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1
00:00:06,886 --> 00:00:10,344
Welcome to the final moments
of the event they said could never happen.
2
00:00:14,548 --> 00:00:16,948
This is Jimmy Olsen,
and if you're just tuning in...
3
00:00:17,124 --> 00:00:19,251
...gee whiz,
where the heck have you been?
4
00:00:19,433 --> 00:00:21,492
Let's look at the highlights
of the greatest event...
5
00:00:21,675 --> 00:00:24,872
...in the history of any sport ever played,
any place, ever.
6
00:00:25,054 --> 00:00:28,421
The Justice League International
versus the Legion Of Doom.
7
00:00:32,014 --> 00:00:33,504
The JLI took an early lead...
8
00:00:33,687 --> 00:00:36,815
...due to heavy hitters
Superman and Wonder Woman.
9
00:00:42,520 --> 00:00:45,853
We just got word
that Supes' first hit passed the moon, Titan.
10
00:00:46,501 --> 00:00:50,699
Luthor looked like an easy strikeout,
but had a surprise up his sleeve.
11
00:00:59,817 --> 00:01:03,048
Joker hit a foul ball, ugh, literally.
12
00:01:03,231 --> 00:01:05,961
He turned it into the tying run.
13
00:01:06,844 --> 00:01:08,937
Which brings us
to the bottom of the ninth.
14
00:01:09,119 --> 00:01:12,111
Heroes coming up to the plate
with the villains leading by three.
15
00:01:12,298 --> 00:01:13,788
Should be an exciting finish.
16
00:01:14,974 --> 00:01:16,805
I know it's not looking good right now.
17
00:01:16,982 --> 00:01:19,314
But those stands are full of people...
18
00:01:19,492 --> 00:01:23,223
...kids, like little Julie Schwartz
and Franky Miller from Gotham City...
19
00:01:23,406 --> 00:01:26,375
...who are depending on us to show that,
even in baseball...
20
00:01:26,551 --> 00:01:29,748
...good always triumphs over evil.
21
00:01:29,930 --> 00:01:32,694
So let's go out there and give it our all.
22
00:01:33,510 --> 00:01:36,877
The heroes start the inning
with their heavy hitters.
23
00:01:45,622 --> 00:01:46,953
Merciful Minerva.
24
00:01:47,530 --> 00:01:49,225
Out.
Uh-oh.
25
00:01:49,404 --> 00:01:51,895
Looks like Amazo's playing favorites
for the villains.
26
00:01:54,656 --> 00:01:55,680
Safe.
27
00:01:55,861 --> 00:01:57,419
But the truth prevails.
28
00:02:04,594 --> 00:02:07,222
Luthor's not taking any chances
on the Man of Steel.
29
00:02:12,523 --> 00:02:14,923
He forces him to take a stroll to first.
30
00:02:16,203 --> 00:02:19,604
Robin, the boy bunter,
loads the bases for the heroes.
31
00:02:19,784 --> 00:02:21,081
Luthor's calling time...
32
00:02:21,256 --> 00:02:24,350
...and I'm willing to bet he's calling
his team a few things while he's at it.
33
00:02:24,535 --> 00:02:27,026
Imbeciles! You couldn't catch a cold.
34
00:02:27,212 --> 00:02:29,942
What we need is a pitcher,
not a belly itcher.
35
00:02:30,290 --> 00:02:34,454
No. What we need is magic.
36
00:02:36,647 --> 00:02:38,376
Thanks to Faust's spell...
37
00:02:38,554 --> 00:02:40,818
...they'll have better luck
swinging a wet noodle.
38
00:02:40,997 --> 00:02:43,329
The game is as good as ours.
39
00:02:43,506 --> 00:02:46,168
The heroes have the bases loaded
with no outs.
40
00:02:46,350 --> 00:02:48,784
This game is as good as theirs.
41
00:02:48,959 --> 00:02:50,859
Strike one.
42
00:02:51,637 --> 00:02:53,571
Strike two.
43
00:02:55,016 --> 00:02:56,711
Three strikes. He's out.
44
00:03:01,942 --> 00:03:04,035
Another out and what looked like
a promising inning...
45
00:03:04,217 --> 00:03:05,809
...has turned into a nail-biter.
46
00:03:05,990 --> 00:03:08,117
It all comes down to Batman.
47
00:03:08,299 --> 00:03:12,292
Hey, mister. I won three
Little League championships with this.
48
00:03:12,849 --> 00:03:14,407
It's my lucky bat.
49
00:03:14,589 --> 00:03:16,853
I want you to have it.
