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The most beautiful moments of my life. I feel a longing.

THE YOUTH CLUB

It was the summer I dreamt of Greek gods and Africa.

The summer I went in search of abandoned holiday homes.

The summer I drowned in whole milk with cocoa powder.

The summer I had to hide food to be in my own skin.

The summer we lost the club but found each other.

- grossly, grossly pissed. I was ridiculously wasted.

- And they told me ... - Hey, Zara.

... that I fucking kissed like crazy.

- How embarrassing! - I don't remember any of it!

- Zara, come. - Yeah ...

We're on our way to Bispebjerg Hospital.

Blow my whistle baby.

- Do you want me to come? - Take the bike. We're in a hurry.

- Yeah. - You're so slow.

I can't help it.

I'm the kind of person who takes her time.

I'm really bummed out over it, but you can't be sad all the time.

I waste too much time being super sad.

So now I'll ride my noisy bike.

I don't like being nervous.

So I try to ignore it when it starts ...

... the nervousness.

I can't get tanned or anything. I'm always pale.

You can see my veins... and I've got scars.

Little white scars.

I just feel like... like I'm a laughing stock.

And I yearn for someone who genuinely wants to hang out with me

I'm looking for stuff that makes me sad.

Because sadness is a more powerful emotion than happiness.

I could be glad and think about stuff that doesn't upset me -

- but I don't want to.

Now I feel ready to be productive -

- instead of just looking at my blog all day going:

"Oh, so cute, so cute, so cute."

People look at me weirdly. Like they don't really believe in me.

Like they expect me to fail.

I don't even believe in myself. But it's now or never. I have to do it now.

Smoking and bottles in the locker room are strictly prohibited.

- Is anybody catching me? - No.

Fuck you.

- No! Then I can't walk. - Fuck that.

It's gotta be insta worthy.

Does it hurt, Mathilde?

I look like a fucking dick and I can't get up.

Give me some Viagra.

Let me do it myself, okay?

Oh, my God, you're so gross. It almost hit me!

Can I take it off now? I'm dizzy.

- Check this out! - Damn!

I look like a fucking octopus!

- Then you just fall flat on your face. - It's totally what we were waiting for.

- You can do it. Work it, girl. - No pressure!

I'm not really afraid of anything.

I'm not afraid of ... things.

You know, physical things like spiders -

- or cobwebs or monsters under my bed.

I'm not afraid of falling ...

Falling and hitting my head, or of going out at night.

But I am afraid of myself -

- and my thoughts and my persona -

- and... my impulsiveness.

Anyways ... That's what I'm afraid of.

Welcome to MULLE'S PLACE

If we gather it here it'll look like its lips.

It looks like a big slug.

It's nice that you're making costumes considering you´ve never done it before.

We just thought it could be fun.

- It's stuck in my hair. - Calm yourself.

No! You're not the one with glue in your hair.

I don't want to have glue in my fucking hair.

I don't want to ... I'm upset. Mia, don't!

So you'll walk around going: "Yip, yip, yip."

Don't be so pessimistic. It's a nice idea.

People will just think it's a freak in a Yip Yip costume.

Why don't we use ski masks and look fucking gangsta?

Listen ... if you put on a ski mask, you're busted on the spot.

If someone comes in in a ski mask they'll think:

"Okay, that person is gonna rob my store."

If you come in as a Yip Yip they'll probably think: Street theater.

You're just like the girls that go: "Let's do something silly".

"Let's do something super fun".

We'll dress in crushed velvet and walk down main street."

You can take the yellow one. We bought fabric for you, too.

Oh! You got a yellow one, too! I hadn't noticed!

- Oh, my God. Now I do want to! - Damn, you're annoying.

This was our idea!

- No gown for you then. - Fine.

- Fuck you, Eja! - She sucks.

I can't be alone and feel good about myself.

I only feel right when I'm around people who know me.

Then I feel like myself.

I don't feel like myself when I'm alone.

I feel like I don't matter. If I died now, no one would know -

- because I'm all alone.

Getting any pussy?

- Pussy, pussy, pussy. - Pussy, pussy, pussy ...

No, I'm not. She's travelling.

- For a year. - A year?!

- She's been gone for a year. - But she comes back next week?

- Today. - You're seeing her today?

Yeah, but she won't let me pick her up at the airport.

- So who's picking her up? - Her uncle.

She was like: "I have to give him some stuff." I asked if I could come.

"No, that'd be awkward." I asked: "When can we see each other?"

And she was like: "Come to my place afterwards."

"Not if I can't pick you up. See you sunday." And she was like: "Okay."

LOL. You're supposed to say: "No! I want to see you!"

SUPERINTENDENT

- Hi - Hi.

I was told to come here.

I'd like to sign up for the youth club.

- Have a seat. What's your name? - Ida.

