Original subtitles

Paul my name is Ruba Kawad

and I was born in April 30th, 1981 in Denmark

I come from a Christian background

my family are an evangelists

and they are Christian missionaries

and also they evangelize

and tried to bring the Muslims to Christianity

back in 1985 we immigrated back to Jordan

this is where I come from

and my father decided to be a pastor in a church

cause my grandfather was the pastor of the church

so he took his place after he died

and we stayed there for 18 years

at in the process

he opened other three churches in Jordan

and in 2,002 we had the immigration to come

to unite face of a merry camp

so I came here and I was helping also my uncle

who was also a Baptist missionary

and the pastor in an Arabic church in Dallas

Texas and then after that I finished my school

getting my degree in 3D modeling and animation

four games how was your life in regards to faith

what were you believing in

I was very religious

because I was raised in a religious home

we were like living in a church

because the first floor was the church

we were literally

living on the second floor of the church

and so anything that happened in the church

we could hear it even upstairs

because we have the microphones and everything

so we were like complete

greatly involved in the religious practices

and all that hunted in the eye

I know all the Bible from the beginning until the end

I also studied

many of the courses in the theology school

and in the university

I was doing my master degree in Theology Ademasiology

Ms how to be a missionary

how to go and tell Muslims about Christ

and about Christianity

can you tell us about your life as a Christian

upon Allah I was just like a very devoted Christian

so

we had Bible studies almost every day with the family

they call it the alter word

the family get together and they

we sit and we read the Bible and we learn from it

when I was 12 years old

I became a teacher in the church

my father assigned me to be a Sunday school teacher

for the children and then while I was growing up

I start taking higher ages

until I started also being a leader in the youth group

when did you start questioning your faith

in 2004 after my father died

that was one of the things that

it was a catastrophe for me

and I start thinking

why does god take the good people away like this

I was like his right hand

he was everything for me at the time

of course with my mom

he left us with six kids

and the youngest was 7 years old

it was a very tough time

like financially and also like emotionally

and I start learning about other religions

until finally when I was in college

they had a called International Day

where everyone dress up

like international of their country

and they have music

I went there and then I found some Muslims there

and I got to know them and we started being friends

there are some Jews but most isinni

I wanted to bring them to Christianity

telling them to come to church to read the Bible

they were asking me some questions like

for example

what did Jesus say in the Bible that he's God

so tell them all oh

he said it so many times the father and I are one

who ever saw me saw the father

so I knew the answer is

because this is how I was programmed on

to answer on these questions

and then they say well

how can Jesus die for our sins

when I go home I start thinking like okay

you know what

what they're asking me is really make sense

I really need to understand

am I really teaching and preaching

what I really believe in

or does it really make any sense

so I decided I wanted to go and read the Bible again

I started reading the Bible

and I was shocked that not even one time

he never said I am god or come and worship me

he never asked anyone to come and worship

so why are we as Christians worshipping Jesus

and I couldn't find the answer

I asked god for guidance

and it took some months to do that

it wasn't something easy that I did until finally

Jesus says in John 17 3

he says this is the eternal boy to know you the father

as you are the only one god that Jesus Christ

that you will have sent

as you are the only one god to be worshipped

so he's saying that nah ilaha illallah

that there is no God but Allah

he's saying the shahada I said

you know what I believe in one God

I believe that Jesus is sent from God

I'm going to follow the footsteps of Jesus

but that's about it

okay so that's what I did

I said I'm gonna read the Quran

and I'm gonna find the mistakes in the Quran

and show them the contradictions

they try to say that my Bible that it is corrupted

that it is you know that has a lot of mistakes

I'm gonna show them that they had the mistake

cause what I read the Bible

the for gospels I start to see the contradictions

I start to see the differences

it isn't really show what is the truth in here

I studied the theology

and they teach you in the theology

that there are at least 5%

of the Bible that has been changed

they teach us this in the church

but no one pays attention

no one really cares

because they think that the Bible is just a spiritual

guide for them

that lead them to the truth

through the spirit

the words on the papers and on the Bible

this is not really important

what important is how you connect with god

is all emotional

so I started reading the Al Baqaral at the islabnon

I got so connected to it

because it talks a lot about Jesus

and that's something that I'm like

you know what if Jesus wasn't in the Quran

I probably never believed in the Quran or any Islam

but there was

something that really connected me to the Quran

was like I wanted to know where Jesus is in the Quran

so I finished Adah Iran

and then I got to admit that at every day

I read about the Quran I feel something different

I feel something changes in me

I feel so much connection

every time I wanna put the Quran down and say okay

I'm not gonna read it

something brings me back to it and I wanna read more

I wanna know what Allah says

and it just felt so much sense

and it's like when Jesus say what he was a baby

he say indiabdullah

I am the servant of onlaw

so he didn't say I am god

so he just answered my question

and that I kept reading

and until finally I get to suratin

mah eda niks Ayers says

and if they hear what it has ever revealed

from the Messenger of Allah

Muhammad Sallallahu Salup

you will see their eyes overflowing with tears

and I start crying at that time and handling that

that was the turning point for

and I said on a mop I want to believe

I want the truth and I saw my friends

I said listen

I want to become a Muslim

so my friends look at me they're like

you crazy what

just two months ago

you told me that you will never become Muslim

you will never do this and that

and you said even if you die

you're gonna die as a Christian

what's really changed

but I said this is what happened to me

so I told them the story and they start crying it

they said Isupama

Ulam loves you and I said

why you say that said tomorrow

the first day of Ramadan of the first night of Ramadan

I became Muslim I was physically abused

I have one of the members of the time that

he stabbed me with annoy on my left arm

I have a deep scar over here

when you said you became Muslim

they did that yes

they did that I was hit with a big Christian vase

when that battled my head

I still have a scar over there that I bled

almost went to the emergency level because of this

I was all bleeding and scratched

I was beaten up really bad because of this

and I was in America

there was not in an Arab country until I

passed out at that time

because I was beaten up really bad for like grody

two hours I woke up

I was on the couch

and I heard one of the family members saying that

I did this because I love you

you're doing wrong I was trying to escape

I took the phone and I called the 9 1 1

which is the police the police came after five minutes

I couldn't even talk I was like choking

because they choked me to death

until I actually passed out

and I was like help

and they thought that I have an asthma or something

in the beginning but then what they'd heard

one of the people is screaming behind the door

telling me to open the door

a knocking really hard they knew that I was in trouble

so they got that address

and then the police came and he said okay

you can come out ma'am

and then when I came out and they saw me

I was like what happened

what happened so they took me outside

they gave me some water to drink

and then I told them it's because I became Muslim

and the police officer couldn't believe it

like he is not a Muslim

but he could not believe what he sees

the police camcity tauds to Mindbold

they get me out yes

because they threatened me off killing

the second time they came out

they put a knife on my neck and they said

you say Shahada

let me kill you like they killed them

the sahab at the time

I had some family members I knew

but is some more than what I knew when I first came out

I told them I'm a Muslim deal with it whatever

and this is a message for every person

that they have doubts about iscam

or they nest istan or they stop praying

Allah always had his doors open for you

and your oslov come to come back always