All language subtitles for Batman TBATB s02e20 The Criss Cross Conspiracy.eng

Surrender, you diminutive fools.

I have more soldiers
than you can shake a fist at.

- I thought you said help was on the way.
- It is.

We just need to hold off
Bug-Eyed Bandit a little longer. Unh!

I hope you called the most intelligent,
quick-witted hero you could find.

- Sorry I'm late, old chums.
- We're doomed.

Hello?

What in the name of Poseidon?
I hear voices.

Wee little voices.

Outrageous.

Aquaman, the molecular density unit
on my bio-belt has been destroyed...

...trapping us in a microscopic...
- You're so cute.

I could just put you in my pocket
and keep you there forever.

Focus!

Yes. Focus. Right.

Now, you were saying.

You know that doohickey
that lets me get big and small? It's broken.

And if you don't help us,
Batman and I will be ant food.

Well, why didn't you just say that
in the first place, man? I'm on it.

Go while I hold off the Big-Eyed Bandit
and his robotic ants. Unh!

That tickles.

The chamber behind you
contains the remains of a white dwarf star...

...the original source
of my bio-belt's power.

Remove it gently.

Follow me, my friends.

I found you a much bigger picnic.

Now, place the fragment
into the spectrophotometer.

- What?
- Uh, that thing that looks like a toaster.

Ah. Yes. The toaster.

What's wrong?

Ye, gods! I'm on fire.

- Aquaman, concentrate.
- I am trying to.

Huh?

You have not seen the last of me,
tiny titan.

- Good job, Aquaman.
- Yes, yes, professor.

Got any bug spray?

Sorry I'm late, folks, but my invitation
must've gotten lost in the mail.

And on behalf
of all my talented colleagues...

...in the field of brainteasers
and word games...

...I'd like to say it's been an honor
not to be nominated.

You don't deserve that award, Riddler.

Says you. Unh!

Boys, I can't believe
you started this shindig without me.

Holy pulchritude.
I didn't know you called her.

I didn't.

Who is that masked woman?
I like her style.

- Unh!
- Your methods are unacceptable.

Crime-fighting's no place
for thrill-seekers, Katrina.

How do you know who I am?

Katrina Moldoff,
world-class athlete and acrobat...

...famous heiress
to the Moldoff Circus fortune.

It wasn't that hard to figure out.

Crime-fighter ethics prevent me
from exposing your secret identity.

But if you continue
to endanger innocents...

...I will shut you down.

What's the matter, darling?
Threatened by a little competition?

Whoa! Look out!

Wow, cool.
You know, for a girl.

What's wrong, Riddler?
Little too rough for you?

Riddle me this: Why are you
like a bride on her wedding day?

Answer:
Because you're about to be unveiled.

Hey, look.
It's that famous heiress. Katrina Moldoff.

Hey, Katrina. Over here.

That was a dirty trick, Riddler,
even for you.

How does it feel to be exposed?

Gosh, looks like that's the end
of her superhero career.

I feel kind of bad for her,
don't you, Batman?

Actions have consequences, Robin.

Katrina was endangering herself
as well as others.

Maybe this is for the best.

No one stops the Spinner.

Is it just me
or is everything starting to spin?

It's just you.

Got a new girl, I see.

Your ego could never handle a real woman,
could it, darling?

Always your city, your rules.

Why would you care
when the courts outlawed me...

...from ever being in costume again.

Take me home.

Following an escape tonight
from Blackgate Prison...

...police have issued an all-points bulletin
for the Riddler...

...who is considered to be armed
and dangerous.

Perhaps it's finally time
for a little payback.

Felix Faust, at your service.

How may I assist you... Oh, no, no.
Let me guess.

A potion perhaps
to heal a broken heart?

Do I look like a lovesick teenager
to you, Mr. Faust?

Hmm.

Then that must mean
you're here looking for revenge.

More like satisfaction.

Oh.

Well, that requires a much darker magic.

Quite dangerous
in the hands of the inexperienced.

Trust me. I can handle it.

- Batman speaking.
- Batman, it's Katrina. I need your help.

- My life, it's all falling apart.
- This isn't a good time.

Please. You don't understand.
I'm desperate.

I don't know where else to turn.

Okay, I'll be right there.

Thank you for coming, Batman.

We may have had our differences, Katrina,
but I'm still a concerned friend.

And I thought all my friends
left me years ago.

It's shocking how life can change
in an instant, isn't it?

How I'm forced to live as a recluse
while others go on as if nothing happened.

Society would have never treated a man,
treated you, Batman...

...the way it treated me.

Actions have consequences, Katrina.
We live with our choices.

Still, there's time to make things right.

Oh, darling. I intend to.

You know, before you got here...

...I almost made the biggest mistake
of my life.

I almost didn't go through with this.

What are you...? Aah!

Katrina, what have you done? I'm you?

And you're me?

- What could you possibly hope to gain?
- Oh, please. I have a list.

Freedom, for one thing.

No longer will I have to hide
in the shadows.

Then there's my personal favorite:
Retribution.

The Riddler will finally get
what he deserves...

...and Batman will take all the blame.

Not if I have anything to say about it.

Batman would never hit
a defenseless woman.

Funny. I don't have that problem.

Where are the stupid keys?

Voice authorization required.

