09,960
Cheers.
363
00:15:09,960 --> 00:15:11,640
So what's going on with you, then?
364
00:15:11,640 --> 00:15:15,200
Well, er, I've blown all my money
on a moped - fabulous, though.
365
00:15:15,200 --> 00:15:18,480
And I'm so unemployable that I can't
even get a job as a prostitute.
366
00:15:18,480 --> 00:15:20,600
But I will not be defeated, Leanne!
367
00:15:20,600 --> 00:15:22,680
I didn't want to work
as a prostitute anyway.
368
00:15:22,680 --> 00:15:24,400
The night shifts are too much,
369
00:15:24,400 --> 00:15:26,560
the dayshifts are too weird.
370
00:15:26,560 --> 00:15:29,480
Any man who needs to shag
a prostitute on his lunch break
371
00:15:29,480 --> 00:15:32,160
is not somebody you want to get
involved with, trust me.
372
00:15:32,160 --> 00:15:33,680
I'm fucking glad you're back.
373
00:15:33,680 --> 00:15:35,280
I'm glad I'm back. Cheers
374
00:15:35,280 --> 00:15:37,520
HORN BLASTS
Woo!
375
00:15:37,520 --> 00:15:40,040
HORN BLASTS
376
00:15:41,160 --> 00:15:44,160
I do need to get a job, though.
Mm-hm. Mm.
377
00:15:44,160 --> 00:15:46,120
Right, now, everybody, do this.
378
00:15:46,120 --> 00:15:48,480
And you've got to streamline
your lives.
379
00:15:48,480 --> 00:15:50,560
Just try your best. That's it.
380
00:15:50,560 --> 00:15:52,240
If you can. That's good.
381
00:15:52,240 --> 00:15:54,320
You're doing very well there.
That's it.
382
00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:56,280
Really let go of
all your inhibitions...
383
00:15:56,280 --> 00:15:57,960
Hello, everyone!
384
00:15:57,960 --> 00:15:59,840
Hello, Alma! Oh!
385
00:15:59,840 --> 00:16:02,480
Listen, this is just a flying visit
from me, post-tour.
386
00:16:02,480 --> 00:16:05,040
I can't stop. I've just come to
offer my skills
387
00:16:05,040 --> 00:16:07,520
as a professional actor. To Ian.
388
00:16:07,520 --> 00:16:09,680
I was thinking maybe
I could be his assistant or...
389
00:16:09,680 --> 00:16:11,120
Where is Ian?
390
00:16:11,120 --> 00:16:12,880
He's in Las Vegas.
391
00:16:12,880 --> 00:16:14,760
Eh? Didn't you hear?
392
00:16:14,760 --> 00:16:17,600
He did an angry video
about his ex-wife online.
393
00:16:17,600 --> 00:16:20,000
And everybody thought
it was a sketch.
394
00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:22,360
Got retweeted by LADbible.
395
00:16:22,360 --> 00:16:25,320
Oh? Then there was the podcast,
Funny Angry Men,
396
00:16:25,320 --> 00:16:27,000
he did a stand-up tour,
397
00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:28,720
then, hey pesto.
398
00:16:28,720 --> 00:16:31,200
Now he's an international
stand-up comedy star.
399
00:16:31,200 --> 00:16:32,600
Wow.
400
00:16:32,600 --> 00:16:34,200
Blimey.
401
00:16:34,200 --> 00:16:36,080
All that in six months?
402
00:16:36,080 --> 00:16:38,160
That's the power of LADbible.
403
00:16:38,160 --> 00:16:39,560
Mm.
404
00:16:39,560 --> 00:16:41,520
Do YOU need an assistant, Lesley?
405
00:16:42,600 --> 00:16:44,040
Oh, um...
406
00:16:46,480 --> 00:16:48,240
Hey.
407
00:16:48,240 --> 00:16:49,640
Oh.
408
00:16:49,640 --> 00:16:50,840
Brian.
409
00:16:50,840 --> 00:16:52,800
Great.
410
00:16:52,800 --> 00:16:54,280
Aw.
411
00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:56,040
SHE SIGHS
412
00:16:58,160 --> 00:16:59,560
Ugh.
