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1
00:00:02,800 --> 00:00:06,714
Hi. Welcome to the show. My name's
Howard Moon. This is Vince Noir.
2
00:00:06,800 --> 00:00:10,838
- All right?
- This week, the tricky subject of death.
3
00:00:10,919 --> 00:00:13,641
Whoa, there.
l know what you're thinking. Don't think that.
4
00:00:13,722 --> 00:00:18,875
This will give me, as an actor,
a lot of room to stretch myself,
5
00:00:18,962 --> 00:00:22,557
dig deep and bring out
some of those darker truths we all share.
6
00:00:22,642 --> 00:00:27,236
lt's not just gonna be Howard's boring
acting. There'll be music, adventure,
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00:00:27,320 --> 00:00:29,712
and some outlandish special effects.
8
00:00:29,802 --> 00:00:33,636
Not as outlandish as they would be had
you not spent the budget on your hair.
9
00:00:33,722 --> 00:00:36,475
My hair's an intrinsic ingredient
to this show.
10
00:00:36,562 --> 00:00:39,998
- Do you need 15 people working on it?
- At least.
11
00:00:40,081 --> 00:00:43,838
Two for fringe, one for feathering,
one for height, circumference.
12
00:00:43,924 --> 00:00:46,313
- Circumference?
- Hair circumference.
13
00:00:46,404 --> 00:00:50,999
There's a lot to think about. lf my barnet
doesn't look right, people get furious.
14
00:00:51,083 --> 00:00:54,439
- They tune out immediately.
- You underestimate my acting.
15
00:00:54,523 --> 00:00:57,674
- l don't think so.
- l don't need a hairdo. l do my own hair.
16
00:00:57,763 --> 00:01:02,680
- Council does your hair.
- The camera loves me. lt's the way it is.
17
00:01:02,765 --> 00:01:06,121
- The camera loves me, l think you'll find.
- Just get off.
18
00:01:07,484 --> 00:01:12,081
Now l'd like to prepare you with
a small speech from Hamlet. Thanks.
19
00:01:12,165 --> 00:01:15,122
''Death, the undiscover'd country
20
00:01:15,204 --> 00:01:18,596
''from whose bourn no traveller returns,
21
00:01:18,686 --> 00:01:22,964
''puzzles the will, and makes us
rather bear those ills we have...''
22
00:01:23,046 --> 00:01:26,082
Basically, he's gonna be doing this
throughout the show,
23
00:01:26,165 --> 00:01:30,556
so if you get bored, just press the red
button on your remote control, yeah?
24
00:01:30,645 --> 00:01:35,243
You can see me dressed as a hedgehog,
dancing away, grooving around.
25
00:01:35,327 --> 00:01:37,281
- What's going on?
- Nothing.
26
00:01:37,366 --> 00:01:39,358
Enjoy the show.
27
00:01:45,725 --> 00:01:48,957
..to the world of The Mighty Boosh!
28
00:01:49,045 --> 00:01:54,839
♪ Come with us to The Mighty Boosh
♪ The Mighty Boosh
29
00:01:54,928 --> 00:01:59,160
♪ Come with us to The Mighty Boosh ♪
30
00:02:00,689 --> 00:02:03,598
''To die, to sleep;
31
00:02:03,687 --> 00:02:07,079
''To sleep perchance to dream:
Ay, there's the rub;
32
00:02:07,170 --> 00:02:10,524
''For in that sleep of death,
what dreams may come?''
33
00:02:10,608 --> 00:02:12,281
(Vince) Can you pipe down?
34
00:02:12,369 --> 00:02:17,318
Bollo's not well. He don't want to hear
that bleak imagery. He's got a fever.
35
00:02:17,409 --> 00:02:21,640
Let me explain something to you, Vince.
Death's nothing to be afraid of.
36
00:02:22,850 --> 00:02:28,163
lt's natural. The important thing is to be
prepared. Face it with dignity and poise.
37
00:02:28,250 --> 00:02:31,048
Be ready for it like me.
l'm ready for death.
38
00:02:31,130 --> 00:02:34,644
When Death comes knocking for me,
l'll welcome him.
39
00:02:34,729 --> 00:02:38,243
He'll knock thrice.
''Come in,'' l'll say. ''Sit yourself down.
40
00:02:38,328 --> 00:02:40,846
- ''Do you want a cup of tea?''
- Tea?
41
00:02:40,932 --> 00:02:45,686
- l imagine Death as a coffee drinker.
- l'd offer him a range of hot beverages.
44
00:02:52,610 --> 00:02:56,003
All the benefits of a cool drink
but with a caffeine boost.
45
00:02:56,092 --> 00:02:59,767
- Does he get a small ltalian biscuit?
- Don't be foolish.
46
00:02:59,851 --> 00:03:03,082
He's trying to lose weight.
(Chuckles) lt's a joke.
47
00:03:03,172 --> 00:03:04,685
He's a skeleton. Get it?
48
00:03:04,772 --> 00:03:08,889
lf he was a skeleton, he'd munch them
and they'd crumble through his rib cage.
49
00:03:08,971 --> 00:03:11,443
Ooh, crumble through. Crumble through.
50
00:03:11,533 --> 00:03:13,444
(Coughs)
51
00:03:13,533 --> 00:03:18,926
Look. One thing. Don't get too close
to the animals, Vince, cos they die.
52
00:03:19,012 --> 00:03:20,844
lt's the first rule of zookeeping.
53
00:03:20,932 --> 00:03:24,322
- What about you and Jack Cooper?
- What about me and Jack?
54
00:03:24,412 --> 00:03:29,489
Me and Jack are acquaintances. We got
close, too close, some people said.
55
00:03:29,575 --> 00:03:33,011
- l don't know what the rumours were.
- That you were bumming him.
56
00:03:33,094 --> 00:03:35,972
Yeah, whatever.
Stupid rumours. Childish. Not true.
57
00:03:36,054 --> 00:03:38,328
- Whatever they were.
- You were bumming him.
58
00:03:38,415 --> 00:03:41,451
l know what the rumours were.
Not true. OK?
59
00:03:41,533 --> 00:03:45,893
The point is, don't get too close to Bollo
cos he's on his way out.
60
00:03:45,976 --> 00:03:48,887
(Howard) l'm going now.
You're getting on my nerves.
61
00:03:51,295 --> 00:03:55,084
- ls that what they're saying about me?
- No. You're the man round here.
62
00:03:55,175 --> 00:03:57,814
- They're just rumours.
- See ya later.
63
00:03:57,895 --> 00:03:59,612
See ya.
64
00:04:02,937 --> 00:04:05,895
- All right, Jack?
- Get away from me, right?
65
00:04:07,056 --> 00:04:10,366
Ah, Moon. Walk and talk with me.
66
00:04:10,456 --> 00:04:13,846
We see eye to eye, huh? You and me?
l'm your boss man.
67
00:04:13,935 --> 00:04:17,294
But l'm also your friend.
But l'm not your wife.
68
00:04:17,378 --> 00:04:21,290
But we have made massively violent
love. Did l say that out loud?
69
00:04:21,376 --> 00:04:23,971
- What do you want, Mr Fossil?
- l have a problem.
70
00:04:24,058 --> 00:04:27,208
lt's to do with the little man,
the squashed-in French man.
71
00:04:27,297 --> 00:04:30,209
The naked little squashed-up hairy boy.
72
00:04:30,296 --> 00:04:34,611
You know, with the hand feet.
The brown little hand-foot man.
73
00:04:35,619 --> 00:04:39,134
- The gorilla.
- Yeah. Wait. Say that again.
74
00:04:39,218 --> 00:04:40,333
Gorilla.
75
00:04:40,418 --> 00:04:43,137
Anyway, the old lady that sponsors the...
76
00:04:43,218 --> 00:04:45,287
- (Tape) Gorilla.
- ...is coming today,
77
00:04:45,377 --> 00:04:49,211
and if she sees him knocking on
death's door, lying around like a box,
78
00:04:49,297 --> 00:04:51,450
she ain't gonna pay me Bo Diddley.
79
00:04:51,540 --> 00:04:54,689
- What do you want me to do?
- l want you to dress as a...
80
00:04:54,778 --> 00:04:56,850
- Gorilla.
- You know, eat a banana...
81
00:04:56,940 --> 00:04:59,089
dance around, kick some hay.
82
00:04:59,179 --> 00:05:01,898
l'm not doing that. l'm a man.
83
00:05:01,979 --> 00:05:03,776
l knew that. Man.
84
00:05:03,859 --> 00:05:06,853
l've got dignity and poise.
l'm not dressing as a gorilla.
85
00:05:06,941 --> 00:05:09,774
Well, if you don't,
all the animals will go poor,
86
00:05:09,860 --> 00:05:13,376
and they won't be able to afford
toboggans or sausages.
87
00:05:13,460 --> 00:05:15,928
See you later, Mr Fossil.
88
00:05:16,020 --> 00:05:20,377
lt's just as well, Moon.
You can't act anyway.
89
00:05:20,459 --> 00:05:23,694
- What did you say?
- l said you can't act.
90
00:05:23,782 --> 00:05:26,693
Get me an ape suit,
four bananas and a hot towel.
91
00:05:30,981 --> 00:05:34,020
Come on, Bollo. You'll pull through.
92
00:05:34,102 --> 00:05:39,133
Vince, my time is now. Death is near.
93
00:05:39,223 --> 00:05:42,851
- l can sense him.
- Don't speak like that, Bollo.
94
00:05:43,822 --> 00:05:47,337
Do not be afraid, my child.
95
00:05:47,423 --> 00:05:51,051
The important thing
is that we had a good life.
96
00:05:51,142 --> 00:05:53,531
- Yeah.
- Good times.
97
00:05:53,622 --> 00:05:57,060
Yeah. We had great times.
98
00:05:57,144 --> 00:05:59,941
(# Schmaltzy piano)
99
00:06:12,346 --> 00:06:14,620
Great times, Bollo.
100
00:06:14,706 --> 00:06:19,825
Great moments. You know, they can't
take those moments away from you.
101
00:06:19,905 --> 00:06:21,895
Who can't?
102
00:06:23,345 --> 00:06:27,383
The moment stealers?
Something Howard used to say.
103
00:06:27,464 --> 00:06:31,856
Hey, Vince. Will you do me a favour
when l'm dead?
104
00:06:31,945 --> 00:06:33,425
Anything.
105
00:06:33,506 --> 00:06:37,135
Find Howard. Slap him in the face.
106
00:06:37,226 --> 00:06:40,262
- The man's a fool.
- OK.
107
00:06:41,745 --> 00:06:43,064
- Vince?
- Yeah?
108
00:06:43,145 --> 00:06:46,856
- Your hair looks good today.
- Thanks.
109
00:06:47,667 --> 00:06:49,578
(Vince) Yours looks good too.
110
00:06:49,667 --> 00:06:52,659
Not as good as mine, obviously.
You've got a few split ends.
111
00:06:52,747 --> 00:06:54,978
l could sort that out for you, though.
112
00:06:55,068 --> 00:06:58,979
You are my friend, Vince.
113
00:06:59,066 --> 00:07:00,503
(Vince) Yeah.
114
00:07:21,188 --> 00:07:24,101
- (Bollo) What are you doing?
- Oh, sorry.
115
00:07:24,190 --> 00:07:26,703
l thought you'd gone.
116
00:07:26,789 --> 00:07:28,826
Not quite yet.
117
00:07:28,909 --> 00:07:30,864
Sorry.
118
00:07:30,948 --> 00:07:35,627
l'm terribly sorry about that, old lady.
Have a nice day.
119
00:07:35,711 --> 00:07:38,144
Um... l do want that towel back.
120
00:07:38,230 --> 00:07:40,790
What the hell was that all about, Moon?
121
00:07:40,870 --> 00:07:44,546
What? You wanted an ape,
l gave you an ape. A real ape.
122
00:07:44,631 --> 00:07:46,666
You threw your crap at her.
123
00:07:46,749 --> 00:07:50,665
l'm a method actor. When you hire me,
you don't get two-dimensional slices.
124
00:07:50,752 --> 00:07:53,220
You get three-dimensional truth nuggets.
125
00:07:53,311 --> 00:07:57,430
Luckily, she wrote a cheque before
your truth nuggets hit her in the face.
126
00:07:57,511 --> 00:08:02,141
Now watch it, Moon, or l'll be all over you
like a nun sandwich.
127
00:08:03,031 --> 00:08:05,783
Yeah. You'd better believe
l'm a good actor.
128
00:08:05,875 --> 00:08:07,750
l got the moves.
129
00:08:08,593 --> 00:08:09,946
Huh!
130
00:08:16,152 --> 00:08:18,030
Can l help you?
131
00:08:23,314 --> 00:08:25,111
Right...
132
00:08:28,153 --> 00:08:31,065
Vince, l suddenly feel much better.
133
00:08:36,552 --> 00:08:38,627
♪ Sun is shining and you're feeling fine
134
00:08:38,717 --> 00:08:41,354
♪ And the birds are singing in the trees ♪
135
00:08:55,158 --> 00:08:57,795
(Sings in a club style)
136
00:09:01,436 --> 00:09:04,632
♪ You're much too young, girl ♪
137
00:09:07,395 --> 00:09:08,874
Hello?
138
00:09:10,595 --> 00:09:14,146
- What is it, mate?
- Hi. Where are we going?
139
00:09:14,237 --> 00:09:18,752
l'm taking you to Monkey Hell.
So sit back, relax and enjoy the view.
140
00:09:19,997 --> 00:09:22,353
- Monkey Hell?
- Yeah, mate.
141
00:09:22,437 --> 00:09:26,987
- Yeah, there might have been a mistake.
- Ha-ha! That's what they all say.
142
00:09:27,075 --> 00:09:30,673
''There's been a mistake.
lt's not my time. l'm not ready to die.''
143
00:09:30,759 --> 00:09:33,511
Just chill out, squire.
144
00:09:33,598 --> 00:09:37,112
Yeah... The thing is, l'm not a monkey.
145
00:09:37,198 --> 00:09:39,712
l'm a man in a monkey suit.
146
00:09:39,798 --> 00:09:43,948
Dear, oh, dear. l've heard some excuses
in my time. That is priceless.
147
00:09:44,036 --> 00:09:47,429
Oh, l don't believe this.
148
00:09:49,158 --> 00:09:50,558
Sorry.
149
00:09:51,958 --> 00:09:54,313
Reaper to Colin. Reaper to Colin.
150
00:09:54,398 --> 00:09:55,798
Colin here.
151
00:09:55,879 --> 00:09:59,996
l've been a right flapjack. l've gone
and picked up the wrong geezer.
152
00:10:00,078 --> 00:10:03,471
- Oh, not again.
- lt weren't my fault this time.
153
00:10:03,561 --> 00:10:07,473
He's dressed as an ape in the ape
enclosure. What am l supposed to do?
154
00:10:07,560 --> 00:10:10,950
- All right. Better drop him off here.
- Nice one.
155
00:10:11,040 --> 00:10:14,429
- How's your Pauline?
- All right. She's dead. How's yours?
156
00:10:14,519 --> 00:10:18,595
She's dead. She's all right, though.
Talks all day. Blah-blah-blah.
157
00:10:18,681 --> 00:10:20,717
She said...
158
00:10:20,801 --> 00:10:23,759
All right, listen up.
l'm taking you back to head office.
159
00:10:23,841 --> 00:10:26,752
l ain't happy with you.
l live right near Monkey Hell.
160
00:10:26,841 --> 00:10:29,673
lt's put an extra 40 minutes
on my journey, you peanut.
161
00:10:29,761 --> 00:10:31,591
Sorry.
162
00:10:44,562 --> 00:10:48,236
All right, boys? Oi, Bobby.
Where's my tenner?
163
00:10:48,321 --> 00:10:50,600
- Hey, Neville.
- All right?
164
00:10:50,685 --> 00:10:52,720
(Manager) Pick up at Swiss Cottage.
165
00:10:52,804 --> 00:10:56,159
- All right, Colin. How's your Pauline?
- All right. How's yours?
166
00:10:56,243 --> 00:10:58,438
- She's all right.
- ls this the geezer?
167
00:10:58,522 --> 00:11:01,641
- This is him.
- Um... Where are we, exactly?
168
00:11:01,724 --> 00:11:04,999
- You're in limbo, mate.
- And where's that?
169
00:11:05,082 --> 00:11:07,917
lt's neither here nor there, is it?
170
00:11:08,005 --> 00:11:11,076
All right. l'll make a few calls,
see what l can do.
171
00:11:11,163 --> 00:11:14,759
- Thanks, Colin. Much appreciated.
- l'm a Cockney.
172
00:11:14,844 --> 00:11:17,996
- Have a seat, mate.
- What's happening?
173
00:11:18,085 --> 00:11:21,440
- We're waiting for Head Office to decide.
- Whether l can go back?
174
00:11:21,523 --> 00:11:24,359
No, whether you go to Monkey Hell
or Monkey Heaven.
175
00:11:24,446 --> 00:11:27,754
- But l'm not a monkey.
- Look. You're dead, l've told you.
176
00:11:27,846 --> 00:11:32,123
Try and accept it. Come on,
you'll be all right. l'll make a cup of tea.
177
00:11:32,205 --> 00:11:33,160
Cheers.
178
00:11:33,244 --> 00:11:36,554
- Sugar?
- No, thanks. Actually, two. May as well.
179
00:11:36,644 --> 00:11:39,208
Four. Make it eight. Sod it.
180
00:11:39,288 --> 00:11:40,766
All right, mate.
181
00:11:42,207 --> 00:11:46,280
Death, nothingness, oblivion.
182
00:11:47,286 --> 00:11:49,755
No more
will l look upon my sweet friends.
183
00:11:49,847 --> 00:11:52,996
- No more will l...
- Oi, you bony nonce!
184
00:11:54,005 --> 00:11:55,442
Oh, Death.
185
00:11:55,529 --> 00:12:00,317
Oi, mate. l'd pipe down with that sort of
stuff. Bit of a sports crowd in here.
186
00:12:02,967 --> 00:12:05,765
Anyway, it's not strictly true,
what you were saying.
187
00:12:05,847 --> 00:12:07,565
Let me show you something.
188
00:12:07,647 --> 00:12:11,802
This is the mirror of life.
You can see anything in here.
189
00:12:11,890 --> 00:12:14,925
- Have a look at your funeral, if you want.
- Really?
190
00:12:15,009 --> 00:12:16,804
Oh, yeah.
191
00:12:18,129 --> 00:12:21,564
Wow. So many people.
192
00:12:21,648 --> 00:12:25,527
No, that's a Woodstock DVD.
This is your funeral.
193
00:12:27,767 --> 00:12:30,807
Wow. So many people.
194
00:12:31,690 --> 00:12:36,205
Anno dominus,
vomitus erectus etceteras.
195
00:12:36,290 --> 00:12:37,325
(Crows caw)
196
00:12:37,409 --> 00:12:40,845
We are gathered here today
to bury Howard Moon.
197
00:12:40,929 --> 00:12:44,079
(Fossil)
Er... We don't know how it happened.
198
00:12:44,168 --> 00:12:47,800
We do know, however,
that when he died he was dressed as a...
199
00:12:47,891 --> 00:12:52,088
- (Tape) Gorilla.
- Here to say a few words about him,
200
00:12:52,171 --> 00:12:55,846
perhaps the closest person to him
here at the Zooniverse,
201
00:12:55,931 --> 00:12:57,727
Vince Noir.
202
00:12:57,810 --> 00:13:01,170
- Hey, Vince. l'm a priest.
- Couldn't you get a real priest?
203
00:13:01,254 --> 00:13:03,402
l didn't know how to get one.
204
00:13:03,492 --> 00:13:06,245
- Hey, you got one of these?
- What is that?
205
00:13:06,332 --> 00:13:08,367
- Talk box.
- Talk box?
206
00:13:08,451 --> 00:13:09,770
- Yeah.
- No.
207
00:13:09,851 --> 00:13:11,330
Oh...
208
00:13:12,652 --> 00:13:14,323
(Tape) Gorilla.
209
00:13:14,411 --> 00:13:17,248
- Give it to me.
- lt's got all my words on it.
210
00:13:17,334 --> 00:13:19,369
You can have it back at the end.
211
00:13:19,453 --> 00:13:21,363
(Fossil) Talk box.
212
00:13:22,973 --> 00:13:25,441
Howard Moon was a good friend of mine.
213
00:13:25,533 --> 00:13:30,083
He was a passionate man, and he liked
to work closely with the animals,
214
00:13:30,172 --> 00:13:31,571
too closely, some said.
215
00:13:31,652 --> 00:13:34,932
- You hear that, Jack?
- Shut your face.
216
00:13:37,094 --> 00:13:41,485
Howard's other passion in life was jazz.
Howard loved jazz.
217
00:13:41,574 --> 00:13:45,453
He asked me to play Blue Train
by John Coltrane at his funeral.
218
00:13:45,534 --> 00:13:49,894
l couldn't really find that. Sorry, Howard.
But l found another song about a train.
219
00:13:49,977 --> 00:13:53,012
l hope it'll do just as well.
220
00:13:53,095 --> 00:13:56,087
(# Pipe organ plays
Thomas The Tank Engine theme)
221
00:13:56,175 --> 00:13:57,927
(Horn) Peep-peep!
222
00:14:12,976 --> 00:14:14,488
(Laughter)
223
00:14:15,376 --> 00:14:17,332
(All laugh)
224
00:14:17,416 --> 00:14:19,690
All right, lads. Back to work.
225
00:14:20,815 --> 00:14:23,777
- Am l entitled to a phone call?
- You ain't been arrested.
226
00:14:23,858 --> 00:14:27,326
- There must be something you can do.
- l shouldn't do this...
227
00:14:27,416 --> 00:14:30,648
but seeing as there's been a mix-up,
l'll tell you what l'll do.
228
00:14:30,737 --> 00:14:34,775
- l'll throw you in a haunting.
- A haunting? What does that entail?
229
00:14:34,856 --> 00:14:39,774
Anything you want, really. Some people
visit their dear mums to say goodbye.
230
00:14:39,860 --> 00:14:42,532
Other people frighten their enemies.
231
00:14:42,618 --> 00:14:47,134
Some people pick up cups and make
them float around by their own volition.
232
00:14:47,218 --> 00:14:49,095
Woooo!
233
00:14:50,658 --> 00:14:54,047
- Never understood that one.
- l want to see my mate Vince.
234
00:14:54,137 --> 00:14:56,700
- The geezer with the fab hairdo?
- Yeah.
235
00:14:56,781 --> 00:15:00,054
OK. lt's a tricky procedure, this,
transporting you back.
236
00:15:00,138 --> 00:15:04,929
So get your limbs moving. Loosen
yourself up. Lovely. Sort of dance.
237
00:15:05,019 --> 00:15:08,488
That's lovely. Really grind your booty.
Go on. Bit more sexual.
238
00:15:08,578 --> 00:15:12,131
Pout a little bit. Bit more.
Here, boys. Check this out.
239
00:15:12,222 --> 00:15:13,496
(All laugh)
240
00:15:16,459 --> 00:15:18,530
l've had it with you, faceless mother...
241
00:15:22,621 --> 00:15:27,295
Bollo, when Howard was alive,
he was always banging on about jazz.
242
00:15:27,379 --> 00:15:30,613
Now that he's dead,
l feel like l wanna give it a go.
243
00:15:30,702 --> 00:15:33,090
l've got his old records here.
244
00:15:36,942 --> 00:15:39,058
(Aggressive fast jazz)
245
00:15:40,581 --> 00:15:41,616
Rubbish.
246
00:15:46,503 --> 00:15:48,016
(Same music plays)
247
00:15:48,103 --> 00:15:50,138
There's no way.
248
00:15:51,742 --> 00:15:55,052
- (Same music)
- Smash it to bits.
249
00:15:59,941 --> 00:16:03,778
Vince Noir. lt is l, Howard Moon.
250
00:16:03,864 --> 00:16:07,094
Howard. l thought you were dead.
251
00:16:07,184 --> 00:16:09,458
l am dead, you idiot.
252
00:16:09,543 --> 00:16:11,933
What's happened to my records?
253
00:16:12,024 --> 00:16:14,821
- Bollo smashed them up.
- You've got to help me.
254
00:16:14,903 --> 00:16:17,545
Are you really a ghost? That is genius.
255
00:16:17,627 --> 00:16:20,344
- What's that?
- l thought l could put my hand through.
256
00:16:20,425 --> 00:16:23,496
- No. You spent the budget on your hair.
- Sorry about that.
257
00:16:23,585 --> 00:16:25,814
lt is looking good.
258
00:16:25,904 --> 00:16:28,624
We've got three minutes.
Listen up. Pay attention.
259
00:16:28,705 --> 00:16:31,900
- Right. Sorry.
- (Mobile rings)
260
00:16:32,664 --> 00:16:35,738
Hey, Leroy. How's it going?
261
00:16:35,826 --> 00:16:39,374
lt was mental. lt was a free bar.
l stayed all night. Yeah.
262
00:16:39,466 --> 00:16:43,344
You won't believe this, right?
Guess what. Howard's haunting me.
263
00:16:43,426 --> 00:16:47,337
He died last week. No, he did.
Have a word. You've got to have a word.
264
00:16:47,425 --> 00:16:49,335
- lt's Leroy.
- l haven't got time.
265
00:16:49,425 --> 00:16:52,578
- Have a word. He doesn't believe you.
- Hello, Leroy. Yeah.
266
00:16:52,667 --> 00:16:55,579
l'm not... Keep the CDs.
l don't need them back.
267
00:16:55,667 --> 00:16:58,386
Yeah, thanks. Bye.
268
00:16:58,467 --> 00:17:00,457
Speak to you later. Cheers.
269
00:17:00,546 --> 00:17:04,334
You've got to help me, OK? l'm in limbo.
Help me or l go to Monkey Hell.
270
00:17:04,426 --> 00:17:08,264
- l don't need that.
- Are you really dead, Howard?
271
00:17:08,350 --> 00:17:13,058
Yes. l know it's a shock.
Death comes to us all.
272
00:17:13,147 --> 00:17:15,708
But l'm not afraid. lt's the natural cycle.
273
00:17:15,788 --> 00:17:18,178
We got old, we lose our hair, we die.
274
00:17:18,268 --> 00:17:21,179
- But l've been taken before my time.
- What did you say?
275
00:17:21,267 --> 00:17:24,501
- l've been taken before my time.
- No, the stuff about the hair.
276
00:17:24,591 --> 00:17:29,105
- We lose our hair, we die.
- l've got to do something about this.
277
00:17:29,189 --> 00:17:32,498
- l'll see Naboo. He'll know what to do.
- Yeah, please.
278
00:17:32,589 --> 00:17:34,819
l'll be in limbo.
279
00:17:34,908 --> 00:17:36,864
(Sitar plays)
280
00:17:43,031 --> 00:17:44,668
Hey, Naboo.
281
00:17:48,110 --> 00:17:50,624
- Who's this?
- That's Pete.
282
00:17:50,710 --> 00:17:54,304
- ls he a shaman too?
- No, he works in Dixons.
283
00:17:54,389 --> 00:17:58,544
Right. Naboo, you've got to help me.
Something weird happened.
284
00:17:58,631 --> 00:18:02,465
Howard came back from the dead. He
said old people lose their hair. ls it true?
285
00:18:02,551 --> 00:18:05,543
- Yeah, that's true.
- No way. l can't have that.
286
00:18:05,630 --> 00:18:08,828
Have you got any lotions or potions?
Anything?
287
00:18:10,390 --> 00:18:14,544
l've seen this being done. You're
extracting the resin from its belly.
288
00:18:14,632 --> 00:18:18,784
No, it's not that. l just don't like this frog.
l'm giving him a squeeze.
289
00:18:21,272 --> 00:18:23,628
Now, this is Naboo's Miracle Wax.
290
00:18:23,713 --> 00:18:27,670
Put this in your hair and it'll make
each follicle as strong as a horse's leg.
291
00:18:27,751 --> 00:18:31,428
Brilliant. Thanks, Naboo.
You're a Peruvian genius.
292
00:18:32,273 --> 00:18:34,912
Also, l've got to rescue
Howard from limbo.
293
00:18:34,993 --> 00:18:37,791
- There's a mirror just there.
- Thanks, Naboo.
294
00:18:37,873 --> 00:18:42,628
l feel much better. Thing is, though,
what am l gonna do about Howard?
295
00:18:45,676 --> 00:18:48,313
Can you still get a discount
on that digital camera?
296
00:18:48,394 --> 00:18:52,023
No, but if you buy a 64 megabyte card,
you get a second one half-price.
297
00:18:52,114 --> 00:18:55,949
- What about a SCART to Phono lead?
- l'll chuck one of those in.
298
00:18:56,035 --> 00:18:58,308
Want a strap?
299
00:18:58,394 --> 00:19:00,031
Yeah, all right.
300
00:19:00,113 --> 00:19:02,073
(Whistles)
301
00:19:12,276 --> 00:19:15,471
Oh, my God... lt's a floating cup!
302
00:19:15,554 --> 00:19:18,789
For the love of Yahweh, make it stop!
303
00:19:18,878 --> 00:19:20,833
(Fossil whimpers)
304
00:19:20,917 --> 00:19:23,795
Aaahhh! (Sobs)
305
00:19:24,516 --> 00:19:25,995
(Whistles)
306
00:19:45,997 --> 00:19:49,034
Welcome to the Mirror World!
307
00:19:49,117 --> 00:19:50,474
Who are you?
308
00:19:50,561 --> 00:19:55,633
l am Mr Susan, guardian of the mirrors.
What do you seek, stranger?
309
00:19:55,719 --> 00:19:59,428
l'm just looking for my mate Howard.
He's in limbo.
310
00:19:59,519 --> 00:20:03,033
Ah. Limbo, bimbo.
One of these mirrors does lead to limbo.
311
00:20:03,118 --> 00:20:05,756
But only one. You must choose wisely.
312
00:20:05,837 --> 00:20:09,276
For there are over 1 7 mirrors
in the Mirror World.
313
00:20:09,361 --> 00:20:11,475
(Laughs)
314
00:20:11,559 --> 00:20:14,232
Mirror World?
lt's not really a Mirror World, is it?
315
00:20:14,320 --> 00:20:15,547
lt's more of a small room.
316
00:20:15,639 --> 00:20:21,634
What? Well, no. lt isn't large, but a mirror
will make a room appear larger.
317
00:20:23,082 --> 00:20:28,108
And anyway, you fail to take into account
my mirror balls.
318
00:20:29,120 --> 00:20:30,997
Look at them shine.
319
00:20:31,920 --> 00:20:34,037
Look at them shine.
320
00:20:34,841 --> 00:20:36,876
Look at them shine.
321
00:20:36,960 --> 00:20:39,029
Look at them shine. Oh!
322
00:20:39,124 --> 00:20:42,831
Look at them shinin'. Oh, it's cold!
323
00:20:42,922 --> 00:20:47,120
That's enough. Now, it is time to choose,
but choose wisely.
324
00:20:47,202 --> 00:20:49,113
For if you choose wrongly,
325
00:20:49,202 --> 00:20:52,398
you will replace me here in Mirror World
for all eternity
326
00:20:52,481 --> 00:20:55,477
with nothing but your own reflection
for company.
327
00:20:55,565 --> 00:20:58,033
Sounds all right to me.
328
00:20:58,125 --> 00:21:01,001
What? Staring at your own reflection
forever?
329
00:21:01,083 --> 00:21:02,755
Sounds great.
330
00:21:02,842 --> 00:21:06,553
lf you look over there,
you can see your hair from every angle.
331
00:21:06,643 --> 00:21:08,553
How cool is that?
332
00:21:08,642 --> 00:21:12,240
Oh, vanity. l too was vain like you.
333
00:21:12,325 --> 00:21:17,033
Let me tell you the story of how
l came to be in this mirrored prison.
334
00:21:17,123 --> 00:21:22,072
l haven't really got time for this,
Freddy Fabrics. l've got to get to limbo.
335
00:21:22,163 --> 00:21:27,396
My name is Mr Susan. And now
it is time for you to do the choosin'.
336
00:21:27,483 --> 00:21:30,523
♪ Will it be this one here?
Will it be this one here?
337
00:21:30,606 --> 00:21:32,323
♪ Which one will you choose?
338
00:21:32,404 --> 00:21:33,439
♪ Win or lose
339
00:21:33,524 --> 00:21:36,039
♪ Choose it now
Which one will it be?
340
00:21:36,124 --> 00:21:38,479
♪ Which one will you choose? ♪
341
00:21:43,524 --> 00:21:45,518
Oh, shit.
342
00:21:49,606 --> 00:21:51,801
- ls this limbo?
- Who are you?
343
00:21:51,886 --> 00:21:54,445
l've got to find my mate Howard.
Tall, moustache.
344
00:21:54,526 --> 00:21:57,323
You just missed him.
l took him to Monkey Hell.
345
00:21:57,405 --> 00:22:01,482
- l have to get there. Can you take me?
- l've just come back from there.
346
00:22:01,569 --> 00:22:07,119
- Ain't there no one else to take him?
- Sorry, mate. l'm understaffed as it is.
347
00:22:07,207 --> 00:22:11,166
- l'm running a skeleton crew.
- (Both laugh)
348
00:22:14,927 --> 00:22:18,319
- This is you, here, mate.
- Oh, great. Can you wait for us?
349
00:22:18,410 --> 00:22:20,923
- l'll keep the meter running.
- l won't be long.
350
00:22:21,009 --> 00:22:24,921
You say that, but it ain't up to you.
lt's up to the head honcho.
351
00:22:25,008 --> 00:22:27,363
- Who?
- The Ape of Death.
352
00:22:28,409 --> 00:22:33,117
Howard Moon. You are to be thrown
into the pit of eternal fire.
353
00:22:34,491 --> 00:22:38,323
- (Ape) For heinous crimes.
- But Bollo led a clean life.
354
00:22:38,409 --> 00:22:40,799
Yeah, but you bummed that fox.
355
00:22:40,889 --> 00:22:43,164
That's just a rumour.
356
00:22:43,249 --> 00:22:49,323
No smoke without fire, which you'll be
seeing quite a bit of from here on in.
357
00:22:49,408 --> 00:22:50,891
(All laugh)
358
00:22:52,452 --> 00:22:54,519
Everyone's a comedian here, aren't they?
359
00:22:54,610 --> 00:22:58,047
Shut your pie hole. Now prepare to die.
360
00:22:58,131 --> 00:23:01,918
- Aren't l already dead?
- Well, it hurts more the second time.
361
00:23:02,011 --> 00:23:04,570
Prepare to be cast
into the eternal flames.
362
00:23:04,650 --> 00:23:06,609
Wait!
363
00:23:06,693 --> 00:23:09,002
- Who are you?
- l'm Vince Noir.
364
00:23:09,093 --> 00:23:11,730
There's been a mix-up.
You can't burn him.
365
00:23:11,810 --> 00:23:15,087
- Who's going to stop me?
- l am.
366
00:23:18,532 --> 00:23:23,733
Well, l appreciate the gesture, but
a bit of a wasted journey that, wasn't it?
367
00:23:23,814 --> 00:23:28,364
Did you bring anything,
like a gun or...a fork?
368
00:23:28,453 --> 00:23:33,401
Enough. Now you shall burn. You
and your wife with the ridiculous hair.
369
00:23:33,492 --> 00:23:37,530
Ridiculous hair? Have you seen yours?
lt's like split ends central.
370
00:23:37,611 --> 00:23:40,493
- Shut up.
- Look at it. lt's an auburn fuzz.
371
00:23:40,575 --> 00:23:44,452
- Shut your gob!
- lt's ridiculous, like a ginger ballbag.
372
00:23:44,533 --> 00:23:46,569
Shut up, l said!
373
00:23:46,654 --> 00:23:50,772
l've always had problems with my hair,
even as a child.
374
00:23:50,854 --> 00:23:56,170
lt's not curly, it's not straight,
it's somewhere in-between.
375
00:23:56,257 --> 00:23:59,089
lf l wash it, it becomes too dry.
376
00:23:59,175 --> 00:24:02,565
lf l leave it, it becomes too greasy.
377
00:24:02,655 --> 00:24:04,770
l can't do a thing with it.
378
00:24:05,615 --> 00:24:09,653
Listen, have you heard of product,
straighteners, finishing gel?
379
00:24:09,734 --> 00:24:12,047
Finishing gel?
380
00:24:12,138 --> 00:24:14,253
What is finishing gel?
381
00:24:14,337 --> 00:24:19,171
Where have you been? l could
sort your hair out in six minutes.
382
00:24:19,256 --> 00:24:24,091
Why didn't you tell me about this?
Davy, Nemo?
383
00:24:25,615 --> 00:24:27,685
You can do this for me?
384
00:24:32,017 --> 00:24:35,407
This is sheer liquid wonderment.
385
00:24:35,497 --> 00:24:39,171
For this smashing gift,
l shall set you both free.
386
00:24:39,258 --> 00:24:40,815
Thank you.
387
00:24:40,896 --> 00:24:44,445
Don't thank me.
Thank Naboo's Miracle Wax.
388
00:24:45,579 --> 00:24:51,733
Look at me. l'm so confident
and feel strong and super sexy.
389
00:24:51,818 --> 00:24:53,569
Hit it!
390
00:24:53,658 --> 00:24:55,933
(# Glam rock riff)
391
00:24:58,138 --> 00:25:01,048
♪ l'm the Ape of Death and l don't care
392
00:25:01,141 --> 00:25:03,495
♪ Cos l'm the monkey with the lovely hair
393
00:25:03,581 --> 00:25:05,808
♪ lt's all fluffy, shiny too
394
00:25:05,898 --> 00:25:08,413
♪ Cos l got that Miracle Wax from Naboo
395
00:25:08,498 --> 00:25:10,489
♪ Don't be cynical
396
00:25:10,579 --> 00:25:13,140
♪ lt's a follicle miracle
397
00:25:13,219 --> 00:25:15,573
♪ l said, don't be cynical
398
00:25:15,658 --> 00:25:18,017
♪ l keep waxing lyrical
399
00:25:18,102 --> 00:25:20,934
♪ He's the Ape of Death and he don't care
400
00:25:21,021 --> 00:25:23,693
♪ Cos he's the monkey
with the lovely hair
401
00:25:23,780 --> 00:25:25,849
♪ lt's all fluffy and shiny too
402
00:25:25,940 --> 00:25:28,818
♪ Cos he got that Miracle Wax
from Naboo
403
00:25:28,901 --> 00:25:31,174
♪ Naboo
♪ Come on, now ♪
404
00:25:31,259 --> 00:25:33,170
(Chatters)
405
00:25:33,259 --> 00:25:36,858
♪ Ah-ah, yeah
♪ One, two, three, four
406
00:25:37,141 --> 00:25:38,938
♪ Dig that monkey song
407
00:25:59,342 --> 00:26:01,537
♪ Look around at my monkey hair
408
00:26:01,623 --> 00:26:04,182
♪ You can touch it, l don't care
409
00:26:04,262 --> 00:26:06,654
♪ Used to be that l was ashamed
410
00:26:06,745 --> 00:26:09,179
♪ But now the monkey fluff is tamed
411
00:26:09,265 --> 00:26:11,618
♪ Come on everybody
and walk around my hair
412
00:26:11,703 --> 00:26:13,615
♪ Don't be cynical
413
00:26:13,703 --> 00:26:15,933
♪ lt's a follicle miracle
414
00:26:16,023 --> 00:26:18,618
♪ l said, don't be cynical
415
00:26:18,704 --> 00:26:21,581
♪ l keep waxing lyrical
416
00:26:21,662 --> 00:26:23,065
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
417
00:26:23,146 --> 00:26:26,581
- l thought you were dead.
- l rescued him from the edge of death.
418
00:26:26,665 --> 00:26:29,975
You want a chocolate fruitcake
with beans on it? Get to work.
419
00:26:30,065 --> 00:26:32,180
God, l've missed him.
420
00:26:32,264 --> 00:26:35,461
l never thought l'd miss the old place,
but it's good to be back.
421
00:26:35,544 --> 00:26:38,137
- lt worked out in the end.
- lt's back to normal.
422
00:26:38,223 --> 00:26:43,538
The balance has been restored.
l'll get you back for that cab, as well.
423
00:26:43,625 --> 00:26:46,185
- lt was 1 10 Euros.
- How much?
424
00:26:46,265 --> 00:26:48,938
- We went to hell and back.
- Did you get a receipt?
425
00:26:49,025 --> 00:26:51,586
- l forgot.
- l could have claimed that back.
426
00:27:00,066 --> 00:27:02,899
There you have it.
l hope you enjoyed the show.
427
00:27:02,986 --> 00:27:07,503
We have just enough time for me
to squeeze in a small, powerful speech.
428
00:27:07,586 --> 00:27:09,144
Thanks.
429
00:27:10,706 --> 00:27:13,746
Thus conscience
does make cowards of us all,
430
00:27:13,829 --> 00:27:16,660
and thus the native hue of resolution
431
00:27:16,747 --> 00:27:20,184
is sicklied o'er
with the pale cast of thought.
432
00:27:20,267 --> 00:27:23,658
And enterprises of great pith
and moment...
35584
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