I'm Søren. In order to sign up for the youth club -

- you must fill out a registration form with your name and address.

- I'll give you a membership number. - Yes.

You'll need it the next time you arrive at the youth club

Then we'll know who you are.

Can I bring my dog?

- Yes ... - I can?!

That's a good question. Normally, you can't.

And you can't in the future. It's a big club with many members.

If everyone brought their dog, we'd turn into a kennel.

- Hi. - Omg!

- Who are you? - I'm Ida.

- That's a big dog. - It's called Ida, too.

- You're both Ida? How come? - I named it after myself.

Wow...

- It actually suits you. - It feels like a sheep.

- Hi. I'm Mathilde. - Okay. Hi, Mathilde.

- Where are you from? - Maribo.

- It's on Lolland. - Yeah.

- Oh, my God. That's far away. - So you're from the provinces.

- Yeah, I'm super provincial. - Is it Fyn or Sjælland?

- Lolland! - But where?

- South of Sjælland. - Oh, my god, Eja.

- She's from the South.

- What shoe size are you?

- 36. - Fuck, you have tiny feet.

- Well, I'm not very tall. - You're kinda like a pygmy ...

- Pygmy? - Fuck you.

Isn't that tiny people?

- Pygmy! - Isn't that hobbits?

- Aren't they just midgets? - No. They're just small.

- And you're pretty small. - But I'm not a pygmy. I'm just short.

- Do you have a boyfriend? - Yeah.

- Is he from Lolland, too? - No, from Fyn. Odense.

- What's he called? - Jan.

Funny name.

- Where did you meet him? - On Instagram.

Funny... That's a funny way to meet somebody.

- How long have you been together? - For 18 months.

That's a long time. It must be kinda serious.

- We're engaged. - Engaged?!

- Engaged? - Oh, I forgot my ring!

- Fuck! - Where is it?

- You're kidding me, right? - No, I forgot it!

You're not really engaged?

- I am! - So where did you forget your ring?

At home in the bathroom. I took it off when I showered.

Is that a bad thing?

I feel like ... fuck. I always wear it.

- Why are you engaged? - Because we love each other.

You know ... Why do people get engaged?

- When are you getting married? - When I'm 18.

- How old is he? - Older than me...

- How old are you? - 15.

Nice. Three more years.

I can't figure her out. She's a mix of everything.

I think that's also part of her charm.

- But I really think she can be a bitch. - Yeah, I agree.

She kinda has this attitude.

I can't figure out if it's a sense of superiority or ...

- I think it's just her personality. - Maybe she's just marking the territory.

- Is bitch a bad thing? - Yeah. A bitch is someone who bitches.

That's what we're doing right now.

We're bitches, but it's all about how you ...

You can do it nicely or ugly...

This game is so slow.

It's because it's so big, and because we're a bunch of fucking bitches.

My stomach is like ... if you see it from above -

- I don't have much of a waist.

And I have a weird belly button.

I hate my stretchmarks. I have them all over.

Under my arms and on my legs, between my butt cheeks and on my butt.

On my thighs and my knees. On top of my knees.

I'm bothered by it.

- because everything's supposed to be smooth and pretty.

Like all the pretty images and dolls -

- with beautiful smooth skin. But that's not what skin looks like.

My breasts are like ... They're almost like the chest of a man.

The nipples are seriously far apart -

- and my breasts are flat and small.

My legs are ... I think they're kinda big -

- and the scars are everywhere.

Many of them are a dark and really prominent.

I wish they weren't there.

Don't be so hard on yourself.

Don't be so hard on yourself. Don't be so hard on yourself.

Don't be so hard on yourself.

Don't be so hard on yourself. Don't be so hard on yourself.

BITCH!

- Where's Maja? - Come on, Mathilde! You're so fucking slow.

So sick.

Fuck, nigga. Get out of here.

- Anyone can do that. - Trust me, it's difficult.

- Butterfly is fucking difficult. - Yeah.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.

One, two, three, four, five six, seven, eight.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.

- At least you have friends. - Don't you?

- I'd like to be your friend. - You are my friend.

I have some friends. Not many. And none in my class.

- They're fine classmates, but not ... - Not your friends. I know the feeling.

They're nice and all, but it's just ...

- You're not coming to my place-ish'. - Right.

It's annoying that they're all driven to school and spoiled.

- And there you are on the train. - Yeah.

And they go on vacation three times a year.

- I can't afford vacations. - Me neither.

- I've been on vacation once. - Once?

- Yeah?

- You've been on a few more. - Yeah, but not a lot.

- Where are you from? - I'm from Hareskov.

- That's the last stop. - No, that's Farum.

- Oh, Hareskov is two stops prior. - Yeah, or three.

Funny.

- It's still close to Copenhagen. - Yeah, 20 minutes by train?