50
00:03:17,935 --> 00:03:18,993
Doesn't matter.
51
00:03:19,173 --> 00:03:22,734
He's still no match for my arm.
52
00:03:24,459 --> 00:03:26,017
Great Scott!
53
00:03:26,199 --> 00:03:28,463
Luthor's been cheating the whole time.
54
00:03:33,460 --> 00:03:34,825
Strike one.
55
00:03:36,404 --> 00:03:38,372
Strike two.
56
00:03:42,527 --> 00:03:44,586
He swings.
57
00:03:53,903 --> 00:03:55,029
Batman's done it.
58
00:03:58,386 --> 00:03:59,785
I can't believe my eyes.
59
00:03:59,959 --> 00:04:02,894
JLI wins! JLI wins!
60
00:04:03,070 --> 00:04:08,007
Say what you want about the Dark Knight,
but today, he truly is a "bat" man.
61
00:04:09,260 --> 00:04:11,694
This is Jimmy Olsen signing off.
62
00:04:51,653 --> 00:04:55,145
Ladies and gentlemen,
today we present a modern twist...
63
00:04:55,333 --> 00:04:59,827
...on a true clown classic,
a staple of harlequin humor.
64
00:05:00,018 --> 00:05:04,079
Our unwilling participant,
the Dark Knight himself...
65
00:05:04,266 --> 00:05:10,171
...and a surprise guest, a nosy reporter
who got a little too close to her story.
66
00:05:10,356 --> 00:05:13,587
I hope this doesn't dissuade you
from a life of journalism, Miss Vale.
67
00:05:13,769 --> 00:05:15,430
It's still a noble calling.
68
00:05:15,609 --> 00:05:20,546
Without further ado, I give you
that time-honored staple of comedy.
69
00:05:20,729 --> 00:05:24,688
A pie in the face, the abridged version.
70
00:05:37,926 --> 00:05:39,188
Disappointing.
71
00:05:39,365 --> 00:05:41,595
I expected a bit more fanfare...
72
00:05:41,773 --> 00:05:45,004
...to usher in the worldwide reign
of Lex Luthor.
73
00:06:01,448 --> 00:06:03,382
Hold it, Luthor.
74
00:06:14,830 --> 00:06:18,926
Surrender now, Cheetah, and spare yourself
another humiliating defeat.
75
00:06:19,113 --> 00:06:23,015
But, Wonder Woman, darling,
what fun would that be?
76
00:06:37,115 --> 00:06:38,878
Hold tight, Miss Vale.
77
00:06:47,888 --> 00:06:51,585
But it was foolproof. Foolproof!
78
00:06:52,204 --> 00:06:53,762
I've won, Superman.
79
00:06:53,944 --> 00:06:57,038
Proven myself superior. Admit it.
80
00:06:57,223 --> 00:06:59,555
Have to know. How?
81
00:06:59,732 --> 00:07:02,257
A perpetual energy source, Superman.
82
00:07:02,442 --> 00:07:06,469
Enough to counter any degree of power,
even yours.
83
00:07:06,658 --> 00:07:08,751
Thanks for the info.
84
00:07:09,301 --> 00:07:14,933
Unh! You've ruined everything.
But I can still ruin you.
85
00:07:15,123 --> 00:07:16,613
Here it comes.
86
00:07:20,109 --> 00:07:23,374
The city's lead sewer pipes
will take care of that.
87
00:07:24,392 --> 00:07:26,986
But it was foolproof.
88
00:07:28,440 --> 00:07:30,567
Foolproof!
89
00:07:46,808 --> 00:07:49,641
But it was foolproof.
90
00:07:49,819 --> 00:07:52,083
Foolproof!
91
00:07:52,831 --> 00:07:55,356
Couldn't have done it without your help,
Major Trevor.
92
00:07:57,348 --> 00:07:59,782
- So are we still on?
- I'm in.
93
00:07:59,957 --> 00:08:02,687
- Batman? You coming?
- Wouldn't miss it.
94
00:08:14,880 --> 00:08:19,180
Okay, here's one from my Smallville days.
95
00:08:20,032 --> 00:08:21,192
Disgusting.
96
00:08:21,907 --> 00:08:24,569
It's in my palm. See?
97
00:08:24,951 --> 00:08:27,215
I meant the tabletop. It's hideous.
98
00:08:27,394 --> 00:08:29,453
Are these cows?
99
00:08:29,636 --> 00:08:32,901
It's not the venue. It's the company.
100
00:08:34,287 --> 00:08:37,051
- Double-bacon cheeseburger with fries.
- Make it two.
