All language subtitles for The.Andy.Griffith.Show.S01E09.iNTERNAL.BDRip.x264-LiBRARiANS-en (1)

(whistling sprightly tune)

Starring Andy Griffith...

with Ronny Howard.

(doorbell buzzing)

(yawning)

Gee, Aunt Bee,
what does

he always have
to wear this for?

Opie, when people come
to the Justice 0f the Peace

in the middle of the night
to get married

they expect him
to look like this.

It makes for good
talking afterwards.

Come along, Andy,

(doorbell buzzing)

Here you are.

Coming! Just a minute,

(clearing throat)

Howdy.

Evening, ma‘am.

I'm sorry
to be so late.

I, uh... I mean, she...

We want to
get married.

Oh, are you sure?

Are you absolutely.
positively sure?

We're dead sure,
ma'am.

Here's the license.

Mm-hmm,

Come along then.

Andy, these young people
want to get married,

Evening, Sheriff.

Evening.

You want to get
married, do you?

Well, this lioense...

Josh...
Josh and Hannah.

Well...

well, just join
hands then.

No, right hands.

Both right hands.

That's right.

Uh, Aunt Bee.
you ready?

All ready.

(playing "Wedding March")

Deany beloved

we are gathered
together here

in the sight
of this company

to join together
this man and woman

in holy matrimony.

-Hannah!
-Pawl

If you've just become
this here fella's wife,

you better
take a look at him,

‘cause in just
a second,

you're goin'
to be his widow.

Paw.. .

Sheriff.

Well, somehow
I get the impression

that you don‘t take
too favorable

to this fine-Iookin' young fella
here for a son-in-law.

Favorable? Do you know
who this fine-lookin', lowdown

sneaking varmint is, Sheriff?

Sheriff!

If you've said the
words that hitched 'em

you'd better
find words

to unhitch ‘em
right now.

I don‘t know
why I just get the feelin‘

this ain‘t
a very popular marriage here.

Now look here, Mr. Wakefield

as Justice of the Peace,
it’s my duty...

Wakefield and Caner!

Greatjumping
gosh almighty!

Now I don’t want
no feuding in here.

I love her
real bad, Paw.

Love her?

I‘m gonna hit you
right in the mouth.

Us Wakefields been feudin‘
them Carters for 87 years.

You want to go
messing it up now?

Hannah, you lorgettin'
you‘re a Garter?

What are you tryin' to do?

I‘m tryin'
to get married

and have
a nice family.

That‘s what I‘m
trying to do.

You hush up, Hannah.

It ain‘t the duty
of the Carters'

to bring anymore
Wakefields into this world.

It‘s our duty to send as many
of them as we can out of it.

Now let's git.

Sheriff, it don't matter
what her name is--

Wakefield or Carter.

We’re both
more than 18.

It‘s your bound
and duty to marry us

it we ask you to.

Well, now the boy‘s got
hisself a point there...

but you all have got
a better point.

Come on.

Come on!

Well, that was
a whole lot of fun.

I declare, I'd better
get out of this outfit.

I'm beginning to feel
like Dopey the dwarf.

Mornin', Opie.
Mornin', Aunt Bee.

I says, uh—

I says, mornin‘, Opie,
and mornin‘, Aunt Bee.

Well, now...
being a sheriff

which is a kind
of a detective

let me see
it I can deduce

why I'm gettin' the cold
shoulder this mornin‘.

Now, you was, you
was friendly enough

'fore we went
to bed last night

but you're mighty unfriendly
this morning.

So it must be somethin‘
that happened

between goin' to bed
and gettin' up, is that right?

You let them scare you, Paw.

Who?

Oh, Wakefield and Caner?

Is that what you think?

Oh, Andy, what
can a body think?

You lettin' those
stubborn old fools

bluff you out
of marrying

those two lovin’
youngsters,

If they wanted hitchin', then it
was up to you to hitch 'em.

