All language subtitles for The.Gods.Must.Be.Crazy.1984.1080p.WEBRip.DD2.0.x264-QOQ.sdh.eng

[***]

[GROWLS]

NARRATOR:
It looks like a paradise,but
it is in fact

the most treacherous desert
in the world--the Kalahari.

After the short rainy season,

there are many water holes,
and even rivers,

but after a few weeks,
the water sinks away

into the deep Kalahari sand.

The water holes dry up,
and the rivers stop flowing.

The grass fades
to a beautiful blond color

that offers excellent grazing
for the animals,

but for the next nine months,
there'll be no water to drink,

so most of the animals
move away,

leaving the beautiful
blond grass uneaten.

Humans avoid the deep Kalahari
like the plague,

because man must have water
to live,

so the beautiful landscapes
are devoid of people...

except for the little people
of the Kalahari.

[***]

[SPEAKING SAN]

Pretty, dainty,
small and graceful,

the Bushmen.

Where any other person would
die of thirst in a few days,

they live quite contentedly
in this desert

that doesn't look
like a desert.

They know where to dig
for roots and bulbs and tubers,

and which berries and pods
are good to eat.

[SPEAKING SAN]

[BOTH LAUGH]

And, of course, they know
what to do about water.

For instance,
in the early morning,

you can collect dewdrops
from leaves

that were carefully laid out
the previous evening...

or a plume of grass
can be a reservoir,

and if you have the know-how,

an insignificant clump of twigs
can tell you where to dig,

then you'll come to light
with an enormous tuber.

You scrape shavings off it

with a stick that was split
to give it a sharp edge.

You take a handful
of the shavings,

point your thumb at your mouth
and squeeze.

[SPEAKING SAN]

They must be the most
contented people in the world.

They have no crime,
no punishment,

no violence, no laws,

no police, judges,
rulers, or bosses.

They believe that the gods
put only good and useful things

on the earth for them to use.

In this world of theirs,
nothing is bad or evil.

Even a poisonous snake
is not bad.

You just have to keep away
from the sharp end.

Actually, a snake is very good.

In fact, it's delicious,

and the skin
makes a fine pouch.

They live in the vastness
of the Kalahari

in small family groups.

One family of Bushmen might
meet up with another family

once in a few years,
but for the most part,

they live
in complete isolation,

quite unaware that there are
other people in the world.

In the deep Kalahari,
there are Bushmen

who have never seen
or heard of civilized man.

Sometimes they hear
a thundering sound

when there are no clouds
in the sky,

and they assume the gods
have eaten too much again,

and their tummies
are rumbling up there.

Sometimes, they can even
see the evidence

of the gods' flatulence.

Their language has
an idiosyncrasy of its own.

It seems to consist
mainly of clicking sounds.

[SPEAKING SAN]

[LAUGHS]

They're very gentle people.

They'll never punish a child
or even speak harshly to it,

so, of course, those kids
are extremely well-behaved,

and their games are cute
and inventive.

[SINGING]

When the family needs meat,
the hunter dips his tiny arrow

in a brew that acts
as a tranquilizer,

so when he shoots a buck,
it only feels a sting,

and the arrow drops out.

The buck runs away,
but soon it gets very drowsy

and it stops running.

After a while,
it goes to sleep...

and the hunter apologizes
to his prey.

He explains
that his family needs the meat.

[SPEAKING SAN]

The one characteristic

which really makes the Bushmen
different

from all the other
races on Earth

is the fact that they have
no sense of ownership at all.

Where they live, there's really
nothing you can own--

only trees
and grass and animals.

In fact, these Bushmen
have never seen

a stone or a rock
in their lives.

The hardest things they know
are wood and bone.

They live in a gentle world,

where nothing is as hard
as rock, or steel, or concrete.

[***]

Only 600 miles to the south,
there's a vast city...

and here you find
civilized man.

Civilized man
refused to adapt himself

to his environment.

Instead, he adapted
his environment to suit him,

so he built cities, roads,
vehicles, machinery,

and he put up power lines

to run
his labor-saving devices,

but somehow,
he didn't know when to stop.

The more
he improved his surroundings

to make his life easier,

the more complicated
he made it,

so now his children
are sentenced

to 10 to 15 years of school

just to learn how to survive

in this complex
and hazardous habitat

they were born into.
And civilized man,

who refused to adapt himself
to his natural surroundings,

now finds he has to adapt
and re-adapt himself

every day
and every hour of the day

to his self-created
environment.

For instance,
if the day is called Monday

and the number 7-3-0 comes up,

you have to dis-adapt yourself
from your domestic surroundings

and re-adapt yourself

to an entirely
different environment.

8-00 means everybody
has to look busy.

[TELEPHONE RINGING]

I've got a very good story here
about handicapped children.

MAN:
Handicapped children?
No! You don't...

Uh, yeah, all right.
Look, I'm sorry.

I'll only print
sweetness and light,

even if
it bores the pants off them.

10-3-0 says you can stop
looking busy for 15 minutes...

and then
you have to look busy again.

Hi, Kate.
Hi, Pete.

Think you can use this?

It's about the shortage
of teachers in Botswana.

Good story?

Yeah, they're so short,

they'll take anybody
who can read and write.

I don't know.
I got bawled out

for writing a story
on mugging.

He says my page should only
have sweetness and light,

like Liberace
and Jackie Onassis. I'm sorry.

And so your day is chopped up
into little pieces,

and in each segment of time,

you have adapt
to a new set of circumstances.

May I share a table?

No wonder some people
go off the rails a bit.

Does the noise
in my head bother you?

No.

Pete, Have you still
got that story

about the teacher
shortage in Botswana?

Yeah.
You going to use it?

No. Maybe they can use me.

But in the Kalahari,

it's always Tuesday,
or Thursday if you like,

or Sunday.

No clocks or calendars
tell you to do this or that.

Lately, strange new things
sometimes appeared in the sky--

noisy birds that flew
without flapping their wings.

[BOTTLE CLINKS]

One day,
something fell from the sky.

Xi had never seen
anything like this in his life.