101
00:08:37,231 --> 00:08:39,859
I'll have the tuna club on whole wheat
and a salad...
102
00:08:40,041 --> 00:08:42,509
Make it three. And shakes all around.
103
00:08:42,685 --> 00:08:44,152
You'll work it off, princess.
104
00:08:44,324 --> 00:08:46,952
Have either of you given any thought
to the time capsule?
105
00:08:47,134 --> 00:08:50,035
Oh, right, the Superhero Memorial.
106
00:08:50,212 --> 00:08:52,043
So we give them a personal item...
107
00:08:52,220 --> 00:08:55,951
...they bury it and dig it up again
in 50 years? Why?
108
00:08:56,135 --> 00:08:58,501
A message
to future generations of heroes.
109
00:08:58,678 --> 00:09:00,475
Did you see their suggestions?
110
00:09:00,652 --> 00:09:04,588
Your tiara, my cape, Batman's Batarang?
111
00:09:04,767 --> 00:09:08,203
Please. As if those things
were all that defined us.
112
00:09:08,380 --> 00:09:10,610
Agreed. But then, what?
113
00:09:12,362 --> 00:09:14,455
To be continued, I guess. Food's here.
114
00:09:14,738 --> 00:09:21,143
When I'm fighting for the American way,
this is what I'm really talking about.
115
00:09:27,051 --> 00:09:29,679
We need a victory. And we need it now.
116
00:09:29,962 --> 00:09:33,022
Oh, face it, Lexy, the act's gone stale.
117
00:09:33,207 --> 00:09:36,176
Our respective nemesi
know all the punch lines.
118
00:09:36,352 --> 00:09:39,515
Like kryptonite.
Can't you do anything creative with it?
119
00:09:39,698 --> 00:09:42,599
I don't need advice
from a cut-rate Catwoman.
120
00:09:42,776 --> 00:09:48,009
Crazy thought. Maybe it's time
we changed dance partners, hmm?
121
00:09:48,197 --> 00:09:52,031
You scratch my foe's back,
I'll scratch yours.
122
00:09:52,445 --> 00:09:57,610
Yes. If each of us takes on a different hero,
it's a whole new game.
123
00:09:57,799 --> 00:09:59,790
Advantage, us.
124
00:10:00,074 --> 00:10:01,564
Dibs on the swimsuit model.
125
00:10:02,383 --> 00:10:04,578
A mere mortal for a change.
126
00:10:04,758 --> 00:10:06,749
But that leaves Cheetah with...
127
00:10:06,933 --> 00:10:08,730
The Man of Steel? Ha.
128
00:10:08,908 --> 00:10:12,935
Steel or flesh,
no man can resist the claws of this cat.
129
00:10:18,008 --> 00:10:21,307
And this time,
we bring the battle to them.
130
00:10:42,081 --> 00:10:44,174
Mother, I really don't have time for this.
131
00:10:44,356 --> 00:10:47,086
Oh, please. It's just one little contest.
132
00:10:47,267 --> 00:10:48,564
Which can last for days.
133
00:10:49,140 --> 00:10:51,165
I only came to Paradise Island today...
134
00:10:51,348 --> 00:10:54,749
...to find something to donate
for the time capsule project...
135
00:10:54,929 --> 00:10:57,921
...something that signifies heroism.
136
00:10:58,108 --> 00:10:59,837
I need to find...
137
00:11:01,520 --> 00:11:06,184
I haven't seen such a battle
since my own daughter's historic victory.
138
00:11:06,372 --> 00:11:07,498
Who are you?
139
00:11:07,811 --> 00:11:11,303
Just a humble warrior, my queen.
140
00:11:11,491 --> 00:11:15,120
Call me Maniaque, if it pleases you.
141
00:11:15,305 --> 00:11:19,105
Come forward and be honored,
Maniaque.
142
00:11:24,674 --> 00:11:25,868
Maniaque?
143
00:11:26,046 --> 00:11:27,070
Mother, look out!
144
00:11:33,506 --> 00:11:34,666
The Joker.
145
00:11:34,845 --> 00:11:37,643
Well, it ain't Helen of Troy.
146
00:11:39,095 --> 00:11:43,691
No man sets foot on Paradise Island,
let alone an insane psychopath.
147
00:11:43,879 --> 00:11:46,473
I am what I am, Wonder Wench.
148
00:11:46,656 --> 00:11:48,783
And you're about to be ancient history.
149
00:12:02,649 --> 00:12:05,709
So this is how the other half lives.
150
00:12:07,066 --> 00:12:11,503
Time to find out how the other half dies.