Yeah. How do you know where Hareskov is?

I don't know. I know you can have a harelip.

And that reminds me that there's a station called Hareskov.

That's hilarious. My uncle lives right over there.

- Why are you living with your uncle? - I've never really met my dad.

Oh okay. He's just kinda ... Long gone.

He does what they all do ... I don't mean to be harsh, but all the negroes.

All black folks have a dad who is hungry for more.

And takes advantage of his skin color. When you're colored -

- all the girls want you. That's my dad.

I feel you.

- There. - Ouch!

- Fuck, you're stupid. - Shut up.

I'm not stupid.

- Hello, I can't see anything. - Open your eyes.

Blow it in our faces.

- In mine, too! - Sorry.

- It smells fucking nice. - Normally, it stinks.

- Chewing gum, Play-Doh ... - Play-Doh?

It's like a mix of Play-Doh and chewing gum.

It's fucking fire.

BOYS

Moving on to the condom, the most used form of birth control.

We brought green ones, but you can get them in all colors and flavors.

What you need to know about the condom:

It's 100% safe. It protects you from STDs and pregnancy.

So we'll have a condom race -

- where all of you try to roll on a condom.

And you'll be blindfolded.

So if you'll come up here and divide into two teams.

Yes.

Hey, Ida.

- How about you, Sara? - I don't want to.

Would you hold Ida? Just hold her. She's a bit of a ...

It's really good to be able to put on a condom in case the boy can't do it.

But maybe you ...

... don't have to learn it in front... of everybody, if you don't want to.

Right. You don't want to even try?

Okay...

It's okay to say no, if it's outside your comfort zone.

Right, because I'd actually already said no -

- but then ... yeah ...

- Is the first team ready? - Three, two, one, start!

How do you give a good blowjob?

As a boy, I should know...

To me, it's about ...

Boys are very different.

It varies from one boy to the next.

But one thing that's important is that the girl seems to enjoy it.

The boy might think: Are you just doing it for me?

It's probably a lot of fun, right? I wouldn't know.

I do it to... please my boyfriend.

I don't do it for my own enjoyment.

I'm kinda on the same page. I'm picky about -

- whom I give blowjobs to. I wouldn't give it to anyone.

And it's like ... If they respect you ...

Some boys press your head down so hard, you practically choke on it.

And it's like ... It's about respect.

He shouldn't cross the line by telling you to take it all the way or ...

Some just come in your mouth, too ... without warning you or anything ...

That's also quite barrier-breaking for a lot people ...

And it kinda depends on how you feel about that person.

But then again some may just ...

We all have different desires, and some girls get turned on by blowjobs ...

You talk as if we're only fucking with the opposite gender.

As if sex is only between a man and a woman. That kinda sucks.

And as if we're only to have sex if we're in love, you know?

- It's sort of boring ... - It lacks in dynamic or something?

- Yes ... - Yeah, mabye you're right ...

You don't learn anything new.

Right, but it's difficult for us because we don't want to be fake and say:

"I tried this and that," and lie to you. We're only talking from experience.

Then wouldn't it be smart to get people with different stories?

Yes, we're trying. But not many people are comfortable being a Sexualist.

It's kinda taboo. So ... yeah.

- It's nice that you do it. - Thanks.

That's pretty much what we had to share with you.

Oh, my God! A wasp right at my ear.

You're such a girl, Eja!

Girl. That's not being a girl, you fucking white dick.

- Fuck, that was sexist. - Yeah, I'm sorry.

And back he comes.

- Why is he stopping here? - Who the fuck is it?

LOL, a showoff. Oh, my God.

- No, it's Ida's boyfriend. - No, no, no.

Omg, it's her boyfriend! What the fuck!

- He's fucking old. - How old do you think he is?

- I thought he was 19. - Around 22.

Oh, my God.

Come on, girls. We're staring.

You're allowed to stare at a car like that.

- They kissed, right? - Yeah.

- It was her boyfriend. - I thought it was her brother.

Or dad...

Outdated aesthetic.

What are you talking about?

Outdated aesthetic. Eggs. It's last season. Don't you know?

No.

- You, of all people should know. - That eggs are outdated aesthetic?

'Eggsthetic'.

Egg, yes. That's actually what they called it.

Past tense. It's last season.

I have no clue what you're talking about.

There were tons of T-shirts with egg. Where have you been?

Oh! No, that's ...

It looks a lot like a dick.

Okay, what is it?

A snake I think. But a really ugly ...

Now I'm doing your hair.

Nice.

I really like this toilet.

It's fucking beautiful. It suits your hair.

Yeah. Crazy.

Nice.

- Have you ever watched Hentai? - Yeah.

Yes ... no. No, not really, no.

Turn your head, honey.

- Why do you ask? - I found some that's kinda cool.

- What did you do yesterday? - The sexists were visiting.