It looked like water,

but it was harder than
anything else in the world.

He wondered why the gods
had sent this thing

down to the earth.

[SPEAKING SAN]

It was the strangest
and most beautiful thing

they had ever seen,

and they wondered why the gods
had sent it to them.

[SPEAKING SAN]

Pabo got his finger
stuck in the thing,

and the children
thought he was very funny.

[CHILDREN LAUGHING]

At first, Xi tried
the thing out to cure thongs.

It had the right shape
and just the right weight.

It was also beautifully smooth
and ideal for curing snakeskin.

And Pabo discovered
you could make music on it,

and every day, they discovered
a new use for the thing.

It was harder and heavier
and smoother

than anything
they'd ever known.

It was the most useful thing
the gods had ever given them,

a real labor-saving device...

but the gods had been careless.

They had sent only one,

and now for the first time
in their lives,

here was a thing
which could not be shared,

because there was only
one of it.

[SPEAKING SAN]

Suddenly, everybody needed it
most of the time.

A thing they didn't need before
became a necessity,

and unfamiliar emotions
began to stir,

a feeling of wanting to own,
of not wanting to share.

And other new things came--

anger, jealousy,
hate, and violence.

[ARGUING IN SAN]

[MOANING]

Xi was angry with the gods.

He shouted,
"Take back your thing!

"We don't want it! Look
at the trouble it brought."

But the gods
did not take it back.

He shouted, "You must be crazy
to send us this thing!

Take it back!"

Then he shouted,
"Look out! Look out!"

But he spoke too late,

and the thing felled
his daughter, Dani.

[CRYING]

[SPEAKING SAN]

[SHOUTING]

Xi carried the thing away
from the shelter and buried it.

That evening,
there was no laughter

and no chatter
around the family fire.

A strange feeling of shame
had come over the family,

and they were very quiet.

Xi said,
"I have buried the thing.

It will not
make us unhappy again."

That night, a hyena smelled
the blood on the thing,

and dug it up...

but a bad-tempered warthog
chased the hyena

away from her territory,
and it dropped the thing.

The next day, Dani found it.

[PLAYING NOTES]

Her brother, Toma,
heard her playing on it,

and he said, "Let me try.
Let me try too."

[SPEAKING SAN]

[BOY CRYING]

That night,
the family was very unhappy.

They began to talk
about this thing

that had come into their lives.

They did not
have a name for it.

They called it
the "evil thing."

Gaboo said, "Perhaps the gods
were absent-minded

"when they dropped
the evil thing on the earth.

"They've always sent us
only good things,

"like the rain, the trees,
and roots and berries to eat.

"because we are their children,
and they love us,

but now, they've sent us
this evil thing."

Xi said, "The thing does not
belong on the earth.

"Tomorrow, I will take it
to the end of the earth

and throw it off."

Gobo said, "I think the end
of the earth must be very far.

"I think you will have to walk
for 20 days.

Perhaps 40."

Xi said, "I will start walking
tomorrow."

[CRYING]

[SPEAKING SAN]

[CRYING]

[***]

2,000 miles to the north
in the state of Birani,

trouble was brewing.

It's 35 million to combat
erosion in the Moda valley,

and 6 million for improvement
of the breeding stock--

Hold it, minister.
We can't expect--

[GUNSHOTS]

Aah!

Get out, my fellow.
We need the car.

That was Sam Boga's gang.

You said they
were in Cabinda.

That's what I thought.

How many got away?

There were two jeeps.
Four got away.

Sam Boga was there?
No.

This time,
he's got to die.

Find him and
kill him yourself.

[GRUNTS]

Bring him here.

[GRUNTING]

Where is Sam Boga?

Where is your hideout?

Bring the one
in the corridor.

Bring that one.

Where is Sam Boga?

Where is your hideout?

Take them...

to the helicopter.

[***]

They went south.

I'll direct you
from the helicopter.

Yes, sir.

Gas guzzler.

RADIO:
Four of the eight assassins
got away in two jeeps.

The other four were
shot down in the Cabinet room

by the security guards
of the president.

Bastards.

The assassins were wearing
the brown T-shirts

which have become the trademark
of the terrorist gang

led by the notorious Sam Boga.

However, eyewitnesses state
that Sam Boga himself

did not take part
in the assassination.

It is assumed that
he masterminded the attack

from a hideout
some distance from the capital.

Government sources announced

that the assassins killed
the ministers of education,

public works and agriculture.

The president,

who miraculously survived
the hail of bullets

with only a flesh wound

will be addressing the nation
in a few moments.

We did it! We did it!
We got the president,

and we got five
of his ministers.

You didn't, you know. That's
him.

It was the will of the Almighty
that I was spared,

but we deeply mourn the deaths
of three members of my Cabinet.

We extend
our deepest sympathies--

He's lying. We got six of them.
I saw them go down.

You killed three
and wounded five...

and you lost four.

Why do I have to work
with amateurs?

Did you get away clean?

Yes, we were in and out
in two minutes.

They'll never find us.

Attention.

What happened?

We ran out of gas.

How long ago?

About 15 minutes, sir.

Okay, let's go!

Now, you tell me.

Where is Sam Boga?

Where is your hideout?

[SCREAMING]

Next time you're going to be
a bit higher.

I'll tell you, I'll tell you!
The banana forest at Dumgaze.

I'll tell you,
I'll tell you!

I'll show you. The banana forest
at Dumgaze.

I'll tell you.
I'll show you where.

Dumgaze. Do you hear me?
Right here, general.

Banana forest at Dumgaze.
Follow me.

Right, general.

The man we want to get
is the president,

not the bloody
Minister of Education.

And this time
I'll come with you.

We'll get him in his bed.

[HELICOPTER APPROACHING]

Cover up! Cover up!

Mount the bazooka.

Move it, move it!

Hurry up, hurry up, hurry up!

Now take cover.
You, you go there.

Not there, you bloody fool.
Get out of there.

Well?
They're there. They're there.

You cannot see them,
but they're there.

Okay.

You see?
There they are.