413
00:17:03,160 --> 00:17:05,320
Dedicated Monkey Talent...?
414
00:17:11,480 --> 00:17:17,240
One day, you're gonna have
to go on with it
415
00:17:18,400 --> 00:17:21,360
You're gonna have to live on
with it...
416
00:17:22,640 --> 00:17:24,000
Hello. Sorry.
417
00:17:25,720 --> 00:17:29,000
Can I get two lots of chips, up
here, please.
418
00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:31,840
Er, I'm looking for
Dedicated Monkey Talent.
419
00:17:31,840 --> 00:17:33,160
Dave? Yeah.
420
00:17:33,160 --> 00:17:35,040
Yeah, he's through the back.
421
00:17:35,040 --> 00:17:36,520
Through the back?
422
00:17:37,600 --> 00:17:38,920
Right, OK. OK, thanks.
423
00:17:42,080 --> 00:17:43,440
Hello. Sorry.
424
00:17:43,440 --> 00:17:45,640
Can I get two lots of chips here?
425
00:17:45,640 --> 00:17:47,960
He's the best magician
this side of the Pennines.
426
00:17:47,960 --> 00:17:50,200
Odd... I still don't know where that
rabbit comes from,
427
00:17:50,200 --> 00:17:52,400
and I've know him for over 30 years.
428
00:17:53,600 --> 00:17:56,480
Yeah. Listen, Gordon,
my 11 has arrived.
429
00:17:57,720 --> 00:17:59,480
Yeah, all right.
430
00:17:59,480 --> 00:18:00,640
Bye, doll.
431
00:18:00,640 --> 00:18:02,400
Alma?
432
00:18:02,400 --> 00:18:03,840
Yes! Hello!
433
00:18:03,840 --> 00:18:05,440
Thanks so much for coming to see us.
434
00:18:05,440 --> 00:18:08,800
Yeah. Thank you for...
for having me here, it's lovely.
435
00:18:08,800 --> 00:18:14,160
Yeah. So, let me tell you a little
bit about Dedicated Talent Monkey.
436
00:18:14,160 --> 00:18:15,200
So...
437
00:18:16,280 --> 00:18:19,000
At Dedicated Talent Monkey,
stars are born.
438
00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:20,760
We birth talent...
439
00:18:20,760 --> 00:18:22,280
..and I sense...
440
00:18:22,280 --> 00:18:24,240
..I sense I could birth YOU.
441
00:18:24,240 --> 00:18:27,000
Right, OK. Is that...
that's good, in't it?
442
00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:28,760
I think? So, if you sign with me,
443
00:18:28,760 --> 00:18:30,760
I'm here for the long-haul!
444
00:18:30,760 --> 00:18:32,320
Kenny.
445
00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:35,000
I helped give birth to his baby
in the back of a black cab
446
00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:36,480
in 1987.
447
00:18:36,480 --> 00:18:38,200
Right. Yeah.
448
00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:39,800
Well done.
449
00:18:39,800 --> 00:18:41,920
Derell. Green Man.
450
00:18:41,920 --> 00:18:44,400
Green Man?
From the Green Man Travel advert.
451
00:18:44,400 --> 00:18:47,400
You...you don't remember?
No. You know...
452
00:18:47,400 --> 00:18:49,440
Green Man Travel is
an absolute must
453
00:18:49,440 --> 00:18:51,920
Our Green Man is
the only man to...
454
00:18:51,920 --> 00:18:53,160
No, I don't...
455
00:18:53,160 --> 00:18:54,880
But it put him through rehab.
456
00:18:54,880 --> 00:18:56,240
Yeah.
457
00:18:56,240 --> 00:18:58,600
Oh.. Just clearing out for t'lunch,
Dave. Do you want your scraps?
458
00:18:58,600 --> 00:19:01,320
Tracy, yes, please, thank you.
459
00:19:01,320 --> 00:19:03,680
Wonderful. The highlight of my day.
460
00:19:04,960 --> 00:19:07,240
LOUD CRUNCHING
Oh, they're good.
461
00:19:07,240 --> 00:19:09,520
So, Alma...
462
00:19:10,560 --> 00:19:13,000
HE CLEARS THROAT
Who is Alma? Tell me about Alma.