Sexists! They're not called sexists!

The Sexualists.

Sexists, yeah.

- LOL. - Yeah, LOL.

- They only talked about straight sex. - What? That would've given me a rash.

I told them it sucked that they all had, like, the same story.

But they didn't have anyone gay in their group right now.

- I thought you were harsh on them. - Me?

- Yes. - Oh. I'm sorry.

What did you say, Ida?

I just gave them constructive criticism.

- It wasn't very constructive. - I told them how they could improve.

- You've never been to a party? - Sure, but not here.

Oh, I thought you'd never been to any party!

- You've never been to a party? - Sure, but not this one.

- Let's just overdo it and totally own it. - As always.

What the fuck?

- So awkward. - Look at them dancing.

No one is down with it. They're just sitting there ...

I knew it would be a bit lame because it's a soft drink party.

But I never thought it would be this lame.

Girls, I don't give a shit. Let's fuck it up!

I'm over it!

Shitty party!

Shitty party!

- Stop it! - Maja, relax for God's sake!

Girls, I'm not having it! If you don't like the party, leave.

It's not a party for troublemakers.

- We're leaving this 'party'! - Girls, we're outta here!

Fuck this shit.

Bye!

- Fuck off. - I'm outta here.

There's a lot of slugs on the road at night.

Lately I've been completely emotionally numb.

I haven't been able to feel anything. I don't know why.

But suddenly all these emotions flooded through me.

Happiness and sadness.

I've really felt like I've had no freedom at all.

Like a caged animal... I've felt that way for a really long time.

And for the first time in ages I've felt hunger.

I just don't want to go back to Bispebjerg Hospital.

I wish my mom would understand.

But she can't.

- Have you had a good day so far? - Yeah, its' been all right.

- What have you been up to? - Eating...

- What about you, Mathilde? - Chilling with my bae.

- Nice. - Super niiiiice.

- Hi, Zara. - Hi, there.

What are you doing?

- I'm making a hanging mobile. - Oh, okay.

Wow... Awesome doll.

- It's just one I found. - Where?

Where my dad lives. In the yard. It was just lying there.

- Like in the container? - Yeah, yeah, or ...

It was out of place, surrounded by toilets and old stuff. So ...

It's really nice that you made one eye red -

- and gutted it, or whatever you call it.

Thanks. It's almost done.

It just needs to dry off. Unless I think of something else.

- So you can't hold it up yet? - No, not in this ...

I need to find a way to hang it.

Wow, it's wild. It's like a dreamcatcher.

Is something written on it?

Yes. It says: What are girls?

Cool!

It's very girly in its colors.

But it's also really avant-garde.

The earrings are so pretty.

- It's really beautiful. - The earrings are a good idea.

The baby head is awesome, and with those eyes... all empty and black.

They have pupils but it looks kinda radical.

I didn't know you were doing this.

No. I don't think anybody ...

There are a lot of those.

Hm, I was really inspired by them.

I went to an Indian store to get them once, but the lady was offended.

It was as if I was doing something bad to her culture.

That's probably because they use it when they get married.

At ceremonies and stuff.

It's like ... if you put it on your forehead but aren't going anywhere.

And aren't Indian at all.

- Yeah. - I'm sorry, but I have to go.

- Where are you going? - Uhm ... just to see the doctor.

Yes, okay.

- I guess I'll see you. - Aren't you coming back today?

Not today. I don't think I have the time.

Feel better.

- See you tomorrow? - Yes.

- See you tomorrow. - See you.

I hope we're not having pork chops. That's the worst.

I love it when we have rice. We always have potatoes, and I hate potatoes.

There's no getting around whole milk.

But we have vegetarian days. That's kinda nice.

They have a weekly schedule, or a schedule they follow -

- so that you get the same menu every other week.

So every other Thursday it's chicken breast-ish.

Every other Monday you get rice and some curry stuff ...

No, not curry. Thai. I like that.

Sometimes we have falafel. But a lot of the girls can't handle it -

- because they think they get too many calories.

But I'm just like, I'd rather have falafel than pork chop. Like.

Aw, that's seriously nice.

Yoghurt art.

I love green bananas.

Okay, let's do it.

- Hooray! - Congratulations, Maja!

- Do you see the shape of the cake? - It's a nipple piercing.

- It's so dee-lish. - Aw, you're so sweet. I'm so happy!

- This is real marzipan, right? - Yeah, it's good.

- Hi again. - Hi, Zara.

Come have some cake.

There was a nipple on it, but I ate it.

- Do you want cake? - No thanks, I just ate.

Where have you been?

That's actually kind of a long story.

- Tell us about it. - Yeah...

It's because I've had an eating disorder for a long time.

It's called anorexia, but I don't like calling it that -

- because it kinda signals something not very nice.