Okay.
No, hold it.

Okay.

Oh, shit.

Cut it out, man!

Okay.

Born to be our champion.

You showed them.

Beautiful, man.

Quiet.

[VEHICLES APPROACHING]

Stand by.

Let's go.

[***]

NARRATOR:
The most inquisitive creature
in Africa is the baboon.

[SPEAKING SAN]

He said, "That is a very
evil thing you've got there.

"You'd better
give it back to me

"so I can take it away
and throw it off the earth.

"It brought great unhappiness
to me and my family.

"If you don't give it to me,

it'll bring much grief
to you and your family too."

He spoke long and earnestly

until the baboon
began to pay attention.

In the end,
he must have convinced it,

and it dropped the thing,
and he said,

"You have done
a very wise thing."

[***]

MAN:
You want to go into an
Albert Schweitzer in Botswana?

KATE:
I just want
to get away from all this

for six months
or a year, or...

WOMAN: But in the Kalahari?
Mom, it's not in the Kalahari.

Botswana isn't all desert.

[ELEPHANT RUMBLING]

[ROARING]

[ELEPHANT TRUMPETING]

MAN:
You bloody son of a--
Get in there, you...

Why do they put
the bloody nuts

where the bloody spanner
can't get at them?

Right in my bloody face.

[SWEARING IN SETSWANA]

Every year, I have
to lay here on my back.

[SWEARING]

Keep it down
a bit, Mpudi.

I'm trying to tune
the scanner.

Okay, Mpudi.
Go ahead.

MPUDI:
Every year, you comes here

with a bigger tent
and better equipment,

and every year, you turn up
with this same son of a--,

and I have to work
my ass off.

That's funny.

This elephant's dung
shows a complete lack of boron.

[MPUDI SPEAKING
INDISTINCTLY]

Hello, Reverend.
What are you doing on a horse?

Mm, I hit a rock
with my crankcase.

Cracked it wide open. And the
trouble is,

I have to meet the new
schoolteacher at Mabula today.

Oh, boy. Well,
you can have that one,

but she's in a terrible shape.

We've been knocking around
in the Hamadulas.

I promised Mpudi I would
work around here for a while,

so he can have a whole
week to patch her up.

Here, Reverend.
Thank you.

MPUDI:
Get in there,
you bloody son of a--

Morning, Mpudi.

Morning, Mpudi!
Morning, Reverend.

Will this make it
to Mabula and back?

She's going be
a bastard to start.

Sorry, Reverend.

I put in new rings,
and they're very tight.

But will she make it?

You said I could have
a whole week.

This is an emergency.
What we want to know is,

will she make it
to Mabula and back?

I hasn't even
looked at the brakes

or the faulty steering.
Mpudi...

Okay, she'll make it. As soon
as I connect the steering.

She's going to be a bastard
to start. Sorry, Reverend.

There we are, Reverend.
Then she'll be all yours.

I don't think
I can handle her.

I hear Mpudi calls her
the Antichrist.

Well, she is a...thing.

[MOTOR WHIRRING]

I was hoping--

I was ho--

[WHIRRING STOPS]
I was hoping you could go.

Well, Reverend, I'm very
awkward around women.

Yes, aren't we all?
No, it's not like that.

When I'm in the presence
of a lady,

my brain switches off
or something.

I turn into
a complete idiot.

You ought to meet more women.

It only gets worse.

But you will
do this for me?

Come on, Prince. Come on.

Go, boy. Come on, boy.
Come on, come on.

Okay.

Okay.

Son of a-- Choke.

Choke, choke,
choke, choke.

[SWEARING]

You tried to murder me,
you son of a--!

Don't ever switch her off
or let her stall.

You'll never start her again.
I know.

And don't park on a slope.
You got no hand brake.

Now you tell me.

Goodbye, Reverend.
Goodbye, Andrew.

Take care, now. Goodbye.
Bye, Mpudi.

[CAR BACKFIRES]

One day, a very noisy animal
rushed past

where Xi was sleeping.

It left very peculiar tracks,

as if two enormous snakes
had slithered past.

[SPEAKING SAN]

[PLAYING MELODY]

[***]

[HONKING]

[ELEPHANT TRUMPETING]

[CAR BACKFIRES]

[***]

[CAR SPUTTERING]

Ay-yi-yi-yi-yi.

Whoa...

Whoa!

[***]

Ay-yi-yi.

Ay-yi-yi-yi-yi.

[***]

Ay-yi-yi-yi-yi.

Yi-yi!

[***]

[***]

Everybody lie down
on the ground.

All of you, lie down!

[GUNSHOTS]

Come on, lie down,
you and you.

Everybody lie down.

Hey, you.
Didn't you hear me?

Lie down!

[GUNSHOT]

He can't hear. He's deaf.
Shut up!

[***]

[SPEAKING SETSWANA]

Oh...

[SPEAKING SETSWANA]

Hey, wake up! Come
and give us petrol here.

Did two jeeps pass here?

Yes, sir.
They took half my stock.

They took a big drum of petrol,
and they made me to lie down.

If you find them,
please ask them.

They must pay me
my money, sir.

It's such a lot
of stuff they took.

[***]

Morning.

Uh...Miss Thompson?

Yes.

My name--
How do--

My name-- My name is--

My name--

[CAR SPUTTERS]

My name is Andrew Steyn.

How do you do?

The Reverend cracked
his crankcase,

so he asked me to...
Uh...

[***]

Uh, thank you.

How far do we
have to go?

How far do we have to go?

How--Oof!

Oh, sorry.

Hello, Andrew.

Hello, Phineas.

Good morning, madam.

Good morning.
Aah!

Oh, I'm sorry, madam.
Sorry, sorry.

It's all right.

I'm truly sorry, madam.
Sorry.

It's all right.

What are you doing?

[***]

[GRUNTS]

What--What--What are you--
Your brakes are shot.

Yes.
What are you doing?

I'm opening the gate.

How do I get out of here?

No, it's all right. I...

[GRUNTING]

Now, I just, uh...

Oh, this is too weird.
I'm getting out.

