Original subtitles

You are changing my simple little mystery into something unforgivably crass.

No, I'm turning your dull little book into an all-time hit picture.

What do I know about the picture? It's a high school horror film with sexy dances.

You cut out every line with the required acting skills

so you could get your little playmate on the screen.

I know, wanna go skinny-dipping in the ocean?

I used to live at the beach house.

Do you have any questions about the scene?

You make love.

This is a murder investigation.

Grab that man! Stop him!

[lively instrumental music]

I've decided to go back to the bayonet. It's a lot cleaner.

[Ethan] How's that?

Oh, I was just talking to myself. Nothing.

[clattering]

Ethan. Ethan!

I'm sorry. I'm trying to write.

That's all right. You're not disturbing me.

Well, I'm glad to hear it. [chuckles]

I don't suppose there's a quieter way of doing it?

No way that I know of.

[clattering]

[phone ringing]

Hello. Hello, Agnes.

How nice to hear from you. [clattering continues]

Agnes, I'm sorry. I can't talk right now.

I am in the middle of a crucial chapter.

[clattering]

Agnes, you're gonna have to speak up.

Well, Ethan is fixing the drain.

He's under the sink. What?

Really? They're talking about one of my books?

Well, maybe I could watch for a couple of seconds.

Thanks so much for calling me, Agnes.

I'll call you right back.

[TV Host] Jerry Lydecker.

[TV Host] Jerry, why do we call you Hollywood's most controversial producer?

[Jerry] Well because you hate my pictures.

[Jerry] The critics hate my pictures.

[Jerry] Everybody hates my pictures, except the public.

[TV Host] And today you started shooting a new motion picture.

[Jerry] Yes. J.B. Fletcher's "The Corpse Danced At Midnight".

[TV Host] Now the Fletcher book was a big success.

Do you anticipate another box-office hit?

It's got everything today's young moviegoers want.

Music, sex and violence.

-Too much violence perhaps? -What's too much?

[TV Host] I'm referring to the scene where the psychotic killer

uses a flamethrower on a group of break-dancers.

That's not my book. I didn't write that.

[Scoffs]

Looks like that Mr. Lydecker

is putting some of his own ideas into the movie.

Well, it's high time they heard some of my ideas.

-Calling the TV station? -My publisher.

I'm gonna put a stop to this nonsense even if I have to fly out to Hollywood.

[Strindberg] What do I know about the picture?

Well...

It's guaranteed box-office magic, that's all. [chuckles]

The combination of Halloween, Porkies and Flashdance.

You can't be serious.

Oh, you've got yourself a hot property here, Mrs. Fletcher.

You ought to follow it up real quick.

Have you written any other books like this?

I've never written one book like that.

Look, I don't know what my publisher told you, Mr. Strindberg

but I didn't come out here to take advantage

of an intolerable situation.

Are you saying... you don't want a piece of the action?

I only want to determine my legal rights

to prevent that movie producer from debasing my novel.

I was told that you could help me.

Mrs. Fletcher, I make deals.

And apparently, you don't want a deal.

So, what can I do? Look, I'll tell you...

I'll assign someone from my staff to dig out your contract and...

-we'll be in touch! -When?

Don't worry about it. Relax, enjoy yourself

Is this your first trip to L.A.?

Oh yes, but I want to get this thing settled.

Well, you're gonna love it. You should go to Disneyland, Farmers market,

take a Hollywood tour, La Brea Tar Pit...

-Have a ball! -But I don't have time to--

Mrs. Fletcher, it has been great meeting you.

Let's have lunch sometime before you fly back East, okay?

Thank you for your trouble, Mr. Strindberg.

[Jessica] I'm sorry to be a pest about this,

but I am the author of the book

that is supposedly the basis of Mr. Lydecker's movie.

Look, I don't care if you're Jackie Collins.

You can't get in without a pass.

Hold it. Hold it, paddy.

I'll vouch for Mrs. Fletcher.

Put her down as my guest. Sure thing, Miss Quintessa.

Hop in.

That is so nice of you. Thank you.

[Jessica] Oh, my goodness.

I was beginning to give up hope of ever getting inside.

I'm Marta Quintessa.

I'm the costume designer for "The Corpse Danced at Midnight."

Okay. Great. Great. Get lost.

You lied to me, baby.

Jerry...

I checked with your drama coach.

You canceled those extra sessions.

-I meant to tell you. -Yeah, sure you did.

I just didn't want you to be mad at me.

[exhales]

You're still lying.

Eve, I know you're seeing some guy.

No.

I don't wanna know who he is.

