All language subtitles for The.Andy.Griffith.Show.S01E17.iNTERNAL.BDRip.x264-LiBRARiANS-en

(whistling sprightly tune)

Starring Andy Griffith...

with Ronny Howard.

Also sfam‘ng Don Knotrs.

(laughs)

Well‘ there we go,
Sheriff.

Floyd!

-Oh! What, whai's, what's
ihe mat‘ler’? -My sideburns.

Your sideburns? What's
lhe mal‘ler with your sideburns?

Why. they‘re both even.

They‘re both even?

(mumbling)

Well, I‘ll be dogged!

How'd that happen?

Well, Ideclare, Floyd,

I believe you're
getting the hang of it.

Look at that.

They’re the right length
and everything.

| knowjust what...

I‘ve got
a better idea...

(mumbling)

If we always...

there you are, you see.

Now I’ll out 'em just like
that all the time, look.

Right here.
right here.

That’ll be
your mark, Andy.

lappreciate that, Floyd.

Now, that‘s what I call
personalized service.

How about a little
witch hazel?

Why not?

Sheriff! Oh, I sure am
glad I found you.

Boy, have I been doing
some detecting.

Have you really?

I sure have.

You want
to hear about it?

Well. wait, wail,
Floyd, Floyd, Floyd,

Being in public
office and all,

I don't dare
get too adorable,

Andy, listen.

Wait a minute.

If you got a little
talcum powder

I could use a
little of that.

What is it, Barney?

You know that still
we've been suspecting?

-The one up at Hawk's Point?
-Yeah.

Well, Ijust come that close
to knocking ilover.

-No. You come that close?
»Yeah. Yeah.

Well, what happened?

Well, I couldn't find it.

How‘d you know
it was that close?

Well, because I seen Otis
Campbell walking up the road

towards Hawk's Point
and he seemed just fine.

But about an hour later,

I seen him coming back
on that same road,

and this time
he was weaving and singing

and throwing kisses
to the world.

Your not being a law man
I don't suppose

that wouldn't mean
a whole lot to you,

Barney, you know, you
might have just pinpointed

the area we're looking for.

You really think so?

Well, Iwouldn't
be surprised.

Well, then, come on!

Let‘s get up there
and spread out a dragnet.

Well, now, wait a minute, here.

I got an obligation to Floyd.

It's fine to
catch a moonshiner,

but it still ain't right
for me to leave the barber

until he's officially
removed the towel.

Right, Floyd?

(both laughing)

Make it
snappy, Floyd,

| just know
that still's out there.

Oh, there's
the sheriff.

Good!

Let‘s go in.

Jennifer!

You will be the death of me yet.

How many times must I tell you?

A lady never goes
into a barber shop.

I'm sorry, Clarabelle.

I keep forgetting.

It's just that the odor
of witch hazel draws me.

Jennifer, you have got
to control yourself.

But we‘ve got to tell
the sheriff what we know.

Well, we will.

We'll wait
outside for him.

Morning, ladies...
Miss Jennifer, Miss Clarabelle.

Andy, what a
pleasant surprise.

Yeah, how about that.

You just had a haircut.
didn't you?

Well, yes, ma‘am,
I did.

I can smell
the witch hazel.

Jennifer.

Uh. did you ladies
by any chance

want to talk to me?

Well, yes. in your
official capacity.

Oh, well,
in that case...

there, I guess
I'm official.

Me, too.
What's on your mind?

Well, we know
the whereabouts

of a moonshine still.

Well, we appreciate
that, ladies

but I'm afraid
you're a little late.

We already know
about that still.

We're on ourway
to Hawk's Point now

to knock it over.

But it isn't
at Hawk's Point.

Nowheres near.

Ain‘t that
cute, Andy?

Them trying to tell
us where it is?

Less than an hour ago
l was that close to it.

But we saw it.

The way I spotted her

I seen Otis Campbell
stagger down the road singing.

-Well, being a trained crime
detector, why, I... -Barney,

Barney, Barney, Barney.

I believe Miss Clarabelle
said something

that we ought to listen to.

What was that
again, Miss Clarabelle?

