All language subtitles for you xenus

Adam and Eve
just had sex, right?

And god says to Adam,
"Where's Eve?"

So Adam says, "She's down
at the stream washing off."

And god says, "Damn,
now I'll never get that smell
out of those fish!"

You really think
that's funny, don't you?

I bet every man here
thinks that's funny.

Ease up, huh?
All of you.

Women. Christ.

Gettin' to be
a real pain in the ass.

I don't know what's wrong with
the way it used to be when you
just did what you were told.

Fuck you, Hopper.

I do, every night,
me and my jar of vaseline.

I could fuck any woman I want.
I don't even have to
make her come.

Really I'd
rather get fucked by a vibrator
than your cock any day.

It's honest, loving,

and I don't have to make
breakfast for it in the morning.

You remind me of my ex-wife.
She had an answer
for everything.

Like whenever people
would ask her what I did,
she'd say, "he struggles."

You guys. You all think
you're the victim.

Hey, wait a minute. I think
we're takin' a bum rap here.

I happen to be
a very giving lover.

Yeah, you're giving, all right.
You gave half the city the clap.

All right. Enough.

Mr. Grady, you've been
awfully quiet.

I know it's
your first night
with the group,

but, uh,
is there anything
you'd like to say?

No, I, uh-

I just came as a guest.
My buddy Hopper
over here brought me.

I know,
but surely you must have
something to say about all this.

I mean,
you are planning
to stay with us?

Me, why me?
I'm- I'm happy.

Been married to the same woman
for 11 years.

Been together
ever since high school.
We have two kids.

Cut the crap.
You wouldn't be here
if something wasn't buggin' you.

I told you.
I'm here with Hopper.
I have a great marriage.

I don't understand
all these...

hang-ups with you people.

I've never cheated on my wife
in the whole ten years
we've been married.

I thought it was 11.

I've never met a man yet
who'd admit he was a lousy lay.

What's that supposed to mean?
You think everything
has to do with sex?

Admit it. You're
a lousy lay, and she's
learned to accept it.

Like we all had to.
Sing it.

Wait a minute.
Now, you think I'm a lousy lay.
Is that what you're saying?

You got it.

I am not the one who complains
how tired I am every night.

Getting her to make love
is like asking her to run
the boston marathon,

and then those times
that we actually do
go through with it,

I don't know whether
to embrace her or embalm her.

So don't tell me
that I'm a lousy lay-

what am I saying?
What the hell am I doing here?

Well, thank you,
ladies and gentlemen.

I'm grateful
from the bottom of my heart.

It is truly an honor
to be named Miss Liberty 1984.

I have dreamed of this moment
all my life,

and I promise I shall
carry the name...

with dignity and with pride.

I will always serve
my country...

and be a shining beacon of hope
to nations the world over,

spreadin' the true spirit
of freedom and liberty...

that is America.

Oh, we're very proud
of you, Miss Liberty.

What do you plan to do
with your scholarship money?

Well, I plan
to study music, sir.

Music, do you say what kind
of instrument do you play?

I play the flute, sir,
in honor of our forefathers...

who died at Concord
and Lexington.

Would you like to see how
Miss Liberty plays the flute?

Oh, yes. Yes, very much.

First,
I unzip the case.

And then I take out
the instrument very carefully.

I'm very gentle.
And then I run
my little hand all over it.

Up and down...

and up and down.

And then I-
I fondle it so softly,

so softly.

Mmm, I love
the look of it.

Oh, I love
the feel of it.

So smooth and firm.

Oh, I like to wrap
my fingers around it
and tenderly caress it.

Then I like
to lift it to my mouth...

and wrap my lips around it.

And then I just wait
for that sweet, sweet music...

to come pourin' out.

Oh! Fucking incredible! Oh!

Ohhh! Ow!

Fucking incredible!

Ohhh!

Oh, fucking
incredible!

Ohhh!

I knew it would be.

You knew
it would be, too,
didn't you, huh?

We know each other so well.
You know what I mean?

What'd you say your name was?

China Blue.

Nah, I mean your real name.

Miss Liberty.

Well, that was some game
of yours, Miss Liberty.

You wanted romance.

Look, uh, my name is Carl,
and I just split up
with my wife.

It's gettin' late, babe.
Time to move.

Well, can I
see you again?

I work the street.
Keep an eye out.

It's just that it's been
so long since I got
a hard-on just...

lookin' at someone.

We were married
12 years.

She just
walked out on me.
Just like that.

I don't know
what it was
I did wrong.

I know what you mean.

My ex beat it out the door
when he was tired
of beatin' me.

Is that true?

Does it matter?

Yeah. Well.

I'll see ya around,
China Blue.

Oh, put the cash
on the dresser.

Hey! Fuck!

"Dear god, the heathen are
come into thine inheritance;

"thy holy chapel
have they defiled;

"they have laid Jerusalem
on heaps.

Their blood have they shed
like water around Jerusalem."

Like- like- like-
this guy's crazy.

Like they fuck and
they piss and they shit like
the fucking scum that they are.

Dear god,
that was not me.

That was
the spirit of Lucifer.

Forgive me, Lord.
Forgive me.

"How long, Lord?
Shalt thou be angry forever?

Shall they jealously
burn like fire?"

Shall we keep on
fucking and pissing
in each other's faces?

Forgive me, Lord.
That was-

that-
that was not me.

You, child,
victim of the night.

I am the reverend Peter Shayne,
and I know the plague
that cripples you.

I've been sent by the Lord
to save you and to rid
the earth of that plague.

I am his holy messenger.

Do you recognize me, child?

Sorry.

I never forget a face.

Especially when
I've sat on it.

- Save your soul, whore.
- Save your money, shithead.

I'm sorry.
I didn't think they'd
come down on you so hard.

Forget it. Come in
and see the shop.

You haven't seen it
for a while.

Hey, Jerry!
What do you say, Grady?

How come you're still here?
I thought molly was sick.

Oh, they're coming
to pick this up tomorrow.

Can't afford to lose
customers, you know.

Don't worry about it.
I'll finish it up.

Get outta here.
Your wife is sick.
You should be home.

Thanks, Grady.
You know, you're the only
one left who gives a damn.