Just stop.

Oh, Jerry...

Stop. Do you hear me?

You're doing okay, Eve. A couple of nice pictures.

But you're not there yet.

When this picture's released, you're gonna be a big star.

There won't be any room in your life for anybody else.

-[assistant] Miss Crystal. -I'm your future, Eve.

-Miss Crystal? -Remember that.

We're ready for rehearsal, Miss Crystal.

She'll be right out.

Okay, sure.

Whenever she's ready, Mr. Lydecker.

I loved your book, Mrs. Fletcher,

which is more than I can say for the screenplay.

Jerry and the writer did a wonderful job

of trashing your story.

Well, I must confess, I haven't read it.

No one sent me a copy.

Oh, well, I've got an extra one here.

Why don't you take this?

How nice of you.

I hope you have a strong heart, darling,

and an even stronger stomach. [both laugh]

Jerry, Jerry.

How come you never return my telephone calls?

Nothing personal.

I don't, uh, return anybody's calls.

That's a good line. I'll use it.

Listen, my contracts finally came through.

The points you promised me

for writing the screenplay under price...

Well, they're not there. What happened?

-Business affairs. -Oh, just a mistake, huh?

They said it was more than you were worth.

Listen, that's my screenplay you're shooting in there,

and, uh, what would you do without it?

[Lydecker] Tell me about your Oscar nomination when you were 25.

You know my credits.

Yeah, I know your credits.

Ageing wunderkind.

Burned out by pills and booze before you were 30.

Look, I'm a recovering alcoholic.

I'm also a damn good writer, and you know that too.

Yeah? That's why I had to do a page one rewrite on your script.

You cut out every line that required acting skills,

so you could get your little playmate on the screen.

Buddy boy, you just wrote your ticket off this lot.

I don't want you around. You're bad news.

Yeah? Well, just remember.

The picture's not over till the credits roll.

[Marta] Well, darling, it's good to see you

looking so cheerful in the morning.

Did you sleep well, darling? I was looking for you.

I have a wonderful surprise for you.

I would like you to meet Jessica Fletcher,

who is the original author.

[Lydecker] Pleased to meet you. Uh, Marta, we got a problem.

Uh, excuse me, Mr. Lydecker, but at your convenience,

I'd like a few minutes of your time

-to talk about our picture. -Sure. Maybe later, okay?

Well, could you be more specific?

I mean, after all, this is something

of great importance to me.

My office, first thing after lunch, all right?

Thank you.

[Lydecker] Eve's costumes...

The marching band sequence, the glitzy number?

She hates it.

She says it makes her look like a kid.

Does she know she's playing a teenager?

[Lydecker] Sex it up.

Cut it lower in front, higher on the sides.

[Marta] Darling, if I cut it higher,

there'll be nothing left but a belt.

Jerry, I refuse to be treated this way.

That girl knows nothing about costumes.

All right. Quiet people, please.

For rehearsal.

[director] Jenny is earthy, sexy, sensual.

She's a wild female animal...

Who will do anything for the boy that she loves.

But-but, why does he want to do it in a cemetery?

It's sick.

Yes, but remember, his friends have been horribly murdered.

He's defying death with an act of joy.

[Eve] Then he knows the killer's watching?

[director] No, no, sweetheart. It's symbolic.

He's in this cold, grim, dead place

with this wild, warm, compliant woman.

Sounds kinky.

No, no, no. It's rich.

-Hi. -How are you?

-Good. -Good.

[Scott] Hey, Ross, Ross. Listen, I'm sorry I'm late.

Those stupid makeup people

wanted to put body makeup all over me.

Can you believe it? With my tan?

You look great, Scott.

Do you have any questions about the scene?

We make love.

All right. Let's do it!

Go to number one positions.

This is a complete dress rehearsal now. I want everyone out of here.

[assistant] Okay. Let's clear the set please!

Let's clear everybody. That means everybody.

[Ross] Everything works on this one!

Everyone in position.

Yeah, we're going to shoot. Shoot the rehearsal!

All right!

Nobody stop in this.

We're going to go all the way in this one.

[crew member] Okay, over here.

[Ross] Everyone outta here, please.

Thank you. Thank you very much.

Sorry, you're gonna have to leave, ma'am.

Why?

Well, we're clearing the set for the nude scene.

Come on. Please.

Oh.

Come on.

Nudity is necessary for the story.

It reveals Jenny's true character.

In my story, "Jenny" was "Johnny,"

the ten-year-old son of a Presbyterian minister,

and he didn't take off his shirt in 200 pages.

