Original subtitles

Zip it, gruesome.

Don't agitate the prisoner, Gardner.

What? Are you kidding? Agitating's the best part.

When the Green Lantern Corps asked me to join...

...Guy Gardner on his assignment...

...it was because they wanted someone for cleanup.

Should this hothead created another one of his famous messes.

Needless to say, this mission involved a lot of cleaning.

Unh! Watch it, lunkhead.

You watch it. You nearly stepped on my prisoner.

That's your prisoner?

What did you use to catch him, a mousetrap or a fly swatter?

Hey, this poozer's from the planet Kvell.

Does the mean little criminal...

...need his diaper changed?

Hey, I get these cuffs off, pal...

...and I make your face as ugly as your haircut.

Go soak your head.

Didn't you hear what Kilowog said?

- He's from Kvell. - And?

And when Kvellians interact with any form of liquid they get...

Really, really big.

Where is he?

Where is he?

Heh.

Need a hand, Guy?

No.

Well, maybe.

Hey, you crumb-bums. Let me out of here.

When I get my hands on you, I'll tear you limb from limb.

This mess, Gardner, you're cleaning up.

Let's get out of here!

Really, Green Arrow, I can handle this myself.

Afraid that I'll show you up again, Bats?

- Again? - As in always.

As in, in your dreams.

Oh, oh, uhn!

Let's see. I've got 19, 22, 26...

And so have you.

We're tied.

- As if that really matters. - Of course it doesn't.

So maybe Green Arrow and I are just a little competitive.

It's not like we get carried away with it...

...much.

Bend, time, bend, then rip apart

Carry us back to home and hearth

We've just been teleported.

Ladies and gentlemen, the world's greatest detective.

Okay, doc, where are we?

Better to ask, "When are we?"

It is the 5th century A.D., the place is Britain, and I...

...am Merlin Ambrosius.

No, really. Where are we?

I'm convinced.

You must forgive the suddenness...

...with which I have brought you here.

It was a desperate act by a desperate man.

Not long ago, a student of mine...

...King Arthur's half sister, Morgaine Le Fey...

...seeking to wrest the throne from our beloved king...

...gathered her army and attacked Camelot.

The Knights of the Round Table fought valiantly...

...but they were no match for Morgaine's enchantments.

Nor, I'm sorry to say, was I.

The student had surpassed the master.

Camelot fell.

All within the castle walls were ensorcelled...

...transformed into things of stone.

And a terrible darkness...

...fell over the land, but hope remains.

The sword in the stone. Excalibur.

I hid it away years ago for just such a purpose.

Only Excalibur's magic can defeat Le Fey and restore our king.

Then why haven't you used it?

Only the one who is worthy can retrieve it.

And this why you brought us here?

Well, don't keep everyone in suspense, doc.

Which one of us is the one who is worthy?

The answer, I'm afraid, is not so clear.

Merlin must not be allowed to retrieve the sword.

You know what you must do, my pet.

Jason Blood lives to serve.

It's not Jason Blood I'm interested in.

Change, change, O form of man Release the might from fleshy mire

Boil the blood in heart of fire

Gone, gone, the form of man

Rise, the demon Etrigan

I turned to mystic runes...

...to reveal the one person in all the universe...

...beside Arthur himself...

...fated to free the sword from the stone.

Alas, they would only divulge that either of you...

...might be the one who is worthy.

Yet, now after seeing you in the flesh...

...it is clear that you, my Dark Knight, you are our shining hope.

Oh, come on.

Aah!

Demon's claws will rend and shred...

...and soon remove the Dark Knight's head.

Well, that's 14 for me, Bats.

We're fighting for our lives against a horde of supernatural creatures.

This isn't the time for infantile games.

Fifteen.

You were my servant once, Etrigan...

...before Le Fey's enchantments stole you from me.

And you shall be my servant again.

Huh? Ooh.

Twenty-five.

Thirty-one.

These two would make a mockery of Queen Morgaine's grand destiny.

But demon power runs unrestrained, and demon wrath can't be contained.

Merlin, are you all right?

Oh, humiliated, but otherwise intact.

Incompetent slave.

Never send a demon to do a queen's job.

I have to go now, Arthur.

But don't worry, my dear beloved brother.

I'll be back soon, to crush you into rubble.

Etrigan, come.

For the record, Bats, it was my arrow that nailed the demon.

Nope, Batgrenade took him down.

Think your horse needs a rest from carrying that enormous ego?

Enough.

We have arrived.

Yonder lies the tower of Excalibur, where the mystic sword is hidden.

The time has come for the one who is worthy...

...to enter the tower and pluck Excalibur from the stone.

You alone can do this.

You alone?

Sorry, but the last time I checked...

...the mystic runes left this one up for debate.

He's so predictable.

If I turn out to be the one, you're not gonna take it personally, are you?

You're afraid I'm gonna top you again.

Again? As in always.

As in, in your...

...dreams.

Doom.

Uh... Did I forget to mention the ogres that protect the tower?

Ogres? Plural?

Brothers, I'm afraid.

Mm. Food.

Hot.

Wait for it.

The spirits of the tower have borne witness to your victory, Dark Knight.

His victory?

You may now enter and retrieve Excalibur.

Camelot is saved.

Not just yet, Merlin.

Excalibur's magic reigns here, Morgaine.

No sorcery can prevent he who is worthy from reaching his destiny.

My dear teacher, I have no intention of stopping him at all.

In fact, I want the Dark Knight to reach his destiny...

...so he may gain Excalibur for his new master.

Go, claim your destiny.

Can someone please tell me...

...why everyone just assumes Batman is the worthy one?

You know, people, it could be me.

You traitorous witch.

Archer, here's your chance to prove yourself.

Stop the Dark Knight from gaining Excalibur.

If you fail, our lives will be lost and Camelot with us.

Come on, Bats.

You're not gonna let her dance you around like a puppet, are you?

Okay, be that way.

Aah!

Finish the old fool.

Easy, Bats, easy. It's me.

Your buddy, Green Arrow.

Green Arrow?

Destroy him.

It's over.

Change, change, O form of man Release the might from...

- What is it? - Nothing, milady.

Fulfill your destiny, Dark Knight. Remove the sword from the stone.

Aah!

Game's over, Le Fey.

How?

A gift from an old fool...

...who perhaps isn't as old or as foolish as we both believed.

Blood, to me, now.

Merlin has released me from your enchantment, Morgaine.

He's given me my freedom at last.

Idiot. Of what use is freedom to the dead?

Excalibur. It's our only chance.

It won't come out.

Then you're not the one who is worthy?

Apparently not.

Gone, gone the form of man

Rise, the demon Etrigan

Surrender, old man.

Arthur's reign is done and you with it.

This is the age of Le Fey.

And finally...

You?

I know, I know, I'm amazing, right?

You think your pathetic arrows can stop me?

Maybe not, but I'm betting that this will. Uhn! Uhn!

Only the one who is worthy can release Excalibur from the stone...

...and all you're worthy of is failure and death.

Maybe the one that was worthy is really two.

Forgive me, archer. I misjudged you.

Eh, you're not the first.

You're free now, Etrigan.

What will you do?

When will you foolish mortals learn?

A demon's fate's not your concern.

Oh, he's a charmer, that one.

King Arthur will be most grateful for all you have done.

I have no doubt that he will knight you both.

Whoa, whoa. Wait a minute.

Why in the world would Arthur knight him?

If it wasn't for me, you'd be a statue now.

And if it wasn't for me, you'd be dragon jerky.

Just can't handle the fact that I showed you up again, can you?

Dark Knight, archer, please.

- Again? - As in always.

This conduct is most unbecoming in candidates for knighthood.

As in, in your dreams.

I guess we really do take this competitive thing way too far, huh?

Since we took Le Fey together, when you think about it...

...we're still tied, right? - Right.

- And what's wrong with that? - Nothing.

Break-in at Bank of Star City.

Bet this can get there before your bucket of bolts can.

I know, I know. Totally juvenile.

You're on.

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