What do you say, Hopper?
Jerry!

Step on it.

What are you afraid of?
Step on it.

We've got you surrounded!

Still playing games, huh?
It'll scare the hell out of any thief.

Keep your hands up!

Bobby, about that session.
I know things must be
pretty rough at home.

Things are great.
I just got a little
wound up, that's all.

Like I said,
still playing games.

Yeah, well,
you should talk,

all the bodies floatin'
in and outta that bed.

That's some kinda life, pal.
Spend half of it
changing sheets.

Sheila called me yesterday
for the first time
since the divorce.

Still can't
let her go, Bobby.

Well, I got
a great idea.

Amy invited Sheila
to the barbecue on Sunday
with Tommy and Patty.

So why don't you come?
Be just like old times.

Who's there?

Get off!

Didn't hurt you,
did I?

Played a little rougher
this time than usual.

Aw, don't worry,
sweetdick.
I'm tough.

"Sweetdick"?

Do me a favor next time.
Don't walk so fast.

Hard to keep up.

Maybe I should
rape you, huh?

One way to get back
at your old man.
Sorry?

Your father.
I know he raped you
when you were a kid.

You told me the first time
we got together.

Oh, yeah.
I forgot.

You said you trusted me.
I do.

You're the only one
I've told.

It is true, isn't it?

Sure it's true.
Well, you don't
seem too upset.

You were
almost in tears
when you told me.

I'm tryin' to block it
outta my mind.
Can't you understand?

I'm sorry.
I-I didn't know it
was still a sore spot.

Not as sore
as you was then.

Maybe, if you're
real nice to me,

I'll tell you
all about the time...

he tied my arms to the bed
with black twine.

Did he really do that?

He did that
to a sweet little
thing like you?

See the scars?

Where?
Look closer.

Oh, yeah.
I see.

How low
can you get?

As low
as you can afford,

and your meter's up, pal.

That's the bitter truth.

Can I keep these?
For ten bucks.

Keep the trust.

I'm sorry
I'm late, honey.
I had to finish up.

I ate with the kids.
Well, I brought
dessert!

Thanks. You know
I'm on a diet.
Open it!

Ta-da!

Have you eaten?
I'm not hungry.
I'll fix something later.

Dinner's still warm.

Listen, I invited Donny
to the party on Sunday.

You know, he and Sheila
have been speaking,
or at least she called him.

Are you crazy?
She only called him because
he was late with the alimony.

So how are the kids?

Well, Jimmy
needs braces.

Dentist says he has
an overlapping bite
or something.

- Will they hurt?
- I'm not really concerned
whether it will hurt or not.

Well, if he needs braces, honey,

get him braces.

Just like that?
Yeah,
just like that.

So we'll go another year
without a hot tub.
We can use the Larsons'.

Yeah, sure, and when
we need a new car,

we can borrow the Murphys',
and I can borrow
my sister's cuisin art...

and Sally's microwave,
and, hey, you know what?

Kathy just got
a new video recorder.
Cost her a thousand bucks.

She says it'll do
anything she wants.

Well, for that price,
it should go down on her.

Very funny.

Did you talk to Jerry?

So where's the salt?
You didn't, did you?

Don't we have any salt
in this house?
Bobby.

Amy, I told you.
I am not letting the guy go.

I don't care
how slow things are.

He's got a wife
and kids.

And what do you have?

Maybe if you'd gone
into a real business
like a normal person.

It's on the stove.

No wonder we never have
any money.

Amy, look,
I love that business.

I'm proud of it.
Work damn hard at it.

We'll make out okay.

Haven't let you down yet,
have I?

So, who in the hell
needs a hot tub?

We can use the bathtub.

Speaking of which,

why don't you and I...

go upstairs and take
a bath together?

You say we can use
a little bit of adventure
in our lives.

I'm really not in the mood
for a little adventure.

Some kind of lousy mood
you're in. Did you get
your period today?

No, I did not get
my period today.

Every time
I'm in a lousy mood,
you think I got my period.

I wish.

I'd buy stock in tampax
and retire.

There is nothing
that means more to me...

than this family.

Not even
some stupid hot tub.

I have to clean up.

What are you guys
still doing up?
You know what time it is?

Mom said we could stay up
till the next commercial.

Yeah?
Well, you can't.

'Cause you're under attack.
It's bombs away.

Oh! Hey!

I want you
to give your sister some,
you hear me, cowboy?

Come on, you two.
March. Up.

- Did you guys hear the joke
about the two lima beans?
- Don't worry about it.

Because it's bedtime,
isn't it, daddy?

Come on. Let's go.

Give dad a big hug.

Bye.
Good night.

Hello?
Yeah, Walt Pierson here.

Walt. Bobby Grady.
How you doin'?

Great. You?
Yeah, I'm just fine.
Thanks.

Um, listen, uh,
you'd asked me once before...

about doing some
nighttime surveillance
for you.

Yeah. Think you might
still be interested?

Yeah. Well, n-n-no,
I was- I was wondering,
is the offer still good?

Yeah. You gotta
work nights, though.

No problem.
Mob after you?

No, I could use the money.

I think I got
something for you.
You do?

Yeah. Gotta work
nights, though.
Terrific.

No, that's great.
You didn't think
I had the nerve, did you?

No, I didn't.
Neither did I.

I, uh- I guess it
just comes with poverty.

Well, come on in,
and we'll talk about it.

Yeah, well, thank you very much,
and you take it easy, okay?

Yeah, right.
See you tomorrow.
Fine. Bye.

Great. You tell them jokes,
and I'm the wicked witch
who sends them to bed.

Well, I'll put 'em
to bed.

So you can keep 'em up half
the night with your stories?

I think it's good
for the imagination.

Theirs or yours?

I'm gonna be doing some
tracking for Walt Pierson.

So, that means you can
make room for that hot tub.

Well, you act like I-

forced you, and I don't
even want it anymore.

What do you want?
Do you know?

And you didn't force me.

Maybe I'll, uh, do
the magic act at the party.

You know, for laughs.
What do you think?

Whatever you want.

Damn the living
it's a lovely life?

Silver silverware?

Where is the love?