I said, we saw the still
with our own eyes.

I believe that's closer
than you was, Bamey,

Well, it is if

Now, are you sure
you really saw it?

Oh, yes. It was up
on Council Flat.

The man’s name
is Ben Sewell.

He owns a potato farm about
half a mile down Ash Road.

He was wearing
blue overalls,

a brown felt hat,
a red plaid shirt,

and he was pouring and
coming the bottles himself,

Well, Andy, we can't
go traipsing off

on flimsy information
like that.

Well, now, after
all, Deputy Fife,

we are servants
of the people,

and when two
respectable citizens,

like the ladies here,

report a crime, why, it‘s
our duty to act on it,

Ladies, Iwant you to know
the law thanks you.

We like to see
justice done.

Don't think we’re
old-fashioned, Sheriff.

We believe a body has
a right to a nip, now and then.

But it should always
be for an occasion

is what we believe.

Come, Jennifer.

(inhaling deeply)

Jennifer!

Bye!

Bless her heart.

If this tip pans out,

I believe I'll get her
a bottle of witch hazel

all to herself.

(humming)

There it is, Barney.

The Morrison sisters is right.

That sure is old Ben
and he sure is runnin' a still.

-Yeah, you know what
I bet happened? -What?

I bet he seen I was closin’ in
on him up at Hawk's Point.

Quick as a flash, he moved
the whole shebang over here.

I guess you don't bet
that's what happened, huh?

Well, what‘s
the difference?

Main thing is,
we got him,

Yeah, well, let‘s, uh,
let's, uh...

let‘s go in shootin’.

Now, easy, Barney.

That's old Ben;
he's a friend of ours.

There ain't no call
to go shootin' at old Ben,

We'll just move in
and take him easy like.

Come on.

Howdy, Ben!

I say, Ben,
you got company!

We...

(gunshot)

(gunshot)

Don‘t go shootin'
at old Ben, huh?

Well, ain't that better

than him shootin'
at did us?

Hey, Ben!

It's me,
Andy Taylor!

And me,
Barney File!

You better give up, Ben,

or I‘m gonna come in
and get ya.

0h, Andy?
That’s you and Barney?

Come on, glad to see ya,

I'm sorry I shot
at ya, boys.

I thought you's the law.

What do you think this is,
a Boy Scout badge?

I meant that mean law,
federal men, revenuers.

0h. .

Hey, how 'bout a nip?

I got some aged
stuff back yonder

pert a‘near
three weeks old.

Yeah, well,
I appreciate it, Ben.

That sounds awful good,
but I‘m afraid we’re on duty.

You are?

Yeah, we're makin'
an arrest.

-Sure enough, who you arrestin'?
-You.

Me? What would you be
arrestin' me for?

Oh, now, Ben, you know
mnnin' a still's

against the law.

Sure, it is...

against the federal law,
but you're local law.

Now, Ben, it’s against
the law period.

Now, this is a dry county

and I‘m supposed
to keep it that way,

Oh, Andy.

| just want to
warn you, prisoner,

anything you say/ll
be held against you.

Let‘s take him in,
Sheriff.

Let's go, Ben.

And so, ladies,
the Mayberry Sheriff‘s Office

officially thanks you

for your valuable
information and cooperation

in the apprehending of
the violator, Ben Sewell.

Well, we were glad
to help, Sheriff.

Anyways, ladies, wejust
wanted to let you know

you can rest easy now 'cause
me and Sheriff Taylor

has wiped out moonshining
in this county for good,

Oh, I don't think so.

You don't?

No.

Do we, Jennifer?

No, indeed.

We have reference
to the still

that Rube Sloan is operating
at Furness Crick.

Rube Sloan's
operating a still?

Well, that's the most ridiculous
thing I ever heard of.

How would you
know that, anyways?

Oh .. we take walks
and we see things,

Well, they was right
about Ben Sewell.

Maybe we‘d be smart
to pay old Rube a visit,

Much obliged to you,
ladies.

Well, we better get
on with business.

Bye.

é‘é’,
«22%;
5‘
east".

Bye.