463
00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:15,200
Er, yeah, er so...
464
00:19:15,200 --> 00:19:16,760
I'm a Bolton girl.
465
00:19:16,760 --> 00:19:18,480
With a Helen Mirren energy. Nice.
466
00:19:18,480 --> 00:19:21,480
Very versatile. And, to be honest,
I bring something fresh,
467
00:19:21,480 --> 00:19:23,000
something fabulous which...
468
00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:25,440
..I don't think Kenny and Derell do.
469
00:19:25,440 --> 00:19:27,640
You're a spunky monkey, aren't you?
470
00:19:27,640 --> 00:19:28,880
I am.
471
00:19:28,880 --> 00:19:30,240
Now...
472
00:19:31,680 --> 00:19:33,200
..if you sign with me,
473
00:19:33,200 --> 00:19:35,240
there is a role that has come in
474
00:19:35,240 --> 00:19:38,000
that I think
you would be perfect for.
475
00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:39,920
Wait, you've got a role already?
476
00:19:43,120 --> 00:19:44,920
Do you know what? Fuck it!
477
00:19:44,920 --> 00:19:46,640
I'll do it. I'll sign.
478
00:19:46,640 --> 00:19:48,360
BELL DINGS
Let's do it!
479
00:19:48,360 --> 00:19:50,720
Wonderful.
No, that's great news. Thank you.
480
00:19:50,720 --> 00:19:53,480
So, now,
this is a site-specific piece.
481
00:19:53,480 --> 00:19:55,280
It's a sort of like
a promenade performance.
482
00:19:55,280 --> 00:19:56,880
Right And you will be playing
483
00:19:56,880 --> 00:20:00,000
an elderly woman who passed away in
the 1800s...
484
00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:01,240
Aw, this sounds fantastic!
485
00:20:01,240 --> 00:20:04,040
Do you know, I've been dying to get
myself stuck into a meaty,
486
00:20:04,040 --> 00:20:06,360
complex role. Fabulous!
487
00:20:06,360 --> 00:20:09,240
BELL TOLLS, SHE SIGHS
488
00:20:09,240 --> 00:20:12,920
FLATLY: Welcome to Ghouls R Us - the
ghouliest of ghoulish ghost tours.
489
00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:14,360
Please follow me.
490
00:20:15,600 --> 00:20:18,840
You'll be playing
an 18th century ghost.
491
00:20:18,840 --> 00:20:21,040
Your role is to escort people
492
00:20:21,040 --> 00:20:23,880
in t'ghouliest manner possible
round t'tour,
493
00:20:23,880 --> 00:20:25,480
stopping off at each site.
494
00:20:25,480 --> 00:20:27,680
Waaaah! Fuck me!
495
00:20:27,680 --> 00:20:29,800
Just practising.
496
00:20:29,800 --> 00:20:31,680
SHAKILY: OK. Well, nice to meet you.
497
00:20:32,840 --> 00:20:35,480
You'll be given a script.
You can ad-lib but please avoid
498
00:20:35,480 --> 00:20:37,560
getting into conversation
with anyone
499
00:20:37,560 --> 00:20:39,880
who seems intoxicated.
500
00:20:42,760 --> 00:20:45,320
Dean - playing ghost butcher.
501
00:20:45,320 --> 00:20:46,840
Pleased to meet you.
502
00:20:46,840 --> 00:20:48,480
Pleased to meet you, Dean.
503
00:20:51,560 --> 00:20:53,960
You'll be popping
out of that coffin,
504
00:20:53,960 --> 00:20:56,000
when you hear t'Grim Reaper say...
505
00:21:00,440 --> 00:21:02,280
SHE SIGHS
506
00:21:02,280 --> 00:21:04,840
..when you hear t'Grim reaper say...
507
00:21:08,160 --> 00:21:09,240
WHISPERS: Now?
508
00:21:09,240 --> 00:21:10,520
Yes!
509
00:21:10,520 --> 00:21:14,000
Your so-o-oul is mi-i-ine!
510
00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:15,960
Yeah. Very good.
511
00:21:15,960 --> 00:21:17,480
Very, very demonic.
