All language subtitles for Batman s02e34 The Catwoman Goeth.eng

NARRATOR".
When we last left the Dynamic Duo...

Sandman, that notorious European
criminal recently arrived in Gotham City...

was preparing
to deliver a sleeping Robin...

into Catwoman's clutches.

While Batman was tied to a mattress...

above which the wicked needle
of a button-stitching device...

was bearing down on him.

For you, of course, some time has passed.

For the Caped Crusaders, mere seconds.

The kid's waking up, Sandman.

Yeah, prepare the patient for a brief
stethoscopic examination, Snooze.

- Where's Batman? What have you done to him?
- I? Ha-ha-ha.

It was you who did it, Caped Captive.

At my command, you pressed the switch
which should have disposed of him by now.

How ironic.
Batman button-stitched to death by Robin.

You fiendish quack.

To the medical eye, such
childish claptrap...

means only one thing, young man,
you need some sleep.

Well, we've liquidated Batman...

and Catwoman has her own little plan
for Robin's demise.

A day's dirty work well done.

- Take him out to the Batmobile.
- The Batmobile, Sandman?

It's parked out in front.

After I take him to the Catlair,
I shall dispose of the Batmobile...

then I'm sure J. Pauline Spaghetti
will be phoning frantically...

for another penthouse call
from Dr. Somnambula.

Asleep? Lovely.

Lovely.

- What happened to Batman?
- Tell her.

He's dead.

Are you sure?

I pushed the switch that killed him.

Then you have a new assistant, Catwoman.

Only as long as he remains asleep.

Kitty, you know where to take him.

Follow me, Robin.

I'll join you shortly.

I'm sure you'll find your next adventure
most amazing.

Did your emphasis on "amazing"
have any particular significance?

A play on words, Sandman.

How did things go
with J. Pauline Spaghetti?

It shouldn't be long before her entire
fortune is in my control, Catwoman.

Your control?

Our control.

Now I must find someplace
to abandon the Batmobile...

and then return to J.
Pauline's penthouse.

For such a highly respected criminal...

there's something insidiously
untrustworthy about Sandman.

Whereas he has only one life, I wonder
if he realizes that a cat has nine.

With Batman and Robin out of the way,
all I have to do...

is to put J. Pauline Spaghetti to sleep again
and purloin that billion-dollar fortune.

Purloin seems to be more
of a Catwoman word, Sandman.

Never fear, in this
Somnambulistic scheme...

I, Sandman, will have the last word,
which will be the word that counts.

NARRATOR".
What do we have here...

in the depths
of the newly-renovated catacombs?

A maze?

What's this?

Still asleep, Boy Wonder?

I think he's waking up a little.

Creep out softly, Kitty.

Where am I?

On the threshold of my maze.

An enlarged version of the type...

in which scientific experiments
are carried out on rats and mice.

You will notice that the entrance is here,
the exit here...

directly adjoining.

However, once you start into it...

it may take you the rest of your life
before you get out of it, if then.

Somewhere within the place,
my traitorous cat servant Catarina...

is hopelessly wandering. Ha, ha.

Unless she's found the center of the maze.
In that case, she'll never return.

- Ready?
- No, I'm not going into that maze.

I'm wide awake now and I...

This Catamizer contains deadly
catasonic acid, Boy Wonder.

Which do you prefer?

Taking a chance on getting out of the maze
in an hour, a week, a year...

or being catalyzed here
in a matter of seconds?

Hmm?

Holy voltage!

NARRATOR".
Set ad rift...

without the Boy Wonder
or the Batmobile...

Batman courageously presses on.

Commissioner Gordon,
I know Robin too well...

to believe he'd ever betray me
and embrace a life of crime.

I'm certain Sandman has turned him
into a sleepwalker.

We must make every effort to find him.
I'll put every man behind it.

No, commissioner,
I'll find him and Sandman.

But in the meantime, J. Pauline Spaghetti
must have maximum protection.

- The billionaire noodle queen?
- I'll explain later.

Meanwhile, station all men you have available
in and around her penthouse suite.

And above all, don't let her see
a certain Dr. Somnambula.

Dr. Somnambula?

I must get to the Batcave
as fast as possible.

Let me send a police car.

A needless waste of taxpayers' money,
commissioner.

Gotham City's transit line
is the world's most rapid.

Dr. Somnambula.

Isn't that the name that phony Sleeping
Beauty mentioned on television?

Yes, Chief O'Hara.

And with Robin kidnapped,
the Batmobile missing...

J. Pauline Spaghetti
somehow in dire danger...

and both Catwoman and Sandman
deeply involved...

I've never said this before, Chief
O'Hara, but for once, it looks as if...

our side has fumbled the ball.

Oh!

You gave me quite a start, sir.
I didn't hear the Batmobile.

I took the subway to Wayne Station
and Batwalked up the road.

You... But what happened?
Where is Master Robin?