No, it's okay.

I, uh, just have to...

What are you doing now?

Well, I--I'm closing
the gate, but don't worry.

You crazy? This thing
hasn't got any brakes!

Do you want to get me killed?
Are you crazy?

All right, Miss Thompson.
It'll come back.

What?
The Land Rover, it'll come back.

What do you mean,
it'll come back?

It's all right.

I suppose you think
that was funny.

I'm sorry.
The brakes don't work.

I noticed.

[KALIMBA PLAYING]

[SINGING]

Xi saw a very strange
looking person and greeted him,

but the man didn't hear him.

[SPEAKING SAN]

Xi said,
"This is a funny stick.

Did it grow on a tree?"

[SPEAKING SAN]

[SCREAMING]

[***]

He couldn't understand
why the man had run away.

Then he realized
the man must've seen

the evil thing he was carrying,
and that's what made him run.

[ENGINE DIES]

She stopped.

I noticed.

Can you start her again?

No. We gave her new rings,
and they're very tight.

How far are we
from the mission?

About 30 miles.

Will we get there
before dark?

I don't know.
This thing has stopped.

I noticed.

Are you sure you can't
start her again?

Yes. This morning it took
a horse and three men.

So now what?
Well, I can make a fire,

and there's some food
and a sleeping bag.

Spend the night?

I'm afraid so.

You sure
this thing's stopped?

Yes. Didn't you
notice?

I can carry you
across.

Then you don't
have to...

Okay.

Aah! Watch it!
Be careful!

Thank you.
Aah! Oh!

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Aah!

I'm sorry.
Oh, look at my dress!

My shoes! I've lost my shoes!
Your what?

My shoes.

Aah!
I'm sorry.

Well, watch it, buster.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'll fetch your bags.

No don't. You'll drop them.
I'll get them myself.

I'm all right.
I'm okay.

Leave that one.
I don't need it.

Idiot.

[GRUNTING]

What are you doing?
Leave me alone! Don't you dare!

Go away!

It's all right.
She's gone.

Keep away!
You keep away from me!

No, I wasn't-- There was this
warthog.

What warthog?

She's gone now, but--
Keep away.

I wasn't--
Go away!

I wasn't--

I didn't...

Only about half a mile away,

Xi was fixing dinner
when he was rudely interrupted.

The rhino is the self-appointed
fire-prevention officer.

When he sees a fire,
he rushes in and stamps it out.

[SPEAKING SAN]

[***]

Do you work here in Botswana?

Yes, I--

Yes. Yes...

And what do you do?

I--I collect manure.

I--

Get away from--
Get away from--

No. Leave me alone!

Miss Thompson?

Miss Thompson?

Miss Thompson?

Miss Thompson!

Oh, it's all right.

He's gone.
Who's gone?

The rhinoceros.
What bloody rhinoceros?

Didn't you see him?
He stamped out the fire.

You stamped out the fire.
I saw you.

No, he did it first.

I didn't want him
to come back, so...

But didn't you see?
Keep away.

Miss Thompson,
if you make a fire,

and a rhinoceros sees it,

he comes
and stamps it out.

Rhinos do that.

It's a most interesting
phenomenon.

You get these sudden urges,

and you come up with warthogs
and rhinoceroses.

All right, I'll show you.

I'll make another fire.

Think I'm lying.

I'll show you.

You see how
I'm making another fire?

You'll see.
It'll come back.

Think I'm a liar?

Maybe it's too far away.

Maybe it's upwind.

[SPEAKING SETSWANA]

[***]

Mr. Steyn...

[GREETINGS IN SETSWANA]

Ask them.

They'll tell you rhinoceroses
always stamp out fires.

I don't speak
the language.

Okay, I'll ask them.

[SPEAKING SETSWANA]

[SPEAKING SETSWANA]

See?
I noticed.

They're Tswanas.

They always shake their heads
when they mean to say yes.

[SIGHS]

[***]

What are you doing?

I'm making coffee.

Sir! Sir, some people
went through here.

They didn't show me
their passports,

and they smashed down
the barrier.

They've got guns.
This is Frank, sir.

Frank, were they
traveling in two jeeps?

Yes, sir.

They are followed by armored
cars. Can you see them?

Excuse me, sir.

Yes, sir.
I can see one.

Stop them
right there!

Yes, sir.

Stop! Stop, stop,
stop! Stop!

Frank? Frank?

Frank, what was that noise?

Frank?

I stopped them, sir.

Right. Now,
explain to them

that they cannot cross
our border under arms.

We cannot allow them

to violate
our territorial integrity.

Yes, sir--
This is Lieutenant Mabasha.

Request permission
to cross your border

in hot pursuit of Sam Boga.
Sorry, Lieutenant.

We cannot allow an armed force
to come into Botswana.

But I've got to get Sam Boga.
He shot up half our Cabinet.

Yes, our police
will track him down

and hand him over to you,
dead or alive.

[SPEAKING SETSWANA]

[SPEAKING SETSWANA]

Can't they help us?

They'll take a message
to the river.

I think I can get the thing
out of the river.

There's an electric winch
on the front.

[***]

Ah!

Ouch. Ow. Ouch.

Ooh. Ow! Oh.

Mr. Steyn?

Mr. Steyn.

Miss Thompson?
Could you help me, please?

Don't look.

That's a watape tree.

You mustn't go near
a watape tree.

They grab you.

Could you hand me my gown,
please?

It's in the suitcase.

The pink one
with the white edging.

Ow! Thank you.

[WINCH WHIRRING]

Uh.
Sorry.

Ow.

Ouch.

Sorry.

Ow!

[WINCH WHIRRING]

Sorry.

Thank you very much.
Thank you.

[WINCH WHIRRING TO A STOP]

Ay-yi-yi-yi-yi...

Yi-yi-yi-yi.

[***]

That morning,

Xi saw the ugliest person
he'd ever come across.

She was as pale as something

that had crawled out
of a rotting log.

Her hair was quite gruesome,
long and stringy and white,

as if she was very old.