Well, shall we get
back to our work, Jennifer?

Oh, by all means,
Clarabelle.

All right, halt.

Tum around.

Reach.

Barney, you already
frisked him twice.

I know, Andy. We can't
be too careful

with two moonshiners
in here.

There‘s liable to
be a jail break.

Two moonshiners?!

Ben Sewell!

So itwas you
tipped 'em off.

You no—good squealer...

Hey, Rube,
Rube, Rube.

That rough stuff
don‘t go in here.

We don't allow it.

Ben.

Now, now the fact is

neither one of you
told on the other.

Then how come
you know about us?

Well, now I'm afraid

that‘s something
I can't tell you, Rube,

No, it wouldn't do
to tell you that.

Barney, how about you
telling us?

Are you joshin'?

You know it’s against
the code of the law man

to divulge his source
of information.

Well, wild horses couldn't
drag that out of me.

-Was it Frank Watkins?
-Rube, don't even try.

Les Peterson.

You're just wastin'
your breath.

Well, will you tell me
HI guess right?

You ain‘t gonna
get nothin' outta me—

not a word,
not a sign,

Joe Richards.

Let me see now.

They ain‘t been anybody else
up at my place lately

‘ceptin' those Morrison sisters,
and...

The Morrison sisters!

That’s who it was,
wasn't it?

It was the Morrison sisters.

Darn you, Rube Sloan.

Yeah, they's the ones, Rube.

Them nosy biddies.

Well, lcan tell you
one thing, Rube.

Mayberry/d be a whole lot
nicer town to live in

ifwe had more fine,
honest, upright citizens

like Clarabelle and
Jennifer Morrison.

Yes, sir.

That'll be four dollars, Otis.

Four dollars?

I can get R from
Ben Sewell for three.

Oh, I don't think so.

No, indeed.

What do you mean?
Why not?

He's in the jail.

Sheriff put him there
this morning.

0h.

Well, then I‘ll get it
from Rube Sloan.

What’s the matter,
Sheriff catch him, too?

Sheriff Taylor is
right on the job.

Right on the job!

Why don‘t he spend his time
putting down crime

instead of destroying
good liquor?

How come you didn't
get caught, too?

(oaSPS)

Why, Otis Campbell,

you know
we're not like them.

They sell moonshine
for drinking purposes

and that is wrong.

We sell elixir
for celebrations.

And for special occasions.

By the way,
just what occasion

you buying this for?

Uh, uh, well, uh, uh...
l.., my...

No occasion, no nippin'.

Bu—bu—bu... ah, da, um...

Do you, do you know, uh...

Do you know what day

Sir Walter Raleigh
first landed in Virginia?

No.

Todaj/s the day.

We celebrate.

Well, I guess
we could call that

a special occasion,
Clarabelle.

Oh, well, I suppose so.

Oh, all right.

Otis...

mind you just
don't use that

for plain drinking now,

Happy Sir Walter Raleigh
Landing Day!

J' Well, I'm goin' down that road
feelin' bad, Lord I

I Yes, I'm goin’ down that road
feelin' bad I

I Yes, I'm goin’ down that road
feelin' bad, Lord, Lord I

I And I ain't gonna be treated
this a-way J‘

I Well, they feed me
on cornbread and peas, Lord I

I Feed me
on cornbread and peas J‘

I Yes, they feed me on
cornbread and peas, Lord, Lord I

I And I ain't gonna be treated
this a-way I

I Oh, down in the jail
on my knees, Lord I

I Down in the jail on my knees I

I Down in the jail on my knees,
Lord, Lord I

I And I ain't gonna be treated
this a-way. I

How'd you like that, boys?

Andy, when are we
gettin‘ out of here?

Oh,.. you don't like my singin'?

Well, I guess itjust takes some
folks longer to get used to it

than it does others.

You just stay awhile
and it'll grow on you.

We got to stay in here
till we like your singin'?

Well...

We like it, we like it!

Is that from the heart?

-Mm-hmm!
—Mm-hmm!

(laughing)

Well, I reckon 48 hours
is about enough time.