Both of them are still in the clutches
of that scheming sleepy hood, Sandman...

who barely missed
making a mattress out of me.

If I may, sir.

Sometimes I can't help wondering if...

If the hazards of crime-fighting
are really worth the goal.

That, Alfred, has never entered my mind.

Perhaps the Batmobile Tracking Graph
can be of some help to us now.

Let's just hope that wherever
the Batmobile is, Robin is.

Aha. Good.

The Batmobile is still transmitting
its location signal.

Strange.

It seems to be passing through
a run-down factory area.

It won't be found too soon
in this run-down factory area.

- What about Nap?
- He's right behind us in the pickup truck.

It stopped.
I know that section of the city well.

Derwin Alley.
It's surrounded by run-down factories.

Perhaps a call
to Commissioner Gordon, sir?

No, Alfred, the Batmobile
is my personal responsibility.

And who knows
what might have happened to Robin?

But there's no subway station
in that vicinity, nor a bus line.

I could drive you down
in the Wayne limousine, sir.

I couldn't drive the Batmobile back
as Bruce Wayne, Alfred.

No. No, you couldn't.

Let me take you in on the Alf-cycle, sir.

I don't think we shall
attract much attention.

Mm-hm. Mm-hm.

Yes. A wise solution.

That's funny,
that looks just like the Batmobile.

All the new cars look alike this year.

Maybe they all look alike to a rookie cop,
Reggie...

but when you've been on the force
longer, you'll see some difference.

Registered to a guy named
Batman, all right.

With no street address.

And he left the keys in the ignition.

Two traffic violations right there.
Vehicle code numbers...

It's not like Batman to do that.

Here we are, sir.

- Thank you for the lift, citizen.
- The least I could do, sir.

Good work, officers.
I see you've found my car.

Your car, bub?

Got any identification?

Reggie, this is Batman. I can vouch for it.

Then you know your registration is incomplete
and you left your keys in the ignition.

The Batmobile was stolen. No doubt the thief
didn't wanna get caught with the keys.

Did you report it as stolen?

- Not exactly.
- That's another violation.

- Vehicle code number...
- Reggie, will you get off it?

He's got pull with Gordon and O'Hara.

Correction. I try to cooperate
with the police of Gotham City.

I say impound the car and run him in.

If you think that's your duty, officers.

Let's get to work.

Here's your keys, Batman.

Thank you, officers.
I'll correct the oversights.

Did either of you see Robin
when you found the Batmobile?

- Who's Robin?
- Oh, you've really got a lot to learn, Reggie.

Robin.

Robin? Batman to Robin.

But deep in the labyrinth
of Catwoman's maze...

Robin, lost and confused,
doesn't know Batman is still alive.

And also,
finds he's joined Policewoman Mooney...

in the inescapable center
of Catwoman's torturous trap.

Robin. Boy Wonder, what are you doing
in the center of this maze?

It's a long story. Who are you? Catarina?

Also, Policewoman Mooney.
Where's Batman?

I'm afraid it's over for
the Caped Crusader.

And for me.

- And for you too.
- No.

- We got in here and there must be a way out.
- None, Robin. None.

Holy rat trap!

Purr-cisely, Boy Wonder, for both of you.

And then when he gets his hands
on the Spaghetti billions, for Sandman.

A patrol car in Derwin Alley, Batman?

That must have been
Officers Hogan and Dietrick.

A credit to your department, commissioner.

One of them pointed out
three traffic violations on my part.

I trust he didn't give
you a ticket, Batman.

The other one talked him out of it.
Rather unusual police procedure...

but under the circumstances...

What are the circumstances?
Have you found Robin?

No, nor Sandman either.

Do you know if he's tried
to see J. Pauline Spaghetti again?

Chief O'Hara is over there right now
with all the men that we can spare.

Hold on a minute, Batman. That may be him
on my private phone right now.

Yes?

What?

But how could Sandman walk into
J. Pauline Spaghetti's penthouse...

and spirit her out from under your nose?

She said he was her savior
and demanded we let him in.

It's hard keeping saviors
out, commissioner.

And then he looked at me and me men,
said we seemed a little peaked...

and the first thing I knew,
he had this stethoscope...

What...? Hold on a minute, chief.
Commissioner Gordon.

This is Tuthill, commissioner.
Gotham City Security Trust.

Yes, Mr. Tuthill?

I'm sorry to bother you,
but if you happen to hear from Batman...

it just so happens he's holding
on another telephone now. Why?

A certain Dr. Somnambula...

Dr. Somnambula?

Yes, Dr. Somnambula just told me...

Batman might like to know
Catwoman's address, which he gave me.

Uh, it's "Catacombs Condominium,
Subterranean Suite 6."

What...? What did he want to see you about?

He came into the bank an hour or so ago
with J. Pauline Spaghetti.

- What for?
- It's rather sweet, really.