She was very big.
You'd have to dig the whole day

to find enough food
to feed her.

[GASPS]

Go away.

[SPEAKING SAN]

Although it was a hot day,

she was covering her body
with skins

that looked as if
they were made from cobwebs.

She was doing strange
and magical things,

and it struck him that
she must be one of the gods,

and he wondered what
she was doing here on earth,

but he was glad he'd met her,

because now he could give
the evil thing back to her

and go home to his family,
so he said, tactfully,

he didn't need the thing
anymore

and she could have it back,

but she was very rude,
and she walked away.

[XI SPEAKING SAN]

That's a Bushman.
How did he get here?

I don't know.
He's very rude.

There was another god.
He had a fire inside him

and the smoke came out
through his mouth and nostrils.

Xi said politely,

"It was very kind of you
to send us this thing,

"but it made my family unhappy.
Please take it back."

Sorry, no sabe.

Where's the truck?

[***]

I'll try and get it down.

There was a peculiar sound

and then Xi saw a most
amazing animal approaching.

Its legs went round and round
instead of up and down,

and there was a weird-looking
god on its back.

He wore a blue skin on his head
and a red one on his body

and hair grew on his face.

What the hell happened?
Where have you been?

The Reverend
is sure you've left.

The funny thing
about these gods

was that they couldn't speak.
They could only make

chattering sounds,
like monkeys.

Hi.

What happened, man?
Where's the Antichrist?

What the hell
did you do that for, huh?

I'll tell you later.
Let's get it down.

And the little Bushman?
What's he doing in these parts?

He was trying
to tell me something.

[SPEAKING SAN]

You speak Bushman?
Yeah.

[SPEAKING SAN]

The hairy one could speak.

[SPEAKING SAN]

He says, "Thank you
for the bottle,

but you can
have it back now."

Oh, I didn't give it to him.

Well, he don't want the bottle.

Then he'd better
throw it away.

The hairy one said,
"We don't want the thing.

You'll have to
throw it away yourself."

Xi was very disappointed.

He thought
it was unfair of the gods

to make him
throw the thing off the earth.

In fact, he began to doubt
whether they really were gods.

[COUGHING]

Get out. Get out. Get out!

Get in there.
Get in there!

Move it, move it.

Let's go. Let's go.
Let's go. Let's go!

[ENGINE SPUTTERING]

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]

Yes, yes, yes.

Here comes the great
white hunter to the rescue.

Miss Thompson, I presume.

Hello, Steyn.

How would you like to travel
in style for a change?

Yes, thank you.

How do you open this thing?
With a can opener?

Quaint.
My lady?

Thank you very much,
Mr. Steyn, for--

Bye-bye, Steyn.

Goodbye,
Miss Thompson.

By the way,
I am Jack Hind.

Boy, is the Reverend worried.

He got to me
on the short-wave,

so I offered to look for you,
and that was very sweet of me.

It sure was.

Would you like to sit
over there?

Sure. Oh, thank you,
Mr. Steyn.

See you, Steyn.
See you, Mpudi.

[ENGINE SPUTTERING]

I don't want to talk about it.

She thinks I'm a lunatic
and I don't blame her.

You know, she asked me
what do I do,

and I say I collect manure.

I don't tell her I analyze it
for my doctoral thesis.

I bet you she thinks
I shovel the stuff.

[POP MUSIC PLAYING]

Was it rough?

I'd rather not
talk about it.

That rough?

Well, it won't
be long now,

and your suffering will be over.

Only when
you get to the Mission,

you'll have to stand there

and look beautiful
for a few minutes

while the whole tribe
sings their welcome song at you.

Then you can relax, have a bath,
and a nice breakfast.

Is it true
that when a rhino sees a fire,

he stamps it out?

Where did you hear that one?
Did Steyn tell you?

Now, why would he want to
tell you a thing like that?

I'd rather not talk about it.

Here. This will put some hair
on your chest.

That's all I need.

STEYN:
She wouldn't believe me

about the warthog
and the bloody rhinoceros.

MPUDI:
What bloody rhinoceros?

I don't want
to talk about it.

So how did this thing
get up the tree?

She got stuck
in a watape tree,

and I had to...

You know she's got flowers
on her panties?

So that's how this thing
got up the tree.

Yes.

[BELL CLANGING]

[SINGING IN SETSWANA]

Don't I wave or take a bow
or something?

No.

RADIO ANNOUNCER:
Notorious Communist
guerrilla leader

Sam Boga
and his band of assassins

have crashed through the border
into Botswana.

It is believed that they are
heading for Mozambique.

Well, how many?
Not even 300.

I told you bastards,
don't waste ammunition!

Now we can't even
fight back anymore.

All of you switch your guns over

from automatic
to single-fire.

RADIO ANNOUNCER:
Anyone who withholds
information

which could lead to the capture
of these criminals--

That's automatic,
that's single.

However, citizens are warned

that Sam Boga
is a dangerous person,

and that he and his gang
are well-armed,

so it'll be unwise--

And why are you
so beautiful?

I'm going to the school
to give her these.

You're going to
look like that?

Like what?
Like it's a funeral.

You've got to smile, man,
and tell her she looks good.

How come suddenly
you're an expert on women?

I've got seven wives.
How many you got?

So why aren't you at home
with your seven wives?

I know how to marry them.

Nobody knows
how to live with them.

So what did you
marry them for?

MPUDI:
Some day I have to tell you
the facts of life.

"And yet we all agree
that every plate we break

was cracked by Mr. Nobody..."

[ENGINE APPROACHING]

[HORN HONKING]

[HONKING STOPS]

[CHILDREN CHATTERING
AND LAUGHING]

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

Come in.

ALL:
Good morning, Mr. Steyn.

Morning, class.

Good morning, Mr. Steyn.

I, uh, I brought--

[CHILDREN LAUGHING]

I'm sorry--

Please, just leave it.

I brought you your shoes.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

Come in.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]
Come in.

Shoe.

[CHILDREN LAUGHING]

[***]

You don't want to talk
about it, huh?

Shame.