Oval swimming pool?

Where is the love?

Damn the living
it's a lovely life?

It's a lovely
a lovely life?

Welcome to it
it's a lovely life?

It's a lovely?

Life?

Oh, Bobby, come on. Stop it.
We just got the cable.

Walt Pierson speaks
very highly of you.

I have a lot of respect
for Walt. His word's
good enough for me.

Well, I'm damn good
at what I do, Mr. Bateman,

but I'll only take a job
if I can do it right.

As long as you keep it quiet.
I don't want to turn this
into a major event.

Well, I've always
been a pushover
for industrial espionage.

I'd like to help you.
Just tell me what the facts are.

I'm one of the largest
manufacturers of ladies'
sportswear outside of New York.

But I'm falling behind
for the first time in 20 years.

Last week's orders
were at an all-time low.

I have reason to believe there's
someone in my organization...

selling patterns
to one of my competitors.

I want you to follow her.
Who is she?

A young woman's who's been
with me about two years.

Very talented designer.
Hell of a future,
if she hasn't blown it.

What makes you think
it's her?
I don't know.

Gut feeling.
Something about her.
I'll point her out to you.

All right,
try and save some yardage
in this sleeve, okay?

That's her,
in the gray suit.

How could someone that looks
like that be a criminal?

That's what I'm
paying you to find out.

Follow her-
where she goes at night,
what she does.

Morning, Lou.
Phil.

What'd you mean
there's something about her?

She's a mystery.
Divorced. Lives alone.

No boyfriends I know of.
A real loner.

What's she like in here?
Compulsive,
ambitious.

Never stops working,
never satisfied.
You know the type.

Always proving themselves.
Perfection or bust.

Any friends?
Oh, she gets along fine
with the other women,

but if you've got a penis,
you're in trouble.

She turns to ice.
That still doesn't
make her a criminal.

It makes her a suspect.
I don't trust anyone
that works that hard.

She must be hiding
something. I want you
to nail her lily-white ass.

What the hell is this?
You think she's that dangerous?

It depends on
what you discover.

Paradise hotel,
on 4th and main.

Do you recognize me
tonight, child?

Ha! Well, if it
isn't my savior.

The reverend Peter Shayne
requests a few moments
of repose upstairs...

in your holy of holies.

A reverend, no less.

You know, the last reverend
who tried to, uh, save me...

lived to regret it.

I chased him all around
the church until I caught him
by the organ. Come on.

I make a great
Joan of arc.
Can't you tell?

I imagine you do spend
a good deal of time
on your knees, my child.

Excuse us. We've got
business to conduct.

Hey, baby.
How about a shot of
the grand canyon, huh?

Oh, shit.

Stick it there, rev.
What do you want?

I want to help you.

Admit you need it.
I need it.

With conviction.
Make me believe.

Oh, please, reverend.
You're so good
and wise and strong.

Please.
Please help this sick,
disgusting degenerate.

I deal in truth.
I'm bringing you something
greater than a hard-on,

assuming you consider truth
to be greater than a hard-on.

Oh.

Depends on the hard-on.
Try it again,
sinner.

First month I was married,
I tried to make my husband's
favorite casserole.

Of course,
I made a mess.

So I cried to my best friend
Peggy all week about it...

till I found out
when I was in the kitchen
making the casserole,

he was in the bedroom
making Peggy.

Don't glare at me.

You wear your anguish
like a breakaway
chastity belt.

You wanted the truth.
What else
are you selling?

This is the fantasy business,
reverend.

You can have
any truth you want.

And so can you.
Isn't that why
you're here?

Isn't that
why you are?

I'm here to save you.
Why don't you fuck me?
That'll save me.

Not from
your disease.
What disease?

I'm healthy as a horse.
I'm fit as a fiddle
and ready for cock.

Whores and metaphors
don't mix. Who are you?

I'm Cinderella, Cleopatra.

Goldie Hawn, Eva Braun.

I'm little Miss Muffett,
I'm Pocahontas, I'm whoever
you want me to be, reverend.

But what are you
doing here?

Satisfying.
Who?

I think that the confessional
is about over.

Don't you want
to be saved do you get
that much out of this?

I get paid.
But I'm not interested
in what you're selling,

only in what you're buying.
Why don't you assume
the missionary position?

My purpose here
is strictly humanitarian.
To make me see the light?

To make you see
through the bullshit.

You want truth, father?
I got the best truth in town.

So good, you wouldn't
know it from make-believe.

Is it?
If you believe it is.

Everybody needs
something to believe in,
don't they, reverend?

Bow down thine ear,
o Lord, and hear me,
for I am poor and needy.

Preserve my soul,
for I am holy.

O thou, my god,
save thy servant
that trusteth in thee.

Save him from this bigmouth cush
with a motor-driven ass who-

forgive me, Lord.
I speak not in vain, but this
little bitch provokes me so!

Oh, Jesus. At least
I can stay in character.

You couldn't even get
a walk-on in something,

unless it was you
that was being walked on.

I am the messenger of god,
you little cocksucker!

What's this your mailbag?
Let's see what's in it.
No! No!

What is this?
Top secret?
No.

Come on. Let mama
have a little peek.

What have you got
in here, the holy grail?
Come on.

Oh, my god.
Oh, excuse me.
Oh, god.

Need I remind you,
jezebel, that curiosity
killed the cat?

Not until it
got out of the bag.

These are
the devil's playthings.

Those who touch them will burn.
Put another log on the fire,
reverend. Let's see a sample.

It's a disgusting array.
Disgusting's
my middle name, honey.

What have you got
in the bag?

God forgive me.

A tit pacifier.
The milk of
human kindness.

Remedial, even in
a simulation.

A foam rubber
pretty kitty.

Already housebroken, and you
can teach it a wide variety
of new tricks.

Comes with a battery pack.
It's in here somewhere.

An auto-suck. Modern technology
at its most compassionate,
and it swallows.

This one is
a little on the blink.

Oh. Are you hungry?

How 'bout a-
a "beat me, eat me"
licorice whip?

"The taste that leaves
its mark forever."

Mm. Hey, no,
wait a minute.
I'm not through here.

What else you got
in the bag?