So I made a few changes.

[Jessica] Mr. Lydecker, I don't want to carp,

but, quite honestly, you are changing

my simple little mystery into something unforgivably crass.

No.

I'm turning your dull, little book

into an all-time hit picture.

But, surely, that's why you bought it

was because it was a best seller.

Wrong. [Chuckles]

I bought it for the title.

I see.

[Jessica] Well, it so happens that my name and my reputation

are attached to that title.

Now, I don't want to seem disagreeable,

but I do believe that I have a right

to protect my interests.

Wrong again. I bought your rights.

You can't stop me from doing whatever I want to your story.

Just because the Almighty gave people a taste for lobsters...

Doesn't mean that he gave lobsters

a taste for being boiled alive.

I'm sorry, Mr. Lydecker,

but I'm going to do whatever I have to do...

To stop this picture being made.

[knocking] Yes?

-[person knocking] Mrs. Fletcher? -Yes.

I'm from Carr, Strindberg and Roth.

Which one are you?

Actually, none of the above.

I'm Norman Lester, a junior member with the firm.

Marty Strindberg sent me.

Oh. Come inside, please.

Thank you.

Sorry if I look disappointed,

but I was expecting a pot of tea

and room service with some aspirin.

I saw Mr. Lydecker today, and I...

I'm afraid that I completely lost my temper with him.

[Lester] Yes, well... [chuckling]

He-he has that effect on people.

Well, uh, Mrs. Fletcher, I searched our file,

and I finally found a copy of the contract

with your original publisher.

Oh, good. Suddenly, I feel so much better.

Uh...[clears throat]

"Whereas the party of the first par"...

Uh, that's the publisher... And uh, "does hereby"...

-Excuse me, Norman. -Hmm?

May I read this, please?

Well, you may not be able to read it.

It's in legalese.

[sighs]

[tuts] Oh, my.

Are you all right?

I can't believe that I signed this.

Mr. Lydecker was correct.

I signed away my right to interfere with the film.

[paper crumples] Oh, I feel so foolish.

Well, I guess there's nothing else to do but to make amends.

Make what?

As painful as it sounds, I owe Mr. Lydecker an apology.

Mr. Lydecker is not in.

He went to the screening room

and from there he was going directly to the set.

I assume you mean stage three?

No, they wrapped early for the day.

I suggest you call Mr. Lydecker tomorrow.

What I must do cannot be done on the telephone.

Excuse me.

Mr. Lydecker?

Mr. Lydecker?

Excuse me, lady.

How come you're sneaking around a deserted soundstage?

Oh, I was gonna get-get the police.

There's been a dreadful accident here on the set.

Yeah, well,

why don't we just go have a look, huh?

Uh.

It's right over there. You see?

Right there behind the stone.

-Mr. Lydecker. -[Jessica] I'm afraid he's dead.

I believe he was hit over the head

with that heavy metal urn.

Security, we have a murder on stage three.

Say what?

Murder, Charlie,

and I think I got a hold of the killer.

[Jessica scoffs]

Cover him. [clears throat]

Excuse me. Uh, did you lose something?

A gold button with a very interesting design.

Only I didn't lose it. I found it.

Right there. Next to the body.

Okay, okay. Come on.

Let me see it.

Well, I certainly didn't pick it up.

I left it right there, untouched.

It could be a very valuable clue.

[officer exhales loudly]

I... I don't see any gold button.

Well, neither do I, but it was right there.

When I went to call for help,

I was only gone about 30 seconds.

So the button disappeared in 30 seconds?

Maybe the killer was hiding behind the set.

Now he saw me find it,

and he realized that it could be incriminating,

so he grabbed it while I was talking to the...

To the guard,

and then he slipped out of the building.

That's a very interesting theory.

You have any thoughts about the Jimmy Hoffa disappearance?

There's no need to be sarcastic, lieutenant.

I'm sorry. I didn't catch your name.

Hernandez. Mike Hernandez.

-And you are? -Oh, Jessica Fletcher.

Fletcher?

Isn't that the guy who wrote the book that Lydecker was filming?

Got a couple of initials up front.

What...

J. B. "B" for Beatrice.

That's you, isn't it? Hey, this is terrific.

It's a pleasure to meet you. I do a little writing myself.

Oh.

Well, I've never sold anything.

But I've got a screenplay with an agent.

There's some interest in it for a TV movie.

How nice.

Yeah. Listen, J.B..

Careful, watch your step.

Do you have any theories about the murder?

Oh, I leave theories to the experts, lieutenant.

I'm only a mystery writer. I'm not a detective.