512
00:21:17,480 --> 00:21:20,760
Hi, love. I'm the Grim Reaper
you'll be working with.
513
00:21:20,760 --> 00:21:22,400
But you can call me Grimmy.
514
00:21:22,400 --> 00:21:24,000
Ah! Grimmy, nice touch.
515
00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:27,160
I hope you take this a bit more
seriously than our last host.
516
00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:29,680
What people don't realise is
that we're actually bringing
517
00:21:29,680 --> 00:21:32,360
families together, during promenade.
518
00:21:32,360 --> 00:21:35,360
I'm more than just a
Grim Reaper, I'm a family therapist.
519
00:21:35,360 --> 00:21:37,120
All right, Paul, don't start.
520
00:21:37,120 --> 00:21:38,160
OK... Oh...
521
00:21:39,280 --> 00:21:42,800
If, for whatever reason,
t'coffin gets jammed again...
522
00:21:42,800 --> 00:21:45,840
Again? ..there's an emergency exit.
523
00:21:45,840 --> 00:21:47,920
You click that button...
AUTOMATED VOICE: Warning.
524
00:21:47,920 --> 00:21:49,400
..and roll out of t'back.
525
00:21:50,480 --> 00:21:52,360
In case of a fire, just run.
526
00:21:53,520 --> 00:21:54,840
OK, well, that...
527
00:21:54,840 --> 00:21:57,880
Yeah, that feels sensible,
really, doesn't it? Yeah.
528
00:21:57,880 --> 00:21:59,920
But mind t'wires.
529
00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:03,640
Oh, gosh, is that from...?
530
00:22:04,680 --> 00:22:06,920
Right. Probably get a good claim in
with that.
531
00:22:06,920 --> 00:22:08,320
Oh, aye. Good.
532
00:22:09,560 --> 00:22:11,480
Good, that's great.
Well, this is good.
533
00:22:11,480 --> 00:22:13,200
Good, great. I mean, it's not...
534
00:22:13,200 --> 00:22:14,760
..you know, but it is...
535
00:22:15,920 --> 00:22:18,880
..you know, it's something,
isn't it? So...
536
00:22:18,880 --> 00:22:20,440
Yeah.
537
00:22:20,440 --> 00:22:22,080
Boo!
538
00:22:23,000 --> 00:22:24,160
Yeah...
539
00:22:24,160 --> 00:22:25,720
THUNDER RUMBLES
540
00:22:25,720 --> 00:22:27,640
SINISTER MUSIC
541
00:22:31,680 --> 00:22:33,440
No. Shite.
542
00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:37,120
Or...this?
543
00:22:40,080 --> 00:22:43,320
Yeah, I mean, they're both quite
unsettling, to be honest.
544
00:22:44,360 --> 00:22:47,440
BELL RINGS
Oooh! Our horror seekers! Finally!
545
00:22:47,440 --> 00:22:49,120
Right, Paul, stop titting about.
546
00:22:49,120 --> 00:22:51,280
Shut t'coffin. Good luck.
547
00:22:55,280 --> 00:22:56,920
MOBILE RINGTONE
548
00:22:56,920 --> 00:22:58,720
Oh, God! No.
549
00:22:58,720 --> 00:23:00,240
SHE TUTS
550
00:23:03,120 --> 00:23:05,280
WHISPERS: Grandma, I can't talk.
I'm in a coffin.
551
00:23:05,280 --> 00:23:06,720
What? A coffin.
552
00:23:06,720 --> 00:23:08,640
Why? Yeah, don't ask.
553
00:23:08,640 --> 00:23:10,240
We need to talk. Yeah, fine.
554
00:23:10,240 --> 00:23:12,640
I'll bring pasties. Bye.
Meat and potato... Bye. ..for me.
555
00:23:13,640 --> 00:23:15,000
God...
556
00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:16,880
SPOOKY VOICES ECHO
557
00:23:16,880 --> 00:23:18,480
CHATTER
558
00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:20,280
ECHOING SCREAMS
559
00:23:20,280 --> 00:23:23,880
Your soul is mi-i-ine!
560
00:23:23,880 --> 00:23:26,240
SCREECHY: Welcome to hell!