What?

What the hell?

Is this a cruise missile
or a pershing?

What are you gonna do,
fuck someone to death?

You'd like to,
wouldn't you?

Only the right woman.

You better go.

Just when
we're making progress.

I can only handle
one revelation a night.

Enough of them
and you might be able
to handle real life.

Real life, reverend.

Tell me your name,
or is that a tough one?

China Blue.

I like it.
It's rather exotic.

Like something
out of Charlie Chan.

"B" movies have always
been my inspiration.

What's yours?
Going My Way?

All you need to know about me
is that I intend to save you.

And all you need to do
is... be there.

Stay with me, China Blue.
Trust me.

I'll free you.

Who are you?
You're not a reverend.
Who are you?

I'm you.

"I will sing of mercy
and judgment.

"Unto thee, o Lord,
will I sing.

"I will behave myself wisely
in a perfect way.

"I will walk within my house
with a perfect heart...

and I will set
no wicked thing
before mine eyes."

Not even the stupid douche bag
who's luring me
under her rotten spell.

Snatch can't fool me, Lord.

I'm not like the others.
I know her cowardly game.

A fear of men so great
she can only feel strength
behind her facade.

"Who so slandereth his neighbor
will I cut off."

Yeah.
I'll cut off, all right.

I'll cut off...

her little tits.

Why didn't you
come to me, Phil?

I would have loaned you
the money. Hell, I would
have given you the money.

Goddamn pride.

What about jail?
No pride in there.

Who thinks?

Cooper offered me
a fortune for the patterns.

I- I lost control.

Please, Lou.

I'll work for nothing.

Anything you want,
but what this would do
to Sara and my boy-

I'll have to
think about it, Phil.

Hmm.

I had to have someone
around here to talk to
about this whole damn thing.

The man's been
with me 18 years.
I trusted him.

He was so moved that I did
that he broke down
and confessed.

That's gratitude
for you.

I didn't know
my trust meant that much.

What do I do now?

Give him
another chance.

The man is a criminal.
Come on.

You heard his motive.
Guy's only human.
He knows he was wrong.

God knows we've all
made mistakes.

Why ruin his life
over one mistake?
What about the law?

Screw the law.

What good is he in jail?
Besides, he'll work
twice as hard for you here.

And you can feel
like the king of hearts.

I don't know
what's right
or wrong anymore.

Did you really believe
it was her?

So I'm a lousy guesser.

What'd you get
on her?

Not much.
She stayed home all night.

That you, Joe?

You free?

No, but I'm
one hell of a bargain.

I meant, uh,

are you available,
you know, for action?

"Action"?

Soldier, for 50 bucks, you can
name your own battlefield.

Oh. I-I'm sorry.

I'm not too good at this.
It's my, uh, first time.

Oh you that desperate
or that horny?

Married.
Oh, that desperate
and that horny.

Go slow.
I'm just a boy scout.

Well, baby,

you are about to become
an explorer.

Oh, hot body.

Are you an athlete, huh?
Yeah.

Played varsity football.
High school.

- Quarterback.
- Mmm.

Well, quarterback,
you can have
the ride of your life...

if you trust me
at the wheel.

Sit down.

How, uh, good a driver
are you?

Who said anything
about driving?

Driving's what you do
with your wife.
Here, we fly.

That sound good, lover?
Bet you and your wife haven't
done much flying, right?

Shit. Me and my wife
haven't been doing
much driving lately.

It's Joe.
I'm ready for takeoff.

You're on standby tonight,
babe. I got a full load.

Okay, but next week,
it's first class.

Who are you?

It's not
a prom date, sweetie.

I'm a hooker,
you're a trick.

Why ruin
a perfect relationship?

Ahh. Here.
Have a Quaalude.

To float.
You'll love it.
I promise.

Flier never lies.

Fasten your seat belt, honey,

and say hello
to freedom.

Good evening.
Welcome to China Blue Airlines
flight 69,

nonstop service
to paradise.

We'll be
taking off shortly.

I'll be unbuckling your belt
and seeing that big bird
rise and rise,

finally settling
into the comfort...

only this wide body
can provide.

We're here to serve you.

Please remember
that although we may run out
of Pan Am coffee,

we'll never
run out of t-w-a-t.

Hey, ivory soap.

Ninety-nine and forty-four
one-hundredths percent pure.

Kinda funny,
isn't it?

Look, I, uh-
don't say it.

You don't even know
what I was gonna say.
Do you?

How come you're in
such a hurry?
Me?

You raced for that shower
like it was the Indy 500.

You couldn't wait
to wash it off,
could you?

Wait a minute. I-
no problem.
Hey, I know the boy scout oath.

Cleanliness
is next to godliness.

How would you know?
You haven't been next
to either one in years.

What I do in this room
might not win me
a purple heart,

but it sure as shit
beats the PTA Meeting.

Why are we acting
like this?

I thought fucking was supposed
to bring people closer together,
not drive 'em apart.

Oh, yeah?
Is that what it did
for your marriage?

What we did
tonight-

I mean,
you felt it too,
didn't you?

You weren't
just acting.

You felt
what I did.

Tell me. Please,
I have to know.

Would you, um-

would you maybe like
to see me again?

Yes.

But I can't.

There are three things
you have to know...

to make it
as a 50-buck hooker.

You have to act,
you have to fuck and you have
to know how to count to 50.

You're lucky.
You've seen all three.
Close the door on your way out.

There are a lot
of creeps around here.

Ready when you are, C.B.

Not tonight, okay?

Freedom
requires treatment.

Just leave me alone.

I would if I thought
you wanted me to.
Get out.

Women.
You mystify me.

The extremes you go to
for a little validation,

and you still
go home alone.

What's your mystery,
reverend?

Authority never
reveals itself.

Why?

Are you afraid that
I'll stop believing,
or afraid you will?

Those are the rules.
My 50, my game,
my rules.

Game's over, fraud.

The game's never over.
That's what you're
here for, isn't it?

I don't feel
like playing games.
I think you do.

Consider the alternative.

You want a game?

Go sit down!

Onward Christian soldiers?

Marching as to war?

With the cross of Jesus?
Stop that! Stop it!