Why didn't you hitch 'em, Paw?

Well, Iguess
| coulda hitched 'em

but I just got to studyin'

what might happen
after the hitchin'.

Huh?

Well, you see, this
ain't the first time

that despisin' families
had their young 'uns

to take to one another.

It ain't?

No, Why, I guess
about the worse

that ever happened
was in a tale

that was wrote
a long time ago

by a fella named
William Shakespeare

that lived over
in the old country,

You wouldn‘t want
to hear about that

eai1y this mornin’.
would you?

Yeah!

You would?

Well, now, let‘s see

it I can figure
how it went.

Now, let‘s see.

Well, now, it's about—

it's about this
boy and girl

named Romeo and Juliet

that was in love
of one another

just like Josh and Hannah

only their daddies
didn't get along either

and what Romeo used
to do to see Juliet--

he‘d put on a disguise

and go on over
to her house

and he was over
there this night.

He was over there standin'
round the punch bowl

and havin' a good time

and he seen—

he seen Juliet come
down these high steps

and he was so struck by her

that he give a soliloquy
right there.

What's a soliloquy, Paw?

Well, a soliloquy is
where you kind of look

away off and kind
of talk to yourself.

0h.

They used to do that
a whole lot back then.

You do it today

and somebody/ll
take you away.

But that’s what
he was a-doin'

and this
fellow, Tybalt

a cousin of Juliet's

come upon him
with his sword drawed

ready to pick a fight
with him right there

but Juliet’s daddy,
he didn't want no bloodshed

right there
in his living room

so all he done,
he run Romeo off...

but Romeo didn't go
straight home.

He didn't?

No.

He went out

and hid in the yard

and after while,
he seen this light

come on over yonder.
and he says--

he-he says, "Hark."

They said "hark" a
whole lot back then.

He says, "Hark, what light
by yonder winder shines?"

Well, Juliet,
she stepped out

onto this stoop right then,
and she give a soliloquy

and somewhere in it,
somewhere in it she says...

she says, "Romeo, Romeo.,."

she says, 'Wherefore
art thou, Romeo?"

Well, he popped up and
says, "I'm right chere."

And that's
where they had

that balcony soene.

And she got to
talkin' to him.

She says, uh,
she says, "Hon“, "

she says, "Hon, why—

“why don't you
deny your daddy

and change your name?"

And he answered
her right back,

He says, "You can change
the name of a rose

but you can’t do
nothing about the smell."

Well, they decided
right then

they'd get married

and they went over to
Friar Laurence's house.

He was the Justice
of the Peace

in the town in that day.

Well, he married 'em,
and he told Romeo

that he ought to
go off and lay low

till he could explain
things to their daddies

and Romeo did—
he went off

and before that Friar Laurence
could do that

why, Juliet‘s mama
took a great notion

that Juliet ought
to get married

to this
other fellow

and kind of forget
about Romeo

and then Juliet
was in a bind

and she went over
to Friar Laurence

and he mixed her up
a drink and she drunk it

and it put her to sleep

and everybody
thought she was dead.

Oh, they had

the prettiest
funeral for her~

phew, folks cryin'
and carryin‘ on

and they laid her out
in this family tomb

and before Friar Laurence
could get word to Romeo

that she wasn't really dead,
some of them mean boys

that lived in that

town told him
that she was dead

and Romeo, he figured life

didn't hold
nothin' for him

and he went out
and he got him

this big can
of lye to drink

and he went over there

to where Juliet
was laid out

and he kissed her.

Let me tell you

that boy kissed her
flat on the mouth.

He says,
'With this kiss

I die."

And he dnrnk the lye

and he tell out
across her to die

and, uh, he was—
he was a big boy for his age

and the impact

of him a-fallin' on her
woke Juliet up

and she woke up and seen Romeo
a-layin' dead there

and she took
his pocketknife

and mn it into herself

and she expired.