561
00:23:27,360 --> 00:23:29,040
Yeah, shit in here.
562
00:23:29,040 --> 00:23:31,520
Definitely you, that.
Definitely you, dickhead.
563
00:23:31,520 --> 00:23:32,920
Was it me?
564
00:23:32,920 --> 00:23:34,560
Happens all t'time.
565
00:23:35,600 --> 00:23:38,320
BELL RINGS
Round two.
566
00:23:39,560 --> 00:23:40,960
I feel quite deflated.
567
00:23:40,960 --> 00:23:42,960
DOOR CREAKS
568
00:23:42,960 --> 00:23:45,560
85, 86,
569
00:23:45,560 --> 00:23:48,400
87, 88,
570
00:23:48,400 --> 00:23:50,920
89, 90...
DOOR CLOSES
571
00:23:50,920 --> 00:23:53,400
91, 92,
572
00:23:53,400 --> 00:23:55,680
93... Hello-o-o!
573
00:23:55,680 --> 00:23:57,880
Oh, bloody hell.
What have YOU come as?
574
00:23:57,880 --> 00:23:59,600
A ghoul. Don't ask.
575
00:23:59,600 --> 00:24:01,360
Why's Jim got an apple on his head?
576
00:24:01,360 --> 00:24:04,200
Posture. He slumps too much.
Don't you, Jim?
577
00:24:04,200 --> 00:24:05,520
Apparently.
578
00:24:05,520 --> 00:24:07,200
Pasties.
579
00:24:07,200 --> 00:24:08,800
Mm? Come on!
580
00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:12,320
There you go.
581
00:24:12,320 --> 00:24:13,880
Here y'are.
Is this why you got me here?
582
00:24:13,880 --> 00:24:16,120
No. Just to be
a pasty Deliveroo service?
583
00:24:16,120 --> 00:24:18,880
No. I've got something to discuss
actually.
584
00:24:18,880 --> 00:24:20,120
No.
585
00:24:20,120 --> 00:24:21,760
I'm not getting into another long
discussion
586
00:24:21,760 --> 00:24:23,360
about why you've got
five horoscopes.
587
00:24:24,720 --> 00:24:26,080
I do!
588
00:24:26,080 --> 00:24:28,280
I understand the Virgo to Leo thing.
589
00:24:28,280 --> 00:24:31,000
I can even get on board
with the ascending to Scorpio.
590
00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:34,880
But you can't claim Taurus and Libra
just cos they feel "more you".
591
00:24:34,880 --> 00:24:37,520
Don't undermine
what I feel cosmically, Alma.
592
00:24:37,520 --> 00:24:41,200
I've been here before. Who knows
what star sign I was in a past life?
593
00:24:41,200 --> 00:24:43,080
Come on, Jim! Jim?
594
00:24:43,080 --> 00:24:44,160
MUFFLED CHATTER
595
00:24:44,160 --> 00:24:47,960
Jim, do I or do I not have a Taurus
the Bull energy in the morning?
596
00:24:50,520 --> 00:24:51,560
Mum?!
597
00:24:55,800 --> 00:24:58,280
Lin?! What the fuck are you doing?!
598
00:24:58,280 --> 00:24:59,840
Yes, it's me!
599
00:24:59,840 --> 00:25:01,440
I've come to take him back
600
00:25:01,440 --> 00:25:03,120
because he's mine!
601
00:25:04,200 --> 00:25:06,200
Jim! Get out of that van now!
602
00:25:06,200 --> 00:25:07,800
Right now! Come on.
603
00:25:07,800 --> 00:25:09,600
SHE CLICKS TONGUE
Come on. Ch-ch-ch-ch!
604
00:25:09,600 --> 00:25:10,880
Pss-pss-pss. I'm not a pet!
605
00:25:10,880 --> 00:25:12,200
I'm a person!
606
00:25:12,200 --> 00:25:14,040
Oh. Drive!
ENGINE STARTS
607
00:25:15,400 --> 00:25:16,720
TYRES SCREECH
608
00:25:18,520 --> 00:25:19,760
Oh...
609
00:25:21,400 --> 00:25:22,880
What a clusterfuck.
610
00:25:22,880 --> 00:25:24,320
Oh...