I've just had it for a really long time.

And now I've started outpatient treatment.

So I have to go there every day to eat with them.

That's why. They have to make sure I get food, you know.

- Nice that you tell us. - Awesome that you've got the guts.

- Yeah. - You go, girl.

I just think it's important. It's not really a taboo.

Not at all. It's pretty normal.

It's awesome that you talk about it because then others -

- will stop keeping it secret.

And then it'll stop being all secretive-like.

It's also really impressive you're getting help.

I think it sucks that I have to be there. I'd rather be here.

But I have to be there every single day from 12 p.m. till 3 p.m.

Sometimes in the evening as well.

- How annoying. - Yeah...

Can I ask you something? How did your parents react?

They're the ones that put me there. It wasn't me.

I don't think I'm sick like that.

Of course, I know that it's not very healthy -

- but tons of people are underweight. So why me?

But ... But I came to Bispebjerg hospital for the first time when I was 11.

Shit.

Then I was out for a year, but then they took me back there.

I'm afraid I'll give up again. I do it once a year.

I hit rock bottom. And each time, I get more depressed.

The last time I never thought I'd be able to move on.

I thought it was the end. There was nothing left for me.

No reason to live ...

Sometimes it just seems like ...

I'm afraid of myself because I think -

- that it's easier to be depressed than fight to stay well.

Being happy is fucking hard. It's hard to get out of bed in the morning -

- and it's hard to do everyday stuff -

- like showering or trimming your nails. It's fucking hard.

And it shouldn't be! But it is!

And I'm fucking sick of it.

I'm tired of not being normal and not having normal thoughts.

YOU + ARE + GONNA + GET + BY

The authorities can't expect you to live on your own -

- without getting money from them for food and stuff.

- It's called a job. - Yeah, but you're only 16.

Yeah.

They can't expect her to just drop out of school.

No, but it's ... I don't know.

Mia managed on her own.

- Yeah, but she chose it. - That's true.

- Did you move out at 16? - I was 17.

Local authorities suck.

But it's nice they give you the option.

I don't have the option to live at home.

- Man, that sucks. - Yeah...

That's why I have to go live by myself -

- and play 'Mathilde can cook and everything'. I can't.

- Silence. - It's okay. Silence is a good thing.

It only gets awkward when you comment on it.

I don't think so. I smiled and looked around.

- Why? - I smile when everyone's quiet.

I like silence.

It's a really bad solution.

Well, it's better for the dog.

No! She likes it here. It doesn't bother her at all.

She didn't bite the furniture. If people had a problem, they'd probably tell me.

- Ida, don't call me a liar. - But I don't believe you.

I'm giving you concrete examples.

- No. - So ... yes.

- I don't believe you. - The decision is: No dogs.

You have to follow the rules. If you bring the dog, you won't get in.

- Well, that's your problem then. - I'll inform the staff.

"If Ida brings the dog, it cannot come inside."

I don't think it's fair.

You make at place for young people, and now they can't come.

Without dogs. We're not a place for youngsters and dogs.

- It doesn't make any sense. - Yes, it does.

- No. It doesn't make any sense. - You're old enough to think about it.

- So, that's the decision. - You're fucking stupid.

- That may be. - I don't wanna look at you right now.

Okay, fine.

Hi, honey.

- I need to tell you something. - You can tell me anything.

It's because ... I really want to be a boy.

- What? What do you mean? - It feels all wrong.

- I can't do this anymore. I want to be a boy. - Okay, baby. I'll support you.

- I love you. - I love you, too.

- But you have to tell your parents. - Alright. I promise.

I've struggled with my gender for a long time.

And I don't know what to do. You see I want to ...

So you're gay, or?

Are you gay?

In a way...

It's just ... I really want to be a boy.

- What? - What?

I want to be a boy. I feel all wrong.

Oh, my God. I want my big sister not a big brother.

- Quiet, Estella. We're talking. - Shut up, Estella. You're so annoying.

Vanessa and Estella, your mother and I will have a little talk.

Yes, Vanessa, we raised a daughter -

- That you're not grateful for that, makes us really sad.

- I 'am' grateful! - No, you're not!

If you want to be our son and not our daughter -

- you must find another place to stay.

- because we want Estella and Vanessa. Not some boy.

- Dad, you don't understand! - Yes, I do!

You're the one who doesn't understand. You're our Vanessa.

- Inside I'm Kim! - Kim? Get out of here.

I shouldn't feel lonely. I really shouldn't feel lonely.

There are lots of people who love me. I know that very well.

But I still feel that way.

It's so empty in here.

Really, really empty.

Horribly empty.

Long nails are pretty if you just ...

If you can keep them nice and clean. But I can't.

We've noticed.

I'm so nasty.

- Yeah. - You know what?

Emil always has all sorts of shit under his finger nails.