And, you see,
their daddies

could have saved
theirselves

the expense of
a double funeral

if they would have

just let them had
a cheap wedding.

You see, they
didn't know that

till it was too late

and so before I marry
these two young ‘uns

I wanna be sure that
everything's all right

with everybody
all the way around,

Now, you understand
that, do you?

Boy, that Romeo and Juliet
would sure make a good TV show,

Yeah, I reckon
it would at that.

Well, it breaks
my heart

to see those two
lovin' youngsters kept apart.

Yeah.

| tell you the truth.

If I'd have been Friar Laurence

I believe I‘d have done
things different.

How?

Well, instead of marryin'
them two young ‘uns

hopin’ that that
would end the teud

I believe I would
have tried to end

the feud first and
then a-married 'em.

Of course.

How you goin' to do it, Andy?

Well, now,
it Friar Laurence had knowed

what started the teud
in the first place...

anyhow, l‘s a-thinkin'
that's somethin'

Friar Andy ought to
look into and right now,

Andy! You haven‘t had
your breakfast yet.

Good-bye, good-bye.

Parting is such sweet sorrow

that I would say good-bye
till it be morrow.

What does that mean?

Well, that means
I would love

to sit and jaw with you
a while longer

but I got to be a-moving on.

(gunshots)

Mr. Wakefield!

Howdy, Sheriff.

Are you doin' feudin'—shootin'

or huntin'-shootin'?

Feudin‘-shootin’.

Well, now, you
must have a pair

of mighty sharp
eyes there.

I don't see
no Carters.

You don't?

No, I don‘t.

l was afraid of that.

Pull ya up a chair.

Have ya a drink of water,

All right.

Sony about puttin' the gun
on you last night, Sheriff

but a fella's got
a responsibility

to see that his young ’uns
is brung up right, ain‘t he?

Of course, he does.

Don't worry a
thing about it.

At times a fella gets
mighty discouraged.

You tries and you tries
to teach 'em right from wrong

but this late generation

just plain ain't got no respect
for their elders.

Well, now, I don't know, now.

Maybe your reason
for feudin' with the Carters

just don’t seem strong enough
to young Josh,

No, itain‘t that.

How you know
R ain't?

'Cause he don't know the reason.

He don't? You mean,
you ain't never told him?

Nope.

Well, how come?

'Cause I don't know

the reason.

You mean your pa
never did tell you?

Nope.

Well, why?

Well, it could be because

he didn't know the reason,
either.

Well, who was the last Wakefield

that did know the reason?

Well, must have been
his grandpa,

Well, then,
how come

he didn't pass
along the reason?

Well, it could be

the time his young 'un got
old enough to join the feudin'

that my great-grandpa
just clear-like forgot it,

Well, I‘ll be dogged.

Now, do you mean to tell me

that you’ve been a-carryin‘ on
a feud for four generations

without knowing why?

Why not?

Well, I don't know.

It just seems to me

if I was gonna take
a shot at a fella

it'd pass my mind
to ask what for.

I'll be danged if I know
where you young folks

get all them
new-fangled ideas,

Reason, Sheriff?

'Course I know the reason
I'm shootin' at him.

Well, how come?

'Cause he's a Wakefield.

Well, what does
that mean to you?

Well, it means
I got to shoot at him.

Well, why do you
have to shoot at him?

'Cause he's a Wakefield.

Well, why do you
have to shoot

at the Wakefields?

'Cause we're feudin'.

Well, why are
you feudin'?

'Cause he's a Wakefield.

You know, I don‘t believe
you're understandin‘ me.

Now, let's start all over again.

I want to know why you're
feudin' with the Wakefields.

Ohh. 'Cause we're shootin'
at each other.

Why are you shootin'
at each other?

'Cause he's a Wakefield.

Oh. Oh.

'Course.

I‘m beginnin' to see what you
was up against, Friar Laurence.