[Ross] Excuse me. Excuse me.

What the hell is going on in here?

Wait a minute. Hold it. Hold it.

Lieutenant Hernandez. Who are you?

Ross Haley. I'm directing this picture.

This is Marta Quintessa. She's doing the costumes.

-[Marta] Why are all you police here? -Hasn't anybody told you yet?

No, lieutenant.

We were in the ladies' wardrobe going over the costume changes.

Heard the sirens, went outside,

saw the police car in front of the soundstage.

Ross, I think there's been an accident.

No. No accident.

Who is it?

-[Marta gasps] Whoa. -[Ross]Take it easy.

Get her over here. Come right over here.

[Jessica] Help her...

Let her sit down right there.

That's good. That's right.

Take deep breaths, sweetheart. Fill your lungs with air.

That's better. That's...

-[Marta gasps again] -[Jessica] That's better.

It must have been a terrible shock to you.

I'm gonna get you some cold water.

Oh, thank you.

Do either of you know anybody

who might have had a reason to kill Lydecker?

Anybody? What about everybody?

Would the suspects please form a double line?

Lieutenant, Jerry was not exactly America's sweetheart.

Particularly after he started this movie.

I mean, even his best friends were beginning to hate him.

By the way, lieutenant. Sorry to bring this up,

but, uh, shouldn't someone tell our star

that her-her star maker has gone to his maker?

-Oh, yes, Eve. -Eve? Eve who?

Eve Crystal.

She and Jerry were, uh, quite close.

She left right after the shooting today.

I'd tell her myself,

but I have an appointment with the studio brass.

Well, there's no love lost between us.

I think it would only make it worse if I told her.

Oh, dear.

Well, I wouldn't want to hear it on the eleven o'clock news.

I agree. You tell her.

Well, I-I thought the police were supposed to do that.

Not if we can get somebody.

Look J.B.,

I'd appreciate it.

I'm going to be tied up here for quite a while.

If you don't mind, I'll get somebody to drive you, okay?

Very well, I-I'll do it. I'll take care of it.

Marta, can you tell me where I can find her?

Yes. Yes, she lives at Jerry's beach house.

-Oh, Miss Crystal? -Yes?

I was afraid I had the wrong house.

Do I know you?

Well, actually, we've never met.

But I was on the set today.

You work at the studio?

No. The movie that you're starring in though

is based on a title that I wrote.

I'm Jessica Fletcher.

Charmed.

-What a lovely place. -[Eve] Some scotch?

Oh, no. No, thank you.

Or a pill? Any color you like.

-Jerry has it all. -Nothing for me, thank you.

I'm having enough trouble coping with jet lag.

[Giggles] I'll drink to that.

[Giggles] Can't seem to hold my liquor today.

That's a joke.

Did Jerry send you here?

Where is Jerry?

Eve, I have something very important to tell you.

Go on.

But I want to be sure you're capable

of understanding what I have to say.

It's okay. I can hear every single word.

This won't do.

[Laughs] You take everything so serious.

You gotta relax a little. Have some fun.

I know.

Wanna go skinny-dipping in the ocean?

Uh, Eve...

Well, maybe a dash of cold water is just what you need.

Come with me.

[shrieking]

Lady, cut it out!

It's freezing!

All right. Wrap up warm in this.

I'll go put the kettle on. You get into something dry.

[Jessica] How do you feel?

Okay.

Should've known better.

I was so tense when I got home from the studio.

I thought a couple of drinks would make me feel better.

I couldn't stop.

Guess I shouldn't drink alone.

What time is it? Why isn't Jerry here?

Eve, listen to me.

Something tragic happened at the studio after you left.

I'm so sorry to have to tell you this,

but, Mr. Lydecker is dead.

Dead?

[voice breaks] I don't believe it.

-He...he can't be dead. -Eve...

Well, what happened? An accident? What?

I'm sorry, Eve, that there's no easy way to tell you.

Somebody killed him.

God.

[press] Mrs. Fletcher!

[journalist] Mrs.... Over here, c'mon.

[journalist] Mrs. Fletcher, is it true that you found the body?

Mrs. Fletcher, as a prize-winning mystery writer,

what can you tell us about the murder of Jerry Lydecker?

I have no idea. Now, please, excuse me.

How are you involved in this real-life crime?

Give us a break, will ya?

Hey, this is okay.

It is quite charming, isn't it?

You mentioned some questions, lieutenant?

Oh.

Yeah. Listen, J.B.,

when you discovered the body, did you touch the murder weapon?

The metal urn?

