Original subtitles

We, the Imperial Tiger Army, swear allegiance to our most holy deity.

Oh, holy deity.

Oh, holy deity.

Oh, holy deity.

Behold, I'kbym, the beginning and end of all things.

The end of all things is right.

Tuftan, your deity is an Omega warhead.

And if we don't act quickly, Misfit will soon control it.

Kamandi, you dare blaspheme our sacred ritual?

The last boy on Earth speaks the truth.

It is the ultimate weapon.

And with it, the Misfit will rule what's left of Earth.

Serviteks, attack!

Mine, all mine.

Kamandi, we can't let him desecrate the altar.

Believe me, Tuftan, that's the least of our worries.

Aah!

It's over.

I know you control the Serviteks by mind-control.

Make them stop fighting now.

Huh?

Can it be?

An old friend from the 21st century to lend a hand?

Unh!

Ah, Joker, so you got my distress signal after all.

You know me, always happy to lend a normal-sized hand.

Grr!

Attack him, my legions.

Peanuts, anyone?

Oh, I forgot. You're not supposed to feed the animals, are you?

All right, Joker, let's take out the trash.

Unh!

Thanks to you, Joker, the Misfit now controls Tiger City.

And with it, the Omega warhead.

- Ooh! What does this one do? - No!

At last. I'll have to thank the Atlantean Science Society...

...for their contribution to my little experiment.

Observometer is a geometric leap forward in the science of surveillance.

And it's all mine.

Huh? Hunh!

Your soliloquy of selflessness is over, caped conniver.

Fisherman, you're a fool if you think you can stop my master plan.

We'll see about that.

Unh!

I'm gonna turn you into a filet o' Fisherman.

How delicious. Absolutely delicious, ha, ha, ha!

But knowing you, Bats, you'd probably just throw him back.

Joker.

I could've taken care of Batman myself, you pasty-faced fool.

Sure you could.

Save the fish tales.

We need to find out what Batman is up to.

I'm betting something to make our lives a bit more miserable.

Make that a lot more miserable, Fisherman.

The clown fish in his natural habitat.

A net.

You two can keep each other company until the Atlantean police arrive.

You gotta get me out of here. This is my third strike.

Hold your sea horses, I've got this.

Sorry we can't stay for the party, boys.

But we did bring our own balloons.

Looks like Batman's the fish that got away.

And I have a sinking feeling this is only the beginning of his dynamic deviltry.

Hey, it's him.

Hm. Losers.

A John Wilkes Booth, on the rocks.

You're building something, Bats...

...and it's up to me to find out what it is and stop you.

Oh, look at him. The conquering hero.

He gets a parade...

...and we get hard time on the rock pile in the state pen.

No one said the life of a super-criminal was going to be easy, old man.

Well, I wish I'd had known.

I wouldn't have become a villain in the first place.

Come on, Gramps, lighten up.

Hold the trolley. I know those crocodile tears.

You're the Weeper. You used to be big.

The greatest villain of all time.

I... I... I could have been.

Once, perhaps, but now I'm just a bum.

Pshaw!

You invented super-criminal shtick as we know it.

They called you the crying crime king.

The first villain to use a signature motif in all your crimes. Ha, ha, ha!

Sheer genius.

Why, I even modeled myself after you.

I just went in another direction, of course.

Whatever happened to you?

I had a chance to commit the crime of the century...

...and I let it slip through my fingers.

Farewell, Fawcett City. Your tragic end is nigh.

Your dreams of despair end now, Weeper.

Don't do it.

Thousands of innocent lives will be lost.

Thousands?

Weeper, you just don't have the moxie to stand up...

...against the ballistic force of justice.

I could have destroyed an entire city that night.

But I hesitated.

And for that, I spent the next 30 years serving hard time, Joker.

Joker?

Oh, you silly cat, I love lasagna too.

I'm sorry. You were saying?

It doesn't matter anyway. My days in the limelight are over.

Not without one last fling, they're not.

The fates brought us together for a reason, Weepy.

Picture it: The mountebank of mirth teams up with the duke of downers.

Gotham won't know what hit it. What do you say?

It's not like the old days, Joker. Why, back then, evil fueled my mewling.

Now I only shed bitter tears of regret.

We interrupt this broadcast...

...for breaking news.

Gotham City's own duly deputized champion of law and order, Batman...

...has an announcement.

I have two announcements.

One is for the good citizens of Gotham City.

You have been at the mercy of cowardly and superstitious criminals for too long.

Superstitious?

Thanks to efforts of law-abiding scientists all over the world...

...once I install the remaining components, those days are over forever.

I give you the Bat-Probe, the ultimate weapon in crime prevention.

This device will detect every crime as it is happening...

...and summon the police, or me, immediately, to dispense justice.

No. That's not fair.

My second message is for the criminal scum of Gotham City.

I'll be seeing you, punks.

Batman's gone too far.

I'm in. One last caper, partner.

I'm not sure I'm up to this anymore.

My tyrannical tears of terror are now but a, sniff, a trickle.

Nonsense.

By the time I'm through with you, they'll be a monsoon of misery.

We'll start off small and work up.

Ohh...

Let's start a little smaller.

Hey.

Ma'am?

Maybe we should manage our expectations.

Waah!

Bravo. Like taking candy from a baby.

You're ready for Batman.

A hideout right across the street from S.T.A.R. Labs.

What is this place, Weepy?

I bought it with what I scraped together...

...from making license plates in prison for 30 years.

My big plan was to bring smiles to the faces of snot-nosed tots...

...while bleeding their parents dry.

Oh, Weepy, you're capable of so much worse.

Ha!

Your hunch about S.T.A.R. Labs helping Bats was dead-on.

Your comeback begins now.

Now, just relax.

Crime's like riding a unicycle.

You never forget how.

Hey, boys.

Stop me if you've heard this one before. Ha, ha, ha, ha!

Unh!

This is your cue. Sparkle, Weepy, sparkle.

Into each life, a little rain must fall.

See, Weepy? You still got it.

You're right. I feel woefully alive for the first time in years. Boo, hoo, hoo!

Now, let's crush that Dark Knight despot.

The advanced technology contained in this bio-magnetic sensor...

...will enable the Bat-Probe to detect malevolent intent...

...within the Gotham City limits.

Looks like we're outnumbered, old chum.

Sadly so, but we have the element of surprise on our side.

With this final component installed...

...no black-hearted bottom-feeder...

...will escape the cold, unblinking glare of justice.

What happened to surprise?

I'm sorry.

Joker, you murderous mountebank.

Couldn't wait for the Bat-Probe to set its sights on you, eh?

You know me, Batsy. I like to come early and avoid the rush.

He has me in his famous trick streamers.

Mortimer Gloom, a. k.a., the Weeper.

You'll be wailing behind prison walls when I'm done with you.

Perhaps, Batman, but today, it's your turn to cry me a river.

Way to go, Weepy. Uh-oh.

Aah!

Bats, this obsessive little project of yours has clearly left you unhinged.

I like it.

See how you like this, Joker.

I won't let you oppress our people any further, you caped killjoy.

Aah!

This time the only tears will be at your funeral.

Just what I thought.

Read your file, Weeper.

Still not evil enough to get the job done, are you?

Never were, never will be.

Buck up, Weeps.

I got enough evil for both of us.

Justice always has a way of evening the odds, scum.

Ah. You're taking it well. No tears.

I'm beyond tears, Joker.

The one time when this city really needed a villain, and I failed.

Batman's right. I'm not evil enough.

From a man who should know, that's crazy talk.

I need you, Weeper.

I can't help you.

I'm sorry.

The ultimate weapon against the underworld.

No crime will go unpunished and no criminal will go free.

Well, maybe it's not gonna work.

Unh!

What a revolting development this is.

Huh?

Ah! A welcome wagon.

Unh!

Weeps?

Someone's gotta make the world safe for the criminals of tomorrow.

Weepy.

Come on, partner. Time to make the Bat eat crow.

I knew you'd show up sooner or later, Joker.

You're a fool to face me.

On guard.

Aah!

Looks like you need some new material, Joker.

You're too old for this game, Weeper.

Oh, you're never too old for evil.

Unh!

One last chance, old man.

Give yourself up. It's hopeless.

Not this time.

How the mighty have fallen in the midst of battle.

Oh, I pity thee, Batman.

Bravo. Bravo.

I knew you had it in you, old timer.

The tragedy is that all these years, I didn't believe I could prevail...

...until you came along, Joker.

It's a shame I must do you in now.

Weepy, what are you talking about?

There can only be one king of crime in Gotham and that must be me.

Not in this lifetime, Weeper.

You saved me.

- You're welcome. - No, you fool.

The Weeper was about claim his true destiny.

You robbed me of my greatest prank. Waah!

Joker, crying?

Now, that's funny.

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