Wait a minute!

Josh, you and Hannah
wait a minute.

I want to talk
to you.

It ain't gonna do
you no good, Sheriff.

You can drag
us back

but we just gonna
run off again.

And one of these days we're
gonna find us a marryin' fella

who ain't afraid
of our paws.

But don't you think it
might be a pretty good idea

if you waitjust
a little while

and see if I can do anything
about ending the feud?

No. Waitin’s dangerous.

Well, hoWs it dangerous?

'Cause one of these days

when a Carter hurts a Wakefield
or a Wakefield a Carter

then Josh and me
is maybe gonna feel

less lovin' for one another.

Well, it don't seem
to have stopped you yet.

That‘s ‘cause 'n
ain't happened yet.

You mean...?

Well, yeah.

Come to think of it, in all
the time I've been a-sheriffin‘

I can't remember a single case

where a Wakefield or a Carter
was done in or-- or anything.

Yeah.

Come on.

Where to?

Well, | just
got a hunch

and if Friar Laurence
had a-had that same idea

why, Romeo and Juliet
would have been

a happy married couple
right today.

Huh?

Come on.

You all finding anything?

There’s nothing
here, Sheriff.

Here's something,
Sheriff.

What is it?

Uh, “September 14, 1908.

"Jedadiah Wakefield
admitted to hospital,

wounded."

Wounded how?

Bit in the...

a certain place.

Well, who bit him?

His mule, Emmy.

-Good.
-Huh'.7

Well, just as long
as it wasn‘t a Carter

that shot him or bit him.

Is there
anything else now?

No.

All right, now

you all let Friar Andy
take the next step

and if things work out
the way I think they will

you two young ‘uns
will be married

quicker than you can say
"William Shakespeare.“

Your deputy told me to come up
here and meet you, Sheriff.

What‘s up, and what‘s
he doin‘ here?

Ain't you heard
we was feudin'?

Well, yeah, that's what I
wanted to talk to you about—

your feud.

Nowl looked up
the records--

old sheriff‘s records
and hospital records

and such as that
for the past 87 years

and do you know what?

What?

They/re ain't never been
nary a Wakefield nor a Carter

that was so much
as even hit.

It ain't
because we wasn't trying,

Dang Wakefields
keep movin‘ around.

Well, now I got to studying
about that thing.

Now you know how folks
in these parts feel

about their feudin‘.

Now what if it was to get out
that we had a 87-year-old feud

goin' on here with nary
a killin‘ to show for it?

Why, we'd be the laughingstock
of the state.

Yeah. Now I believe--
I believe that we can get done

in just a few minutes

what you boys ain‘t been able
to get done in 87 years.

All right?

Now just stand
back-to-back here like that.

What are you
trying to do?

What kind of
feudin's that?

Well, now, that's the way

the French folks
used to settle their arguments.

See, the umpire—
now, that's me;

l'll be the umpire—

would count off to ten,
and the contestants—

now that" be you boys—
would start walkin‘.

And when | get to ten,
why, the contestants—

now, that's you—

why, you swing around
and start a-poppin'

at one another, all right?

Ten, huh?

That‘s pretty far away.

Wouldn't surprise me
a fella‘d miss at that distance.

Yeah.

Yeah. That's why I’m changin' it

to a count of three.

-Three7!
-Three?!

Yeah, nowjust let me go
over here and check your arms

to be sure that both of them‘s
all right,

Wouldn't do for one of you
to get a shot

and the other one not get one.

(chuckles)

Yeah, that one‘s in good shape.

Yeah, mm—hmm.

Yeah, you all each, each have
a equal chance at this thing.

Yeah, just nice,

Just nice, all right?

Good luck now, fellas

and, uh, good-bye.

I reckon you all
will see one another

in that great feudin‘
country beyond.

Ready?

One. .

Fellas, you're, uh,
supposed to walk

when | start countin'.