[FLUTE PLAYING MELODY]

[GOATS BLEATING]

There were some
ridiculous-looking animals,

but they looked good to eat
and he was hungry.

[BLEATING]

[YELLING]

Suddenly, a young boy
made chattering noises at Xi,

so he greeted him and said,
"I shot one of those animals.

It'll go to sleep soon,
and then we can eat it."

[SPEAKING IN SETSWANA]

But the boy ran away,

maybe to call his family
to join in the feast.

[***]

There was a weird sound,

and another of those
strange animals

with the round legs appeared.

The young boy and a grownup
got out of it,

and they seemed very excited.
Xi said, "Come, sit down.

There's enough meat
for all of us."

[SPEAKING IN SETSWANA]

But the man
was rude and greedy.

He took the whole animal.

Xi said,
"You have very bad manners.

"If you want to eat
the whole thing,

I'll have to shoot another one
for myself."

[SPEAKING IN SETSWANA]

The man shouted at him,

but he didn't want
to have anything to do

with such an uncouth person,
so he ignored him.

Suddenly,
there was a thunderclap.

The animals ran away,
and Xi ran after them.

He was very hungry.

[SHOUTING IN SETSWANA]

Do you speak English?

You are free
to remain silent

until you have
seen your lawyer,

but if you choose
to speak now,

whatever you say
will be taken down

as evidence against you.

And why are you
so beautiful?

I got to go to court.

What did you do?

No. The cops
were here.

They say they caught a little
Bushman for stock theft.

They say all he can speak
is "Xixo, xixo, xixo,"

so they want me to interpret.

Call Xi now.

MAN:
Xixo.

They brought Xi
into a place

where there were
several people.

He smiled at them in greeting,
but nobody smiled back.

Interpreter.

You, Xixo,
are hereby charged

with wrongfully and unlawfully
slaughtering one goat

on the 21st of September, 1980,
in Oniamatokwe.

How plead you?
Guilty or not guilty?

Mpudi found it very difficult
to interpret,

because in his language
there was no word for "guilty."

[TRANSLATING TO SAN]

Finally, he asked,
"Did you shoot an animal?"

Xi said, "Yes, I did,
but that man took it.

He did not want
to share it with me."

Well, what does he plead?

Not guilty.

They gave him
the death sentence.

For killing a goat?

No.

Three months in jail,
same thing.

He's going to die
for sure.

He never seen a wall
in his life.

Now, he got walls
all around him.

But didn't you
explain to them?

They said,
"Silence in court."

But surely
they ought to know.

Nobody knows the Bushmen.

Nobody ever goes
into the deep Kalahari.

How come you know
so much about them?

Way back, when Botswana
belonged to the British,

I hit a policeman
because he insulted my father,

so I fled,
right into the Kalahari.

I died, you know.
Dehydration.

Some of those little buggers
found me,

and they buried me.

Only my head stuck out,
and for about two weeks,

they kept on pushing water
and food into my mouth,

and when they dug me up,
I was nearly white,

like you, yeah.

I lived with them
for three years.

They're the sweetest
little buggers.

He's going to die for sure.

[***]

[DOGS BARKING IN DISTANCE]

Can I go to Mahadi
tomorrow?

You want to go and see
little what's his name?

I want to get him out.

Now, don't do
anything silly.

They got to
let him out.

Maybe if we explain
to them.

You coming too?

Yes.

[DOOR UNLOCKS]

[BOTH SPEAKING SAN]

Says he's sorry.

He try to eat the food
tomorrow.

Has he eaten anything?
It's been a week.

No.

Of course we're worried.
We can't force-feed him.

STEYN:
You've got
to let him out.

He's got 11 weeks to go.

Well, is there no way?

Can't we buy him out
or something?

Well, if somebody
wants to employ him

as a convict-laborer,

but he has no experience,
no qualifications.

MPUDI:
He's got qualifications.

He could teach you things
about plants and animals.

Yes.

We want to employ him
as an ecological expert.

[***]

[SPEAKING SAN]

He will have to remain
in your employ

for the full 11 weeks.

If he leaves, we will
have to hunt him down

and lock him up
for a very long time.

Okay, thanks.

[***]

[SPEAKING SAN]

We can't put him inside.
No, you're right.

[SPEAKING SAN]

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYS
ON RADIO]

[ANNOUNCER SPEAKING
IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE]

[SPEAKING SAN]

I understand the words,
but the meaning?

Talks about a bad thing,
uh, an evil thing,

and about the end of the world.

Well, explain to him
he has to stay with us

for the full 11 weeks.

He doesn't know from weeks.

All right. We'll tell him
when it's okay to go.

[VEHICLE APPROACHING]

[POP MUSIC PLAYING]

Hello, Andrew, Mpudi.
Hello, Jack.

I hear you've got a Bushman
working for you.

Is that him?
Yeah, his name is Xi.

Are they good trackers?
Best in the world.

Mind if I borrow him?

One of my bloody guests
wounded a cougar,

and my trackers can't find it.

This is where
we lost him.

[MPUDI SPEAKING SAN]

[SPEAKING SAN]

You'll see, he'll find him.
Shh.

[ROARING]

[***]

Hey! Hey!
Wait for us!

Scram. Go away!

Shoo. Shoo. Get.

Go away.

[SHOUTING]

[BOTH SPEAKING SAN]

I'm sorry,
I didn't realize--

I don't want to talk about it.

[***]

What do you want?

Hurry up.

Hurry up. Get them out.

Come on. Come on. Get him.
Hurry up, man.

You can drop those guns.

[GRUNTS]

You want me
to let fly?

Now get out,
with your hands up.

[SPEAKING SETSWANA]

Bring out
all the kids.

Sergeant, I'm going to walk
due east from here to Motambe,

and I'm taking
all these kids with me.

If I see one truck

or one airplane
or one policeman or one soldier

or one person,
we'll mow these kids down.

Have you got
short-wave in there?

Yes.
Now get on to headquarters,

and tell them I want
a corridor 10 miles wide.