151
00:12:23,628 --> 00:12:28,156
Hmm. Kandor City.
Filled with Kryptonian artifacts.
152
00:12:28,345 --> 00:12:29,744
Sorry, big boy.
153
00:12:31,323 --> 00:12:34,121
Your message in a bottle
will have to wait forever.
154
00:12:37,045 --> 00:12:39,513
- How did you...?
- This charming little bauble.
155
00:12:41,294 --> 00:12:44,786
The Amulet of Urzkartaga
channels the full mystic powers...
156
00:12:44,975 --> 00:12:46,875
...of my feline namesake.
157
00:12:47,048 --> 00:12:48,640
Magic, Superman.
158
00:12:48,822 --> 00:12:52,690
Something to which
you are particularly vulnerable.
159
00:13:06,154 --> 00:13:10,750
Impressive, but you still won't win,
so you might as well surrender now.
160
00:13:11,139 --> 00:13:15,098
Kryptonite-laced nail polish.
Isn't it too divine?
161
00:13:15,656 --> 00:13:19,387
Under all that steel, just a man.
162
00:13:44,029 --> 00:13:46,759
Now to claim my prize.
163
00:13:53,130 --> 00:13:56,463
Are you sure this is the
right approach, Master Bruce?
164
00:13:56,643 --> 00:13:57,667
Of course, Alfred.
165
00:13:57,847 --> 00:14:01,783
By feeding all the requirements of the time
capsule ceremony into the Bat-Computer...
166
00:14:01,962 --> 00:14:07,559
...length of time, posterity, heroics,
it'll tell me the perfect item to donate.
167
00:14:09,156 --> 00:14:10,987
"A Batarang."
168
00:14:11,164 --> 00:14:12,324
Genius.
169
00:14:12,636 --> 00:14:15,833
And you are officially late
for your dinner with Miss Vale.
170
00:14:16,015 --> 00:14:18,313
Will you have any further need
for me then, sir?
171
00:14:18,492 --> 00:14:21,188
That will be all for tonight, Alfred.
172
00:14:23,577 --> 00:14:26,478
Our tracking devices worked as planned.
173
00:14:26,655 --> 00:14:30,147
Leading us straight to our enemies.
174
00:14:32,510 --> 00:14:35,741
Caught with your trunks down,
Dark Knight?
175
00:14:39,537 --> 00:14:43,598
Hair, black. Muscular frame.
176
00:14:47,734 --> 00:14:48,826
Who are you?
177
00:14:49,006 --> 00:14:52,100
Did you come here to fight me,
Luthor, or my janitor?
178
00:14:54,828 --> 00:14:56,022
Oh, dear.
179
00:15:08,478 --> 00:15:10,343
Good job, Alfred. I've got it from here.
180
00:15:10,988 --> 00:15:12,751
Bash that bald blighter.
181
00:15:21,093 --> 00:15:24,893
What's the matter, Luthor?
Superman proved too much for you?
182
00:15:25,241 --> 00:15:28,301
Years of fighting
an almost god-like being.
183
00:15:28,487 --> 00:15:30,921
Now it's just man against man.
184
00:15:38,926 --> 00:15:40,985
This is almost too easy.
185
00:15:59,436 --> 00:16:01,267
Delightful.
186
00:16:02,447 --> 00:16:05,575
Now then, where were we?
187
00:16:05,760 --> 00:16:10,788
Ah, yes, your secret identity.
188
00:16:21,250 --> 00:16:22,649
Manners, Batman.
189
00:16:22,823 --> 00:16:26,122
Always look a visitor in the eye.
190
00:16:26,570 --> 00:16:28,902
Very clever, Dark Knight.
191
00:16:29,548 --> 00:16:30,776
No matter.
192
00:16:30,953 --> 00:16:35,583
As we speak, Joker is finishing off
Wonder Woman, and Cheetah, Superman.
193
00:16:35,771 --> 00:16:37,329
Then go ahead, Luthor.
194
00:16:37,511 --> 00:16:41,106
Better to die here with dignity
than face the world in disgrace.
195
00:16:41,291 --> 00:16:43,259
The world, you say?
196
00:16:43,433 --> 00:16:46,459
Now that's an idea.
You're not as dumb as you look.
197
00:16:47,582 --> 00:16:50,608
Slave all teleporters to my command.
198
00:16:57,452 --> 00:17:01,183
You know me.
I love to beat a joke to death.
199
00:17:10,367 --> 00:17:12,562
You always had lousy timing, Lexy.
200
00:17:12,743 --> 00:17:15,678
I was about to deliver a killer punch line.