Yuck. Ask him to trim them.

I think it's because he smokes a lot of dope.

- It gets stuck there. - So he has dope under his nails.

The last thing you'd want in your pussy is hash.

Help me! My pussy is showing!

Grab this. Grab on!

- No, okay ... - I can't!

- Check it out! - Fuck, that's cool.

- Can we swap? - Of course.

- Thanks. - You're welcome.

You don't use the lilac ones, so there are tons of lilac ones for me.

- Nice. That's perfect. - Win-win.

How long do you think you'll have to do the ...

I mean, how long will you be at the hospital and stuff?

I honestly don't know.

All I know is that I have to reach a certain weight before they let me out.

- But I don't know what that is. - They won't tell you?

Well, they haven't calculated it yet.

But they think it's way off still, so I don't need to know.

Shouldn't it be about how you're feeling.

I was told today that when you're underweight -

- even if it's just by one kilo, your brain shrinks -

- and then you have to regain your brain size -

- before it can start to ... Yeah... but -

- I'm so much against it because they don't think it makes a difference.

You're not at all healthier as long as you're not exactly where they want.

- That's kinda stupid. - As if I haven't gotten anywhere.

It's just ... It makes no sense.

It makes no sense to my dad either.

It's my mother and me. We're alone in this.

He disagrees so much that he can't?

He doesn't really want to be a part of my treatment process.

But I'm kinda fine with that.

Why are you guys throwing so much nice stuff away?

- Because the youth club is closing. - It's closing?!

- Why? - Some politicians made that decision.

This seriously sucks.

- Let's promise to stay in touch. - Sure, of course.

But it really sucks that there's no place where you can be free -

- and creative and do whatever you want to.

We could visit each other but then there are parents.

And we won't all be together.

Seriously. We'll never sit at this table again.

- Don't say that! - That's so sad.

We could ... I don't know ... Throw a goodbye party.

Yes, we should have a goodbye party.

We can use the stuff they throw out. And then find some place ...

- We could throw an art exhibition. - Oh, my God, yes!

- An art exhibition. - Or a play or something.

- That would be fucking nice. - And art exhibition would be awesome!

- Søren! - He's probably not in here.

Well, maybe he can hear us.

Relax, man.

I want a slushy.

- He's not in the art room? - Who could imagine Søren in there?

- It wouldn't be that Søren-ish. - He's not here.

Søren!

- It's locked. - Then he's probably not in there.

- He might be in his office. - Søren?

- Søren! There you are. - Hey.

- What are you doing? - I'm packing.

So ...

We were wondering ... It's only a week till the club closes -

- so could we throw some sort of goodbye party?

- A party. - An art exhibition.

- Or a concert. - Interesting. Tell me more.

- You mean, what it would include? - Yes.

We would invite our friends and parents to say goodbye in style.

- With music, art, balloons, food. - Tons and tons of soap bubbles.

And perhaps reminisce about the fun stuff we did here.

- And this is a serious idea? - Yeah, yeah. Of course.

Not just something random. As usual.

- We'll arrange everything. - Then I guess I'll have to say yes.

Save some hot water for the next team. Thank you!

Oh, my God!

Three, two, one ...

- You're making it worse. - I'm not cleaning this mess.

It gets hot where you're sitting.

- That's because we're peeing. - No way! Are you serious?

How do you know they don't get into your bum?

- You'd feel it. - I'd feel it in my pussy.

Do you think the chemicals will leak out?

- You worry too much, Sara. - Isn't it nice to sit in?

It's cold at the center.

- Isn't it nice? - Don't you get wet?

- Is my face wet? - Yes, it's dripping.

So cold, so cold!

I'd love to make some cool clothing for my art project.

And put it on one of the dolls that look like mannequins.

The one you fit the clothes on.

- The headless one? - Yeah.

And then make a crazy dress for it out of something weird.

- That would be nice. - What projects will you all do?

I'm not sure. I'm still thinking about it.

I have some dolls at home that I'll paint or something.

Maybe sew some clothes for them. Like what Ira said.

I'll make clothes, but in miniature sizes.

I think I'll take pictures of myself licking on different stuff.

- Licking stuff? Why? - For fun.

It would be so cool with a collage of me licking like 100 different things.

With your crazy-long tongue.

Piggy and I are sitting at the bus stop after the one where we got on -

- because there were so many Muslims on the bus, and they were yelling at me.

So I left. It was fucking scary. So yeah ... That happened.

- Ask the meat eater if they'll do it. - They think it's gross, too.

- Argh, it smells. - Yeah, like bacon chips.

Fuck! This is ridiculously gross.

It's awesome.

Does it look better with the rim around this drawing?

- In a way. - Did you just draw these, Ida?

Yeah.

It's quite human to be afraid of the unknown.

I've never been afraid of dying, but suddenly I am.