The army and the police
better clear out everybody,

and they've got to put down
food and water every 20 miles,

and get the hell out of the way
before we get there.

Tell them that.
[SPEAKING SETSWANA]

All right,
get them into a circle.

I want a big circle around me.

You've got to leave
the small ones here.

It's miles and miles
to Motambe.

They'll never
make it.

[SPEAKING SETSWANA]

Okay, now buzz off,

and start clearing out
the people from this end,

because I want
to start marching in two hours.

And I warn you,
you better clear out everybody.

[ENGINE REVVING]

MPUDI:
Clutch!

[SPEAKING SAN]

Brake. Brake!

Clutch. Clutch!

I'm teaching him
to drive,

just for
the hell of it.

Nothing else to do
around here anyhow.

You still mooning
about the schoolmarm?

Sort of. I want to move up
to Nioko for a few days,

so we can do a game count.

So how is this thing going
to get us through the jungle?

We strip it down.

Come on, Xi.
Come on!

[SPEAKING SAN]

Ha, ha, ha.
He don't know from doors.

[SPEAKING SETSWANA]

[SPEAKING SETSWANA]

Stop playing
that bloody game.

Okay, it's time.
Let's go. Move them.

Come on, everybody up.
Come on, let's go.

Keep them going.
Keep them in a circle around me.

Move them. Move them.
Don't leave any stragglers.

Keep your paws to yourself.
You shut up, see?

Get them into a circle.
A circle, a circle!

Stop yelling at them.

That's not a bloody circle.
Can't you do anything right?

I can't get them into a circle.

They keep coming up
in a square.

All right, make it a square.
Let them walk in a square.

Keep them going.
Don't let them straggle.

Who says
they'll come this way?

He says he wants a corridor
10 miles wide.

Well, I'm sorry,
ladies and gentlemen.

We'll have to
get out of the way for now

until he passes this point.

Where can I find Andrew Steyn?

Yeah, you'd better
warn him too.

He's about five miles
that-a-way.

You turn right at the, uh--
Damn it, I'll come and show you.

Johnny, will you
take them to Machadi?

Tell them to sing.

Come on, everybody.
Sing, sing!

[CHILDREN BEGIN SINGING]

[PILOT SPEAKS SETSWANA]

[CHILDREN SINGING]

Wouldn't you know?

Now where the hell
do we find him?

They left
this morning.

Come on!

[MPUDI SPEAKING SAN]

[CHILDREN SINGING]

They went through.

They'll meet up
with Boga for sure.

Is there
a way around this?

It's a hell
of a long way.

Well, let's go.

[CHILDREN SINGING
IN THE DISTANCE]

Mpudi.

One, two, three...

four, five...

six adult oryx.

[SPEAKING SAN]

He says there are people things
down there.

Where?
Down there.

Army truck. Unloading something.

I wonder
what they're up to.

Looks like food.
Cooking pots and stuff.

Maybe it's a picnic.

That's funny.
They're going away.

They went away
and just left their stuff.

Yeah, funny.

Oh, well.

One, two, three,
four, five, six...

[SINGING]

You've got to let them rest.

The smaller ones can't keep up.

They can rest when
they get to the food.

You're driving them
too hard.

It's a long way
to Motambe.

But you said 20 miles.

They can't walk 20 miles
without eating.

Halt!

[SOBBING]

Look at that!

I told you,
stop playing that bloody game!

You've got to let
the little ones turn back.

Nobody turns back.

Next thing, everybody's
going to get sore feet.

Next one drops out,
I shoot him!

You, you, help her.

If you got to carry her,
carry her.

If I catch you
playing again, by God...

March!

They can't march 20 miles.
They're not soldiers!

If they want to eat,
they'd better march 20 miles!

Are you scared
it'll spoil your image

if you admit
you made a mistake?

Halt!

You! Come here.

See that hill over there?

Go to the top
and wave this thing

until the army people
see you.

Then you go down to them,

and tell them Sam Boga
made a mistake.

Now, I want them to leave food
every 10 miles.

Understand?

Yes.
Now, get going. Move!

March!

One ostrich, and
four, five, six, seven--

[SPEAKING SAN]

A lot of children.

The food must have been
left there for them.

Hey, what the hell?
They've got guns.

MPUDI:
The kids?

No. There are men down there
with guns.

It's no picnic.

I think those kids are hostages.

What was that on the news
about Sam Boga?

You reckon?

[SPEAKING SAN]

That man said
I must go to the top,

and I must wave
my conga.

So Miss Kate said
20 miles is too much.

Is she down there?
Yes.

[***]

We'll have to immobilize them.

Are Bushmen
good stalkers?

Best in the world.

Let him
have a look at them.

[SPEAKING SAN]

All right.

Explain to him

that the men with the guns
are bad men

and we have to
put them to sleep.

[MPUDI TRANSLATING
FOR XI]

[SPEAKING SAN]

He want to know how did
all those people get in there?

No, no, they're not...

You explain.

One hour, then we move.

I'm going to have a snooze.

[***]

"Dear Miss Thompson--

"Your abductors have been
injected with an immobilizer.

When they go to sleep,
you must disarm them."

Tell him
he must give her the note

only after he's shot
all the men.

[MPUDI TRANSLATING
FOR XI]

STEYN:
And when he shoots,

he must pull back on the thread
very quickly

so the man can think
it was a horsefly

or a wasp that stung him.

[MPUDI TRANSLATING]

Mm-hm. He's fast.
It'll work.

He must dip the needle
each time.

[BOTH SPEAKING SAN]

[***]

MPUDI:
I can't see
the little bugger.

Yeah, I see him.

Now, look at that.

MPUDI:
Yeah, he's clever.

Shh, shh, shh, shh.

Shh, shh, shh, shh.

Shh, shh, shh, shh.

[***]

[GRUNTS]

Shh, shh, shh, shh.
Shh, shh, shh, shh.

Shh, shh, shh, shh.

[***]

[GRUNTS]

[GRUNTS]

[GRUNTING]

Nothing's happening
down there.

It takes time.

[SPEAKING SAN]

Who are you?