Well, a fella's legs
gets mighty heavy.

Yeah. Everybody knows
a fella gets our age

first thing that goes
is his legs.

Well, it's just a short walk

and it's the last time
you‘ll be a-usin‘ ‘em,

All right.

Now here we go.

One. .

two...

Wait!

Now what is it
this time, Carter?

Well, uh, the rules say
a ten step and a ten count

and I think we ought
to stick to the mles.

Yeah, we don‘t want to go
against the law, Sheriff.

No, we might get in trouble
with the French government,

Yeah, we better
play it safe

and stick
to the ten.

Or to be sure, 20.

To make it real sure, 50.

Well, now, fellas,
I wouldn’t worry about the law

seein‘ as how I'm the law
in these parts.

Well, I wouldn't concern myself
too much

with the French government
either

because I got me a feelin'
that the impact of the blast

will take care of them
extra seven steps.

All right.

Now...

let‘s start
right off in step.

Ready?

One... two...

Hold it!
Hold it, Sheriff!

I'll tell you the truth.

If a body didn‘t know better,
he'd get the feelin'

that you two
feud-happy fellas

wasn‘t so all-fired hot
about feudin‘.

No, it ain‘t
that, Sheriff.

| just had a thought.

This being one
of them Frenchy affairs

it'd be fittin‘
if you counted in French.

Yeah, and if‘n you don't know
how to count in French

we‘d oblige you by waiting
until you learn.

Well, now,
I appreciate that

but it just happens
that I learned some French

when l was over there
during the war.

All right.

Now step right off.

Ready?

Un...

deux. ..

What's the matter?

We don't
understand French.

Now lookie here...

if you two fellas want to call
off the feud, that's fine by me

but if it‘s gonna be a-feudin‘,
there better be some shootin‘.

Now what's it gonna be?

All right,
it'll be a feud.

Now this time, step off

and when you turn around,
go to shootin'.

You ready?

One. .

two...

(gunshot)

What do you reckon your
young 'uns would have thought

if they‘d a-seen you?

They'd a-thought you was nothin'
but a couple of cowards.

Might even change their minds
about wantin‘ to get married

bein' the young 'uns
of such cowards.

Well, now, look—
it the Wakefields

and the Carters
are such cowards

maybe it's good they
don't even get married.

Yeah, if what you say
is true

ifthe Carters‘ and
the Wakefields‘ blood

ever got together,
they‘d turn out a coward

like this world
ain‘t never seen!

A coward's coward.

I got a feelin‘ you may
be wrong about that thing.

How's that?

Let me show
you something,

Josh, you and Hannah
come on out here.

Josh, I been talkin‘ and
talkin‘ to Hannah‘s paw here

He still claims that
if you marry Hannah

why, he‘s gonna fill
you full of lead.

Now, you go ahead

and tell him
what your answer is

and let's get
this thing over with,

one way or the other.

You might as well
shoot now, Mr. Carter.

That‘s the only way
you‘re gonna keep me

from marrying Hannah.

And you better shoot
me, too, Mr. Wakefield,

‘cause that's the onlything

that's gonna keep me from bein‘
your son's wife.

Well, lwish
you‘d lookie yonder.

Josh, he‘s standing
right up

to you there, Mr. Caner

and Hannah, she's standing
up to you, Mr, Wakefield.

Now, if that ain't courage

I don't know
what courage is.

Why, you mix these two
fine bloods together here

and you two old
buzzards are liable

to get you a grandson
that can't be nothing

in this world but
a natural-born hero.

Why, yes, sir.

Why, you let these
two young 'uns...

Now what is it?

You just stop
the blabbering, Sheriff

and get on with
the marryin'.

Fellas, please.

But we want it done right.

But it‘s
broad daylight.

That don‘t matter.

We're gonna see that
that little hero

gets a right stan

right at the
beginning.

But...

(playing "Wedding March")

(whistling sprightly tune)