- Did that happen recently? - Yeah, like ...

Relatively recently, you might say.

How come?

I think it's because my dad died of cancer -

- and then you start thinking:

"That won't happen. Not to me. Maybe on TV."

It's like ...

It's as if your reality is torn away from underneath you.

And then you think: If the unthinkable could happen -

- a feather could fall on me, and I'd die in this instant."

But still you shouldn't walk around afraid of it.

We're young, and a lot of people say that when you're young, you're immortal.

- But you should always feel immortal. - Yeah, I agree.

Then you won't experience being dead in that sense -

- because you can also be a living dead.

Wait. What?

I just think that if there's no process in your life -

- you're kinda dead, too. You're stagnant.

True.

- I've put on more than you. - Your stickers are easier to put up.

- Do you want some of the others? - I don't know. I'm not in the mood.

Maja, why are you so crappy?

It's been a really bad day.

The new school fucking isn't what I expected.

- Didn't you choose that media school? - Yes, but the other students really suck.

I thought I'd meet some nice people to go to techno parties with.

Well, you're there to learn.

It's no fun when you don't have friends.

You will. I'm sure they're not totally unbearable.

You weren't there. You didn't see them.

- I want to attend an art school. - So why don't you?

Because my parents don't want me to.

So your parents won't let you choose your own education? That sucks.

Yeah. My dad says I'll end up as a discount cashier.

- What does your dad do? - He's a carpenter.

Not exactly the fanciest education.

No, but he just wants me to get an education.

And you will.

Everyone expects me to know what I want -

- and to be all grown up -

- and for me to live up to people's expectations.

I really feel that my mom and dad ...

I feel that I haven't lived up to their expectations -

- and that they just hate me.

I just wish that ...

... they would be proud of me, but I ...

It's like they say: I don't accomplish anything.

And I'm like ... I wish I was doing something.

But nothing I ever do is good enough.

I feel like a huge failure.

DAD

MOM

DAD

MOM

DAD

MOM

DAD

MOM

DAD

MOM

DAD

MOM

You can't just tell us to burn our favorite teddy bear.

It's supposed to be hard, that's why.

But couldn't you have told us in advance?

No. The point is that it should be hard.

- I don't want to ... No. - Girls, get a grip.

Think about something that's holding you back.

Sometimes I have to be like ... I shouldn't listen to my dad's bullshit.

I will amount to something even though I don't know what.

- Shit. - Oh, my God!

It's Hello Kitty. It looks so creepy.

I am letting go of the thought that everyone's thinking -

- that I haven't been ...

... that I can't do anything right just because I'm a kid.

You're just branded a small ignorant person.

And I'm letting go of that.

I'm letting go of my depression.

I want to let go of my 11-year-old self -

- who was really ill and marked the beginning to my disease.

And I'd like to let go of my disease, but I'll start at the beginning.

Honestly, I don't give a fuck about the fire and the teddy bears -

- because I'm still depressed. Burning a fucking teddy bear won't help.

It fucking sucks that everyone's feeling better -

- and I still feel like shit!

It's just a symbol ...

But it doesn't fucking matter when it doesn't help!

It's no miracle cure, Ida.

No shit! But it makes no sense!

I just think it's a little reminder.

Don't you think I've tried that?

Don't you think I have been trying for four years?

In a way, it feels like it's too good to be true -

- that you can burn it away. It's a bit too easy somehow.

The worst part is when you yourself is the problem

And you don't know what to do with that.

No one can help you. It isn't their fault.

Because you're the problem.

Ida, you're not listening at all.

Ida ...

Please remove your foot from my asshole. That would be awesome.

Sorry.

I don't know.

I think it's tough.

She must really ... not have it easy.

I think we all have stuff that fucking sucks.

- Maja, do you need help? - No, it's okay. I've got this.

Where do I put the ladder?

- This is my canvas. - It's like a drawing.

- It looks like fun. - It's super satisfying.

It must feel great!

- Can we have one? - Hello! I'd like one.

Same!

- When you forgot to put on a pad. - Been there.

Nice!

The kinda stuff you're not allowed to do at home.

That's so gross!

It reminds me of Pippi Longstocking.

- That's fucking hilarious. - It's so Pippi-ish.

What the hell happened here?

What the hell is this?

- It's art. - Dadaism. It's like anti-art.

- It looks like a dumping site. - Isn't it awesome?

Funnily enough, I don't agree.

Wow, it stinks.

My first thought is that someone's been throwing up.

You said we could make art. This is our art.

I thought you were so mature that when you said photo art -

- you'd actually make photo art and not with food, and not like this.

- It's disgusting. - Can't you see how awesome it is?

- Awesome? - Yes, fucking awesome.

It's not awesome, damn it! Seriously!

Fuck!

- Fuck that! - Idiot!

Come on!