Going on before?

Come on, stud!

Give it to me.
It's all a game. Fly!

Do what you want.
You want freedom?

You need to manipulate women
to feel like a man do it!
That's what we're here for!

Like you manipulate men
to feel like a woman?

Let go, damn you!
Why it�s only a game!

Let go, I said!
Let go, you fuck!
It hurts, doesn't it?

Tell me it hurts!
Yes, it hurts! It hurts!

So you can feel?

I'm sorry.
I didn't mean that.

How was it, huh?
Not bad?

Ph.D. in emotionalism?
Huh?

I have accepted reality?
I'm cured free at last!

Shit!

You self-righteous
son of a bitch!

I can play your goddamn game
as well as you can,

and I don't use religion
to pump myself up!

If you're a minister,
I'm snow white.

Yes, but what fun it is
playing the part.

Would you leave now,
please?
That was quite a performance.

There's no limit
to my talents.

You're the head
of your class, or is it
the class of your head?

Oh!
A man of words!

He makes up in diction
what he lacks in dick!

Lesson for today:

I've written you a poem.
Would you like to hear it?

Behold this wicked woman.

She falls, she mends.
She crawls, she bends.

She sucks it, fucks it,
picks it up and licks it.

You can whip her, beat her,
maul her, mistreat her.

Anything you want
as long as you don't touch her.

Get outta here.
Take your goddamn truth
and get outta here!

Show her affection
and she turns to stone!

You haven't had
your 50 dollars' worth yet!

Come back here! Listen to me!
Get away from me!

You-
do you know
what you are?

Do you know what you are?
A cheap painted slut who makes
a fortune selling illusions-

One of
your regulars,
my dear?

Rather eager tonight, isn't he?

I guess I, uh,
taught that guy a lesson.

That was no guy.
That was my savior.

I've never been
fought over before.
I've only been fought.

Yeah, well, it's,
it's tough work.
Can't please everyone.

Oh, I didn't mean this work.
In this work,
I can please everyone.

Come on. What are
you still doing hanging
around here, anyway?

It's okay.
I'm not helpless.

I guess I could
use some help.

Thanks for the help
just then.

Or the attempt, anyway.
Yeah. We're not
all out to get you.

Now, go on home
to your wife.

I wish
I could tell her...

the way you made-
made me feel.

She'd say it's part
of my imagination.

It was.

- Can I have another pancake?
- No, you cannot have
another pancake.

You had two already.
Fat girls do not get married.

- Bobby, are you okay?
- What yeah.

I'm fine.

Did you do something
to your hair?
It looks different.

Yeah.
I cut it last week.

Glad you noticed.

Excuse me.
Here you go, dad.

When you gonna fix
my garbage disposal?

I'll have a look at it.
It might need a plumber.

You can fix it, dad.
Daddy, will you teach me
how to plant a garden?

Why me, kiddo?
Your mom'll teach you.

Daddy doesn't know how
to plant a garden.
Hey!

Amy, it's really
not that hard.

Honey, easy!
You know I don't
like maple syrup.

- Of course you like maple-
- since when have you known me
to like maple syrup?

- I don't want
to argue with you.
- Who's arguing?

Dad, what's strontium 90?
It's a term for
radioactive fallout.

He asked me, Amy.
I didn't think
you'd know what it is.

Of course,
I know what it is.
What is it?

It's a term for
radioactive fallout.
That's brilliant.

Isn't your daddy
brilliant?

What does the "90" mean?

Yeah, hon, what does
the "90" mean, hmm?

Tell us, daddy, hmm?
You're the expert.

It means...
that, uh-

that you have 90 days
to get an antidote
or you die.

I think you better ask
your teacher, Jimmy.

I got to get
to work.

Daddy left food
on his plate.

Yes, daddy doesn't follow
the rules. He only makes them.

Good-bye!
Give daddy a kiss.

- Two hundred for a three-way.
- You got a radio?

- We've got whatever you want.
- Health insurance?

Want to get
to heaven early?

Maybe we should make
him an offer at 14.

He's got
so much stock already.
He might cooperate.

We can't go
lower than 18.
It's an insult.

I refuse to pay that
opportunistic bastard
more than he deserves.

It's a matter
of principle.

The eagles' pitcher
has allowed only four hits-

oh, I'm still worried
about Finley
coming through, though.

The man has absolutely
no sense of morality,
don't you agree, dear?

Uh-huh!
First time up,
Martin grounded to third.

That was back in the second.
I'd like to finalize this before
Laurie comes home for vacation.

Hope she isn't
bringing that boy
she's seeing- the Jew?

Not that I'm a bigot
or anything. You know the work
I've done for crippled children.

But if he's Jewish,
what are we going
to do with him?

God knows
we can't take him
to the country club.

Claudia, have you
ever heard of a Jew
who didn't play golf?

Arthur!

Don't stick
your tongue in her ear.

You have to be careful
with these people.

You don't know
what kind of germs
they could be carrying.

Stop this crate!

Close the deal quick
before your tongue drops off!

Kids hate
this salad.
Where are they?

Oh, they're
at my mom's.
Guess who we just saw?

Janie Durant.
Remember, she beat you out
for head cheerleader?

What a slut.
She's not a slut.

She went to Ohio state.

Every two years, they let
a slut into Ohio state.
Her timing was good.

I sat next to her
in biology. She was
always dropping her frog.

- What she doing now?
- She's a waitress out
at, uh, seafood heaven.

Didn't she marry
Lenny Harris?
That nerd.

He sat behind me in English
and tied mirrors to his shoes
so he could look up my dress.

Sheila, what are you
talking about that was me.

I knew it was some nerd.

It's okay.
I've got one.

Isn't it flat?
I like it flat.

Well, you never liked it
flat when we were married.

I never liked anything
when we were married.

Okay, team.
Get it while it's hot.

He thinks he's still
in high school.

Oh! Disgus-

you got mustard
all over-

Okay, everybody.
Look at me and smile.

- One or the other,
we can't do both.

Damn the living
it's a lovely life?

It's a lovely
a lovely life?

One more for... posterity?

Aha, aha?

It's a lovely?

Life?