It seems the billionaire noodle queen
and her doctor are eloping.

She cashed a counter check for 200 million
just to see them through.

Eloping? Where?

They happened to mention
J. Pauline Spaghetti Island.

Sentimental, isn't it?
The site of her first noodle factory.

It's grand larceny, that's what it is.

Not to mention fraud, swindle...

extortion, and a vicious
and sinister plot.

O'Hara. O'Hara.
Get back over here on the double.

- Still there, Batman?
- Yes, commissioner.

Brace yourself.

How do I know
this isn't some kind of trick, Batman?

It's no trick, Catwoman. It's the truth.

How else would I have learned
the location of your Catlair?

Sandman eloping with J. Pauline Spaghetti?

And all those beautiful billions
I suspect you wanted to get your paws on.

But there is one way he might be stopped
if I can count on your help.

You can count on me for anything.

To get even with that
two-faced continental traitor.

Where's Robin?

Who?

Robin.

Sandman said
that he delivered him here to you...

as a little souvenir of a quilting bee.

Oh, Robin. Ha, ha.

Ah, tsk, tsk, tsk.

- Where is he, Catwoman?
- Oh, you're so strong and forceful, Batman.

- And determined.
- Mm.

If I can find Robin,
we can go to J. Pauline Spaghetti island...

Your mouth is handsome
when you're angry...

and your eyes are so flashing...

under that mask.

Where is he, Catwoman?

And if I purr, so to speak?

I'll testify that you cooperated,
the rest is up to the court.

Ah.

- Kitty, take Batman to my maze.
- Maze?

You'll find Robin in the center of it,
if you find the center of it.

Also that cunning oat servant, Catarina,
otherwise known as Policewoman Mooney.

- This way, Batman.
- After you.

Came.

Pack at once. We're catching the
first plane to the Canary Islands.

You just missed that plane, Catwoman.

How did you get in here?

Wherever there's a cat, Catwoman,
there's usually a back alley.

NARRATOR".
For the last time, what do we have here?

Batman in and out
of Catwoman's amazing maze in no time...

back in the Batmobile with Robin.

And away like dynamic flashes...

to the Batboat...

and J. Pauline Spaghetti Island.

You mean this is where it all began,
my dear J. Pauline?

Oh, doctor dear, no.

It started in a little shack
on the other side of the island.

I used to raise my own wheat outside.

Actually, this is where it all ended.

Or at least my first husband ended here.

Your first husband?

Yes, J. Peter Spaghetti.

He fell into a kneading machine.

And my second husband,
J. Phineas Spaghetti...

he dried to death on a vermicelli tray.

And my third husband,
J. Patrick Spaghetti...

cut.
- Cut?

You know those revolving knives
that cut noodles into bite-size pieces?

And J. Paul Spaghetti...

he stumbled into a steam cylinder.

He expanded to three times his size.

Not a bit pasty.

Who is this for?

Ah, heh. Oh, doctor dear,
a wise woman must look ahead.

Oh, this factory
holds so many memories for me...

that's why I wanted to be married here.

I'm so glad
that you brought the witnesses along.

I wonder what's happened
to the minister I called.

He probably stumbled into something.

Shouldn't you lie down and rest
before the ceremony?

Oh, for my fifth wedding day?

Oh, no. I don't mind
staying awake for that.

Sandman.

Look, the living mattress.

You two again?

Intruding as usual.

Yes, Sandman. This little
sleepwalk is over.

Pardon me, dear lady.

Sorry to interrupt your wedding,
Mrs. Spaghetti, but...

Holy sedative. She's asleep.

I don't think sedatives
had anything to do with it...

but she certainly
is blissfully, vertically, deeply asleep.

Noodles.

I wanna hear what happened to both of you
in the mountains.

Really, I do.

But I have been so involved
with a landscape architect...

who came up with a novel idea.

A maze in the front garden.

- A maze?
- Yes, Dick.

Like they have in the gardens
of old European palaces.

Now, ours would be constructed
on the hedge and alley system...

and planted with hornbeam
and holly and yew.

- Lovely.
- Now, just think of the fun we'd have at parties.

With our friends trying
to find their way to the center.

Indeed, madam. Very tricky.

Actually, not so tricky, Alfred.

You see, most mazes
are based pretty much on the same pattern.

Upon entering, you turn to your left. On the
first two occasions where you have a choice...

you keep right,
thereafter you keep to your left.

Is that how you found...? I mean...

- Uh, is that how it's done?
- Yes, that's how it's done, Dick.

Of course, the garden mazes
do present problems, Aunt Harriet.

Do they, Bruce?

For some unknown reason,
they attract cats by the thousands.

They're also strangely sleep-inducing...

undoubtedly due to the hypnotic effect
of the irregular pattern.

Oh.

Well, then, I'll go back
to my original idea.

A plain clover lawn.

In the long run, Aunt Harriet,
I think that would be much more restful.

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