Yeah! That's it. Go, girls.

Are you exhibiting your shoes, too? Amazing.

Everyone who has art on the walls and who used the straps ...

I don't know if you're into them, but I'd cut them off if I were you.

Don't cut the real thing.

Maja, you have some.

Wow. It's awesome, Maja!

- Oh my God, are the lamps green? - Yeah.

Come here, girls, and see my work of art while the dildo's on.

- Fuck, it's noisey! - It says "Use me" not just "Touch me".

It makes a hell of a noise.

- Is it emotional porn? - Yes, exactly! That's right.

LOL!

Hey, girls, we just say welcome, right? No speeches ...

Where should we stand when they arrive?

Let's have an open body language, so we don't look so teen.

- Hey, get ready, girls. - They're coming now ...

- If you feel like a slushy ... - Yes, we have slushies.

We each gave a teddy bear we'd had our entire life.

We burnt it as a symbol of ... our childhood ...

It was that summer, I had to hide food to be in my own skin.

The summer I dreamt of Greek gods and Africa.

The summer I went in search of abandoned holiday homes.

I passed the most beautiful house hidden far away from the others.

Black with white windows and red pelargoniums.

Open your mouth.

Daisies spread out among the Indian cress.

Majestic rhododendrons.

The smell of wet leaves.

The muddy soil.

The light ... so shiny and bright.

It feels chilly against my naked legs, but I keep going.

I start to run. The electrical charges are exploding under my shoes.

Exotic fuchsia, withered bamboo, barking dogs.

The music in my ears is interrupted ...

I'm surprised that people didn't get upset.

That little dude said: "You draw really well."

Aw!

- He said: "The boobs are huge." - He said you have big boobs?

No! He said my drawings were great.

- Hello, Mia. - What's the plan?

- We're going in through the window. - That one? Are you fucking insane?

- Did you walk into a spider? - No. Relax.

The spiders that were have been removed by the others.

- There are no spiders. - Ready? Three, two, one ...

You can do it. Watch out.

How do you do this? Head first?

I think maybe the leg first and then the body.

Ouch.

You can do it. You've got it.

My mom will be here any minute.

When I got hungry I bought a muffin.

At the hospital, they think I'm afraid of calories. No, I'm not!

Sorry.

Hi, Zara!

- Hi. - Hi.

- Are you doing well? - Yes. How about you?

- We miss you. - We crawled through the window.

- Yeah,. - Mia put together an insane plan.

What?

The toilet window facing the yard, you know?

- We crawled through it. - All of us ...

We crawled onto a dumpster and inside.

Not all at once! It was a really small window.

It wasn't that small.

- Crazy! - Now we're all lying in the disco.

- You're in the discotheque? - Yeah, we're evaluating the day.

Too bad you couldn't be here.

Yeah, I wish I could've. It's kinda sad.

Fuck, it's so weird that we won't be seeing each other everyday .

Guys, I'm gonna miss your energy so much.

- It's really special. - Me, too.

I'm a very quiet person -

- when I'm in large groups.

But that doesn't matter here because ...

Right, no one has to say anything, if they don't feel like it.

It just doesn't come natural to me to be so ...

- Extrovert. - Noisy.

I mean, I do have a noisy side -

- but it's kinda filled out when you guys ...

Aw, how cute. I feel like hugging you.

We're gonna miss you too, Zara.

But I also have a hard time saying something's over.

- It'll continue. - This is not the end. Just the beginning.

We'll meet at cafes, at Mickey D's, in all sorts of places.

Don't think it's all over.

We've just finished the first chapter.

- Good night, everyone. - See ya tomorrow.

Ida?

- Are you sleeping? - Am I sleeping?

No. Not really.

It's just that I was thinking ...

I haven't been very nice to you.

And ... I just want to say sorry.

I haven't been that nice to you either, so I'm sorry, too.

I really feel I've been a bitch.

Yeah... I feel exactly the same way.

I think it's because we're so similar

It's weird to meet someone who's just like you.

Yeah, that's true. I feel the same way.

- And you don't know how to react. - I guess we're both a bit bitchy.

- True. - I just wanna say sorry.

Me, too. I'm such a crybaby.

Crying is good.

Do you know the feeling when something's so good -

- that you can hardly stand it and just have to cry?

I cry over everything. Finally being happy ...

It's so overwhelming to just be happy that you start crying.

I'm witnessing a very beautiful moment.

Hi, Zara. I'm lying here crying.

- You're crying? - Yes.

Give me a hug.

Group hug!

I can't get in there.

Girls? I'm so happy I met you.

- Me, too! - Me, too!

- She's coming. - Do you want a balloon?

- Yes! - A dolphin with rainbows.

We have bikes so you can ride on the carrier.

Let's go!

Zara, pick your bike.

Children's psychiatric center.