201
00:17:15,854 --> 00:17:19,221
You cretinous chrome dome!
What's the meaning of this?
202
00:17:19,401 --> 00:17:22,268
Wouldn't you rather
finish off our captive audience...
203
00:17:22,445 --> 00:17:26,040
...before a captive audience?
204
00:17:51,186 --> 00:17:53,211
Now the whole world can see.
205
00:17:53,395 --> 00:17:56,887
But this time, the world is not enough.
206
00:17:59,251 --> 00:18:02,584
Attention all sentient beings
in the known galaxy.
207
00:18:02,763 --> 00:18:05,425
It is I, Lex Luthor.
208
00:18:05,809 --> 00:18:09,609
And I, the Cheetah in the adorable fur.
209
00:18:09,790 --> 00:18:12,054
And last but never least, me...
210
00:18:12,400 --> 00:18:17,963
...the mountebank of menace, the lord
of laughs, the clown prince of... Unh!
211
00:18:18,155 --> 00:18:19,554
Joker.
212
00:18:19,727 --> 00:18:22,093
We, Earth's greatest villains...
213
00:18:22,270 --> 00:18:26,832
...hereby declare final victory
over Earth's greatest heroes...
214
00:18:27,021 --> 00:18:31,117
...the big three, the trinity. Behold.
215
00:18:31,304 --> 00:18:35,968
Superman, Batman and Wonder Woman.
216
00:18:36,155 --> 00:18:37,622
This was your idea?
217
00:18:37,794 --> 00:18:40,524
Why bring us to the heart
of the enemy stronghold itself?
218
00:18:40,705 --> 00:18:42,935
Remember, it's not the venue.
219
00:18:43,114 --> 00:18:45,639
It's the company.
220
00:18:45,825 --> 00:18:48,692
So, Luthor, since you tricked us
by switching opponents...
221
00:18:48,869 --> 00:18:50,996
...I assume you'll divvy up the spoils
accordingly.
222
00:18:51,178 --> 00:18:53,772
You'll get Gotham City,
Joker gets Paradise Island...
223
00:18:53,955 --> 00:18:55,445
...and Cheetah gets Metropolis.
224
00:18:55,629 --> 00:18:57,062
Are you mad?
225
00:18:57,234 --> 00:19:01,637
Lex Luthor give Metropolis
to this freakish furball? Never.
226
00:19:03,156 --> 00:19:05,818
You dare deny me
your precious Metropolis?
227
00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:10,369
It was I who beat the last son of Krypton,
not you, little man.
228
00:19:10,551 --> 00:19:13,111
She's right, Lexy. A deal's a deal.
229
00:19:13,294 --> 00:19:15,524
You can't stand that I'm better.
Stop it.
230
00:19:15,704 --> 00:19:17,194
Don't you tell me what to do!
231
00:19:17,376 --> 00:19:21,574
Enough. Metropolis is mine
and that's final.
232
00:19:22,964 --> 00:19:24,556
Oh, Rats.
233
00:19:24,738 --> 00:19:27,605
Now it's time we thank our hosts
for their hospitality.
234
00:19:27,782 --> 00:19:29,647
Shall we trade dance partners again?
235
00:19:29,822 --> 00:19:31,915
Let's keep them guessing.
236
00:20:05,523 --> 00:20:06,547
Yeah!
237
00:20:37,677 --> 00:20:41,340
Three on one?
Where's your sense of sportsmanship?
238
00:20:48,786 --> 00:20:50,014
And that's a wrap.
239
00:21:01,733 --> 00:21:03,564
There's still one major problem.
240
00:21:03,741 --> 00:21:04,765
The time capsule.
241
00:21:04,946 --> 00:21:07,437
It's the deadline
and none of us have anything.
242
00:21:07,622 --> 00:21:10,386
I'm sure we'll figure something out.
243
00:21:18,128 --> 00:21:21,723
As we open this time capsule
after 50 years...
244
00:21:21,910 --> 00:21:24,743
...we finally get our answer
to the question:
245
00:21:24,921 --> 00:21:28,413
What does it mean to be a superhero?
246
00:21:35,460 --> 00:21:38,861
Well, that's heroic.
247
00:21:48,743 --> 00:21:51,177
You take the one on the left,
I'll take the right.
248
00:21:51,353 --> 00:21:53,014
Works for me.
249
00:22:02,226 --> 00:22:03,386
You coming or what?
250
00:22:03,900 --> 00:22:05,800
Wouldn't miss it.
251
00:22:05,850 --> 00:22:10,400
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