Certainly not. I never touched anything.

Well, that's funny.

Someone took the trouble to wipe off all the fingerprints,

and it's something an ordinary killer

in a big hurry to get away probably wouldn't think about.

But somebody might...

But it's the sort of detail that...

An experienced mystery writer wouldn't overlook, right?

You said it, J.B., not me.

Lieutenant Hernandez,

are you seriously suggesting that I murdered Jerry Lydecker?

Hey. Now, look.

I don't think you murdered anybody.

Thank you.

But the Captain is not a writer,

and he doesn't have my keen insight.

And the way he sees it,

you didn't like what Lydecker was doing to your book.

You had the opportunity,

and you were caught leaving the scene of the crime.

So, what do you think?

[Jessica sighs]

Put that way, I do sound like a good suspect.

Look, J.B., if you've got any ideas on this case,

this is the time to share them with me.

Lieutenant Hernandez,

I have absolutely no intention

of trying to help you solve this murder.

I'm going back home to Maine tomorrow on the noon plane.

Unless of course, that is now out of the question.

I thought you might wanna stick around.

Anyway, to see what Ross Haley does with your picture?

Ross Haley, the director?

Also the producer.

As of two hours ago, the studio decided to go ahead

with "The Corpse Danced at Midnight."

-Hello. -I know you.

Well, we haven't actually met, but I'm Jessica Fletcher.

Oh, sure. I loved your book.

I'm just sorry I couldn't put more of it in my screenplay.

So am I.

But, I understand your difficulties, Mr. Gebhart.

Call me Allan.

I'm only Mr. Gebhart to my mother.

You were there the day Jerry gave me the boot.

But guess what? Ross invited me back.

Oh.

I must say, I find the motion picture business so confusing.

I mean, how can a director also be a producer?

Well, these days, anybody can be a producer.

Even a writer.

Then I suppose it was an opportunity for him?

In this town, Mrs. Fletcher, we have two kinds of people.

Those working and those in development.

The ones in development spend a lot of time

at the unemployment office.

Ross Haley was practically a regular.

Until this film came along.

Mr. Haley must be very grateful.

To Jerry? No way.

It was Ross's project from day one

until Jerry horned his way in, dragging little Eve behind him.

It was a payoff, pure and simple.

Ross had to give up his producer's credit

or no Eve Crystal.

Now things are back to the way they should've been.

Mmm. I see.

You know, it seems to me as if Mr. Lydecker's death

may have been a stroke of good luck for Mr. Haley.

For all of us, Mrs. Fletcher.

With this picture, we could all make it big...

...Now. Come on, I'll show you.

[dance music]

[Ross] Cut! Okay. Kill the music.

Let's start clearing the smoke. Get those doors open.

[Marta] Jessica, you look so bewildered.

Oh. I must have misread the shooting schedule.

I could've sworn this called

for a high school marching band parade.

No. That was changed because Eve's new costume isn't ready.

Not that there was anything wrong with the old one,

but, uh, she likes to make my life difficult.

[Chuckles] That sounds catty. I'm sorry.

Well, you did mention there was no love lost between you.

That's putting it mildly.

I want some of this neon to pulsate.

Get rid of the car,

and you have too much smoke over there and not enough here.

On the first day of shooting, a party scene,

someone put real vodka into her glass as a joke.

She turned bright red

and accused me of trying to ruin her scene.

Well, why pick on you?

[laughs]

Is it possible that you don't know?

Before Eve wiggled her way into Jerry's heart,

I used to live at the beach house.

[Lt. Hernandez] Excuse me.

Uh, everybody hold up.

May I have your attention, please?

Lieutenant, this is a closed set.

And this is a murder investigation.

Miss Finch, will you be so kind

as to point out the person

you saw threaten Jerry Lydecker's life?

She's the one. Mrs. Fletcher.

Well, that's ridiculous. I never threatened him.

[Lt. Hernandez] Ah, Miss Finch,

do you recall her exact words?

Yes she said: "I promise you Mr. Lydecker,

that I will do whatever I have to do to stop you from making this picture".

Oh, well.

Well, I admit it sounds rather provocative out of context--

Miss Finch.

Uh, what did she say to you yesterday,

when you suggested that she phone Jerry Lydecker instead of

-coming to see him on the set? -She said:

"What I must do cannot be done on the telephone."

-[Miss Finch] And then she killed him! -Rubbish.

Miss Fletcher, you'd better come with us. Brody?

Heavens!... I think I'm under arrest!

[Lt. Hernandez] I know. Eh, uh, Arnold,

I'm tired of being jerked around on 'Ghetto Detective'.

Now either you get me the deal I want or I get a new agent, all right?

[phone being slammed down]

Lieutenant. Don't you think it's time you read me my rights?

[Lt. Hernandez] Not necessary.

Would you like a cup of coffee?

No, I don't want a cup of coffee.

I want justice.

Relax J.B., I'm not gonna book you.

At least not now.

Well, why'd you bring me in?

Ah-ha. To throw off the real killer...

And to give you a chance to do your thing.

Having someone accuse me of murder

in front of all those people was a ploy?

Not necessarily.

That secretary did hear you make that accusation.

And, frankly, J.B., you've been upgraded

from a good suspect to the prime suspect.

The D.A. thinks that he can get a conviction

based on that evidence.

And what do you think?

Ah, see? I know you better than that.

And I said to the D.A., I said,

"Hey, you watch.

This lady is gonna clear herself

by coming up with the real killer."

And what if I don't?

Well, then we're both in a lot of trouble.

[knocking] [Jessica] Is that you, Norman?

[Norman] Yes.

The door's open. Come on in.

Mrs. Fletcher? Oh. Mrs. Fletcher.

Let me tell you...

As soon as Marty Strindberg

heard that you had been arrested,

he sent me straight to police headquarters.

-To spring me? -No. To make a deal.

He can get you anything you want

at Warner's, Fox, Paramount... Anywhere...

Except for the studio where your picture's being made.

On account of your arrest, you've been banned from the lot

as a disruptive influence.

-Norman. -Mrs. Fletcher.

Norman, would you like to defend me on a murder charge?

Murd...murder?

Mrs. Fletcher, I'm not a real-real lawyer.

I'm in show business.

Well, we may be able to avoid it,

but it'll take very hard work and a good deal of research.

-Are you game? -Name it.

Mrs. Fletcher, I will do anything

to stay out of a courtroom.

Good.

Well, Norman, I want you to look into

Eve Crystal's medical records,

Allan Gebhart's battle with alcohol and drugs,

Ross Haley's financial status...

And Marta Quintessa's relationship

with Jerry Lydecker.

-[Norman exhales forcefully] -Ah.

[nervous laugh]

Mrs. Fletcher, I don't know where to start.

Be resourceful.

Meantime, I have a few things to look into at the studio.

Do you have any contacts there?

Yes, but it won't do you any good.

They won't allow you to set foot on the lot.

[projectionist] Is this what you wanted to see?

Yes. I think so.

[projectionist] If you want to talk to me,

you have to push that little switch forward.

-This switch? -[projectionist] You got it.

[Jessica] Are you sure this is the footage

Mr. Lydecker was watching just before he was murdered?

[projectionist] Yes. I checked the reel number myself.

[projectionist] This is it.

-Thank you, Mr. Lester. -My pleasure.

And please give my regards to my nephew Norman,

who almost never comes by for Friday night dinner anymore.

I'll tell him.

Hand markers!

Hey, come on. We gotta go.

[assistant director] Hey, come on! We gotta get going.

[shrieks, giggles]

[from behind the camera] Get out of the way. Get out of the way!

Oh, excuse me, Mr. Bennet. I hope I'm not disturbing you.

I thought you were in the slammer.

Well, that was just a police mistake.

I want you to know that I just came

from seeing some rushes.

It's so exciting to see my book come alive,

and you are absolutely wonderful.

Yeah? Thanks.

Say, um, could I give you an autographed picture?

Just a little something to take back to Vermont with you.

Why, that's very thoughtful.

I just happen to have a couple with me here.

I suppose once this movie's over,

you'll be an even bigger star.

Matter of time, that's all.

Such a shame about Mr. Lydecker.

I'm sure he was a great help to you in your career.

[scoffs] About like a pair of combat boots at a track meet.

There you are.

Oh, "love and kisses, Scott Bennet."

How nice.

But wouldn't you rather give this to Eve?

What's that supposed to mean?

Oh, I'm sorry. I was under the impression

that you know, you were, eh... what they call an item. Is that the term?

[clears throat] Erm...

Who told you about us?

Well, actually, Mr. Bennet, you did.

Just now. Or, rather, you...

[crew member] We're ready for you on the set.

You bore out what I noted up on the screen.

-Mr. Bennet. -Wh-what?

-You're wanted on the set. -Now?

-Yes! -I don't want to hold you up.

[Frustrated sigh] Ross, what the hell's going on around here?

I thought this was a closed set.

[Jessica] You know, it must be so difficult

to cope with those last-minute costume changes.