Promise me you won't
do the magic act.
What?

You told me
you liked it.
I lied.

Donny. Donny.

I think it's time for
the old H.P. a little
nostalgia for the gang?

You rat porker.

Does Amy know?
She'll shit.

I thought
I'd surprise her.

Ladies and gentlemen,
may I have
your attention, please.

- We have a treat in store.
- It's that dumb magic act.

No, it's no magic act,
for today, live on our stage,

direct from the wild,
untamed jungles of Borneo-

hot damn!
It's the old H.P.!

Ladies and gentlemen,
prepare yourselves.

You're about to experience
the human penis!
Whoo!

- Whoo! Amigo!
- Bobby, don't! I mean it!

Bravo! Bravo!

Didn't your mother teach you
to wash your hands after
you go to the bathroom?

No, she taught me not
to piss on my fingers.

Did it feel good
to get even?
Feel good to lie?

Thought you liked
the magic act.

I just didn't want
to hurt your feelings.

I guess you can't win.

You can win
by being honest with me
instead of humoring me.

What do we have
if we can't be honest
with each other?

I don't know, Bobby,
what do we have?

I don't know, Amy.
What else have you been
humoring me about?

Go to sleep.
No, I want to know what else
you've been sparing me from.

I'm really not
in the mood for this.

Are you ever
in the mood
for anything?

Don't turn away from me.
I want to know
what's bugging you.

Is it the way I eat?

Why did you pour
all that maple syrup
on my pancakes?

It was a mistake,
all right?
Was it?

What do you think,
I'm trying to poison you
with maple syrup?

If you're unhappy
about something,
just tell me.

Don't take
it out on me.

I'm really tired.
No, damn it!
Stop avoiding this!

You been acting like
I have the plague
or something!

I mean, I want
to know what the hell
is bothering you!

Is it-
is it money again?

Nuclear war?

What about the way
we make love. If you can
remember back that far.

I mean, all your
oohing and ah-ing-

is that just so
you don't hurt
my feelings?

Stop it!
Come on! I want
to know! Tell me.

Bobby,
don't do this.
Tell me, damn it!

Be honest for once.
I can take it.

Have you been
getting off too?

Or have you just
been humoring me?

I really hate
this kind of talk.

It's not the H.P.,
and it's not
the magic act.

Is this us?

I want the truth.

You wanted the truth.
I'm sorry.

You're sorry.
What do you
want me to say?

Why didn't you
just tell me
this before?

All this time it hasn't
been good for you.

Why'd you have
to lie about it?

I am your husband.
Don't you think I would care
about something like that,

that I'd want to do
something about it?

Didn't you trust me
enough to believe that?

I didn't say
it wasn't good for me.

I- I just
don't need...

the same thing
from it that you do.

It's never been
important to me.

And you know
I feel funny
talking about it.

You feel better
faking it?

You were satisfied.
Satisfied?

What do you think I am,
some kind of machine?

That I just need
a hole to come in?

I mean,
what do you think
makes me come?

Stop-
No! What do you think...

makes me come?
I don't care!

I'll tell ya.
I thought it was
being inside...

the woman that I love and
giving her as much pleasure...

as she was giving to me.

You know,
the two of us together.

Some kind of magician
I turned out to be.

I'm so good,
I conned myself.

Maybe it's time
we both stopped
the conning,

started learning again...

on our own.

I know you're pissed,
but before you go crazy,
just let me explain.

I don't believe this.
You followed me.
Goddamn it.

I don't fucking believe this.
I just want to talk to you.

I don't want to make
any trouble. I promise.
I have to go to work.

It won't take long.
Please.

Thank you.

Well?
It's a great apartment.

What are you,
a real estate agent?

I saw these
in a book once.

They say that in the east
it's forbidden...

to have sex with someone
who knows your secrets.

Or shortcomings.

You'd never
be horny there.
I'm never horny here.

I guess not.

Cut the crap.
What do you want from me?

What makes you think
I want something?

Everybody
wants something.

Why did you come here?

I wanted
to see you again.

Look, if you think
you're going to get back
in my panties, forget it.

There's one asshole
in there already.

Maybe I just want
to know you.

I mean, I've never
met anyone like you.

Who has?

I just thought
after last week that
maybe we could be friends.

You really think
we could be friends
after last week?

Yeah!
I can't think of a better
way to start a friendship.

We haven't met.
I'm Bobby Grady.

Joanna Crane.
I saw it out on the mailbox.
What are you, about 30?

Still call yourself "Bobby"?
I'll grow up when I'm ready.

Oh, I think
you're ready.

Are you alone?

Aren't we all?

You remind me
of this hamster I had
when I was a kid.

I remind you
of a hamster?
Yep.

He ran away
whenever you tried
to touch him.

So I wanted to show him
there was nothing
to be afraid of.

So one day
I picked him up fast,
and I held him.

And he turned tender and loving.
Nope. He shit in my hand.

Well, I better get going
because you're gonna be
late for work.

It's okay.
I'm used to breaking rules.

I'm a criminal at heart.
Ah, you admit
you have one.

Thanks a lot.

And I'm sorry for
busting in on you like this.

And I really
appreciate you listening,
and I won't bother you again.

Oh, Bobby, if you, uh-

if you ever
really need me,

to talk, whatever,
I'm here.
I know.

Joanna Crane.

Hello?

Hey, cowboy!

Hi.
Hi.

Dad, mom said
you moved out.

Well, your mom and I
have to be on our own
for a while.

I swear to you that doesn't
mean that we've stopped caring
about you and Lisa.

Dad, if mom gets
married again,

I don't have to call
the other guy "dad," do I?

Oh, Jimmy, no matter
what happens,

I'm always
gonna be your dad.

Why'd you have to go?

Promise you won't be
any trouble to your mother...

and you'll watch out
for your sister?

Hey, Jimmy.
Come on!
I will. Don't worry.

I'm not worried.

Hello, Joanna.

What are you doing here?
You have no right to be here!

I have to...
for both of us.

Get away from me.
I don't even want to know you.

No more deceptions,
Joanna.

I know who you are.
We're the same,
don't you see?

The same rage.
The same fear.

We hurt the same.
We escape the same.