611
00:25:25,400 --> 00:25:26,640
Bloody hell.
612
00:25:32,280 --> 00:25:34,280
Are you all right, Grandma?
I thought...
613
00:25:34,280 --> 00:25:36,120
I thought we were having
a nice time.
614
00:25:36,120 --> 00:25:37,560
Thought he was happy here.
615
00:25:37,560 --> 00:25:40,520
He's a schizophrenic who's in love
with a drug addict.
616
00:25:40,520 --> 00:25:42,680
I mean,
who knows what makes him happy?
617
00:25:42,680 --> 00:25:44,360
What the fuck has she done that for?
618
00:25:45,560 --> 00:25:46,760
Alma...
619
00:25:48,000 --> 00:25:49,920
I need to tell you something.
620
00:25:49,920 --> 00:25:53,000
But don't go all flappy on me,
like you do.
621
00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:54,560
Why, what is it?
622
00:25:54,560 --> 00:25:56,320
Right, I went to the doctor's...
623
00:25:56,320 --> 00:25:59,360
..um, a bit ago,
624
00:25:59,360 --> 00:26:01,600
and I had my bloods done,
625
00:26:01,600 --> 00:26:02,920
scans.
626
00:26:04,120 --> 00:26:05,960
I've got cancer. Lung.
627
00:26:07,640 --> 00:26:10,520
What? I've got cancer.
628
00:26:12,640 --> 00:26:16,400
Well...how bad is it? What...what...
what stage is it?
629
00:26:16,400 --> 00:26:18,880
Oh, God.
I'm not getting into that now.
630
00:26:18,880 --> 00:26:20,760
Well, what...what do we do now?
631
00:26:20,760 --> 00:26:22,120
What do you mean, what do we do now?
632
00:26:22,120 --> 00:26:24,520
We don't do anything now.
That's it, finished, done.
633
00:26:26,200 --> 00:26:27,680
SHE CLEARS THROAT
634
00:26:29,600 --> 00:26:32,920
The doctor said it was one of the
biggest tumours he'd ever seen.
635
00:26:32,920 --> 00:26:34,640
He said it was almost impressive.
636
00:26:34,640 --> 00:26:37,560
I don't think that's something
to brag about, Grandma.
637
00:26:39,200 --> 00:26:40,760
I should've been here.
638
00:26:40,760 --> 00:26:42,080
I should've come back.
639
00:26:42,080 --> 00:26:43,880
Why didn't you tell me?
640
00:26:45,840 --> 00:26:47,280
Oh, come on. Lighten up.
641
00:26:48,720 --> 00:26:51,200
You look as white as a ghost.
642
00:26:51,200 --> 00:26:52,760
SHE CHUCKLES SOFTLY
643
00:26:54,600 --> 00:26:56,560
Come on.
644
00:26:56,560 --> 00:26:58,200
TOOT!
645
00:26:58,200 --> 00:27:00,800
What, you want me
to start smoking these now, do you?
646
00:27:00,800 --> 00:27:02,160
Great.
647
00:27:02,160 --> 00:27:03,640
LOW HONK
648
00:27:05,360 --> 00:27:07,800
Come on. It's going to be fine.
649
00:27:07,800 --> 00:27:09,160
You're mad.
650
00:27:09,160 --> 00:27:10,200
TOOT!
651
00:27:11,400 --> 00:27:12,920
TOOT!
652
00:27:12,920 --> 00:27:14,400
SHE COUGHS
653
00:27:15,960 --> 00:27:17,520
TOOT!
654
00:27:17,520 --> 00:27:20,920
I notice a lot
655
00:27:20,920 --> 00:27:24,880
The world is a silent place
656
00:27:24,880 --> 00:27:29,000
Where talking never stops
657
00:27:29,000 --> 00:27:35,640
Tracing your hand,
it all seems so far away
658
00:27:35,640 --> 00:27:40,480
When our heads are in the sand
659
00:27:40,480 --> 00:27:43,120
Time is eroding
660
00:27:43,120 --> 00:27:50,200
But I see the magic
in the moment...
661
00:27:50,250 --> 00:27:54,800
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
45954
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Czech
Danish
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish (Latin American)
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof