All language subtitles for Batman s02e36 The Mad Hatter Runs Afoul.eng

NARRATOR". When we said our last
fearful farewells to Batman and Robin...

the malevolent Mad Hatter
had trapped them...

in a fluoroscopic cabinet
of an atomic energy laboratory...

where, exposed to high-voltage x-rays...

it would only be a matter of moments
before they'd be radiated forever.

For you, another few hours have gone by...

for the Dynamic Duo, an eternity...

as we shall shortly see.

Horror of horrors,
can it have happened at long, long last?

The disastrous demise
of the Dynamic Duo?

Yesterday, flesh and blood...

now cowled skeletons.

But who could this be?

The Mad Hatter again?

Demented enough to return
to the scene of his fossilized folly?

Now what's the matter, Polly?
I told you what to expect.

But I didn't expect it.

Why did you bring me here
if you knew about this all the time?

Every man likes a pretty girl with him
at a skeleton dance.

This time, Jervis, you've gone too far.

At least far enough, boss.

There's still ground to be covered.

But with Batman and Robin out of the way,
as I've seen with my own two eyes...

the rest of this caper
should be a picnic.

A picnic? At a time like this?

Let's get out of here
before anybody discovers us.

Although apparently
no one is keeping a death watch.

Hey, boss, you know you could have
picked up another cowl in there.

A morbid thought, Skimmer.

The one I tricked Batman out of last night
will fill the bill beautifully.

No.

I won't believe it.

I don't believe it. I can't believe it.

My world has just been ripped to shreds...

seam by seam.

Come now, commissioner,
nothing could be as bad as all that.

This is, chief.

A cleaning woman
at the Gotham Atomic Energy Laboratory...

Now, now, easy does it.

Just called the editor
of the Gotham Post Tribune.

- Maybe if you loosened your tie.
- And told them...

Have you still got that bottle here
in your drawer?

That she had seen the...

The skeletons...

of Batman and Robin.

The what?

The skeletons of the Caped Crusaders...

shrouded in their cowls...

Hold on to me, commissioner.

In a fluoroscopic cabinet
where they met their maker...

Don't say it.

Under high-voltage x-ray.

No.

Pennsylvania 6-5-0-0-0.

Oh!

No, no, no.

Well, he's at his ranch right now, but I'm
sure he'll fly to Gotham City right away.

Trafalgar 6-5-0-0-0.

Oh! No, no, no.

She's at Windsor Castle.
She'll fly to Gotham City immediately.

Belatzova 6-5-0-0-0.

- Herr Batman?
- I wanna thank you for your assistance...

Professor Overbeck.
- Oh, please, don't thank me.

You know, if it weren't
for that little thingamajig...

You mean the Bat X-ray deflector
in my utility belt.

Gosh, yes. Sure a great gadget...

for deflecting all types of radiation
in an instant.

It never hurts to be prepared, professor.

Oh, and you certainly were.

You know, with that extra cowl you wore
under your contaminated one...

and the additional wardrobe you had
in your Batmobile. Hmm!

It never would've worked if it hadn't been
for the two skeletons in your closet.

Now I think we should get
to the Batcave. Wait a minute.

Remember, we left the Batmobile in back.

Holy memory bank, you're right.

NARRATOR". But earth-shaking events
or solitary moments, crime marches on.

Look, Jervis,
they're coming down the tank now.

So I see. Ha, ha.

Batman thought he was so smart
planting that tracking gizmo in this cowl.

But now it's planted forever...

in that tank at the top of the tower.

Oh, the Mad Hatter
has outsmarted the dear departed. Heh.

Jervis, you sound like the Joker
or the Puzzler, or even the Riddler.

Those phonies?

Well, if Batman is so departed...

why do you go to all the trouble
of hiding the tracking gizmo?

I'm not hiding it, Polly, I'm drowning it.

Now, obviously the Caped Crusader's
little accident will be discovered.

Now, there will be questions asked.
The police will be called in.

I don't want anything to lead them to me.

At least not until I have replaced
the priceless ruby...

in the Golden Buddha
of Bergama's forehead...

with this cheap replica
from Hattie Hatfield's headdress.

Cheap replica?

Of course, this is not
the real Hatfield ruby.

You mean you knew that all the time?

All the time, Polly.

My entire plan was to find a ruby
similar to one in the Buddha's forehead...

and then get rid of Batman and Robin.

Now I've succeeded in both.

Now, just as soon as
Benny and Skimmer come in...

we're off to the Gotham Art Center.

- Why there?
- That's where the Buddha...

goes on exhibit in one hour.

Now, all we have to do
is overpower the Royal Bergama Guard...

"accompanying the exhibit
on its world tour."

And then with the aid
of my reliable ruby retriever...

we'll switch rubies,
and we're off and running.

We'd better be off and running right now.

Yeah. Have you been outside recently?

Not since we came in here. Why?

Because everything's come to a dead stop,
that's why.

Someone found those two skeletons.

Well, it was bound to happen
sooner or later.

Well, it happened sooner.
All business is shut down.

The people are flocking to their home
by the thousands.

The whole town's at half-mast.

What a perfect time to snatch the ruby.

Now, Jervis, I'm not so sure that I...

Now, don't go soft on me, Polly.

Who made Batman and Robin
famous crime-fighters?

Criminals, that's who. If you want
to show a little respect to the departed...

stay crooked.

That's the least you could do.

Sure, boss.

You bet.

I guess you're right, Jervis.

It is sort of like putting flowers
on their graves.

I'm sorry, Mildred.

There are already over 4000 women
on the funeral committee alone.

But I might work you in
on the Statue of Batman Committee.

Good, I'll put your name down.

It's just wonderful
the way the citizens get together...

when it's a national crisis, isn't it?

Oh, Alfred, how touching.

You're in mourning too.

And you're not even a native citizen.

Now, you two boys
must get black armbands too.

Aunt Harriet...

- Oh. What in the world is that?
- That's what I was coming to tell you, madam.

An immense crowd has gathered outside.

I had to close the gates.

You see, madam, they know that, um,
Mr. Bruce was a friend of Batman's and...

- Yes, yes.
- Well, they're just here.

See that they're served coffee
and sandwiches.

And we'll see them
as soon as we get composed a little more.

Aunt Harriet.

Aunt Harriet, what would
your reaction be...

if I told you that
beyond a shadow of a doubt...

I knew that Batman and Robin
are still alive?

Well, I just wouldn't
believe it, that's all.

What if I told you, Aunt Harriet?

Oh, you two are sweet
to try to bolster my shattered spirits.

But after all, I myself was the one
who telephoned Professor Overbeck...

at the atomic laboratory.

And he wouldn't lie, would he?

Dick, um, perhaps you and I
should have a moment alone in my study.

I think so, Bruce.

Oh, that's a beautiful way
for you to express your respects.

Hello?

Oh, hello, Esther.

One more try, Dick?

It's the only thing to do, Bruce.

Fifty-thousand people...

just standing.

The greatest of all the ills of man
is grief, Chief O'Hara.

Mother McGillicutty,
he's calling from the grave.

One thing we do know,
at least Batman isn't buried yet.

Yes?

- Batman?
- Commissioner, I tried to get you earlier.

For as a great man before me has said:

"The rumors of my death
are greatly exaggerated."

It's him, all right, the Caped Crusader.

Returned from beyond the pale,
that's what he's done.

Apparently there's been
a slight error, Batman?

I'll explain, or certainly try, later,
commissioner.

Right now Robin and I are off
to nail Mad Hatter.

Mad Hatter? At a time like this...

who cares about that pipsqueak's
inconsequential crimes?

Any crime, no matter how large or small,
Commissioner Gordon...

is a violation of a public right
and common law...

and the criminal or criminals committing
such an offense must be apprehended...

for the sake of all human morality.

- You'll hear from me shortly.
- Right.

To the Batpoles.

I guess the first order of business,
Chief O'Hara...

is getting word to the presidential jet.
- Right.

NARRATOR". But even while the world pulls
out of its tailspin...

the Mad Hatter's violating public right
and common law.

I told you, the perfect time
for the perfect crime.

Even the Bergama Royal Guards
aren't here.

Boy, that was quick, boss.

But not quick enough, Jervis.

I was down at the hat check stand,
checking no hats, and guess what I heard.

- What?
- Batman and Robin are alive.

How could you have heard that?

I did, and it's spreading like wildfire,
from the president at the airport...

to the satellite,
to every country on earth.

Wouldn't you know. I reach the peak of my
career and now a petty annoyance like this.

While at the same time...

Batman and Robin are back
in their familiar haunt.

Mad Hatter has to be someplace
with that contaminated cowl.

Ergo...

Ergo, the small bug I tucked in the cowl
has to be someplace too.

Is that a bleep?

It sounded more like a splash to me, Robin.

Which fits. My little gadget contained
an Underwater Bat-sonar Device.

Holy mermaid.

Now let's see if we can pinpoint
the exact location.

Aha.

A body of water at Spring and Lake Streets.

The old Lake Street reservoir.

Drained, filled,
and turned into a housing project.

The Spring Street Aquarium?

Ran out of fish.

We're not getting far.

But it's a lot better
than being departed and defunct.

Defunct.

I think you may have hit it, old chum.

The defunct Green Derby Restaurant...

near the intersection
of Spring and Lake Streets.

And if memory serves me correctly...

there's an old elevated water
storage tank directly behind it.

Yes, commissioner?

We've just learned a ruby was stolen
out of the Golden Buddha...

on exhibit at the Gotham Art Center...

and replaced by the one taken out of
Hattie Hatfield's headdress last night...

which incidentally was fake.

No doubt the Mad Hatter's involved.

But you don't know how relieved I am
to tell you this, Batman.

Relieved?
At the loss of a million-dollar ruby?

No, no, no.

Relieved to know
that you're back on the job.

Thank you, commissioner.

And we'll try to get that ruby back too.

Well, old chum...

out of the sarcophagus
and back into the saddle.

Gentlemen, uh, would you care
to check your cowls?

We won't be staying that long, miss.

And business doesn't seem
to be exactly thriving.

Well, we shut down immediately
when we heard about Batman and Robin.

A thoughtful gesture.

But a lot of dust sure
settled in a short time.

Well, it's this location.

With that, uh, water tower
out back there, it's, uh...

What about that water tower?

Well, it seems to attract a lot of dust.

Let's level, young lady.

Does it not also attract Mad Hatter
and his equally mad henchmen?

And are they not using this defunct restaurant
as a hideout, with you as a pretty decoy?

Where would you ever get an idea like that?

From that cowl...

which Mad Hatter stole
from me last night.

You're Batman?

Holy hoodwink.

Or holy na?vet?. Take your choice.

Exactly, Robin.

And when they saw the Batmobile
pull up outside...

did Mad Hatter and his slippery stooges
head for that water tower...

whatever the nefarious reasons?

Sure, they're climbing it right now.

That cowl, which Mad Hatter
apparently forgot to decontaminate...

contains lethal radioactive elements.

He must get medical help at once.

Let's go, Robin.

- May I go with you?
- Yes, you can lead the way.

Look, boss, Polly is leading Batman and Robin
right here, straight to this water tower.

Oh, Jervis isn't gonna like this at all.

Or is he expecting you to play coy...

then innocent...

then frightened...

then lead us to him?

You mean a trap, Batman.

I think we should make this climb
with even more caution than usual.

Robin, stand back.

- They're coming up.
- So what?

When they get to the top of the ladder...

I'll simply turn on my super-instant
mesmerizing device in my hat, and...

Any other ideas, boss?

Where's the rest of the gang?

Hey, gang-

Sic them. Sic them. Sic them.

Come on, boys!

- Where's the Mad Hatter?
- Up there.

Come down before you die of radioactivity.

At least I'll die with a fortune.

The ruby from the Golden Buddha
of Bergama's forehead is in my pocket...

and I defy anybody to get it.

And we'll accept that challenge, begorra.

Gosh, Chief O'Hara, are we glad to see you.

Oh, that goes double for me,
Boy Wonder. That in Shamrocks.

We got your call
from the Batmobile, Batman.

But the whole city has gone wild,
celebrating your arising from the grave...

A waste of the citizens' time,
energy and money, Chief O'Hara.

- Where's Commissioner Gordon?
- He caught the girl at the bottom...

and he's taking her in to book her
as an accessory.

Good. Well, then you can take over here.

Yes, my pleasure.

Holy multitudes.

Well...?

Well...?

After you, old chum.

Now that the tumult and the shouting
have died down...

and the captains and the kings
have departed...

I have a question.

- Yes, Aunt Harriet?
- How did you know...

without a shadow of a doubt
that Batman and Robin were alive...

when the whole world thought
they were dead?

Yes, well, I, um...

Or you, Dick?

You were equally emphatic.

Well, Aunt Harriet, you see, I, uh...

I know you don't want me
to divulge the secret, sir...

but I think the time has come
to tell Mrs. Coop...

- No, no, Alfred.
- Yes, sir.

- To tell Mrs. Cooper the truth.
- Alfred.

- It is I who told them, madam.
- You, Alfred? How did you know?

Maudie, the cleaning woman
at the atomic energy laboratory...

is my cousin Egbert's wife.

And Maudie's always been sadly given
to, shall we say, heh, exaggeration.

But Professor Overbeck himself
substantiated her story.

Just protecting a bewildered
employee, madam.

So that's all it was.

An idle rumor that shook the world.

Well, perhaps it's just as well.

At least Batman and Robin,
wherever they are...

Whoever they are beneath those masks.

Must know with what esteem
they are held...

in the hearts of all the people
on this earth.

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