But we don't
have to anymore.

We have a chance,
both of us, together.

- No more disguises.
- I don't need you.

I'm crying out
to you for god's sake.

Is everything
a negotiation here too?

Stop it!
Just shut up!
Listen to me. Help me.

I'm tired of standing
on street corners.

I want to love and care
and need just like you do.
We could help each other.

We don't have
to grow old alone.
Oh!

It's all right.
Joanna!

Run away.
Turn on me.

I was only trying
to save you.

Well,

game's not over.

The messenger of a god
will return.

And this time
he'll bring the final word.

There's ivory soap
in the shower. It's, uh-

it's 99 and 44/100ths
percent pure.

Isn't that funny?

Yeah?
I don't know how to do
this sort of thing.

I've been driving
around the block
for an hour.

Drive on, lady.
Please,
it's not for me.

It's for my husband.
Just the two of you.

I want to buy you
for an hour, if that's
what you call it.

Is this some freak trick?
No, nothing like that.
I swear.

You know, it'll cost.
I'm the hottest piece
of life on this street.

It'll cost you a hundred bucks.
Have you got a hundred bucks?

I'll drive you there
and bring you back.

Ten minutes
on the expressway. I just
need someone to be with him.

My husband
is dying.

Maybe another
three months.

He's still functioning.
In fact, you'd hardly know
he was sick.

We've been married
for 28 years,
but since I found out,

I haven't been able
to go near him.

He needs me so badly,
and I just can't do it.

I want you to make him
feel like a man again.

His name is Ben.

My wife takes her guilt
very seriously.

I'm sure she
told you I'm sick.

Yes.

I didn't want her
to do this.

I haven't been
with another woman
in 28 years.

But she insisted.

Yes, ma'am, she-
she insisted.

Charity really does
begin at home.

My god, you're lovely.

What's your name?

China Blue.

I see.
Image and all, eh?

Well, China Blue,

my body's not in
the greatest shape,
as you know,

but I'll try
and not make it
too painful for you.

No, don't say that.

I want to make it good for you.

Oh, I want you so.

You're my master,
my king.

Please let me have it.
I want to feel that big
strong man inside me.

Please, I want you so bad.
Don't.

All right.

Well, your wife
got you the best.

I'm the best there is.
I'm gonna give you
the hottest night of your life.

Do you think
you can raise the dead?

Oh, no, Ben, don't.

Don't be afraid.

It was only a game.

I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry that you
have to see me like this.

Don't be sorry.

You have a lot more
courage than I have.

At least you've
stopped pretending.

Well, so long,
China Blue.

Joanna.

Joanna.

Yeah?
It's Bobby.

Look, I'm sorry.
I know it's late.

But remember when you said,
"if you need me, I'm here"?

Well, I need you.

Come on in.

God, I don't believe it.
You're still working.

When do you sleep?
Valentine's day.

Is it your wife?
Is it my wife?

First time Amy
and I made love,

she asked me if
I still respected her.

Hell, I thought
that's the reason
we did it.

Well, it's all over.

Come on. Sit down
uh, do you want some coffee?

I've-
No. I could use
a shot of morphine...

if you've got it.

Enough to kill
the last 12 years.

You'll survive.
I'm a goddamn fool.

I mean, why did
I believe so hard?

I mean, now, what do
I have to believe in?
Aw, Bobby, come on!

It really is late, and I have
a lot I have to do. I-

Don't judge me,
Grady, huh?

We both live
our fantasies.
Only mine's over!

And yours
is still hanging around!

Come on!
I mean, what the hell
is the point, Joanna?

You work so hard at getting
these people to want you...

when it's not even you
that they want!

Well, I do!

You're the one that said,
"when are you gonna grow up?"

Well, I think it's
about time that we both did.

It's so hard, Bobby.

No man's ever given me
that kind of faith before,

that kind of respect.

That hotel
is the safest place
in the world.

I can do anything there.
I can be anything
I can dream of,

because it's not me.

Don't you see?

- I'd only end up
disappointing you.
- I can chance it!

- I'm tough.
- I'm not.

Wait a second.
Just remember one thing.

We're friends.

I mean, what we did
in that hotel room
we can do here.

We're the same people.

We've done as much
as two people can.

Only now it'll for each other
instead of to each other,

and you can't fly
any higher than that.

Oh.

"O god
to whom vengeance belongs,

"how long shall
the wicked triumph?

How long shall they utter
and speak hard things?"

How long shall they turn
50-buck tricks...

and strut their evil bodies
in smelly silk underwear?

Tear off that dress
and she's as helpless as I am.

China Blue,

alias Joanna Crane,

alias Peter Shayne-

they'll all be saved.

I have to talk to you.

What is it?
The kids what's wrong?

Nothing's wrong. I-

I wanna talk to you.

About what?

Didn't you used to have
a funny painting on that wall?

Yeah. Took it down
two years ago.

Now, what's up?

Well, I've been doing
a lot of thinking.

I think I made
a mistake.

I'd like us to-
to give it another try.

Women. I give up.

What do you mean,
"women"?

Who else?

Amy, why?

You love me so much
you can't stand being apart?

Or are you having trouble
getting a plumber?

It's hard
being alone, Bobby.

Me in that big bed.

Last night I thought I heard
somebody trying to break in.

I'll rig up
another alarm system.

I don't want another
alarm system. I-

I don't want
the damn hot tub, really.

All I want
is my husband.

You know, the kids really need
a mother and a father.

For what?

To watch 'em
murder each other and...

teach 'em
how to... hate?

How about teaching them
responsibility?

What about letting them
learn it for themselves?

You only learn
if you're taught.

Oh, yeah?
We were taught everything,
and we didn't learn shit!

I happen to think
there are still a few values
left to believe in.

That's great, Amy.

You just keep believing.
I can't anymore.

What was so wrong
with the way we lived?

You know what
scared me the most
during our whole marriage?

Do you?

It's not the mortgage,
and it's not this shop.

It's just admitting
I was scared!

And letting you
and the kids down.

You've met somebody,
haven't you?

'Course you have.
I can smell her all over you.

Oh, I am so dumb.

Who is she?