I reckon we can just let 'em out
on probation, all right, Deputy?

Yeah.

Okay.

We'll see you, Rube.

Write ifyou get work.

Don't reckon these fellas
can do any harm

now that their stills
is out of commission.

You mean you smashed 'em?

To smithereens!

Took a great big ex
and pow! Pow! Pow!

What did you do that for?

Why, I made that still
with my own hands,

She was my masterpiece.

Oh, well, now, I'm,
I'm sorry, Ben

but the law says
if we find a still

it's our duty
to bust her up.

And that‘s what we done.

Took a great big ex
and pow! Pow! Pow!

Maybe there's a little piece
of copper tubing left

to sort of remember her by,

Not even that.

You might as well face it~
we've clamped the lid

on moonshinin'
in Mayberry for good,

and it's gonna stay clamped,
right, Sheriff?

Right, Deputy.

Yeah. And don't try
to start it up again

because if you do
we'll just be back with our ax

and pow! Pow! Pow!

Uh... I believe he got
the message, Barney,

Yeah, well, I hope so.

We'll see you, Ben.

(chuckles)

Well, moonshinin‘s
dead in Mayberry.

(drunkenly):
Howdy, Sheriff.

There's my tine.

Don't forget
to wake me up Monday.

That's the beginning
of National Potato Week

and I want to celebrate.

He's been drinking!

Yeah, I'd, I‘d say that.

Well, where'd he get it?

We clamped the lid down.

Well, Deputy Fife,

I guess that lid we clamped
has just sprung a leak.

Bye!

Happy
Mohammed's birthday!

I had no idea there were
so many Moslems in Mayberry.

I could have sworn
Lars Hansen was a Lutheran.

Just shows,
it it wasn't for their holidays

you'd never know.

Well, speaking of holidays,

don‘t you think we'd better
make up another batch?

We won‘t have enough elixir
for National Potato Week.

Now, that‘s real good
thinking, Jennifer.

You know, you have a good head
on your shoulders.

If only you weren't
so boy-crazy.

All right, come on.

We'll make some more mash
right now.

Why, Opie!

Opie Taylor,
you come out of there.

What you doing here?

I wanted to ask a favor,

but Paw says
I shouldn't bother people.

What is it, Opie?

Well, I guess it doesn't happen
when you're nice ladies,

but when you‘re
a bad boy in school

you sure get in trouble.

The teacher gets
real mad at you.

And you know what happens
when the teacher gets real mad?

You don't get to go out

and play ball during recess.

Oh, that's awful.

What can we
do to help?

Well, if I was to bring
the teacher some pretty flowers,

maybe she'd get un—mad.

And you got
the prettiest flowers in town.

Well, you just
help yourself.

Take all you want to.

Only, just don't bother
to go into the hothouse.

Those are special flowers

you wouldn't
want to bother with.

Come on, Jennifer.

The trouble I'm in
with Miss Johnson

I could use special flowers.

All right, Otis,
now, this is your last chance.

You tell me where you
got the stuff or else.

Come on, tell!

Now, Otis, I mean business.

You tell me where you
got that moonshine.

Wherever you got it,

it sure stays with you
a long time, don't it?

You mightjust
as well give up, Barney.

I ain‘t a-gonna tell.

Andy, you talk to him.

Well, now, Barney,

I doubt that Otis
is gonna do any talking.

He seems mighty set
on not helping us.

lwished I could, Andy.

But it's a matter of ethics.

Us town drunks
have a code we live by.

Well, I guess we got
to respect a man's code.

Might as well
lock him up, Barney.

We'll have to find
that still by ourselves.

Come on, Otis.

Say, listen, Otis...

Otis, couldn't you
just give us a little hint?

You wouldn't
have to say anything.

Just point us
in the general direction.

What do you say,
Otis, old buddjfl

Stubborn mule!

Paw, look what I got!

0h, hi, Ope,
they‘re pretty flowers.

I got 'em
from the Morrison sisters.

ANDY: That's nice. Why don't
you just take ’em on home?

But they're for the teacher.

Well, take ‘em
to your teacher, then.