[SPEAKING SAN]

["ROCK-A-BYE BABY" PLAYS]

You know,
some of those guys are down.

She's going to need help
when they wake up.

Hey, Charlie, wake up, man.
You've got to wake up.

Come on, you can't sleep now.
Come on...

[MUTTERS]

[GRUNTS]

[***]

[BOTH LAUGHING]

[SPEAKING SAN]

We need some rope
to tie them up.

There's plenty
in the Land Rover.

Okay--no,
he can fetch it.

I didn't teach him
for nothing.

[BOTH SPEAKING SAN]

Says he don't understand
the gears.

[SPEAKING SAN]

Told him he can drive
in any gear.

Okay, let's go!

And you take that one.

And you, that one.

And I'll take--

[***]

There's only six.
There should be eight.

Maybe they're asleep as well.

I don't know.

All right.

I want you to circulate
among the children.

Quietly.

And tell them
that when we grab the guns,

they must run very fast
into that crevice behind us

and take cover, okay?

Good.

[WHISPERING]

Ready? Go!

[GUNSHOT]

Come on!

[***]

[CHILDREN SCREAMING]

No! Get down, get down.

And stay there.

Get back, get back,
all of you.

Hey, watch it!

Sorry.

We've got to
outflank them.

You go around.
I'll keep you covered.

[***]

Get back. Get back.

[CHILDREN SHOUTING]

Hurry up.

Kate?

You okay?
Yep.

Who are they shooting at?
I don't know.

Four, five, six.

There are two missing.

Yeah, this one here,

and I heard some shots
from over there.

Look.

[***]

[SHOUTING]

Roll over.

Mpudi, hold him.

[ENGINE TURNS OVER]

[SPEAKING SAN]

[***]

[SHOUTING]

What happened?

Have you got water in there?

Hold these for me.

Get up.

But what happened, man?

Oh, it's a long story.

What happened to those guys?
Are they all dead?

Did you kill them?

They've been immobilized.
They're sleeping.

Where's Kate
and the kids?

They're hiding back there.
They can come out now.

Oh, my God.
Mpudi.

Keep that guy covered.

[HORN HONKING]

Kate! It's okay.
You can come out now.

[HORN HONKING]

We've got everything
under control. You can come out.

Jack?

Hi there.
The marines have landed.

It's okay.
You can all come out now.

All right,
come on, come on.

[SPEAKING SAN]

[***]

You're safe now.

Sergeant, you'd better
collect those men

before they wake up.

You all right?

Did you fix him good?

Yeah, get up.

Walk.

Ay-yi-yi!

[***]

Oh, you had
a tough time, huh?

Watch out!

Stop fooling around, Steyn!

I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.

Ay-yi-yi-yi-yi.

I'm sorry.

It's all right, Steyn.
Move.

[***]

My lady.

Sergeant, you'd better
get on the radio

and organize some buses
to take the kids home.

How come suddenly
he's the big hero?

Ay-yi. We'd better get back
to our equipment.

[SPEAKING SAN]

Says thank you
and goodbye

and hopes you have
lots of children.

Tell him thank you.
I'll miss him.

He can't
use that stuff.

Well, I have to--
Bushmen don't know about money.

Well, what else
can I give him?

There's nothing here
he can use.

Bushmen don't need things.

He's got to take the money.
It's the law.

[SPEAKING SAN]

[SPEAKING SAN]

He's going the wrong way.
The Kalahari's that way.

[SPEAKING SAN]

Says he got to find
the evil thing

and get rid of it.

I don't know.

I'm going to miss
the little bugger.

Yeah. Me too.

You going to look
like that forever?

Like what?

Like Jack Hind
is a better man than you.

No, I'm going
to talk to her.

Tell her you were
the big hero.

No, I can't do that,
but I do want to talk to her.

I'll tell her...

I'll say,
"Look, Miss Thompson,

"I know you think I'm an idiot,
but normally, I'm quite normal.

"It's only when I'm
in the presence of a lady

"that I, uh...

"It's really just an interesting
psychological phenomenon.

"If a man who is susceptible

"to a type of para-Freudian
syndrome like this

encounters a nubile female,
what happens?"

I suppose another
big word happens.

Too erudite, huh?

Yeah,
whatever that means.

Okay. I'll put it more simply.
I'll say--

"Look, Miss Thompson--

"Kate, Kate.

It's really only an interesting
psychological phenomenon."

She'll understand that bit.
She's a schoolteacher.

I'll say,
"When there's no lady present,

I can catch the tiniest insect
without hurting it."

If she gets to know me better,

she'll see
I'm not such a stumblebum.

All I need is a little practice.
If I could just--

Wait for me.
You need some moral support.

[***]

There she is.

You better do your thing
before the pupils come.

Yeah.

Good morning.

Morning,
Miss Thompson.

Morning.

How are you?
Fine, thanks. How are you?

Fine, thanks,
and how are you?

[GROANS]

I'm fine, thank you.

Uh, Kate, I know
you think I'm an idiot...

but I'm not
really like that.

It's...
only when I'm around wom--

Around you. I'm sorry.

Normally, I'm quite normal,

but whenever
I'm in the presence of a lady,

my fingers turn into thumbs,
my brain switches off.

Watch it!

It's flour.

I noticed.

It's actually--

Actually, it's really

only an interesting
psychological phenomenon.

Perhaps it's some
Freudian syndrome.

That day,
when I brought you your shoes,

I actually came to apologize

for the stupid things I did
when I met you at Mabula

and I wanted to explain that

I'm not really
as stupid as that,

but then, of course,
I blew it, and I...

So I don't blame you
if you think...

[KATE GIGGLING]

But it's really only
an interesting psychological...

When you get to know me better,
you'll see

that I'm not always stumbling.

[LAUGHING]

It's really just an interesting
psychological phenomenon.

Yes, you are a very interesting
psychological phenomenon,

and I think you're very sweet.

Ay-yi-yi-yi-yi.

[***]

Xi was beginning to think

he would never
find the end of the earth,

and one day, suddenly,
there it was.

[***]