One of those swinging singles,

boobs out to here,
the morals of a bitch in heat?

It may come
as a shock to you,

but sex is one hell of a way
to show what you feel!

It's no crime
to enjoy it, Amy!

It's only a crime...
When you're lyin' about it.

I think you better
get yourself out
of that bed of roses...

and remember
the responsibility you have
to your wife and your children.

You have to make
a very tough decision,

and I suggest that
you think very hard...

about the things in your life
that really count.

I understand, Bobby.
It's your family. If you
can't stay, you can't stay.

I'm going to dinner.
That's all.

It doesn't mean
I'm not gonna be back.

No matter what Amy says,
I can't go back
to that life, not now!

Maybe you better not
come back here, either.
What's that supposed to mean?

Maybe in a month or so,
you'll start feeling guilty
about leaving the kids.

Maybe I'll start feeling
crowded and trapped.

Maybe you'll start
resenting my past,
the time I put in on my work.

You'll want a good meal.
I can't cook.
I don't wanna learn.

Why don't you just go,
goddamn it?

You don't know
what it took, Bobby-

how long I wanted
and I hoped for somebody
to care for,

to let somebody
care for me.
I'll be back.

Oh, yeah.
You say that.
I know that.

But you're just
so fucking honorable!

Sheila told me a good one
the other day.

She says, uh-
the secretary-

the secretary says
to the boss. "So could
I use your dictaphone?"

And- and he says,
"No. Use your finger
like everybody else."

No, you're not!
I-I made
a new recipe tonight.

It, uh- it has all
your favorite vegetables in it.

It looks pretty good.
Big deal. Listen,
I just got a 12.

Oh, sure.
Uh-huh.

Oh, you know, listen.
Don't, uh-

Don't forget
it's parents' night
at Lisa�s school next week.

Well, I was gonna save this
until later, but, uh-

Here.
Why don't you go on-

Open it.

I found it in the garage.

I bet you forgot
that was still around.

I washed it up
and I had to sew up
a couple of places on it,

but here-

put it on.

Oh, I used to get
so turned on with you-

with you in this.

Bobby?

Last rites.

Lovely apartment.
What do you call it,
paradise lost?

The reverend's
gonna save you tonight,
once and for all.

Who are you,
you son of a bitch?

Don't fight me.
I'm the messenger of god.
I only want to heal you.

Heal thyself,
pimp-shit.

You're opposing me, Joanna.

You have to trust me.
One more game-
the final one.

The one that will
free you forever.

Do I have your trust?

Because we can only play
if I have your trust.

Do I have it?

You are out
of your fucking gourd.
Now listen to me.

I want your trust,
and I'm gonna have it-

Ohh.

Now, you will follow
the reverend's orders.

Is that clear?

Good.

Now I believe you'll
find this game unique.

It's one you've never played
before and never will again,
so make the most of it.

It's known as
exorcising the demons.

In my calling,
it's the ultimate salvation,

and its ends
are sacrosanct.

With my ecclesiastic gift
plus the grace of god...

and a little help
from superman here,

I shall bestow upon you the
supreme humanitarian blessing...

and give you your freedom.

You, uh- you do
want that, don't you?

I knew you would.

What's the game, reverend?

Sudden death.
Now smile.

Smile, pig!

Why are you
doing this?

Why?

My mission has always
been your salvation,

but you never trusted me;
you refused to see.

But I saw. I looked
at you, and I saw myself.

I saw the same escape,
the same malignancy.

But I know the cure, and I know
how desperately you need it,

and only I can
give it to you.

I want to, Joanna.
Why?

Because...
it's my gift to you-
freedom.

The only thing
I have left to give.

You refused it once,
but this time
you have no choice.

Getting into
the part, my love?
I know I am.

Go fuck yourself.

"Go fuck yourself."

Not a very nice thing
to say to a man of the cloth.

Remember, scumbag, I'm here
for your benefit! Got that?

Healthy-looking plants.
You must water them diligently.

I've always preferred
plastic flowers, myself.

I could never bear
to watch the real ones die.

That's the trouble with
living things, I suppose.

Inevitably, they die.

You've never seen
anyone die, have you?

Certainly not up close.

That swift,
final gasp and then...

absolute silence.

The stillness of the body
as the flesh turns white.

You're terrified right now
because you think of it
as death.

But, uh,

think of it
as... freedom.

Forget your troubles
come on, get happy?

You better chase
all your cares away?

Sing hallelujah
come on, get happy?

You're heading
for the judgment day?

The sun is shining
come on, get happy?

Girl, the Lord is waiting
to take your hand?

Shout hallelujah
come on, get happy?

You're headin'
for the promised land?

There's somebody
coming by here any minute.

Then let's not
waste any time.

Kill me, Joanna.
Give my life value. Give me
something to die for.

Save me.
You are me.

One of us has to die
so the other can live.

Kill me,
you worthless cunt!

I'm all the men
who ever hurt you,
who made you feel like shit,

who stole your self-respect
and turned you into China Blue.

Kill me. Release the rage.
Get it out! Get even!

Ahh!

Too late.

Take it out.

China Blue lives.

Strip, bitch.

No! I can't!
Come on!

Joanna?
Bobby!

What are you waiting for?
Joanna!

Shit.

My god.
Jo, you okay?
You okay?

Nooo!

Good-bye, China Blue.

I'm here tonight...

because I wanted to finally
start telling the truth.

My wife and I,

we split up for good.

That's right.
Me, the boy scout.

I just never had the guts
to admit the truth,

that Amy and I had just
stopped loving each other.

There's nobody to blame.

That's just what happened.

Then...

I met this woman, Joanna.

She saved my life.

We're together now.

I'm not sure
if it's gonna work out.

We don't have a, a whole
hell of a lot in common,

other than the fact that...

that we both need help...

and each other.

The thing, you see,
that scared me the most...

during my marriage...

was just admitting
that I was scared...

and letting Amy down.

Well, I can't pretend anymore.

I was scared shitless
to come back here.

I told Joanna.

And she took me
in her arms...

and she said,

"It's okay to be scared."

I felt stronger...

and freer...

and more like a man than
I've ever felt before
in my life.

Then we fucked our brains out.