You have no idea, Mrs. Fletcher.

Oh, please. Call me Jessica.

I'm Elinor.

You know, Elinor, I was just thinking.

Our director and costume designer

were right here in this room

discussing the new costume changes

at the very moment that Mr. Lydecker was murdered.

No.

According to the director,

they left together soon after they heard the police siren.

They left before the siren.

I was alone when I heard it. It gave me goose bumps.

-But they did leave together? -No. Separately.

I believe Miss Quintessa left first.

Did it matter?

Oh, not that I know of.

I suppose the police asked a lot of questions

about the original costumes.

They were only interested in seeing the new costumes.

Mostly all I could show them were the sketches.

You know, I'd be terribly interested

to see those original costumes.

I heard they were gorgeous.

Ah. Come with me, Jessica.

Here. Look for yourself.

[gasps] Breathtaking.

Oh, and all of these discarded.

It's a shame. That's what it is.

A wasteful, extravagant shame.

You know, I seem to recall

a drawing of a drum majorette's costume.

That's the only costume that isn't here.

You wouldn't happen to know where it is, would you?

Well, I know who took it and never brought it back.

[Jessica gasps]

Stop that man!

[Jessica] Norman! Stop him.

[intruder] Let me go! What are you...

-Ross Haley! -Let me go.

What happened?

Well, Mr. Haley was hiding in Eve's dressing room,

and when I surprised him, he shoved me aside

and ran out the door.

All right. Search him, Brody.

You can't search me. I didn't do anything.

All right. Listen, he's got a point.

I don't need any problems with the supreme court.

Lieutenant, he knocked me off my feet.

Oh, that's right.

That's felonious assault. Search him, Brody.

All right. Against the car.

[Brody] Assume the position.

[Brody] Spread your feet. Hands on the hood.

[Lt Hernandez] Now what happened?

I went into Eve's dressing room

because I was searching for the costume...

[Brody] Lieutenant.

[Lt. Hernandez] Hey, a gold button.

Isn't this the button that you saw

next to Jerry Lydecker's dead body?

That's it. It has the same design.

[Lt Hernandez] Well, that's good enough for me.

Haley was trying to plant this button

in Eve Crystal's dressing room when you caught him in the act.

Cuff him, Brody.

I want my lawyer, Hernandez.

You're not gonna get away with this.

[vehicle drives away]

Mrs. Fletcher, you did it.

You uncovered the real killer and got yourself off the hook.

Well, lieutenant Hernandez seems to be of the same opinion.

Now, Norman, did you get the information that I want?

Oh, yes, ma'am, and you were dead-on.

Listen to this.

Ross Haley mortgaged his house on a couple of bad option deals.

He is overextended in every direction and deeply in debt...

[snaps fingers]

That's why he had to make this his picture.

He wanted to get credit for a hit.

-And the rest. -The rest?

The rest, Norman.

Oh. Oh, yeah. The rest. It's right here.

Allan Gebhart successfully kicked drugs

but is still having a problem with alcohol.

Eve Crystal has diabetes mellitus

and takes oral medication.

And Marta Quintessa?

Oh. She used to be Jerry Lydecker's mistress...

And once-once threatened to turn him into a shish kebab

for fooling around with younger women.

[laughing]

Norman, I knew you could do it.

Mrs. Fletcher, could I buy you a drink?

You cracked this case, and, well, that calls for a party.

A party? That's a brilliant idea.

-Ooh! -Oh. Here you go.

Oh, thank you.

And thanks to our gracious hostess...

For this lovely little farewell get-together

with my new friends.

I hate to say good-bye to people that I like.

-Marta. -Oh, thank you.

-Eve. -No. Thanks.

-How about you, tiger? -Oh, you bet.

Perhaps you'd prefer a diet soda?

I'm sure Eve has some in the house.

Oh, yeah. It's in the refrigerator.

I'll get it.

-Bring me one? -Sure.

I hope this isn't going to be too sentimental.

I have been known to weep buckets over a verse in a greeting card.

I cry over greeting cards too. Especially when they say 'Happy Birthday'!

Well, I see no reason to let this stuff get warm.

Skoal.

The man at the wine shop said that's a very good vintage.

[Marta] He wouldn't know.

It went past his taste buds too fast to even leave a flavor.

Scott, now you won't be able

to drink to Mrs. Fletcher's toast.

You're absolutely right, and I must do something about it.

-Eve. -Thank you.

Dear lady, you're on.

If you don't mind, I'd like to save my toast till last.

Okay.

To "The Corpse Danced at Midnight."

The film that died at noon.

[Jessica] You're sure they won't try to finish the film?

I mean, with a new director and a new producer?

No, not a chance.

The top-grossing picture this week

is about sex-crazed teenagers on a cruise.

And, uh, Eve's studio has asked her

to do a picture about sex-crazed teenagers on safari.

Based on a Hemingway short story.

Oh. Poor Ernest.

[Marta] To Jerry Lydecker, wherever he may be.

You know, it's easy for us to make fun of him,

but he really wasn't such a terrible person.

-Oh, tell me about it, darling. -He-he was always kind to me.

Well, I'll drink to that.

I might choke drinking to Jerry.

I prefer to drink to your toast.

Well, you might choke on my toast too, Allan.

To Ross Haley, a man wrongfully accused of murder.

I have to be going.

I have decisions to make about my life.

New places. New people.

And anyway, I may get married.

I have to go too.

Not that this hasn't been fun.

Tomorrow morning, I'm starting a new screenplay

to try to restore my self-esteem.

Well, I hope you'll send me a copy

if it's not too much trouble.

No trouble at all.

Just don't make a book out of it and do to me what I did to you.

I promise. [laughs]

I refuse to say good-bye to you, Jess.

-Au revoir. -Au revoir.

-[Eve] More champagne? -[Scott] No, I want to look good tomorrow.

I have a breakfast meeting with a guy from a TV network

who wants me to star in a new series.

[Eve] Great, tell me about it!

Well, there's nothing to tell. Just another series.

Look, I gotta go work out.

In fact, I'm running late for my health club appointment now.

[Eve] Scott, don't go.

Look, I gotta stay in shape. That's showbiz.

Look, I'll call you. I really will.

I'll call you.

And a very good-bye to you too, Mrs. Fletcher.

Good-bye, Scott. Good luck.

Thank you.

Well, party's over.

Did you, uh,

really have to say that about Ross?

It's true, you know.

He didn't kill Jerry Lydecker.

-He was arrested. -Oh, he committed a crime.

He removed evidence from the scene of the murder.

And according to his confession with the police,

while I was trying to make myself understood

to the security guard,

he came onto the stage by another entrance

and found the body.

He also found a gold button from a costume.

He knew at once who had killed the producer.

But he wanted to protect that person to finish the picture.

So he took the button

and removed the fingerprints from the urn...

And left the same way that he'd come in.

There's still time to tell your story

to lieutenant Hernandez, Eve.

I don't know what you're talking about.

Don't you?

Mr. Lydecker caught on to the fact

that his protégée was having an affair with her co-star,

It's not true.

Oh, Eve.

Your relationship was obvious in the love sequence...

Mr. Lydecker saw just before he went to the set.

He wanted to discuss the costumes that you didn't like.

That would explain why you wore one

from a scene that hadn't been shot yet...

And that never will be shot.

Jerry told me he wanted to drop Scott from the film.

Only a few of his scenes had been shot,

so they could be restaged with another actor

at no great financial loss.

Jerry's words.

It would've ruined his career.

I begged Jerry not to do it.

But he just laughed.

Don't you see?

I had to do something to stop him.

I grabbed the nearest thing I could get my hand on.

A heavy urn.

He was going to spread the word that Scott had been fired...

Because he was trouble, didn't bother to learn his lines.

Never showed up at the set on time.

I didn't know I lost a button.

I just ran to the car and drove here in my costume.

Well, that's why Ross Haley couldn't find your costume

in your dressing room closet.

He was trying to return the button when I walked in on him.

-Protecting me? -No. Not you, Eve.

His picture. He desperately needed a success.

Even a dreary, second-hand success.

How did you know?

Well,

I didn't, not at first.

You fooled me with your drunk scene.

People don't give you enough credit as an actress.

It was only later that I started thinking about

what you were drinking that night.

I'm no expert,

but even I know that real drinkers

don't mix scotch whiskey with diet cola.

Then I remembered Marta saying...

That someone put vodka in your glass in a party scene,

and it caused you to turn bright red.

Well, there is a certain oral medication

that diabetics use that could've caused that.

You're not a drinker. You never were.

You knew somebody would come to tell you about Mr. Lydecker,

and you knew that you had to have an alibi.

I thought I could make it look

as though I'd been drinking alone for hours...

So no one would ever suspect.

Do you want me to make the phone call?

You know, it's-it's funny.

I never wanted to be a movie star.

It was all Jerry's idea.

I would've done anything for him.

Jerry, Scott...

I sure know how to pick 'em, don't I, Mrs. Fletcher?