Um... Batman.

Destination required.

Wherever it is I dwell, of course.

So it wasn't a dream.

Clearly, my new center of gravity
is much higher.

Where have you been?

We were supposed to meet here
over two hours ago.

Darling, I don't have to answer to you.
I'm Batman.

- Did he just call you "darling?"
- What are you waiting for, an invitation?

The Riddler's escaped
and we're going to find him.

This time, that freak's looking
at 20 years behind bars.

I have a much worse fate in mind.

- Life in solitary?
- Try no life at all.

Um, you lost me.

Why am I not surprised?

We're going to extinguish Riddler
and do you know why?

Because I hate him, hate him, hate him.

Uh...

By that I mean, he's a menace
that must be terminated once and for all.

Listen, Batman, I'd love
to get rid of the Riddler as much as you...

...but we don't actually do that.
- We do now.

Get to work.

Set up a surveillance grid
and track down his last known location.

Once more thing:
Nightwing, Nightwing.

Tell me something
and I need the absolute truth.

Do I look fat in this outfit?

I've gotta find something else to wear.

This get-up is going to make me
a prime police target...

...but I don't exactly have a choice.

Whoa! Unh!

Felix Faust,
recently paroled from Blackgate.

So that's how she pulled off
the big swap.

Well, look who's back so soon.

I thought you were the type
who liked to play dress-up.

Now, no need to be shy.

I knew you felt
the same connection I did.

Ugh.

When I was here before, you gave me...
What was it called again?

Well, it was a transmogrification spell.
Why? Was there a problem?

- It didn't work.
- Ah. Just as well.

Why anyone with your body
would want another one is beyond me.

I need a replacement. Now.

This is why
I never leave magic to amateurs.

As you wish, my dear.

But this time, I insist on coming along
to perform it myself.

- That's not necessary...
- Ah, bup, bup.

It's my pleasure.

- What is up with him?
- Beats me.

Look at this.

Police have spotted Katrina Moldoff
donning her old costume.

The bat lady's back?

Ah. This could ruin everything.

Nightwing. Batgirl.

Find that pest
and turn her over to the cops.

I mean, the proper authorities.

But what about the Riddler?

Don't ask questions,
you ridiculous creature. Go!

I'll handle the Riddler myself.
Permanently.

- Quick. Follow me.
- Ooh. A fugitive, are we?

Huh?

Hey, what's going on?

There she is.

And she's working with that ex-con,
Felix Faust.

Okay, Gotham City,
what will the mayor say...

...after I clean out
every last bank account in town?

Answer: It all makes "cents. "
Ha, ha!

Hands up, Riddler.
Riddle me this, riddle me that.

Who's afraid of the big black bat?

Nice entrance, Batman.

Just in time to ruin my little raid
on Gotham City's financial institutions.

But just so we're clear, there's not a prison
in the world that can hold me.

Oh, I have no intention
of sending you back to prison.

Really? Don't tell me the Caped Crusader
wants to make a deal.

Let's make a game out of it, shall we?
You love those.

How do you keep the Riddler
from ruining your Saturday night?

Kill him on a Friday.

Better get yourself a new writer.

Everybody knows
Batman doesn't kill people.

Even people who deserve it.

Only one problem. I'm not Batman.

- I'm Katrina Moldoff.
- Huh?

- Where did she go?
- Right behind you.

- Lf it isn't the bat lady herself.
- Actually, it isn't. I'm Batman.

Right, and I'm the Joker.
Nice to meet you.

Katrina used black magic to swap bodies.
She's in mine. I'm in hers.

- Oh, please.
- Batman was acting really weird.

He even asked me about my shampoo.

If you are Batman,
tell me something only he would know.

Your favorite color is blue,
you used to sleep with a nightlight...

...and you're deathly afraid of monkeys.
- It's him.

Glad you agree.
Now, I need your help.

We must escape this dragnet
and find Katrina to reverse the spell.

He's... I mean,
she's going after the Riddler.

Then there's no time to waste. Come on.

- Monkeys?
- Shut up.

I've waited so long for this.

Sleep tight, won't you?

I'm the one who usually hands out
the clever riddles...

...but it appears you've given me
a much more interesting one instead.

When is Batman not Batman?
And do you know what the answer is?

Who cares?

I'll either be getting rid of the real Batman,
or getting rid of Batman's body...

...and Katrina's smug personality
at the same time.

I call that a win-win.

Sorry, Riddler,
but I'm kind of attached to that anatomy.

Hope you like it hardboiled.

I love a woman with a good left hook.

It was a right jab. Start the spell.

But why are we helping his little sidekicks
when we could let Batman die?

Just do it. Please?

Batgirl, take care of Faust.
We need that incantation.

Magic time, criminal scum.

- You have grown up quite nicely.
- Really?

- Unh!
- Lights out, Riddler.

There's no room in this business
for revenge, Katrina.

An eye for an eye leaves everyone blind.

That's easy to say when you're surrounded
by people you trust.

You can have the exact same thing
and we'll be here to help...

...after you've paid your debt to society.

I'm sorry, Katrina.

Don't worry about me, darling.
I'll get by.

Ah. She was something else.
I'm sure gonna miss Katrina.

You do know, Faust,
that was me in her body.

Well, nobody's perfect.

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