But I want a nicer vase
than this old jar.

It smells funny.

ANDY:
Well, there's a vase

in the back room
that you can have.

You just take that
and don't bother me.

Thanks, Paw.

All right.

Nice flowers.

Yeah.

Barney, look here.

We're just gonna

have to comb
the entire area.

Maybe deputize
a few fellas

if you can find
a few non-drinkers.

Full-scale operation,
I'd say.

Where you reckon
we ought to start?

Well, ain't no use
in goin' over to Council Flat.

We already got
Ben's still over there.

Well, what about, uh...

what about, uh, Fancy Gap?

Yeah...

Yeah, there‘s a...

There's a lot of holes
and hollers around there

a fella can hide...

hide something in.

(clears throat)

Ain't they pretty, Paw?

Yeah, they're nice.

The Morrison sisters
grow nice flowers.

Yeah, and I know why, too.

They got
a flower-making machine.

ANDY: Now, Barney,
I believe we'll deputize

Alderman Roe and
Reverend Akin,

and a few non-drinkers

like that while...

A flower—making machine?

Sure, they got it
in their hothouse.

I seen it.

(laughs)

Opie, I believe
you're mistaken.

Machines don't
raise flowers.

That’s mother nature's job.

Well, they got
a machine to help.

That's cute, huh?

Flower-making machine.

ANDY:
Hey, Opie...

What kind of machine?
What's it look like?

Well, it's a big,
round copper pot

with a fire under it,

and there's a pipe that curls
round and round like this

and runs into a little bucket.

Bye, Paw.

(chuckles) That don‘t sound like
a flower-making machine to me.

Sounds more like a still.

Everybody knows
the big, round copper pot

with a fire under it
and a lot of coil...

You know
what that smells like?

Smells a little bit
like liquor, don't it?

Oh, ladies, you certainly
have been naughty.

Naughty?! Criminals
is what they are, Sheriff!

They're criminals!

Now, easy, Barney.

Why, we aren't
the criminals.

It‘s the moonshiners
are the criminals.

They been
selling it

for drinking
purposes.

What do you think
people do with your stuff?

Soak it in bread and eat it?

Our elixir is sold

only for celebrations
and special occasions.

Uh, what kind of occasions?

Oh, you know, Christmas and
New Year‘s and Fourth of July...

And there are
a lot of other occasions, too.

There‘s National Potato Week,
that's coming up.

And there's Panama Canal Day
and Bastille day.

You see, National Potato Week
and Panama Canal Day

and Bastille Day
and all of those

well, they‘re not,
they‘re not what you'd call

legally recognized holidays.

And this booze you been selling
ain't legally recognized, either

so I got to take this ax
and pow! Pow! Pow!

Sheriff, you mean
those men all lied to us

just to buy our elixir?

That's right.

And they‘ve been buying
not for special occasions

butjust for plain guzzling?

Yes, ma'am.

Lord...

Can you imagine?

Well, Sheriff, I guess
the only thing to do

is go right ahead,
do your duty.

Pow, pow, pow?

Wait just a minute,
Barney.

Ladies, Miss Clarabelle,
Miss Jennifer...

Well, I guess it's all right
to have a l'ntle taste.

After all, it is
National Still-Smashing Day.

Morning, ladies.

You, uh, lookin' for me?

Yes, Sheriff.

We came to tell you
about our new business.

And to give you
a free sample.

New business?

You didn't put that still
together again, did you?

Oh, my, no.

But you see, we had all
the berries and the jars...

and, well, we decided
to put up preserves.

Preserves is good for
celebratin‘ occasions, too.

Yes.

We left a jar inside
with Barney

and I hope you
enjoy this.

Ah, well, thank you kindly,
ladies.

And I'm happy that you saw
the error of your ways

and that you’re in

a respectable,
upstanding business now.

Thank you.

Bye.

-Bye. Bye.
-Bye.

Well, Barney, | see
you're trying

the Morrison
sisters' preserves.

I believe these are just
about the best preserves

I ever ate.

Barney, I got a feeling
their rehabilitation

ain‘t quite complete.

(whistling sprightly tune)